Episode 4

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0:00:02 > 0:00:03Rattus.

0:00:05 > 0:00:09- Rattus, we're on in five minutes. - Eh?- We're on in five minutes.

0:00:09 > 0:00:10All right, then.

0:00:10 > 0:00:13I'm just laying down some vocals on my brilliant new track.

0:00:13 > 0:00:16- It's a guaranteed number two. - Surely you mean number one.

0:00:16 > 0:00:19- No, I always prefer number twos. - Of course you do.

0:00:21 > 0:00:24# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

0:00:24 > 0:00:27# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

0:00:27 > 0:00:30# If you're easily scared and you don't laugh at poo

0:00:30 > 0:00:33# You better turn off This show ain't for you

0:00:33 > 0:00:35# Still watching

0:00:35 > 0:00:37# Then let's test your brains

0:00:37 > 0:00:40# With Horrible History's Gory Games

0:00:40 > 0:00:42# Horrible history's Gory

0:00:42 > 0:00:44# Games. #

0:00:44 > 0:00:46Hello and welcome to Gory Games.

0:00:46 > 0:00:50- I'm Dave Lamb.- And I'm Rat.i.am. - Rat.i.am?

0:00:50 > 0:00:53Yeah, you're not in the music biz, Dave, you wouldn't understand.

0:00:53 > 0:00:57Great start. Let's meet today's Horrible Historians.

0:00:57 > 0:01:00Hi. My name is Edward and I'm from Buckingham.

0:01:02 > 0:01:04Hi. I'm Inaaya and I'm from Essex.

0:01:06 > 0:01:08Hi. I'm Jasmine and I'm from Yorkshire.

0:01:12 > 0:01:16Welcome, everyone. Right, you lot are here to win Year Spheres.

0:01:16 > 0:01:19The person with the highest year score at the end of the show

0:01:19 > 0:01:23will win a terrible prize yanked out of the time sewer by Rattus Rattus.

0:01:23 > 0:01:26And by terrible, Dave means brilliant.

0:01:26 > 0:01:28I know what I mean.

0:01:28 > 0:01:30Time to crack on with round one.

0:01:30 > 0:01:33Let's find out what it's about by going over to the Gory Grid.

0:01:34 > 0:01:37It's the Awesome USA.

0:01:37 > 0:01:41So four questions then on the Awesome USA.

0:01:41 > 0:01:44The person who gets the most right wins the first Year Sphere

0:01:44 > 0:01:47and your four Awesome USA topics are:

0:01:47 > 0:01:50Space Travel, Dr Seuss,

0:01:50 > 0:01:52Presidents and Fails.

0:01:52 > 0:01:56So Jasmine, you get to go first in this first round.

0:01:56 > 0:01:58- Which of those takes your fancy? - Fails.

0:01:58 > 0:02:03OK, dudes, in 1876 Big Jim Kennally from Chicago

0:02:03 > 0:02:06failed in an attempt to do what?

0:02:06 > 0:02:08A. Steal President Lincoln's dead body.

0:02:08 > 0:02:11B. Blow up the Statue of Liberty.

0:02:11 > 0:02:13C. Make the world's largest pizza.

0:02:13 > 0:02:15Show me your answers now.

0:02:15 > 0:02:18- What's the answer please? - The answer is A.

0:02:19 > 0:02:22Big Jim Kennally wanted to steal Lincoln's body

0:02:22 > 0:02:25and hold it hostage for 200,000,

0:02:25 > 0:02:27but got busted by the Secret Service.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29Righteous man.

0:02:29 > 0:02:30I think the moral of this story is

0:02:30 > 0:02:33don't try and ransom the dead body of a president.

0:02:33 > 0:02:35Dave, what's a moral?

0:02:35 > 0:02:38If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you.

0:02:38 > 0:02:41Great start, Jasmine and Edward. Excellent work.

0:02:41 > 0:02:44- Edward, it's your turn to pick. - Can I have Presidents, please?

0:02:44 > 0:02:50Gabriel Green was a presidential candidate between 1960 and 1972.

0:02:50 > 0:02:53But who did he say told him to run for president?

0:02:53 > 0:02:55A. A tree.

0:02:55 > 0:02:57B. His mum.

0:02:57 > 0:02:58C. An alien.

0:02:58 > 0:03:01Show me now. What's the answer, please?

0:03:01 > 0:03:03The answer is C.

0:03:03 > 0:03:07Gabriel Green claimed he decided to run for president

0:03:07 > 0:03:09because an alien told him to.

0:03:09 > 0:03:12Far out. What planet was he on?!

0:03:12 > 0:03:16I mean the president, not the alien.

0:03:16 > 0:03:19Thanks for clearing that up. So no points there.

0:03:19 > 0:03:22- Inaaya, your turn to pick. - Can I please have Space Travel?

0:03:22 > 0:03:25Unfortunately, that's a question from Rattus Rattus.

0:03:25 > 0:03:32In 1961 the second man into space was American Alan Shepard Junior.

0:03:32 > 0:03:35His launch was delayed for such a long time

0:03:35 > 0:03:39that he had to do what in his space suit?

0:03:39 > 0:03:41A. A poo.

0:03:41 > 0:03:43B. Go for a wee.

0:03:43 > 0:03:46C. Pass wind.

0:03:46 > 0:03:48Let's see your answers, please.

0:03:48 > 0:03:50Let's find out who's right.

0:03:50 > 0:03:52The answer is B.

0:03:52 > 0:03:55His launch was delayed so long

0:03:55 > 0:03:57he had to go for a wee in his space suit.

0:03:57 > 0:04:01At least he didn't pass wind. Imagine that inside the space suit.

0:04:01 > 0:04:03Oh, yeah. Heaven!

0:04:03 > 0:04:05Not quite what I meant.

0:04:05 > 0:04:08But Jasmine and Edward, more points for you there.

0:04:08 > 0:04:11That just leaves us with one topic and it's Dr Seuss.

0:04:11 > 0:04:14When famous children's author Dr Seuss

0:04:14 > 0:04:16suffered from writer's block, would he,

0:04:16 > 0:04:20A. Go into a cupboard full of hats.

0:04:20 > 0:04:22B. Swim in a giant goldfish bowl.

0:04:22 > 0:04:25C. Eat green eggs and ham.

0:04:25 > 0:04:27Let's see those answers now.

0:04:27 > 0:04:28What's the answer?

0:04:28 > 0:04:30The answer is A.

0:04:30 > 0:04:34He would go into a cupboard full of hats,

0:04:34 > 0:04:38try them on and not come out until he could continue to write.

0:04:38 > 0:04:40Dig it, man.

0:04:40 > 0:04:43Excellent work. That's a point apiece for Jasmine and Inaaya

0:04:43 > 0:04:46and that means at the end of the first quiz round,

0:04:46 > 0:04:48Jasmine, you have won the first Year Sphere,

0:04:48 > 0:04:51which means that it's time for me to say,

0:04:51 > 0:04:57All hail the Potty Pyramid.

0:04:59 > 0:05:01And make sure you choose a good one.

0:05:01 > 0:05:04Yes, because AD dates will be added to your total.

0:05:04 > 0:05:07And of course BC dates will be subtracted from it.

0:05:07 > 0:05:10We'll find out what's in that later on.

0:05:10 > 0:05:14Now, winning the Awesome USA quiz means that Jasmine

0:05:14 > 0:05:17is automatically through to play the Awesome USA game.

0:05:17 > 0:05:20But will she be alone or will the others get to play too?

0:05:20 > 0:05:22Let's find out.

0:05:24 > 0:05:26It's a single player game.

0:05:26 > 0:05:30So, Jasmine, off down the Time Sewer on your own please.

0:05:31 > 0:05:33- See you, Dave.- See you.

0:05:36 > 0:05:391899 America. The Wild Bunch.

0:05:39 > 0:05:43A deadly gang of robbers are enjoying a boom time.

0:05:43 > 0:05:46Yes, it's time to play...

0:05:46 > 0:05:48Calamity Train.

0:05:48 > 0:05:51First, get the carriage door open to reveal three safes.

0:05:51 > 0:05:53Then connect the right cable

0:05:53 > 0:05:55and find out which one contains the cash,

0:05:55 > 0:05:57with the help of some dynamite.

0:05:57 > 0:06:00Grab as many dollars as you can before the time runs out.

0:06:00 > 0:06:0350,000 gets you a Year Sphere.

0:06:03 > 0:06:06In three, two, one, bang!

0:06:06 > 0:06:09Time then for Jasmine to rob a train.

0:06:09 > 0:06:11First, she needs to unbolt the door to the carriage.

0:06:11 > 0:06:13This is not as easy as it looks, by the way,

0:06:13 > 0:06:15when you're up against the clock.

0:06:15 > 0:06:17Yes, she's doing nicely with it though.

0:06:17 > 0:06:20Almost there and she has done it. She's in.

0:06:20 > 0:06:22Now the tricky business of finding the correct length of fuse

0:06:22 > 0:06:25to connect the detonator to the safe.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31- No. That's not it.- She'll have to try the others, Rattus.

0:06:31 > 0:06:33Did you know that when they actually robbed the train

0:06:33 > 0:06:36the leader of the gang, Butch Cassidy, wasn't even there.

0:06:36 > 0:06:39- He must have misread the timetable! - Good one, Rattus!

0:06:39 > 0:06:41Now, is that the correct fuse? No. It isn't.

0:06:41 > 0:06:45But it does mean that this must be the one. Here we go now.

0:06:45 > 0:06:47She's getting it right in there.

0:06:47 > 0:06:51- It's coming back to the plunger, Rattus.- In the plunger.- Here we go.

0:06:51 > 0:06:54- Boom! Where's the money? - Where is the money?

0:06:54 > 0:06:57Well, she's bagged a few rogue dollars there

0:06:57 > 0:07:00but it's not the huge stash of cash that she needs to win the game,

0:07:00 > 0:07:03so she's going to have to try the other safes.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06She is sensibly moving the fuse now. Look at that.

0:07:06 > 0:07:09- Here we go again, Rattus.- Plunge.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11- Boom!- Look at that!

0:07:11 > 0:07:15I'm no expert but I think Jasmine has used way too much dynamite.

0:07:15 > 0:07:18Just like the Wild Bunch did in the real robbery.

0:07:18 > 0:07:20And she is having a field day out there.

0:07:20 > 0:07:22She's got loads of cash, look at the cashometer.

0:07:22 > 0:07:26Look at the rattlesnake. He doesn't like being woken up, does he?

0:07:26 > 0:07:29No, sir. No, indeed. She's got plenty of money...

0:07:29 > 0:07:31Hang on, what is she doing here, Rattus?

0:07:31 > 0:07:36She's blown the third safe just for kicks. This is crazy behaviour!

0:07:36 > 0:07:40I've never seen anything like that. She's still gathering cans.

0:07:40 > 0:07:44She's already done it. It's like she's done it before. Maybe she has.

0:07:44 > 0:07:46My favourite part of the game was the big explosion.

0:07:46 > 0:07:49My hobby is robbing trains.

0:07:49 > 0:07:52145,000.

0:07:52 > 0:07:55Not that you need one, but help yourself to another Year Sphere.

0:07:55 > 0:07:58Well played, Jasmine. Very well played indeed.

0:07:58 > 0:08:02- Where have you been, Rattus? - Rat.i.am, please.- Whatever.

0:08:02 > 0:08:04I've been down the Time Sewer

0:08:04 > 0:08:06putting the finishing touches to my music video.

0:08:06 > 0:08:10You are not a pop star. I mean, a plop star maybe!

0:08:10 > 0:08:13Take a look at this.

0:08:14 > 0:08:16# Do your sewer slide

0:08:16 > 0:08:19# Hey lovely lady

0:08:19 > 0:08:21# Poo, poo, poo, poo, pooey

0:08:21 > 0:08:23# Rodent style

0:08:23 > 0:08:26# Do the sewer slide

0:08:26 > 0:08:29# Poo, poo, poo, poo, pooey

0:08:29 > 0:08:30# Rodent style. #

0:08:30 > 0:08:32So what do you reckon, Dave?

0:08:33 > 0:08:35It really, really stinks.

0:08:35 > 0:08:38Compliments will get you everywhere.

0:08:39 > 0:08:41On to round two

0:08:41 > 0:08:43and to find out what's up next it's over to the Gory Grid.

0:08:46 > 0:08:49It's the Awful Egyptians.

0:08:49 > 0:08:52And here are your all-important Awful Egyptian topics.

0:08:52 > 0:08:57Cures, Army, Ramesses and Funerals.

0:08:57 > 0:09:01So, Edward, it's your turn to pick first this time. What will you have?

0:09:01 > 0:09:03Can I have funerals?

0:09:03 > 0:09:05True or false, in ancient Egypt

0:09:05 > 0:09:09women could be hired as professional mourners at funerals?

0:09:09 > 0:09:12Is that true or is that false? Let's have a look.

0:09:12 > 0:09:14- What's the answer please?- It's true.

0:09:14 > 0:09:17If you didn't have enough friends and family,

0:09:17 > 0:09:21you could hire professional mourners to give you a big wailing send-off.

0:09:21 > 0:09:22SHE WAILS

0:09:24 > 0:09:27That will be 20 pieces of silver.

0:09:27 > 0:09:29Give us a fiver, Rattus, and I'll sob when you're scoffed

0:09:29 > 0:09:30by a Doberman.

0:09:30 > 0:09:34I'm joking. I'm joking. It's going to cost you a tenner.

0:09:34 > 0:09:38- No, come here. I'm only kidding. - Get off me.- It's all right.

0:09:38 > 0:09:40Oh, no, Doberman!

0:09:40 > 0:09:42Argh! Argh! Where?! Where?!

0:09:44 > 0:09:47For heavens sake, have you just weed yourself?

0:09:47 > 0:09:50Serves you right. Rodent style, yeah.

0:09:52 > 0:09:57That's points there for Edward and Inaaya. All still to play for.

0:09:57 > 0:10:01- Inaaya? - Can I please have Army?

0:10:01 > 0:10:06True or false, you could join the Egyptian army at nine years old?

0:10:06 > 0:10:10Is that true or is that false? Let's have a look. What's the answer?

0:10:10 > 0:10:13It's false. Joining the Army at the age of nine?

0:10:13 > 0:10:16Please! We were more civilised than that.

0:10:16 > 0:10:17You had to be 10.

0:10:19 > 0:10:21So not far out with nine but just far enough.

0:10:21 > 0:10:24Well done, Jasmine. Your turn now to pick a topic.

0:10:24 > 0:10:28- Could I have Cures please? - And that is a prop question.

0:10:28 > 0:10:31- Prop question.- Prop question. - Prop question.

0:10:31 > 0:10:33A slap on the head with a dead fish

0:10:33 > 0:10:37was an ancient Egyptian cure for a migraine.

0:10:37 > 0:10:39Is that true or is that false?

0:10:39 > 0:10:42I can tell you it is true.

0:10:42 > 0:10:46Congratulations, Edward. You go into the lead.

0:10:46 > 0:10:50- Now then...- Ouch! You've given me a headache.

0:10:50 > 0:10:52I can make that better.

0:10:52 > 0:10:54Oh, you've cured me.

0:10:54 > 0:10:57That is the most fun I've ever had on this show. Terrific.

0:10:57 > 0:11:02One category left and that category is Ramesses.

0:11:02 > 0:11:07True or false, Ramesses had over 200 wives.

0:11:07 > 0:11:10Is that true or is that false?

0:11:10 > 0:11:11It's true.

0:11:11 > 0:11:15I should know, I'm his wife number 203.

0:11:15 > 0:11:17Which makes me feel so special.

0:11:17 > 0:11:19I'm sure it does.

0:11:19 > 0:11:22Inaaya grabs a point at the end there,

0:11:22 > 0:11:25which means that we are in a tie-breaker situation.

0:11:25 > 0:11:27Beginning with the letter B,

0:11:27 > 0:11:30which organ was removed by sticking a hook...

0:11:30 > 0:11:32- Edward?- Brain.- Absolutely right.

0:11:32 > 0:11:35Beginning with the letter B, which organ was removed by sticking

0:11:35 > 0:11:38a hook up the nose in the mummification process.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40It was the brain. Congratulations, Edward.

0:11:40 > 0:11:42Help yourself to a Year Sphere.

0:11:45 > 0:11:48There we go. We'll find out what's in there later on.

0:11:48 > 0:11:51OK. Edward's through to play the Egyptian game

0:11:51 > 0:11:54but will it be just him or will the others get to play too?

0:11:54 > 0:11:55Let's find out.

0:11:57 > 0:11:59It's an All Play game,

0:11:59 > 0:12:02so that means it's down the Time Sewer with the lot of you.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04- Adios.- Adios, Inaaya.

0:12:06 > 0:12:10Time to 'work' like an Egyptian as we play...

0:12:10 > 0:12:12Pyramid Puzzle.

0:12:12 > 0:12:16In 2,500 BC the Great Pyramid was constructed

0:12:16 > 0:12:20out of an amazing 2.3 million limestone blocks.

0:12:20 > 0:12:23But our lucky contestants only have 11 polystyrene ones.

0:12:23 > 0:12:27First to complete their pyramid wins a Year Sphere.

0:12:27 > 0:12:30Three, two, one, build!

0:12:30 > 0:12:33And off they go. So, we've mixed things up here, Rattus.

0:12:33 > 0:12:35They need to find their stones from the pile

0:12:35 > 0:12:37before they can build their pyramids.

0:12:37 > 0:12:41- Ho-ho! And they've released a mummy. - Ooh, mummy alert! Mummy alert!

0:12:41 > 0:12:44I was not expecting that, and neither were you, Rattus,

0:12:44 > 0:12:46by the look of that puddle on the floor.

0:12:46 > 0:12:49- Oh, no, Dave, that was there before. It's how I like it.- Of course it is.

0:12:49 > 0:12:51Silly of me to forget that momentarily.

0:12:51 > 0:12:53These mummies really are putting them off.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55Inaaya there, particularly distracted

0:12:55 > 0:12:58- for my money.- That is their job.

0:12:58 > 0:13:01No, that's true. That is very true. Did you know, Rattus,

0:13:01 > 0:13:05the stones for the actual Pyramids came from 500 miles away?

0:13:05 > 0:13:06Not next-day delivery, I'm guessing.

0:13:06 > 0:13:09Ooh, imagine the cost of the post and the packaging.

0:13:09 > 0:13:11Astronomical, Rattus!

0:13:11 > 0:13:14Now, Jasmine has her first piece in place, but look at Edward.

0:13:14 > 0:13:17He's moved on to his second layer there.

0:13:17 > 0:13:20This is interesting. I think he's taking a slight lead.

0:13:20 > 0:13:24Inaaya looks as if she's in a slight state of disarray,

0:13:24 > 0:13:27as Edward continues his relentless march

0:13:27 > 0:13:30towards construction completion. Builders always say they're going

0:13:30 > 0:13:32- to be finished before they are, don't they?- And they never turn up

0:13:32 > 0:13:34when they say they're going to turn up, either.

0:13:34 > 0:13:36And they're always going for tea breaks.

0:13:36 > 0:13:39But enough about builders! Never mind about them.

0:13:39 > 0:13:41Look at that. That tessellates perfectly.

0:13:41 > 0:13:42We're liking that.

0:13:42 > 0:13:45Yeah, I have to say, Jasmine is still very much in this.

0:13:45 > 0:13:49Jasmine is in this because that bottom layer is nearly complete.

0:13:49 > 0:13:52Inaaya just slightly off the pace, it has to be said.

0:13:52 > 0:13:54But Edward is nearly there.

0:13:54 > 0:13:58For my money, Rattus, he's doing extremely well now.

0:13:58 > 0:14:00That's really beginning to look like a pyramid, isn't it?

0:14:00 > 0:14:01It certainly is,

0:14:01 > 0:14:04but it's the points and the slopes that make it really tricky.

0:14:04 > 0:14:09Yeah, it is, but all he has to do is deliver the point. This is it.

0:14:09 > 0:14:11This is the end of the game, Rattus. He's done it.

0:14:11 > 0:14:15Edward has built it. He wins. Any thoughts?

0:14:15 > 0:14:18The mummies quite surprised me because...

0:14:18 > 0:14:20- Hello. - MUMMY GROANS

0:14:20 > 0:14:24..because when they jumped out, you probably wouldn't expect it.

0:14:24 > 0:14:27Terrific effort, everybody. Terrific effort.

0:14:27 > 0:14:30Well played, Edward. Help yourself to another Year Sphere.

0:14:32 > 0:14:36Excellent stuff. What's in there? We'll find out later.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38Ooh, Dave, Rodent Style's gone viral.

0:14:38 > 0:14:41Everything goes viral when you're around.

0:14:41 > 0:14:45- Either that or bacterial. - It's bigger than Despacito.

0:14:45 > 0:14:50People love it! Look around you. Everyone's doing the Sewer Slide.

0:14:50 > 0:14:52DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

0:14:52 > 0:14:55# Do the Sewer Slide

0:14:55 > 0:14:58# Poo, poo, poo, poo-ee!

0:14:58 > 0:14:59# Rodent style! #

0:14:59 > 0:15:03- Can you do the Sewer Slide, Dave? - DAVE CHUCKLES

0:15:03 > 0:15:06# Do the Sewer Slide

0:15:06 > 0:15:09# Poo, poo, poo, poo-ee!

0:15:09 > 0:15:10# Rodent style. #

0:15:12 > 0:15:15- You could have just said no. - Yeah, I should perhaps have said no.

0:15:15 > 0:15:16Right, round three.

0:15:16 > 0:15:18Over to the Gory Grid to find out what's up next.

0:15:20 > 0:15:23It's the Measly Middle Ages.

0:15:23 > 0:15:25Four questions, as always,

0:15:25 > 0:15:28and here are your four Middle Ages topics...

0:15:34 > 0:15:37So, Inaaya, it's your turn to pick first this time.

0:15:37 > 0:15:39- What would you want? - Can I please have Gold?

0:15:39 > 0:15:42In the Middle Ages, people believed they could make gold

0:15:42 > 0:15:44from mixing which two substances?

0:15:52 > 0:15:54Show me now, please.

0:15:54 > 0:15:55Ooh, a complete spread!

0:15:55 > 0:15:57What's the answer, please?

0:15:57 > 0:15:58The answer is B.

0:15:58 > 0:16:01We believed you could make gold from eggs and horse poo, of course!

0:16:01 > 0:16:03- HE SCOFFS - Figs and cat wee!

0:16:03 > 0:16:05That would never work!

0:16:05 > 0:16:08It's true. Italian alchemist Bernard of Treviso

0:16:08 > 0:16:11spent eight years hard-boiling chicken eggs,

0:16:11 > 0:16:14mixing them with horse dung and leaving them to rot

0:16:14 > 0:16:17until he had a disgusting-smelling mixture of chicken eggs and poo.

0:16:17 > 0:16:21Which is obviously far better than gold.

0:16:22 > 0:16:23To some folk.

0:16:23 > 0:16:26Congratulations, Edward. A point to you.

0:16:26 > 0:16:28Jasmine, it's your turn to pick.

0:16:28 > 0:16:30Please could I have Knights?

0:16:30 > 0:16:33How long was the training to become a knight?

0:16:39 > 0:16:41Show me now, please.

0:16:41 > 0:16:42What is the answer, please?

0:16:42 > 0:16:44The answer is B.

0:16:44 > 0:16:47- Yes!- A knight trained for 14 years.

0:16:47 > 0:16:51He was first a pageboy at seven, then a squire at 14,

0:16:51 > 0:16:54then a knight at 21.

0:16:54 > 0:16:56Then a corpse at 28.

0:16:56 > 0:16:58Yeah, most probably that's true, Rattus.

0:16:58 > 0:17:00Well played, Inaaya. A point for you there.

0:17:00 > 0:17:02Edward, it's your turn to pick a topic.

0:17:02 > 0:17:04Can I have Leeches, please?

0:17:04 > 0:17:06- That is a prop question. - Oh, it's a prop question.

0:17:06 > 0:17:09- BOTH:- Prop question! Prop question! Prop question!

0:17:09 > 0:17:12Leeches were popular for Middle Ages medicine,

0:17:12 > 0:17:15but how did a leech collector collect them?

0:17:15 > 0:17:18Was it A, with a net, B, by standing in a marsh,

0:17:18 > 0:17:21or C, with a jar of blood?

0:17:21 > 0:17:23Show me your answers, please.

0:17:23 > 0:17:25I can tell you, the answer is...

0:17:26 > 0:17:29- ..B.- Oh!- Well done, Edward.

0:17:29 > 0:17:30Each collector stood in marshes

0:17:30 > 0:17:33and waited for the little bloodsuckers to bite their legs.

0:17:33 > 0:17:35Well played, Edward.

0:17:35 > 0:17:39Oh, Rattus. Oh, Rattus, please tell me you haven't eaten them.

0:17:39 > 0:17:41HE BURPS

0:17:43 > 0:17:44Excuse me.

0:17:44 > 0:17:46Rodent style.

0:17:46 > 0:17:51Final question in this round is on Anglo-Saxons, and here it comes.

0:17:51 > 0:17:54Which famous manuscript that chronicled the history

0:17:54 > 0:17:57of the Anglo-Saxons was begun in 891?

0:17:57 > 0:17:59The Anglo-Saxon what?

0:18:05 > 0:18:07Show me your answers, please.

0:18:07 > 0:18:08What's the answer, please?

0:18:08 > 0:18:10The answer is A.

0:18:11 > 0:18:15The Anglo-Saxon Chronicle. It's a great read.

0:18:15 > 0:18:18Or so I'm told. Us peasants can't read.

0:18:18 > 0:18:20Probably best just to look at the pictures.

0:18:20 > 0:18:22Well done, Edward. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:18:22 > 0:18:25Another point for you means that you have secured yourself

0:18:25 > 0:18:27another Year Sphere. Collect away.

0:18:33 > 0:18:36OK, Edward is the winner of the Middle Ages quiz,

0:18:36 > 0:18:38so he goes through to play the Middle Ages game.

0:18:38 > 0:18:41But will he be on his own or will everyone get to join him?

0:18:41 > 0:18:42Let's find out.

0:18:46 > 0:18:47Oh, it's a single-player game.

0:18:47 > 0:18:52- So, Edward, off down the Time Sewer on your own.- Goodbye!- Goodbye.

0:18:55 > 0:18:59Imagine a piano, but instead of musical notes,

0:18:59 > 0:19:01each key triggers a different pig squeal.

0:19:01 > 0:19:05Sounds deranged, eh? That's cos it is. Time to play...

0:19:08 > 0:19:10Can you believe King Louis XI

0:19:10 > 0:19:12actually had one of these crazy instruments?

0:19:12 > 0:19:15All you need to do is listen and repeat a sequence of piggy squeals.

0:19:15 > 0:19:18They'll get one longer each time.

0:19:18 > 0:19:22If you can repeat nine squeals, you'll win a Year Sphere.

0:19:22 > 0:19:26Three, two, one... HORN BLARES

0:19:26 > 0:19:28So, here we go with the first piggy sequence.

0:19:28 > 0:19:31PIGS SQUEAL

0:19:31 > 0:19:36Edward? PIGS SQUEAL

0:19:36 > 0:19:38Yes, he's off to a flying start there.

0:19:38 > 0:19:42So now the sequence, Rattus, gets one note longer each time.

0:19:44 > 0:19:46He steps up to play again. I tell you what, you don't see this

0:19:46 > 0:19:49- on Young Musician of the Year, do you?- Which is a shame.

0:19:49 > 0:19:51It is a shame in many ways.

0:19:51 > 0:19:54Yes, he's safely through that. Six squeaks coming up.

0:19:54 > 0:19:57Six lovely squeaks.

0:19:57 > 0:20:00No pigs are injured in the playing of this piano.

0:20:00 > 0:20:02Just want to make that absolutely clear.

0:20:02 > 0:20:04PIGS SQUEAL

0:20:04 > 0:20:06Ever played any animal instruments, Rattus?

0:20:06 > 0:20:09- Er, the porcupine quill. - Lovely. Excellent.

0:20:09 > 0:20:11He's done it again. That means we're going to...

0:20:11 > 0:20:14Oh, nasty guff there. Nasty guff from the end pig.

0:20:14 > 0:20:16All designed to put him off, Rattus.

0:20:16 > 0:20:20- Shameful, really. - But it hasn't put Edward off at all.

0:20:20 > 0:20:22- He's cracking on there. - Is he going to get through this one?

0:20:22 > 0:20:23Let's have a look.

0:20:23 > 0:20:28PIGS SQUEAL

0:20:28 > 0:20:31Yes, he's done it. I tell you what, he hasn't hit a bum note yet,

0:20:31 > 0:20:32has he? DAVE CHUCKLES

0:20:32 > 0:20:34A bum note, Rattus! RATTUS LAUGHS

0:20:34 > 0:20:36Oh, well done, me. Terrific.

0:20:36 > 0:20:39He's... I like the way he moves his hand, Rattus.

0:20:39 > 0:20:41Do you see that? It's like he's counting,

0:20:41 > 0:20:45almost trying to influence the pigs with his mind rays.

0:20:45 > 0:20:47There's a glorious smell of bacon during this game,

0:20:47 > 0:20:49- isn't there, Dave? - Oh, there certainly is.

0:20:49 > 0:20:52I mean, that really is the best thing about it, actually.

0:20:52 > 0:20:55He's a virtuoso, this lad. This is the final sequence.

0:20:55 > 0:20:57He's done well up to now,

0:20:57 > 0:21:02but this nine-squealer is very problematic indeed.

0:21:02 > 0:21:04Here we go. He's on the way.

0:21:04 > 0:21:07- Edward is a focused lad. - He certainly is.

0:21:07 > 0:21:09He's only got about four squeaks left!

0:21:10 > 0:21:13He's going to do it, I think, Rattus!

0:21:13 > 0:21:15- He's there!- Splendid.

0:21:15 > 0:21:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE He's avoided being pooed on,

0:21:17 > 0:21:19and that's always good.

0:21:19 > 0:21:22When I was younger, I was at a farm with my childminder,

0:21:22 > 0:21:25and I leaned over the fence to have a look at the pig

0:21:25 > 0:21:27and it pooed on my shoe.

0:21:27 > 0:21:30Well done, Edward. Tremendous memory skills.

0:21:30 > 0:21:34Help yourself. By all means, help yourself.

0:21:34 > 0:21:36There we go. Lovely.

0:21:36 > 0:21:39Still one chance to win a Year Sphere, and this is it.

0:21:39 > 0:21:40It's the final round.

0:21:40 > 0:21:43Over to the Gory Grid to find out what we've got.

0:21:45 > 0:21:47It's the Rotten Romans.

0:21:47 > 0:21:49So, no quiz this round.

0:21:49 > 0:21:52Straight down the Time Sewer with the lot of you.

0:21:53 > 0:21:55- A-bye-bye, Dave!- A-bye-bye!

0:21:55 > 0:21:58Eugh, it smells like dog poo!

0:21:58 > 0:22:01So, it's time for what I can safely say

0:22:01 > 0:22:03is Rattus's favourite game.

0:22:03 > 0:22:05Whoohoo!

0:22:08 > 0:22:09What's stercus, Rattus?

0:22:09 > 0:22:12- It's Latin for poop, of course. - Of course it is.

0:22:12 > 0:22:15And your job is to collect the stercus from the cesspit,

0:22:15 > 0:22:19carry it along your lane, and slop it into your measuring cylinder.

0:22:19 > 0:22:22The most proficient stercus farmer gets the Year Sphere.

0:22:22 > 0:22:26- In three...- Number two.- Number ones!

0:22:26 > 0:22:28HORN BLARES

0:22:28 > 0:22:30So, our farmers leap into action,

0:22:30 > 0:22:33everyone furiously gathering their first sack of stercus.

0:22:33 > 0:22:35Oh, those poo troughs remind me -

0:22:35 > 0:22:37it's been ages since I've been swimming.

0:22:37 > 0:22:39Oh, that's horrible, Rattus.

0:22:39 > 0:22:42Well, everyone's dropping a load of stercus here.

0:22:42 > 0:22:45Oh, what have those Romans been eating, I wonder.

0:22:45 > 0:22:47- Quite literally everything, Dave.- Yeah.

0:22:47 > 0:22:50You have to say, Rattus, these three are going really, really fast.

0:22:50 > 0:22:52It's very impressive so far.

0:22:52 > 0:22:54And I'm always surprised at how enthused they are

0:22:54 > 0:22:57- to get their hands in the poop. - Yeah, well, you know,

0:22:57 > 0:23:00I would have thought you'd have understood that, Rattus.

0:23:00 > 0:23:03You of all people. Inaaya's got a slight edge here, I think.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06She's well underway here, isn't she?

0:23:06 > 0:23:08But Edward and Jasmine are hot on her heels.

0:23:08 > 0:23:11There's no doubt about it, this is going to be tight.

0:23:11 > 0:23:13- Nice leap there from Edward. - Yeah, very much so.

0:23:13 > 0:23:16What do you think of those buckets, Rattus?

0:23:16 > 0:23:19Well, they're not necessarily the best way to carry poop around.

0:23:19 > 0:23:23One of the best ways to carry poop is actually on your fur.

0:23:23 > 0:23:26Yeah, keep your distance, please, fella. Keep your distance.

0:23:26 > 0:23:28Look at this. It's going very well

0:23:28 > 0:23:30for all. I'm impressed. CLOCK CHIMES

0:23:30 > 0:23:33- Now, that means there's 30 seconds left.- Ooh!- Oh!

0:23:33 > 0:23:35Ho-ho-ho! Jasmine's down.

0:23:35 > 0:23:37There is now stercus

0:23:37 > 0:23:40everywhere, and you have to wonder whether Jasmine

0:23:40 > 0:23:42will make it down that lane again.

0:23:42 > 0:23:43But Inaaya - look at this!

0:23:43 > 0:23:45Well, she's defying the slip.

0:23:45 > 0:23:47She's skirted the stercus.

0:23:47 > 0:23:48She's skirted the stercus

0:23:48 > 0:23:51and she's managed to get another delivery and...

0:23:51 > 0:23:53- Edward's down!- Oh, he's all over the shop!

0:23:53 > 0:23:56I think Inaaya could be onto something good here

0:23:56 > 0:23:59because while the others flounder in the dirt,

0:23:59 > 0:24:01she is farming the stercus.

0:24:01 > 0:24:03ALARM BLARES And there's the final one.

0:24:03 > 0:24:04- It's all over.- She's done it.

0:24:04 > 0:24:07Inaaya's farmed her way to first place,

0:24:07 > 0:24:09and doesn't she look pleased about it?

0:24:09 > 0:24:11The poo dropped on the left side,

0:24:11 > 0:24:15and I went across to the right side, so I managed to skip the poo.

0:24:15 > 0:24:18Skip the poo - words to live by.

0:24:18 > 0:24:21Ah, well done, everyone. Welcome back.

0:24:21 > 0:24:25Help yourself to a Year Sphere, Inaaya. Congratulations.

0:24:25 > 0:24:27Excellent work.

0:24:27 > 0:24:30Now, it is time to count up those Year Spheres.

0:24:30 > 0:24:33And, remember, AD dates are added to your total,

0:24:33 > 0:24:38and BC dates are subtracted from it. Here we go. Jasmine, let's

0:24:38 > 0:24:40open up that first one, please.

0:24:41 > 0:24:451553 AD.

0:24:45 > 0:24:47Roman Catholicism was restored in England

0:24:47 > 0:24:49by Queen Mary I that year.

0:24:49 > 0:24:50This could be crucial,

0:24:50 > 0:24:51particularly for Inaaya.

0:24:51 > 0:24:53Let's have a look at that second one.

0:24:53 > 0:24:56Oh, it's a BC, Inaaya!

0:24:56 > 0:24:57So, that keeps you in the game.

0:24:57 > 0:25:00It's 509 BC.

0:25:00 > 0:25:03Tarquinius Superbus, the last king of Rome,

0:25:03 > 0:25:06was run out of the city that year.

0:25:06 > 0:25:08Extraordinary. So, you're in the positive. That's good.

0:25:08 > 0:25:11But you're not clear. Edward, let's have a look

0:25:11 > 0:25:13at your first one.

0:25:14 > 0:25:17Oh, my word!

0:25:17 > 0:25:21170,000 BC!

0:25:21 > 0:25:23All that hard work -

0:25:23 > 0:25:25it's disappeared.

0:25:25 > 0:25:29Humans first started wearing clothes round about then.

0:25:29 > 0:25:32I mean, thank goodness they did, but it's cold consolation.

0:25:32 > 0:25:34Let's have a look at that second Sphere.

0:25:35 > 0:25:38That is 1596 AD.

0:25:38 > 0:25:40Pocahontas was born that year.

0:25:40 > 0:25:42Let's have a look at the third one there.

0:25:42 > 0:25:451542. You're on a roll now.

0:25:45 > 0:25:471542 AD. Mary, Queen of Scots

0:25:47 > 0:25:49was born that year.

0:25:49 > 0:25:51And what about that final one?

0:25:52 > 0:25:55Well, again, another good one. 1613 AD.

0:25:55 > 0:25:57The thatch roof at Shakespeare's

0:25:57 > 0:26:01Globe Theatre caught fire that year.

0:26:01 > 0:26:03Now then, Inaaya,

0:26:03 > 0:26:06you suddenly find yourself very close to winning this.

0:26:06 > 0:26:09You have to beat Jasmine's score of 1,044.

0:26:09 > 0:26:11Let's have a look

0:26:11 > 0:26:12what's inside there.

0:26:13 > 0:26:16- It's 1509 AD.- Yes!

0:26:16 > 0:26:18Henry VIII ascended

0:26:18 > 0:26:20to the English throne

0:26:20 > 0:26:22that year.

0:26:22 > 0:26:25And that means that, with that 1509 -

0:26:25 > 0:26:31- 1,509 points - Inaaya, you are today's champion.- Yeah!

0:26:31 > 0:26:34She's well pleased. RATTUS LAUGHS

0:26:34 > 0:26:38She's made-up. That's excellent. What a comeback.

0:26:38 > 0:26:39So, come on, Rat.i.am,

0:26:39 > 0:26:42what terrible prize have you dredged up for us this week?

0:26:42 > 0:26:45Oh, no, Dave. This week, I'm handing over something

0:26:45 > 0:26:48which is truly special, which I was given

0:26:48 > 0:26:52for the amazing number of downloads of my single, Rodent Style.

0:26:52 > 0:26:55- Actually, that does sound pretty good.- It's a brown disc.

0:26:55 > 0:26:59- A BROWN disc? Shouldn't that be a gold disc?- No.

0:27:00 > 0:27:02It's a cowpat, isn't it?

0:27:02 > 0:27:04- Yes.- Yep.

0:27:04 > 0:27:07- Heaven's sake! Here you go, Inaaya.- Thank you.

0:27:07 > 0:27:08That'll look good on the wall, I suppose.

0:27:08 > 0:27:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Maybe look even better in a field

0:27:10 > 0:27:12full of cows, however.

0:27:12 > 0:27:16- Ew!- And as for our runners-up, well, it's time for them to...

0:27:16 > 0:27:18DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

0:27:18 > 0:27:22# Do the Sewer Slide

0:27:22 > 0:27:24# Poo, poo, poo, poo-ee! #

0:27:24 > 0:27:25Off you trot.

0:27:25 > 0:27:29- Cheerio. Well played. Well played. Well played.- Bye-bye!- Bye, Dave.

0:27:29 > 0:27:32- Bye!- See you! - # Hey, lovely lady

0:27:32 > 0:27:35# Poo, poo, poo, poo-ee!

0:27:35 > 0:27:36# Rodent style

0:27:36 > 0:27:39# Do the Sewer Slide... #

0:27:39 > 0:27:41- Oh, this is sick. - # Poo, poo, poo

0:27:41 > 0:27:43# Poo-ee! Rodent style! #

0:27:43 > 0:27:45- He's been Rattus Rattus. - Rattus, I was.

0:27:45 > 0:27:47You've been watching Gory Games.

0:27:47 > 0:27:48- BOTH:- Goodbye!

0:27:48 > 0:27:50# Poo, poo, poo-ee! Rodent style! #