0:00:02 > 0:00:03# Terrible Tudors, Gorgeous Georgians
0:00:03 > 0:00:05- # Slimy Stuarts, Vile Victorians - Woeful Wars, Ferocious Fights
0:00:05 > 0:00:08- # Dingy Castles, Daring Knights - Horrors that defy description
0:00:08 > 0:00:11- # Cut-throat Celts, Awful Egyptians - Vicious Vikings, Cruel Crime
0:00:11 > 0:00:13- # Punishments from ancient times - Roman, rotten, rank and ruthless
0:00:13 > 0:00:15# Cavemen savage, fierce and toothless
0:00:15 > 0:00:17- # Groovy Greeks, brainy sages, - Mean and Measly Middle Ages
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# Gory Stories, we do that
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# And your host - a talking rat
0:00:23 > 0:00:26# The past is no longer a mystery
0:00:26 > 0:00:32# Welcome to Horrible Histories. #
0:00:39 > 0:00:42Britain on brink of war to end all wars.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46Gentlemen, we face the most difficult decision, most difficult.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48- Oh, dear, sir. - Yes, now tea or coffee?
0:00:48 > 0:00:50You're right, sir, that is difficult.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53- That's not the decision, you fool. - Isn't it, sir?
0:00:53 > 0:00:55No, we face a much more difficult decision than that.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57We are facing a great war.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59- ALL:- War?- Yes, war.
0:00:59 > 0:01:03- Why?- Because an Austrian has been killed by a Serb in Bosnia,
0:01:03 > 0:01:04and that means war.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Oh, yes, I see.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08- Sir?- Yes, Maltravers.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12Why does an Austrian being killed by a Serb in Bosnia mean war, sir?
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Because of Russia.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Why?
0:01:16 > 0:01:20Because Russia supports Serbia and Austria supports Bosnia and so on.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23- I support Arsenal. - Shut up, Blenkinsopp.
0:01:23 > 0:01:27So, an Austrian has been killed by a Serbian in Bosnia which means
0:01:27 > 0:01:31Austria might invade Serbia and then Russia will invade Austria?
0:01:31 > 0:01:34- Correct. Any questions? - Yes, sir.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37- What is it, Maltravers? - How does this involve Britain, sir?
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Well, Maltravers, who would you say is your best friend?
0:01:40 > 0:01:42Oh, Blenkinsopp, sir, he's a spiffing fellow.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45And if I were to punch Blenkinsopp in the nose,
0:01:45 > 0:01:47what do you think you would do?
0:01:47 > 0:01:51- Nobody punches Blenkinsopp and gets away with it.- Exactly, exactly.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54So, if Russia threatens Austria, Austria's best friend
0:01:54 > 0:01:57will offer support, and who is Austria's best friend?
0:01:57 > 0:01:59- Not Blenkinsopp?- Germany.
0:01:59 > 0:02:03Germany is Austria's best friend, Maltravers.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05- BOTH:- # Austria and Germany sitting in a tree
0:02:05 > 0:02:09# K-I-S-S-I-N-G. #
0:02:09 > 0:02:15Yes. So, if Russia were to attack Austria, Germany would attack Russia.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18But that will leave Germany undefended on the other side.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21So, if Germany were to attack Russia,
0:02:21 > 0:02:23she would also have to attack France.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25- France?- Yes, France.
0:02:25 > 0:02:30And if Germany were to attack France, it would leave Belgium threatened.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33And Belgium is our friend.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36So, we would hop in there to defend them.
0:02:36 > 0:02:40So, we've all got to go and fight in a war because of that, sir.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43- Yes, Maltravers. - Well, I might get killed, sir.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47Yes, you might Maltravers, but it would all be for a good cause.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50So, where is Bosnia again?
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Oh!
0:02:52 > 0:02:56It's so complicated my brain hurts!
0:02:56 > 0:02:59But that's why war began in 1914,
0:02:59 > 0:03:02with soldiers going to France and Belgium
0:03:02 > 0:03:05to fight on what was known as the Western Front,
0:03:05 > 0:03:07in trenches like this one,
0:03:07 > 0:03:12which were lovely places to be... but only if you were a rat.
0:03:13 > 0:03:14Eh, up.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Billy boy, welcome to the trenches.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Thanks, Charlie, I'm just going to dump my kit bag in my bedroom,
0:03:19 > 0:03:22- I'm desperate for the toilet. - Of course, go ahead.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25- Where is me bedroom? - Well, you're in it.- You what?
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Only the officers get a separate dug out,
0:03:27 > 0:03:30the rest of us sleep on the floor, in the mud.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32- RAT SQUEAKS - With the rats.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35Oh! Disgusting. Where are the toilets?
0:03:35 > 0:03:39It's over there behind the trenches. Now, rule one, never ever...
0:03:39 > 0:03:42EXPLOSION
0:03:42 > 0:03:44HE COUGHS
0:03:44 > 0:03:48As I was saying, never use the toilets first thing in the morning.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50The Germans know that we tend to go then,
0:03:50 > 0:03:52so they always fire a few shells at the toilet sheds
0:03:52 > 0:03:56and try to catch us with our trousers down, er, so to speak.
0:03:56 > 0:03:57Righto.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00So we tend to use the bucket.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04- You know, I think I'll just hold it in.- Can't say I blame you.
0:04:04 > 0:04:05So then, rule two...
0:04:05 > 0:04:08GUNFIRE
0:04:08 > 0:04:13- Never poke your head up above the trench.- Cor lumme! That were close!
0:04:13 > 0:04:16Here, give us a sip of that brew to calm me nerves.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Rule three, watch out for the water.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Yeah, we put chloride of lime in it to kill the germs.
0:04:21 > 0:04:22Good.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25Yeah, not if you're not used to it, though.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Tends to give you very bad diarrhoea.
0:04:27 > 0:04:31Oh, oh! Gangway!
0:04:31 > 0:04:32Oh!
0:04:32 > 0:04:33EXPLOSION
0:04:33 > 0:04:36HE COUGHS
0:04:36 > 0:04:37I think somebody forgot rule one.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40Right.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42I won't be a minute.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46While our boys are braving it out on the Western Front,
0:04:46 > 0:04:49here are some new rules for those of you left at home.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52We're at war. Now, to make sure we win, the government have come up
0:04:52 > 0:04:54with a few do's and don'ts while the war's on.
0:04:54 > 0:04:55Let me take you through them.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Oi! What on Earth are you doing?
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Don't fly a kite. Flying a kite is now illegal.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08It could attract a German Zeppelin which could come and bomb you dead.
0:05:08 > 0:05:09HE SOBS
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Oh, nice one(!) Good job, thanks a bunch(!)
0:05:14 > 0:05:15Stop!
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Oh, what now?
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Don't feed the ducks. We need all the food for humans.
0:05:19 > 0:05:23Feeding food to ducks is illegal. I should have you locked up.
0:05:23 > 0:05:24HE SOBS
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Has anyone ever told you you have a way with children?
0:05:27 > 0:05:28No, but thank you.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31No, I was being funny. Is there a law against that?
0:05:31 > 0:05:33No, not yet.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37- HE WHISTLES - Taxi!
0:05:37 > 0:05:40Don't whistle for taxis. Whistling for taxis is banned,
0:05:40 > 0:05:44- in case it should be mistaken for an air raid warning.- Honestly?- Yes.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48Look, son, it's a letter from your brother on the Front Line.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51- I'll have that.- Will you stop following us around?!
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Don't write anything negative about the war.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57You can't say that or that or that.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01"Dear Dad and Charlie. Love Billy."
0:06:01 > 0:06:04There's nothing left! Why have you censored everything?!
0:06:04 > 0:06:07- Because it's bad for morale.- I'll tell you what's bad for morale -
0:06:07 > 0:06:10your new laws. And, in any case, you said this was a list
0:06:10 > 0:06:13of do's and don'ts. Well, what are the dos?
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Do what you're told.
0:06:16 > 0:06:20Walked right into that one, didn't I?
0:06:20 > 0:06:24By the end of 1914, life had changed for everyone,
0:06:24 > 0:06:27especially for those soldiers living in the trenches.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31But on Christmas Day, some British and German troops in France
0:06:31 > 0:06:35called an informal truce and played a game of football.
0:06:35 > 0:06:39Imagine that. Oh, I'm imagining it.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45Well, you join us here in the final stages
0:06:45 > 0:06:48of this most unusual England versus Germany friendly.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51Oh, and it looks like Britain are mounting another attack, Steve,
0:06:51 > 0:06:54usually it would be with guns and bayonets, but not today.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57And Jenkins has got through, that's a magnificent ball,
0:06:57 > 0:07:00there's nothing between him and the goal
0:07:00 > 0:07:03except a couple of unexploded bombs and some barbed wire.
0:07:03 > 0:07:04Shoot, shoot!
0:07:04 > 0:07:07That's a poor choice of words under the circumstances, mate.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10Good point. Kick, kick!
0:07:10 > 0:07:14And Britain have scored, that levels the match at 2-2.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17I have to say, the pitch is in a shocking condition.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Absolutely, Steve. Well, strictly speaking it's not a pitch,
0:07:20 > 0:07:24it's a battlefield. The players are playing upon No Man's Land,
0:07:24 > 0:07:27which is the area of ground between the two enemy trenches.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29And it looks like one of the British subs is warming up
0:07:29 > 0:07:33- on the touchline there. - Oh, no, he's not warming up, Steve,
0:07:33 > 0:07:36he's actually got lice from living in the trenches.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38And Germany are back in possession.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40This could be the winning goal here, Steve.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44Over here, Herman, on my head, on my head.
0:07:46 > 0:07:51Oh, sorry, guys, I probably should have taken my helmet off.
0:07:51 > 0:07:52WHISTLE BLOWS
0:07:52 > 0:07:53CHEERING
0:07:53 > 0:07:56They think it's all over, it is now.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59Unfortunately not the war, but the football game.
0:07:59 > 0:08:03- Great game, mate.- Ja, ja. You want to er, change the shirts?
0:08:03 > 0:08:06Oh, it might not be such a good idea under the circumstances.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09Oh, you funny guy.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12You're all right, mate. Happy Christmas.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15You're OK, too, chum. Happy Christmas.
0:08:15 > 0:08:19Touching scenes there. It's hard to know how these troops are going to
0:08:19 > 0:08:23- go back to trying to kill each other tomorrow.- Maybe they won't, Steve.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Maybe they won't.
0:08:28 > 0:08:29Merry Christmas.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35World War I wasn't just being fought in the trenches,
0:08:35 > 0:08:38it was also being fought in the sky with aeroplanes,
0:08:38 > 0:08:40which were quite a new invention,
0:08:40 > 0:08:42and were being used in battle for the first time.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44- PLANE ENGINE APPROACHES - AGH!
0:08:47 > 0:08:50Your chance to be a British World War I fighter pilot.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Select pilot.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56- Nice one.- No, he's far too common to be a British pilot.- Oh!
0:08:56 > 0:08:57Pick again.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59- Jolly good.- That's better.
0:08:59 > 0:09:03Only posh officers are allowed to fly in the British Royal Flying Corps.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09Will I really be using a sword much in the air?
0:09:11 > 0:09:14Am I missing something? Is the horse coming on the plane as well?
0:09:15 > 0:09:17That's more like it.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20Your plane flies at a maximum speed of 40mph,
0:09:20 > 0:09:24but go less than 35mph and your plane will stall.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Congratulations, you have survived training.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30- Phew.- Select opponent.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33You have selected Manfred von Richthofen, the Red Baron,
0:09:33 > 0:09:36the most feared German pilot in the skies.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38I have shot down more planes
0:09:38 > 0:09:41than any other German pilot.
0:09:41 > 0:09:42Can't we choose someone else?
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Ja, let's begin.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48But I've only had two hours' training in the air.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50I won't last five minutes.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56What did I tell you? Select parachute.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58- Parachute not available. - What?
0:09:58 > 0:10:00British pilots were not allowed parachutes
0:10:00 > 0:10:03in case it made them too cowardly to fight.
0:10:03 > 0:10:04Ha, you're toast!
0:10:05 > 0:10:08Be a British World War I fighter pilot.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11But not for so very long.
0:10:11 > 0:10:16Soldiers in the trenches in 1915 now faced bombing raids from the sky
0:10:16 > 0:10:20as well as another new danger - poisonous gas attacks.
0:10:20 > 0:10:24And you'll never guess what soldiers could use to save themselves.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27Hi, I'm a shouty man,
0:10:27 > 0:10:30and I'm here to tell you about the multipurpose liquid revolution...
0:10:33 > 0:10:36- Wee wee?- Yes, wee wee.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39Watch out, incoming! Gas attack!
0:10:39 > 0:10:42- Mislaid your gas mask? - Oi, happen I have.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46Then wee on a hanky and wrap it round your nose and mouth.
0:10:46 > 0:10:47Oh, yuk!
0:10:47 > 0:10:51This will protect you against some poisonous gases, not all of them.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55- Are you sure these gases are worse than the stench of wee?- Pretty sure.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58- Is your machine gun overheating? - Aye, happen it is.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01- Run out of water? - Aye, happen I have.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04Then just cool it down with new World War I wee wee.
0:11:04 > 0:11:09- Are your hard Army boots giving you blisters?- Aye, happen they are.
0:11:09 > 0:11:14Then just soften up that tough leather with new World War I wee wee.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17Wow, that feels much better. They feel like slippers now.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Well, slippers that have been wee'd on.
0:11:21 > 0:11:25Yes, that's new World War I wee wee.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28Wee for victory, boys. And how much does it cost?
0:11:28 > 0:11:32Why, one pee, of course.
0:11:35 > 0:11:39So, by 1916, everyone's doing their bit for the war effort,
0:11:39 > 0:11:41but it doesn't seem to be making much difference. In fact, the war's
0:11:41 > 0:11:43going less well than my third driving test.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45And that's the one where I hit a camel.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47The end of 1915 had seen a defeat at Gallipoli
0:11:47 > 0:11:50that cost the Allies a quarter of a million of men. And back in Europe,
0:11:50 > 0:11:53Germany and the central powers are gaining the upper hand. This means
0:11:53 > 0:11:56that even more new soldiers are needed for the front line,
0:11:56 > 0:11:59a task achieved using a combination of patriotic posters,
0:11:59 > 0:12:02enforced recruitment, or conscription,
0:12:02 > 0:12:04of men between the ages of 18 and 41,
0:12:04 > 0:12:06and the training of farm animals to fire guns,
0:12:06 > 0:12:07although probably not that last one.
0:12:07 > 0:12:12But the plan works and 1.2 million extra men join the Army in 1916,
0:12:12 > 0:12:15just in time for a major assault on the German lines
0:12:15 > 0:12:16around the French River Somme.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19And as the Allies have just spent a week firing one million mortars
0:12:19 > 0:12:23at the German lines, there's no way this attack can go wrong, right?
0:12:23 > 0:12:26Wrong! Yes, when the British Troops head out across No Man's Land
0:12:26 > 0:12:28towards the enemy, they find that the shells
0:12:28 > 0:12:30have barely touched the entrenched Germans...
0:12:30 > 0:12:34but has turned No Man's Land into a hellish tangle of barbed wire,
0:12:34 > 0:12:37which makes the Brits a sitting target for those German guns.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39But the funny thing about the Somme is, erm...
0:12:39 > 0:12:42No, I've got nothing. Sorry. In fact, the first day of the Somme
0:12:42 > 0:12:45was the single worst day of warfare in human history.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47And there's been loads of history.
0:12:47 > 0:12:51There were over 57,000 casualties of which nearly 20,000 were fatal.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54And that was just on day one. So was it worth it?
0:12:54 > 0:12:57Well, judge for yourselves.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00Ah, Corporal, do you have an update for me?
0:13:00 > 0:13:04I am pleased to report, sir, that the Somme campaign is finally over.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07Brilliant, I told you my World War I trench warfare tactics
0:13:07 > 0:13:09were state of the art.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13So, how much land have we taken back off those dastardly Germans?
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Well, sir, we have pushed the enemy back...
0:13:18 > 0:13:22- ..two miles.- Two mil... Oh, that's not very much, is it?
0:13:22 > 0:13:25But progress nevertheless, what!
0:13:25 > 0:13:28I think we should celebrate a job well done.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30- Well, it has taken us five months, sir.- Wah, wah, wah, it's always
0:13:30 > 0:13:33the negatives with you, isn't it, Corporal?
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Modern warfare takes time, man.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38It's cost us 620,000 men, sir.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Oh, that is rather a lot, isn't it?
0:13:41 > 0:13:45But on the plus side, we are two miles nearer to Berlin, what!
0:13:45 > 0:13:48- How much further to go? - 490 miles, sir.
0:13:48 > 0:13:52I see, so we've only moved two miles in five months,
0:13:52 > 0:13:56so at this rate we should be in Berlin by, oh, don't tell me...
0:13:56 > 0:14:01Er, 490 divided by two, times by five, carry over the doo-dah...
0:14:01 > 0:14:03and the what's-in-me-face...
0:14:03 > 0:14:06- It's over 100 years, sir.- Oh!
0:14:06 > 0:14:08Well, we won't be alive then, will we?
0:14:08 > 0:14:11- Not with you in charge, sir, no. - Hm.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Oh! Not as tasty as it looks.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23I'll tell you what else wasn't as tasty as it looked -
0:14:23 > 0:14:27the food that we had to eat in the trenches. Urgh!
0:14:27 > 0:14:32Four eager chefs, four historical eras, but just one prize.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Who will be crowned Historical MasterChef?
0:14:34 > 0:14:38Whoever wins this competition, it will change their lives.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42What he said.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49Ernie is a World War I soldier who has to prepare his own meals
0:14:49 > 0:14:50from limited rations.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Mate, mate, mate, mate, mate,
0:14:52 > 0:14:54you can't do that, that's unhygienic.
0:14:54 > 0:14:55Oh, but it feels so good.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59I've been stuck in those freezing cold trenches for months, months.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01You can't leave these - urgh!
0:15:01 > 0:15:04Yeah, my socks are a bit riddled with lice, I'm afraid.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07- Don't worry, mate, you get used to the itching.- Do you?
0:15:07 > 0:15:10No. Still, waste not, want not, eh?
0:15:10 > 0:15:12Urgh!
0:15:12 > 0:15:13The red ones are more juicy.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Urgh!
0:15:15 > 0:15:17With Gregg deloused,
0:15:17 > 0:15:20it's time to find out what Ernie will be serving up.
0:15:20 > 0:15:26OK, everyone, time's up. Stop cooking meals of food.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30Well, first up, I've made dog and maggot.
0:15:30 > 0:15:34- Not actual dog and maggot? - Oh, no, no, no.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36That's just trench talk for bread and cheese.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40- I'm following that with baby's head. - Right, not actual babies?
0:15:40 > 0:15:44No, not actual babies. That's trench talk for meat pudding.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46It's called that cos it looks a bit like a baby's head.
0:15:46 > 0:15:51And lastly my piece de resistance - messenger pigeon pie.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Now you're talking.
0:15:53 > 0:15:58- Just to double check, not actual messenger pigeon?- Yeah, actual.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01Well, we weren't sending any messages, so waste not want not.
0:16:03 > 0:16:04Talking of which...
0:16:06 > 0:16:08It's not bad.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Ernie, your food was disgusting.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14However, we admired your resourcefulness,
0:16:14 > 0:16:15and for that reason,
0:16:15 > 0:16:19we're putting you through to the next round, congratulations, mate.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Oh, that's wonderful, thank you.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23Hm, what is this?
0:16:23 > 0:16:27Tea. It's from stale rainwater I scooped out of a dirty shell hole.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30It does tend to give you quite bad diarrhoea if you're not used to it.
0:16:30 > 0:16:31HE FARTS
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Oh, oh, no, I don't think I'm going to make it, boys.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Waste not, want not, eh?
0:16:35 > 0:16:36HE FARTS
0:16:36 > 0:16:39Still not used to it, still not used to it.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10# We're the cousins who ruled over dozens
0:17:10 > 0:17:12- # King George - Tsar Nick
0:17:12 > 0:17:13# Kaiser Billy
0:17:13 > 0:17:15# When the century started
0:17:15 > 0:17:17# We could hardly be parted
0:17:17 > 0:17:22# And that was long before the frightful First World War
0:17:25 > 0:17:30# I'm King George and when young I forged an alliance with these two
0:17:30 > 0:17:33# Through Queen Vic we were related
0:17:33 > 0:17:35# Together world power she created
0:17:35 > 0:17:37# I'm Tsar Nicholas with George mischievous
0:17:37 > 0:17:39# Swapped uniforms at posh dos
0:17:39 > 0:17:42# We looked liked twin set, matching beards
0:17:42 > 0:17:44# Right royal family, if a little weird
0:17:44 > 0:17:46# Drove advisors round the bend
0:17:46 > 0:17:49# So all that friendship has to end
0:17:49 > 0:17:51# We're relations Crowned by our nations
0:17:51 > 0:17:53- # Great Britain - Russia
0:17:53 > 0:17:54# And Germany
0:17:54 > 0:17:56# When our governments fell out
0:17:56 > 0:17:58# Peaceful relations put in doubt
0:17:58 > 0:18:03# Conditions perfect for the frightful First World War
0:18:06 > 0:18:11# I'm Kaiser Wilhelm, I kind of felt a bit left out by the rest
0:18:11 > 0:18:13# They had beards, I only had a moustache
0:18:13 > 0:18:16# Feared my withered arm gave me less panache
0:18:16 > 0:18:20# I love the military, thought at diplomacy I would be the best
0:18:20 > 0:18:22# We sent telegrams, hoped to stop the bombs
0:18:22 > 0:18:25# But they weren't worth the paper they were written on
0:18:25 > 0:18:27# I called England mad March hares
0:18:27 > 0:18:30# You didn't help avert war there
0:18:30 > 0:18:32# Now all leaders that all succeed us
0:18:32 > 0:18:33- # Great Britain - Russia
0:18:33 > 0:18:35# Both against me
0:18:35 > 0:18:37# I was in charge of German troops
0:18:37 > 0:18:39# But you proved to be hopeless, oops!
0:18:39 > 0:18:41# The commanders, they ignored
0:18:41 > 0:18:44# In the frightful First World War
0:18:54 > 0:18:56# Execution. Oh!
0:18:56 > 0:18:58# And when the war was no more
0:18:58 > 0:18:59- # We won - We lost
0:18:59 > 0:19:01# Call it a score draw
0:19:01 > 0:19:03# I was the only one left in charge
0:19:03 > 0:19:04# I ran away but still at large
0:19:04 > 0:19:07# And all this frightful war could do
0:19:07 > 0:19:09# Was set up World War II
0:19:09 > 0:19:11# Which was us against you
0:19:11 > 0:19:13# Boo, boo, be doo. #
0:19:15 > 0:19:18Talk about families at war, eh?
0:19:18 > 0:19:19And what a war it was.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22So many soldiers were being killed that the authorities were in
0:19:22 > 0:19:25desperate need of more troops.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28Sergeant!
0:19:28 > 0:19:33I thought I'd make a quick spot inspection while it's...
0:19:33 > 0:19:36Nice and safe while the enemy aren't shooting at us, sir?
0:19:36 > 0:19:39Well, yes, I thought I'd take a look at our frontline troops.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41British fighting man's the best in the world, Hott!
0:19:41 > 0:19:43Yes, indeed, sir.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46Well, the men are ready for you, sir.
0:19:46 > 0:19:47Oh, very good.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Atten...shun!
0:19:54 > 0:19:57Sergeant, they appear to be women and a boy.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00Yes, sir, but only physically, sir.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02Legally, they're men.
0:20:02 > 0:20:03I've seen their sign-up papers.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06Well, they all clearly lied when they signed up, then, didn't they?
0:20:06 > 0:20:08I mean this one here's practically a child.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12According to his papers, he's 36 and married with three children.
0:20:12 > 0:20:13Let's face it, sir,
0:20:13 > 0:20:16the British Army's so desperate for soldiers,
0:20:16 > 0:20:17we'll let anyone in.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20Well, what happens when a great, strapping German division attacks?
0:20:20 > 0:20:21What happens then?
0:20:21 > 0:20:23We're about to find out, sir.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25They're in the trench.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Here they come.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31What on earth is going on, Sergeant?
0:20:31 > 0:20:34It seems the Germans have a similar situation.
0:20:34 > 0:20:38Their army's packed full of pensioners.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42I think he died of old age.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45Well, keep up the good work.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Carry on, men, women, boys.
0:20:48 > 0:20:49That's the spirit, sir.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58Plus by 1918, that revolution in Russia has thrown the country
0:20:58 > 0:21:02into turmoil and they exit the war, leaving the Allies more vulnerable
0:21:02 > 0:21:05to attack than a rabbit wearing a high-viz jacket in an owl sanctuary.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08Luckily, the Americans have decided that they don't much like the fact
0:21:08 > 0:21:11German submarines have been attacking their ships -
0:21:11 > 0:21:12well, who would? -
0:21:12 > 0:21:14and agree to join the war on the Allied side. However,
0:21:14 > 0:21:16with no experience of modern warfare,
0:21:16 > 0:21:18it'll take a year to train up their troops,
0:21:18 > 0:21:21giving the Germans one final chance to try
0:21:21 > 0:21:23and snatch victory before this huge new army arrives.
0:21:23 > 0:21:27So, in spring 1918, the Germans launch a last-ditch assault
0:21:27 > 0:21:30with half a million troops recalled from the old Russian Front, and
0:21:30 > 0:21:34with numbers on their side, it looks like they've got victory in the bag.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36But not for long. Yes, in the nick of time,
0:21:36 > 0:21:39the American soldiers finally show up looking all buff
0:21:39 > 0:21:40and helped to turn the war around.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42Suddenly, the Germans are staring defeat in the face
0:21:42 > 0:21:45and that's despite having the best fighter pilot there is -
0:21:45 > 0:21:47the highly confident Red Baron.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49- ALL:- Red Baron! - That's me.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51- ALL:- Red Baron. - That's me.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53- ALL:- Red Baron. - That's me.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55- ALL:- Red Baron. - Ah, hah.
0:21:55 > 0:21:56Guten tag, Red Baron.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Oh! However did you know it was me?
0:21:58 > 0:22:00THEY LAUGH
0:22:00 > 0:22:03Yes, that was quite funny, wasn't it? Someone write that down.
0:22:03 > 0:22:08- How are you today? - Breathtaking as always, yourself?
0:22:08 > 0:22:09Well, my back is giving me...
0:22:09 > 0:22:12Fabulous, now listen, I need your help.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15I've just shot down a British plane and I'd like to commemorate
0:22:15 > 0:22:19my achievement by having a nice silver cup...
0:22:19 > 0:22:21With the date engraved on the side.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Oh! How did you know?
0:22:23 > 0:22:27Maybe I am psychic or maybe you always order that.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29I must have engraved 60 cups for you already.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32Oh, is it 60? I don't really count.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35- Well, maybe it's less than 60. - No, it's 60, it's definitely 60.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Now you've seen what we're capable of,
0:22:43 > 0:22:46are you going to do me another cup or not?
0:22:46 > 0:22:49- Not.- Why not?- Because we have run out of silver.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Well, why don't you just order some more?
0:22:51 > 0:22:54No, no, Germany has run out of silver.
0:22:54 > 0:22:55The war has caused a national shortage.
0:22:55 > 0:22:59But I need a souvenir for the last plane I shot down.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02Baron, what about the little piece of plane wreckage
0:23:02 > 0:23:04we recovered from the crash site?
0:23:04 > 0:23:07Well, yes, there is that, I suppose.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10- Yeah, for sure I can engrave that for you.- Er, no.
0:23:10 > 0:23:14I'd rather keep my plane plain.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19Don't write that one down. Right, well, we must be going,
0:23:19 > 0:23:25I need to take my souvenir back to complain - it has a hole in it.
0:23:25 > 0:23:26THEY LAUGH
0:23:26 > 0:23:28You may write that one down.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30I'm back!
0:23:30 > 0:23:31Exit chanting, please.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33- ALL:- Red Baron. - That's me.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35- ALL:- Red Baron. - Oh, yeah.
0:23:35 > 0:23:36- ALL:- Red Baron. - It is I.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38- ALL:- Red Baron.
0:23:38 > 0:23:39I think we are going to lose.
0:23:39 > 0:23:44The Red Baron's luck finally ran out and he was killed in April 1918,
0:23:44 > 0:23:47which was a really bad year for the Germans.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50They were defeated in November and the end of the war was announced.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52Hooray!
0:23:52 > 0:23:54But it wasn't over straightaway.
0:23:54 > 0:23:55Oh, no.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58GUNFIRE AND EXPLOSIONS
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Captain! Everyone, I have great news.
0:24:02 > 0:24:06The Germans have admitted defeat and agreed to a complete ceasefire.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08- So, no more fighting? - No more war.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11From the 11th hour of the 11th day
0:24:11 > 0:24:14of the 11th month, there will be peace at last.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17- Hooray!- Sorry, what do you mean by the 11th hour?
0:24:17 > 0:24:20Well, that's when the armistice officially begins, 11am,
0:24:20 > 0:24:22the 11th November 1918.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25And until that time we're still at war with Germany.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28- Technically, yeah.- Right, two more minutes men, two more minutes!
0:24:28 > 0:24:31Whoa, whoa, what are you doing? The enemy have surrendered.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Not until 11 o'clock, they haven't, and besides, look at
0:24:33 > 0:24:36all of that ammunition. Are you going to carry that lot home?
0:24:36 > 0:24:39- Because I'm certainly not.- You mean you're just going keep shooting
0:24:39 > 0:24:41- at them until the stroke of 11? - Yeah.- But, Captain.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43The Boche are still firing at us.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46Of course they are! Because we're still firing at them.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49- Ah, Major General Wright, sir. - Geoff.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52I just wanted to let you folks know that me and my boys are going to
0:24:52 > 0:24:55try and take that there town over there.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57- But the war's virtually over. - That's what I'm talking about, boy.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00We need to get in there before 11
0:25:00 > 0:25:05or the Germans will bagsy all the baths. Follow me, men.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07No, no, stop it, this is crazy!
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Will everyone just stop shooting at each other?
0:25:09 > 0:25:12- It's literally 60 seconds to go. - Tom's right,
0:25:12 > 0:25:15no-one's going to win any medals taking pot shots at the enemy.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17Please listen to my friend, Henry.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20Charging at them with a bayonet.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22Charge!
0:25:22 > 0:25:23EXPLOSION
0:25:23 > 0:25:25No!
0:25:25 > 0:25:28They've killed Private Gunther. Right...
0:25:28 > 0:25:31permission to let the Boche have it, sir.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34Certainly not. Have you seen the time?
0:25:34 > 0:25:36You fire at the Germans now and it's murder.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39Honestly, some people.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Run me a bath, Jenkins.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46So, that's the Great War in a nutshell,
0:25:46 > 0:25:49and with World War I finally over, everyone vows not to let it
0:25:49 > 0:25:52happen again by signing the Treaty of Versailles, which controversially
0:25:52 > 0:25:55makes Germany accept responsibility for the war, and tells them
0:25:55 > 0:25:58they need to pay back the Allies for all the money they spent on it,
0:25:58 > 0:26:01which goes on to bankrupt Germany, setting up the perfect conditions
0:26:01 > 0:26:03for Hitler's rise to power.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06So, basically the end of World War I goes on to cause World War II.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09Which makes me wish I understood irony, because that's probably it.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11However, the war does change some things.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14Some of the scarier details made me change my pants, for example,
0:26:14 > 0:26:16and it certainly changed the lives of women.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18Before the war, suffragettes,
0:26:18 > 0:26:21fighting for the right to vote, had struggled to be taken seriously.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23But, thanks to their help with the war effort,
0:26:23 > 0:26:26the nation's minds had been changed. I'll let them tell you how.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29But from me, for now, goodbye.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33We are the suffragettes.
0:26:33 > 0:26:34Think you know some fierce girls?
0:26:34 > 0:26:36You ain't heard nothing yet.
0:26:36 > 0:26:40# A lass called Millie Fawcett, founder of our cause
0:26:40 > 0:26:43# Started the battle for our rights
0:26:43 > 0:26:47# Argued the Government should change the laws
0:26:47 > 0:26:50# Here is how she stated our plight
0:26:50 > 0:26:53# How come girls can't vote for rules that we have to obey
0:26:53 > 0:26:57# When we work and pay taxes, too?
0:26:57 > 0:26:59# Parliament's reaction was
0:26:59 > 0:27:01# Oh, do go away
0:27:01 > 0:27:03# How dare they diss the suffrage crew
0:27:05 > 0:27:06# Suffragettes sing
0:27:06 > 0:27:08# We're going to do this thing
0:27:08 > 0:27:11# Peaceful protest started in 1903
0:27:11 > 0:27:15# Got no reaction, needed traffic action
0:27:15 > 0:27:17# Got a new leader, Emmeline Pankhurst
0:27:17 > 0:27:19# That's me
0:27:22 > 0:27:25# Burst into Parliament shouting votes for women
0:27:25 > 0:27:29# Actions though were shocking and new
0:27:29 > 0:27:31# Chained ourselves to palace gates
0:27:31 > 0:27:32# Tension was brimming
0:27:32 > 0:27:36# Our name now WSPU
0:27:36 > 0:27:39# Burned down churches, smashed up shops, attacked MPs
0:27:39 > 0:27:43# The result, we were thrown in jail
0:27:43 > 0:27:46# This made us more determined as you'll come to see
0:27:46 > 0:27:49# Think we give up fighting? Hey, fail!
0:27:50 > 0:27:53# Suffragettes sing, together we can win
0:27:53 > 0:27:57# In prison, we protested and went on hunger strike
0:27:57 > 0:28:00# Men still said no, but we just said yo
0:28:00 > 0:28:02# You won't stop us now
0:28:02 > 0:28:04# Miss Davison, please take the mic
0:28:04 > 0:28:07# We became more extreme Derby Day, June 13
0:28:07 > 0:28:09# In front of King and Queen
0:28:09 > 0:28:11# Committed sacrifice supreme
0:28:11 > 0:28:14# Crept unseen between the team and crowds watching the race
0:28:14 > 0:28:16# And threw myself under a horse
0:28:16 > 0:28:18# To try and make our case
0:28:18 > 0:28:21# Became a famous martyr How did men react?
0:28:21 > 0:28:25# We can't give women votes if they're so stupid they'll do that
0:28:25 > 0:28:28# Seemed our cause was lost when World War came along
0:28:28 > 0:28:31# Our suffragette reaction
0:28:31 > 0:28:35# Was to wave our protest goodbye, farewell, so long
0:28:35 > 0:28:39# To patriotic action
0:28:39 > 0:28:42# Put down our banners saying give us votes, instead
0:28:42 > 0:28:46# Supported Government's fight
0:28:46 > 0:28:49# Worked to help them win the war So guess what they said?
0:28:49 > 0:28:52# OK, ladies, you were right
0:28:53 > 0:28:56# Suffragettes sing, we've done it ding, ding
0:28:56 > 0:29:00# At last those men could see they should treat us the same
0:29:00 > 0:29:03# So all take note now, women can vote
0:29:03 > 0:29:08# And it's thanks to those who fought in the suffragette name. #
0:29:10 > 0:29:11- # Tall tales - Atrocious acts
0:29:11 > 0:29:14- # We gave you all the fearsome facts - The ugly truth, no glam or glitz
0:29:14 > 0:29:16# We showed you all the juicy bits
0:29:16 > 0:29:18# Gory, ghastly, mean and cruel
0:29:18 > 0:29:20# Stuff they don't teach you at school
0:29:20 > 0:29:23# The past is no longer a mystery
0:29:23 > 0:29:25# Hope you enjoyed
0:29:25 > 0:29:29# Horrible Histories. #