Episode 1

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0:00:17 > 0:00:19Cold spots!

0:00:19 > 0:00:20Huzzah!

0:00:20 > 0:00:21It's the Winter Olympics!

0:00:21 > 0:00:22Today's top stories...

0:00:22 > 0:00:28Escalator breaks down at Opening Ceremony.

0:00:28 > 0:00:31The escalator isn't working, I'll never get to the discount warehouse

0:00:31 > 0:00:32now!

0:00:32 > 0:00:36Norweigan disappointed to not be snowboarding on paper.

0:00:36 > 0:00:42There is no one in the world better than Marcus Cleveland, and paper.

0:00:42 > 0:00:49Felix Loch's coach forgets phone but carries on anyway.

0:00:49 > 0:00:52Felix Loch goes on 47.50 six. Felix Loch.

0:00:52 > 0:00:58And Radzi uses chair for first time.

0:00:58 > 0:01:00OK, I've never sat in one of these before.

0:01:00 > 0:01:03Yes, it was the opening weekend of sporting action in South Korea.

0:01:03 > 0:01:07Hey, didn't you think those background dancers at the

0:01:07 > 0:01:14Opening Ceremony were a bit distracting...?

0:01:15 > 0:01:18He could and should perhaps in their first-ever...

0:01:19 > 0:01:21You'd never find me being upstaged by uninspiring coreography...

0:01:21 > 0:01:24Anyway, during the parade the countries put on quite a show.

0:01:24 > 0:01:25There were hundreds of Americans...

0:01:25 > 0:01:28A greased up Tongan...

0:01:28 > 0:01:29And as for Bemuda...

0:01:29 > 0:01:35I wonder what they had in store?

0:01:37 > 0:01:39One of the big stories this weekend was the tummy bug that

0:01:39 > 0:01:41was going round.

0:01:41 > 0:01:42Team GB's Elise Chrisite, and the rest of

0:01:42 > 0:01:49the speed skaters, were the first to be affected.

0:01:50 > 0:01:55Come on I've got to get to the lavvie, hurry up!

0:01:55 > 0:01:59Luckily, BBC pundit Amy Williams had some helpful advice.

0:01:59 > 0:02:04Just get that one run under your belt, I'm fine, let's relax now, let

0:02:04 > 0:02:07the Butterfly settled to the bottom of it more.

0:02:07 > 0:02:10But it was no wonder their bowles were loose -

0:02:10 > 0:02:12with all the fresh fruit that was available.

0:02:12 > 0:02:13First there was this.

0:02:13 > 0:02:15360 melon grab.

0:02:15 > 0:02:18...And then there was this!

0:02:18 > 0:02:20The young Kiwi absolutely smashed it.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22I wonder what the young kiwi smashed?

0:02:22 > 0:02:23I smashed that melon, of course.

0:02:23 > 0:02:24It was upstaging me.

0:02:24 > 0:02:26I hate it when that happens!

0:02:26 > 0:02:28Anyway, now it's time for my favourite reaction to

0:02:28 > 0:02:31discussion of the colour teal.

0:02:34 > 0:02:42What colour would you call that kind of turquoise?Am going to go for

0:02:42 > 0:02:44teal.Are you really?

0:02:44 > 0:02:49I'm glad the BBC's experts really know their stuff.

0:02:50 > 0:02:52Yeah, I'm not a snowboarder and I know professional, but looking at

0:02:52 > 0:02:54it, it looked really good.

0:02:54 > 0:02:57No, I love Amy Williams really, but I have heard a rumour

0:02:57 > 0:03:00that she will only stand on yellow carpet.

0:03:00 > 0:03:02Good luck with that and thank you for all of your insight.

0:03:02 > 0:03:03Bit odd.

0:03:03 > 0:03:05Now, I was surprised to hear the commentators

0:03:05 > 0:03:09talking about facial hair removal so much.

0:03:09 > 0:03:13Despite all the resources the Norwegian team have got at their

0:03:13 > 0:03:15disposal, they got their waxing very wrong.

0:03:15 > 0:03:16You're telling me!

0:03:16 > 0:03:21Have a look at this fella!

0:03:21 > 0:03:25Robert Jansson and his moustache go to the starting gate.

0:03:25 > 0:03:27It seemed like everyone was cheering on his moustache -

0:03:27 > 0:03:30even in other sports.

0:03:30 > 0:03:35Krueger from Musgrave, come on, Muzzy!

0:03:35 > 0:03:37It's no surprise, though, because the moustache was the key

0:03:37 > 0:03:40to his success.

0:03:40 > 0:03:44The aerodynamics on the moustache have paid off because that is a

0:03:44 > 0:03:45fantastic jump from the Norwegian!

0:03:45 > 0:03:47That still seems a bit daft to me, though.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49Can a moustache really help you go faster?

0:03:49 > 0:03:52Well, it's certainly helped me!

0:03:52 > 0:03:53Wahey!

0:03:53 > 0:03:54Stop upstaging me!

0:03:54 > 0:04:00Before we go, just time for some breaking news.

0:04:00 > 0:04:10We find out why we shout weeeeee down the course.He needs a number

0:04:10 > 0:04:15one when he gets down the bottom. Number one means wee.

0:04:15 > 0:04:18Austrian luger hopes for yellow snow.

0:04:18 > 0:04:20SNORING

0:04:20 > 0:04:22You won.

0:04:22 > 0:04:27And Team GB's Elise Christie briefly holds new Olympic Record.

0:04:27 > 0:04:32She won that heat at the time it was an Olympic record. It didn't last

0:04:32 > 0:04:34long, she was just beaten by a fraction.

0:04:34 > 0:04:36You'd never find anyone getting beaten by a fraction round here.

0:04:36 > 0:04:38Hooray, I've won!

0:04:38 > 0:04:39This moustache is worthless!

0:04:39 > 0:04:41Stop upstaging me!

0:04:41 > 0:04:45Ooh!

0:04:45 > 0:04:47See you tomorrow!