0:00:02 > 0:00:05# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing
0:00:05 > 0:00:07# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king
0:00:07 > 0:00:10# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo
0:00:10 > 0:00:13# You'd better turn off This show ain't for you
0:00:13 > 0:00:18# Still watching? Then let's test your brains
0:00:18 > 0:00:20# With Horrible History's Gory Games
0:00:20 > 0:00:24# Horrible History's Gory...Games. #
0:00:24 > 0:00:26Hello and welcome to Gory Games with me,
0:00:26 > 0:00:29Dave Lamb, and my ir-rat-ating assistant, Rattus Rattus.
0:00:29 > 0:00:34- Ir-rat-ating? That's very funny, but it's not very nice.- No, it's not,
0:00:34 > 0:00:38- and neither is using my toothbrush as a back-scratcher.- Yeah.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Ah, er, fair enough. Apologies.
0:00:41 > 0:00:42Yes. This is the show where you get
0:00:42 > 0:00:46to test your knowledge of Horrible Histories by playing games
0:00:46 > 0:00:48that cover you not only in glory, but also in gunge.
0:00:48 > 0:00:52So, let's meet today's foolhardy Horrible Historians.
0:00:52 > 0:00:56- Hi, I'm George.- I'm Hope.- Hi, I'm Saqlain.- Lovely to see you all.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59- Dave!- What?- Dave!- What? - Dave!- What?!- Dave!- Oh...!
0:00:59 > 0:01:05Dave, Dave! Today's little warm-up game is designed to do just that -
0:01:05 > 0:01:06warm you up.
0:01:06 > 0:01:10You see, the trenches of World War I were seriously freezing in winter,
0:01:10 > 0:01:14- so the soldiers were given something to help them keep warm.- Right!
0:01:14 > 0:01:18So this is a game about seeing how many extra layers of army uniform
0:01:18 > 0:01:21- our contestants can get on in under a minute?- Er...
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Not quite, no. They have to strip off their clothes
0:01:24 > 0:01:28and cover themselves from head to toe in lovely greasy whale fat.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Right, then, contestants - blubber at the ready.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33- Three, two, one... - No, no.- ..go.- No way.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36But it's what the World War I soldiers did, Dave.
0:01:36 > 0:01:40- Surely we have to be true to history!- Oh, do we now?!
0:01:40 > 0:01:44- You know what else they used to do in the trenches, don't you?- What?
0:01:44 > 0:01:47- Eat rats! Dinner time!- No!
0:01:47 > 0:01:51- You wouldn't, would you?!- Well, I might. Just behave yourself.- Hmm.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55OK! George, Hope, Saqlain,
0:01:55 > 0:01:57you are playing to win Year Spheres.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00Each Year Sphere contains a historical date.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03At the end of the show, your Year Sphere dates will be added together
0:02:03 > 0:02:06with AD dates being ADded to your total
0:02:06 > 0:02:09and BC dates being suBtraCted from it.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12So, if these were your Year Spheres, your total would be, Rattus?
0:02:12 > 0:02:14735.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Yes, that's right! Say that again.
0:02:16 > 0:02:21- Three.- Yeah. I thought that was too good to be true. 735 is the answer.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24At the end, the person with the highest year score
0:02:24 > 0:02:27- will win a unique historical prize. - That's right.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30- Something I've chosen myself. - Which sadly can only be bad news.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32- Oi!- Well!
0:02:32 > 0:02:33Right, let's get cracking.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36To find out who this round's about, it's over to the Gory Grid.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39It's the Awful Egyptians.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42Four questions on the Awful Egyptians coming up.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45The person who gets the most right wins the first Year Sphere.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48And your four Egyptian topics are...
0:02:53 > 0:02:55George, it's your turn to pick first. What do you fancy?
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Um, Pyramids, please.
0:02:57 > 0:02:58Pyramids.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00True or false?
0:03:00 > 0:03:03Pyramids, our burial tombs, were built near the Nile
0:03:03 > 0:03:07so, in the afterlife, we could have a nice view of the mighty river.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Let's see those answers now, please.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13OK. Hope and Saqlain agreeing on true,
0:03:13 > 0:03:17George is alone on false and looks like he's beginning to regret it.
0:03:17 > 0:03:18Let's find out who's right.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21It's false. They were built near the Nile
0:03:21 > 0:03:25as the huge stones had to be carried from quarries by boat.
0:03:25 > 0:03:29Nothing to worry about, George. You were right. You get the first point.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32- Hope, it's your turn to pick a topic.- Can I have pets, please?
0:03:32 > 0:03:34Pets.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37That's a question from my esteemed colleague, Mr Rattus Rattus.
0:03:37 > 0:03:38True or false?
0:03:38 > 0:03:44After they died, wealthy people had their pet cats mummified as well.
0:03:45 > 0:03:49Everybody has gone for true. Interesting.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Rattus, are they are all right or all wrong?
0:03:51 > 0:03:54They are all...
0:03:54 > 0:03:57right! Ha-ha! Yes, it's true!
0:03:57 > 0:04:00And I certainly am in favour of cats being mummified.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04All cats, whether alive or dead. The sooner the better.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06RATTUS CACKLES
0:04:06 > 0:04:08What?! I'm a rodent! I don't like cats!
0:04:08 > 0:04:10Yes, that is coming across.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13Saqlain, your turn to pick a topic.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16- Dates.- Dates. That is a prop question.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19We love a prop question, especially one we can eat after.
0:04:19 > 0:04:24Not yet. There they are - dates. True or false?
0:04:24 > 0:04:29Egyptians used trained goats to pick dates from tall trees.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32Everybody has gone for false.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34I can tell you that it IS false.
0:04:34 > 0:04:38Well done. They used trained baboons, in fact.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Right, George, you're in the lead with three
0:04:40 > 0:04:43but anyone could catch up by getting this right.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46The final question in this round is on servants.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48True or false?
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Us Pharaohs did very little for ourselves
0:04:50 > 0:04:53and even had a servant to wipe our bottoms.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56RATTUS WHEEZES Bottom!
0:04:56 > 0:05:00- It's... bottom! - I do apologise, everyone.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03Rattus finds the word bottom extremely amusing.
0:05:03 > 0:05:08Enough now, Rattus. OK. Let's see those answers now, please.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12Everybody has gone for true. What's the answer?
0:05:12 > 0:05:16It's true. You didn't honestly expect me to do it myself, did you?
0:05:16 > 0:05:20HE LAUGHS: Anyway, being a royal bum-wiper was a top job.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23Well...more of a bottom one. HE LAUGHS
0:05:23 > 0:05:27There's that B word again. It's set him off, I'm afraid.
0:05:27 > 0:05:31At the end of that round, George, you have maximum points. Fantastic.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33And that means that you have won the quiz.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35It's time to pick a Year Sphere.
0:05:35 > 0:05:39Push, push, push, push! Hey, George. Oh, there we go.
0:05:39 > 0:05:40Come and pick a Year Sphere.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43Go on, do you want a clue? I haven't got a clue.
0:05:43 > 0:05:44You said it.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Oi! Cheeky.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48- Are you sure that's the one you want?- Yes.- OK.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Push, push, push, push...
0:05:50 > 0:05:53So winning the quiz means George is automatically through to play
0:05:53 > 0:05:56the Egyptian Game, but will he be alone
0:05:56 > 0:05:59or will everyone get to play? Let's find out.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04It's an All Play silly game,
0:06:04 > 0:06:08so it's off down the Time Sewer with the lot of you. Lead on, Saqlain.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15- See you, George.- It stinks!
0:06:17 > 0:06:20Now, Egyptian Pharaoh King Pepi II
0:06:20 > 0:06:22was just six years old when he came to the throne,
0:06:22 > 0:06:26which might explain some of his more unusual ideas, such as this one.
0:06:26 > 0:06:31Flies were a huge problem in ancient Egypt, but King Pepi had a solution.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Pour honey over slaves and stand them
0:06:33 > 0:06:35in the corners of the room to attract the flies.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38It's time to play...
0:06:38 > 0:06:41You are a honey slave. Your challenge - to catch as many flies
0:06:41 > 0:06:45on your honey suit and fly swat as possible. The person who catches
0:06:45 > 0:06:49the most in the time limit wins the Year Sphere. Here come those flies.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51In three, two, one...
0:06:51 > 0:06:52HOOTER BLARES
0:06:52 > 0:06:55So, here we go, then, with the Egyptian Honey Slaves
0:06:55 > 0:06:58and they're trying to catch those flies on their fly swats
0:06:58 > 0:07:02- and on their person, Rattus. - They certainly are, Dave.
0:07:02 > 0:07:07- Of course, their person being covered, smothered in honey.- Yep.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10Absolutely. And there's a lovely spread of flies, isn't there?
0:07:10 > 0:07:13Very much being spread out there in a nice wide arc.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17- Got our contestants running around a bit, which I like to see.- Mmm!
0:07:17 > 0:07:21Honey and flies, or as I call it, sweet and sour.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24- RATTUS CACKLES - Truly revolting.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27Can you smell them on my breath? RATTUS BREATHES OUT LOUDLY
0:07:27 > 0:07:30Phew! What a hoy that was!
0:07:32 > 0:07:34George has managed to use
0:07:34 > 0:07:36both sides of his swat, an excellent move early doors,
0:07:36 > 0:07:40and Hope's done the same. No flies about their person as yet.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43Maybe that honey not quite as sticky as they thought.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45George and Hope in the lead together there.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47Oh, and George has taken the lead on his own.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50BONG! DEEP VOICE: '30 seconds remaining!'
0:07:50 > 0:07:54There's 30 seconds left, so they want to get catching those flies.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57George and Hope level pegging now. Maybe, Rattus,
0:07:57 > 0:08:01you might want to think about brushing your teeth one day as well.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Just going back to that breath stink earlier.
0:08:03 > 0:08:07Just have a think about it. Saqlain there has got one on his head.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10Oh, they're coming thick and fast at the end of the game.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13The flies, look at that. Fly, fly, fly, fly, fly.
0:08:13 > 0:08:14No wonder King Pepi wanted to get rid of 'em.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17They're everywhere! There are flies everywhere!
0:08:17 > 0:08:19HOOTER BLARES 'Time's up.'
0:08:19 > 0:08:23That's the end of the game and Hope has been the best at catching flies.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Stick her in the corner and cover her in honey.
0:08:25 > 0:08:29Welcome back. Back behind your podiums, please.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33Marvellous. And the winner, with 14,
0:08:33 > 0:08:36was Hope. So congratulations, Hope. Help yourself to a Year Sphere.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41- Um, this one.- Oh! Is that one a good one
0:08:41 > 0:08:45or is it a bad one? We will find out at the end of the show.
0:08:45 > 0:08:49On to Round 2 and to find out what's up next, it's over to the Gory Grid.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51It's the Vicious Vikings.
0:08:51 > 0:08:56Four questions again, and here are your all-important Viking Topics.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02Hope, your turn to pick first.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05- What are you going to go for? - I'll go for Toilets, please.
0:09:05 > 0:09:10Toilets? And, not surprisingly, that is a question from Mr Rattus Rattus.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12I don't know why you're assuming that. Ahem...
0:09:12 > 0:09:16Which of these would Vikings use instead of toilet paper?
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Let's see your answers now, please.
0:09:26 > 0:09:30OK. The boys agreeing on A. Hope out on her own with B.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33- What's the answer, Rattus? - Well, I can tell you
0:09:33 > 0:09:37it's actually A, moss, yes.
0:09:37 > 0:09:38So next time you're about
0:09:38 > 0:09:41to sit on some moss, do first check it for Viking poop.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44- Ha-ha!- Safety first. OK. Saqlain,
0:09:44 > 0:09:46- it's your turn to choose a topic. - Let's see...
0:09:46 > 0:09:48- Deaths.- Deaths.
0:09:48 > 0:09:52Let's see if you know this one. My question is...
0:10:04 > 0:10:06There they are, all in total agreement.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Are they all wrong or all right?
0:10:08 > 0:10:12Let me put you out of your misery. The answer is...
0:10:14 > 0:10:17I've had cow bones thrown at me too,
0:10:17 > 0:10:19when I was spotted in my local butchers.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23You were lucky to get away with just cow bones, to be honest.
0:10:23 > 0:10:24George, it's your turn to pick a topic.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Explorers, please.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Explorers.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30Answer me this if you can.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44OK. Hope and Saqlain going for A,
0:10:44 > 0:10:46George out on his own on C,
0:10:46 > 0:10:49and looking very, very alarmed by that. Who's right?
0:10:49 > 0:10:52The fact is it's...
0:10:54 > 0:10:57Wow. There you go, George. That's right.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59A Viking was the first European
0:10:59 > 0:11:01to land in America, over a thousand years ago.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Did you learn about that in school, Dave,
0:11:03 > 0:11:05or were you actually on the ship?
0:11:05 > 0:11:09Oh, dear! Right, one question left in this round.
0:11:09 > 0:11:14George, if you were to get it right, you would win another Year Sphere.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17Your final question is on Word Plays, and here it is.
0:11:17 > 0:11:21We Vikings love to use "kennings", or wordplay,
0:11:21 > 0:11:25but what did we mean when we spoke of "the sweat of the sword"?
0:11:32 > 0:11:35OK. The boys going for B,
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Hope on her own with C.
0:11:37 > 0:11:38What's the answer?
0:11:40 > 0:11:43We also called blood "the sea of the wound".
0:11:43 > 0:11:47Well, we needed quite a lot of words for blood. We spilled a lot of it.
0:11:47 > 0:11:48A lot.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50- LAUGHTER - It's true though, isn't it, Rattus?
0:11:50 > 0:11:53Very true. Those naughty Vikings.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55They were very naughty.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57So, at the end of that round, George, you've got a maximum score
0:11:57 > 0:12:00for the second time. That means you've won the Year Sphere.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02- Help yourself.- Cool.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05So, George, you have won the quiz and, because of that,
0:12:05 > 0:12:07you're through to play the Viking Game,
0:12:07 > 0:12:11but will it be just you or will the others get to play? Let's find out.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Ooh! It's a single player brainy game,
0:12:18 > 0:12:23so, George, get your thinking cap on and get back down that Time Sewer.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25Wooh!
0:12:25 > 0:12:28Wooh! Funny way to say goodbye.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33Vikings didn't just raid Britain. Many of them stayed.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35Must have liked our lovely weather.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38And some Viking words have since become part of the English language.
0:12:38 > 0:12:42It's time to play...
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Seven words, but two don't come from the Vikings.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48Your challenge, to work out which five do.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Choose five words and move them to the Viking Board.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54Then touch the Viking Axe - not the sharp bits, mind -
0:12:54 > 0:12:55to find out how many you've got right.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58Keep trying new combinations until you've got all five.
0:12:58 > 0:13:02You must be quick, you're against the clock. And your time starts...
0:13:02 > 0:13:05- now! - HOOTER BLARES
0:13:06 > 0:13:08So a slightly uncertain start there for George.
0:13:08 > 0:13:13Welcome is the first he's gone for. He's looking for five Viking words -
0:13:13 > 0:13:16two of them, of course, not Viking words.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19- Ransack, well that sounds right, doesn't it, Rattus?- Ha-ha!
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Here he goes. What will his third choice be?
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Nausea.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Interesting. Interesting choice.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Scream. That sounds as if it might be right to me as well.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32- Aah!- You're not going to act 'em all out, are you, Rattus?
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Oh, idiot. Maybe you are! He touches the axe.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37- 'You have three right.' - He's got three right!
0:13:37 > 0:13:40Oh, two of those are wrong. And off comes nausea.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42Scare looks better than nausea to me.
0:13:42 > 0:13:46Scare looks a very Viking word, in my opinion.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48He's not touched the axe! How will he know that's correct?
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Never mind, he's taken off idiot
0:13:50 > 0:13:53and he's put on hit. Let's see. Maybe he doesn't need another go.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55- 'You have all five right!' - No, he doesn't!
0:13:55 > 0:13:59- He's got all five!- He's done it! - He's got all five!
0:13:59 > 0:14:01- Celebration!- It's game over.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03Well played. Well played indeed.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06- Go and grab yourself a Year Sphere, why don't you?- Ooh!
0:14:06 > 0:14:09So, you're quite right. "Idiot" and "nausea" aren't Viking words.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11They actually come from Greek.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15Scare, hit, ransack, scream are words we get from the Vikings,
0:14:15 > 0:14:17as, rather surprisingly, is welcome.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Obviously scream is a Viking word.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22They needed a word for that thing that people did when they saw them.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25That is true. Over to the Gory Grid then to find out what's up next.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28It's the Gorgeous Georgians.
0:14:28 > 0:14:32Four questions, as always, and here are your four Georgian topics.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41Saqlain, it's your turn to pick first. What are you going to go for?
0:14:41 > 0:14:45- Kings.- Kings. That is a question from Mr Rattus Rattus.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47At the end of the Georgian era,
0:14:47 > 0:14:55which King reigned after George I, George II, George III and George IV?
0:15:03 > 0:15:06Let's see those answers now, please.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09There we go. Everybody has gone for B.
0:15:09 > 0:15:13No-one has gone for King Rattus I, thankfully.
0:15:13 > 0:15:17- What's the answer, Rattus? - The answer is...
0:15:18 > 0:15:22Bit of a trick question, I admit. But the last king of the Georgian era
0:15:22 > 0:15:26wasn't a George! Oh, no! And just in case you're wondering, Dave,
0:15:26 > 0:15:29King Rattus I is going to be the next King of Britain.
0:15:29 > 0:15:33In your dreams. Right, George, your turn to pick a topic.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35Um, Napoleonic wars, please.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37Napoleonic wars.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40When Britain was at war with France, a French warship
0:15:40 > 0:15:44sank off the coast of Hartlepool and the only survivor was an animal
0:15:44 > 0:15:48dressed in French military uniform. But what kind of animal was it?
0:15:52 > 0:15:57OK. They've all completely agreed with each other again on C.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Let's find out if that's the answer.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01The answer is C - a monkey.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04The good people of Hartlepool, having never seen a Frenchman,
0:16:04 > 0:16:07assumed the monkey was one and, after a brief trial,
0:16:07 > 0:16:09had the monkey executed.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13Oh. It's horrible, it's horrible! But it's true.
0:16:13 > 0:16:17Yeah, grisly, grisly. So, Hope, it's your turn to pick a topic.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19Er, Pets, please.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Pets it is.
0:16:21 > 0:16:25Oh, this is exciting! The question is...
0:16:40 > 0:16:44Up they come. The boys agreeing on A,
0:16:44 > 0:16:47Hope out on her own with B. Let's find out.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50I can tell you the answer is...
0:16:52 > 0:16:57Well, who'd have thought that, eh? Hope would, cos she got it right.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00- RATTUS CACKLES It's true, it's true.- It is true.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Bad luck, though, George. That means you can't get your maximum,
0:17:03 > 0:17:06but you are still in this round with one question left
0:17:06 > 0:17:08and that question is on Puffers.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10What was Captain Richards' Puffer?
0:17:10 > 0:17:12A, a steam train,
0:17:12 > 0:17:14B, a treatment for asthma,
0:17:14 > 0:17:17or C, a Georgian factory chimney?
0:17:18 > 0:17:23That is C for George and Hope, B for Saqlain. Let's find out who's right.
0:17:23 > 0:17:27The answer is A. It was a steam train built by
0:17:27 > 0:17:31Richard Trevithick in 1804. It was the first ever to run on rails.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34I wonder if it was due in 1704.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38You know, the first train arrived in 1804, so it was a bit late!
0:17:38 > 0:17:41Oh! I don't get it.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Oh, suit yourself.
0:17:43 > 0:17:47- Georgians!- Yep, I know what you mean. Excellent.
0:17:47 > 0:17:51Well, at the end of that round we see that Hope, with 3 points,
0:17:51 > 0:17:53is the winner of the Year Sphere. Help yourself, Hope.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57So Hope, you're through to play the Georgian Game, but will it be
0:17:57 > 0:18:00just you or is everyone else coming along too? Let's find out.
0:18:03 > 0:18:07Well, it's a single play silly game, so, Hope,
0:18:07 > 0:18:10off down that Time Sewer with you.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13- Laters!- Laters. - RATTUS LAUGHS
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Picture the scene.
0:18:16 > 0:18:20It's 21st October 1805, and the British Royal Navy
0:18:20 > 0:18:24are about to face the might of the combined French and Spanish fleets.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27It's time to play...
0:18:27 > 0:18:30You are a British Navy gunner. Your mission -
0:18:30 > 0:18:33to load, aim and fire your cannon at the enemy ships.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35You score a point for every enemy ship you shoot,
0:18:35 > 0:18:38and lose a point for every British ship you hit.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Score six points in the time limit to win your Year Sphere.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44And battle begins...now.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46- HOOTER BLARES - So here comes Hope
0:18:46 > 0:18:47to play the Battle of Trafalgar,
0:18:47 > 0:18:50and straight away I'm noticing that that ship is moving about.
0:18:50 > 0:18:54- It's a rough day at sea today, Rattus.- It certainly is.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59Oh, that was close! That pinged up off the sea.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02I don't know how she did that. A bit like skimming stones, I suppose,
0:19:02 > 0:19:04but it didn't trouble the ship.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Oh, she's done it again.
0:19:06 > 0:19:10Again, incredibly close, but again, a little skim up.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12She's wrestling with that cannon.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14She's already got two balls away here...
0:19:16 > 0:19:18..but she's not struck an enemy vessel as yet.
0:19:18 > 0:19:21I have to say, Hope has been very unlucky here.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24They're all in the right ballpark, but nothing striking a target.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Again, another good example of that.
0:19:26 > 0:19:30She really is wrestling with that cannon nicely.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32There's the first!
0:19:32 > 0:19:34There's the first successful strike. A Spanish galleon
0:19:34 > 0:19:37off to Davy Jones's Locker, down at the bottom of the old ocean.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40- There's the seagull back again. - BONG!
0:19:40 > 0:19:43- '30 seconds remaining!'- Afternoon, Squire. There's another one.
0:19:43 > 0:19:44She's doing very, very well, but she is
0:19:44 > 0:19:47running out of time and, if anything, she's speeding up.
0:19:47 > 0:19:48This is an incredible performance.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52Another ship goes down! She could just about
0:19:52 > 0:19:54still do this, if she doesn't miss another ship.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58Oh, and she's missed there. I think that one may cost her,
0:19:58 > 0:20:00but she's struggling on manfully.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02This is an extraordinary performance from Hope.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05Oh, just two more needed now but she's running out of time.
0:20:05 > 0:20:09She's wrestling with her cannon while the ship is being tossed
0:20:09 > 0:20:11and turned on what is now a mountainous sea.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13- HOOTER BLARES - She strikes the last one
0:20:13 > 0:20:18right on the hooter. And after an absolutely heroic effort,
0:20:18 > 0:20:21I'm afraid it's not quite worked out for Hope.
0:20:21 > 0:20:26Very bad luck. Well, what an amazing effort that was,
0:20:26 > 0:20:30and you missed it by one, but it was a very good effort. Very bad luck.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33After Admiral Lord Nelson's death at the Battle of Trafalgar,
0:20:33 > 0:20:36a magnificent memorial was erected in his honour
0:20:36 > 0:20:39and he can now be seen on top of Nelson's Column in Trafalgar Square.
0:20:39 > 0:20:44In life, Nelson was fired upon by enemy snipers.
0:20:44 > 0:20:48In death, Nelson is fired upon by enemy pigeons.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51- Rats with wings.- You meant that as a compliment, right?
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Take a wild guess. Time for the final round.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57Over to the Gory Grid one last time to find out what we've got.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00It's the Measly Middle Ages.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02No quirky quiz in our final round.
0:21:02 > 0:21:06It's straight to our big All Play Middle Ages End Game
0:21:06 > 0:21:09and it is a very messy one. Everybody...
0:21:09 > 0:21:13get back down that Time Sewer one last time.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15- See ya!- See ya!
0:21:15 > 0:21:17- Laters.- Laters.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20- Bye.- Bye, George.
0:21:20 > 0:21:21By George!
0:21:24 > 0:21:25Green rolling fields.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29The smell of freshly cut grass, lambs prancing in the springtime.
0:21:29 > 0:21:33Not my relatives, actual lambs. That's what I try to imagine
0:21:33 > 0:21:36while we're playing our next game, because it's absolutely disgusting.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39Yes, we're going...
0:21:39 > 0:21:43Gong, I'm afraid, was a Middle Ages word for poo,
0:21:43 > 0:21:46and your job is to collect the gong from the cesspit,
0:21:46 > 0:21:49carry it along your lane and slop it into your measuring cylinder.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52Whoever collects the most collects the Year Sphere, but beware,
0:21:52 > 0:21:56some Middle Ages types would poo directly onto the street below,
0:21:56 > 0:21:58so mind your heads.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02Ready, steady, get slopping!
0:22:02 > 0:22:03HOOTER BLOWS
0:22:03 > 0:22:06So here we go, then, with the gong farming and, believe you me,
0:22:06 > 0:22:11it may look dry out there at the moment, but by the end of this game,
0:22:11 > 0:22:13the place is going to be crawling with gong.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16Here they go, then, with their first payload being taken out.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19Look at that. George was down there like a flash.
0:22:19 > 0:22:23Not a huge amount of gong delivered, but look - that is a lot of gong.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25Oh. Hope has a full bucket there,
0:22:25 > 0:22:28- brimming, brimming to the brimful with poop.- Yeah.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30That was a awful lot of poo
0:22:30 > 0:22:32that Hope managed to get down that lane for the first effort.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35She's filled up again magnificently there.
0:22:35 > 0:22:39George is the quickest over the ground. There's no doubt about that.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41And Saqlain is doing an admirable job
0:22:41 > 0:22:45over there in the yellow lane, but Hope is doing remarkably well.
0:22:46 > 0:22:50That's her second full bucket, Dave. Saqlain and George are only getting
0:22:50 > 0:22:53- pitiful amounts of gong at this point.- Yeah,
0:22:53 > 0:22:55but they are making multiple trips.
0:22:55 > 0:22:56It's a clash of styles.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59Oh, and that's bad news for Saqlain.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02Oh, that is very bad news, because that lane will now be slippery.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06Watch this. He's going to struggle here.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Yep, there he goes.
0:23:08 > 0:23:12No such problems for Hope. Another full bucket delivered there.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Problems for George, though.
0:23:15 > 0:23:19- This is the trouble with gong - it gets absolutely everywhere.- Oh!
0:23:19 > 0:23:21Once it's on your lane,
0:23:21 > 0:23:24it really is a mighty problem that you've got to overcome.
0:23:24 > 0:23:27- Everyone falling everywhere there. - RATTUS LAUGHS
0:23:27 > 0:23:31I think actually George has become separated from his bucket there.
0:23:31 > 0:23:35Meanwhile, Hope is just quietly going about her business,
0:23:35 > 0:23:39she's not spilt a drop, although now the gong has fallen and so now,
0:23:39 > 0:23:41everyone is in trouble. I wouldn't be surprised
0:23:41 > 0:23:43if no one can stand up from here on in.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45BONG! '30 seconds remaining!'
0:23:45 > 0:23:47There we go.
0:23:47 > 0:23:48That's the kind of thing.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50She's down straight away, but she already may have done enough.
0:23:50 > 0:23:54That's a deluge of dung. Now, how's George going to get up here
0:23:54 > 0:23:56with a bucket full of gong and a slippery runway?
0:23:56 > 0:23:59I don't think he's got much hope, to be honest.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Saqlain looks as if he's all but given up,
0:24:01 > 0:24:05and I don't blame him. It really is treacherous, as Hope demonstrates.
0:24:05 > 0:24:09And there we go. George is going for the commando crawl.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11He's commando-crawling
0:24:11 > 0:24:13- through at least two inches of gong. - HOOTER BLOWS
0:24:13 > 0:24:15- 'Time's up!'- There's the hooter!
0:24:15 > 0:24:19It's all over! Hope is victorious because she collected a lot of poo,
0:24:19 > 0:24:22while the boys have just been rolling around in it!
0:24:22 > 0:24:24There's poo everywhere, Dave!
0:24:24 > 0:24:27- It's like a strange and beautiful dream!- Eugh!
0:24:27 > 0:24:30Thankfully, they've cleaned themselves up a bit.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33Go and stand behind your podiums. That looked
0:24:33 > 0:24:38incredibly, incredibly messy. Hope, that was a clever technique.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41You walked slowly, deliberately, so you didn't spill any.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44I knew it from the start that, if I did it slowly but got more gunge,
0:24:44 > 0:24:45I might have a better chance.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48It was very clever. Whereas the boys were haring up and down,
0:24:48 > 0:24:51spilling stuff, falling about the place. It was very interesting.
0:24:51 > 0:24:56Hope, you were our winner, so help yourself to another Year Sphere.
0:24:58 > 0:25:02- Mmm... No. - Ooh, a last-minute change of heart.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04Could that be crucial? We'll find out shortly.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Apparently, the gases from the gong could sometimes
0:25:07 > 0:25:11- cause gong farmers to fall unconscious and drown in poo.- Oh!
0:25:11 > 0:25:12That's the way I want to go.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15But you wanted to go while eating a mouldy pickled onion!
0:25:15 > 0:25:18I do. That's what I'm doing when I fall in the poo.
0:25:18 > 0:25:22Brilliant. Time to count up those Year Spheres and, remember,
0:25:22 > 0:25:27AD years are added to your total and BC are subtracted from it.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29So, Saqlain, that means
0:25:29 > 0:25:32you are still very much in with a chance of winning this.
0:25:32 > 0:25:33Let's count up the Year Spheres.
0:25:33 > 0:25:37George, will you open your first Year Sphere for me, please?
0:25:38 > 0:25:4230 BC. It's bad, but it's not disastrous.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45It's also the year that Queen Cleopatra died.
0:25:45 > 0:25:501854 AD. The beginning of the Crimean War,
0:25:50 > 0:25:53you're back in the game. Let's have a look at that third one.
0:25:53 > 0:25:571453 AD. The end of the Hundred Years War.
0:25:57 > 0:26:01Which means you've ended up with a very positive score indeed, George.
0:26:01 > 0:26:04That total is 3,277.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07A good score, which means that, Saqlain,
0:26:07 > 0:26:10I'm afraid, with no Year Spheres, you can no longer win.
0:26:10 > 0:26:14Now, Hope. You still can. Let's have a look at your first sphere.
0:26:16 > 0:26:2179 AD. Pompeii destroyed by Mount Vesuvius.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25Oh, dear me!
0:26:25 > 0:26:3110,500 BC. The end of the last Ice Age,
0:26:31 > 0:26:33but that's cold comfort, I'm afraid, for you, Hope!
0:26:33 > 0:26:36Let's have a look at your final sphere anyway.
0:26:36 > 0:26:40Oh, dear me, it's 110,000 BC.
0:26:40 > 0:26:44Neanderthals first came to Britain around about then.
0:26:44 > 0:26:48You've ended up with a score of -120,421,
0:26:48 > 0:26:53which means that today's winner, with 3,277 points,
0:26:53 > 0:26:57is George, who'll be taking home our star prize.
0:26:57 > 0:26:58But don't get too excited,
0:26:58 > 0:27:01it was plucked out of the Time Sewer by my little colleague here.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03I'll have you know, Mr Lamb,
0:27:03 > 0:27:07today the award for our lucky winner is food fit for a king.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10In fact, it's exactly what Charles II himself
0:27:10 > 0:27:12liked to have on his eggs in the morning.
0:27:12 > 0:27:16Oh, right! So, what, freshly caught smoked salmon, was it, maybe?
0:27:16 > 0:27:17Shaved truffle, caviar?
0:27:17 > 0:27:20Even better! Whale phlegm!
0:27:20 > 0:27:24Of course, back in Stuart times, they called it ambergris,
0:27:24 > 0:27:26basically the snot from a whale's blow hole.
0:27:26 > 0:27:30Charming. We have hit a new all-time low.
0:27:30 > 0:27:31So con-rat-ulations, George!
0:27:31 > 0:27:35Well done, George. There you go. Sorry it's absolutely disgusting.
0:27:35 > 0:27:40- Ooh, lovely!- It just remains for me to say thanks to our winner, George,
0:27:40 > 0:27:42and also thanks to our runners up, Hope and Saqlain.
0:27:42 > 0:27:46- and no thanks whatsoever to Rattus. - Oh, it's a pleasure as always.
0:27:46 > 0:27:49- You've been watching Gory Games. Goodbye.- Goodbye!
0:27:51 > 0:27:53# Was that show messy enough for you?
0:27:53 > 0:27:56# Or would you have preferred a little more poo?
0:27:56 > 0:27:59# Have you had your fill of blood, guts and gore?
0:27:59 > 0:28:02# Or have we left you still wanting more?
0:28:02 > 0:28:06- # Well, keep watching - We'll be back again
0:28:06 > 0:28:09# With Horrible History's Gory Games
0:28:09 > 0:28:12# Horrible History's Gory...Games. #
0:28:12 > 0:28:14Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd