0:00:02 > 0:00:04# You gotta watch this... #
0:00:04 > 0:00:06Pffft!
0:00:06 > 0:00:09# You gotta watch this
0:00:09 > 0:00:11# You gotta watch this!
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# My, my, my, my programme hits you so hard
0:00:15 > 0:00:17# Makes me say Oh, my word!
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# Thank you for watching me It's telly
0:00:20 > 0:00:21# But not what you normally see
0:00:21 > 0:00:23# It feels good And there's out-takes, too
0:00:23 > 0:00:25# Comedy, guests and clips It's true
0:00:25 > 0:00:27# So sit back, don't move too much This is a show
0:00:27 > 0:00:29# Ha! You can't touch
0:00:29 > 0:00:31# Stop! Hacker time! #
0:00:31 > 0:00:32Thank you.
0:00:32 > 0:00:37Hurry up, Derek! We're on air in ten, nine, eight, seven...
0:00:37 > 0:00:40I can't turn it down, Lolly. It's stuck!
0:00:40 > 0:00:43But Mr Hacker's going to be boiling hot down in the studio.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46He can't do a show with the heating on full blast.
0:00:46 > 0:00:50- Oh, 'eck! How long have we got? - One second.- One second?!
0:00:50 > 0:00:52- Forget that.- Oh, phew! - It's no seconds now.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55- You're on air, Mr Hacker.- Oh, no!
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Hello! Hello, cockers.
0:00:59 > 0:01:06I'm Hacker T Dog, and you're watching my very, very hot show.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08They cost me a fiver, them.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12Derek, have you not fixed that thermostat? It's roasting in 'ere.
0:01:12 > 0:01:18- Sorry, Mr Hacker. It's still jammed.- Oh, no!
0:01:18 > 0:01:19Excuse me, Mr Hacker,
0:01:19 > 0:01:22but you're actually watching more clothes than normal.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24- That's probably not helping. - Thank you, Herman.
0:01:24 > 0:01:29- I don't pay you to answer back.- But, Mr Hacker, you don't pay me at all.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Oh, yeah!
0:01:31 > 0:01:34- Any luck, Derek?- I've nearly got it. It's getting looser. Here goes...
0:01:36 > 0:01:43Ohhh! D-D-D-D-D-Derek, what have you done, man?
0:01:43 > 0:01:47- It's gone too far the other way. - Lolly, help me.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49I've got me tank top snagged.
0:01:49 > 0:01:53Hu...hurry up, Derek! I've got a show to do.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57- Oh, no. - Derek, you are useless mooey!
0:01:57 > 0:02:00Don't worry, Mr Hacker, I'll sort it. There is a knack to this.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03What you need is me. I've got it all going on.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Oh! Ooh!
0:02:05 > 0:02:09Sorry, viewers. My director, Derek, is completely useless.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12Sure am. Hah-hoo!
0:02:12 > 0:02:16- Eh?!- Just run the menu, McGee, and let's get on with the show.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19I don't know why I bother, I really don't.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Coming up - funny faces...
0:02:23 > 0:02:27- ..challenging questions... - Oh, that's a tough one. Er...
0:02:27 > 0:02:32..and a random chicken. Hah-hoo! Good shot, Mr Chicken.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39Today's programme is all about The Dumping Ground,
0:02:39 > 0:02:42so I've arranged a couple of guests to tell us everything,
0:02:42 > 0:02:47and I've got a feeling they'll be here very shortly.
0:02:47 > 0:02:53- Wilf! Herman! Go and get them!- Yes, Mr Hacker.- I'll fire up the van.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55HE GUFFAWS
0:02:56 > 0:02:59"MISSION IMPOSSIBLE" THEME PLAYS
0:03:01 > 0:03:03- Hey!- Argh!
0:03:03 > 0:03:06Stay there, folks. Off you go, Wilf.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09Off we go.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17I'll just reverse it.
0:03:17 > 0:03:21Please welcome today's special guests, from The Dumping Ground,
0:03:21 > 0:03:27it's Connor Byrne and Kay Purcell, aka Mike and Gina!
0:03:27 > 0:03:32- Wow! I can't believe it. - Check us out, Kay! I'm so excited!
0:03:32 > 0:03:36- Welcome to my show.- Hello. I can't believe you've got us on your show.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39I never mis anything that you do on telly. I love you.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Oh, well, thank you.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44I would probably blush but I haven't got that ability.
0:03:44 > 0:03:49This is the pinnacle, the acme, of my career.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52- I've got my favourite T-shirt on today.- Oh, what is it?
0:03:52 > 0:03:54- Shall I show you?- Yeah, yeah!
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Ta-da!
0:03:56 > 0:04:01- Check it out, it's Dodge.- Dodge?! - Yeah.- I'm Hacker.- What?- Hacker?
0:04:01 > 0:04:06- Yeah.- Oh, God. I can't stand Hacker. - Oh, Hacker's a load of rubbish.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09- He's not got the same quality that Dodge has.- No...
0:04:09 > 0:04:12Excuse me, I'm still in the room! I'm Hacker T Dog.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15Meat paste! Cotton-eyed Joe! Oh, Ian, you mucky pig!
0:04:15 > 0:04:17All the catchphrases.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20- Oh, never mind.- Oh. - So what do we do now?
0:04:20 > 0:04:24I've gone and prepared a show with you in it.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27- Will you stay, anyway, now you're here?- I suppose so.
0:04:27 > 0:04:31What's the alternative? Having my hair done(?) We might as well stay.
0:04:31 > 0:04:32Why, thank you, Mike.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34- It's Connor.- Whatever.
0:04:34 > 0:04:38Let's peruse a dead good fact file to celebrate this happy moment.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42- Pull the blue lever, Gina.- Kay. - Same difference. Pull it, love.
0:04:44 > 0:04:49Kay and Connor, aka Mike and Gina, are actors from The Dumping Ground.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52Connor's been in Tracy Beaker since the olden days,
0:04:52 > 0:04:56but he was very much in the background back then.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58That's all times because...
0:04:58 > 0:05:01Well, no, he's still in the background, but a bit to the side.
0:05:01 > 0:05:06"Can I come and stand in the front for once?" "No, you can't."
0:05:06 > 0:05:09Gina's always wanted to be the star of the show.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12There was the time she tried to push Tracy over the breakfast bar,
0:05:12 > 0:05:16but she didn't. She's just really jealous of the back of her head!
0:05:16 > 0:05:20But it's not all fun and games. This was Mike's surprise birthday party.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23The surprise was the balloons got nicked.
0:05:23 > 0:05:27But it didn't stop him enjoying his hobby of inspecting people's hands.
0:05:27 > 0:05:28"Oh, they're not bad, are they?"
0:05:28 > 0:05:32"Oh, dirty fingernails. Sort that out, love."
0:05:32 > 0:05:34"What's this? Blurred hands.
0:05:34 > 0:05:38"That girl needs some focus in her life - quite literally."
0:05:38 > 0:05:39But blurred hands or not,
0:05:39 > 0:05:43Mike and Gina have become stalwarts of that there dumping ground,
0:05:43 > 0:05:45and we love them for it.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47"Can I be at the front this time?" "No!"
0:05:47 > 0:05:51They might have to stand at the back a lot but it's clear to see
0:05:51 > 0:05:54who's really in charge of things round there.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56ALL SHOUT AND SCREAM
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Yes, that's right, not them.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02So that's everything need to know about Kay and Connor.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04What an interesting piece of tape.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07I didn't know all of those definitely true facts.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10I am now going to interview you about The Dumping Ground.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13Question one.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17Connor, what is it like being in one of the most popular shows on CBBC?
0:06:17 > 0:06:20It's a pleasure working with my friend here and Dani
0:06:20 > 0:06:24- and all the kids on Tracy Beaker. - No, no, no. Come on.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27I mean Hacker Time, not that Dumping Ground nonsense.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29What's he like?!
0:06:29 > 0:06:33- I've never been so aghast in all my days. Next question.- Go on.
0:06:33 > 0:06:38On your show, your characters have to deal with naughty kids,
0:06:38 > 0:06:41so now I'm going to be a naughty child and, Kay,
0:06:41 > 0:06:43you've got to reprimand me.
0:06:43 > 0:06:48- Here goes. "Gina..."- "Shut up now!" - "..I don't want to go to bed.
0:06:48 > 0:06:49"It's only eight o'clock."
0:06:49 > 0:06:53- "Come here."- "Why do I have to go to bed at eight o'clock?"
0:06:53 > 0:06:56"Come here. Now shut up!"
0:06:56 > 0:07:00"But, Gina, it's only eight o'clock in the morning."
0:07:00 > 0:07:05Remember, Kay, the devil is very much in the detail
0:07:05 > 0:07:06when it comes to childcare.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09- Better luck next time. - All right, love.- Question three.
0:07:09 > 0:07:14- Connor, what's your favourite meat produce?- Oh, that's tough one.
0:07:14 > 0:07:19- Erm...pate. No, probably meat paste. - Oh, meaty paste!
0:07:19 > 0:07:23You can't beat it. Now, you two are popular and that, aren't you?
0:07:23 > 0:07:26There are some big fans standing by the phones, ready to ask you things.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Pick up your phones, cockers.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33- Who's on line one?- 'How do?
0:07:33 > 0:07:36'I'd like to enquire where to buy those Dodge T Dog T-shirts
0:07:36 > 0:07:39- 'that your guest was wearing earlier.'- Dodge?!
0:07:39 > 0:07:43You want a Dodge T-shirt?! This is Hacker Time.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46Derek, put the split-screen effect on now.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49- I want to see who was responsible for this.- Oh...whoopsie!
0:07:49 > 0:07:52Derek Alan McGee, I'm shocked and appalled.
0:07:52 > 0:07:57- Get off my show, you mucky pig. - Sorry, Mr Hacker.
0:07:57 > 0:08:01Why does no-one want a T-shirt of me? Never mind.
0:08:01 > 0:08:05Mike, Gina, I've got something to show you.
0:08:05 > 0:08:10- It's Kay and Connor. Kay and Connor. - No, it's not!- Yes, it is!
0:08:10 > 0:08:13It's a clip from Tracy Beaker Returns,
0:08:13 > 0:08:16- and I'm afraid I've got a bit of a confession to make, Kay.- Yeah?
0:08:16 > 0:08:20- You better watch this.- OK.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24- What are you lot doing? - ALL: Hi, Gina!
0:08:24 > 0:08:29Hey, look what I've got. Wey-hey!
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Give them back.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34HE CHUCKLES
0:08:38 > 0:08:40Whoopsie!
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Erm, they made me do it!
0:08:44 > 0:08:47What were you thinking you were doing?
0:08:47 > 0:08:52- Ha! It was me wreaking havoc all along.- Yeah.- What a lot of chay-os.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55- Weren't that a LOL? - Talking of LOLs...
0:08:55 > 0:08:58- Oh, no, you don't, Derek. - Oh, yes, I do, Mr Hacker.
0:08:58 > 0:09:03- It's Derek Time! - Somebody make him stop now. D'oh!
0:09:05 > 0:09:09Ha-hoo! It's Derek Time. Heh-heh!
0:09:09 > 0:09:12Welcome to Derek Time, me ducks.
0:09:12 > 0:09:16Now, we haven't got time to show you the dog scared by his own trumps...
0:09:16 > 0:09:19PPHHRRRRT!
0:09:22 > 0:09:24PPHHRRRRT!
0:09:25 > 0:09:28..and we haven't got time to show you the chicken caught
0:09:28 > 0:09:31cheating in a pool tournament...
0:09:31 > 0:09:33CHICKEN CLUCKS
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Hoo-hoo! Bock-bock!
0:09:39 > 0:09:42..but we do have time to show you this.
0:09:42 > 0:09:46Now, how on earth is that dog going to eat that bone?
0:09:46 > 0:09:49How's he going to manage it? I don't understand...
0:09:49 > 0:09:53Ho-ho, he's done it. He must be some sort of super dog.
0:09:53 > 0:09:58Hoo-hoo! And that concludes today's Derek Time.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Back to you, Hacker.
0:10:00 > 0:10:04You think it's bad having to deal with them naughty kids?
0:10:04 > 0:10:05Try working with Derek McGee.
0:10:05 > 0:10:09The man's a nuisance, I tell you, a stinking nuisance!
0:10:09 > 0:10:12Ooh! Hello.
0:10:12 > 0:10:13Erm, thanks very much, Derek.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Always a fascinating part of the show.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Can't wait till next time.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19- Right, then. Mike and Gina...- No.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23- It's Kay and Connor. Kay and Connor.- Oh, yeah!
0:10:23 > 0:10:27It's tricky to remember that. You see, you act in a show
0:10:27 > 0:10:29and you come in here using different names.
0:10:29 > 0:10:33- It's all rather confusing, isn't it, Connor?- No, it's not.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37I shall for ever think of you as Michael and Gina,
0:10:37 > 0:10:41and I shall now sing a song to that effect. Good day.
0:10:44 > 0:10:49# There's lots of folks in The Dumping Ground
0:10:49 > 0:10:52# Most are good guys Agreeable and sound
0:10:52 > 0:10:55# I like 'em all but two favourites I have found
0:10:55 > 0:10:59# Oh, it's Mike and Gina from The Dumping Ground
0:10:59 > 0:11:04# Mike Milligan has an MBE
0:11:04 > 0:11:08# Seen as a father figure for Tracy
0:11:08 > 0:11:11# Been in it years but that doesn't bother me
0:11:11 > 0:11:14# Oh, his firm but fair Mike Milligan, MBE
0:11:14 > 0:11:17# But he'd be nothing if he was on his own
0:11:17 > 0:11:19# Someone to help him out?
0:11:19 > 0:11:21# There's only one woman for the job
0:11:21 > 0:11:23# She's played by Kay Purcell
0:11:23 > 0:11:26# Learned how to ballroom dance at the peak of season two
0:11:26 > 0:11:30# She always brightens up my day Her name's Gina Conway
0:11:30 > 0:11:34# Sir Connor Byrne and Lady Kay Purcell
0:11:34 > 0:11:38# Nice folks, not bad actors as well
0:11:38 > 0:11:41# Their very presence makes me one happy hound dog
0:11:41 > 0:11:45# Oh, the king and queen of The Dumping Ground
0:11:45 > 0:11:47# Mike!
0:11:47 > 0:11:49# Gina!
0:11:49 > 0:11:54# The king and queen of The Dumping Ground, huh! #
0:11:54 > 0:11:56Thank you.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00Ta-da! What d'you think, Mike and Gina?
0:12:00 > 0:12:04- No, no. It's Kay and Connor. Kay and Connor.- Mike and Gina is nicer.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07No, Connor, Kay. It's easy.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10I'll never get used to this acting lark. Now, Mike and Gina...
0:12:10 > 0:12:13VOICES FADE
0:12:13 > 0:12:16This programme is an utter disgrace, Benjamin.
0:12:16 > 0:12:21- We must write a letter of complaint. Take this down.- Right-o, Frank.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25Dear the BBC, I am writing to complain about Hacker Time.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28How much cash are you spending on this annoying muck?
0:12:28 > 0:12:32Lavish sets, big-name guests and an epic musical number.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34You must have money to burn.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38- What was that last bit?- Money to burn, Benjamin, money to burn.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40You must have money to burn!
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Well, if you say so, Frank.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45What are you doing with all those lovely £20 notes?
0:12:45 > 0:12:48I'm throwing all your life savings onto the fire, Frank.
0:12:48 > 0:12:52You did say, "I must have money to burn."
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Oh, Ben-ja-min!
0:12:56 > 0:12:59- Did you hear something?- Yeah, I did. - What was it?
0:12:59 > 0:13:02The sound series three of Hacker Time being recommissioned?
0:13:02 > 0:13:05- Erm...- No!
0:13:05 > 0:13:10It was more like, I don't know, insects scratching around. Yeuch!
0:13:10 > 0:13:13- You know, under the desk. - Oh, yeah, that figures.
0:13:13 > 0:13:17This studio shouldn't legally be used. It's totally infested.
0:13:18 > 0:13:22Right, then, cockers, I've got some good news and some bad news.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25- Oh, great.- The good news is, you're doing very well on my show.
0:13:25 > 0:13:29- I'm very impressed.- Oh, thank you. - What's the bad news?
0:13:29 > 0:13:31I've got to put up with you for 15 minutes.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Time really is dragging today.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Derek, the menu!
0:13:35 > 0:13:40- 'Still to come today - TV crimes.' - Oh, that's good.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42'Crimes against TV...'
0:13:42 > 0:13:45My latest scheme...
0:13:45 > 0:13:47'..and an excitable viewer.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49'Oh, look at him!
0:13:49 > 0:13:52'Don't go away, my little owls. Ha-hoo-hoo!'
0:13:52 > 0:13:55- Looks good that, don't it? - I must admit, Hacks,
0:13:55 > 0:13:58I was a bit unsure about the show but...
0:13:58 > 0:13:59I'm really, really enjoying it.
0:13:59 > 0:14:05- Ah, thanks, Gina.- Kay! Kay! - Whatever. Now, then, Mike...
0:14:05 > 0:14:07- It's Connor. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:14:07 > 0:14:11I've been meaning to say, you've got a lovely glow to you today, sir.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15- Have you been out in the sunshine? - Thank you. No, it's make-up.
0:14:15 > 0:14:16Make up?!
0:14:16 > 0:14:18We're in a television studio with lights.
0:14:18 > 0:14:22- Actors and presenters wear make-up all the time.- Well, I never.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Why didn't you have something exciting painted on,
0:14:24 > 0:14:29like a hamster or a lion, rather than a wrinkly bald old man?!
0:14:29 > 0:14:31HACKER GUFFAWS
0:14:32 > 0:14:35CONNOR GROWLS AND BARKS
0:14:35 > 0:14:36Oh... Ooh!
0:14:36 > 0:14:41Right, I'm going to go off and see some real human people
0:14:41 > 0:14:44who aren't off the telly and have some make-up-based fun.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47Good day to you. And pair up those socks while I'm gone!
0:14:47 > 0:14:49That is weird.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51- Here you go.- Here we go.
0:15:09 > 0:15:14- You all right, cockers?- ALL: Yeah! - Yeah, it's me, Hacker.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17- Hey, do you lot think you could help me?- ALL: Yeah!
0:15:17 > 0:15:21Good, because I need you all to give me some make-up tips.
0:15:21 > 0:15:25Herman, bring in the box o' stuff.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27Here we go, Hacker. Woah!
0:15:27 > 0:15:30- CRASH! - Oh, I'm grazed.
0:15:34 > 0:15:39- Hey, Dylan, what have you painted Jack's face like?- A monkey.
0:15:39 > 0:15:43- Let's have a look. Ooh, have a banana.- I've already got one.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45All right.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48- What have you painted Toni's face like?- A wicked witch.
0:15:48 > 0:15:53Let's have a look, then. Arrrgh! Ooh, ooh, it's terrifying! I'm off.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56Jamie-Lee, at least yours can't be as frightening as that last one.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59- What have you painted?- A clown. - Oh, no.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02I'm terrified of clowns. Arrrgh!
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Argh! Argh!
0:16:04 > 0:16:08No, don't do it. Right, you lot, swap over.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17Hey, Lucy, what have you painted Jamie-Lee like?
0:16:17 > 0:16:19- A pig. - Can you oink like a big?
0:16:19 > 0:16:21THEY OINK
0:16:21 > 0:16:23- Argh!- Ooh...
0:16:23 > 0:16:27- I had a bit of catarrh then. What's he supposed to be?- A pretty lady.
0:16:27 > 0:16:28Let's have a look.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30WOLF WHISTLE
0:16:30 > 0:16:34- Ooh, aren't you pretty? Do you like looking like that?- No.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36- Give us a kiss, Cameron.- No.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38- HACKER PUCKERS UP - Mwah!
0:16:38 > 0:16:41Will you put that banana down now, please?
0:16:41 > 0:16:44- Now, what's he meant to be? - A zombie.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47Ooh! Can you act like a zombie?
0:16:47 > 0:16:49HE GROANS FAINTLY
0:16:49 > 0:16:51Let's get 'em.
0:16:51 > 0:16:52HACKER GROANS
0:16:56 > 0:16:59You've all done really well today, but I have painted Sophie's face
0:16:59 > 0:17:04to look like the most beautiful thing in the room - me!
0:17:04 > 0:17:08- And you can even act like me, can't you, Sophie?- Yeah.- Let's do it!
0:17:08 > 0:17:12- THEY CHEER - She's better than me. I'm furious!
0:17:12 > 0:17:14Argh! It's Hacker Time!
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Ooh, you've changed.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20So, what have we learnt today?
0:17:20 > 0:17:24Number one - a bit of lippie goes a long way.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27Number two - you can overdo it a bit.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29You know who you are.
0:17:29 > 0:17:34And number three - ha-ha-ha! I've never been to Poland.
0:17:35 > 0:17:39Thank you for all your help, cockers. Bye-bye.
0:17:39 > 0:17:43- ALL: Bye, Hacker. - Now, I must get back to the studio.
0:17:43 > 0:17:47I bet it's quiet there without me, isn't it? Oh, look, a clown!
0:17:47 > 0:17:49DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
0:17:52 > 0:17:59Panic not, Packer T Dog has returned with the findings of his visit.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01What's going on in here, then?!
0:18:01 > 0:18:04- Stop the music. Cease! - Yes, Mr Hacker.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08How dare you experience merriment in my absence?
0:18:08 > 0:18:10I'm the main one on this show!
0:18:10 > 0:18:14- Fun is not allowed without my say-so.- BOTH: Sorry.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17- And you, costumed characters. - ALL: Sorry, Hacker.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20So you should be. Hey, Connor and Kay,
0:18:20 > 0:18:23- would you like to get this show back track with me?- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27Let's have a little look at some fantastic hilarious howlers.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29Run it!
0:18:32 > 0:18:35Come on, sir. Is that a real seat belt? Come on.
0:18:35 > 0:18:39Don't pull it so hard. Come on. If you do it slowly...
0:18:39 > 0:18:40I told you that!
0:18:42 > 0:18:45It's a safety thing. Put it into gear and move away safe...
0:18:45 > 0:18:47He's stalled it. Perfect!
0:18:47 > 0:18:50Now, this man's got a hat on, yes?
0:18:50 > 0:18:53Oh, but the man with the chair's gone askew.
0:18:53 > 0:18:57The hat was just a red herring. Ha-ha, ha-ha!
0:18:57 > 0:18:59Loads of things you can do today,
0:18:59 > 0:19:01and lots of bikes you can try out.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05I'm delighted to announce... What's going on down here?
0:19:05 > 0:19:07Cameraman's fallen over!
0:19:07 > 0:19:10LAUGHTER Here you are, let me give you a lift.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Now, if you've ever been doubting
0:19:12 > 0:19:15whether this is recorded live, there's your answer.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18# Row, row, row your boat... #
0:19:18 > 0:19:20You've broken it! What are you playing at?
0:19:20 > 0:19:24- I've broken my bottom. - He's broken his bott-omm!
0:19:25 > 0:19:28Ha-ha-ha! Acting LOLs and that.
0:19:28 > 0:19:34Right then, Kay and Connor, you are actors in television. Yes.
0:19:34 > 0:19:38I am also in television, and I am also a high-quality actor.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41I shall play a girl I have named Tracy Beaker.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44- Ah, right.- The scenario is thus.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47We are working in the camping ground.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50- Oh, I see.- Ah, right.- And we are having a right old bicker
0:19:50 > 0:19:53about whose turn it is to make a brew.
0:19:53 > 0:19:57- My assistants, Derek and Lolly, are up in the gallery.- Hoo-hoo!
0:19:57 > 0:19:59They shall suggest new styles of TV show,
0:19:59 > 0:20:03and we must act accordingly. You get the idea?
0:20:03 > 0:20:06- Yes.- OK.- The time starts now!
0:20:06 > 0:20:09- Gina, any chance of a cup of tea, love?- Yeah, of course.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12- Can I have it milky as you like, cocker?- You can.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15- Go and make some tea.- You go and make it. ..No, you go and make it.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17- BUZZER - Soap opera.
0:20:17 > 0:20:22Give it a shake, love. That's it. It's a soap opera. Ooh!
0:20:22 > 0:20:28- I will have a bit of cake with my tea.- Well, I don't really know.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31I'll have an Eccles cake. I don't need this - I'm already bald.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33- BUZZER - Cop show.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36- OK, here we go. - Get your hair off, love.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38THEY LAUGH
0:20:38 > 0:20:39I think that YOU did it.
0:20:39 > 0:20:43- No, YOU did it.- It's a fair cop. - Just get back in there.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46- He thinks he's top dog, he does. - You did this!- Calm down.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48I will not calm down!
0:20:48 > 0:20:50Good work.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52- BUZZER - Period drama.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55In sooth, I will wander through my house.
0:20:55 > 0:20:59As I shuffle from this mortal coil, I would say I want a brew.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02I feel faint for lack of brew.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05I will scuttle off and make the tea for all you lords and ladies.
0:21:05 > 0:21:09You filthy urchin! You make me wretch, sir!
0:21:09 > 0:21:14- BUZZER - That's it, time's up. Wasn't I marvellous in that?- Fantastic.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Thank you. And if you want to see a bit more top-notch acting,
0:21:17 > 0:21:20have a look at me in Sherlock Bones. Thank you.
0:21:20 > 0:21:25This is the lawless town of Teapot. It's every bit as sinister as...
0:21:25 > 0:21:28Hang on, who's he? Coming in here...
0:21:28 > 0:21:34Family Tongue, you are under arrest for crimes relating to cups.
0:21:34 > 0:21:38Working hard, Detective?
0:21:38 > 0:21:42- You!- Yes, me! I'm a thief,
0:21:42 > 0:21:46a crook, a villain, your equal and opposite in every way.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49I am Baroness Von Cat,
0:21:49 > 0:21:56the most evil cat criminal in the world. Ha-ha-ha!
0:21:56 > 0:22:00- Cool!- No, not cool.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03Evil...!
0:22:19 > 0:22:23It's so cool to have my own worst enemy.
0:22:23 > 0:22:27- We can braid each other's hair. - Shut up and pay attention, Sherlock.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30Behold my latest scheme.
0:22:30 > 0:22:35Ha-ha-ha! The only way to save the victim
0:22:35 > 0:22:38is by playing a little game.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41- Ha-ha-ha!- Can it be kiss-chase?
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Shut up and pay attention!
0:22:43 > 0:22:45Your challenge is to complete this,
0:22:45 > 0:22:49- the most difficult crossword in the world!- Oh, no!
0:22:49 > 0:22:54Three-letter word, opposite of dog, beginning with C and ending in T.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57Oh, Baroness Von Cat, this is impossible!
0:22:57 > 0:23:01Please, if you don't solve the puzzle, she...
0:23:01 > 0:23:04She's going to make silly noises in my ear...
0:23:04 > 0:23:08- for anything up to a minute! - You're mad, you are.- Ha-ha-ha!
0:23:08 > 0:23:13- Good luck, Sherlock. Your time starts...now!- Oh, no!
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Oh, no...
0:23:19 > 0:23:21HOOTER
0:23:21 > 0:23:27- Oh, it's impossible. I'm sorry. - No, no, please!
0:23:27 > 0:23:31She's going to make silly noises in my year for up to a minute!
0:23:31 > 0:23:37Wa-a-a-a-ay! Whee-ee-ee!
0:23:37 > 0:23:41It's so annoying! It's nearly a word, but not quite.
0:23:41 > 0:23:45- So frustrating!- Meeeee-raaaan-taaaa!
0:23:45 > 0:23:52- Meeeeee!- Sounds like fun, this. Wooooorrrrrrt!- No, Sherlock! No!
0:23:52 > 0:23:57- Wooooorrrrrr!- Woooorrrr! - So nearly words!
0:24:01 > 0:24:06It's true, "woooorrrrrrt" is an annoying word, isn't it?
0:24:06 > 0:24:10- So then, Mike...- It's Connor.- Is it?
0:24:10 > 0:24:14I hear from my sources that you used to be a BALLOT dancer.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17I was a BALLET dancer, yes.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20Many, many moons ago when I still had hair.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22It must have been some time back, then.
0:24:22 > 0:24:27- Will you give us a demonstration of ye talents?- All right, OK.
0:24:27 > 0:24:28Go on.
0:24:29 > 0:24:34- I'm sorry!- Mike Milligan, MBE!
0:24:34 > 0:24:40It's not Mike Milligan, it's Connor Byrne!
0:24:40 > 0:24:43Mike Milligan is a fictional character.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45I don't care what your name is,
0:24:45 > 0:24:49you've just squashed my long-running friend, sidekick and confidante,
0:24:49 > 0:24:51- Harry Tondew.- I'm sorry.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54I will not tolerate cup-squashing in this studio!
0:24:54 > 0:24:57- Now get out of here, Connor! - What? But...
0:24:57 > 0:24:58Get out! And you too, Kay!
0:24:58 > 0:25:02I know you're innocent in all this, but you must be away with you.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05- Leave. Get out, and never come back! - Please...
0:25:05 > 0:25:07And mind your head on the way out.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10Yes. What lovely people.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13But I'm glad they've gone, because right now I'm going to show you
0:25:13 > 0:25:19some of my favourite LOLs from around the world. It's time for...
0:25:19 > 0:25:22Hacker's top three epic fail howlers.
0:25:24 > 0:25:28In at three, be very wary of teasing frogs.
0:25:28 > 0:25:34Oh, look! He's playing leapfrog! What could possibly go wrong?
0:25:34 > 0:25:37Oh, look! It's got his thumb!
0:25:37 > 0:25:39Quick, call Steve Backshall, he'll sort it out.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44At two, this wrestler's more annoying than the Miz.
0:25:44 > 0:25:48Now, here we've got a perfectly good news report.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Very informative, very interesting,
0:25:50 > 0:25:53and a lovely woman, I don't mind telling you.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55Yeah. What could possibly go wrong? Oh, no!
0:25:55 > 0:25:57A wrestler comes in and kisses her!
0:25:57 > 0:26:01Oh, that would've put me right off me tea. Ugh!
0:26:01 > 0:26:04Come here, baby. Give Mamma some sugar.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06HE PUCKERS UP
0:26:06 > 0:26:12And at one, this nutty athlete has forgotten how to jump.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16Oh, look! He's knocking them all down!
0:26:16 > 0:26:19He's curdling those hurdles. Ha-ha-ha!
0:26:20 > 0:26:23He'll never win a prize at this rate.
0:26:23 > 0:26:27Don't just push them, cocker. Ooh!
0:26:27 > 0:26:28Oh, how embarrassing.
0:26:28 > 0:26:33Imagine what his poor mother must think. What a disgrace!
0:26:33 > 0:26:36Anyway, that's all we've got time for today on Hacker Time.
0:26:36 > 0:26:40Thanks for watching, and that. I'm off now to prune some geraniums.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43Not mine - I've only got a small winter box.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45I'll see you next time,
0:26:45 > 0:26:48when my guests WON'T include Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50In the meantime,
0:26:50 > 0:26:53I shall perform my well good song to make your life better.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55Hit it! Goodbye!
0:26:56 > 0:26:59# That is it for now The end of the show
0:26:59 > 0:27:01# I need the lav so I'm going to go
0:27:01 > 0:27:04# I'll see you next time on this show of mine
0:27:04 > 0:27:06# Put in your diary It's called Hacker Time
0:27:06 > 0:27:08# It's been amazing We've been larking around
0:27:08 > 0:27:10# And we've been LOL-ing at some clips that I found
0:27:10 > 0:27:13# Watch again next time cos I've got much more
0:27:13 > 0:27:14# There'll be tons of other funny stuff
0:27:14 > 0:27:16# It will be top drawer
0:27:16 > 0:27:19# Kay and Connor from The Dumping Ground
0:27:19 > 0:27:20# Were my guests today
0:27:20 > 0:27:22# I brought them in, we had a laugh
0:27:22 > 0:27:25# Then it got out of hand so I told them to go away
0:27:25 > 0:27:28# That is it for now The end of the show
0:27:28 > 0:27:30# I need the lav so I'm going to go
0:27:30 > 0:27:32# I'll see you next time on this show of mine
0:27:32 > 0:27:35# Put in your diary It's called Hacker Time
0:27:35 > 0:27:37# Put in your diary It's called Hacker Time
0:27:37 > 0:27:40# That is the end of today's Hacker Time! #
0:27:40 > 0:27:43- Thanks, Mike.- It's Connor Byrne!
0:27:43 > 0:27:44Ooh!