0:00:31 > 0:00:33Christmas is about fun,
0:00:33 > 0:00:37laughter, and seeing happiness on the faces of the people you love.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39EVERYONE TALKS AT ONCE
0:00:41 > 0:00:43'Well, that's what it's meant to be about.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46'This particular Christmas catastrophe started like this.'
0:00:46 > 0:00:49Mum!
0:00:49 > 0:00:50What? What's the matter?
0:00:50 > 0:00:52SHE SIGHS
0:00:52 > 0:00:54I thought something really serious had happened.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56It has. I can't find my skateboard.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Well, it'll be where you left it.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00Ugh...
0:01:00 > 0:01:03That's got to be the number one most annoying thing that parents say.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06If I knew where I left it, then it wouldn't be lost, would it?
0:01:06 > 0:01:08It must be in here somewhere.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Careful, Hank, those are my swimming medals.
0:01:13 > 0:01:14From when you were 11.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Right, let's just get all this tidied up.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28It's summer, so no-one should even be thinking about Christmas,
0:01:28 > 0:01:31or even saying the word.
0:01:31 > 0:01:32I'll take that, Rosa.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38OK, so, everyone loves Christmas, but no-one loves it like Mum does.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41Problem is, me and Christmas aren't such a good mix.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44I really thought that last year was going to be the perfect Christmas.
0:01:44 > 0:01:45It wasn't THAT bad.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48Great Uncle Tom still can't look a mince pie in the eye.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Don't ask!
0:01:50 > 0:01:51Maybe next year.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55- What about now?- What?
0:01:57 > 0:01:59You want the perfect Christmas,
0:01:59 > 0:02:01we'll have the perfect Christmas.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03This Saturday, I'll arrange everything.
0:02:03 > 0:02:04That's a lovely idea.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06It's a dangerous idea.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09But organising Christmas is a big responsibility.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11And that's why you should let me do it.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14Dad, remember last week, when I got my head stuck in the lift door?
0:02:14 > 0:02:15What did you say to me?
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Don't move, or you'll sever an artery.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20Yeah, but after that you said,
0:02:20 > 0:02:22"It's time you start learning about responsibility."
0:02:22 > 0:02:25Oh, yeah, he's right. I did say that, actually.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Yes, and of course I agree, in principle.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30But it's summer. You can't have Christmas in summer.
0:02:30 > 0:02:34Actually, maybe that's the perfect time to have it.
0:02:34 > 0:02:38You do tend to get a little bit stressed over Christmas.
0:02:38 > 0:02:39I don't get stressed!
0:02:39 > 0:02:41All I'm saying is that this way
0:02:41 > 0:02:45it'll be less pressure, so maybe you...we...
0:02:45 > 0:02:47could all be a little bit more chilled out.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Please, Mum. Unless you really think I can't do it.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Oh, no. Of course you can do it.
0:02:59 > 0:03:00He can't.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03- Emily.- Fine, but don't come crying to me
0:03:03 > 0:03:05when you're knocked out by a yule log.
0:03:09 > 0:03:10Hi, Mr Rock.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Hey, Hank! Hey, Hank?
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Did I miss six months?
0:03:15 > 0:03:16Is it Christmas already?
0:03:16 > 0:03:17Only in Hank Town.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20I'm organising the perfect family Christmas for my mum.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23Oh, I miss the Rock family Christmases.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25The tree, the food,
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Granny Rock body-surfing at midnight mass.
0:03:28 > 0:03:29Really? That sounds awesome!
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Yeah, she's nuts.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33Hey, why don't you come to our Christmas?
0:03:33 > 0:03:34We can be your fake family.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36I would love to! You sure your mum wouldn't mind?
0:03:36 > 0:03:38She survived my exploding mince pies,
0:03:38 > 0:03:40I'm sure she can handle an extra guest.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42- So you'll come?- Oh, yes, I will.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Aren't you supposed to be at a lesson?
0:03:44 > 0:03:46I knew I was heading somewhere!
0:03:46 > 0:03:48- Yeah.- Merry Christmas, Mr Rock.
0:03:48 > 0:03:49Merry Christmas, Hank.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57A classic Hank idea.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01Brilliant! Any excuse for me to dust off my favourite costume.
0:04:03 > 0:04:08Been wearing this every year since 1980.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10Argh! They must have shrunk in the wash.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13They haven't been washed, there's bread sauce on them.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15Then what's happened?
0:04:18 > 0:04:20That's happened. You've put on weight.
0:04:20 > 0:04:21It happens to everybody.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23Well, not everybody.
0:04:24 > 0:04:25Not possible!
0:04:25 > 0:04:28Never putting on weight is my second-best feature,
0:04:28 > 0:04:31- after my hair. - Oh, well, that'll be next.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Not to worry, I'll do you a training programme.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36Drop those inches, and get you back your ho-ho-ho!
0:04:41 > 0:04:44# Oh, what fun it is to ride
0:04:44 > 0:04:47# A one-horse open sleigh...hey! #
0:04:47 > 0:04:49This is an abomination!
0:04:49 > 0:04:52You know, you're right. It's not as good as when Granny Rock is
0:04:52 > 0:04:53on the bass, that's for sure.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56I'm referring to the fact that you're playing
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Christmas songs in the summer.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Songs out of season bring troubles without reason.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03But Hank Zipzer is putting on Christmas
0:05:03 > 0:05:04right here in summer, so...
0:05:04 > 0:05:07That boy has got no respect for tradition.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09I bet he doesn't even know to hide a glass pickle
0:05:09 > 0:05:11in the tree on Christmas Eve,
0:05:11 > 0:05:15or that a Christmas cake must be stirred anticlockwise.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17For a person who does not like Christmas,
0:05:17 > 0:05:19you know an awful lot of facts.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Why on earth would you presume I don't like Christmas?
0:05:22 > 0:05:26Well, Christmas is full of cheer and fun and laughter
0:05:26 > 0:05:28and you...
0:05:28 > 0:05:31You are filled with a lot of those things.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37One more note and it's time for the sword.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Then I say my practice is over.
0:05:49 > 0:05:53No, no, no. I can't do that every day!
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Well, you don't have to do it every day.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57You have to do 25 every day.
0:05:57 > 0:06:0025 star jumps?
0:06:00 > 0:06:02A minute of the plank?
0:06:02 > 0:06:03It's worse than the army!
0:06:03 > 0:06:05This is the programme I used when I did my marathon.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07What, the one that you were stretchered off of
0:06:07 > 0:06:10- after three miles? - The point is, it works.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12I could always make it easier for you.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14You know, if you don't think you're up to it.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17- I'm up to it. - That's what I want to hear!
0:06:17 > 0:06:18High five!
0:06:20 > 0:06:21Can that count as a star jump?
0:06:23 > 0:06:25Then I was thinking about getting a reindeer,
0:06:25 > 0:06:27but they're dead hard to find.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29So I was thinking about getting a cow, but in a fur coat.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Are you really planning to do Christmas lunch
0:06:31 > 0:06:34all by yourself, Hank? My dad always says it's really hard.
0:06:34 > 0:06:35Like, really, really hard.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Have you spoke to your mum about it yet?
0:06:37 > 0:06:39I can't. I said I can do it all by myself.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41- What about your dad? - That's no good either.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44He's all like, "Hank is definitely responsible enough, Rosa,
0:06:44 > 0:06:45"we need to trust him!"
0:06:45 > 0:06:48- Really?- Yeah. I guess Christmas miracles do happen.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50So what are you going to do?
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Make an awesome meal. I just need to work out how.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55Well, that's the hard part done, at least(!)
0:07:03 > 0:07:04Have you heard from Hank?
0:07:04 > 0:07:07I've texted him to make sure he orders the extra-thin candles
0:07:07 > 0:07:09so they fit into my special Christmas candleholder
0:07:09 > 0:07:11- and I've heard nothing. - Maybe he didn't get the text.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13He must have, because I sent it twice.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Rosa, you need to let him do this his way.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Yes, I am!
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Oh, I'll just text him again.
0:07:20 > 0:07:21Hey, what are you doing?
0:07:22 > 0:07:26Replenishing the nutrients after my work-out, like you said!
0:07:26 > 0:07:29I said eat a chicken salad, not half of Italy!
0:07:29 > 0:07:33Trust me, Stan, I've worked off at least double this!
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Feel the burn, baby!
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Pete, are you going to start taking this seriously?
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Because no pain, no gain.
0:07:39 > 0:07:40He who dares, wins!
0:07:40 > 0:07:42Pain is just weakness leaving the body.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46And eating is just pasta entering the body!
0:07:46 > 0:07:48No, no pasta!
0:07:48 > 0:07:49It's time to get serious.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51No, no...
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Give me the pasta! Give me the pasta!
0:08:03 > 0:08:05MISS ADOLF HUMS
0:08:09 > 0:08:11So, you really do like Christmas?
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Yes.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15You're not just joking with me,
0:08:15 > 0:08:17you know, like when you said I was going to be deported?
0:08:17 > 0:08:19Mr Rock, I realise that your brain
0:08:19 > 0:08:21is still very much a work in progress,
0:08:21 > 0:08:25but surely even you can grasp this simple concept -
0:08:25 > 0:08:27I like Christmas, hmm?
0:08:28 > 0:08:30SHE HUMS
0:08:35 > 0:08:37So, just explain to me. How does this work?
0:08:37 > 0:08:39What does it look like?
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Christmas morning begins with my secret recipe -
0:08:41 > 0:08:43champagne cocktails.
0:08:43 > 0:08:44Very fancy.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Vegetable peeling from eight to ten.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Stocking opening at ten, accompanied by light nibbles.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Lunch at one, to be finished promptly at three.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54I will not have any chewing over Her Majesty's Christmas speech.
0:08:54 > 0:08:58- Naturally.- 3:30, charades and other traditional Christmas activities.
0:08:58 > 0:09:017:30, a turkey sandwich and a glass of sherry
0:09:01 > 0:09:05while enjoying a nice drama involving bonnets.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09That sounds like the perfect family Christmas.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11No family, just me!
0:09:11 > 0:09:13I'm so sorry. I just assumed.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16Why would I want a house full of people making a mess
0:09:16 > 0:09:18and filling the place with noise?
0:09:18 > 0:09:22No, solitary Christmas suits me perfectly.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Absolutely perfectly.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28Now, if the inquisition is finished, some of us have work to do.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Oh, Miss A? You dropped your diary.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Miss A.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Your diary.
0:09:44 > 0:09:49School, school, school, school, school.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Worm the cat. School.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Hey, Hank. I've got to ask you a question.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03Can I bring someone to your family Christmas?
0:10:03 > 0:10:05- It's not a dog, is it? - Definitely not.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07It's just, I'm hoping there's going to be a cow there,
0:10:07 > 0:10:09and I'm pretty sure cows and dogs don't get along.
0:10:09 > 0:10:10Or is it cows and cats?
0:10:10 > 0:10:13I don't know, but I promise you it will be a human someone.
0:10:13 > 0:10:17OK. Good. So there will be us four, you, Papa Pete...
0:10:17 > 0:10:19- Papa Pete!- Yes!
0:10:19 > 0:10:21What? Are you OK?
0:10:21 > 0:10:23I need to see a man about a turkey.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Do you absolutely have to have Brussels sprouts?
0:10:29 > 0:10:31- I mean, is there a law?- No.
0:10:31 > 0:10:35But they're delicious done with crispy pancetta.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38You put them in a pan with some melted butter...
0:10:39 > 0:10:41No, I'm sorry, Hank. I can't do it.
0:10:41 > 0:10:46I just can't talk about food when your father's asking me to eat that!
0:10:46 > 0:10:49- What's in it?- My supper.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Who eats supper with a straw?
0:10:52 > 0:10:54You should go, Hank.
0:10:54 > 0:10:58Unless you want to see a grown man try to eat a table.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Actually, that sounds amazing.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10To what do I owe the misfortune?
0:11:10 > 0:11:12You dropped this in the teachers' lounge.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15Thank you. Don't know where I'd be without it. Good.
0:11:18 > 0:11:19Was there anything else?
0:11:19 > 0:11:21- No.- Good.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25Actually, I talked to Hank about his family Christmas.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28You know, it sounds like it's going to be full of fun.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30- It'll be chaos. - Why don't you find out for yourself?
0:11:32 > 0:11:36- I beg your pardon?- Come with me as my guest to his family Christmas.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38There is nothing I would rather do less,
0:11:38 > 0:11:42and I speak as someone who once accidentally went on a log flume.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Well, even if I had the slightest interest
0:11:44 > 0:11:47in attending this pantomime, I'm far too busy.
0:11:47 > 0:11:48My diary is booked weeks in advance.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Oh, it's such a shame, because I think he's covering
0:11:51 > 0:11:53every big tradition of Christmas.
0:11:53 > 0:11:57- Really?- Yeah, down to the pound coin in the prune pudding!
0:11:57 > 0:12:00It's a plum pudding, Mr Rock.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02And it must be a sixpence!
0:12:02 > 0:12:05Right, well, that's it. It's clear that I must attend.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07- Really?- Well, I can't let Henry Zipzer ride roughshod
0:12:07 > 0:12:09over centuries of tradition!
0:12:11 > 0:12:12Are you free, then, tomorrow?
0:12:12 > 0:12:16Well, I'll obviously have to cancel several important prior engagements,
0:12:16 > 0:12:20but we must all make sacrifices, Mr Rock.
0:12:20 > 0:12:21Don't I know it.
0:12:25 > 0:12:26Happy Christmas.
0:12:32 > 0:12:33Christmas Day.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44OK. I'm trying not to panic, but I've still got a lot to do.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47I haven't even finished the shopping list yet!
0:12:47 > 0:12:50All I've got so far is turkey, a large one.
0:12:50 > 0:12:51Right. Potatoes.
0:12:51 > 0:12:52How many per person? Three?
0:12:56 > 0:13:00Although, some people might have filled up on crisps first.
0:13:00 > 0:13:01That means they will only want two.
0:13:01 > 0:13:06But if they hate cheese and onion flavour, then maybe they'll...
0:13:07 > 0:13:10..extra parsnips, then they might not be able to manage
0:13:10 > 0:13:12a whole four potatoes, so...
0:13:14 > 0:13:16We're back to three.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18POTATOES GRUMBLE
0:13:23 > 0:13:25OK. Now I'm panicking.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27I can't do this all by myself!
0:13:29 > 0:13:30Oh, no.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34I need your help. BOTH: I'm way behind on everything.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37I've no idea how to cook a turkey or when I'm going to lay the table,
0:13:37 > 0:13:39or polish the special cutlery.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42Yeah, so really...
0:13:42 > 0:13:44So really, what you need is a colour-coded flow chart
0:13:44 > 0:13:47showing minute-by-minute timings for the whole of Christmas Day.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49That actually looks quite simple.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54Well, maybe not that simple, but definitely useful.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57- So you'll help?- Yes, but only because I want to spend
0:13:57 > 0:13:59one Christmas Day without someone calling the fire brigade.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02Now, your first task is to wake up early
0:14:02 > 0:14:05- to put the oven on for the turkey. - Early, oven, turkey. I've got it.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10SHE SIGHS
0:14:14 > 0:14:16ALARMS RING
0:14:17 > 0:14:18Hank!
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Item number one failed.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27Which means we're now 37 minutes behind schedule.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30I want you in that kitchen in 30 seconds!
0:14:30 > 0:14:32Someone needs some Christmas spirit.
0:14:32 > 0:14:33Rargh!
0:14:34 > 0:14:36Dad, your trousers fit you!
0:14:37 > 0:14:38Not quite.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41Well, results take time, but Pete is now totally committed.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43- Aren't you, Pete?- Absolutely.
0:14:43 > 0:14:44Ah, ah, ah!
0:14:44 > 0:14:45DOORBELL RINGS
0:14:45 > 0:14:47This will be your Christmas present, Pete.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50- I thought we weren't doing presents. - No, this is a special one.
0:14:50 > 0:14:51He's going to love it.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55With any luck, it's a bigger pair of trousers.
0:14:57 > 0:15:01Note to self - do not get stuck under the mistletoe with Miss A.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04Do not get stuck under the mistletoe with Miss A.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08I've got the shivers in the summer.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10Ta-da!
0:15:10 > 0:15:12It a treadmill! Thanks, fellas!
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Now I can make sure you're really putting the miles in.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17How much did that cost, Stan? And where's it going to go?
0:15:17 > 0:15:19It's only rented. Just until he drops the weight.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Well, that could take years!
0:15:21 > 0:15:23- Well, no offence, Dad. - DOORBELL RINGS
0:15:23 > 0:15:26What's that? Someone coming to put an assault course
0:15:26 > 0:15:27round the dining table?
0:15:27 > 0:15:30At least it'll make it harder for Pete to get to the food.
0:15:30 > 0:15:31Hasn't anyone got the door?
0:15:31 > 0:15:33It'll be my guest.
0:15:34 > 0:15:35- Guest?- Guest?
0:15:38 > 0:15:40Merry Christmas!
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Wow, you don't look like you're expecting me.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46I'm just glad you're not delivering a rowing machine.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49- Of course we're expecting you, Mr Rock. Come in!- Yes.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51No, completely, hello, welcome.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Hi. Listen, my guest is going to be here in just a little while.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55Oh, more people. Wonderful!
0:15:55 > 0:15:59- Rosa, don't get stressed. - No, I'm not stressed at all, no.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01It's just, you know, I really want to make sure
0:16:01 > 0:16:04- there's enough food for everyone. - That is very important.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07We're still OK. But any more Hank surprises,
0:16:07 > 0:16:09I'm going to have to implement the PPP limit.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Parsnips per person.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Ah.
0:16:14 > 0:16:15I promise, just Christmas fun.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18See, Rosa? Just Christmas fun.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Right, Katherine, I need you to keep a close eye on this gravy.
0:16:28 > 0:16:29No lumps.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Right, Hank. I need you to do number 132 -
0:16:33 > 0:16:35add salt to the pans of vegetables.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37I haven't done number 127 yet.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39- Well, what was that? - I have no idea, but whatever it was,
0:16:39 > 0:16:42- I haven't done it.- Number 127.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44- Peel the sprouts.- Oh, OK.
0:16:44 > 0:16:45Well, I've half done that.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48I was trying to finish off my winter wonderland decorations
0:16:48 > 0:16:49at the same time, so...
0:16:51 > 0:16:55Cute, aren't they? I can use them as little tiny snowballs.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57Hank. I need you to focus.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59On important things,
0:16:59 > 0:17:01like number 132.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03Just remind me what that was again.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05DOORBELL RINGS
0:17:05 > 0:17:07That'll be my surprise.
0:17:07 > 0:17:08Hank, what did I say?
0:17:08 > 0:17:10No more surprises.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Trust me, I might have had to abandon the cow,
0:17:12 > 0:17:14but this is brilliant.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20That's right, Pete! Stride it out!
0:17:20 > 0:17:22- MR ROCK:- Oh, my goodness, this is so relaxing!
0:17:22 > 0:17:25- ROSA:- Oh, yeah. There's nothing like having your dad
0:17:25 > 0:17:28run the 10,000 metres in your lounge on Christmas Day!
0:17:29 > 0:17:31OK, one more set and then we'll up the gradient.
0:17:31 > 0:17:32And stride!
0:17:32 > 0:17:34And stride! And...
0:17:34 > 0:17:36- What are you doing?- Water break.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Like you said, Stan -
0:17:38 > 0:17:40motivation, determination, hydration.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Yes, I made that up myself.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45- EMILY:- Hank! You're supposed to be helping Katherine with the parsnips.
0:17:47 > 0:17:48Would you excuse me, Mr Rock?
0:17:48 > 0:17:51I've just got to go and help out in the kitchen.
0:17:51 > 0:17:52- Be my guest.- Rosa, no, you don't!
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Just let them get on with it.
0:17:54 > 0:17:55Am I right, Mr Rock?
0:17:56 > 0:17:58I love this pillow.
0:17:58 > 0:18:02You know, you really do need to be less controlling.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05Pete! Put down that potato!
0:18:05 > 0:18:08Am I controlling, Mr Rock?
0:18:08 > 0:18:11The needlepoint is so dainty.
0:18:11 > 0:18:12I think.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17Ah, Merry Christmas, gentlemen.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20Well, don't just stand there!
0:18:20 > 0:18:22This isn't exactly a summer outfit, you know.
0:18:22 > 0:18:23Go on, chop chop!
0:18:25 > 0:18:27Thank you. No manners.
0:18:29 > 0:18:33Open your mouth. Did you or did you not just eat a roast potato
0:18:33 > 0:18:36despite knowing that they're on the banned substance list?
0:18:36 > 0:18:38I didn't eat a roast potato.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41I ate two! Because I love food!
0:18:41 > 0:18:46They're going to have to come out of your allocated portion, Papa Pete.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Do you want to be a quitter, Pete?
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Is that what you want to be? Well, guess what?
0:18:50 > 0:18:52I am your coach and I say when you quit!
0:18:52 > 0:18:54Wow, now who's being controlling, Stan?
0:18:54 > 0:18:57I'm only being controlling because your father can't control himself!
0:18:57 > 0:18:59OK. Let's think happy Christmas thoughts, everyone.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02Like reindeers and holly and bells and presents!
0:19:02 > 0:19:05- EMILY:- Hank.- What?
0:19:05 > 0:19:07We're now 41 minutes behind schedule.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09I still need you to do 164 -
0:19:09 > 0:19:11- pour the gravy into the serving jug. - I'm doing it!
0:19:13 > 0:19:15The plan! It's ruined!
0:19:15 > 0:19:16Hank, you're so clumsy!
0:19:16 > 0:19:18I'm just trying my best. ALARM RINGS
0:19:18 > 0:19:20I'm sorry I'm not perfect like you, Emily!
0:19:20 > 0:19:23I feel myself going weak with hunger, Rosa.
0:19:23 > 0:19:27- He could have died, Stan! - Yes, I could have died, Stan!
0:19:27 > 0:19:28There's gravy everywhere!
0:19:28 > 0:19:30...potatoes, we're on a strict diet!
0:19:30 > 0:19:32Guys.
0:19:32 > 0:19:33EVERYONE TALKS AT ONCE
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Zipzers!
0:19:35 > 0:19:37- MISS ADOLF:- # The playing of the merry organ
0:19:37 > 0:19:39# Sweet singing in the choir... #
0:19:39 > 0:19:41What is that?
0:19:41 > 0:19:44# The holly and the ivy
0:19:44 > 0:19:46# When they are both full grown
0:19:46 > 0:19:49# Of all trees that are in the wood
0:19:49 > 0:19:52# The holly bears the crown
0:19:52 > 0:19:55# The rising of the sun
0:19:55 > 0:19:58# And the running of the deer
0:19:58 > 0:20:00# The playing of the merry organ
0:20:00 > 0:20:03# Sweet singing in the choir. #
0:20:06 > 0:20:08Christmas cheer comes in so many forms!
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Merry Christmas, Miss Adolf.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12And to you, Henry.
0:20:12 > 0:20:13Normally at this time,
0:20:13 > 0:20:16I like to read a passage from A Christmas Carol.
0:20:18 > 0:20:19Nice.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Emily. Can I speak to you in my room?
0:20:29 > 0:20:31I'm sorry for over-sleeping, and glittering the sprouts,
0:20:31 > 0:20:33and drowning the plan in gravy.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36Everything. I want to pull this off for Mum,
0:20:36 > 0:20:38and I know we can do it if we work together.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42I do have a backup copy of the plan.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44You do?
0:20:44 > 0:20:45But how did you know I'd ruin it?
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Fair enough.
0:20:49 > 0:20:50Let's go.
0:21:06 > 0:21:10"Bob said he didn't believe there ever was such a goose cooked.
0:21:10 > 0:21:15"Eked out by apple sauce and mashed potatoes,
0:21:15 > 0:21:19"it was a sufficient dinner for the whole family."
0:21:19 > 0:21:22What a lovely and long story!
0:21:22 > 0:21:24What lovely food.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28Are you really that hungry?
0:21:28 > 0:21:31If you were covered in gravy, I'd eat you.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35OK, look. You can enjoy Christmas today,
0:21:35 > 0:21:40but tomorrow we are straight back on the programme, OK?
0:21:40 > 0:21:42No, we've lost him.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45A Merry Christmas to us all, my dears.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48- Merry Christmas.- Merry Christmas. - Buon Natale!
0:21:48 > 0:21:50OK, everyone. Time for lunch!
0:21:50 > 0:21:53- EMILY:- Hank, wait for me. You get the gravy, I'll get the potatoes.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56So that must have been wonderful, to have an audience
0:21:56 > 0:21:58to share that story for once.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01Poppycock. Makes no difference whatsoever.
0:22:01 > 0:22:02Of course not.
0:22:05 > 0:22:06- ROSA:- Wow!
0:22:09 > 0:22:11Oh, Hank.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14This really is the perfect Christmas!
0:22:14 > 0:22:16You've pulled it off! I knew you would.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18STAN SNORTS
0:22:18 > 0:22:21- MR ROCK:- You know what, Hank? You did a magnificent job.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24- Yeah.- Well, I couldn't have done any of it without Emily.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27- And Katherine. - Well, it looks great.- Yeah.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30You haven't seen anything yet. Emily, give me a hand.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35A snow machine? Is that a good idea?
0:22:35 > 0:22:38- When is snow not a good idea? - It's amazing.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41- MR ROCK:- You know what? I can't wait to get those parsnips.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44It says for a room this size, we need level two.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Level two? I'm putting this baby on ten!
0:22:47 > 0:22:49I'll get the turkey while it warms up.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53I tried to tell him.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56- Oh, wow!- That's lovely, that.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00Oh, wow! How beautiful!
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Snowing inside!
0:23:02 > 0:23:04- ROSA:- Amazing!
0:23:08 > 0:23:10- Hank, no!- Get it off!
0:23:12 > 0:23:14THEY SHOUT
0:23:27 > 0:23:30I was so close to giving Mum her perfect Christmas.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34Well, for once I'm not in the firing line.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36BEEPING
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Watch out for the snow, Hank!
0:23:44 > 0:23:45OK.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Sprouts with your turkey, anyone?
0:23:51 > 0:23:53- Festivals! - Are you trying to recruit us
0:23:53 > 0:23:56- for your survival camp again, Miss? - Naturally.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58- Rockstival? - We have to go to that festival.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01- What do you want from me? - I want in.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03- A festival?- I still don't see how we're going to get out of camp
0:24:03 > 0:24:06- without Miss Adolf seeing us. - Don't do that!
0:24:06 > 0:24:08Are you worried you're not the only party animal?
0:24:08 > 0:24:09Chop chop! All three of you.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12- Quickly.- Help!
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Argh!
0:24:14 > 0:24:15- What's that?- It's coming!
0:24:15 > 0:24:16Run!
0:24:16 > 0:24:18You just make it so easy.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21- It's beginner's luck.- Hank?!