0:00:04 > 0:00:06Hacker Time's back - just deal with it, people!
0:00:08 > 0:00:11So, it's our annual fancy dress party!
0:00:11 > 0:00:15Lolly, what a brilliant costume. You look awful, hideous!
0:00:15 > 0:00:16Who have you come as?
0:00:16 > 0:00:18- You.- Herman...
0:00:18 > 0:00:20What are you supposed to be?
0:00:20 > 0:00:24Well, when you said fancy dress BALL, I thought
0:00:24 > 0:00:27you meant a fancily-dressed BALL.
0:00:27 > 0:00:32It's all right, Herman, stop talking now. This isn't going well at all!
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Y'all right, cockers?
0:00:35 > 0:00:38Oh, Hacker, at least you've made a real effort!
0:00:40 > 0:00:42You look ridiculous!
0:00:42 > 0:00:45What? I've just been to play badminton.
0:00:45 > 0:00:49Oh! Looks like it's just me and Wilf making an effort again, then.
0:00:49 > 0:00:53Wilf, you've outdone yourself this year - so scary and lifelike.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57I not Wilf.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59THEY SCREAM
0:01:02 > 0:01:05MUSIC: "U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer
0:01:05 > 0:01:07# You gotta watch this
0:01:09 > 0:01:10# You gotta watch this!
0:01:12 > 0:01:15# You gotta watch this!
0:01:15 > 0:01:17# My...my...my...my...my
0:01:17 > 0:01:18# Aura hits you so hard
0:01:18 > 0:01:20# Makes me say, "Oh, my word!"
0:01:20 > 0:01:22# Thank you for watching me
0:01:22 > 0:01:24# It's telly but nobody notices
0:01:24 > 0:01:25# It feels good There's outtakes too
0:01:25 > 0:01:27# Coming in here
0:01:27 > 0:01:29# So sit back Don't move too much
0:01:29 > 0:01:32# This is the show that you can't catch.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34# So Hacker Time! #
0:01:34 > 0:01:35Thank you.
0:01:35 > 0:01:39OK, standby, everyone, we're on air in 5...
0:01:39 > 0:01:414...
0:01:41 > 0:01:423...
0:01:42 > 0:01:432...
0:01:43 > 0:01:451...
0:01:45 > 0:01:46Cue Hacker!
0:01:47 > 0:01:50Hello and welcome to Hacker Time!
0:01:50 > 0:01:54Today's show is all about the spooky CBBC drama Wolfblood!
0:01:54 > 0:02:00Which is why I've brought this... Mwahahahahaaaaa.
0:02:02 > 0:02:03Why, Hacker, why?
0:02:03 > 0:02:06You're weird, mate!
0:02:06 > 0:02:09What's wrong with starting a Wolfblood-themed show
0:02:09 > 0:02:11with a lovely, chilled bottle of...
0:02:13 > 0:02:15..tomato juice!
0:02:15 > 0:02:18My top-notch guest should be arriving any second now,
0:02:18 > 0:02:21although he doesn't reeeeally know that yet - mwahahahahahahaaaa!
0:02:21 > 0:02:26Got a bit of tomato juice caught in my throat.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Hi, I'm TV heart-throb, Bobby Lockwood, here to film Wolfblood.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33All right, son! Come with me, Lockwood. Get in the lift.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Do I get to be a heart-throb if I go that way?
0:02:35 > 0:02:39- Just do as you're told, son. - Are you sure?- Get in the lift.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45What! Argh! Help!
0:02:49 > 0:02:50Argh!!
0:02:50 > 0:02:54Ladies and gentlemen, it's Bobby Lockwood from Wolfblood!
0:02:54 > 0:02:58Huzzah! Bobby, you're my guest on today's show!
0:02:58 > 0:03:01What?! No, no, I'm not.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03I've been warned about this, I'm going home.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06No! You can't go. I've got... er...tomato juice for you.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09And I'll put one of those little umbrellas in it if you like.
0:03:09 > 0:03:10Oh, go on, then!
0:03:10 > 0:03:12Hurrah! Let's see the fact file...
0:03:12 > 0:03:14because I have no idea who you are.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Bobby Lockwood is an award-winning actor
0:03:19 > 0:03:22who is most famous for appearing on CBBC's Wolfblood.
0:03:22 > 0:03:26In the show, he plays Rhydian Morris, who is a wolfblood,
0:03:26 > 0:03:29which means he can turn into a wolf. Oh, look!
0:03:29 > 0:03:32He also likes to stare handsomely into the distance a lot
0:03:32 > 0:03:35and gets angry for no apparent reason. Calm down, Bobby!
0:03:35 > 0:03:37You've got a BAFTA, you know.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41And that's not all you need to know about Bobby Lockwood.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44Oh, I doooooooooooooooooo know who you are, Bobby.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Bobby?
0:03:46 > 0:03:50What the budgies?! Why-aye!
0:03:52 > 0:03:55You know, I was so pleased when you won the BAFTA!
0:03:55 > 0:03:57It's great to have you in the club!
0:03:57 > 0:04:00I was so impressed with your anecdote in your acceptance speech
0:04:00 > 0:04:03for Best Performance By An Illuminous Pink Actor.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05It was genius.
0:04:05 > 0:04:09Hey...Herman, I've got an acceptance speech for you.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11I accept your resignation.
0:04:11 > 0:04:12But I haven't resigned!
0:04:12 > 0:04:16I don't care - you're fired! Now get out of here!
0:04:16 > 0:04:18See you in a bit, Bobby BAFTA.
0:04:18 > 0:04:19No, you won't.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21On with the show.
0:04:21 > 0:04:22Larry, the menu!
0:04:23 > 0:04:27Today's Hacker Time is sure to be award-winning,
0:04:27 > 0:04:30mainly because of Bobby Lockwood and not Hacker T Dog.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32Coming up:
0:04:32 > 0:04:35Hacker wows Bobby with his interview technique.
0:04:35 > 0:04:36BREAKS WIND
0:04:36 > 0:04:39We go back in time for a brand new medieval romp -
0:04:39 > 0:04:41A Knight's Tail.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43And would you order this pizza?
0:04:43 > 0:04:46All this and more on Hacker Time!
0:04:46 > 0:04:50Bobby Lockwood, are you ready for a proper, professional interview?
0:04:50 > 0:04:52As ready as I'll ever be.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55First question: you're in Wolfblood.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58- Why are you always so miserable and moody?- I'm not moody!
0:04:58 > 0:05:00- What are you talking about? - You're always moody! Look!
0:05:00 > 0:05:04- No, I'm not!- Here's evidence of your moody, miserable woeful chops.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Look at the state of that.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08All right, my chops are quite moody there.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10- Moody chops!- A little bit.
0:05:10 > 0:05:11Wilf's always dead moody, too -
0:05:11 > 0:05:15in his popular drama series, Wilfblood. Have a look.
0:05:19 > 0:05:24Oh! Ooh...it's bleeding. It's bleeding!
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Powerful stuff, I'm sure you'd agree.
0:05:26 > 0:05:30Moving on, when watching Wolfblood I've always wanted to know,
0:05:30 > 0:05:33where do your clothes go when you morph into a wolf?
0:05:33 > 0:05:35I don't know.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37I mean, who'd go on TV in the altogether?!
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Ooh, me privets!
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Lockwood, don't look!
0:05:41 > 0:05:44- Don't look at my private!- I won't!
0:05:44 > 0:05:47Now, there's lots of scary stuff in Wolfblood,
0:05:47 > 0:05:49but what's the scariest thing you've ever seen?
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Apart from my privets, of course.
0:05:52 > 0:05:57- I don't know. I don't like owls. - What's wrong with owls?
0:05:57 > 0:06:00I once had to hold one.
0:06:00 > 0:06:01It literally reduced me to tears.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03You don't like owls?
0:06:03 > 0:06:08But Bobby, they can turn their heads 270 degrees! Fact!
0:06:08 > 0:06:09Robert Lockwood,
0:06:09 > 0:06:13what's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened on set?
0:06:13 > 0:06:17Apart from the falling over that happens pretty much every time
0:06:17 > 0:06:22I run, I did once before a take let out a little bottom burp
0:06:22 > 0:06:25and Amy wasn't that impressed.
0:06:25 > 0:06:29Trumping!? That's disgusting!
0:06:29 > 0:06:32I'm far too professional to do that on set.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35BREAKS WIND
0:06:35 > 0:06:38I mean, it's just rude, unhygienic... Do it in your own time,
0:06:38 > 0:06:43yes, but not around special guests like yourself, Bobby.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46CONTINUES TO BREAK WIND
0:06:46 > 0:06:49Sorry - did you say something?
0:06:51 > 0:06:55Oh, Bobby, do you remember that time I was in Wolfblood?
0:06:55 > 0:06:57No!
0:06:57 > 0:07:01Well, I was. Peer at it with your goose's face.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04MUSIC PLAYS
0:07:16 > 0:07:21Ooh! Well, more of an audience for my bit of flute-playing, eh, cocker?
0:07:24 > 0:07:28Hang on a minute - you're ruining my piece!
0:07:28 > 0:07:31THEY HOWL
0:07:33 > 0:07:35You as well. Stop it!
0:07:37 > 0:07:38Thoughts?
0:07:38 > 0:07:42That was amazing. I think you've almost improved it.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46I am top drawer, Lockwood, as well you know.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49- Now, Bobby, you're a keen football fan, aren't ya?- Yes.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51Who do you support?
0:07:51 > 0:07:52Tottenham Hotspur.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Oh, that's disappointing.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57I had a whole routine planned about you supporting...
0:07:57 > 0:07:59Wolves!
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Why would I say Wolves?
0:08:02 > 0:08:05You're in Wolfblood, aren't you?
0:08:05 > 0:08:07So shall we do it again?
0:08:07 > 0:08:10When I ask, what football team do you support,
0:08:10 > 0:08:14you say Wolves, cos you're from Wolfblood, right?
0:08:14 > 0:08:19- Do I have to?- It's basic comedy, this.- OK. OK.- Right.
0:08:19 > 0:08:24Now, Bobby, which football team do you support?
0:08:24 > 0:08:25Wolves.
0:08:32 > 0:08:36Yeah. Not very funny second time round, is it?
0:08:36 > 0:08:38Next question. Let's talk awards.
0:08:38 > 0:08:43You've won a BAFTA for best performer in 2013. Was that good?
0:08:43 > 0:08:47It was amazing. Actually, I have it here with me.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50You know, I just carry it round everywhere I go.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53Seriously, well done on the award.
0:08:53 > 0:08:57I mean, I was up for the same award, wasn't I, but I didn't win it,
0:08:57 > 0:08:59but no hard feelings, eh, Bobby?
0:08:59 > 0:09:00Hm.
0:09:00 > 0:09:04Now Bobby, tell us all about your fantastic character Rhydian
0:09:04 > 0:09:09- in Wolfblood.- Where to start? One, well, I love playing Rhydian.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13He's awesome. He had a very troubled childhood.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16It was tough for him, but I think things are starting to get better.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18He's found a good group of friends.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21He's starting to work hard in school.
0:09:21 > 0:09:26- Hacker, where's my award? - It's here, look.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28That is not my award. Look at it!
0:09:28 > 0:09:30What are you doing?
0:09:30 > 0:09:34Doh! I was only going to borrow it for a very long time!
0:09:34 > 0:09:37- You can't just do things like that, OK? It's my award.- All right.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41So you've won it and I didn't. To be honest, I'm a bit livid about it.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44I had a speech prepared and everything. DO you want to hear it?
0:09:44 > 0:09:47- No, not really.- Well, it's tough. I've got it here, prepared.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50- Really? Do we have to do this? - Yes, we do.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53I'm so glad I beat Bobby Lockwood off that Wolfblood.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56I'd only have that man on my show if he was the last person on Earth.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59He's a disgrace, albeit a handsome disgrace,
0:09:59 > 0:10:01but a disgrace nonetheless.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04I would say thank you to the Hacker Time crew while I'm here,
0:10:04 > 0:10:07but the truth is they're as useless as Bobby Lockwood.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09- Hey!- Ooh!- The nerve!
0:10:09 > 0:10:12PS - I still don't like Bobby Lockwood.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Oh. This is awkward.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Larry, what's up next?
0:10:18 > 0:10:23Time now for our new historical and hysterical medieval drama,
0:10:23 > 0:10:25A Knight's Tail.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47'Friday in Trumpalot, and something was in the air.'
0:10:49 > 0:10:51FARTING
0:10:51 > 0:10:52- Hm? - SNIFFS
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Oh! Excuse me!
0:10:56 > 0:10:58Send in my knights.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02Y'all right, ye olde cockers?
0:11:02 > 0:11:05I trust you know of my daughter,
0:11:05 > 0:11:07the stunning Princess Beauticia.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09Oh!
0:11:10 > 0:11:13Why is her face made of cloth?
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Fool! Tis a veil that she wears.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20Legend has it that man may not look upon her face
0:11:20 > 0:11:22lest they should die of shock from her beauty.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24Tis true.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27And now I must marry off my daughter to one of my most gallant
0:11:27 > 0:11:31and noble knights, but seeing as they're all on holiday in Benidorm,
0:11:31 > 0:11:34one of you will have to do.
0:11:35 > 0:11:41'And so it was that the Queen pitted knight against knight.'
0:11:41 > 0:11:45You must fight each other using these deadly weapons.
0:11:46 > 0:11:47Hm.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52The Royal...
0:11:52 > 0:11:54sausages?!
0:12:01 > 0:12:03THEY GRUNT
0:12:05 > 0:12:08No, not the face! Not the face!
0:12:17 > 0:12:22The man who marries my daughter must have excellent table manners.
0:12:22 > 0:12:26Your Majesty, I have an extensive knowledge of banquet etiquette.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Follow me.
0:12:28 > 0:12:33A selection of knives, a spoon, then we have meat fork, salad fork,
0:12:33 > 0:12:36fish fork, aubergine fork, slightly bigger aubergine fork,
0:12:36 > 0:12:38roast potato fork, mashed potato fork, jacket potato fork,
0:12:38 > 0:12:41fork that you use for poking holes in the tops of ready meals,
0:12:41 > 0:12:44trifle ladle, melon saw, horseshoe, pencil case full of hair
0:12:44 > 0:12:47and a framed photograph of the popular Barney Harwood.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Very good, Sir Cumference.
0:12:49 > 0:12:53And what are your table manners like, Sir Loinsteak?
0:12:56 > 0:12:58BIG BURP
0:13:00 > 0:13:04Finally, my daughter's future husband shall be the strongest
0:13:04 > 0:13:06knight in all the land.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Ooh, not a problem, love.
0:13:09 > 0:13:14Lift with your legs, mate, or you'll bruise your coccyx.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Now catch.
0:13:19 > 0:13:24I really rather thinking Her Majesty was thinking more along these lines.
0:13:30 > 0:13:35Very impressive, but I actually wanted to get the top off this.
0:13:35 > 0:13:36Oh!
0:13:36 > 0:13:38You only have to ask, Your Majesty.
0:13:43 > 0:13:47Oh, you're doing it wrong! Give it here. Come on.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51First of all, what you really need to do is give it a good shake.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59- That does it! - Did I do something wrong?
0:13:59 > 0:14:03That means you, Sir Cumference, shall marry the Princess Beauticia.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10My darling.
0:14:12 > 0:14:16The time has finally come to gaze upon your delicate features.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19GASPS
0:14:19 > 0:14:21Hello, handsome!
0:14:21 > 0:14:22Ah!
0:14:23 > 0:14:25I'm going to be sick!
0:14:29 > 0:14:35Oh, I just don't believe it! You're even more beautiful than they said.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38Fancy a bag of chips, love?
0:14:38 > 0:14:41Only if you're paying, darling.
0:14:41 > 0:14:46- Loinsteak!- What am I like?!
0:14:50 > 0:14:53- Terrific stuff there! - Award-winning, I reckon.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55All right, don't rub it in, Lockwood.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57I tell you should be award-winning - the Hacker Time fans!
0:14:57 > 0:15:00They're always getting in touch. In fact, I've got a whole section
0:15:00 > 0:15:03dedicated to their comments and feedback right now.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Welcome to the Opinion Parlour,
0:15:05 > 0:15:09the section of the show where we hear from you, the viewer.
0:15:09 > 0:15:13- Don't you mean viewers?- No, there's only one.- Oh, yeah. Ha-ha!
0:15:13 > 0:15:17Well, in honour of Bobby Lockwood from Wolfblood, we've been asking
0:15:17 > 0:15:21you, what's your most dramatic thing that has happened in your life?
0:15:21 > 0:15:25Anne from Eccles says she's broken her arm.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28- Aww!- Which she's fine with, but she can't reach the remote,
0:15:28 > 0:15:31to turn off Hacker Time! Oh, poor you, Anne.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Also, we've been asking you
0:15:33 > 0:15:36if you spotted any bizarre or mysterious sightings.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40Colin from Broadbottom says he spotted Steve Backshall's face
0:15:40 > 0:15:43- in his pepperoni pizza. - Ohh!
0:15:43 > 0:15:45THEY GROAN
0:15:45 > 0:15:46If you've got any comments for us
0:15:46 > 0:15:50here at the Hacker Time studios, we'd love to hear from you.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53Write to us at the usual address. Hacker Time...
0:15:55 > 0:15:59Er...and that's all from the us here at the Opinion Parlour.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01I'm sure there was more to it than that!
0:16:01 > 0:16:03I didn't see it, I didn't see it.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06Utter rubbish. I don't know what them two actually do!
0:16:06 > 0:16:10Now, Bobby Lockwood - a lot of people have started
0:16:10 > 0:16:13talking about me, saying some nasty things...
0:16:13 > 0:16:15- Really?- Really!
0:16:15 > 0:16:19People say I'm mean...people say I'm unkind...people say that I'm
0:16:19 > 0:16:22some sort of...monster!
0:16:22 > 0:16:26Hello, my agent. Yeah, I'm there now.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29He's been doing my head in. He is an absolute monster to work with, I...
0:16:29 > 0:16:33Hey, hey! I'm not a monster, honestly!
0:16:33 > 0:16:36I shall explain, via the medium of song.
0:16:38 > 0:16:39ROCK 'N' ROLL MUSIC
0:16:39 > 0:16:42# I may get angry, I may get in a mood
0:16:42 > 0:16:45# I'm not that bad, but that's how I'm viewed
0:16:45 > 0:16:48# I ain't no werewolf, but I've lots of hair
0:16:48 > 0:16:52# Don't look under your bed cos I'm not there
0:16:52 > 0:16:54# I'm not a monster
0:16:54 > 0:16:56# I'm just a dawg
0:16:56 > 0:16:57# He's just a dawg
0:16:59 > 0:17:02# People say I'm scary, I go too far
0:17:02 > 0:17:05# But I haven't got fangs like Dracula
0:17:05 > 0:17:08# I don't come out at night, I ain't no ghoul
0:17:08 > 0:17:11# I ain't no zombie, although I drool
0:17:11 > 0:17:13# I'm not a monster
0:17:13 > 0:17:15# I'm just a dawg
0:17:15 > 0:17:17# He's just a dawg
0:17:18 > 0:17:21# I ain't no bogeyman, though I must confess
0:17:21 > 0:17:24# I do have bogies, I'm a bit of a mess
0:17:24 > 0:17:27# I go lav-lav all over the floor
0:17:27 > 0:17:31# Hang on, I am a monster, I'm evil to the core!
0:17:31 > 0:17:33# I am a monster
0:17:33 > 0:17:35# I'm Hacker T Dog
0:17:35 > 0:17:37# He's Hacker T Dog
0:17:37 > 0:17:40# Yeah! #
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Thoughts?
0:17:42 > 0:17:45Well, I mean, I love the song, but you've disproved your point,
0:17:45 > 0:17:49- you were literally calling yourself a monster.- Was I?
0:17:49 > 0:17:53- You were screaming it at the top of your lungs.- I'm a monster!
0:17:53 > 0:17:55- I'M A MONSTER! - HE SOBS
0:17:56 > 0:18:00- Over to you, Larry.- It's OK, mate, it's all right, it's OK.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02The other ear.
0:18:02 > 0:18:03Oh, OK.
0:18:03 > 0:18:07There's loads more to come on today's Hacker Time.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Derek's photo album gets in the wrong hands...
0:18:10 > 0:18:11There's Derek McGee on his potty!
0:18:11 > 0:18:16- Bobby receives an acting masterclass...- Oh, come on, Hacker!
0:18:16 > 0:18:18Keep reading!
0:18:18 > 0:18:21And check out an explosive Quarter Past Four O'clock Club.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25All still to come on Hacker Time!
0:18:25 > 0:18:29I often get asked, who are my inspirations and influences?
0:18:29 > 0:18:32Well, to be honest, there is no-one, cocker, I'm just that talented
0:18:32 > 0:18:35and unique myself. I mean, there was one...
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Oh, be quiet, Hacker!
0:18:37 > 0:18:42Oh, just get Bobby Lockwood back on my screen!
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Oh, like him, do you?
0:18:44 > 0:18:48Bobby Lockwood? Course! Me and him are BFFs!
0:18:48 > 0:18:51- Look, here's a selfie of us two.- Fancy!
0:18:51 > 0:18:55- Have you got any good photos, Derek?- Oh, no.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58Me mother keeps them all in one of those massive photo albums,
0:18:58 > 0:19:00but I'm never going to let you see them.
0:19:00 > 0:19:06Derek! I've brought your massive photo album in for everyone to see.
0:19:07 > 0:19:12Oh, what a stroke of luck, Derek's Mum! Come on, let's have a look.
0:19:13 > 0:19:17There's Derek McGee on his potty!
0:19:17 > 0:19:21There's Derek McGee having a bedtime story read to him.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24And look, there's Derek McGee in his nappy!
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Oh, Derek, these are the most embarrassing baby photos
0:19:29 > 0:19:34- I've ever seen! - Who said anything about baby photos?
0:19:34 > 0:19:37They were taken last week! Oooh!
0:19:37 > 0:19:39Mother! You forgot to burp me!
0:19:39 > 0:19:41HE BELCHES
0:19:41 > 0:19:43Oh, my goodness!
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for everyone's favourite
0:19:47 > 0:19:49canine-based CBBC drama.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52I-i-i-it's Woofblood!
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Just read the script, cockers. It's dead dramatic and that.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57I wrote it myself. You'll love it.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Action!
0:20:02 > 0:20:05What am I gonna do now that I have lost the love of my life
0:20:05 > 0:20:08and only Woofblood friend, Maddy?
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Ooh, Bobby, haven't you heard?
0:20:10 > 0:20:13A Woofblood has been spotted in the area.
0:20:13 > 0:20:14Maddy's back...
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Back?
0:20:16 > 0:20:19..is very spotty, did you ever see it? Ergh!
0:20:19 > 0:20:22Seriously though. Maddy's returned...
0:20:22 > 0:20:23Returned?
0:20:23 > 0:20:26..a library book on how to get rid of a spotty back.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28It's quite useful actually. I might get it out next.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31Shannon, have you actually seen a new Woofblood?
0:20:31 > 0:20:35Yes! In fact...look! I think I see a wolf!
0:20:35 > 0:20:36Really?
0:20:37 > 0:20:41- Hello.- Oh, no, it's just WILF.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43I'm always getting my O's and I's mixed up.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46Get out, Wilf Breadbin, you're ruining this.
0:20:46 > 0:20:47Charming!
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Hacker, this sketch is a load of rubbish!
0:20:49 > 0:20:52Stick with it, it'll get better. Let's do Scene 2.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54Read the next bit.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00Will I ever find my one and only, true Woofblood?
0:21:00 > 0:21:03Bobby, what was that? Sounds like a wolf!
0:21:03 > 0:21:04Really?
0:21:04 > 0:21:08Oh, no. It's just Derek McGee in pain.
0:21:08 > 0:21:14Ohh! Ohh, me head, me head! I've got a splitting headache...
0:21:14 > 0:21:17from howling like a wolf so much!
0:21:17 > 0:21:20- Well, stop then!- Oh, all right.
0:21:21 > 0:21:26It's gone, thanks, Bobby, ho-ho!
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Keep going, son.
0:21:28 > 0:21:29I'm never gonna find Maddy.
0:21:29 > 0:21:34I mean...I haven't seen, heard or even smelt a sign that...
0:21:34 > 0:21:36PFFT! What's that smell?
0:21:36 > 0:21:40It smells...different yet familiar...
0:21:40 > 0:21:42almost as if it's left its mark
0:21:42 > 0:21:45in the area...yes...it's a wolf!
0:21:45 > 0:21:48That ain't no wolf.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50HE BREAKS WIND
0:21:50 > 0:21:53Oh, Hacker, that was...
0:21:53 > 0:21:56This makes no sense. He's never even going to appear!
0:21:56 > 0:21:59Yeah, yeah, just stick with it, cocker. It'll be dead emotional.
0:21:59 > 0:22:00Rewriting the script.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03This is scene 3!
0:22:06 > 0:22:07Action!
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Oh, I wish Maddy would return.
0:22:09 > 0:22:15In fact, if she returned right now, I'd give her a big, sloppy kiss.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17- Ah, come on, Hacker!- Keep reading.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20This is ridiculous!
0:22:20 > 0:22:23Molly, you've got to help me. Hacker wants me
0:22:23 > 0:22:25to do this scene where I kiss him. Can you do something?
0:22:25 > 0:22:29Well, I will but only if you will kiss myself, heart-face!
0:22:29 > 0:22:32Hi, everyone, it's me, Maddy. I'm back!
0:22:32 > 0:22:34I've come to see
0:22:34 > 0:22:38my heart-throb boyfriend and fellow Wolfblood, Bobby.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41I think I deserve a reet old sloppy kiss!
0:22:41 > 0:22:44No, help! Molly wants to kiss me, too!
0:22:44 > 0:22:45Pucker up, son!
0:22:45 > 0:22:48Oi! He is mine!
0:22:48 > 0:22:50No, I'm going to kiss him first.
0:22:50 > 0:22:51- No, I am.- I will.
0:22:51 > 0:22:52- I am.- I will.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54- BOTH:- No, I am!
0:22:56 > 0:22:58- Ugh!- Ugh! Oh!
0:22:58 > 0:22:59End scene!
0:23:02 > 0:23:03Hey!
0:23:03 > 0:23:05Urgh, ugh, look at the state of her!
0:23:05 > 0:23:07It's time to go to school!
0:23:07 > 0:23:10But don't worry - you ain't likely to learn anything.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13It's the Quarter Past Four O'Clock Club!
0:23:15 > 0:23:19And that is why we never detonate dynamite!
0:23:19 > 0:23:23I don't understand basic instructions.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25TICKING
0:23:25 > 0:23:27- DISTORTED:- No-o!
0:23:27 > 0:23:30# Here me now! Health and safety is an important cause
0:23:30 > 0:23:32# You need to stop running in the corridors
0:23:32 > 0:23:34# Put your little brew down on a coaster
0:23:34 > 0:23:36# And don't put your new shoes in the toaster
0:23:36 > 0:23:38# Chill out, mate, I thought you were cool
0:23:38 > 0:23:40# Let us do more things around this school
0:23:40 > 0:23:42# Don't operate machinery, don't use chain saws
0:23:42 > 0:23:44# Actually, it's tricky, given I have paws!
0:23:44 > 0:23:46# Graffiti on the walls is not recommended
0:23:46 > 0:23:48# Wear science goggles as they were intended
0:23:48 > 0:23:51# Never point a stapler in a teacher's direction
0:23:51 > 0:23:53# Don't touch wires with a faulty connection
0:23:53 > 0:23:55# Don't worry about it, I'm well safe
0:23:55 > 0:23:57# Ain't gonna be no accidents in this place
0:23:57 > 0:23:59# Can I bring a pet in? Where's that bear?
0:23:59 > 0:24:01# And don't lean back, cos I'll pull your chair
0:24:01 > 0:24:03# Health and safety
0:24:03 > 0:24:05# Is a real ting to me
0:24:05 > 0:24:05# Keep it safe, yo!
0:24:05 > 0:24:09# Risk management, makes me sing, you see
0:24:09 > 0:24:11# Dance with me
0:24:11 > 0:24:13# As though bending your knees
0:24:13 > 0:24:14# Keep it safe there!
0:24:14 > 0:24:17# Actually, Josh, I think you've given me fleas. #
0:24:17 > 0:24:19Don't worry, cocker, I'll get rid of 'em!
0:24:19 > 0:24:22BOOM!
0:24:22 > 0:24:24Oh! Ooh! Oh!
0:24:24 > 0:24:28Well, from one piece of explosive television to another.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30It's the hair-raising finale
0:24:30 > 0:24:33where Hacker likes to say...
0:24:33 > 0:24:37Bobby Lockwood, get out!
0:24:37 > 0:24:39GET OUT...
0:24:39 > 0:24:41Is the name of my great big quiz.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43You see, I've decided to get rid of you now
0:24:43 > 0:24:46so you'll be fighting to get back up to the ground floor
0:24:46 > 0:24:48so you can return to your normal, heart-throb life.
0:24:48 > 0:24:50Get a question right and you'll go up a level.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53Get one wrong, and you go back down a level.
0:24:53 > 0:24:54When the time is up,
0:24:54 > 0:24:56you will either have lit up enough buttons to leave,
0:24:56 > 0:24:58or you will end up on one of the weird and wonderful
0:24:58 > 0:25:02- floors in the building, like my Dungeon Of Hungry Dragons!- Hello!
0:25:02 > 0:25:04I'm so hungry! Ha-ha!
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Is that all clear, cocker?
0:25:06 > 0:25:07Um, yeah, I guess so.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Right, you've got until you hear this sound.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11IT GROANS WEARILY
0:25:11 > 0:25:15Let's get on with it, then. 3, 2, 57, go!
0:25:15 > 0:25:17Which of these is a type of wolf?
0:25:17 > 0:25:22Is it A, canis lupis youngi, or B, canis lupis oldie?
0:25:22 > 0:25:24Er, the first one.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27Correct, it is, A, canis lupis youngi. Next question.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30Wolfbloods are famously harder, better, faster, stronger.
0:25:30 > 0:25:34But which band had a hit single with that very title?
0:25:34 > 0:25:36- Daft Punk.- Correct, cockle!
0:25:36 > 0:25:39My close friend and confidante Harry Ton-gue has been spending some
0:25:39 > 0:25:42quality sofa time on which top-notch programme?
0:25:42 > 0:25:46Is it A, The One Show, or B, BBC Breakfast?
0:25:48 > 0:25:51- BBC Breakfast.- Ooh, let's see if you're right.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54Well, joining us now to discuss the plight of polystyrene cups
0:25:54 > 0:25:57in today's society is Mr Harry Tongue. A very good morning to you.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Lovely to meet you. And I understand you've had many
0:26:00 > 0:26:02crushing experiences during your life.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08Well, if you're not going to talk about it... Pathetic!
0:26:10 > 0:26:14Right! Now get away from me, Ton-gue, ah!
0:26:14 > 0:26:15You're doing well, Bobby.
0:26:15 > 0:26:19Keep this up and you'll be out of here, cockle. Look at this picture.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22Which Wolfblood star have I wolfed up?
0:26:22 > 0:26:23BOBBY LAUGHS
0:26:23 > 0:26:27- That is Bill Fellows.- Yeah, but who does he play?- He plays Bernie.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30Correct! Ting!
0:26:30 > 0:26:33Only one to go. You're doing well, me old cockle. Right, next one.
0:26:33 > 0:26:37Which sporting theme tune is Wilf Breadbin howling to?
0:26:38 > 0:26:43HE HUMS THE "MATCH OF THE DAY" THEME
0:26:43 > 0:26:46- That was Match of the Day. - Correctamundo!
0:26:46 > 0:26:49Get out!
0:26:49 > 0:26:50Many, many congratulations, Bobby.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53You answered enough questions correctly to leave
0:26:53 > 0:26:56and be free from this horrific place.
0:26:56 > 0:26:57So, get out!
0:26:57 > 0:26:58See you later, Hacker.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00- Get out, go on. Yes!- Come on.
0:27:00 > 0:27:03- Any last words, Bobby?- Actually, now you mention it, I'd like to...
0:27:03 > 0:27:06Ha-ha-ha! What a lovely gentleman, with a great head of hair.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08Thanks for joining me today, cockers.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11I am off to listen to some whale song and have a nice little bath.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14What's that? You want to hear me sing the end song?
0:27:14 > 0:27:16All right, stop asking, I'll do it!
0:27:21 > 0:27:24# And that is it, we're now at the end of the show
0:27:24 > 0:27:26# I need the lav, love, so I'm going to go
0:27:26 > 0:27:28# I'll see you next time on this show of mine
0:27:28 > 0:27:31# Put it in your diary, it's called Hacker Time!
0:27:31 > 0:27:33# It's been amazing, we've been larking around
0:27:33 > 0:27:35# The whole programme cost just under a pound
0:27:35 > 0:27:38# Watch again next time, cos we've got much more
0:27:38 > 0:27:41# There'll be tons of other funny stuff, it will be top-drawer
0:27:41 > 0:27:45# Bobby Lockwood was my guest, he's the heart-throb from Wolfblood
0:27:45 > 0:27:48# We had a chat about his award
0:27:48 > 0:27:50# Which he only sent to me because I'm not very good
0:27:50 > 0:27:52# That is it, we're now at the end of the show
0:27:52 > 0:27:55# I need the lav, love, so I'm going to go
0:27:55 > 0:27:57# I'll see you next time on this show of mine
0:27:57 > 0:27:59# Put it in your diary, it's called Hacker Time!
0:27:59 > 0:28:02# Put it in your diary, it's called Hacker Time! #
0:28:02 > 0:28:04That is the end of today's Hacker Time!
0:28:04 > 0:28:07I'm so hungry! Heh-heh!