0:00:02 > 0:00:05# Gorgeous Georgians Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians
0:00:05 > 0:00:06# Ferocious fights Daring knights
0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Horrors that defy description Cutthroat Celts
0:00:09 > 0:00:12# Vicious Vikings Punishment from ancient times
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# Roman rotten, rank and ruthless
0:00:15 > 0:00:18# Groovy Greeks Mean and measly Middle Ages
0:00:18 > 0:00:20# Gory stories - we do that
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# And your host - a talking rat
0:00:23 > 0:00:26# The past is no longer a mystery
0:00:26 > 0:00:32# Welcome to Horrible Histories. #
0:00:37 > 0:00:43In Saxon Britain lots of men lived as monks. We had some very strict rules.
0:00:43 > 0:00:47For instance, we weren't allowed to speak during meals,
0:00:47 > 0:00:49so we developed our own sign language.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09Brothers, brothers, I have urgent new...
0:01:24 > 0:01:27The gorillas are making clay pots.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35Ooh, uh, the gorillas are ringing the bells.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59- The Vikings are attacking. - Yes! Yes!
0:02:00 > 0:02:02By Odin's thunder!
0:02:14 > 0:02:17Ooh, are the gorillas ringing the bells?
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Arrrgh!
0:02:22 > 0:02:28Hello, I'm Brother Alfred and this is my new assistant, Brother Timothy.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Today we're going to teach you how to write like a monk.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37Now you'll need something to write on,
0:02:37 > 0:02:40so first take one cute little fluffy lamb...
0:02:40 > 0:02:42BLEATING
0:02:42 > 0:02:44..and cut its throat.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54Remember, always ask your parents' permission
0:02:54 > 0:02:57before you brutally slaughter a pet lamb.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Now you'll need a pen.
0:03:01 > 0:03:06Brother Timothy, go and fetch a goose feather.
0:03:06 > 0:03:11Remember, always ask the goose's permission before plucking a feather.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Next, you need to cut off the skin from the lamb
0:03:18 > 0:03:21and stretch it over a wooden frame.
0:03:26 > 0:03:30To make your pen, you simply trim off the feathers with a sharp knife,
0:03:30 > 0:03:35square off the end, make a slit up the shaft and there, perfect.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41So now you have a pen, something to write on.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Now, you just need some ink
0:03:43 > 0:03:47and for that we're going to need some wasp's eggs.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52HE GRUMBLES
0:03:52 > 0:03:57You'll also need some vinegar, some gum for thickening...
0:03:57 > 0:03:59and some copper water for colour.
0:03:59 > 0:04:00SCREAMING AND BUZZING
0:04:03 > 0:04:06Take the wasp's eggs and mix them all together.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10And now...
0:04:10 > 0:04:14we're ready for some fancy monk writing.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Mmm...yeah. Oh.
0:04:18 > 0:04:19Oh, drat.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22We're going to have to do that all over again.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Viewers may like to know that all the names in the following sketch
0:04:32 > 0:04:34are genuine Victorian names.
0:04:34 > 0:04:35Good day.
0:04:40 > 0:04:41Right, settle down.
0:04:43 > 0:04:47Mr Butler isn't here today, so I'll be taking the register.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Uh, now I don't know any of you,
0:04:49 > 0:04:52so be sure to call out when you hear your name.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Raspberry Lemon,
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Lettuce Burger.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Bovril.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01I'm sorry, I think I must have picked up a shopping list.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03No, Miss, those are children's names.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06They're not answering cos they're sick.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Bovril and Raspberry?
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Honestly, Christian names have got really weird
0:05:10 > 0:05:12since Victoria became Queen.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Well, OK, on with the register.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17- On my way, Miss. - Sit down, what are you talking about?
0:05:17 > 0:05:20You said, "OK, on with the register."
0:05:20 > 0:05:23I'm OK, OK Johnson.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Well, OK, uh,
0:05:25 > 0:05:28unless I give permission, never get out of your seat.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30- Yes, miss.- Why are you standing up?
0:05:30 > 0:05:34You said, "Never get out of your seat," I'm Never, Never Rookrook.
0:05:34 > 0:05:38Has nobody got an ordinary name in this classroom? Yes?
0:05:38 > 0:05:40- Toilet.- All right, be quick.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42No, that's my name.
0:05:42 > 0:05:46I think that's quite a normal name. My sister's called Baboon.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Toilet and Baboon?
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Your parents must be evil.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52No, that's Evil over there.
0:05:54 > 0:05:55Yes?
0:05:55 > 0:05:57I've got an ordinary name, Miss, it's Susan.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Ah, that's more like it.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Susan Semolina Thrower.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05Right, let's just try and get through this, shall we?
0:06:05 > 0:06:08I'll say your names, you say here
0:06:08 > 0:06:11and uh, I'll try not to say your names accidentally. Happy?
0:06:11 > 0:06:14- Yes, Miss? - Don't tell me your name's Happy?
0:06:16 > 0:06:19Right, register, here we go.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21- Freezer Breezer. - Here, Miss.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23- Princess Cheese. - Here, Miss.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25- Minty Badger. - Here, Miss.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Scary Looker...
0:06:27 > 0:06:30No, I'm sorry, why would anybody call their child Scary Looker?
0:06:32 > 0:06:33Forget I asked.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35Now...
0:06:35 > 0:06:37I am...
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Miss...
0:06:39 > 0:06:42Farting...
0:06:42 > 0:06:43Clack.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49Good morning Miss Farting Clack.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51CHILDREN GIGGLE
0:06:51 > 0:06:55Oh, hello there. Yes, those really were all real Victorian names.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59Minty Badger and Princess Cheese.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03Eh, it makes what celebrities call their children nowadays
0:07:03 > 0:07:04almost normal.
0:07:04 > 0:07:05Yeah, right!
0:07:06 > 0:07:09Our Queen, Victoria, had something of a weight problem.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12She was advised to do more walking but she refused.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15Victoria simply hated taking exercise.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Do you want a body like Queen Victoria's?
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Do you want to be wider than you are tall?
0:07:22 > 0:07:27Then you need help, or The Queen Victoria workout.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31It's not easy staying in shape when you're a busy royal, so I don't.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Let me show you how.
0:07:33 > 0:07:38And sit, and rule. And sit and rule.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Wait for it.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42And rule some more.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46That's right, sit and rule, like Queen Victoria did for 63 years.
0:07:46 > 0:07:50Now, let's exercise those arms.
0:07:50 > 0:07:54And recreate Queen Victoria's mourning for her husband Albert.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57Don't forget to wear black.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59And...
0:07:59 > 0:08:03Mourn. And mourn. That's it.
0:08:03 > 0:08:07Keep going for the next 40 years.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11OK, time to try some dips.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Watch out, Ma'am, he's an assassin.
0:08:13 > 0:08:14And dip.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17And dip again.
0:08:17 > 0:08:18Yes, dip like Queen Vic.
0:08:18 > 0:08:22She survived seven attempts to assassinate her.
0:08:22 > 0:08:26Phew, some real exercise.
0:08:26 > 0:08:30Now I'm exhausted and hungry.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32The Queen Victoria workout,
0:08:32 > 0:08:35learn the secrets of how the Queen stays out of shape.
0:08:35 > 0:08:39Yes, you too can have a body that only looks good in a black sack.
0:08:46 > 0:08:50We Romans had some horrible ways of entertaining ourselves,
0:08:50 > 0:08:55like watching gladiators fight against wild animals.
0:08:55 > 0:08:56People of Rome,
0:08:56 > 0:09:01welcome to the final day of Emperor Titus's 100 days of games.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04To mark the opening of the mighty Coliseum,
0:09:04 > 0:09:09we've seen gladiators take on lions, tigers, buffalo, rhino,
0:09:09 > 0:09:10even crocodiles.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13What will they bring you today?
0:09:13 > 0:09:16Oh, just as long as it's not tigers, I hate tigers.
0:09:16 > 0:09:17Release the beasts.
0:09:17 > 0:09:18CHEERING
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Well, um, we've got a bit of a problem with today's show.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29We, we've run out of animals.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32- What?- Well, after 100 days of entertainment,
0:09:32 > 0:09:33they have all been slaughtered.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35We've literally run out.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37- So no lions?- No.- Tigers?- No.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Thank gods.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42We have found half a bear, but it's not much good at fighting.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45Elephants? Leopards? Hippos?
0:09:45 > 0:09:49No. Rome has plundered the whole of North Africa for wild animals
0:09:49 > 0:09:51and you gladiators have killed them all.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53There are none left.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55What's going on down there?
0:09:55 > 0:09:58Nothing. Won't be a second.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01Listen, the crowd are baying for blood.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05We've got to find an animal to slaughter, otherwise we're dead men.
0:10:05 > 0:10:10- We'll have to fight one another. - Well, there is one, I suppose.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24CHEERING
0:10:24 > 0:10:25A gerbil?
0:10:32 > 0:10:34That's 100% accu-rat.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36Well, except that little bit about the gerbil,
0:10:36 > 0:10:37which is just a bit silly.
0:10:37 > 0:10:41But the Romans really did run out of animals for their games.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44In fact, they took so many lions from North Africa,
0:10:44 > 0:10:47that there are no lions in North Africa to this day.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50That's right, the rat knows all. Aha!
0:10:50 > 0:10:54One performance in the Roman arena featured elephants
0:10:54 > 0:10:56doing what with their trunks?
0:10:56 > 0:10:57Was it:
0:11:04 > 0:11:06The answer is...
0:11:06 > 0:11:07B.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10The elephants traced Latin words in the sand with their trunks.
0:11:13 > 0:11:17Of course, we Romans didn't just use animals for entertainment,
0:11:17 > 0:11:23we also used them to execute people, in some very strange ways.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26Get your animals for execution here.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29All the animals you need for traditional Roman executions
0:11:29 > 0:11:31under one roof.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Yes, sir?
0:11:33 > 0:11:36Yeah, hi, um, I'd like to buy 5,000 wasps.
0:11:36 > 0:11:40Ooh, we've had a bit of a run on wasps, very low on stock.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43Oh, dear. Um, do you have any other winged insect
0:11:43 > 0:11:46that can sting a man to death who's covered in honey?
0:11:46 > 0:11:52Not really. A bee could do it on a good day, but there's no guarantee.
0:11:52 > 0:11:53I've got this criminal
0:11:53 > 0:11:56and I'm supposed to get him stung to death by wasps.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59Well, have you considered sticking him in a sack
0:11:59 > 0:12:01with a wild dog and a lobster?
0:12:01 > 0:12:03The thing is we've already covered him in honey.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05Oh, yes, I see your point.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Well, I do have a delivery of wasps coming in on Tuesday,
0:12:08 > 0:12:09if that's any good to ya.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12No, I really need him killed this side of the weekend.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14In which case, I think, honey or no honey,
0:12:14 > 0:12:17your best bet is gonna be a dog and a lobster.
0:12:17 > 0:12:18Do you think it would do the job?
0:12:18 > 0:12:21Yeah, you'd usually tie up the sack and chuck it in a river,
0:12:21 > 0:12:22just to be sure.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25- Seems a bit cruel to the dog. - But the lobster loves it.
0:12:25 > 0:12:29And we're giving away a free sack with every dog-lobster combo,
0:12:29 > 0:12:30this week only.
0:12:30 > 0:12:34I dunno, the boss was quite specific about the whole wasp thing.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38I'll do you a good deal and uh, that's not the only combo, nah, no,
0:12:38 > 0:12:40dog and lobster's the most popular one,
0:12:40 > 0:12:43but I can do ya pig and octopus,
0:12:43 > 0:12:49badger and prawns, monkey with a stingray, camel and a goldfish.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52I wouldn't recommend camel and a goldfish, you need a massive sack
0:12:52 > 0:12:54and they don't do a good job.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56Mmm. D'you know what, thinking about it,
0:12:56 > 0:12:59I might just hit him over the head with a shovel.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02- Yeah, that's probably best. - Thanks, anyway.- All right.
0:13:02 > 0:13:03Right, come on you.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08- Yes, mate? - I'd like to make a complaint.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14HE LAUGHS
0:13:14 > 0:13:17OK, some of those weren't real execution methods,
0:13:17 > 0:13:20but they did sting people to death with wasps,
0:13:20 > 0:13:23and the Roman punishment for killing your father
0:13:23 > 0:13:26really was being tied up in a sack with an angry dog...
0:13:26 > 0:13:28and a lobster... and thrown into the river.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31Cor, what a way to go, eh?
0:13:31 > 0:13:34Heh. Nippy, but clean.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Time again for our fairytale series,
0:13:41 > 0:13:45where the stories are retold in different historical settings.
0:13:45 > 0:13:49Today, The Ugly Duckling - the Middle Ages Version.
0:13:49 > 0:13:55And the Ugly Duckling was very sad because he was so very ugly.
0:13:55 > 0:14:00But then, one day, the Ugly Duckling looked at his reflection
0:14:00 > 0:14:04and found that he had grown into a beautiful swan.
0:14:04 > 0:14:09"Oh, happy day, I'm not ugly any more!" said the swan.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12Ha ha ha ha, you certainly aren't.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15Said the King, who happened to be passing that day.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18You're a beautiful swan.
0:14:18 > 0:14:23And the beautiful swan was very happy, until the King added...
0:14:23 > 0:14:27And you'll make an even more beautiful pie.
0:14:27 > 0:14:31Yes, the King killed the swan and ate him,
0:14:31 > 0:14:35because this was the Middle Ages and swan pie was a bit of a treat
0:14:35 > 0:14:37for posh people in those days,
0:14:37 > 0:14:42and so the Ugly Duckling would've been better off staying ugly.
0:14:42 > 0:14:43The end.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46Did you know that in the late 1400s,
0:14:46 > 0:14:48King Henry VII passed a law
0:14:48 > 0:14:51saying that only royals could kill and eat swans?
0:14:51 > 0:14:55To this very day, the Queen owns all the swans in Britain,
0:14:55 > 0:14:57except for the ones in Orkney,
0:14:57 > 0:15:02where an old Viking law still states that they belong to everyone.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05Hmm, not just a pretty face, me, eh?
0:15:05 > 0:15:09And if you think eating roast swan is weird, wait till you find out
0:15:09 > 0:15:13what one posh bloke served up for his Middle Ages dinner party.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17Almost there.
0:15:17 > 0:15:22I tell you, if I ever have to look at another napkin again,
0:15:22 > 0:15:24or another swan for that matter...
0:15:24 > 0:15:28- Eh, look lively, here comes the boss. - His Lordship, the Earl of Warwick.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Right, I wish to see the Chief Cook
0:15:31 > 0:15:33or whichever peasant stinks the least.
0:15:33 > 0:15:34My Lord?
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Mmm, tolerable.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40I would ask your name, but I don't care.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42No, I simply came down here
0:15:42 > 0:15:45to check on the preparations for tonight's banquet.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48It's not every day I get the chance to celebrate
0:15:48 > 0:15:50- my brother being made Archbishop. - No, my Lord.
0:15:50 > 0:15:55Which is why I've laid 60 cooks at your disposal, to create a feast,
0:15:55 > 0:15:58the likes of which the world has never seen.
0:15:58 > 0:16:02- Yes, my Lord.- After all, I need to set a good example.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05HE BURPS
0:16:05 > 0:16:08As requested, we've lovingly prepared 104 juicy oxen.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Marvellous. I love a bit of nice, lean beef, don't you cook?
0:16:11 > 0:16:13I wouldn't know, sir,
0:16:13 > 0:16:15us peasants can't afford such pleasures.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19Well, if you'll insist on being poor. And what else?
0:16:19 > 0:16:22Um, 1,000 sizzling swine.
0:16:22 > 0:16:251,000? Oh, better make it two, be on the safe side.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Uh, an extra thousand swine, right you are, my Lord.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30Then we've 1,000 sheep, 13 desserts.
0:16:30 > 0:16:3113?!
0:16:31 > 0:16:35Oh, well, excuse me, 13,000 desserts.
0:16:35 > 0:16:36Mmm.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39- And uh, the vegetables? - None at all, sir.
0:16:39 > 0:16:43Excellent. I don't want my guests thinking I eat like a peasant.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46Oh, no, sir, carrots and the like are for scum like me, sir.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Yes, they are. Hmm-mmm.
0:16:48 > 0:16:53All right, go about your business, you grubby little commoner.
0:16:53 > 0:16:54Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56Right, we need 1,000 extra swine.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58NO-O-O-O!
0:17:00 > 0:17:04Cancel the swans, I've changed my mind.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Make 'em into the shape of crowns.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Yes... Little crowns.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19SHE SOBS
0:17:19 > 0:17:22That's exactly what the Earl of Warwick served up to his guests
0:17:22 > 0:17:24when his brother became Archbishop.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27That's 100% accu-rat.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Ha. Personally, I'm happy with the odd dead pigeon.
0:17:30 > 0:17:31HE GASPS
0:17:31 > 0:17:32Darn rats.
0:17:32 > 0:17:36Which of these table manners was considered acceptable
0:17:36 > 0:17:38in the Middle Ages?
0:17:38 > 0:17:39Was it:
0:17:46 > 0:17:48The answer is...
0:17:48 > 0:17:53C. You could burp at the table, but not into people's faces.
0:17:58 > 0:18:03And now it's time to meet those ever- so-clever chaps, the brainy Greeks.
0:18:03 > 0:18:07Good evening, I'm Aristotle, ancient Greek philosopher.
0:18:07 > 0:18:11And I'm Archimedes, inventor, physicist, mathematician, engineer.
0:18:11 > 0:18:12And big head.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14THEY LAUGH
0:19:20 > 0:19:22And now, from Ancient Greece,
0:19:22 > 0:19:26another brilliant invention, the First Play Ever.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30Greetings other person in this play.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33Greetings yourself.
0:19:33 > 0:19:34CHEERING
0:19:34 > 0:19:39'Two men stand still onstage and talk to each other for four hours.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41'Yes, four hours!
0:19:41 > 0:19:45'With no action.
0:19:45 > 0:19:50'No costumes, and no interval.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54'The First Play Ever, by Aeschylus.
0:19:54 > 0:19:58'In Greek amphitheatres in 474 BC.
0:19:58 > 0:20:02'I know it looks boring, but there's literally nothing else on.'
0:20:02 > 0:20:05HE SNORES
0:20:05 > 0:20:10Mmm, sorry. Hmm. Up to that point, going to the theatre
0:20:10 > 0:20:12meant watching one man drivelling on for hours.
0:20:12 > 0:20:17Two men drivelling on for hours was a major breakthrough.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19HE SNORES
0:20:19 > 0:20:21That's right, and from then on
0:20:21 > 0:20:25Greek plays were either tragedies or comedies,
0:20:25 > 0:20:29which is funny because the way their inventor died was a bit of both.
0:20:32 > 0:20:33# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
0:20:33 > 0:20:36# They're funny cos they're true
0:20:36 > 0:20:39# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
0:20:39 > 0:20:41# Hope next time it's not you. #
0:20:41 > 0:20:42Ooh.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Next.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47Ah, at last.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49- Name?- Aeschylus.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Oh, year of death?
0:20:51 > 0:20:54458 BC.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57- Profession?- Greek playwright.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59I'll just put la-di-dah writer. Hmm.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02Method of death?
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Well, I was walking along, minding my own business.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08There was an eagle flying high in the sky above me,
0:21:08 > 0:21:11it had caught a tortoise and was looking for a rock to drop it upon.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Eh?
0:21:13 > 0:21:16You know, to crack it open so it could eat it.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18Oh, I see, and?
0:21:18 > 0:21:21It saw my bald head shining in the sun.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23And mistook it for a rock?
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Yes. Splat.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27I was killed instantly.
0:21:27 > 0:21:31HE LAUGHS
0:21:31 > 0:21:33What, stone dead?
0:21:33 > 0:21:35HE LAUGHS
0:21:37 > 0:21:39You're dead funny.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43- And what happened to the tortoise? - Oh, it was fine.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46TURTLEY fine?
0:21:46 > 0:21:48HE LAUGHS
0:21:48 > 0:21:50- Turtley fine.- Very funny.
0:21:50 > 0:21:51It was a tortoise.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53- It still works. - No, it doesn't.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56Turtley fine - tortoise.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58It works. Get out.
0:21:58 > 0:21:59HE LAUGHS
0:21:59 > 0:22:03Did you hear my joke? It was very funny. Next.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
0:22:05 > 0:22:08# Hope next time it's not you. #
0:23:11 > 0:23:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:23:19 > 0:23:22In World War II, lots of children were sent to the countryside
0:23:22 > 0:23:24to be safe from bombs,
0:23:24 > 0:23:29and to find a family to take them in, they needed to look their best.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39It's no good, dear, too late. All that's left are the dregs.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41Don't be mean. These poor little urchins
0:23:41 > 0:23:45have come from the city to escape Hitler's bombs.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48They've left their mothers and fathers behind,
0:23:48 > 0:23:51they need care, compassion and a roof over their heads.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53They need a good wash.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55I mean, look at this little fellow.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58Hello there, have you got a name?
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Got fleas.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03Urgh. Maybe you're right, dear,
0:24:03 > 0:24:06perhaps we should come back tomorrow.
0:24:06 > 0:24:07Mmm.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11Oh, why, thank you.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13Oh, Harold, look, she's perfect.
0:24:13 > 0:24:17We'll take this one, please. Come on.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22At last, I've been standing there for BLEEP ages.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24Let's go BLEEP home.
0:24:24 > 0:24:25I'm BLEEP starving.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28On second thoughts, we'll take the fleabag.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37And life wasn't any easier for the children in Germany.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Are you a German boy aged 10 to 14?
0:24:42 > 0:24:45Vant to learn how to tie knots,
0:24:45 > 0:24:49pitch a tent und sing songs around ze campfire?
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Vant to learn how to march?
0:24:52 > 0:24:53Fight und die in battle?
0:24:53 > 0:24:54Eh?
0:24:55 > 0:24:58So join the Hitler Youth today
0:24:58 > 0:25:02and be taught to despise anyone who isn't German.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04Everyone is signing up.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Don't miss out, you must join today.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09No, really, you MUST join.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11It's compulsory.
0:25:11 > 0:25:15Join up and get our Hitler Youth special offer.
0:25:15 > 0:25:19Report your parents for listening to enemy radio today
0:25:19 > 0:25:24and we promise to have them locked up for years.
0:25:24 > 0:25:28Plus, get three posters of your favourite German celebrities.
0:25:28 > 0:25:32There's me, und there's me und there iz also me.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34Yes, join the Hitler Youth,
0:25:34 > 0:25:37and if you're lucky we'll run so short of troops
0:25:37 > 0:25:41we'll send you off to fight und get killed for the Fatherland.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44But I'm only 10.
0:25:44 > 0:25:47Talk to the hand coz the face ain't listening.
0:25:47 > 0:25:54The Hitler Youth, it is just like the Scouts, only evil.
0:25:55 > 0:25:59When the Allies stormed into Berlin at the end of World War II,
0:25:59 > 0:26:03most of the German soldiers they found were children or teenagers.
0:26:03 > 0:26:07They were forced to defend their capital or be shot for cowardice,
0:26:07 > 0:26:11and one anti-aircraft gun was manned entirely by teenage girls.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14It's horrible, but it's true.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16True or false?
0:26:16 > 0:26:20Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian and hated to see creatures suffer?
0:26:22 > 0:26:23It's...
0:26:23 > 0:26:24true.
0:26:24 > 0:26:25Amongst other things...
0:26:29 > 0:26:33When he knew he'd lost the war, Adolf Hitler, the Nazi leader,
0:26:33 > 0:26:35killed himself in his Berlin bunker.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40Hitler was dead, or was he?
0:26:40 > 0:26:46Well, obviously he was, but many believed Hitler had survived.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49After the war, there were hundreds of stories circulating
0:26:49 > 0:26:51about him being alive and...
0:26:51 > 0:26:55Well, here are the top three strangest Hitler rumours.
0:26:56 > 0:27:01Number three, he was living as a shepherd in Switzerland.
0:27:01 > 0:27:05All right, men, will you follow me?
0:27:05 > 0:27:08SHEEP BLEAT
0:27:08 > 0:27:13Goot. Right, I'm off to teach a goose how to march the goosestep.
0:27:14 > 0:27:19Number two, he was working as a fisherman in Ireland.
0:27:20 > 0:27:21Are you coming, Sean?
0:27:21 > 0:27:24I'll be with you in a second, Patrick, begorra.
0:27:24 > 0:27:27I just need to trim the old moustache.
0:27:30 > 0:27:34And number one, he was living in an underground hideout in Sweden,
0:27:34 > 0:27:38with enough tinned food to last for years.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41Unfortunately for me, it's all baked beans.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43HE BREAKS WIND
0:27:43 > 0:27:47Urgh, phewph, I wish I WAS dead.
0:27:47 > 0:27:50# Tall tales, atrocious acts We gave you all the fearsome facts
0:27:50 > 0:27:52# No glitz We showed you all the juicy bits
0:27:52 > 0:27:57# Gory, ghastly, mean and cruel Stuff they don't teach you at school
0:27:57 > 0:28:00# The past is no longer a mystery
0:28:00 > 0:28:03# Hope you enjoyed Horrible Histories. #
0:28:03 > 0:28:06E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk