0:00:15 > 0:00:19Welcome to my final Winter Olympic Rundown!
0:00:19 > 0:00:21Today's top stories...
0:00:21 > 0:00:27Mayor of Pyeongchang washes imaginary windows.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29Curling crowd forced to sit through whole series
0:00:29 > 0:00:37of Hacker's Winter Olympic Rundown.
0:00:38 > 0:00:44I can't bear it, it's awful, I can't watch any more of this!
0:00:44 > 0:00:46And Paddy Geary buys faulty world map.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49The big news is that Team GB have had their most successful
0:00:49 > 0:00:50Winter Olympics ever!
0:00:50 > 0:00:52Billy Morgan won bronze in the big air, bringing
0:00:52 > 0:00:53the medal total to five.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Now, I know what you're thinking...
0:00:56 > 0:00:59We're going to do a load of trumping gags, because it's "big air".
0:00:59 > 0:01:04Well, don't you think we're better than that?
0:01:04 > 0:01:08Backside triple... Its massive.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10He couldn't hold it. It was huge!
0:01:10 > 0:01:11It was huge!
0:01:11 > 0:01:12No...
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Turns out we're not better than that.
0:01:14 > 0:01:15Jenny Jones was at the event.
0:01:15 > 0:01:21And I was surprised to see that her hat now needs glasses.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23I can see really clearly now!
0:01:23 > 0:01:25I can see really clearly now!
0:01:25 > 0:01:26Hi, Hacker!
0:01:26 > 0:01:27Hi, the whole of the UK!
0:01:27 > 0:01:28How can I help you?
0:01:28 > 0:01:33Well, I really want to watch a jump, but I don't know how!
0:01:33 > 0:01:37The whole of the UK just needs to watch this jump through their eyes.
0:01:37 > 0:01:38through their eyes.
0:01:38 > 0:01:39What good advice!
0:01:39 > 0:01:42But, Hacker, I can't watch it through my eyes.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Someone's nicked my glasses!
0:01:44 > 0:01:45Who would do that?
0:01:45 > 0:01:46Who would do that?
0:01:46 > 0:01:47Don't worry.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50There must be another way of watching it.
0:01:50 > 0:01:57The whole of the UK needs to watch this jump through their fingers.
0:01:57 > 0:01:58This is much better!
0:01:58 > 0:01:59Thanks, Hacker!
0:01:59 > 0:02:00Bye!
0:02:00 > 0:02:02Right.
0:02:02 > 0:02:07It was nice to see snowboarder James 'Woodsy' Woods in the studio.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Woodsy is here!
0:02:09 > 0:02:11But, hang on, what's going on with all that
0:02:11 > 0:02:12backstage crew in shot?
0:02:12 > 0:02:13That makes me sick.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16Doesn't it make you sick, my producer, Derek McGee?
0:02:16 > 0:02:23It certainly does, Hacker.
0:02:23 > 0:02:28Team GB missed out on a Bronze in the telling this weekend and I'm not
0:02:28 > 0:02:30surprised because they stopped halfway through to have a really
0:02:30 > 0:02:35disappointing dinner party! Do you want a canape? Feel free,
0:02:35 > 0:02:39some of them warm comedy what a cold one or a warm one?
0:02:39 > 0:02:46Even a bobsledder was feeling hungry. Eat Britain! I hope he
0:02:46 > 0:02:50doesn't.I hope he doesn't, he thinks I'm part of the finger
0:02:50 > 0:02:58buffet.Very good, now go away! Do you ever get the feeling you're
0:02:58 > 0:03:05being followed?He has not been able to get out of the maroon shadow.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07You'd never catch me being followed by a maroon shadow.
0:03:07 > 0:03:08This one's clearly burgundy!
0:03:08 > 0:03:11One of the highlights of the weekend was the Closing Ceremony.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13It was full of dancing painters and decorators,
0:03:13 > 0:03:14flying rainbow-trimmed envelopes and the inevitable
0:03:14 > 0:03:19greased-up Tongan.
0:03:19 > 0:03:27And I never knew the Olympic flame could speak French!
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Which brings me to my favourite overreaction to the words
0:03:29 > 0:03:36'and now' of the day.
0:03:37 > 0:03:44And now...
0:03:44 > 0:03:45CHEERING
0:03:45 > 0:03:50Before I go, I do need to update you on the tragic saga of the yellow
0:03:50 > 0:03:50carpet in the BBC studio.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53So far, lots of people have stood on it,
0:03:53 > 0:03:56but Clare has refused to.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58I'd love to end the series with some good news
0:03:58 > 0:04:06but, sadly, this weekend, Clare shunned the yellow carpet yet again.
0:04:06 > 0:04:12Come on, stand on me just once! To feel the underside of your shoes
0:04:12 > 0:04:13pressing against my spine!
0:04:13 > 0:04:15To feel the underside of your shoes pressing against my spine!
0:04:15 > 0:04:16Ha-ha-ha!
0:04:16 > 0:04:17Talking yellow carpet...
0:04:17 > 0:04:18What are we like?!
0:04:18 > 0:04:19Hang on..
0:04:19 > 0:04:20Hello?
0:04:20 > 0:04:21What?
0:04:21 > 0:04:22Now?
0:04:22 > 0:04:24All right, I'm on my way!
0:04:24 > 0:04:25Won't be a second, everyone.
0:04:25 > 0:04:31How do, what do you want to see me for?Hacker, we need to have a word,
0:04:31 > 0:04:35you have been making these terrible puns at my expense. And whoever
0:04:35 > 0:04:41heard of talking props, a yellow carpet cannot talk!I can change,
0:04:41 > 0:04:45Clare, give me a chance.We both know you can't change, get out!If
0:04:45 > 0:04:51that is the way you want it, I'm going!
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Fancy a brew? Yellow carpet, I thought you would never ask, thank
0:04:53 > 0:04:55you!No!
0:04:55 > 0:04:56Well, that's it for the series.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58I'm sure you'll agree, it's been pretty bad,
0:04:58 > 0:04:59and I'll probably never work again!
0:04:59 > 0:05:02So there's only one thing left to say...
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Thank you, and bye-bye, Korea!
0:05:05 > 0:05:06Bye bye, my career!