Episode 9

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0:24:02 > 0:24:04Hacker's CBBC top ten!

0:24:04 > 0:24:07# Oh, top ten!

0:24:07 > 0:24:09# Mmm, yes! #

0:24:09 > 0:24:12You all right, cockers? It's me, Hacker.

0:24:12 > 0:24:15And I'm counting down my top ten CBBC shows.

0:24:15 > 0:24:17So come and join me in my kennel

0:24:17 > 0:24:20but watch your feet on the beige carpet, cocker -

0:24:20 > 0:24:22it's got a delicate pile!

0:24:22 > 0:24:24At number three, it's Strange Hill High.

0:24:24 > 0:24:28This is a show all about some very weird children.

0:24:28 > 0:24:31I mean, have you seen those sticks attached to their arms?

0:24:31 > 0:24:33What's all that about, eh, cockers, eh?

0:24:33 > 0:24:36I don't know why this programme's on my list, actually,

0:24:36 > 0:24:38because it contains two things I despise the most -

0:24:38 > 0:24:40puppets and school. Oh!

0:24:40 > 0:24:42Puppets scare me, frankly. Horrible little things.

0:24:42 > 0:24:44They make me physically retch

0:24:44 > 0:24:46with their jerky movements and stupid mouths.

0:24:46 > 0:24:49I mean, why would anybody watch that? It's a travesty, cocker!

0:24:49 > 0:24:53As for school, huh! I'll never forget my first day at school.

0:24:53 > 0:24:56I walked into the classroom and the teacher said, "Sit down."

0:24:56 > 0:24:59I said, "Oi! You can't tell me to sit down, I'm not a dog!"

0:24:59 > 0:25:02And she replied, "Yes, you are a dog",

0:25:02 > 0:25:04and I went, "Oh, yeah! Nyaaah!"

0:25:06 > 0:25:08Then she said, "What's 2 + 2?"

0:25:08 > 0:25:09And I said, "It's a sum."

0:25:09 > 0:25:11She said, "I know it's a sum, but what is 2 + 2?"

0:25:11 > 0:25:13I said, "It's a sum, cocker."

0:25:13 > 0:25:16She said, "I know it's a sum, but what's 2 + 2?"

0:25:16 > 0:25:19I said, "Are you not listening to me, love? It's a sum!"

0:25:19 > 0:25:21"2 + 2 is a sum!"

0:25:21 > 0:25:24She said, "I know it's a sum, but what's the answer to 2 + 2?"

0:25:24 > 0:25:28And I said, "I've absolutely no idea! Nyaah!"

0:25:29 > 0:25:32Anyway, she said, "Get your jotter out."

0:25:32 > 0:25:34And I thought she said, "Get your otter out!"

0:25:34 > 0:25:37Luckily, I did have an otter in me satchel

0:25:37 > 0:25:39and that's why I never went to school again.

0:25:39 > 0:25:44So in my top ten list of CBBC shows, Strange Hill High is number three.

0:25:44 > 0:25:45Oh!