:00:13. > :00:20.Sport! Good day to you, welcome to the show. Today's top stories.
:00:21. > :00:24.Michael Phelps tells us what he's just done in the pool. Ha-ha, it's a
:00:25. > :00:33.number one. Woman does archaic impression of policeman on
:00:34. > :00:42.Copacabana beach. Hello, hello, hello. Waiter forced to break up the
:00:43. > :00:48.fight. Calm down, chaps. Why not just split the bill? It easier. And
:00:49. > :01:00.Siobhan-Marie O'Connor gets silver in the 200 metre individual medley.
:01:01. > :01:03.La, la I love swimming. The big news, the diving pool has gone
:01:04. > :01:13.green. It started recycling plastic and going hybrid. It has literary
:01:14. > :01:17.gone green? Yes, Hacker. Here are timely account and Louise Toulson
:01:18. > :01:23.diving in the Swamp last night. The organisers have said the competitors
:01:24. > :01:28.are perfectly safe. And to prove it, here is Tonia, now. What's happened
:01:29. > :01:34.to you? Have you done something different with your head? Life to
:01:35. > :01:40.the pool, now. With Fred, have you found out why it turned green? No,
:01:41. > :01:43.mate. I've been too busy dipping my fungal toe infection into this
:01:44. > :01:48.diving. Quite will you look into why it has turned green? As soon as I
:01:49. > :01:53.have finished dumping this toxic waste into the diving pool. Any
:01:54. > :02:06.other jokes? I was going to do a lot one about sneezing. Mike Green 's --
:02:07. > :02:10.my green snot has gone into the diving pool. I hope your cold does
:02:11. > :02:16.not prove any problems with the gymnastics. Talking of gymnastics, I
:02:17. > :02:21.did enjoy the new event when they had to jump into a massive toilet.
:02:22. > :02:27.Be careful! Michael Phelps just went in there. Don't you just hate it
:02:28. > :02:35.when you are doing gymnastics but the camera is totally ignore you?
:02:36. > :02:41.How rude! On a totally unrelated note I will now do a gymnastics
:02:42. > :02:51.routine of my own. Get back down here. I can't believe that. Never
:02:52. > :02:56.mind. Now it's time for my favourite obvious gymnastics statement by Matt
:02:57. > :03:03.Baker. Every score counts towards that team total. Regular viewers
:03:04. > :03:07.will remember seeing Clare balding's patriotic TV equipment yesterday. It
:03:08. > :03:12.seems to have gathered quite a following overnight. It started off
:03:13. > :03:20.with just a couple of fans. Later on a few more. And by the end of the
:03:21. > :03:29.night, look at them all. Come on, you lot. How patriotically they are
:03:30. > :03:33.probably off to eat scones and complain about the weather. Did
:03:34. > :03:36.anybody else notice a Formula 1 commentator got into the wrong
:03:37. > :03:42.commentary box yesterday? Get your seat belts on! She can't seem to get
:03:43. > :03:47.into top gear. It can't be too difficult, they've got loads of
:03:48. > :03:53.presenters on that show. Has anybody seen the Brazilian hockey team? I'm
:03:54. > :03:57.having trouble finding them. My eyes! It's burning my retinas! I
:03:58. > :04:03.wonder where they've been washing that strip! Did anybody else see the
:04:04. > :04:08.German hockey team lose a contact lens? Hi hidden microphones caught
:04:09. > :04:15.everything! I've lost a contact lens! I'll look for it, but don't
:04:16. > :04:21.expect me to respect it. Don't stand on it! I'm not helping you any
:04:22. > :04:25.further. That's just about it for today. I wonder what the rowing
:04:26. > :04:30.commentators thought about my programme. On his day, Hacker, is
:04:31. > :04:34.still a force to be reckoned with. It's not my fault the air
:04:35. > :04:43.conditioning broke. I'm off to watch more of the Olympics on my couch.
:04:44. > :04:45.Hello, Tonia Couch from earlier. Let's go, by.