0:00:02 > 0:00:05# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing
0:00:05 > 0:00:08# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king
0:00:08 > 0:00:10# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo
0:00:10 > 0:00:13# You'd better turn off - this show ain't for you
0:00:13 > 0:00:15# Still watching?
0:00:15 > 0:00:18# Then let's test your brains
0:00:18 > 0:00:20# With Horrible Histories Gory Games
0:00:20 > 0:00:24# Horrible Histories Gory Games. #
0:00:24 > 0:00:28Hello and welcome to Gory Games with me, Dave Lamb and my assistant,
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Rattus Rattus.
0:00:30 > 0:00:35Rattus, have you been eating my jelly beans?
0:00:35 > 0:00:37What gives you that idea?
0:00:37 > 0:00:40I don't know. Maybe that you've got your head stuck in the jar.
0:00:40 > 0:00:45Oh, this? Oh, no, no, no. I'm just training to be an astronaut.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48Oh, that's good. Because I will happily boot you into space
0:00:48 > 0:00:52if you eat any more of my sweeties.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55Oh! Ah! I'll breathe in, I'll breathe in. Ah!
0:00:55 > 0:00:58Hah! Hah!
0:00:58 > 0:01:00On this show, you get to test your knowledge
0:01:00 > 0:01:02of horrible histories with quirky questions
0:01:02 > 0:01:04and gloriously gory games,
0:01:04 > 0:01:08so let's crack on and meet our horrible historians.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11- Hi, I'm Jasmine.- Hello, Jasmine. - Hi, I'm Greg.- Hello there, Greg.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14- Hi, I'm Monica. - And hello there, Monica.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17Today, I thought we could start the show off
0:01:17 > 0:01:20- with a nice, healthy Georgian sporting event.- Really?
0:01:20 > 0:01:24- I've worked out a whole tournament. Look.- Oh!
0:01:24 > 0:01:26OK, well that sounds great.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29Right, let's get this Georgian pinching match under way.
0:01:29 > 0:01:33Pinch each other as hard as you can. Greg, you're up against Dave.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35- First one to scream loses. - No! No way.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38This isn't going to happen. Sorry, Greg. Stay where you are.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41I was going to organise another Georgian entertainment,
0:01:41 > 0:01:43but I had a problem with security.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46- They wouldn't let me in with a bull covered in fireworks.- Argh!
0:01:46 > 0:01:50Ah! You screamed! You lost! Ha! Greg, you're through to the final.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53- You're not, Greg. I'm ignoring you now.- But...- No.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55- But...- No.- But...- Er. - Ah, but... Ah, but...
0:01:55 > 0:01:58- I've stopped doing it. - You have, sorry.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02Jasmine, Greg, Monica, you're here to win Year Spheres.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Each Year Sphere contains an historical date.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07At the end of the show, your Year Spheres will be added up
0:02:07 > 0:02:11with AD dates being added to your total
0:02:11 > 0:02:13and BC dates being subtracted from it.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17So if these were your Year Spheres, your total would be, Rattus...?
0:02:17 > 0:02:20Er... Ah... 312?
0:02:20 > 0:02:21Nope. Wrong answer.
0:02:21 > 0:02:26Or to look at it another way, the right answer to a different question.
0:02:26 > 0:02:27Your total would be 735.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31At the end of the show, the person with the highest year score
0:02:31 > 0:02:34wins a historical prize picked out by my own fair paws.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36One that money can't buy.
0:02:36 > 0:02:40And more often than not, one that money wouldn't want to buy.
0:02:40 > 0:02:41Oi!
0:02:41 > 0:02:43Right, time to get stuck in.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47And to find out what this round's about, it's over to the Gory Grid.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51Arr! The Putrid Pirates it be.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53And your four pirate topics are...
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Jasmine, you get to pick first this round.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04Punishments, please.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07In 1695, Dutch pirate Dirk Chivers
0:03:07 > 0:03:11captured Captain Sawbridge and held him for ransom.
0:03:11 > 0:03:15Sawbridge moaned so much that Pirate Dirk did what to him?
0:03:15 > 0:03:17a) Threw him overboard,
0:03:17 > 0:03:22b) sewed up his mouth, or c) cut off his tongue?
0:03:22 > 0:03:25Let's see your answers now.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Everyone has gone for c).
0:03:28 > 0:03:29Well, let's find out.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32b) He sewed up his mouth.
0:03:32 > 0:03:33Yeah, that ought to shut him up.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36It would shut him up, but sadly you were all wrong.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39You were all being too gruesome, to be honest.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41It's an awful thing to happen, isn't it?
0:03:41 > 0:03:44I know someone here who could have their mouth sewn up.
0:03:44 > 0:03:45Who's that, Dave?
0:03:45 > 0:03:46Who? Who? Who can it be?
0:03:46 > 0:03:49Please, tell me Dave? Tell me now if you could, please?
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Take a wild guess, Rattus.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55So, Greg, your turn to pick a topic. No points scored yet.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57I'll take Pirate Talk, please.
0:03:57 > 0:03:58Pirate Talk.
0:03:58 > 0:04:02That is a question from Rattus Rattus.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05A-hem! What were pirates' slops?
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Were they a) horrible leftover food,
0:04:08 > 0:04:10b) their trousers,
0:04:10 > 0:04:12or c) the contents of the ships toilet?
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Jasmine and Greg in agreement,
0:04:16 > 0:04:17Monica going out on her own.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Rattus, what is the answer?
0:04:19 > 0:04:22The answer is...b).
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Slops were pirate trousers.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27Sailors were the first people to wear trousers.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30Just because I'm asking the question doesn't mean it's always about poo.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32No, not always.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35Well done. You've scored the first point of the game.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37We're on our way. It's your turn to pick a topic.
0:04:37 > 0:04:38Messages, please.
0:04:40 > 0:04:45If an angry pirate was coming to get you, what might he send you?
0:04:45 > 0:04:50Was it a piece of paper with a) a red diamond,
0:04:50 > 0:04:52b) a black square,
0:04:52 > 0:04:55or c) a black spot?
0:04:56 > 0:05:00So Jasmine and Greg agreeing again with c),
0:05:00 > 0:05:01and Monica going for a).
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Let's hear the answer.
0:05:03 > 0:05:07c) He'd send you the black spot.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10- Obviously, that was before email. - Long before email.
0:05:10 > 0:05:14So that means that everyone is level pegging
0:05:14 > 0:05:16with just one topic left in this round.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19That topic is Blackbeard.
0:05:19 > 0:05:23'Tis I, Blackbeard the Pirate. Here be my question.
0:05:23 > 0:05:27Why did I shoot me mate, Israel Hands?
0:05:27 > 0:05:29a) For burning me supper,
0:05:29 > 0:05:31b) for stealing a gold coin,
0:05:31 > 0:05:33or c) for fun?
0:05:35 > 0:05:38OK, so Greg and Jasmine agree again with c),
0:05:38 > 0:05:40and Monica has gone with b).
0:05:40 > 0:05:43The answer is...c).
0:05:43 > 0:05:46I shot him and maimed him for life just for fun.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Ha-ha-ha-ha-har!
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Excellent. That means at the end of the round,
0:05:50 > 0:05:53we have a tie-breaker situation.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Jasmine and Greg, you're still in. Monica, you're history for now.
0:05:56 > 0:06:00First one to buzz in and give me the correct answer will win
0:06:00 > 0:06:03a Year Sphere, so fingers on buzzers, please.
0:06:03 > 0:06:08Beginning with the letter C, what is the name of a pirate's curved sword?
0:06:08 > 0:06:10- BUZZER: At-choo!- Jasmine?
0:06:10 > 0:06:12- I forgot.- Oh, no!
0:06:12 > 0:06:15It's not the answer I've got down here.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Bad luck, Jasmine. That means it automatically
0:06:17 > 0:06:20- passes over to you, Greg.- Cutlass.
0:06:20 > 0:06:24Cutlass is right. Congratulations, you've won the first quiz.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27Time to choose your Year Sphere from our trolly wally.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29Push, push, push, push. Oh!
0:06:29 > 0:06:31This is heavier than it looks, Greg.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34There we go. Come on, choose your Year Sphere. Any one you like.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36I'd beware. One of those could contain
0:06:36 > 0:06:38a Stone Age date, and that could be worth
0:06:38 > 0:06:40a few million minus points.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Push, push, push, push...
0:06:42 > 0:06:45So, winning the quiz means that Greg is automatically through to
0:06:45 > 0:06:47play the Pirate Game. Will he be alone,
0:06:47 > 0:06:50or will everyone get to play?
0:06:52 > 0:06:54It's an all-play messy game,
0:06:54 > 0:06:58so that means it's off down the sewer with the lot of you.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02Go on, Monica. Get in there. It's not as smelly as it seems.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04In you go. Follow her down. Lovely stuff.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07Just try and hold your nose there, Jasmine.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09COUGHING
0:07:11 > 0:07:13This game is all about chests and keys.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Where are the keys? Well, that would be telling,
0:07:15 > 0:07:18but there are some clues to help you find them.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21It's time for Pirate Treasure.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24The first person to retrieve the treasure map
0:07:24 > 0:07:25from inside their chest
0:07:25 > 0:07:28will win the Year Sphere, but be warned,
0:07:28 > 0:07:31it may not be as easy as it seems.
0:07:31 > 0:07:32Ha-ha-ha-har!
0:07:32 > 0:07:34Thank you. Are you ready?
0:07:34 > 0:07:36In three, two, one...
0:07:36 > 0:07:38HORN BLARES
0:07:38 > 0:07:43So, our gamers need to read the clues on the chests carefully.
0:07:43 > 0:07:44- Oh!- Yes, difficult.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Difficult, aren't they? They've got to find the appropriate keys
0:07:47 > 0:07:49in the right place.
0:07:49 > 0:07:50There's Jasmine's.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55Pretty clear, she's got to go and find a pirate coat.
0:07:55 > 0:07:59That's the first thing Jasmine has to do. In we get.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02Monica, she's found a key there in her swabbie's bucket.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04That's excellent. Excellent stuff.
0:08:04 > 0:08:08Jasmine's supposed to be looking in a coat. Don't know what she's doing.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10Monica's going to unlock the first trunk.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Jasmine's got a key,
0:08:12 > 0:08:15but that's the wrong key. I can be pretty sure of that.
0:08:15 > 0:08:16Yep, well done.
0:08:16 > 0:08:20She's realised that mistake and gone back to the bucket.
0:08:20 > 0:08:25That is an error, but Monica is off. Now she's got the second clue.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27Here it is.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31I think that's a parrot, Rattus, and there's one.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34- You know your species.- Greg's going about his business quietly.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36He's got the first key there.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40Look at that key. It's absolutely covered in gunge.
0:08:40 > 0:08:44Jasmine, really, this is a waste of time, I'm afraid,
0:08:44 > 0:08:45because your key's in there!
0:08:45 > 0:08:49Now, hang on a minute, Monica's got a key, but that's not the right one.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51That was a bucket, not a parrot.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Jasmine's still nowhere near a coat.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Now, the second chest emerging for Greg.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59- Brilliant, isn't it, Rattus?- Excellent.
0:08:59 > 0:09:03Excellent result. Greg's doing very well on today's programme.
0:09:03 > 0:09:04And as we can see,
0:09:04 > 0:09:07Greg needs the swabbie's bucket for his second key.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10He's looking for it, he's looking for it.
0:09:10 > 0:09:11There's a hand.
0:09:11 > 0:09:15- Excellent, excellent hand there. - Did I notice
0:09:15 > 0:09:18- a tooth mark in that hand? Has someone been nibbling?- Might have.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21I've told you not to meddle with the props
0:09:21 > 0:09:23before the games have taken place.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Monica still struggling to work out her clue.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Over here!
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Jasmine's got to a hiatus here.
0:09:30 > 0:09:31She seems to be stuck.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34Well, she's either considering it or she's completely bemused.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37Yes, it's one of the two, isn't it? One of the two.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40Hello, this looks good.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43- Greg's gone into a storming lead here, Rattus.- He has,
0:09:43 > 0:09:45but Monica is struggling with the lock.
0:09:45 > 0:09:49Well, neither girls have got the right key, that's why.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52There's the third chest, it's the third chest.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55Yes, Greg is really close now. All he's got to do is look very
0:09:55 > 0:09:58carefully at the instructions. He's put slime
0:09:58 > 0:10:00on the instructions. Greg!
0:10:00 > 0:10:03But he's after the hanging bag, and he's at the hanging bag.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07- He's found the key, Rattus. - He's found it!
0:10:07 > 0:10:09This is very exciting. He's opening the third chest now.
0:10:09 > 0:10:13Can he be caught from here? I wouldn't have thought so.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16- He's opened the third chest. - He's opened the chest!
0:10:16 > 0:10:17Oh! He's got the scroll!
0:10:17 > 0:10:21Greg has won the Pirate Treasure challenge.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24# Horrible Histories Gory Games. #
0:10:24 > 0:10:28Greg, collect yourself your Pirate Treasure/Year Sphere.
0:10:28 > 0:10:32Did you know that in pirate times, maps were considered to be treasure?
0:10:32 > 0:10:35They were rare and showed all the trade routes,
0:10:35 > 0:10:37so pirates could lie in wait for merchant ships to pass
0:10:37 > 0:10:39and steal their precious cargo.
0:10:39 > 0:10:44- Don't you mean precious Caaargh-go? - No, I don't.
0:10:44 > 0:10:48Moving swiftly on. On to round two, and to find out what's up next,
0:10:48 > 0:10:50it's over to the Gory Grid.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53It's the Rotten Romans.
0:10:53 > 0:10:54Here are your Roman Topics.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Greg, it's your turn to pick a topic first.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03- Away you go.- Hygiene, please.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05True or false -
0:11:05 > 0:11:09we Romans gargled human wee as a type of mouthwash?
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Let's see your answers now, please.
0:11:11 > 0:11:15And you've all gone for true. Let's find out.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17It's true.
0:11:17 > 0:11:21Yes, gargle with wee for the fresh, fresh whiff of the toilet.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27Do not try gargling wee at home.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Unless you're a Roman or a rat.
0:11:30 > 0:11:31Unless those two things.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34So, that's a point to everyone. An excellent start.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37- Monica, please pick a topic. - Sport, please.
0:11:39 > 0:11:40True or false -
0:11:40 > 0:11:43in Roman horseraces, the losing horse was killed?
0:11:45 > 0:11:48Well, you've all agreed again. You've gone for false.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50See if you're right.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52It's false.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54It was the winning horse that was killed
0:11:54 > 0:11:56as a sacrifice to Mars, the god of war.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00Always a good idea to keep in the god of war's good books.
0:12:00 > 0:12:04And at the finish line it's Unlucky Boy who wins by a head,
0:12:04 > 0:12:07which is to be chopped off. Eurgh! Imagine. Horrible!
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Oh, I can imagine it. It's great!
0:12:09 > 0:12:13Terrible, It's terrible. Well, you're all doing very well.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Two points each. Lovely.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18- It's your turn, Jasmine, to pick a topic.- Can I have Britain, please?
0:12:18 > 0:12:21- Britain.- Oh, it's a prop question.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24There are our props. Two apples.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26True or false -
0:12:26 > 0:12:30it was Romans who first brought apples to Britain?
0:12:30 > 0:12:33You've all gone for false.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35Well, I can tell you that it's actually true.
0:12:35 > 0:12:39The Romans also introduced roses to Britain.
0:12:39 > 0:12:44Yeah, as well as cats. Stupid Romans!
0:12:44 > 0:12:46I think cats are lovely.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49OK, the final question. You're all level pegging.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52You're all still in this. This question's crucial,
0:12:52 > 0:12:55and it is a question on punishment.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Is this true or false?
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Let's see your answers now, please.
0:13:09 > 0:13:14Jasmine and Monica go for true, Greg goes for false.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17I can tell you that it's false.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20In fact, the punishment involved
0:13:20 > 0:13:22one in ten soldiers being stoned to death.
0:13:22 > 0:13:27Greg has won another Year Sphere. Fantastic work, Greg.
0:13:27 > 0:13:31As the quiz winner, you're also through to play the Roman Game,
0:13:31 > 0:13:34but will it be just you, or will the others play too?
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Oh, it's a single-player Brainy Game.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45Greg, back down the time sewer with you.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Go on, get in there. It's not too horrible.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Phew, it stinks!
0:13:52 > 0:13:55The Romans had a god for just about anything.
0:13:55 > 0:14:00For instance, they even had Deverra, goddess of brooms.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02I guess they'd run out of the good jobs.
0:14:03 > 0:14:04It's time to play...
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Seven odd gods, then, but two are totally made up.
0:14:08 > 0:14:12Your challenge is to work out which five are the real Roman gods.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15Choose five names, then move them to the real boards.
0:14:15 > 0:14:19Then touch Deverra's broom to find out how many you've got right.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21Keep trying new combinations of names,
0:14:21 > 0:14:24but be quick, because you're against the clock.
0:14:24 > 0:14:25And your time starts now.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27HOOTER BLARES
0:14:27 > 0:14:32Here goes Greg. What's going to be his choice for his first real god?
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Robigus, god of mildew.
0:14:34 > 0:14:39Well, it sounds funny, doesn't it? But, you know, Romans did have gods
0:14:39 > 0:14:42for virtually everything, so he could well be right.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45He might be wrong. What's your assessment, Rattus?
0:14:45 > 0:14:48He's reading the words from the beginning to the end,
0:14:48 > 0:14:50which you find difficult, Dave.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53I do find that very difficult. He is doing well.
0:14:53 > 0:14:58Look at that, he's got all five up. Let's see how he's going to do.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00You've four right.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03He's got four right. I won't give away which one is wrong,
0:15:03 > 0:15:06because people at home are playing.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09- And you don't know the answer. - Yes, that as well.
0:15:09 > 0:15:13Anyway, Robigus is gone, and up comes Infesta, goddess of head lice.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18You have three right.
0:15:18 > 0:15:23He's now got more wrong, so Infesta, goddess of head lice must come off.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26That makes sense. Up goes Robigus.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Back up there for Robigus.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31He's taken Vanilla, god of ice cream, off.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34Where does that leave us? What's he doing here?
0:15:34 > 0:15:37Invidia, goddess of jealousy.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41- This looks good. And I think he's done it.- You have all five right.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44- Yes, yes.- Well, what a brainy child!
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Greg, choose yourself another Year Sphere.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51And you're quite right. The made-up ones were Infesta,
0:15:51 > 0:15:54goddess of head lice, and Vanilla, god of ice cream.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59- It isn't that funny. - No, it isn't, really.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02Romans really believed in gods of mildew and cupboards,
0:16:02 > 0:16:06door hinges and jealousy, as well as a Roman goddess of sewers.
0:16:06 > 0:16:10Or as we rats know her, goddess of home.
0:16:10 > 0:16:15So, over to the Gory Grid to find out what's up next.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17It's the Vile Victorians. Good day.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Here are your four Vile Victorian topics.
0:16:20 > 0:16:26Gadgets, cures, criminals and cars.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29- Monica, it's your turn to pick first.- Criminals, please.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34True or false - Victorians believed they could tell a criminal
0:16:34 > 0:16:37just by their looks and general appearance?
0:16:37 > 0:16:38Hmm.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Do you all have an answer?
0:16:43 > 0:16:45And you've all gone for true.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47Well, let's find out.
0:16:47 > 0:16:48It's true.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51They believed sure signs of being a criminal were
0:16:51 > 0:16:54a low forehead, dirty face, heavy dark eyebrows...
0:16:54 > 0:16:58Hold on, I'm describing myself here.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00It wasn't me, Officer, I promise!
0:17:00 > 0:17:02Mmm, we've only got your word for that.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05So, Jasmine, your turn to pick a topic.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08- Gadgets, please.- Gadgets. That...
0:17:08 > 0:17:13- Which prop... Sorry, I'm excited! - Rattus has just excitedly told you
0:17:13 > 0:17:18it is a prop question, and there is your prop. True or false -
0:17:18 > 0:17:23here is a genuine Victorian contraption which was made
0:17:23 > 0:17:26for making crinkly toasted sandwiches?
0:17:26 > 0:17:30You've all gone for false. You're all absolutely right.
0:17:30 > 0:17:34Of course it's not for making crinkly toasted sandwiches.
0:17:34 > 0:17:39It is actually a Victorian iron, which was used for ironing ruffs,
0:17:39 > 0:17:43- which were special Victorian collars. Oh, yeah.- Was it hard,
0:17:43 > 0:17:46ironing your collars in Victorian times, Dave?
0:17:46 > 0:17:48Cos you were alive back then, weren't you?
0:17:48 > 0:17:52Is it me or can anyone else hear a really irritating noise? No?
0:17:52 > 0:17:55No, must be just me, then.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Greg, your turn to pick a topic.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00Cures, please.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02True or false -
0:18:02 > 0:18:06a Victorian cure for a cold was to wrap a dead snake around your neck?
0:18:07 > 0:18:11Jasmine and Greg going for true, Monica going for false.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13It's false.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16A cure for a cold was to wrap a sweaty sock around your neck.
0:18:16 > 0:18:20Fortunately, when your nose is blocked, you can't smell it!
0:18:21 > 0:18:24I'm glad I can't smell your socks.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Monica, you did well.
0:18:26 > 0:18:30You've gone into the lead. There's one question left. Cars.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33Is this true or false -
0:18:33 > 0:18:38a man would walk in front of early Victorian cars waving a red flag
0:18:38 > 0:18:41to warn other road users that the car was coming?
0:18:41 > 0:18:43You've all gone for true.
0:18:43 > 0:18:47- It's true.- You're absolutely right.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50Early Victorian cars travelled so slowly.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53The speed limit was only four miles an hour.
0:18:53 > 0:18:54The good old days,
0:18:54 > 0:18:57when there were fewer squashed animals on the road.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00I can think of one animal I wouldn't mind seeing squashed.
0:19:00 > 0:19:04- Not really, Rattus.- I just... Oh... - I love you really.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07That means that Monica, with a clean sweep, four out of four,
0:19:07 > 0:19:12has won the Year Sphere, so choose a Year Sphere for us, Monica.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Don't forget, BC dates will be subtracted from your final score.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18You are through to play the Victorian game,
0:19:18 > 0:19:21but will it be an all-play or a single-play game?
0:19:24 > 0:19:30It's a single-play brainy game. So, Monica, you know the drill.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33Down that time sewer with you. Go on, in you go.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37There she goes. Bye.
0:19:39 > 0:19:40It's horrible.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42Brunel was a brilliant Victorian engineer,
0:19:42 > 0:19:44but a very average magician.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46While performing a magic trick in 1843,
0:19:46 > 0:19:51he accidently swallowed a coin, which became lodged in his throat.
0:19:51 > 0:19:54Brunel dislodged the coin with the aid of a clever device.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56It's time to play...
0:19:58 > 0:20:01Your challenge is to work out which cog goes where.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04Once they're in the right place, turn the wheel
0:20:04 > 0:20:07to flip Brunel upside down, to dislodge the coin
0:20:07 > 0:20:08and win your Year Sphere.
0:20:08 > 0:20:13Be quick, you're against the clock, which is starting to tick now.
0:20:15 > 0:20:19Here we go with Barmy Brunel, a game of invention and imagination.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21It certainly is. I'm imagining it.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23It's going to be the best game.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26What an extraordinary start. She's gone straight in,
0:20:26 > 0:20:28and I think that's the correct one.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31It interlocks nicely with the main driving cog.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34- It does appear to do that. - Yes, now in goes number two.
0:20:34 > 0:20:35Is it a good fit?
0:20:35 > 0:20:39Mmm, certainly room for it on the end there, isn't there?
0:20:39 > 0:20:41- There certainly is. - She only needs to find
0:20:41 > 0:20:43two more cogs, and she's there.
0:20:43 > 0:20:47Oh, this is amazing, there's one right there. Just needs one more.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50She's almost done it. She's going to do it.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53The last cog going into place now. She's done it already!
0:20:53 > 0:20:54Extraordinary.
0:20:54 > 0:20:58Look out, here goes Brunel. He's tipping it over.
0:20:58 > 0:20:59- Wow.- Brunel is over.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02The coin will be nestling on the roof of his mouth.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05She's got it, the coin is out of Brunel's mouth,
0:21:05 > 0:21:07and it's all thanks to Monica.
0:21:07 > 0:21:11Well done, Monica. Collect yourself a Year Sphere.
0:21:11 > 0:21:15Did you know, Brunel's full name was Isambard Kingdom Brunel?
0:21:15 > 0:21:17What bizarre Christian names, eh?
0:21:17 > 0:21:19- Actually, I've been meaning to ask you...- Yes.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22- Have you got a middle name? - Yes, I do, actually.
0:21:22 > 0:21:26- Come on, what is it?- It's Rattus.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29Rattus Rattus Rattus?
0:21:29 > 0:21:32- That is lazy of your parents. - When you've got 100 kids,
0:21:32 > 0:21:34good Christian names are in short supply.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37Fair enough. Well done, everybody.
0:21:37 > 0:21:41You're playing well. Jasmine, don't worry about not having spheres,
0:21:41 > 0:21:45because you can win the game with no spheres. Time for the final round.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Over to the Gory Grid to find out what we've got.
0:21:48 > 0:21:52- It's the Measly Middle Ages. - No quirky quiz in our final round.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55It's straight to our big all-play Middle Ages end game,
0:21:55 > 0:21:58and it is a very, very messy one.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01Get back down that time sewer.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03That's it, Monica.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Just follow the others, Jasmine.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13Now, being a gong farmer may sound like a nice enough job,
0:22:13 > 0:22:18but let me tell you, it wasn't as you'll find out when we play...
0:22:19 > 0:22:22"Gong" was a Middle Ages word for poop,
0:22:22 > 0:22:25and your job is to collect the gong from the cess pit,
0:22:25 > 0:22:29carry it and slop it into your measuring cylinder.
0:22:29 > 0:22:33Whoever collects the most collects the Year Sphere.
0:22:33 > 0:22:37Oh, a word of warning. Some people would poo directly through holes
0:22:37 > 0:22:40in the floor onto the street below.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Nice. So your lane is going to get very slippery.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45Ready, steady, get sloppy!
0:22:47 > 0:22:51The gong farming begins, and they each hare down their lanes
0:22:51 > 0:22:55to fill up their buckets with poop. Rattus, what do you think of this?
0:22:55 > 0:22:57Oh, I think it's the best game ever.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00- I thought you might. - It's poopalicious.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02I'd call it poopadoopalicious.
0:23:02 > 0:23:06And look at that! Well, Jasmine's already got one bucket load
0:23:06 > 0:23:10into her cylinder. Make sure your bucket is brimming with poo.
0:23:10 > 0:23:14That's right, Dave, and the other problem with the buckets
0:23:14 > 0:23:18is they are canvas-like buckets as opposed to solid buckets,
0:23:18 > 0:23:20so as they're running, they drop their buckets,
0:23:20 > 0:23:22they lose all their gong.
0:23:22 > 0:23:26No, and I can see you certainly don't want that to happen.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Monica seems to be doing very well now.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Monica's doing very well indeed.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34She is, she is, but Greg, whilst he's very, very quick,
0:23:34 > 0:23:36never seems to take much poo with him.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Getting slippery already,
0:23:38 > 0:23:41- because those buckets have tiny holes in the bottom.- Tiny holes?
0:23:41 > 0:23:45They're secreting a certain amount of gong onto the runway there.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48It's cruel of us to have put holes in the buckets,
0:23:48 > 0:23:53but it is very funny when they fall over and get covered in filth.
0:23:53 > 0:23:57Oh, taken a tumble! Poor Greg.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00He'll be back up, though. He is wearing proper safety equipment.
0:24:00 > 0:24:04Of course, it's very important for me to point out
0:24:04 > 0:24:08- that none of this is real poop. - What, it's not real poop?!
0:24:08 > 0:24:09Of course it's not real!
0:24:09 > 0:24:12We can't have children rolling around in poop.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Well, what's the point of... Oh!
0:24:14 > 0:24:16There's the gong! Oh, my word!
0:24:16 > 0:24:18And they did not like that.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21If they weren't messy before, they're messy now.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24Poor old Greg is absolutely covered in the stuff.
0:24:24 > 0:24:2630 seconds remaining.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29Yeah, absolutely. Well, there's Greg emptying...
0:24:29 > 0:24:31He doesn't seem to empty much in, Greg, does he?
0:24:31 > 0:24:33He seems to be losing his poop.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37He does. He seems to be dropping his gong.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39He arrives at the cylinder and doesn't get any in,
0:24:39 > 0:24:42but never mind, because here's Monica.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Struggling over that middle way break.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46- Dear me.- What fool decided to
0:24:46 > 0:24:48- put that in, I don't know. - I don't know.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Monica is doing extremely well, though,
0:24:51 > 0:24:53she has moved a lot of poop. It's all over.
0:24:53 > 0:24:57It's all over, and Greg has come a poor third.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Jasmine slips into second with a decent amount.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03Monica is the champion gong farmer.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08Oh, you've changed your T-shirts, I'm glad to see.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11Pick yourself a Year Sphere, Monica.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14Of course, in many more remote places, cesspits still exist today,
0:25:14 > 0:25:16though they're
0:25:16 > 0:25:19more sanitary now, and are not usually emptied by hand.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21Oh, why do they have to go and spoil everything?
0:25:21 > 0:25:24Right, time to count those Year Spheres, and remember, AD dates
0:25:24 > 0:25:28are added to the total and BC dates are subtracted,
0:25:28 > 0:25:31and Jasmine, you're chuckling away there,
0:25:31 > 0:25:35but nought could easily be the winning total,
0:25:35 > 0:25:38because there are BC totals which could put the others
0:25:38 > 0:25:39into minus territory.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42We come to you, Greg. You've won four Year Spheres.
0:25:42 > 0:25:46Let's see what you've got. Open that first one for me, please.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Oh, Greg, there is one of those BC totals.
0:25:48 > 0:25:52432 BC, the building of the Parthenon was
0:25:52 > 0:25:56finished in Athens that year.
0:25:56 > 0:26:001483 AD, Richard II became King of England, and more importantly,
0:26:00 > 0:26:03that's put you back into the positives.
0:26:03 > 0:26:0837 AD, Caligula became Emperor of Rome.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11And your final one. Let's have a look at it.
0:26:11 > 0:26:151939 AD, the start of the Second World War, which means
0:26:15 > 0:26:19you end up with a positive score of 3,027.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21So that is what you've got to beat, Monica.
0:26:21 > 0:26:25Let's start by opening your first Sphere.
0:26:25 > 0:26:3055 BC, Julius Caesar invaded Britain.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33We don't need any more BCs. We need big positives. Oh, no!
0:26:33 > 0:26:381323 BC, the death of Tutankhamen.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Let's have a look at the third one.
0:26:40 > 0:26:421891 AD. Well, at least you've clawed your way
0:26:42 > 0:26:44back into the positives.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47Your total has ended up as 513.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50For those interested, by the way,
0:26:50 > 0:26:53- in 1891, school was made free for every child.- Hurray!
0:26:53 > 0:26:54A significant thing.
0:26:54 > 0:27:00So, Greg is today's winner with 3,027 points, and he goes home
0:27:00 > 0:27:05with our star prize, and our prizes really do have the wow factor.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08As in, "Wow, I can't believe they call that a prize."
0:27:08 > 0:27:12It's over to my furry friend to find out what trash he's plucked out
0:27:12 > 0:27:15of the time sewers for you today.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17- Rattus?- It's a plate.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19It's a plate.
0:27:19 > 0:27:25- Is that it?- It's a Saxon plate made out of 100% pure horse poo!
0:27:25 > 0:27:28Should have seen that coming.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30Yes. Greg, here it is.
0:27:30 > 0:27:33I'm so sorry about this. It's a horse poo plate. Enjoy it.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35Don't, whatever you do, eat off it.
0:27:35 > 0:27:39It just remains for me to say thanks to our champion Greg.
0:27:39 > 0:27:42Thanks to our gallant runners-up
0:27:42 > 0:27:45Jasmine and Monica, and no thanks whatsoever to Rattus.
0:27:45 > 0:27:49- You've been watching Gory Games. Goodbye.- Goodbye.
0:27:49 > 0:27:51You know, I think I've only ever eaten off poo plates.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53Couldn't be less surprised.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:07 > 0:28:10E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk