0:00:02 > 0:00:05# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing
0:00:05 > 0:00:08# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king
0:00:08 > 0:00:11# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo
0:00:11 > 0:00:13# You'd better turn off This show ain't for you
0:00:13 > 0:00:18# Still watching? Then let's test your brains
0:00:18 > 0:00:20# With Horrible Histories Gory Games
0:00:20 > 0:00:22# With Horrible Histories Gory...
0:00:22 > 0:00:24# Games! #
0:00:24 > 0:00:29The important thing is that when we start the show, you're ready to go.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31Hello and welcome to Gory Games
0:00:31 > 0:00:34with me, Dave Lamb, and my assistant Rattus Rattus.
0:00:34 > 0:00:38And my assistant Marcus the Flea. Ow!
0:00:38 > 0:00:41No biting, Marcus. We're on television.
0:00:41 > 0:00:45You get to test your knowledge of Horrible Histories.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47With quirky quiz questions.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Come on, Marcus. This is your line.
0:00:50 > 0:00:51Marcus!
0:00:53 > 0:00:56- Oh, my flea's gone all shy. Ha-ha! - THRRP!
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Oh, Marcus, we're on TV!
0:00:59 > 0:01:04And Gory Games. Without further ado, let's meet our horrible historians.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07- Hi, I'm Dionne.- Hi, I'm Melissa.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10- Hi, I'm Lloyd. - Welcome on board, Lloyd.
0:01:10 > 0:01:14OK, we'll kick off the show with a warm-up game of my own invention.
0:01:14 > 0:01:19- Oh, joy(!)- A little Victorian game I like to call Gone Fishing.
0:01:19 > 0:01:23That sounds OK. What are we after? Trout, perch, a bit of salmon?
0:01:23 > 0:01:25- Tapeworm.- Tapeworm. Of course.
0:01:25 > 0:01:29Victorian inventor Dr Myers came up
0:01:29 > 0:01:31with the remarkable little tapeworm trap.
0:01:31 > 0:01:36Inside the metal container is some bait. Ha-ha!
0:01:36 > 0:01:40I like to use rotten meat, but fresh meat will do.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43Hand them out to the contestants, will you, Dave?
0:01:43 > 0:01:46Guys, dangle the trap down my throat
0:01:46 > 0:01:49and the tapeworm will go for the bait and get caught!
0:01:49 > 0:01:52The first person to catch Terry my tapeworm wins.
0:01:52 > 0:01:56Here they come, Terry, ready or not! Ahhhhhh!
0:01:56 > 0:01:58No, I'm sorry, I can't do that.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01We won't have tapeworm extractions on my show.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04That's probably not such a bad thing.
0:02:04 > 0:02:08- Some people choke to death on the tapeworm trap.- And you'd risk that?
0:02:08 > 0:02:12- No, I knew you'd call it all off. - Predictable to a fault, I am.
0:02:12 > 0:02:18Right, Dionne, Melissa and Lloyd, you are playing to win Year Spheres.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20Each Year Sphere contains a date.
0:02:20 > 0:02:24At the end of the show, your sphere dates will be added up
0:02:24 > 0:02:27with AD dates being ADDED to your total
0:02:27 > 0:02:30and BC dates being SUBTRACTED from it.
0:02:30 > 0:02:34So, if these were your Year Spheres, your total would be, Rattus?
0:02:34 > 0:02:37Oh, um...approximately 12.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40No, it's 735.
0:02:40 > 0:02:44- I know, I was being very approximate.- Ignore him.
0:02:44 > 0:02:48At the end of the show, the person with the highest year score
0:02:48 > 0:02:52- will win a unique historical prize. - Just something I've picked up.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56- Bear in mind that the last thing he picked up was the plague.- Oi!
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Let's get cracking. To see who this round's about,
0:02:59 > 0:03:02it's over to the Gory Grid.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04It's the Gorgeous Georgians.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07And your four Georgian topics are:
0:03:11 > 0:03:16Dionne, you get first pick as it's the first round, so pick away.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19- Teeth.- Let's hear the question.
0:03:19 > 0:03:25True or false? Our Georgian dentists used whale bones to make false teeth.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Let's see your answers now, please.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32Melissa and Lloyd going for "true", Dionne for "false". Who's right?
0:03:32 > 0:03:35It's false.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37But they did use walrus tusks.
0:03:37 > 0:03:42Thankfully, they cut them down a bit first, though. Marvellous!
0:03:42 > 0:03:45Yes, thankfully. Dionne, well done.
0:03:45 > 0:03:49- Melissa, it's your turn to pick a topic.- Fashion, please.
0:03:49 > 0:03:53- Fashion, it is. - Is this true or is it false?
0:04:00 > 0:04:03You've all gone for "true".
0:04:03 > 0:04:07Interesting. Let's find out if you're right.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10OK, in fact, it's true.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14It is true. The huge dresses were called mantua dresses.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Many doorways had to be enlarged,
0:04:16 > 0:04:20- so ladies in these massive dresses could fit through.- Excuse me.
0:04:20 > 0:04:24Does my bum look big in this? Yes? Oh, good!
0:04:24 > 0:04:28- That's what they were after.- Ha-ha! - Lloyd, your turn to pick a topic.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31I'll go with Milk.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35- That is a prop question.- It's a prop question. I like the prop questions!
0:04:35 > 0:04:38- Oh, my word!- Oh, oh!
0:04:39 > 0:04:43Eugh! That is a bucket of dirty milk.
0:04:44 > 0:04:49It really is horrible. Here's the question about it. True or false?
0:04:49 > 0:04:53Georgian milkmaids carried milk through town in buckets
0:04:53 > 0:04:58and the milk usually had lice, spit and hair in it. Is it true or false?
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Dionne has gone for "false".
0:05:01 > 0:05:04Melissa and Lloyd have both gone for "true".
0:05:04 > 0:05:08I can tell you that the answer is "true". The milk was filthy.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11And it's absolutely delicious.
0:05:11 > 0:05:16Let's put this down here. Just lick that little mark up there, Rattus.
0:05:16 > 0:05:21Fantastic. So everyone on two points, it's very, very exciting.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25One question left in this round and it's a question on Napoleon.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29True or false? Before a long march,
0:05:29 > 0:05:33Napoleon's French soldiers would sometimes put an egg into each boot.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Let's see your answers now, please.
0:05:37 > 0:05:42Dionne's gone for "true", Melissa and Lloyd for "false". Who's right?
0:05:42 > 0:05:48It's true. They thought this helped soothe blistered feet.
0:05:48 > 0:05:52I guess they ended up with a cheese omelette at the end of the march!
0:05:52 > 0:05:54Yummy!
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Yes, horrible.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59Dionne, congratulations. You've won the quiz.
0:05:59 > 0:06:04- Choose your Year Sphere from our Trolley Wally.- Don't call me that!
0:06:04 > 0:06:09Oh, I hate it when it's all the way down here. It's such a long way.
0:06:09 > 0:06:14- Hello, Dionne.- Hello.- Choose your Year Sphere, whichever one you want.
0:06:14 > 0:06:19One could have a Stone Age date worth a few million minus points.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21Oh-ho-ho!
0:06:22 > 0:06:27Winning the quiz means Dionne is through to play the Georgian Game.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31But will she be alone or will everyone get to play?
0:06:33 > 0:06:35It's an All Play Silly Game,
0:06:35 > 0:06:40so that means it's off down the Time Sewer with the lot of you.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43- Off you go, Lloyd. It stinks, by the way.- Eugh!
0:06:43 > 0:06:45- In you go, Melissa.- It stinks!
0:06:45 > 0:06:49- I know it does. Go on then. Down you go.- Aaagh!
0:06:49 > 0:06:52Eugh! Eugh!
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Oh, it stinks in here!
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Eugh!
0:06:57 > 0:07:00Now, Georgians were famous for wearing huge wigs
0:07:00 > 0:07:04which were invariably infested with hundreds of bugs,
0:07:04 > 0:07:07- so it's time to play...- Flea Fling.
0:07:07 > 0:07:11Loads of fleas and lice will fling themselves from a Georgian wig.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14You catch as many bugs in your hair net as possible.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17The player who catches the most wins the Year Sphere.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Are you ready, steady...?
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Let the flea circus begin!
0:07:22 > 0:07:24HOOTER
0:07:24 > 0:07:27Here we are then, a Georgian Flea Fling.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31Already the bugs of many shapes and sizes are coming out of the wig.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34There's one now. Rattus, you must love this game.
0:07:34 > 0:07:38I do love it. I love this game for a whole myriad of reasons.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41My fleas are a couple of millimetres across,
0:07:41 > 0:07:44whereas these fleas are, in fact, humongous!
0:07:44 > 0:07:48Yes, these fleas have been fed quite a lot of human growth hormone
0:07:48 > 0:07:53to get them up to the size required. Not strictly legal, but we enjoy it.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57- Melissa's managed to catch one of the bugs on her hair.- You're right.
0:07:57 > 0:08:01There's one hanging on to the edge of her wig. It's a bit off-putting.
0:08:01 > 0:08:06- But it will of course count towards her final total.- It certainly will.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09I wonder if they want to catch some of MY bugs?
0:08:09 > 0:08:13- They're small, but perfectly formed. - They're disgusting.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17- Don't you go near the contestants with them.- 30 seconds remaining.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21This is the only show on network television
0:08:21 > 0:08:24where children are encouraged to catch lice!
0:08:24 > 0:08:26It's so wrong, it's right.
0:08:26 > 0:08:30Talking of lice, there's another one on Melissa's head.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33She's got two now on that wig alone.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35A lot of these fleas seem to pop in
0:08:35 > 0:08:38and bounce out as they reach for other ones.
0:08:38 > 0:08:42Fleas bounce all over the place whereas lice stay where they are.
0:08:42 > 0:08:46- You can't get rid of them even with a preparatory cream.- You can't.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49And a third flea now on Melissa's wig.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52We're coming towards the end of this game.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55- HOOTER - It's all over.- That is the end.
0:08:55 > 0:08:59And looking at that, I can tell you that the score is 35, 31, 20.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01- Extraordinary!- I know.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05Back behind your podiums, please. That was tremendous.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08That was a tremendous effort,
0:09:08 > 0:09:11but the winner with 35 bugs was Dionne.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14Help yourself to another Year Sphere.
0:09:14 > 0:09:19Two Year Spheres. None for the other two, but plenty of time to catch up.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22To find out who's up next, it's over to the Gory Grid.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25It's the Vile Victorians. Good day.
0:09:25 > 0:09:29And here are your all-important Victorian topics.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37- Melissa, you pick first. - Florence Nightingale.
0:09:39 > 0:09:44True or false? Famous nurse Florence Nightingale used to have a pet ferret
0:09:44 > 0:09:46which she kept in her pocket.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50Melissa and Lloyd going for "false", Dionne for "true".
0:09:50 > 0:09:53- Let's find out what the answer is. - It's false.
0:09:53 > 0:09:57Florence used to keep a pet owl in her pocket who she called Athena.
0:09:57 > 0:10:02- That's a nice name.- Right, Lloyd, your turn to pick a topic.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06- Gadgets, please.- Gadgets. And that is a prop question.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09It's a prop question. Look at that!
0:10:09 > 0:10:12That is a genuine Victorian contraption
0:10:12 > 0:10:15for removing rotten teeth.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Is that true or false?
0:10:18 > 0:10:22The girls are going for "false", Lloyd out on his own with "true".
0:10:22 > 0:10:25The answer is..."false".
0:10:25 > 0:10:31Unfortunately. It is in fact for peeling peaches, believe it or not.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Or you could leave the peaches to rot,
0:10:34 > 0:10:38then suck 'em up with a straw. Delish!
0:10:38 > 0:10:40That's if you're a rat. There's the scores.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44Melissa, you lead this round with two points.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47Dionne and Lloyd, you have a point apiece.
0:10:47 > 0:10:51- Dionne, your turn to choose next. - Poetry, please.
0:10:52 > 0:10:56What do you think? Is this true or false?
0:11:04 > 0:11:09Everybody has gone for "true". Interesting.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13The fact of the matter is it's...true.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:11:16 > 0:11:19There once was a poet most smart
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Whose lyrics were praised as high art
0:11:21 > 0:11:24He mimed doing a poo on an imaginary loo
0:11:24 > 0:11:27But one thing was real...
0:11:27 > 0:11:30- THRRP! - His far...- Thank you, thank you.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32- Thank you, Rattus.- Ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:11:32 > 0:11:36You're in the lead, Melissa. One question left this round.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38It's a question on Queen Victoria.
0:11:38 > 0:11:44True or false? Queen Victoria was the shortest monarch in British history.
0:11:44 > 0:11:49So was Queen Victoria the shortest adult monarch in British history?
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Let's see your answers now, please.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55Everybody has gone for "true". Let's find out.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58It's true. Victoria was only five foot tall.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01I guess that old crown added a few inches.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04I could do with one myself. I'm four foot five.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07Short in stature, long in reign.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10After that round, Melissa, you've scored four out of four.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13You've won a Year Sphere. Congratulations.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Melissa, as the winner of the quiz,
0:12:18 > 0:12:22you're through to play the Victorian Game,
0:12:22 > 0:12:26but will it be just you or will the others get to play too?
0:12:28 > 0:12:31It's a Single Play Brainy Game.
0:12:31 > 0:12:35Melissa, it's off down the Time Sewer with you on your own.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37It really does stink.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41DAVE COUGHS
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Crikey!
0:12:45 > 0:12:49Eccentric Victorian William Buckland loved natural history
0:12:49 > 0:12:53and filled his house with every kind of animal, then ate them all.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57He ate all sorts of unusual foods like, for instance, mouse on toast.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00- It's time to play...- Foul Food.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03Seven bizarre foodstuffs then,
0:13:03 > 0:13:05but two weren't eaten by Barmy Buckland.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08Work out which five things he consumed.
0:13:08 > 0:13:12Choose five and move them to the "eaten" board,
0:13:12 > 0:13:16then touch the mouse on toast to find out how many you've got right.
0:13:16 > 0:13:20Keep trying until you've got all five, but you're against the clock.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23- Your time starts now. - HOOTER
0:13:23 > 0:13:28So then, what does Melissa think that Barmy Buckland used to eat?
0:13:28 > 0:13:32Her first choice, I can tell you, is roast giraffe. Interesting.
0:13:32 > 0:13:36It could be. It might not be. We just don't know at this stage.
0:13:36 > 0:13:40The mummified heart of Louis XIV, an elephant's trunk.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42What a varied diet he had!
0:13:42 > 0:13:46If this is right, what an extraordinary diet the man had!
0:13:46 > 0:13:50Stewed bluebottles is next. She's doing very well.
0:13:50 > 0:13:54She's doing this quickly. A mole, on to the mouse on toast.
0:13:54 > 0:13:58- 'You have all five right.'- She's done it already. Extraordinary!
0:13:58 > 0:14:03- Here, I've got your tea. Is she ready to start?- It's finished.- What?
0:14:03 > 0:14:07Melissa, help yourself to a Year Sphere. Buckland didn't eat a dodo,
0:14:07 > 0:14:11a species which had died out long before Buckland was born.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15Nor did he eat the mummified toe of Pharaoh Tutankhamen
0:14:15 > 0:14:18whose tomb was discovered after Buckland died.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21But Buckland really did eat all the others,
0:14:21 > 0:14:25including the mummified heart of Louis XIV. Eugh!
0:14:25 > 0:14:29Apparently he said, "I have eaten many strange things,
0:14:29 > 0:14:33"but have never eaten the heart of a king before."
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Nor I, to my knowledge,
0:14:35 > 0:14:38but who knows what meat they put in a hot dog?
0:14:38 > 0:14:42Over to the Gory Grid to find out what's up next.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44It's the Measly Middle Ages.
0:14:44 > 0:14:48Four questions and here are your four Middle Ages topics.
0:14:53 > 0:14:57- Lloyd, it's your turn to pick first. Pick a topic.- Monks, please.
0:14:58 > 0:15:03One wise monk wrote all about Britain's early history.
0:15:03 > 0:15:07His name was Bede, but by what name is he better known?
0:15:16 > 0:15:21The girls are going for B's, Lloyd out on his own with an "A".
0:15:21 > 0:15:25- Let's see who's right.- The answer is "A", the Venerable Bede,
0:15:25 > 0:15:28which means he was admired and respected.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31- Much like the Venerable Dave. - What do you want, Rattus?
0:15:31 > 0:15:35Nothing. Well, can I have a go in your jacuzzi?
0:15:35 > 0:15:39- It's not a jacuzzi, it's a toilet. - I know, but can I anyway?- Go ahead.
0:15:39 > 0:15:43Lloyd, you've got one point on the board already.
0:15:43 > 0:15:47- Dionne, it's your turn to choose a topic.- Cures.
0:15:47 > 0:15:52Oh, it's a prop question. Let's see it. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:15:52 > 0:15:57There it is. This is a magpie's beak.
0:15:57 > 0:16:01Why would a person from the Middle Ages wear it around their neck?
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Would it be "A", for good luck,
0:16:03 > 0:16:08"B", to cure toothache, or "C", to ward off demons and ghosts?
0:16:10 > 0:16:14You've all gone for "C". You think it's to ward off demons and ghosts.
0:16:14 > 0:16:18Well, I can tell you that the actual answer is "B".
0:16:18 > 0:16:20It's a cure for toothache.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23Dave doesn't need a cure.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26He's got false teeth. Ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:16:26 > 0:16:30- OK, you're on a final warning now. - Again?- Yeah, again.
0:16:30 > 0:16:34- Melissa, your turn to choose a topic.- Can I have Sport?- Sport.
0:16:36 > 0:16:40A man called John Rivers found his lord's hunting hawk on the roof
0:16:40 > 0:16:44of his house, but failed to report it. What was his punishment?
0:16:44 > 0:16:49"A", he was fined 100 shillings, "B", he had one of his hands cut off,
0:16:49 > 0:16:53or "C", he had flesh cut from his chest and fed to the hawk?
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Very interesting.
0:16:55 > 0:17:00Lloyd and Dionne going for C's, Melissa for "B". Who's right?
0:17:00 > 0:17:05The answer is "C". He had six ounces of flesh cut from his chest
0:17:05 > 0:17:08and fed to the hawk. I'm guessing he didn't do that again.
0:17:08 > 0:17:12Even that makes ME feel queasy! Eugh!
0:17:12 > 0:17:16Hold it in, Rattus. I don't want to see any sick on the table. Good man.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19OK, through to the final question of this round.
0:17:19 > 0:17:23Lloyd, you can't be caught by Melissa, but you can be by Dionne.
0:17:23 > 0:17:27The final question is on Kings. Let's hear what it is.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31Richard the Lionheart was King of England for ten years,
0:17:31 > 0:17:34but during this time, how long was he in England?
0:17:39 > 0:17:43Dionne and Lloyd going for "C", Melissa for "A".
0:17:43 > 0:17:47- Let's find out what the answer is. - "C", 6 months.
0:17:47 > 0:17:51He spent all his time crusading because he hated England.
0:17:51 > 0:17:55I guess he wasn't a big fan of rain and mud.
0:17:55 > 0:17:59At the end of that round, Lloyd, you have won your first Year Sphere.
0:17:59 > 0:18:04Congratulations. So, Lloyd, you're going to play the Middle Ages Game.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08But will it be All Play or will you be playing on your own?
0:18:12 > 0:18:15It's a Single Player Silly Game.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18So, Lloyd, get down that Time Sewer.
0:18:19 > 0:18:20Aagh!
0:18:20 > 0:18:22And he was gone.
0:18:26 > 0:18:30It's the court of King Louis XI of France in the 1400s.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33He has just been delivered a musical instrument
0:18:33 > 0:18:35which has never been seen before.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38- It's time to play the...- Pig Piano.
0:18:38 > 0:18:42The instrument consisted of pigs of different sizes and a keyboard.
0:18:42 > 0:18:47Play a key and a little spike would prick a piggy and make it squeal.
0:18:47 > 0:18:51The larger the pig, the deeper the squeal. You have to listen to
0:18:51 > 0:18:54and repeat a sequence of squeals.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57The sequence will get one squeal longer each time.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01Correctly repeat nine squeals within the time limit to win a Year Sphere.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05Get one note wrong and... well, you'll find out.
0:19:05 > 0:19:09- Let's get squealing. - HOOTER
0:19:09 > 0:19:14So, Lloyd attempts Pig Piano. Here comes his first sequence.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17He's got to replicate that to stay in the game.
0:19:17 > 0:19:22One mistake and it's all over. I have to reiterate that.
0:19:22 > 0:19:26- He's made a good start, Rattus. - He's made an excellent start, Dave.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29My fear is if he goes wrong cos these pigs have been eating
0:19:29 > 0:19:34- chocolate ice cream and raw onions all morning.- That's terrible news.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37If he does go wrong, something unspeakable happens.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40But he's not gone wrong yet. That's four.
0:19:40 > 0:19:44He's done the second sequence, moving on to five.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47SQUEALING
0:19:47 > 0:19:50Now it's up to Lloyd to repeat that.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Yes, a good start.
0:19:54 > 0:19:59The fourth and I think the fifth one was the green. Oh, no!
0:19:59 > 0:20:02He's gone wrong. No, get out of the way!
0:20:02 > 0:20:07He's swerved out of the way of it. He's cleverly avoided that.
0:20:07 > 0:20:11That pig is having the most confusing poo I've ever seen!
0:20:13 > 0:20:18Welcome back, Lloyd. Take your place behind your podium. Bad luck.
0:20:18 > 0:20:22There have been numerous reports of the Pig Piano throughout history.
0:20:22 > 0:20:26- They've had different names like the Hog Harmonium.- The Swine-Away.
0:20:26 > 0:20:29- The Pig Organ.- The Pigano.
0:20:29 > 0:20:33If you'd like instructions on how to build your own Pig Piano,
0:20:33 > 0:20:35I'll report you to the RSPCA!
0:20:35 > 0:20:39- Ha-ha-ha!- I will do it. Don't test me on that one.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Lloyd, that was extraordinary.
0:20:41 > 0:20:46- I liked the way you swerved the poo at the end.- Yeah, spoilsport!
0:20:46 > 0:20:49We were looking forward to seeing someone getting covered in poo.
0:20:49 > 0:20:53But you body-swerved it nicely. It's the final round.
0:20:53 > 0:20:57Over to the Gory Grid one last time to find out what we've got.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59It's the Vicious Vikings.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02So, no quirky quiz in our final round.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05It's straight to our big All Play Viking End Game
0:21:05 > 0:21:07and it's a scary one.
0:21:07 > 0:21:11Let's see you get down that Time Sewer one last time.
0:21:11 > 0:21:12Eugh!
0:21:16 > 0:21:17Eugh!
0:21:17 > 0:21:20You never get used to it. It's revolting.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23- It stinks in here.- Eugh!
0:21:23 > 0:21:28Picture the scene. It's 793 AD.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31You are a monk busy minding your own business
0:21:31 > 0:21:34on the island monastery of Lindisfarne
0:21:34 > 0:21:37when suddenly... "Raaaargh!"
0:21:37 > 0:21:40You've got some unwanted visitors.
0:21:40 > 0:21:44- It's time to play... - Viking Attack.
0:21:44 > 0:21:48Your only hope of survival is that the Vikings won't hear you,
0:21:48 > 0:21:52so you'd better not step on a squeaky floorboard.
0:21:52 > 0:21:56You have to find the one squeak-free path through the wooden panels.
0:21:56 > 0:22:00Step on a squeaky one and you'll be sent back to the start.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04Reach the end of the path and you are faced with two doors.
0:22:04 > 0:22:08Choose well. Behind one is freedom, behind the other is... "Raargh!"
0:22:08 > 0:22:10The Viking fella with the thing.
0:22:10 > 0:22:14- Sounded like a weasel with a throat infection.- It's a Viking.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18Find him and you have to start all over again. Ready, steady...
0:22:18 > 0:22:21- HOOTER - So here we go with Viking Attack.
0:22:21 > 0:22:25A very cagey start. One or two squeaky floorboards instantly.
0:22:25 > 0:22:30A one in three chance of getting it right with that first step.
0:22:30 > 0:22:34Dionne there has made the first step, but not the second.
0:22:34 > 0:22:39It's difficult because there's a one in three chance all the way up.
0:22:39 > 0:22:44It's a game of trial and error and you have to remember your errors.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47- FLOORBOARD SQUEAKS - As Melissa hasn't done there.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50We should have called this game Hide And Squeak, Dave.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53Yes. Why?
0:22:53 > 0:22:57Never mind. Dionne seems to be having trouble
0:22:57 > 0:23:00working out her first step, which is extraordinary.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Lloyd halfway along now. Lovely.
0:23:02 > 0:23:07Those monks at the back are keeping a close watch on proceedings.
0:23:07 > 0:23:11It's their monastery, after all. I thought Lloyd was getting close.
0:23:11 > 0:23:15Those doors at the end, they've got two doors each to choose from.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18Behind one door lies freedom,
0:23:18 > 0:23:22- behind the other, an axe-wielding, homicidal maniac.- Ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:23:22 > 0:23:25Obviously, you're after freedom.
0:23:25 > 0:23:29I said it would be good if they had to duck flying Viking axes as well.
0:23:29 > 0:23:33- I remember. I was at that meeting. - Didn't go for it.- No, they didn't.
0:23:33 > 0:23:37Just as you think they're doing well, a little mistake creeps in.
0:23:37 > 0:23:41- I think, Dave, you're cursing them. - I think maybe I am.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44I think maybe I should stop saying the words "doing well".
0:23:44 > 0:23:47Look at that, Dionne's...
0:23:47 > 0:23:52Even if I don't say them, I curse them. Even if I just think them.
0:23:52 > 0:23:56In that case, I'm going to have to control my mind very, very closely.
0:23:56 > 0:24:00What am I talking about? My mind's not having any influence on this!
0:24:00 > 0:24:04Here's Lloyd. Come on, Lloyd. You're doing very well.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Oh, no! Dionne?
0:24:06 > 0:24:09Oh, dear. Someone must get there eventually.
0:24:09 > 0:24:13And Melissa could be that person. This is very impressive.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16Just one more step to go and she's there.
0:24:16 > 0:24:21Melissa has made it through. This is where it gets very interesting.
0:24:21 > 0:24:25- It's a 50/50 chance. Oh, it's freedom!- Excellent.- Freedom!
0:24:25 > 0:24:29And she's celebrating, rather than being carried off on a stretcher.
0:24:30 > 0:24:35Melissa, go and help yourself to another Year Sphere. Fantastic.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38When Lindisfarne was attacked, monks got away
0:24:38 > 0:24:41with one of their most holy relics - the body of St Cuthbert.
0:24:41 > 0:24:45They carried it around for seven years, so the Vikings didn't get it.
0:24:45 > 0:24:49I've been carrying someone for years too.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Are you saying I'm not up to the job?
0:24:52 > 0:24:56No, I was talking about Marcus, my flea, but now you mention it...
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Time to count up those Year Spheres.
0:25:00 > 0:25:06AD years are added to your total and BC years are subtracted from it.
0:25:06 > 0:25:10Dionne, start us off. Could you open up your first Year Sphere?
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Let's find out what's inside.
0:25:14 > 0:25:191871 AD, the year that Queen Victoria opened the Albert Hall.
0:25:22 > 0:25:271587 AD, the execution of Mary, Queen of Scots.
0:25:27 > 0:25:33But that gives you an excellent, excellent total of 3458.
0:25:33 > 0:25:37Melissa, let's see what you've got in your first sphere.
0:25:37 > 0:25:401305 AD, the execution of William Wallace.
0:25:42 > 0:25:451770 AD.
0:25:45 > 0:25:49Captain Cook claims Australia for Britain in that year.
0:25:49 > 0:25:53That gives you a running total at the moment of 3075.
0:25:53 > 0:25:58You need just under 400 positive years to beat Dionne.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01Let's open that next sphere.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Oh, my word! It's 10,000 BC!
0:26:05 > 0:26:10Stone Age Man first domesticated dogs about then.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13But that's no consolation, is it, Melissa?
0:26:13 > 0:26:18And you've ended up with a total of minus 6925.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21Lloyd, let's see what you've got in your Year Sphere.
0:26:22 > 0:26:26It's 2,500 BC!
0:26:26 > 0:26:29The stones were added to Stonehenge that year.
0:26:29 > 0:26:33That means today's winner with 3,458 points is Dionne.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35Congratulations, Dionne.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38Excellent. Who goes home with our star prize.
0:26:38 > 0:26:42Today's prize is not like the prizes on any other game show,
0:26:42 > 0:26:45which is a shame because it's some old rubbish
0:26:45 > 0:26:49that Rattus dragged out of the Time Sewer. What have we got?
0:26:49 > 0:26:53Well, you certainly can't say that this prize is pointless.
0:26:53 > 0:26:57In fact, it couldn't have more of a point if it tried.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00Yeah? It's the tip of a Roman gladiator's spear.
0:27:00 > 0:27:04Roman ladies believed it was good luck to comb their hair
0:27:04 > 0:27:07with the spear of a dead gladiator.
0:27:07 > 0:27:11Exactly how does combing your hair with a spear constitute good luck?
0:27:11 > 0:27:13It does if you've always wanted hair
0:27:13 > 0:27:16- that's matted with congealed gladiator blood.- Yeah.
0:27:16 > 0:27:20Well, con-RAT-ulations, Dionne.
0:27:20 > 0:27:24- There you go, Dionne. So sorry about the blood on it.- Thank you.
0:27:24 > 0:27:28Maybe you could display it somewhere you can't see it.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31Thanks to our winner, Dionne.
0:27:31 > 0:27:35Thanks to our runners-up, Melissa and Lloyd.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38- And no thanks whatsoever to Rattus. - I aim to please.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41You've been watching Gory Games. Goodbye.
0:27:41 > 0:27:44# Was that show messy enough for you?
0:27:44 > 0:27:47# Or would you have preferred a little more poo?
0:27:47 > 0:27:50# Have you had your fill of blood, guts and gore?
0:27:50 > 0:27:53# Or have we left you still wanting more?
0:27:53 > 0:27:57# Well, keep watching We'll be back again
0:27:57 > 0:28:00# With Horrible Histories Gory Games
0:28:00 > 0:28:02# Horrible Histories Gory...
0:28:02 > 0:28:04# Games! #