0:00:02 > 0:00:04# You gotta watch this... #
0:00:04 > 0:00:06Pffft!
0:00:06 > 0:00:08# You gotta watch this
0:00:09 > 0:00:11# You gotta watch this!
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# My, my, my, my programme hits you So hard
0:00:15 > 0:00:18# Makes me say Oh, my word!
0:00:18 > 0:00:20# Thank you for watching me It's telly
0:00:20 > 0:00:21# But not what you normally see
0:00:21 > 0:00:23# It feels good there's out-takes, too
0:00:23 > 0:00:25# Comedy, guests and clips It's true
0:00:25 > 0:00:27# So sit back, don't move too much This is a show
0:00:27 > 0:00:29# Ha! You can't touch
0:00:29 > 0:00:31# Stop! Hacker time! #
0:00:31 > 0:00:32Thank you.
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Hoo-hoo! Lolly, I'm so excited!
0:00:35 > 0:00:38Why, Derek? Have you made another model of Ipswich
0:00:38 > 0:00:40out of your toenail clippings?
0:00:40 > 0:00:42Oh, no, better than that.
0:00:42 > 0:00:46It's time for the biggest and best Hacker Time opener we've done ever!
0:00:46 > 0:00:48- Really?- Hoo-hoo, yes!
0:00:48 > 0:00:52We've blown the whole budget of the show on this sequence.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54We've even brought Steven Spielberg in to direct it!
0:00:54 > 0:00:57This event is going to excite people,
0:00:57 > 0:00:59it'll move them beyond belief.
0:00:59 > 0:01:03It'll make them question every emotion they hold dear!
0:01:03 > 0:01:06On air in 3... 2... 1.
0:01:07 > 0:01:11UPBEAT TRUMPET TUNE
0:01:26 > 0:01:28Is that it?
0:01:28 > 0:01:31Oh, yes! It's so beautiful, isn't it?
0:01:33 > 0:01:36Bravo, Mr Hacker! Bravo!
0:01:36 > 0:01:39Thank you! Thank you! Wasn't that just brilliant?
0:01:39 > 0:01:41I can't imagine anyone not liking that.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43PHONE RINGS
0:01:43 > 0:01:44Excuse me.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Hello?
0:01:46 > 0:01:49Oh, hello, the controller of CBBC. What's that?
0:01:49 > 0:01:51You DIDN'T like it?
0:01:51 > 0:01:53If we ever do it again you'll fire Derek?
0:01:53 > 0:01:57- Yes! - Ooh, 'eck! Let's move on!
0:01:57 > 0:01:59Here's the menu, Mr Hacker!
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Coming up today, hard-hitting interviews...
0:02:02 > 0:02:05What are facts?
0:02:05 > 0:02:08..snowboarding marsupials...
0:02:08 > 0:02:12..and newsreaders disgracing themselves. Ho-hoo!
0:02:12 > 0:02:13Here's the news, the news...
0:02:15 > 0:02:18Good day, everyone, welcome to my little show.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20Today we're exploring the world of news,
0:02:20 > 0:02:23so who better than a top-notch journalist as a guest?
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Wilf! Herman! Get us one!
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Yes, Mr Hacker!
0:02:28 > 0:02:29I'll fire up the van!
0:02:29 > 0:02:32Ha ha ha!
0:02:36 > 0:02:40Coming up we have a very in-depth report on the Russian economy.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42And a stoat that plays the accordion!
0:02:42 > 0:02:44But first on Newsround...
0:02:44 > 0:02:47Stay there, mate. Off you go, Wilf!
0:02:47 > 0:02:48What are you doing?!
0:02:48 > 0:02:51- Off we go! - Let me out of here this second!
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Otherwise I'm going to call my lawyer!
0:02:58 > 0:03:00Let me reverse it...
0:03:00 > 0:03:04Please welcome today's special guest From Newsround.
0:03:04 > 0:03:05It's...
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Hacker Time.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Oh no, no, not again!
0:03:09 > 0:03:11OK then, Hacker, where do you want me?
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Wilf! Herman! What are you playing at?
0:03:14 > 0:03:17We had him on last series! I meant the other one!
0:03:17 > 0:03:21Hold on, does that mean you won't be needing m...?
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Here we go again.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27We want your views on that story, head over to the Newsround website.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30Coming up next... Whoah!
0:03:35 > 0:03:38Please welcome today's special guest, from Newsround,
0:03:38 > 0:03:41it's Ricky Boleto!
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Hacker! What's going on?
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Ricky! How are you, my dear?
0:03:47 > 0:03:50- You didn't answer my question. - You didn't answer MY question.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53I said, how are you, my dear?
0:03:53 > 0:03:55I'm... I'm fine, thanks.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Good. Now, as my guest on Hacker Time,
0:03:58 > 0:04:01you're in for some top-drawer treats, cocker.
0:04:01 > 0:04:05I've even got a button that does that thing off the end of Newsround.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08NEWSROUND CLOSING MUSIC
0:04:08 > 0:04:11Hacker, I haven't got time, I've got news to do.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Ha ha! Foolish boy! There's no way you're going to get out of this.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Oh, yeah? I'm going to call my mum!
0:04:17 > 0:04:18Oh, he's good.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21Hello, Mum? It's me, Ricky.
0:04:21 > 0:04:22Can you pick me up?
0:04:22 > 0:04:24I'm at the Hacker Time studios.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26Oh! But, Mum!
0:04:26 > 0:04:29- Oh, whatevs, bye. - What did she say?
0:04:29 > 0:04:32She's buying oven chips, but she'll be here in half an hour.
0:04:32 > 0:04:36Perfect! In that case, pull that blue lever, cocker,
0:04:36 > 0:04:39for I have nil thumbs for such a task.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42Ricky Boleto is a 7-year-old boy
0:04:42 > 0:04:45who presents on that Newsround programme.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47this is his Year Two school photo.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50He's scrubbed up well - look how he started out!
0:04:50 > 0:04:53Look at his mucky famscrage, and his hair's a mess.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56And that is a face for radio, isn't it?
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Growing up, his parents dreamed of having one son
0:04:59 > 0:05:03who was a body builder, and one that was on telly.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06- "I want to be the body builder!" - "Pipe down, sweet cheeks!"
0:05:06 > 0:05:08"OK"!
0:05:08 > 0:05:11Ricky's got loads of celebrity friends, like Emma Watson.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Oh, look! She's gorgeous!
0:05:13 > 0:05:16And Olly Murs! Oh, he's gorgeous!
0:05:16 > 0:05:18And this pillow...
0:05:18 > 0:05:19Bit weird, that, Ricky.
0:05:19 > 0:05:23And he's just got weirder. The fame's gone to his head.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Look, he's eating gold for breakfast!
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Going to work in a helicopter!
0:05:28 > 0:05:31But it all went wrong when he spent all his money
0:05:31 > 0:05:33and had to live in this plant pot.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35Oh, Ricardo! You total mooey.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Still, he's a brilliant news reporter
0:05:38 > 0:05:40who's become known for his integrity,
0:05:40 > 0:05:43doing reports from tropical destinations for free holidays,
0:05:43 > 0:05:47interviewing Royal Family look-a-likes cos it's less hassle,
0:05:47 > 0:05:51and stealing local jobs from unsuspecting, smiley men.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54At least the fame hasn't gone to his head.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Just keep massaging.
0:05:56 > 0:06:00OK, I'm going to be doing this, but we're out of time on BBC One.
0:06:00 > 0:06:01Oh, Ricardo!
0:06:01 > 0:06:04And that's all you need to know about Mr Boleto!
0:06:04 > 0:06:07What think ye of that, me old cocker?
0:06:07 > 0:06:09I'm not sure you checked your facts.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Ricky?
0:06:11 > 0:06:13What are facts?
0:06:13 > 0:06:18Facts are things that are true, that have actually happened.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20Oooooooooooooh!
0:06:20 > 0:06:21I don't get it.
0:06:21 > 0:06:25- Ricky Boleto, you present Newsround with Joe Tidy.- Yeah.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Is Joe tidy?
0:06:28 > 0:06:30He's not tidy, at all.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33- You present Newsround with Haley Cutts.- That's right.
0:06:33 > 0:06:37Does Haley ever make cuts to the show's budget?
0:06:37 > 0:06:40She doesn't, but she is from Blackpool.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43- I'm from Wigan! - She talks about Blackpool a lot.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46I never mention my home town, it's pathetic.
0:06:46 > 0:06:47I didn't think you did.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51You present Newsround with Ore Oduba, don't you?
0:06:51 > 0:06:55Does Ore ever Oduba?
0:06:55 > 0:06:58- That doesn't work. - It doesn't work, does it?
0:06:58 > 0:07:01Do you ever make up the news, like when you made up Europe?
0:07:01 > 0:07:03No, we never make up the news.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05It's always factually correct,
0:07:05 > 0:07:08or we'd be telling lies to the audience.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11What would happen if there was no news one day?
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Would you just do this...?
0:07:13 > 0:07:15HE WHISTLES
0:07:15 > 0:07:16HE POPS HIS LIPS
0:07:16 > 0:07:19No, we always find news...
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Whee! Whee! Whee!
0:07:21 > 0:07:24- Ang-nang-nang-nang... - No! We wouldn't do that!
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Haley might. I wouldn't.
0:07:26 > 0:07:30Do you remember when I was a presenter on Newsround?
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Hmm, not sure that's actually true.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34How soon we forget.
0:07:34 > 0:07:38Take a look at this with your eyes and face, cocker.
0:07:40 > 0:07:45Thousands have taken to the streets for this year's London Marathon.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47Ricky Boleto, is at the scene.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50Ricky, how many miles have you completed?
0:07:50 > 0:07:53I think about 23 miles? Is it?
0:07:53 > 0:07:55- I don't know, is it?- 22?
0:07:55 > 0:07:58Well, what is it? 23 or 22?
0:07:58 > 0:07:59Coming up to 23 miles...
0:07:59 > 0:08:01How long have you been running for?
0:08:01 > 0:08:02Four hours?
0:08:02 > 0:08:03- Is it?- I don't know.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05- What's wrong with you? - I'm confused.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08- You're telling me! - My legs ache...
0:08:08 > 0:08:11- Get over it!- I've had to stop and walk quite a bit...
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Oh, boo-hoo-hoo!
0:08:13 > 0:08:15I'm going to try and one run mile.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17You're going to what?
0:08:17 > 0:08:19I'm going to try and one run mile.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22"One run mile"? That doesn't even make sense!
0:08:22 > 0:08:24I can't even speak properly.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Ricky Boleto, I thank you.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32That isn't very fair, that's not how it happened.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35All right, you got me. Anyway, you know what?
0:08:35 > 0:08:38I wish the news would cheer up.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41I've decided you should jazz up your bulletins...
0:08:41 > 0:08:42with DANCE MUSIC!
0:08:42 > 0:08:46Get the glasses on, get all blinged up, cocker,
0:08:46 > 0:08:48cos I have prepped you some words to sing.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50All right, let's do this.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Do the news!
0:08:52 > 0:08:54MUSIC
0:08:54 > 0:08:55Here we go.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58# Here's the news, The news, the news
0:08:58 > 0:09:00# Here's the news The news, the news
0:09:00 > 0:09:01# Here's the news The news, the news
0:09:01 > 0:09:03# Here's the news The news, the news
0:09:03 > 0:09:05# That was the news The news, the news
0:09:05 > 0:09:07# That was the news The news, the news
0:09:07 > 0:09:09# That was the news The news, the news
0:09:09 > 0:09:11# That was the news, the news, the news,
0:09:11 > 0:09:13That was the news!
0:09:13 > 0:09:15That was the news.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Do you know what I thought of that?
0:09:18 > 0:09:20What?
0:09:20 > 0:09:21NEWSROUND CLOSING MUSIC
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Oh, that again?
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Seriously though, you've disgraced yourself! Ha ha!
0:09:26 > 0:09:28It's time for my bit now.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31Oh, no, Derek! Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
0:09:31 > 0:09:34Oh, yes, Hacker. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
0:09:34 > 0:09:38Cover your eyes and ears, Ricky. It'll be over soon.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43Hoo-hoo! It's Derek time!
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Hee-hee!
0:09:45 > 0:09:46Hello again!
0:09:46 > 0:09:49On today's show we haven't got time to show you the possum
0:09:49 > 0:09:54who thinks he can snowboard just because he's got a snazzy pullover.
0:10:04 > 0:10:08Or the guitarist who accidentally gave himself green fingers.
0:10:08 > 0:10:14SPINES PLUCK IN TUNE TO BACKING TRACK
0:10:14 > 0:10:18But we do have time to show you the monkey who got annoyed
0:10:18 > 0:10:20when his brother took the last banana. Hoo-hoo!
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Ey, what you doing? No!
0:10:25 > 0:10:29He's pushed him in the water! That's not nice, I'm not having that.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32Let's watch it again. Oh, right in!
0:10:32 > 0:10:37And that concludes another genuinely harrowing instalment of Derek Time.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40Back to you in the studio, Hacker.
0:10:40 > 0:10:41I'm telling you, Ricky.
0:10:41 > 0:10:45That man's a mess. I only keep him on cos I pay him peanuts.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48Well, pistachios, actually, but... Oh, hello!
0:10:48 > 0:10:52If you've just joined us, I'm here with Newsround's Richard Boleto.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54It's Riccardo!
0:10:54 > 0:10:57Ooh, that sounds exotic. Is it Scottish?
0:10:57 > 0:10:59No, it's not Scottish, it's Italian.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02Oh, Ricky. You're such an interesting character.
0:11:02 > 0:11:07It almost makes me want to sing a song about you. Cue the music!
0:11:07 > 0:11:10- BOING! - Hey-hey!- Hey-hey!
0:11:11 > 0:11:13You'll love this, Ricky. Are you ready?
0:11:13 > 0:11:15# There is a fella
0:11:15 > 0:11:16# A little fella
0:11:16 > 0:11:20# Who appears on my TV screen every day
0:11:20 > 0:11:23# Provides the nation with information
0:11:23 > 0:11:26# Delivered in a simple and straightforward way
0:11:26 > 0:11:30# He'll break a story of a sporting glory
0:11:30 > 0:11:34# Or a body-boarding cat in Colwyn Bay
0:11:34 > 0:11:36# Yes, he's a big-name news reporter
0:11:36 > 0:11:38- # But he's only two foot three - RICKY LAUGHS
0:11:38 > 0:11:40# He's trustworthy Clean and sturdy
0:11:40 > 0:11:42# And they call him Ricky B. #
0:11:42 > 0:11:43Yeah!
0:11:43 > 0:11:45# He meets his deadlines
0:11:45 > 0:11:47# To bring you headlines
0:11:47 > 0:11:50# About the latest on the EU dairy laws
0:11:50 > 0:11:54# Or showbiz gossip straight from Glossop
0:11:54 > 0:11:57# Where Lady Gaga's been caught wearing silly drawers
0:11:57 > 0:12:01# He's always highbrow Has one raised eyebrow
0:12:01 > 0:12:05# And his style of story-telling never bores
0:12:05 > 0:12:09# Yes, he's a big name news reporter But he's only two foot three
0:12:09 > 0:12:13# He's trustworthy, clean and sturdy and they call him Ricky B. #
0:12:13 > 0:12:14I like it!
0:12:15 > 0:12:17# Yes, that name was Ricky B. #
0:12:17 > 0:12:18Ooh, yes.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21APPLAUSE Bravo, Hacker. Bravo.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Ey, what do you think to that then, cocker?
0:12:23 > 0:12:26Best thing ever. Go on a TV talent show.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28- Aw, Ricky Boleto!- Brilliant.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30Thank you. I thank you.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32NEWSROUND JINGLE PLAYS
0:12:32 > 0:12:37Hey-hey! That's all right, isn't it? Doesn't get boring, does it?
0:12:37 > 0:12:39Right, right! I've had it with this show.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41You know what this means, don't you?
0:12:41 > 0:12:43We're going to watch it again on catch-up?
0:12:43 > 0:12:46No, no, no! We're going to write a letter of complaint.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48- Now, take this down, please.- OK.
0:12:48 > 0:12:53Ahem! "Dear the BBC, please pull the plug on Hacker Time.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56"He's damaging the integrity of one of this country's
0:12:56 > 0:12:57"most beloved journalists.
0:12:57 > 0:13:03"I find this so disturbing it's making my face damp with sadness."
0:13:03 > 0:13:05- Did you get all of that, Benjamin? - Sure did, Frank.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Ah, good. Now, go and post it.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10- Oh, and don't forget to stamp it. - Do what, Frank?
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Stamp it. Stamp the letter.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14Well, if you say so, Frank.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24Treading on words is fun, Frank! Ha-ha!
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Uh, Benjamin!
0:13:26 > 0:13:27Did you hear something, Hacker?
0:13:27 > 0:13:28Was it this?
0:13:28 > 0:13:31NEWSROUND JINGLE
0:13:31 > 0:13:35No. It wasn't that. It sounded like cockroaches or something.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Oh yeah, this place is infested.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40You're probably going to go home today riddled with disease!
0:13:40 > 0:13:42- Eurgh.- Hahahaha!
0:13:42 > 0:13:48CLOCK TICKS
0:13:48 > 0:13:51NEWSROUND JINGLE
0:13:51 > 0:13:54Here's what's coming up in the programme.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Still to come today...
0:13:56 > 0:13:58Ricky's getting rowdy.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01Sherlock's getting saucy.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04And there's a robo-dog on the loose.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Don't go anywhere!
0:14:07 > 0:14:08Ricky Boleto.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11- Yeah?- When you do that Newsround programme of yours,
0:14:11 > 0:14:14you're always reporting on the latest gadgets and inventions...
0:14:14 > 0:14:16What's been your favourite one?
0:14:16 > 0:14:20I don't know, one of those generic touch screen tablets.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23Ooh, that's good! Well, if you're such an expert on technology,
0:14:23 > 0:14:25invent something for me now,
0:14:25 > 0:14:26- go on!- What?
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Come on, I'm waiting, Ricky.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30I can't just come up with something like that.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33You're rubbish... I'm going to have to find someone who can...
0:14:33 > 0:14:36You never know, I might even rip off a popular TV format
0:14:36 > 0:14:38while I'm at it!
0:14:38 > 0:14:39Good day to you, young fellow!
0:14:39 > 0:14:40Good day.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42Here we go!
0:14:57 > 0:14:59Y'all right team?
0:14:59 > 0:15:00ALL: Hi Hacker!
0:15:00 > 0:15:04Do you lot think you could teach me how to become an inventor?
0:15:04 > 0:15:05ALL: Yeah.
0:15:05 > 0:15:10Then snap to it! And commit your dreams to paper.
0:15:19 > 0:15:20It's only me.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22I've dressed myself up as a low-budget dragon,
0:15:22 > 0:15:25which I'm sure is the same thing they do on that programme about
0:15:25 > 0:15:27dragons in dens or something!
0:15:27 > 0:15:31Right, so tell me about your invention.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34As you can see it says TV Watch. Starts off as a watch and then
0:15:34 > 0:15:36It turns into a TV.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38So you could watch Hacker Time on that watch?
0:15:38 > 0:15:40- Yeah.- I am in!
0:15:40 > 0:15:45It's called the Edible Banana Phone MP3 player.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Is it compatible with the Edible Melon DVD Player?
0:15:48 > 0:15:49Nah.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Oh, well, in that case, I'm in!
0:15:52 > 0:15:56I have the Drive Through Doggy Groomer, on wheels.
0:15:56 > 0:16:01Perfect for you. The tap gets you all wet and then you do shampoo
0:16:01 > 0:16:05and conditioner there, you rinse, blow dry, brush and style.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07And you go out feeling all happy.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Will that sort out my split ends?
0:16:10 > 0:16:11Yeah.
0:16:11 > 0:16:12I'm in!
0:16:12 > 0:16:15What's your one?
0:16:15 > 0:16:17The Jar Of Trumps Juke Box.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20You collect your jar of trumps, you select the song and it
0:16:20 > 0:16:21makes a tune.
0:16:21 > 0:16:25Fantastic! But I'm afraid to say, I'm out!
0:16:25 > 0:16:26HE TRUMPS
0:16:26 > 0:16:27Aw!
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Ugh! And so is that!
0:16:30 > 0:16:32What's your one?
0:16:32 > 0:16:34Mine's the Foodatron.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37It's basically a remote control that shoots out food.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40Hold on, I don't need one of them, I've already got a remote control
0:16:40 > 0:16:43and when I press it there's always a cooking programme on TV.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45- I'm out!- OK.
0:16:45 > 0:16:46What's your one?
0:16:46 > 0:16:48The Breakfast Machine.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51Every time you wake up there'll be nice, warm toast, tea and a scone
0:16:51 > 0:16:52on your lap.
0:16:52 > 0:16:56But it'll get all over my duvet! I'm out!
0:16:57 > 0:17:02After consideration, I have decided to invest in Andrew's invention.
0:17:02 > 0:17:07Andrew, here is your investment, go ahead and be a success, like I am.
0:17:10 > 0:17:15There are some bones, a banana... and a quill.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21So, what have we learned today?
0:17:21 > 0:17:25Number one, the brain is amazing and capable of lots of top-notch things.
0:17:25 > 0:17:30Number two, ha-ha, number two!
0:17:31 > 0:17:35And number three, there's a smudge on my flip chart!
0:17:35 > 0:17:40Who left that there? I am rather furious!
0:17:40 > 0:17:43Cheers for all your help, cockers, ta-ta!
0:17:43 > 0:17:45ALL: See you!
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Now I must get back to the studio!
0:17:47 > 0:17:50They must be having a really dreary time without me there.
0:17:53 > 0:17:59ALL: Oh hokey cokey cokey!
0:17:59 > 0:18:02ALL: Knees bend, arms stretch, ra-ra-ra!
0:18:02 > 0:18:04# Right leg in, right leg out... #
0:18:04 > 0:18:07HACHER: OH!
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Hold on a minute, stop the music!
0:18:09 > 0:18:12Stop the lights! What in the name of a comically-shaped turnip
0:18:12 > 0:18:14is going on in here?
0:18:14 > 0:18:17- You're not supposed to have fun here without me! Ricky?- Yeah?
0:18:17 > 0:18:19I bet you're used to dealing with unexpected things like this,
0:18:19 > 0:18:21when you present the news, aren't you?
0:18:21 > 0:18:25Always, always, but nothing as bananas as this fruity lot.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27No Bananas, just a lemon, Ricky!
0:18:27 > 0:18:31Oh! I just hope you deal with it better than these mooeys.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Run the howlers, Derek!
0:18:35 > 0:18:39Now what's this here, like? Is this the news or something?
0:18:39 > 0:18:43What are they dancing for? That's not serious journalism, son!
0:18:44 > 0:18:45Blow through your nose.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47- Through your nose. - Your ears should pop.
0:18:47 > 0:18:48Your ears should pop.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Oh! Excuse me!
0:18:50 > 0:18:52Oh! She's got trouser wind!!!
0:18:52 > 0:18:54...It's very, very heavy...
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Is that a mechanical skateboard?
0:18:57 > 0:18:58Oh, oh, oh no!
0:18:58 > 0:19:01He's connected with the... laminate flooring!
0:19:03 > 0:19:07That dog's running off with... Where's he bin? Where's he BIN!
0:19:07 > 0:19:10Ha-ha, ha-ha, he's running away. The council will be livid!
0:19:10 > 0:19:13You would expect nothing less from a Scouse manager.
0:19:13 > 0:19:14Yeah, exactly, yeah.
0:19:14 > 0:19:15Oh, he's fallen!
0:19:15 > 0:19:18Oh, be careful. Who's this now? What's she...?
0:19:18 > 0:19:21That was all was going to happen, love!
0:19:24 > 0:19:27Haha! General silliness there...
0:19:27 > 0:19:29What did you think of that, Ricky?
0:19:29 > 0:19:31It'll never happen to me. I'm a professional.
0:19:31 > 0:19:35Now, Ricky, you ARE a professional, unlike that bunch of mooeys.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37Do you think you could help me fulfil my dream
0:19:37 > 0:19:40of being a proper news reporter just like what you is?
0:19:40 > 0:19:44Absolutely. I'll make it my aim.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44In that case, it's time for this!
0:19:44 > 0:19:47NEWSROUND JINGLE PLAYS
0:19:47 > 0:19:49D'ya geddit, Ricky? "Newshound"...
0:19:49 > 0:19:52"Hound" - cos I'm a tiny little dog, aren't I!
0:19:52 > 0:19:53Yeah, I get it.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Now, here's what we'll do, Ricky -
0:19:55 > 0:19:58you'll be the main presenter in the studio
0:19:58 > 0:20:01and I'll be reporting from location via a live video link-up.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03Now, I'll just pop over there -
0:20:03 > 0:20:05and you ask me the questions I've given you, all right?
0:20:05 > 0:20:07OK, let's do it.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10And be careful, cos there might be a time delay!
0:20:10 > 0:20:13Off you go, cocker!
0:20:13 > 0:20:15NEWSROUND JINGLE PLAYS
0:20:15 > 0:20:17We can now cross live to Hacker T Dog,
0:20:17 > 0:20:20who is at one of the biggest music festivals in Britain....
0:20:20 > 0:20:21Hacker, over to you.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23SILENCE
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Er... Hacker, are you OK?
0:20:25 > 0:20:26Oh, hello, Ricky!
0:20:26 > 0:20:29Hacker, you seem a little bit confused.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31Well, I'm fairly well, but I mustn't grumble.
0:20:31 > 0:20:32What can you tell me?
0:20:32 > 0:20:35I AM confused!
0:20:35 > 0:20:38- What's going on? - Ricky, I was right -
0:20:38 > 0:20:41There seems to be a one-question delay on my answers.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44Just go with it, cockers, no-one will notice.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47All right. If you say so...
0:20:47 > 0:20:50So, Hacker, can you tell me what the atmosphere's like down there?
0:20:50 > 0:20:54Um, can you tell me how many people are at the festival?
0:20:54 > 0:20:58It's lovely - everyone seems to be enjoying themselves.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Um, doesn't really make sense, Hacker.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03How would you describe the weather?
0:21:03 > 0:21:06About 150,000.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09And are you feeling OK in yourself?
0:21:09 > 0:21:11Awfully windy! Ooh, yes!
0:21:11 > 0:21:13What can you see directly in front of you?
0:21:13 > 0:21:17Well, I've got a very painful spot on the end of my nose.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20And are there any celebrities there at all?
0:21:20 > 0:21:22Um...I can only see a mop at the moment.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Oh, and some drawing pins!
0:21:24 > 0:21:28The question on everyone's lips is - "What do the toilets smell like?"
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Justin Bieber and all of One Direction.
0:21:30 > 0:21:34Urgh! OK, and what have you had to eat?
0:21:34 > 0:21:37Rotten eggs. I think it's because someone forgot to flush.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Hacker, who's next on the main stage?
0:21:39 > 0:21:41A roasted leg of lamb.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Sounds a bit strange...
0:21:43 > 0:21:45Talking of which, have you met any strange people today?
0:21:45 > 0:21:46Jedward!
0:21:46 > 0:21:51Right, OK. Hacker, how would you describe today's event in a nutshell?
0:21:51 > 0:21:52Well, there was a strange woman
0:21:52 > 0:21:55who lost a very personal item of clothing!
0:21:55 > 0:21:56Ooh, yes, it was quite personal!
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Oh, dear. What did she lose?
0:21:58 > 0:21:59It's difficult to describe,
0:21:59 > 0:22:02but I'd say the whole thing is massive...
0:22:02 > 0:22:03and getting muddier by the minute!
0:22:03 > 0:22:06And what did she have to say about that?
0:22:06 > 0:22:08- Knickers!- Knickers?!
0:22:08 > 0:22:11This is utter nonsense. None of this is making sense.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14Do you know what? I think I've had enough! I'm off.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16She said she was very upset about the incident,
0:22:16 > 0:22:19and she'll be investing in stronger elastic in the future.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22Textbook, Ricky! Textbook!
0:22:22 > 0:22:25I don't think anyone noticed the one-question delay business.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28Oh, he's gone... Here's Sherlock Bones.
0:22:28 > 0:22:32It was a fine day in the town of Teapot, and love was in the air.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35Or is that the smell of sewage?! It stinks!
0:22:35 > 0:22:39Ah, Mrs Do, it's lovely to spend some quality time with you
0:22:39 > 0:22:42and, may I say, you look ravishing this evening.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44- Mr Bit...- I don't think I have.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46No, MISTER Bit, I want to ask you something.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49- Why are we...?- Playing cards in an abandoned fairground?
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Why else? I don't want Sherlock Bones interrupting.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55He wouldn't dare mess with me. Now, come here, darling.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57Stop right there, Mr Bit,
0:22:57 > 0:23:00for you are under arrest for being an criminal.
0:23:00 > 0:23:04- I haven't done anything wrong. - That's never mattered to me before.
0:23:20 > 0:23:21Sherlock, what are you doing here?!
0:23:21 > 0:23:25I'm here to check that you're not committing any crimes.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Pretend I'm not here, for I am undercover.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29You're not, you're dressed as a cake!
0:23:29 > 0:23:33- YOU'RE dressed as a cake! - Look, will you please go away?!
0:23:33 > 0:23:35Trying to woo a woman is not a crime!
0:23:35 > 0:23:37Yeah, that's true, isn't it?
0:23:37 > 0:23:41But when you do finally commit a terrible crime, I'll be here,
0:23:41 > 0:23:44waiting, in a more compelling disguise.
0:23:46 > 0:23:47Hello, boys!
0:23:47 > 0:23:51Don't mind me, I'm a lady going about her business.
0:23:51 > 0:23:55- Right, well, go away, then. - No, no, wait, she's... she's...
0:23:55 > 0:23:58ROMANTIC MUSIC
0:24:02 > 0:24:04..wonderful.
0:24:04 > 0:24:09But, Mr Bit, it's clearly Sherlock. You two deserve each other!
0:24:10 > 0:24:14But you took my breath away with your beauty!
0:24:14 > 0:24:18Oh, gosh, I'm confused. You've ruined my brain, Sherlock!
0:24:18 > 0:24:20So, are you ready to confess to your crimes, Mr Bit?
0:24:20 > 0:24:23I don't think I've committed any crimes!
0:24:23 > 0:24:27But then I do fancy you. I just don't know what's real any more!
0:24:27 > 0:24:30Oh, come on. I haven't caught anyone for ages.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32You must've done something wrong.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Tell me what it is and I could arrest you and lock you up.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37At which point, you'll never see anyone again.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39Not even me.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41Not even...you?
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Yes, whatever it is, I did it!
0:24:48 > 0:24:51I stole from everyone! I'm a criminal!
0:24:51 > 0:24:54Just get me away from Sherlock!
0:24:55 > 0:24:58I'm sure Mr Bit will be out of prison
0:24:58 > 0:25:00in time for the next episode...
0:25:00 > 0:25:02But, Hacker, why did that man fancy the dog?
0:25:02 > 0:25:04He's got issues.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Anyway, haven't we had a lovely time today?
0:25:06 > 0:25:08We have, we really have.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11Well, I think you should stick to breaking wind and not news.
0:25:11 > 0:25:15Hey, hey, that's an official Boleto gag there. Very good, young man.
0:25:15 > 0:25:16I'm afraid that's your lot,
0:25:16 > 0:25:18cos your mum's arrived to take you home!
0:25:18 > 0:25:21Oh, but MUM! I don't wanna go yet!
0:25:21 > 0:25:24Take her by the hand and be gone with you.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Oh, all right, then! See you later, Hacker!
0:25:26 > 0:25:30- Bye, Ricky. Bye, Ricky's mum. - Goodbye, dear.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32One of my favourite people in the world, there.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35And Ricky wasn't bad either, was he, eh?! Hahaha!
0:25:35 > 0:25:37Anyway, now he's out of my fur,
0:25:37 > 0:25:41I'm going to show you some of the best LOLs from around the world!
0:25:41 > 0:25:43It's time for...
0:25:43 > 0:25:46Hacker's Top Three News Howlers
0:25:46 > 0:25:48In at 3...
0:25:48 > 0:25:52Check this out! It's the world's smallest paper aeroplane...
0:25:52 > 0:25:55Awesome! Look at that!
0:25:55 > 0:25:57It's a tiny little aeroplane being folded from paper.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Oh, they are showing off, aren't they? What have you got?
0:26:00 > 0:26:03Have you got a tiny little airport with tiny little passengers
0:26:03 > 0:26:05and a tiny little duty-free?
0:26:07 > 0:26:12At 2, he's big, he's scary, he's Robodog!
0:26:12 > 0:26:14Oh, look at that robotty dog.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17It looks a bit like my uncle Harold, that.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19My uncle Harold was a robot dog.
0:26:20 > 0:26:21And at number 1,
0:26:21 > 0:26:24this invention's ideal for someone with loads of money
0:26:24 > 0:26:26and nil football skills...
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Look at this, you always win!
0:26:28 > 0:26:30You always... Well, you don't win.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32Hang on a minute, he's saving every goal.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34I bet I could get one past him -
0:26:34 > 0:26:36I'd just unplug it!
0:26:36 > 0:26:38Thank you for watching my show today.
0:26:38 > 0:26:42I think you'll find it has been entertaining and/or informative...
0:26:42 > 0:26:43in some ways.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45I'm off now, because I've got a man coming round
0:26:45 > 0:26:47to lay my wall-to-wall carpeting.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50All that's left for me to do is sing my song...
0:26:50 > 0:26:53Join in if you know the words - they're quite simple.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57# That is it for now The end of the show
0:26:57 > 0:27:00# I need the lav-lav so I'm going to go
0:27:00 > 0:27:02# I'll see you next time on this show of mine
0:27:02 > 0:27:05# Put it in your diary It's called Hacker Time!
0:27:05 > 0:27:07# It's been amazing We've been larking around
0:27:07 > 0:27:09# And we've been LOLing at some clips that I found
0:27:09 > 0:27:11# Watch again next time cos I've got much more
0:27:11 > 0:27:14# There'll be tons of other funny stuff, it will be top drawer!
0:27:14 > 0:27:16# Ricky Boleto of Newsround fame
0:27:16 > 0:27:19# Popped in and was my guest
0:27:19 > 0:27:21# We had a chat, we did some news
0:27:21 > 0:27:24# Then I told him to go away I thought it was for the best
0:27:24 > 0:27:26# That is it for now The end of the show
0:27:26 > 0:27:28# I need the lav-lav so I'm going to go
0:27:28 > 0:27:31# I'll see you next time on this show of mine
0:27:31 > 0:27:33# Put it in your diary It's called Hacker Time!
0:27:33 > 0:27:35# Put it in your diary, it's called Hacker Time!
0:27:35 > 0:27:38That is the end of today's Hacker Time!
0:27:38 > 0:27:41HE SINGS THE NEWSROUND JINGLE