The First Date Dilemma

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:34 > 0:00:38Elevated heartbeat. Temperature's on the rise.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40And your sweat glands are on overdrive.

0:00:44 > 0:00:47Can you believe it? I'm going on a date.

0:00:47 > 0:00:49With an actual girl.

0:00:51 > 0:00:53It's my own fault. If I got good grades, I would never have been

0:00:53 > 0:00:55sent to that stupid study group.

0:01:01 > 0:01:06Welcome, kidlets, to the Lunchtime Learning Ladder.

0:01:06 > 0:01:07CHILDREN GROAN

0:01:07 > 0:01:10Oh, yes, I know you're all dying to be here.

0:01:10 > 0:01:11Think about the alternative -

0:01:11 > 0:01:14you could be in the cafeteria right now having a toad in the hole.

0:01:14 > 0:01:18Let me just remind you that toad might be a real one.

0:01:18 > 0:01:20So why are we here?

0:01:20 > 0:01:22We're here to improve our grades, that I can help you with.

0:01:22 > 0:01:26For your first project you need to work in pairs,

0:01:26 > 0:01:27so go ahead, find a partner.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35'Please not Vincent.

0:01:35 > 0:01:37'He pulls the wings off butterflies for breakfast.'

0:01:42 > 0:01:44Sorry I'm late!

0:01:52 > 0:01:55Don't you worry, cos we were just picking partners

0:01:55 > 0:01:58and it looks like Hank needs one.

0:01:58 > 0:02:00- I do?- You do!

0:02:00 > 0:02:02Yeah, I do. If you like.

0:02:02 > 0:02:05All right, let's take a moment and introduce ourselves to each other.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08Hi, I'm Zoe. It means, "life" in Greek.

0:02:08 > 0:02:12My name's Hank. I have no idea what it means.

0:02:12 > 0:02:15But it rhymes with tank. And stank.

0:02:15 > 0:02:16What brings you here, Tank?

0:02:16 > 0:02:19Well, I was told there was going to be cake. You?

0:02:19 > 0:02:23I've got dyslexia, my grades suck. But I also like cake.

0:02:23 > 0:02:25'She comes straight out with the D-word.

0:02:25 > 0:02:27'Why can't I do that?'

0:02:27 > 0:02:30So maybe you and me will be the perfect partners?

0:02:30 > 0:02:33All right, Hank, be cool, just be casual.

0:02:33 > 0:02:36'Yeah, Hank, be cool, just be casual.'

0:02:36 > 0:02:38I think we're going to be...burr-illiant!

0:02:38 > 0:02:41OK, that's enough introducing right now.

0:02:42 > 0:02:45So here's the mission, I want you to find out about your partner

0:02:45 > 0:02:46and I want you to write about it.

0:02:46 > 0:02:49Being honest about the real you is the only way

0:02:49 > 0:02:51that we get to know each other.

0:02:51 > 0:02:54This sounds fun. You know where we're going to start?

0:02:54 > 0:02:55Favourite ice cream flavour?

0:02:55 > 0:02:58Nope. Embarrassing secrets.

0:03:09 > 0:03:11Wow.

0:03:11 > 0:03:15I know. Can you believe it? I've been burgled...

0:03:15 > 0:03:18- Oh, really?- Yeah, I swear I left this place spotless this morning.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20Strange they didn't take anything from the rest of the flat.

0:03:20 > 0:03:23Erm... They must've known all the really cool stuff was in here.

0:03:23 > 0:03:25You mean like this?

0:03:28 > 0:03:30Yeah, it's a, erm...

0:03:30 > 0:03:35spy cam. High definition, voice activated, it even has night vision.

0:03:39 > 0:03:43Isn't he a bit young for girlfriends and all that stuff?

0:03:43 > 0:03:46Oh, no, I had a boyfriend at his age. Tony Hooper.

0:03:46 > 0:03:49I remember our first date. We went to the park,

0:03:49 > 0:03:53he didn't have any money so we just sat on the swings and ate hot dogs.

0:03:53 > 0:03:57Oh, and then he wrote me this poem on the back of a bus ticket.

0:03:57 > 0:04:00Oh, no, I loved it. I've still got it somewhere.

0:04:00 > 0:04:01Then it rained!

0:04:01 > 0:04:04Oh, I imagine that must have put a bit of a dampener on things.

0:04:04 > 0:04:07With Tony Hooper, are you kidding? Oh, Tony's hair in the rain,

0:04:07 > 0:04:09all dark and thick and glistening.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15Yeah...

0:04:15 > 0:04:17No, it's, it's definitely cracked.

0:04:17 > 0:04:20Yeah, yeah, OK, right, well, I'll just, I'll call a carpenter.

0:04:20 > 0:04:23Hi, Hank, how are you, eh, we're just, uh...going.

0:04:26 > 0:04:28I think I'm going to write mine as a song.

0:04:29 > 0:04:33# If you should meet a boy called Hank

0:04:33 > 0:04:37# He'll tell you that he rhymes with tank

0:04:37 > 0:04:41# His room's a mess, don't go in there

0:04:41 > 0:04:47# Or you might just find his teddy bear. #

0:04:47 > 0:04:48What do you think?

0:04:48 > 0:04:51Think you need to find something that rhymes with spy cam.

0:04:57 > 0:05:00Oh, slow down, you'll wear a hole in it.

0:05:00 > 0:05:02What's got into you?

0:05:02 > 0:05:04You're not worried about Hank getting a girlfriend, are you?

0:05:04 > 0:05:07Oh, no. Good luck to him.

0:05:07 > 0:05:10Who knows, he night even manage to hold on to his first true love.

0:05:10 > 0:05:13Oh, yeah, well, who knows? Oh, it's just so lovely seeing him

0:05:13 > 0:05:18feel all that excitement and the butterflies and the stolen glances...

0:05:18 > 0:05:21- Thick hair glistening in the moonlight...- And the...

0:05:23 > 0:05:26Hang on. Is this about Tony Hooper?

0:05:26 > 0:05:29Oh, good old glisteny-haired Tony...

0:05:29 > 0:05:32Stan, you're jealous! That was a lifetime ago.

0:05:32 > 0:05:35Yet you can still fondly remember exactly what you did

0:05:35 > 0:05:37on your first date. Do you even remember ours?

0:05:37 > 0:05:38Yeah, of course I do.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40No, you don't, you're just saying that.

0:05:40 > 0:05:42I remember it like it was yesterday.

0:05:43 > 0:05:46The...laughing and the...

0:05:46 > 0:05:49atmosphere, the music?

0:05:49 > 0:05:52And the hair all... so glossy, all that hair gel.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54I never used hair gel.

0:05:54 > 0:05:56Greasy was very in back then.

0:05:56 > 0:05:58I tell you what.

0:05:58 > 0:06:00Let's do it all over again then?

0:06:00 > 0:06:02I would love that.

0:06:02 > 0:06:06OK. This Friday. You can make all the arrangements.

0:06:07 > 0:06:10Sure, no problem.

0:06:15 > 0:06:17If Zoe's going to write a song

0:06:17 > 0:06:20then I need to come up with something cool.

0:06:20 > 0:06:22How about I do a rap?

0:06:24 > 0:06:26# Yo, yo, yo, hear me y'all

0:06:26 > 0:06:28# Stop your shoppin' in the mall

0:06:28 > 0:06:31# A girl called Zoe, she's where it's at

0:06:31 > 0:06:33# She's droppin' beats that are street, that are phat

0:06:33 > 0:06:35# Brrrap! #

0:06:38 > 0:06:40OK, I won't do a rap.

0:06:41 > 0:06:43How about I do a poem?

0:06:43 > 0:06:45Poems are short.

0:06:45 > 0:06:46I think she'd like a poem.

0:06:50 > 0:06:52Do you want me to find out if she's got a boyfriend?

0:06:52 > 0:06:54What? I don't care if she... Yeah, that would be awesome.

0:07:01 > 0:07:04Think, Pop, you've got to try and remember.

0:07:04 > 0:07:06How would I know where you went on your first date with Stan?

0:07:06 > 0:07:09- I wasn't there. - Oh, not for lack of trying.

0:07:09 > 0:07:12I remember when you "just happened" to be passing the bowling alley

0:07:12 > 0:07:14- that time?- I was just monitoring from a distance.

0:07:14 > 0:07:16You ended up having a grudge match with the boy

0:07:16 > 0:07:18and I had to wait in the cafe!

0:07:18 > 0:07:20Ah, I just liked to get the measure of these boys.

0:07:20 > 0:07:22- See if they cracked under pressure. - You made most of them cry.

0:07:22 > 0:07:24So did you.

0:07:24 > 0:07:27I remember! Stan took you to the park on your first date.

0:07:27 > 0:07:30No, Dad, that was Tony Hooper.

0:07:30 > 0:07:34Oh, Tony! Lovely boy.

0:07:34 > 0:07:36That hair.

0:07:46 > 0:07:47See you later.

0:07:49 > 0:07:52# In races he can't quicken

0:07:52 > 0:07:55# Cos Hank dresses as a chicken... #

0:07:56 > 0:07:58Was that your boyfriend?

0:07:58 > 0:08:01Why? Do you like him? I can hook you up if you want?

0:08:01 > 0:08:05Erm, thanks but I'm, er... interested in someone else.

0:08:05 > 0:08:08- Let me guess. It's Hank. - What? No!

0:08:08 > 0:08:10Yeah, like Ashley and any boy - no way.

0:08:10 > 0:08:13- What's that supposed to mean? - You're not a girl-girl.

0:08:13 > 0:08:16- You're one of the guys. - Well, thanks.

0:08:16 > 0:08:17So, how about you, Zoe?

0:08:17 > 0:08:21Doesn't your boyfriend come to hear you play?

0:08:21 > 0:08:23Well, I... Wait a sec.

0:08:23 > 0:08:26Why are you so interested in my boyfriend?

0:08:26 > 0:08:27Did Hank put you up to this?

0:08:27 > 0:08:29What...what?

0:08:29 > 0:08:32Uh, no, I was just doing the survey...

0:08:35 > 0:08:38Well, you can tell Hank, no, I don't have a boyfriend.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44Well, thanks for blowing my cover.

0:08:44 > 0:08:47Just relax. Once you hit her with your poem - boom!

0:08:47 > 0:08:49She's going to have Hank-shaped hearts in her eyes.

0:08:49 > 0:08:52- Have you finished it yet? - Yeah. Check out this masterpiece.

0:08:53 > 0:08:57Zoe, a girl with hair.

0:08:58 > 0:08:59Is that it?

0:08:59 > 0:09:03I like it. Is it one of those erm...Japanese harkem poems?

0:09:03 > 0:09:06You mean haiku, and no, it's not.

0:09:06 > 0:09:08They're the ultimate poem, only 17 syllables long

0:09:08 > 0:09:10but intensely moving and emotional.

0:09:10 > 0:09:13Which 'Zoe. A girl. With hair' isn't.

0:09:22 > 0:09:23No.

0:09:23 > 0:09:27All you have to do is ask your dad a few questions about our first date,

0:09:27 > 0:09:29- it's no biggie. - I'm not spying for you, Mum.

0:09:29 > 0:09:32It's not spying. It's...

0:09:32 > 0:09:33SHE SIGHS

0:09:33 > 0:09:36OK, it's spying, but it's all for a good cause.

0:09:42 > 0:09:46I want a Guyana pinktoe tarantula.

0:09:46 > 0:09:47You're blackmailing me?

0:09:47 > 0:09:51It's not blackmail, it's...it's...

0:09:51 > 0:09:53OK. It's blackmail.

0:09:53 > 0:09:54But it's all for a good cause.

0:10:03 > 0:10:06So, I hear you and Mum are going on your first date again.

0:10:06 > 0:10:08Well, we would be if she could remember it.

0:10:08 > 0:10:10I don't know what you mean.

0:10:10 > 0:10:11Yes!

0:10:11 > 0:10:13She's really excited about it.

0:10:13 > 0:10:16She's particularly looking forward to the first bit.

0:10:16 > 0:10:19You know when you went to the...

0:10:19 > 0:10:20The...?

0:10:20 > 0:10:23What is she giving you to find out the details?

0:10:25 > 0:10:27I'm getting a Guyana pinktoe tarantula.

0:10:27 > 0:10:30Unbelievable.

0:10:30 > 0:10:33OK, so here's what I want you to tell her about the first date.

0:10:33 > 0:10:38Do you know what's better than one tarantula? A pair of tarantulas.

0:10:38 > 0:10:40You get this cunning streak off your mother.

0:10:43 > 0:10:45'Come on, Hank, you can do this.

0:10:45 > 0:10:48'Just 17 silly-silla... S-syllables.

0:10:48 > 0:10:52'Now think - intensely moving and emotional.'

0:10:52 > 0:10:53Zoe.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56A girl...

0:10:59 > 0:11:01..or is she?

0:11:11 > 0:11:15So, 5cm by 4cm by 3...

0:11:16 > 0:11:18'I can't eat, I can't sleep.

0:11:18 > 0:11:20'All I can think about is Zoe.

0:11:23 > 0:11:24'I keep seeing her everywhere.'

0:11:31 > 0:11:34Who is Zoe Hartley?

0:11:34 > 0:11:38Unless she's a sister of Pythagoras, which I very much doubt,

0:11:38 > 0:11:40she should be excised from your work immediately.

0:11:46 > 0:11:47How do I get this girl out of my head?

0:11:47 > 0:11:49It's impossible.

0:11:49 > 0:11:51Once she's in your heart, she will always be in your head.

0:11:51 > 0:11:55There must be something I can do. What about hypnosis?

0:11:55 > 0:11:56An injection?

0:11:56 > 0:11:58Love should not be fought like a battle.

0:11:58 > 0:12:01It should be embraced like a dance.

0:12:01 > 0:12:03This isn't love. It's...

0:12:03 > 0:12:05I don't know what this is.

0:12:08 > 0:12:12If it looks like chorizo, smells like chorizo

0:12:12 > 0:12:13and tastes like chorizo...

0:12:15 > 0:12:16..it's chorizo.

0:12:22 > 0:12:25We went to a football match on our first date? But I hate football.

0:12:25 > 0:12:28He said you stood behind the goal. He taught you all the chants.

0:12:28 > 0:12:32I don't remember ever going to see a football match with your dad.

0:12:32 > 0:12:34He remembers every minute.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36- Oh.- Plus injury time.- OK.

0:12:39 > 0:12:43Oh, it's going to cost me an arm and a leg to get tickets for tonight.

0:12:43 > 0:12:46Well, then just tell him you forgot your first date.

0:12:46 > 0:12:49Or... I could sell an arm...

0:12:51 > 0:12:54- I'm going to ask Zoe on a date. - That's a great idea.

0:12:54 > 0:12:57That is a terrible idea. No-one asks anyone on dates any more.

0:12:57 > 0:13:01Old school. The thing to do now is wait until you're chatting online

0:13:01 > 0:13:05- and casually suggest a meet-up. - A meet-up?

0:13:05 > 0:13:07It's a code for a date without actually calling it a date.

0:13:07 > 0:13:09Takes all the pressure off.

0:13:09 > 0:13:11That's stupid, why mess about? Just ask her out.

0:13:11 > 0:13:15- Girls like the direct approach. - And what do you know about girls?

0:13:15 > 0:13:17Hello?

0:13:17 > 0:13:19At some point in the meet-up, you have to try the move.

0:13:19 > 0:13:22Something that shows you want to be more than just friends.

0:13:22 > 0:13:23You mean he has to kiss her.

0:13:23 > 0:13:26Whoa! Are you crazy?! That is way too full-on.

0:13:26 > 0:13:28This is my move. Come on, let's pretend we're on a meet-up.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30Can't you demonstrate with Ashley?

0:13:30 > 0:13:33You're OK. You two make a lovely couple.

0:13:33 > 0:13:34I go in for the hug...

0:13:36 > 0:13:38..but then I lean back and leave my arm around her.

0:13:38 > 0:13:42I smile at her and if she smiles back, I go in for the kiss.

0:13:42 > 0:13:46If the signals are not right, I just pass it off as an extended hug.

0:13:46 > 0:13:48That is genius.

0:13:48 > 0:13:49That's pathetic.

0:13:49 > 0:13:50That works.

0:13:55 > 0:13:56FOOTBALL CROWD CHEERS ON TV

0:13:56 > 0:13:59Who needs the telly when you can watch the real thing?

0:14:02 > 0:14:05Two tickets to Chelsea and Arsenal for tonight. See?

0:14:05 > 0:14:07I told you I remembered.

0:14:07 > 0:14:11Oh, and they're behind the goal, just like on our first date.

0:14:11 > 0:14:15Oh, yeah, I have fond memories of singing on the verandas...

0:14:15 > 0:14:16Terraces.

0:14:16 > 0:14:19Terraces and that 80 minutes of...

0:14:19 > 0:14:2190 minutes.

0:14:21 > 0:14:2690-minute walk down memory lane! Come on, you blues!

0:14:26 > 0:14:27Reds.

0:14:27 > 0:14:29Yep.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31I can't wait.

0:14:34 > 0:14:36The song's nearly finished.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38I just can't find anything that rhymes with Zipzer.

0:14:38 > 0:14:41I think you'll find 'he's awesome', is pretty close.

0:14:41 > 0:14:43Thanks, that's a big help.

0:14:43 > 0:14:44What are you doing for Learning Ladder?

0:14:44 > 0:14:47I'm writing a...a high-cow?

0:14:47 > 0:14:48What's that?

0:14:48 > 0:14:52It's a poem with only, er, 17 silly. Silly, sillyas...

0:14:52 > 0:14:55- Syllables? - Yeah, that's it. It's Japanese.

0:14:55 > 0:14:58I don't think you have to write it in Japanese.

0:14:58 > 0:14:59Well, I hope not.

0:14:59 > 0:15:01Sounds tricky. How's it going?

0:15:01 > 0:15:02I think I've pretty much got it sorted.

0:15:04 > 0:15:06Zoe, dinner!

0:15:06 > 0:15:08That's my tea. I better go.

0:15:08 > 0:15:10Hey Zoe...

0:15:10 > 0:15:12HIS HEART THUDS

0:15:19 > 0:15:21I was thinking we could meet-up later?

0:15:21 > 0:15:22Meet-up?

0:15:22 > 0:15:24- FOOTSTEPS - Mum, I'm...

0:15:24 > 0:15:27Ohhh! Hi, Zoe!

0:15:27 > 0:15:28Hi, Mrs Zipzer.

0:15:28 > 0:15:30Don't mind me, I'm just putting the washing away.

0:15:30 > 0:15:32So where do you want to meet up?

0:15:32 > 0:15:35I was thinking we could go see a movie?

0:15:35 > 0:15:38I'm really sorry. I didn't realise you were asking her on a date.

0:15:38 > 0:15:39And she can hear you!

0:15:39 > 0:15:42And I can see your pants. Are those superheroes on them?

0:15:42 > 0:15:43Isn't your dinner getting cold?

0:15:43 > 0:15:46- Movie sounds good, I'll see you then. - Really?

0:15:46 > 0:15:50Just don't wear your underpants on the outside.

0:15:50 > 0:15:52- Bye.- Bye.

0:15:54 > 0:15:58If you're going on a first date, er, I suggest you write notes

0:15:58 > 0:16:00because you might need them 15 years from now.

0:16:00 > 0:16:02It's not a date. It's a meet-up.

0:16:02 > 0:16:05All I'm saying is...take a pencil.

0:16:09 > 0:16:12You're going on your first date. Just be cool and don't panic.

0:16:15 > 0:16:16Is it too late to cancel?

0:16:16 > 0:16:18Don't worry. Everyone gets scared the first time.

0:16:18 > 0:16:20Why don't we come with you? Help calm your nerves.

0:16:20 > 0:16:22You want to come on my date with me?

0:16:22 > 0:16:24We'll sit at the back. You won't even know we're there.

0:16:24 > 0:16:27No way! I'm fine. I can do this on my own.

0:16:35 > 0:16:36Can anyone lend me any money?

0:16:40 > 0:16:44- So you didn't go to the football for your first date?- No.

0:16:44 > 0:16:45So what did you do?

0:16:45 > 0:16:46I don't remember either!

0:16:46 > 0:16:50- You tricked her? - Well, I prefer to say misled.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52Well, pay back and footy - what a combo.

0:16:52 > 0:16:55- But she hates football. - That's right. That's three things!

0:16:55 > 0:16:57That's a hat trick!

0:16:57 > 0:17:01A pub quiz! You took her to a pub quiz on your first date.

0:17:01 > 0:17:03She said you did a lap of honour when you won.

0:17:03 > 0:17:05How could I forget?

0:17:05 > 0:17:06Forget what, Pop?

0:17:06 > 0:17:10Eh, our first date at the football. Thanks for baby-sitting, Pete.

0:17:10 > 0:17:13Stan, love should not be fought like a battle.

0:17:13 > 0:17:17It should be embraced like a dance.

0:17:17 > 0:17:19Yeah. Haven't got a clue what that means.

0:17:19 > 0:17:20- HE MOUTHS:- Thank you.

0:17:20 > 0:17:23Here we go, here we go, here we go!

0:17:28 > 0:17:32'Don't even think about it. Just keep watching the movie.

0:17:32 > 0:17:34'But if I don't make a move,

0:17:34 > 0:17:36'we'll end up being nothing more than friends.

0:17:36 > 0:17:39'But what if I make a move and she laughs in my face?

0:17:39 > 0:17:41'Then we won't even be friends.'

0:17:41 > 0:17:42We shouldn't be doing this.

0:17:42 > 0:17:44We're just two people watching a movie.

0:17:44 > 0:17:46In fake glasses.

0:17:46 > 0:17:49- But he told us not to come. - We're watching his back.

0:17:49 > 0:17:51Literally.

0:17:51 > 0:17:54'OK, here we go. I'm making my move.

0:17:54 > 0:17:56'Remember to keep it casual, don't be too obvious.'

0:17:58 > 0:18:01- Hey, you've got chewing gum stuck to the back of your chair.- Where?

0:18:01 > 0:18:03Oh, don't worry, I'll get it.

0:18:03 > 0:18:06Did you see that? What a great move.

0:18:06 > 0:18:09I feel like that old dude in the Karate Kid.

0:18:10 > 0:18:11Have you got it?

0:18:11 > 0:18:12Oh, nearly.

0:18:12 > 0:18:16'Now just move your hand onto her shoulder.

0:18:16 > 0:18:17'Slowly does it.

0:18:20 > 0:18:22'Oh, no. What's happened?'

0:18:22 > 0:18:25- How's it going with that chewing gum?- Erm...

0:18:25 > 0:18:28- Ow!- Oh, I'm sorry, your hair's stuck in my sleeve.

0:18:28 > 0:18:30- Get it out. - I'm sorry. I'm trying.

0:18:30 > 0:18:32Houston, we have a problem.

0:18:32 > 0:18:33LIQUID POURS

0:18:33 > 0:18:34Ah! That's cold.

0:18:34 > 0:18:36- I'm sorry, just... - Get off me!

0:18:36 > 0:18:37Just give me a minute.

0:18:37 > 0:18:39Hold still, I'll cut you free.

0:18:39 > 0:18:41Oh, thanks. Ashley, is that you?

0:18:41 > 0:18:42Here. Use this to mop it up.

0:18:42 > 0:18:45Guys, what are you doing here?

0:18:45 > 0:18:46Ow!

0:18:46 > 0:18:48Got it.

0:18:48 > 0:18:51- My hair!- I'm so sorry!

0:18:51 > 0:18:54Oh, you and your weird friends! Just leave me alone.

0:19:01 > 0:19:06OK, so maybe the move isn't entirely foolproof.

0:19:17 > 0:19:18Ahh.

0:19:20 > 0:19:21Did you have a good time?

0:19:21 > 0:19:25Oh, yeah. Brought back all those happy memories of our first date.

0:19:25 > 0:19:27The singing, the shouting,

0:19:27 > 0:19:30those men running round that court after that little ball.

0:19:30 > 0:19:33Are you going to tell her or shall I?

0:19:33 > 0:19:34Tell me what?

0:19:37 > 0:19:40I know that you can't remember what we did on our first date.

0:19:40 > 0:19:42- What?! I can! - I, I...

0:19:43 > 0:19:47I can't remember what we did on our first date, either.

0:19:47 > 0:19:50We, we didn't go to football?

0:19:50 > 0:19:52No.

0:19:52 > 0:19:55And yet I have just been to football...

0:19:55 > 0:19:56Now, Rosa...

0:19:56 > 0:20:00To football, where I ate a disgusting pie

0:20:00 > 0:20:03and the man behind me spat on my neck every time he cheered.

0:20:03 > 0:20:06I just did that to get back at you for going on about your first date

0:20:06 > 0:20:08- with Tony Hooper.- Well, at least he didn't take me to football!

0:20:08 > 0:20:10You wouldn't be able to see anything anyway

0:20:10 > 0:20:11with his massive hair in the way.

0:20:11 > 0:20:13- More ammo! - Thank you, Pop.

0:20:13 > 0:20:15What happened to love should not be fought like a battle?

0:20:15 > 0:20:17I made it up.

0:20:17 > 0:20:19OK, OK, I'm sorry.

0:20:19 > 0:20:22I was jealous, I admit it.

0:20:22 > 0:20:24I just couldn't stand you thinking he could ever have loved you

0:20:24 > 0:20:25as much as I do!

0:20:28 > 0:20:31Nice save, Stanley Zipzer.

0:20:36 > 0:20:39You haven't got a fever. There's nothing wrong with you.

0:20:39 > 0:20:40You're going to school.

0:20:40 > 0:20:43Maybe it's one of those cold fevers. I've heard they can be deadly.

0:20:43 > 0:20:45Look...

0:20:45 > 0:20:47You can't avoid Zoe forever.

0:20:47 > 0:20:50Don't make me do my presentation today.

0:20:50 > 0:20:51It'll be too embarrassing.

0:20:51 > 0:20:54Maybe you could read her that poem that you wrote about her.

0:20:54 > 0:20:56- That would break the ice. - It's totally lame, I've got nothing.

0:20:56 > 0:21:00Look, you made a mistake on a date. That happens.

0:21:00 > 0:21:04Trust me. You'll get it wrong more times than you'll get it right.

0:21:04 > 0:21:06Thanks. That makes me feel so much better.

0:21:06 > 0:21:09OK, look, if you hurry you can catch up with Frankie and Ashley.

0:21:09 > 0:21:12Knowing those two, they're probably hiding under the bed.

0:21:22 > 0:21:27"Zoe. The girl whose smile can make your heart melt

0:21:27 > 0:21:29"like a slushie in your lap."

0:21:39 > 0:21:43Well, finally, the man of the hour. Get in here.

0:21:43 > 0:21:46You almost missed Zoe's song all about you.

0:21:47 > 0:21:50Maybe that's a good thing. I wouldn't want to make her nervous.

0:21:50 > 0:21:54Maybe I could just sit outside and practise my spelling.

0:21:54 > 0:21:55I'm desperate, OK?

0:21:55 > 0:21:59Yeah, but I'm sure that Zoe wants you to hear it, am I right?

0:21:59 > 0:22:01Oh, yeah, definitely.

0:22:01 > 0:22:04Hank, you're going to go next. Sit down.

0:22:04 > 0:22:06Oh, this just gets better and better.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08Ladies and gentlemen - Zoe.

0:22:17 > 0:22:20# Let me tell you about a boy called Hank

0:22:20 > 0:22:24# He thinks he's cool but he's a bit of a plank

0:22:24 > 0:22:28# His room's a mess, he can't spell for toffee

0:22:28 > 0:22:32# He likes eating cakes and his favourite's banoffee

0:22:32 > 0:22:36# If he asks to meet, you'd better say no

0:22:36 > 0:22:39# Or he'll drench you in drink and shave your hair like so

0:22:41 > 0:22:43CHILDREN GASP

0:22:44 > 0:22:48# But that's what I like about this crazy dude

0:22:49 > 0:22:54# You'll never be bored when you're covered in food

0:22:54 > 0:22:57# He makes you laugh

0:22:57 > 0:23:00# He's quite the quipster

0:23:00 > 0:23:05# I've got a new friend and his name is Zipzer. #

0:23:16 > 0:23:18Why did you let me off the hook?

0:23:35 > 0:23:37Thanks for not pouring your drink over me.

0:23:37 > 0:23:39The date's not over yet.

0:23:39 > 0:23:41This is a date? I thought you only did meet-ups?

0:23:44 > 0:23:47- Can we go somewhere else next time? - What's wrong with this place?

0:23:47 > 0:23:49It's not the place. It's the people in it.

0:23:52 > 0:23:53Sorry I forgot our first date.

0:23:53 > 0:23:57Mmm. I'm sorry I keep treading on your toes.

0:23:57 > 0:24:01I don't mind. I'm just happy we're dancing.

0:24:01 > 0:24:03That's not a dance, it's a battle.

0:24:05 > 0:24:08'When it comes to girls, I'm on the Learning Ladder,

0:24:08 > 0:24:12'taking it one rung at a time and trying not to fall off.

0:24:12 > 0:24:14'Wish me luck.'