0:00:02 > 0:00:03# Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians
0:00:03 > 0:00:04# Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians
0:00:04 > 0:00:07# Woeful wars, ferocious fights Dingy castles, daring knights,
0:00:07 > 0:00:09# Horrors that defy description Cut-throat Celts, Awful Egyptians,
0:00:09 > 0:00:12# Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes, Punishments from ancient times,
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# Romans rotten, rank and ruthless Cavemen savage, fierce and toothless
0:00:15 > 0:00:18# Groovy Greeks, brainy sages Mean and measly Middle Ages
0:00:18 > 0:00:20# Gory stories we do that
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# And your host a talking rat
0:00:23 > 0:00:26# The past is no longer a mystery
0:00:26 > 0:00:30# Welcome to Horrible Histories. #
0:00:36 > 0:00:38The famous King, William the Conqueror
0:00:38 > 0:00:41died after falling off his horse
0:00:41 > 0:00:43and his son, William II, lost his life
0:00:43 > 0:00:46under very suspicious circumstances.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00- Ah!- Good shot, Your Majesty.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02I missed, you idiot.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Only because that cowardly deer refused to stay still.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Good point. Lord General, call that one a hit.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Of course. You're on form today, Your Majesty,
0:01:10 > 0:01:14that's the third cowardly animal you've heroically almost hit.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17- Well, what can I say? I'm a natural. - Perhaps the rest of us
0:01:17 > 0:01:20- would fare a little better if we split up.- Yes, good idea.
0:01:20 > 0:01:24Lord General, finest archer in England, you're with me.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27The rest of you, do what you like. Come along, General.
0:01:27 > 0:01:28Coming.
0:01:31 > 0:01:32Oh!
0:01:32 > 0:01:36- Did you hear that? It sounded like the King being shot.- No.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38The King being shot would be more of a...
0:01:38 > 0:01:41"Argh! Argh! Eh!" sound.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44- Argh! Argh! Eh!- Like that.
0:01:46 > 0:01:51- Oh, no!- Oh, no!- Oh, no!- Oh, no!
0:01:51 > 0:01:54I know. I appear to have accidentally shot the King.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56That's bad, isn't it?
0:01:56 > 0:01:57Yes!
0:01:57 > 0:02:00Gentleman, the King is dead.
0:02:00 > 0:02:04This day, each of us must do our duty
0:02:04 > 0:02:07and ensure that His Majesty's earthly remains are attended to
0:02:07 > 0:02:10in a manner befitting his Royal statute.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13- Right, I'm off.- What?
0:02:13 > 0:02:16Well, with the King dead and nobody on the throne,
0:02:16 > 0:02:19there'll be looting and rebellion. I'm off to protect my land.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Actually, I'm going too.
0:02:25 > 0:02:26Do not worry, Your Majesty.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29Those selfish fools may have abandoned you,
0:02:29 > 0:02:34but a true friend would never leave such a brave and noble...
0:02:34 > 0:02:37Wait a sec. I've got land to protect too.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Wait for me! Wait for me!
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Stanley?
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Bring in the cart.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52You won't believe what I've found.
0:02:53 > 0:02:57That's right. King William II's body was left rotting in the woods
0:02:57 > 0:03:00until it was found by a peasant, who dragged it back to London
0:03:00 > 0:03:02on an old wooden cart.
0:03:02 > 0:03:03When our Rat King died,
0:03:03 > 0:03:06he was floated down the sewer in a shoebox.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Very moving occasion it was, too.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12Anyhoo, King William II was succeeded by his brother, Henry I,
0:03:12 > 0:03:15and his death could only be described as...
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Well, stupid.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
0:03:21 > 0:03:23# They're funny cos they're true
0:03:23 > 0:03:26# Woo! Stupid deaths, stupid deaths,
0:03:26 > 0:03:29# Hope next time it's not you! Hee-hee!
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Huh!
0:03:31 > 0:03:33Hnngh!
0:03:33 > 0:03:35Grrr!
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Oh, I blinked!
0:03:37 > 0:03:40There's just no beating him in a staring contest.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42How does he do it? How do you...? Oh!
0:03:42 > 0:03:43Next!
0:03:43 > 0:03:47- And your name is? - Henry I, King of England.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49HE BREAKS WIND
0:03:49 > 0:03:53- Oh, sorry.- Well, Henry, you seem to have a little problem.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Anything you'd like to divulge?
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Yes, I'll tell you my story but I'm going to have to be quick.
0:03:58 > 0:04:02- Yes, please.- I was visiting my grandchildren in Normandy
0:04:02 > 0:04:06and I had a lovely meal of my favourite dish, lamprey.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08- Lamprey?- Yes, it's a kind of eel. Well nice.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11Oh, yes. Yes, they are nice. That's... Carry on.
0:04:11 > 0:04:15My doctor had advised me, "Don't eat so many lampreys.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17"They're bad for you." But I just love them so much
0:04:17 > 0:04:19and I scoffed and I scoffed and I scoffed.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Scoff, scoff, scoff.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24And I had so many that I got a real pain in my gut.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27Did the eels make you feel EEL? Ha-ha!
0:04:27 > 0:04:31Do you get it? Eel. Ill, I'm saying ill. Eel...
0:04:31 > 0:04:32Yes, I get it.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34- You didn't laugh so I thought you...- No.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36..hear it. No? OK, carry on.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39Well, my doctor advised me to take a laxative.
0:04:39 > 0:04:43He said it would give me diarrhoea for a day but clear out my bowels.
0:04:43 > 0:04:47- Oh, charming.- Yes, and clear out my bowels, it certainly did.
0:04:47 > 0:04:52I just kept on pooing and pooing and pooing.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54- Yes?- Until I died.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57DEATH LAUGHS
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Hey, you could say you were, DYING to go to the toilet!
0:05:01 > 0:05:05Oh, I'd leave it five minutes. It smells like someone's died in there.
0:05:05 > 0:05:06Oh, they have. You!
0:05:08 > 0:05:11- Can I go now? - I'll just confer with the judges.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Hm? Uh-huh. Yeah.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Hm? Yeah. Oh, I completely agree.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18No, no. I really need to go now.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Well, Henry, congratulations. You're through to the afterlife.
0:05:21 > 0:05:22Thank you. Gangway!
0:05:22 > 0:05:23PARP!
0:05:23 > 0:05:27Poo-ey! You sure one of those wasn't you, hm?
0:05:27 > 0:05:31You? Oh, how could you? Face of an angel.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Huh. Next!
0:05:33 > 0:05:36# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
0:05:36 > 0:05:38# Hope next time it's not yo-o-ou. #
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Hello and welcome to the News at When.
0:05:49 > 0:05:53When? 1789 and the peasants in France have grown tired
0:05:53 > 0:05:56of being poor and hungry, while King Louis XVI
0:05:56 > 0:05:58and his rich friends live in luxury.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01The French Revolution is about to begin.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Let's go over live to Mike Peabody,
0:06:03 > 0:06:06who is outside the Bastille fortress in Paris. Mike.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10Thanks, Sam. You join me right outside the Bastille,
0:06:10 > 0:06:12France's most infamous prison,
0:06:12 > 0:06:16where a large mob of very angry Frenchmen has gathered.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18- We are very angry. - Yeah, I... I just said that.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Two negotiators are being sent inside to arrange
0:06:21 > 0:06:23the release of the King's prisoners.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26We're going to put ze governor on trial for treachery.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29They're going to put the governor on trial for treachery.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31- I know, I just said that. - All right!
0:06:31 > 0:06:34let's see if we can follow them inside.
0:06:34 > 0:06:35They're in. Let's go.
0:06:37 > 0:06:38Vive la Revolution!
0:06:38 > 0:06:42What he said. Are you the governor of this prison?
0:06:42 > 0:06:43Er, no.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46That right there, is the Marquis Bernard De Launay,
0:06:46 > 0:06:49- the governor of this prison. - Thanks, mate, thank you(!)
0:06:49 > 0:06:52- Oh, I'm sorry. - No, thank you. Thanks very much(!)
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Yes, I am ze governor of the prison.
0:06:54 > 0:06:58We are here on behalf of all our revolutionary brothers
0:06:58 > 0:07:02who starve in the streets, while you aristocrats live in luxury.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05We demand the release of all prisoners and...
0:07:07 > 0:07:10Are those, um, pain au chocolat?
0:07:10 > 0:07:13Oui, would you like one?
0:07:13 > 0:07:17I wouldn't mind. Zey look very nice. Might have a little one.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Unbelievable! We demand the release
0:07:19 > 0:07:21of all of our revolutionary brothers and sisters
0:07:21 > 0:07:24who starve in this... Is that a crayfish?
0:07:24 > 0:07:28Er, it's lobster stuffed with caviar.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30- Please.- Hoh-hoh!
0:07:30 > 0:07:33There we have it. In an extraordinary turn of events,
0:07:33 > 0:07:36the negotiators, far from putting the governor on trial,
0:07:36 > 0:07:39have instead decided to sit down for a meal with him.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42little bit far away from their principles, I'd suggest.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46There you are! You took so long, we thought you'd been captured,
0:07:46 > 0:07:48so we stormed the Bastille.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50No, I am fine.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53Fine like these fine, fine cheeses.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55- Oh!- Have you tried the governor?
0:07:55 > 0:07:59- No, but we have tried the veal. Oh!- Mm!
0:07:59 > 0:08:02Honestly, if you want a job done properly, do it yourself.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04Vive la revolution!
0:08:04 > 0:08:06GOVERNOR SCREAMS
0:08:06 > 0:08:08So, there we have it. Thanks in part to a long lunch,
0:08:08 > 0:08:10the Bastille has been stormed.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13The common people of France have risen up to declare war on the rich.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16Louis the XVI, I'd watch your neck if I were you.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24We Saxons had some very strict laws
0:08:24 > 0:08:28and the laws covering marriages were most unusual.
0:08:28 > 0:08:33Saxon Films presents the story of a love that would last forever.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36But in a Saxon world ravaged by war...
0:08:36 > 0:08:39- Ah!- Oh!
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Nothing is forever.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44That was a new helmet!
0:08:44 > 0:08:47And I'm quite annoyed about you kidnapping my wife as well!
0:08:48 > 0:08:52In a dark age, there was no distance a Saxon would not travel
0:08:52 > 0:08:57to find his kidnapped wife and fight to get her back.
0:08:59 > 0:09:00All right?
0:09:00 > 0:09:03Hi, mate. I've come to buy my wife back, please.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07Or you know, just try and buy her back.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09See? I told you he'd come back for me.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Yeah, I know. About a thousand times.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13- What did you just say?- Nothing.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15I warn you, it'll be a high price.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18So tell me, how much you willing to pay for your wife?
0:09:18 > 0:09:20In a world where life was cheap,
0:09:20 > 0:09:24there was no price a man wouldn't pay for the woman he loved.
0:09:24 > 0:09:25One penny.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27What do you mean, one penny?
0:09:27 > 0:09:29You're right, hang on.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Half a penny.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35You just travelled hundreds of miles to buy her back
0:09:35 > 0:09:38- and you're offering half a penny?- Saxon law, mate.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40I can't marry a new wife until I've at least tried
0:09:40 > 0:09:44to buy the old one back. So I am offering you half a penny.
0:09:44 > 0:09:45Oh, no. Not enough?
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Oh, I am heartbroken(!)
0:09:48 > 0:09:50Bye then, dear. I guess I'll just have to get over it
0:09:50 > 0:09:53with a younger, nicer, less naggy wife. Heh-heh.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55You're not going to let him call me naggy, are you?
0:09:55 > 0:09:59- Well, you are a bit, aren't you? - Just like you to agree with him.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03Sorry, mate. Half a penny, you say?
0:10:03 > 0:10:04Done.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06What?
0:10:06 > 0:10:09In the dark age of the Saxon world,
0:10:09 > 0:10:13a man would pay the ultimate price to get his kidnapped wife back.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16- Half a penny?! - I'm gutted. Why did I bid so high?
0:10:32 > 0:10:35He's right. Friend is another Saxon word.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38Ah!
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Oh, you mean YOU'RE a friend! I get it now.
0:10:45 > 0:10:49They're Saxon words and all.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51And now, from the makers of Kidnapped,
0:10:51 > 0:10:53Kidnapped 2.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55In a dark age of war and fear,
0:10:55 > 0:10:59theirs was a love that would last forever.
0:11:00 > 0:11:01Leofric!
0:11:01 > 0:11:04When her husband was taken, there was no distance too great
0:11:04 > 0:11:07to keep a wife from her lost love.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10All right, new husband. You'll do.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Hang on, what about your husband?
0:11:12 > 0:11:15Saxon law, love. If your husband gets captured,
0:11:15 > 0:11:18- a wife can marry someone else straight away.- Oh, I get it.
0:11:18 > 0:11:19Well, get on with it!
0:11:19 > 0:11:23In a dark age of war and fear, theirs was a love that would last...
0:11:23 > 0:11:25Oi! Come back here!
0:11:25 > 0:11:27For a few seconds.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Yes, that's right. The new head teacher
0:11:36 > 0:11:39wants a minimum of 60 pupils per class.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42I know, it does seem strange but he is from the Tudor age.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45Anyway, I've got to go.
0:11:45 > 0:11:46OK?
0:11:46 > 0:11:47I didn't do anything.
0:11:47 > 0:11:51I'm sorry, Sam. I have no idea why he wants to see you. Come on.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56Yes, double pepperoni, please and plenty of spice.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00I'm very keen on the eastern spices. Yes. Thank you. Bye-bye.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Oh, there he is. The truant!
0:12:02 > 0:12:04- Truant?- Indeed.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07Don't think I didn't see you breezing through the school gates
0:12:07 > 0:12:11at 8.20 this morning. Well? What do you have to say for yourself, boy?
0:12:11 > 0:12:12That's when school starts.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15Not in Tudor school it isn't. School starts at dawn
0:12:15 > 0:12:20and dawn this morning was at 4.30am,
0:12:20 > 0:12:21so where were you?
0:12:21 > 0:12:22At home. In bed.
0:12:22 > 0:12:27Ah! He admits it, does he? Well, then.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30Three strokes of the cane it is.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32- Mr Bullen... - What's that on your head?
0:12:32 > 0:12:34- Nothing.- Precisely!
0:12:34 > 0:12:37Losing a cap. That's worthy of another beating, I'm afraid.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39- Oh, lord.- Blasphemy!
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Well, well. That deserves another beating.
0:12:42 > 0:12:43We have a bad apple here,
0:12:43 > 0:12:46Hang on a minute.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49- What's all this in your bag? - Just school stuff.- Ha!
0:12:49 > 0:12:53How dare you bring these frivolous play things into school.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57- Mr Bullen, those are official school books.- Nonsense!
0:12:57 > 0:13:00All a boy needs to learn is one of these.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02We call it a hornbook.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05It has the alphabet and Lord's Prayer
0:13:05 > 0:13:08on one side and plenty of space to write on t'other.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11But shouldn't we be encouraging them to read books?
0:13:11 > 0:13:13HE LAUGHS
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Are you trying to ruin this child? Upper class parents won't thank you
0:13:16 > 0:13:18for turning him into a bookworm.
0:13:18 > 0:13:22A Tudor gentleman's life is to hunt and hawk. Heh, huh, ha!
0:13:22 > 0:13:24What was that for?
0:13:24 > 0:13:27Oh, it's for your own good, boy. you see, Tudor teachers believe that
0:13:27 > 0:13:30beating pupils helps to keep them warm.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33Now, off you go. Back to your class and be here at dusk
0:13:33 > 0:13:37when school finishes to receive your beating.
0:13:37 > 0:13:38Stay!
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Do you have a dagger about you, boy?
0:13:41 > 0:13:42What? No!
0:13:42 > 0:13:45I thought not. Right, here you go.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47You better borrow mine. Yes, Tudor school boys
0:13:47 > 0:13:49need to carry those at all times
0:13:49 > 0:13:52to keep the nib on their quill pens sharp. Dismissed.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Oh, Margaret.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58Where did we go so wrong?
0:14:01 > 0:14:05Tudors really did use daggers to sharpen the nibs on quill pens,
0:14:05 > 0:14:08That's where we get the word penknife from.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11I bet you're wondering, "How come that rat's so smart?"
0:14:11 > 0:14:14Well, I'll have you know, I went to Oxford University. Hm!
0:14:14 > 0:14:16But only to dig through the bins.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29It's false, they had no summer holiday at all.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33Yep, kids had a pretty tough time of it in the Tudor era.
0:14:36 > 0:14:40Hello, I'm here in Tudor times to learn more
0:14:40 > 0:14:43about Tudor horse racing and who better to tell me about it
0:14:43 > 0:14:47- than the patron of horse racing in England, King Henry VIII.- Hello.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49So tell us about today's racing, Henry?
0:14:49 > 0:14:53Well, actually, I have to inform you that the Pope has demanded
0:14:53 > 0:14:55an end to all horse racing in England.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Oh, dear. So, um... so the racing's off, then?
0:14:58 > 0:14:59Are you kidding?
0:14:59 > 0:15:02There's nothing I like more than winding up the Pope.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04No, we having more horse racing than ever.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06So you're quite a big fan of the sport, then?
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Oh, I can't get enough of it. At the Royal paddocks of Hampton Court,
0:15:09 > 0:15:12I have a stable of 200 horses now,
0:15:12 > 0:15:14from as far afield as Italy and Spain.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17And does your son share your interest in horse racing?
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Oh, good gracious, no. This isn't my son.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21No, chance would be a fine thing.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24Wives keep bearing me girls. No, this is one of my jockeys.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27One of your jockeys? That's a... That's a small child.
0:15:27 > 0:15:31I know. You see, horses go faster the less weight they're carrying
0:15:31 > 0:15:34and there's no smaller jockey than a small child.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36isn't that right, small child?
0:15:36 > 0:15:39But isn't horse racing a bit dangerous for children?
0:15:39 > 0:15:41Yes, it is!
0:15:41 > 0:15:43I get through more jockeys than I do wives.
0:15:43 > 0:15:48Ah, looks like you're on, small child. Off you go.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Yeah, you better win! Well, don't look so shocked.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54Who do you expect to get on the horse, me? Of course, in my day
0:15:54 > 0:15:56I was a fine horseman. Yes.
0:15:56 > 0:16:00Riding, jumping, jousting, hunting. But now of course, its...
0:16:00 > 0:16:04- Pre elevenses snack, sire? - Eenie, meenie, miney, big one.
0:16:06 > 0:16:10Mm. Yeah, nowadays I have to use a hoist to get on a horse.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13- Mm.- They're under starters orders...
0:16:13 > 0:16:14And they're off.
0:16:14 > 0:16:15CHEERING
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Go on, small child, go on!
0:16:17 > 0:16:18SCREAM AND CRASH
0:16:18 > 0:16:20And he's off.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Really, Henry. There should be a law against
0:16:22 > 0:16:24using small children as jockeys.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27Yes, You're right, I suppose. I better ask the King about that.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Hang on a minute. I AM the King.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31No!
0:16:31 > 0:16:34Now, you fancy watching some cock-fighting?
0:16:34 > 0:16:38It's a wonderful Tudor sport. Two cockerels fighting to the death.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41Bagsy I get to eat the loser and the winner. Ha-ha! Come on.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51Invading countries can be really hungry work,
0:16:51 > 0:16:54so we Vikings need lots of food to keep us going.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Hello, food lovers!
0:16:59 > 0:17:00We are the Hairy Vikings.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02Is there any other kind, Si?
0:17:02 > 0:17:05I don't think so, Dave.
0:17:05 > 0:17:09Now today we're going to be cooking a traditional Viking winter stew.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12Now food can be in very short supply in a Scandinavian winter,
0:17:12 > 0:17:16so this recipe is really quite simple.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19Aye, you just get all the veggies and fresh meat you lay your hands on
0:17:19 > 0:17:21and you chucks it in your cauldron.
0:17:21 > 0:17:25And then, if you find more, you just bung that in too.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Oh, now this stew's been on the go for about a month or so
0:17:27 > 0:17:31and the meats been in there longer than he's been growing his beard!
0:17:31 > 0:17:32Mm.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34There's a bit of goose in there. Lovely.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36Mm, there's hare in there.
0:17:36 > 0:17:40- Oh, I must be moulting.- No, I mean hare as in the big rabbits.
0:17:40 > 0:17:41Oh, ha-ha!
0:17:41 > 0:17:43- Tasty, yes.- By the looks of things,
0:17:43 > 0:17:46I think we got a bit of walrus in there as well.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48Oh, I love a bit of walrus.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50- Love a bit of walrus! - love a bit of walrus!
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Now, Dave, what else can we add in there?
0:17:52 > 0:17:54I'll tell you what we got, Si.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57- Here we are, a seagull.- Oh!
0:17:57 > 0:18:01Nice and easy to catch and surprisingly very tasty.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Lovely! What else have we got, Dave?
0:18:04 > 0:18:07Well, that's it. I mean, it's winter, so there's not much around.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Well, that won't keep a couple of hairy Vikings like us going.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12- I mean, I could eat a horse. - So could I.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15No really, I could eat the horse. NEIGHING
0:18:15 > 0:18:18What, you mean like Dobbin? Our Dobbin?
0:18:18 > 0:18:21Well, needs must, Dave. Dobbin's past it and it's winter.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23Into the pot he goes.
0:18:23 > 0:18:26Why don't we put that polar bear in instead?
0:18:26 > 0:18:28- What polar bear?- The one that's got the scent of the stew!
0:18:28 > 0:18:30BEAR GROWLING
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Next we'll be catching and cooking a whale.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35We're going to need a bigger pot.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38It's thought that the shortage of food at home
0:18:38 > 0:18:41forced the Vikings to invade other countries
0:18:41 > 0:18:43and Saxon King Aethelred the Unready
0:18:43 > 0:18:46had real trouble keeping them out of England.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Hm.
0:18:57 > 0:18:58Oh, what's this?
0:18:59 > 0:19:03A business proposition.
0:19:03 > 0:19:06"Dearest friend, I have a legitimate and trustworthy
0:19:06 > 0:19:07"business proposition for you.
0:19:07 > 0:19:11"Please send 22,000 gold coins and in return,
0:19:11 > 0:19:14"we Vikings won't be paying you a visit.
0:19:14 > 0:19:18"Yours very trustworthily, Olaf Tryggvason."
0:19:18 > 0:19:20Better give him a call. PHONE RINGING
0:19:20 > 0:19:24Come on, come on. Tut! Must be out pillaging.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27Ah, Olaf, me old Viking mucker.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Aethelred, my little Saxon chum.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Just got your e-mail.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Yes, an unmissable offer I'm sure you'll agree.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36It's that old Danegeld thing again.
0:19:36 > 0:19:41Just cough up 22,000 gold coins and us Vikings will leave you alone.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43I accept Pay-Up Pal.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Yeah, 22,000...
0:19:45 > 0:19:48Little bit expensive!
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Fair enough, we'll just do it the nasty way. I prefer that anyway.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Do you know London at all? London?
0:19:53 > 0:19:55- YELLING:- Cos I'm going to smash it up!
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Well, don't do that!
0:19:57 > 0:20:00Um, haven't I already paid you Vikings?
0:20:00 > 0:20:01Give me one second, Olaf,
0:20:01 > 0:20:06I'm just... Yes, there it is. 10,000. 991 AD.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10- I've already paid. - I'll do you a deal, 50% off.
0:20:10 > 0:20:11Well, that's something.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Meaning I will cut you in half if you don't pay up!
0:20:14 > 0:20:17OK, OK! I'll wire you the cash now.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20But listen, Olaf. I can't keep paying you
0:20:20 > 0:20:22not to attack England all the time.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25This has to be the last one, all right?
0:20:25 > 0:20:28Absolutely. Viking's honour.
0:20:28 > 0:20:29Thank you.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33There, done. That is the last I'm going to be hearing
0:20:33 > 0:20:35from those Vikings.
0:20:35 > 0:20:39Just check my Norsebook account, see if I've got any messages.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42What?! Another Viking asking for money?
0:20:42 > 0:20:43TELEPHONE RINGING
0:20:43 > 0:20:45- Sweyn!- Hello!
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Yeah, hi.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50What is this gold request on my Norsebook wall?
0:20:50 > 0:20:53I've literally just paid Olaf Tryggvason.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55So what? Have you never heard of the old saying?
0:20:55 > 0:20:58Just because you give a horse cake, doesn't mean to say
0:20:58 > 0:21:01- the goat is no longer hungry. Huh? - No.
0:21:01 > 0:21:05Oh, must just be Danish. Ha-ha! Pay up.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08I'm not paying. I'm not paying you and I don't care.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10There! Showed him.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15Was it 24,000?
0:21:15 > 0:21:19- That's a bargain at twice the price. - Mm-hm.
0:21:19 > 0:21:25- Might just buy some new trousers while I'm online.- Good idea.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Do you think stripy ones or...?
0:21:27 > 0:21:30- No, the brown ones. - Oh, that's digging in a bit now.
0:21:30 > 0:21:34It's true, Aethelred the Unready kept paying the Vikings money,
0:21:34 > 0:21:36known as Danegeld, to go away.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39But they kept coming back and he ended up losing his throne
0:21:39 > 0:21:43to Sweyn, who became England's first-ever Viking King.
0:21:43 > 0:21:49So Aethelred was not so much the Unready as the Unimaginably Stupid.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09The answer is...
0:22:09 > 0:22:11B, The Suffragettes
0:22:11 > 0:22:15and there were almost no lengths they wouldn't go to for their cause.
0:22:15 > 0:22:19Read all about it! Women get the right to vote.
0:22:19 > 0:22:23Get the full story here only with HH News.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26- We are the Suffragettes. - Think you know some fierce girls?
0:22:26 > 0:22:28You ain't heard nothing yet.
0:22:28 > 0:22:32# A lass called Millie Fawcett founder of our cause
0:22:32 > 0:22:35# Started the battle for our rights
0:22:35 > 0:22:39# Argued the government to change the laws
0:22:39 > 0:22:42# Here is how she stated our plight
0:22:42 > 0:22:46# How come girls can't vote for rules that we have to obey
0:22:46 > 0:22:49# When we work and pay taxes too?
0:22:49 > 0:22:53# Parliament's reaction was... Oh, do go away
0:22:53 > 0:22:56# How dare they diss the suffrage crew
0:22:56 > 0:23:00# Suffragettes sing we're gonna do this thing
0:23:00 > 0:23:03# Peaceful protests started in 1903
0:23:03 > 0:23:07# Got no reaction needed drastic action
0:23:07 > 0:23:09# Got a new leader, Emmeline Pankhurst...
0:23:09 > 0:23:11That's me.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17# Burst into parliament shouting votes for women
0:23:17 > 0:23:20# Actions that were shocking and new
0:23:20 > 0:23:24# Chained ourselves to Palace gates tensions were brimming
0:23:24 > 0:23:27# On the WSPU
0:23:27 > 0:23:31# Burned down churches, smashed up shops, attacked MPs
0:23:31 > 0:23:35# The result, we were thrown in jail
0:23:35 > 0:23:38# This made us more determined as you'll come to see
0:23:38 > 0:23:42# Think we'd give up fighting? Hey, fail!
0:23:42 > 0:23:45# Suffragettes sing together we can win
0:23:45 > 0:23:49# In prison we protested and went on hunger strike
0:23:49 > 0:23:52# Men still said no But we just said yo
0:23:52 > 0:23:54# You won't stop us now... #
0:23:54 > 0:23:56Miss Davison, please take the mic.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58# We became more extreme
0:23:58 > 0:23:59# Derby Day June 13
0:23:59 > 0:24:02# In front of the King and Queen committed sacrifice supreme
0:24:02 > 0:24:06# Crept unseen between the teeming crowds watching the race
0:24:06 > 0:24:08# And threw myself under a horse
0:24:08 > 0:24:10# To try and make our case
0:24:10 > 0:24:13# Became a famous martyr How did men react?... #
0:24:13 > 0:24:17We can't give women votes if they're so stupid, they'll do that.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20# Soon our cause was lost when World War came along
0:24:20 > 0:24:24# A suffragette's reaction
0:24:24 > 0:24:27# Was to wave our protests goodbye, farewell, so long,
0:24:27 > 0:24:31# To patriotic action
0:24:31 > 0:24:34# Put down our banners saying give us votes instead
0:24:34 > 0:24:38# Supported the men's fight
0:24:38 > 0:24:41# Worked to help them win the war so guess what they said?... #
0:24:41 > 0:24:45OK, ladies, you were right.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48# Suffragettes sing we've done it ding-ding
0:24:48 > 0:24:52# At last those men see you should treat us the same
0:24:52 > 0:24:55# So all take note now women can vote
0:24:55 > 0:24:58# And it's thanks to those who fought in the suffragette name. #
0:25:03 > 0:25:04# Tall tales, atrocious acts
0:25:04 > 0:25:06# We gave you all the fearsome facts... #
0:25:06 > 0:25:09Psst, can you keep a secret? No, me neither.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11I've found great games in the Time Sewers.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14Want to come and play? Then just go to the CBBC website
0:25:14 > 0:25:17and click on Horrible Histories. See you there.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19# Hope you enjoyed Horrible Histories. #