0:00:02 > 0:00:05# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing
0:00:05 > 0:00:08# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king
0:00:08 > 0:00:10# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo
0:00:10 > 0:00:13# You'd better turn off, this show ain't for you
0:00:13 > 0:00:18# Still watching? Then let's test your brains
0:00:18 > 0:00:20# With Horrible History's Gory Games... #
0:00:24 > 0:00:27Hello, and welcome to Gory Games with me, Dave Lamb.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29And me, Rattus Rattus.
0:00:29 > 0:00:32This is the show where you get to test your knowledge
0:00:32 > 0:00:36of Horrible Histories, with truly gruesome, gory games.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Yes, so if you're of a nervous disposition,
0:00:38 > 0:00:42a bit squeamish or easily shocked, then this show is not for you.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45Right, that should got rid of the parents. On with the programme.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48Yes, let's meet today's Horrible Historians.
0:00:48 > 0:00:49Hi, I'm Lukas.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51Hi, I'm Zoe.
0:00:51 > 0:00:52Hi, I'm TJ.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Right, just to get us in the mood,
0:00:54 > 0:00:58I've prepared a little warm-up game from the Georgian era.
0:00:58 > 0:01:02- Rattus, tell me this isn't another one of your hare-brained ideas.- No.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04It's a genuine Georgian game
0:01:04 > 0:01:09from the Highland Games of the 1820s. It's called Twisting the Cow.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11- Twisting the Cow?!- Mm.
0:01:11 > 0:01:15In front of our four players is a cow carcass.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17All they have to do is twist its legs off.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Er, sorry, our contestants can't do that.
0:01:20 > 0:01:21Course they can.
0:01:21 > 0:01:25The cow carcass is really rotten, so the legs will practically drop off.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28No, what I mean is they can't do that because it's disgusting.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31Sorry, Big Tony, can you help me get this out of here, please?
0:01:31 > 0:01:33I'm not having this.
0:01:33 > 0:01:34FLESH TEARING
0:01:34 > 0:01:37- We have a winner!- Ooh.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Right, I'm going to need a new shirt, and when I get back
0:01:40 > 0:01:43I do not want to see this useless carcass.
0:01:43 > 0:01:44Or a dead cow.
0:01:48 > 0:01:53Lukas, Zoe and TJ, you are playing to win Year Spheres.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56Each Year Sphere contains a date. At the end of the show,
0:01:56 > 0:01:58your Year Sphere dates will be added up,
0:01:58 > 0:02:01with AD dates being added to your total
0:02:01 > 0:02:04and BC dates being subtracted from it.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07If these were your Year Spheres, your total would be...
0:02:07 > 0:02:09- Rattus?- Er, four?
0:02:09 > 0:02:13Oh, dear. It's 735, actually. Did you even go to school?
0:02:13 > 0:02:16I lived in a sewer near a school, if that counts.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18- It counts better than you do.- Oi!
0:02:18 > 0:02:22At the end of the show, the person with the highest year score
0:02:22 > 0:02:24will win a prize to take home and keep.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27One picked out by my fair paws.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29So it's probably one to take home and throw away.
0:02:29 > 0:02:33Right, let's get cracking, and, to find out what this round's about,
0:02:33 > 0:02:35it's over to the Gory Grid.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38It's the Rotten Romans.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42So, four questions on the Rotten Romans coming up.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46The person who gets the most right wins the Year Sphere.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49Your four Roman topics are...
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Lukas, please pick away.
0:02:55 > 0:02:59Er, I pick...Emperors.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01True or false?
0:03:01 > 0:03:05Emperor Domitian was so scared of being stabbed in the back,
0:03:05 > 0:03:08he stood with his back against the wall, all day long.
0:03:08 > 0:03:09So, true or false?
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Let's have a look at those answers.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Everybody has gone for true.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Let's find out if you're all right or all wrong.
0:03:17 > 0:03:18It's false.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22But he did have the walls of his palace polished like mirrors,
0:03:22 > 0:03:24so he could see behind him.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27That's no points so far. Plenty of time to catch up.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29- Ever worried someone's after your job?- Not likely.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32They'd have to work with you, Rattus.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35- Zoe, it's your turn to pick a topic. - I pick Luck.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41True or false, we Roman ladies believed it was good luck
0:03:41 > 0:03:44to comb our hair with the spear of a dead gladiator.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Show me your answers, everyone.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50Everyone's gone for true again.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53They agreed last time and were wrong. And this time?
0:03:53 > 0:03:57It's true. Though it wasn't such good luck for the gladiator.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00No, absolutely not. Excellent. We're all off the mark.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03TJ, it's your turn to pick a topic.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Executions.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Is this true or false?
0:04:16 > 0:04:18Let's have a look at those answers.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Everybody's gone for true again.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25I can tell you...
0:04:25 > 0:04:29it's true, the wasps would sting him to death.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33- Please do not try this at home. - Not even with your PE teacher.
0:04:33 > 0:04:34Not even with him.
0:04:34 > 0:04:39Look at that. Two points apiece with one topic left to go.
0:04:39 > 0:04:43The last topic is Parents, and that is a question from Rattus Rattus.
0:04:43 > 0:04:47If a Roman child angered their father,
0:04:47 > 0:04:50then the father could sell them off as a slave.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Is that true or false?
0:04:53 > 0:04:56- Oh!- They've all gone for true.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Three true answers again.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01Rattus, put us out of our misery. Are they right or wrong?
0:05:01 > 0:05:02It's true.
0:05:02 > 0:05:07And if they were really angry, the father could have the child executed!
0:05:07 > 0:05:10So next time you're badly behaved, be glad your parents aren't Roman.
0:05:10 > 0:05:15OK, well, you've drawn, seeing as you've agreed on everything.
0:05:15 > 0:05:19Three points apiece. That means we go to the buzzer tie-breaker.
0:05:19 > 0:05:23First one to buzz in and give me the correct answer wins the Year Sphere.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Beginning with the letter G,
0:05:26 > 0:05:28what name was given to specially trained warriors
0:05:28 > 0:05:30who fought in the Colosseum?
0:05:30 > 0:05:32- TOILET FLUSHING - TJ.- Gladiator.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36Gladiator is absolutely right. TJ, you've won the quiz.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39It's time to choose your Year Sphere from our trolley wally.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43All right, TJ? Pick your Year Sphere.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Nobody knows which one contains which date, but be warned,
0:05:46 > 0:05:50one could be a Stone Age date, worth millions of minus points.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Are you sure that's the one you want?
0:05:52 > 0:05:55- Yeah.- OK, I'm off. Push, push, push...
0:05:55 > 0:05:58So, winning the quiz means that TJ is automatically through to play
0:05:58 > 0:06:02the Roman game, but will he be alone or will everyone get to play?
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Let's find out.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10It's an All Play Gory Game.
0:06:10 > 0:06:14So that means it's off down the time sewer with the lot of you.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Go on, TJ, lead the way.
0:06:16 > 0:06:20- See you, Dave.- Bye. See you, Zoe. - Bye.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22- See ya!- See you, Lukas.
0:06:22 > 0:06:26The Roman Empire didn't get so big without the Romans being ruthless.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28It's time to play...
0:06:31 > 0:06:34When attacking an enemy fortress, Roman armies would use catapults
0:06:34 > 0:06:37to lob in rocks, beehives and - wait for it -
0:06:37 > 0:06:41the severed heads of any defenders they'd captured.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44Fire as many missiles into your fortress target as possible.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Ready, steady...
0:06:46 > 0:06:48- HORN BLARING - So, it's Savage Siege.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51What they have to do is catapult different objects into the basket.
0:06:51 > 0:06:55- There's a head on the way now. - Oh! TJ's got one in straight away.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58A decapitated head has been flicked into a basket,
0:06:58 > 0:06:59and that's a cause for celebration.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02They've got lots of different objects.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04There's Lukas loading a rock.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07A beehive, which he's going to attempt to fling in, TJ.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09That's fallen short, but he's got a head in.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11So he's in the lead by a HEAD, Rattus!
0:07:11 > 0:07:15- Ha-ha, quite literally, Dave. - Absolutely. By two heads!
0:07:15 > 0:07:18There's a second head, landing nicely.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21Well, it's an excellent start from TJ.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24It's a decent start from Lukas, he's landed one there in his net.
0:07:24 > 0:07:25Here, he lines up a head.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Oh, that scores two. They're neck and neck, well, head and head.
0:07:28 > 0:07:32Now, Zoe, that's a better effort. She's put that into TJ's basket!
0:07:32 > 0:07:37- Oh no!- Oh, well, that won't count, Rattus, and why should it?
0:07:37 > 0:07:39You know it wasn't him who put it in there.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42And TJ's putting plenty in there himself, isn't he?
0:07:42 > 0:07:45He's forged ahead of Lukas, who's dropped back dramatically.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49- TJ's on the point of mastering this, isn't he, Rattus?- He is, Dave.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52The skill to this game appears to me to be your pull on the catapult
0:07:52 > 0:07:56in relation to the weight of the object being catapulted,
0:07:56 > 0:07:58with the stones weighing twice as much as the head
0:07:58 > 0:08:02and the beehive being variable, depending on the number of bees.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05Superb analysis, that, Rattus.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07That's years of experience coming from Rattus.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Ooh, one bouncing out from TJ.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12- One miles over the top from Lukas. Extraordinary. - BELL CHIMES
0:08:12 > 0:08:15- There's the bell. - 30 second remaining.
0:08:15 > 0:08:1730 seconds, the disembodied voice agrees with me.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21Is this the beginning of a comeback for Lukas? There's one for Zoe.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24Finally she lands one, and TJ re-establishes his lead.
0:08:24 > 0:08:28Clear blue water for TJ. Another one for TJ. Extraordinary effort!
0:08:28 > 0:08:31Zoe pops another one in his basket. That won't count either.
0:08:31 > 0:08:35Lukas suddenly finds himself miles behind. TJ, eight points scored now.
0:08:35 > 0:08:40An extraordinary effort. What an aim this man has. Nine stones!
0:08:40 > 0:08:43- Extraordinary scenes here. - HORN BLARING
0:08:43 > 0:08:44Time's up!
0:08:44 > 0:08:47- It's all over.- It's all over. - It's all over.
0:08:47 > 0:08:48The savage siege is at an end.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52The heads, the rocks and the hives fall silent.
0:08:52 > 0:08:53And TJ is king of catapults.
0:08:53 > 0:08:57That was tremendously exciting, but way out in front was TJ.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Please collect your Year Sphere.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03You were absolutely brilliant at that.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07And, Zoe, TJ was doing well enough on his own without your help.
0:09:07 > 0:09:08What happened there?
0:09:08 > 0:09:10I don't know, I think my aim was off.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13And Lukas, you started off with an absolute rocket, didn't you?
0:09:13 > 0:09:16- Yeah, but...- It was good. - It just went wrong.- It went wrong?
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Are you blaming your equipment?
0:09:18 > 0:09:21- Yes.- Good, it's the equipment's fault.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23So, to find out what's next, it's over to the Gory Grid.
0:09:23 > 0:09:27It's the Vile Victorians. Good day!
0:09:27 > 0:09:29Ah, so four questions again,
0:09:29 > 0:09:32and here are your all-important Victorian topics.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41- Zoe, it's your turn to pick first this time.- Schools.
0:09:41 > 0:09:45How were you punished in a Victorian school
0:09:45 > 0:09:48if you left ink blots and finger marks on your work?
0:09:54 > 0:09:58So, is it A, B or C? Let's have a look at those answers.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Everybody has gone with A.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04Well, let's find out if they're all right or all wrong.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07The answer is A, you were caned.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Usually with an especially thin cane, because they hurt more.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13You weren't put to death, even Victorian schools weren't that bad.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Thankfully, they weren't that bad.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18TJ, it's your turn to pick a topic.
0:10:18 > 0:10:19Um...
0:10:19 > 0:10:21Gadgets.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24Prop question, prop question!
0:10:24 > 0:10:27This is a genuine Victorian gadget,
0:10:27 > 0:10:30but what was it for? Was it...
0:10:30 > 0:10:33A, a backside protector for schoolboys when they were caned?
0:10:33 > 0:10:34RATTUS CACKLES
0:10:34 > 0:10:36He loves all that stuff.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39Was it B, a belly warmer for coach drivers?
0:10:39 > 0:10:41RATTUS CACKLES
0:10:41 > 0:10:43Bums and tums, loves them both.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46Or was it C, a headache cure?
0:10:46 > 0:10:48So, show me now.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53And at last, they have disagreed on something.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56The actual correct answer is...
0:10:56 > 0:10:57B.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00It was a belly warmer for coach drivers,
0:11:00 > 0:11:03so Lukas picks up the point.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05Do you know the best way to keep your belly warm?
0:11:05 > 0:11:08- What's that?- Plenty of fur.
0:11:08 > 0:11:09Not something we can all do.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12Lukas, it's your turn to pick a topic.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15- Crimean War.- Crimean War?
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Rattus, in your own time.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Which of these items of clothing
0:11:19 > 0:11:22does not take its name from the Crimean War?
0:11:30 > 0:11:33OK, let's see your answers now, please.
0:11:35 > 0:11:39Zoe and TJ agreeing on B, Lukas out on his own again on C.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42Rattus, which is it?
0:11:42 > 0:11:44The answer is...
0:11:44 > 0:11:47B, the Wellington boot.
0:11:47 > 0:11:51Named after the Duke of Wellington, famous from the Battle of Waterloo.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54And that wasn't part of the Crimean war.
0:11:54 > 0:11:58The cardigan was invented by the Crimean officer Lord Cardigan,
0:11:58 > 0:12:01and the balaclava was named after
0:12:01 > 0:12:04the famous Crimean battle of Balaklava.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07Oh, I've just come over all brainy again!
0:12:07 > 0:12:08THUD!
0:12:08 > 0:12:10At last, a bit of peace and quiet.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12- I'm up again!- Couldn't last.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15Never mind. Everyone on two points, excellent.
0:12:15 > 0:12:20Last question this round is on Parlour Maids, and here it comes.
0:12:20 > 0:12:24A parlour maid in a posh Victorian house had to work long days,
0:12:24 > 0:12:26but just how long were their days?
0:12:32 > 0:12:37So, a parlour maid had to work very long hours, but just how long?
0:12:37 > 0:12:40Let's see your answers now, please.
0:12:40 > 0:12:44Well, Lukas an Zoe agreeing on C, TJ striking out on his own on B.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47The answer is C.
0:12:47 > 0:12:51Maids worked 16 hours a day from 6.30am till 10.30pm.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54But they did get paid nearly £6.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56That's a year, obviously, not per hour.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58I'd have done it for that.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Lukas and Zoe, it's fingers-on-buzzers time,
0:13:01 > 0:13:04to decide the fate of the Year Sphere.
0:13:04 > 0:13:08Beginning with the letter S, what did all children have to attend...
0:13:08 > 0:13:09SNEEZING
0:13:09 > 0:13:11- Lukas.- School.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13School is correct. Well done, Lukas.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15You've just won your first Year Sphere.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20As the quiz winner, you're also through to play the Victorian game,
0:13:20 > 0:13:23but will it be just you or will the others get to play too?
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Let's find out.
0:13:28 > 0:13:32It's a Single Play Brainy Game, so I hope your brain's feeling ready.
0:13:32 > 0:13:36Lukas, get yourself down that Time Sewer.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38LUKAS GRUNTS
0:13:40 > 0:13:45Isambard Kingdom Brunel - designer, engineer, visionary
0:13:45 > 0:13:47and rubbish magician.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51Yes, back in 1843, one of the Victorian age's greatest minds
0:13:51 > 0:13:54got a coin stuck in his throat while doing a magic trick.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57He eventually managed to dislodge it using a clever device.
0:13:57 > 0:13:58It's time to play...
0:14:00 > 0:14:04Your challenge it to work out which cog goes where.
0:14:04 > 0:14:05Once they're in the right place,
0:14:05 > 0:14:07you can turn the wheel to flip Brunel upside down
0:14:07 > 0:14:10to dislodge the coin and win your Year Sphere.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13But be quick - you're against the clock, which is starting to tick...
0:14:13 > 0:14:16now!
0:14:16 > 0:14:17HORN BLARES
0:14:17 > 0:14:21So, Lukas is underway on this Barmy Brunel challenge.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23He's got a very small one in his hand.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Well, that's not going to go in there.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28I can't imagine he'll leave it there. Oh, he left it there.
0:14:28 > 0:14:32I'm not entirely sure he understands the principle of cog mechanisms.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35Yes, I don't think you'll get Brunel moving very far
0:14:35 > 0:14:39with that tiny little fella lying next to the main crank cog.
0:14:39 > 0:14:40There's Brunel, lying there.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43He's not going to be doing anything, I don't think.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46Dave, I have to say, "a technological marvel"
0:14:46 > 0:14:49is just one of the phrases that does not describe this machine.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Have to agree with you at the moment.
0:14:51 > 0:14:56Mind you, having said that, once the cogs are in the right place,
0:14:56 > 0:14:57it definitely does work.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59The trouble is,
0:14:59 > 0:15:02Lukas doesn't seem to understand the basic principles here.
0:15:02 > 0:15:06That's not touching anything. That's not going anywhere.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08It's looking grim for Barmy Brunel.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Yep.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13No...that's not going to work.
0:15:13 > 0:15:14DAVE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:15:14 > 0:15:16DAVE SIGHS
0:15:16 > 0:15:19Rattus, pass me that letter.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Maybe now's a good time to mention,
0:15:21 > 0:15:23we've had a lovely cake sent in, Rattus,
0:15:23 > 0:15:26by a Mrs Jones of East Grinstead.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29It's a strawberry cake and we're delighted to receive it,
0:15:29 > 0:15:32so thank you, Mrs Jones. We'll have that with a cup of tea later.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34- Was that the one with blue icing? - It was.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36I just found that a bit odd.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38- What do you mean? Have you eaten it? - Mm.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40That's a shame. I was looking forward to that.
0:15:40 > 0:15:4330 seconds remaining.
0:15:43 > 0:15:47So just 30 cake-free seconds remaining now. Thank you, Rattus(!)
0:15:47 > 0:15:50And it's not happening for poor old Lukas.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53It's very different, though, isn't it, Rattus,
0:15:53 > 0:15:58when you're there, under the lights, the pressure of the moment's on you.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01It's all very well sitting up here and, er...seeing how it works
0:16:01 > 0:16:05- but if you're down there it's a different story.- Quite right, Dave.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07It's just not going to work out for him here,
0:16:07 > 0:16:09- I think he's running out of time now.- Time's up!
0:16:09 > 0:16:14And he has...run out of time, so poor Barmy Brunel
0:16:14 > 0:16:17is going to have to choke to death and it's all Lukas's fault.
0:16:17 > 0:16:18Not really.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23Welcome back, Lukas. Take your place behind the podium.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25No Year Sphere, I'm afraid.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Brunel designed all sorts of amazing things,
0:16:27 > 0:16:29including what was - at the time -
0:16:29 > 0:16:32the biggest ship in the entire world,
0:16:32 > 0:16:34the SS Great Eastern.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36Sadly, when the ship was launched,
0:16:36 > 0:16:38the engine room exploded, killing six people.
0:16:38 > 0:16:42The horror of the explosion gave Brunel heart problems and he died.
0:16:42 > 0:16:46- That's not funny at all!- I know, we should probably move on.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49Over to the Gory Grid to find out who's up next.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51It's the Terrible Tudors.
0:16:51 > 0:16:55Four questions as always and here are your four Tudor topics.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02- TJ, it's your turn to lead off. - Executions.
0:17:02 > 0:17:03Executions.
0:17:03 > 0:17:08How many executions was I responsible for in my lifetime?
0:17:08 > 0:17:09Was it...
0:17:16 > 0:17:19It is A, B or C? Show me now.
0:17:20 > 0:17:21Interesting.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23The answer is...
0:17:26 > 0:17:30Which, coincidentally, is roughly my daily intake of calories.
0:17:30 > 0:17:31- HE FARTS - Oh.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Revolting.
0:17:33 > 0:17:34So, TJ, what a start.
0:17:34 > 0:17:361-0 up.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Lukas, it's your turn to pick a topic.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40Er, Jobs.
0:17:40 > 0:17:45What did my Groom of the Stool have to do?
0:17:45 > 0:17:48A, look after all my royal furniture?
0:17:48 > 0:17:50B, wipe my bottom?
0:17:50 > 0:17:54Or, C, help me up on to my horse?
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Let's have a look at those answers.
0:17:56 > 0:18:00So Lukas and TJ agreeing on B. Zoe going out on her own with C.
0:18:00 > 0:18:04The answer is B. He had to wipe my bottom.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07Which was a busy job, given how much I like to eat.
0:18:07 > 0:18:08HE FARTS
0:18:08 > 0:18:09Oh!
0:18:09 > 0:18:13It sounds dreadful, but Groom of the Stool was a sought-after position,
0:18:13 > 0:18:16because it meant that you were close to the king.
0:18:16 > 0:18:17But much too close!
0:18:17 > 0:18:19HE LAUGHS
0:18:19 > 0:18:20THEY ALL LAUGH
0:18:20 > 0:18:22In many cases, much too close.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Zoe, pick a topic.
0:18:26 > 0:18:27Erm, Cures.
0:18:27 > 0:18:31Hope you're feeling brainy. Here's my question...
0:18:34 > 0:18:37A, swallowing powdered human skull?
0:18:37 > 0:18:40B, licking a live toad?
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Or, C, eating minced rat brains?
0:18:45 > 0:18:50Zoe and TJ going for A, Lukas out on his own with C.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52The answer is...
0:18:52 > 0:18:55A, swallowing powdered human skull.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Hope you got it right!
0:18:57 > 0:18:58Wow.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01How they worked out that swallowing powdered human skull
0:19:01 > 0:19:04would make you feel LESS sick, I have no idea.
0:19:04 > 0:19:09OK. TJ has an unassailable lead. He's 3-1-1 up.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11Collect yourself a Year Sphere, TJ.
0:19:13 > 0:19:17So, TJ, you are through to play the Tudor game
0:19:17 > 0:19:21but will it be All Play or will it be you playing all on your own?
0:19:21 > 0:19:22Let's find out.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29It's an All Play Brainy Game.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32Well, it's time for you all to clear off down the Time Sewer.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Lead the way, TJ.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37- Bye, Dave.- Bye, TJ. I love the way you say goodbye to me every time.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39- Bye, Dave!- Goodbye, Zoe!
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Elizabeth I liked to look good.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44Only problem was, she didn't look good.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Her skin had been trashed by smallpox and lead-based make-up,
0:19:47 > 0:19:50so she preferred to have portraits of her younger self copied
0:19:50 > 0:19:53rather than have artists paint how she really looked.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55It's time to play...
0:19:58 > 0:20:02You have to assemble two perfect copies of an Elizabeth portrait.
0:20:02 > 0:20:06The problem is your two puzzles are made from differently shaped pieces.
0:20:06 > 0:20:07Fiendish!
0:20:07 > 0:20:12Complete your puzzles quicker than the others to win the Year Sphere.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15In 3...2...1...
0:20:15 > 0:20:17HORN BLARES
0:20:17 > 0:20:19And they're off.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23They've got to build two identical portraits of Queen Elizabeth here
0:20:23 > 0:20:28but the pieces for the two pictures are cut in different ways,
0:20:28 > 0:20:31so it's a real problem for the mind, this one.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33A real problem for the mind.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35Zoe making an easy start. Lovely.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38It's a considered start there, Dave, isn't it?
0:20:38 > 0:20:41It really is. It really is.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43TJ there has a first piece in place. It's a big piece.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46He's gone for the centre of the picture, her fizzog.
0:20:46 > 0:20:50It's a lovely technique, that, to get those big pieces down early.
0:20:50 > 0:20:56I have to say, Zoe seems to be doing extraordinarily well, Rattus.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59She is, she's storming ahead here.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Come on, boys!
0:21:01 > 0:21:04I could've painted a portrait quicker than this!
0:21:04 > 0:21:07Granted, it would have been a bit rubbish.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Come on, Zoe. Come on, Zoe!
0:21:09 > 0:21:12She's doing extremely well here. Look at this.
0:21:12 > 0:21:16I can see the queen's head twice, there, and I haven't been drinking.
0:21:16 > 0:21:17That is a tremendous effort.
0:21:17 > 0:21:22Look at this, she's absolutely steaming along here.
0:21:22 > 0:21:23Come on, Zoe!
0:21:23 > 0:21:27I don't think the boys have actually seen how fast Zoe's doing here.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29They're almost napping!
0:21:29 > 0:21:32Yeah, I can see an awful lot of empty, yellow space there
0:21:32 > 0:21:35and quite a lot of green space as well, whereas Zoe is there.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37She's actually done it!
0:21:37 > 0:21:41Well, congratulations, Zoe. That is fantastic.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45Welcome back. Zoe, collect your Year Sphere.
0:21:47 > 0:21:50- I hope it's a good one! - I'm not very good at puzzles.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53Not bad at mazes though, from my years as a lab rat,
0:21:53 > 0:21:56when they tested intelligence-improving drugs on me.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58- The drugs didn't work, then? - No.- No.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00Time for the final round.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03Over to the Gory Grid one last time to find out what we've got.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06It's the Vicious Vikings.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08No quiz in our final round,
0:22:08 > 0:22:11it's straight to our big All Play Viking Endgame.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14And it's a scary one!
0:22:14 > 0:22:17Everyone, get back down that Time Sewer, now!
0:22:17 > 0:22:19- Bye, Dave!- Bye, TJ!
0:22:19 > 0:22:21- Bye, Dave!- Bye!
0:22:23 > 0:22:28It's 793 AD and the peaceful tranquillity
0:22:28 > 0:22:30of the island monastery of Lindisfarne
0:22:30 > 0:22:31is about to come to an end.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33And how! It's time to play...
0:22:36 > 0:22:40You are defenceless monks.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Your only hope of survival is the Vikings won't find you.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45Every time you step on a sinking, squeaking wooden panel,
0:22:45 > 0:22:47you'll be sent back to the start.
0:22:47 > 0:22:51Reach the end of the path and you're faced with two doors.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53Behind one is freedom.
0:22:53 > 0:22:54Behind the other is...
0:22:54 > 0:22:55Hrrargh!
0:22:55 > 0:22:56..a Viking.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59Find him and you have to start all over again.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02First person to escape wins the Year Sphere. Ready...
0:23:02 > 0:23:03steady...
0:23:03 > 0:23:04HORN BLARES
0:23:04 > 0:23:07So here we go then, with Viking Attack.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09And they all got it wrong straight away.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12Extremely wrong, there. Everyone back to the start!
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Completely wrong-footed themselves, literally.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18They literally did exactly that. Look at that monk in the background.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21Oh, ho! He was sinister. They're not sinister, though,
0:23:21 > 0:23:25they're peace-loving people. I don't know why we fear them. There's one!
0:23:25 > 0:23:30Anyway, back to the game. It's a very, very cagey game, this.
0:23:30 > 0:23:34I've not seen anyone patent the "dab" technique yet,
0:23:34 > 0:23:37which I think we'd have to outlaw, where you dab your foot down
0:23:37 > 0:23:40at the panel that's in front of you, just to see if it's going to move.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43Sensibly, they haven't tried that.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45But look at Lukas, he seems to be doing well here.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48He's made it well over halfway already.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50There he is... Oh! You see it go down there.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52That's what happens -
0:23:52 > 0:23:55the panel depresses, it gives a squeak and you're back to the start.
0:23:55 > 0:23:56PANEL SQUEAKS
0:23:56 > 0:24:00This is squeakier than the Bi-annual Mouse Gorgonzola Cheese Festival!
0:24:02 > 0:24:03And that was squeaky.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05It's an absolute squeak-fest, that event.
0:24:05 > 0:24:06I've been to it many times.
0:24:06 > 0:24:10I think one of the difficulties with this game, Dave,
0:24:10 > 0:24:14is you hear the other boards squeaking as well as your own,
0:24:14 > 0:24:15which makes it quite tricky.
0:24:15 > 0:24:19The giveaway is your foot will sink down if it's you.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22- That's absolutely right. - So...Lukas is back up there.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24I think he's going all the way here.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27I don't want to get overexcited but one more step and he's done it.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30- Come on!- It's a solid step! Now, he's got the 50-50 choice.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33Is it freedom or is it miserable death?
0:24:33 > 0:24:35- It's freedom!- Freedom!
0:24:35 > 0:24:38And there's the dance. And why wouldn't he dance?
0:24:38 > 0:24:40He's just had his life saved!
0:24:40 > 0:24:45Welcome back. Lukas, help yourself to a Year Sphere.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48Time to count up those Year Spheres, and remember,
0:24:48 > 0:24:54AD years are added to your total and BC years are subtracted from it.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57So despite the fact that there's an imbalance in Sphere numbers,
0:24:57 > 0:25:00anyone can still win at this stage.
0:25:00 > 0:25:04Lukas, we'll start with you. Show me your first Sphere, please.
0:25:04 > 0:25:071918 AD.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09The end of the First World War.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Let's have a look at your second one.
0:25:11 > 0:25:151805 AD.
0:25:15 > 0:25:20The Battle of Trafalgar was that year. That's a total of 3,723.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22That is an excellent target.
0:25:22 > 0:25:26Now, Zoe, seeing as we're only up to the year 2011,
0:25:26 > 0:25:29this could be a problem for you. Let's look at what you've got.
0:25:29 > 0:25:35Oh, it was 1788 AD, the first European settlement in Australia.
0:25:35 > 0:25:40TJ, it's all down to you. 3,723 to beat. Can you do it?
0:25:40 > 0:25:42Let's have a look at your first Sphere.
0:25:43 > 0:25:481199 AD, the death of Richard the Lionheart.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50You're up and running. Let's look at the second.
0:25:52 > 0:25:561415 AD. Henry V beat the French at Agincourt.
0:25:56 > 0:26:00You need 1,110 to win.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03Let's have a look at that final Sphere.
0:26:03 > 0:26:061840 AD!
0:26:06 > 0:26:08Queen Victoria married Prince Albert.
0:26:08 > 0:26:13And that means that today's winner, with 4,454 points, is TJ,
0:26:13 > 0:26:17who gets to take home the incredibly rare star prize.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20"Incredibly rare" in that it's incredibly hard to find prizes
0:26:20 > 0:26:23as bad as the ones Rattus comes up with.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26Come on, Rattus, what's today's epic disappointment?
0:26:26 > 0:26:31Well, for your information, this prize is actually a beautiful ring,
0:26:31 > 0:26:33dating back to the 17th Century.
0:26:33 > 0:26:38- That actually does sound pretty good.- Unfortunately...
0:26:38 > 0:26:41this ring belonged to a victim of the famous pirate Blackbeard
0:26:41 > 0:26:44and as the ring didn't slip easily off the finger,
0:26:44 > 0:26:49Blackbeard did what any self-respecting pirate would do.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51He cut the whole finger off!
0:26:51 > 0:26:53RATTUS CACKLES
0:26:53 > 0:26:56- Rattus, you have surpassed yourself. - Ooh, thank you!
0:26:56 > 0:26:57Not a compliment.
0:26:57 > 0:27:01- Well, congratulations to TJ!- Yes.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03There you go, TJ. Congratulations.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05You may want to put it somewhere you can't see it.
0:27:05 > 0:27:09Well, it just remains for me to say thanks to our champion, TJ,
0:27:09 > 0:27:14and thanks also to our gallant runners-up, Zoe and Lukas.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16And no thanks whatsoever to Rattus.
0:27:16 > 0:27:20Your growing frustration is thanks enough, Dave.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22You've been watching Gory Games. Goodbye!
0:27:24 > 0:27:27# Was that show messy enough for you?
0:27:27 > 0:27:29# Or would you have preferred a little more poo?
0:27:29 > 0:27:32# Have you had your fill of blood, guts and gore?
0:27:32 > 0:27:35# Or have we left you still wanting more?
0:27:35 > 0:27:37# Well, keep watching
0:27:37 > 0:27:39# We'll be back again
0:27:39 > 0:27:42# With Horrible Histories Gory Games
0:27:42 > 0:27:45# Horrible Histories Gory...
0:27:45 > 0:27:46# Games! #