0:00:02 > 0:00:04# Terrible Tudors, Gorgeous Georgians Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians
0:00:04 > 0:00:06# Woeful wars, ferocious fights Dingy castles, daring knights
0:00:06 > 0:00:10# Horrors that defy description Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians
0:00:10 > 0:00:12# Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes Punishment from ancient times
0:00:12 > 0:00:14# Roman, rotten, rank and ruthless
0:00:14 > 0:00:15# Cavemen savage, fierce and toothless
0:00:15 > 0:00:18# Groovy Greeks, brainy sages Mean and measly Middle Ages
0:00:18 > 0:00:20# Gory stories, we do that
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# And your host, a talking rat
0:00:23 > 0:00:25# The past is no longer a mystery
0:00:25 > 0:00:30# Welcome to Horrible Histories. #
0:00:36 > 0:00:40Travelling around in Stuart Britain can be very dangerous.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42I think I'll just stay at home.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46FLAGEOLET PLAYS
0:00:51 > 0:00:53Darling, must you?
0:00:53 > 0:00:57It calms my nerves. You know how dangerous coach travel can be
0:00:57 > 0:01:00nowadays, what with all the highwaymen on the road.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Oh, what was that?
0:01:02 > 0:01:04Just a rut in the road, I expect.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Oh, what was that?
0:01:06 > 0:01:07Just a branch hitting the roof.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Oh!
0:01:09 > 0:01:11Oh, what's happening?
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Just a quick stop to feed the horses, I'd imagine.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Rah!
0:01:15 > 0:01:18And that's just a highwayman pointing a loaded pistol at us.
0:01:18 > 0:01:19- Huh!- Oh!
0:01:19 > 0:01:20Stand and deliver.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23By which I mean, stay seated and give me stuff.
0:01:23 > 0:01:28I reckon a couple of toffs like you carry at least £400 in cash,
0:01:28 > 0:01:31so if you hand it over calmly, there is no need to...
0:01:32 > 0:01:36A flageolet. Tell me, do you play?
0:01:36 > 0:01:38- I do indeed.- Shall we?
0:01:40 > 0:01:42FLAGEOLETS PLAY
0:01:45 > 0:01:49Sorry, just to check, are you still holding us up?
0:01:49 > 0:01:52You know it is so nice to meet a fellow musician.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54Do you know Jackdaws In Spring?
0:01:54 > 0:01:55I do.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57Well, this couldn't get any weirder if it...
0:01:57 > 0:02:00MORE FLAGEOLETS PLAY
0:02:01 > 0:02:02My mistake.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Yeah, look, sorry to be a party-pooper,
0:02:05 > 0:02:10but could we possibly get back to the hold-up? We have dinner at six.
0:02:10 > 0:02:11Of course, of course.
0:02:12 > 0:02:13Enchante.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17Now where were we? Oh, yes, armed robbery.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Now, since you are kind enough to allow me to dance
0:02:19 > 0:02:22with your very talented wife.
0:02:22 > 0:02:23Oh, you!
0:02:23 > 0:02:24I shall do a special knockdown rate.
0:02:24 > 0:02:28Say £100 for the whole crime, what do you think?
0:02:28 > 0:02:29Oh, very decent of you.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Not a problem, least I can do.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33- There you are.- Ah! Thank you.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Have you ever considered getting into the music business?
0:02:35 > 0:02:39No, between you and I, I hear it is full of crooks.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46What's the difference between Claude Duval and Strictly Come Dancing?
0:02:46 > 0:02:49One's a dancing criminal, the other's got criminal dancing.
0:02:51 > 0:02:52All right, suit yourself.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56When Claude Duval was eventually caught, Charles II liked him
0:02:56 > 0:02:59so much he tried to get him released.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01But poor Claude was hanged all the same.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12During World War II, all sorts of weird
0:03:12 > 0:03:15and unlikely new weapons were developed.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19But none perhaps as weird and unlikely as the bat bomb.
0:03:19 > 0:03:23Yes, the Americans came up with a plan to glue firebombs to bats
0:03:23 > 0:03:25and release them over Japan.
0:03:25 > 0:03:29The idea was the bats would go and roost in Japanese wooden
0:03:29 > 0:03:32buildings and then explode and set fire to their cities.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34It was a brilliant plan.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37But there was just one slight problem.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Some of the bat bombs escaped...
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Come back here, come back here now, that's an order!
0:03:42 > 0:03:45..and blew an American air base to pieces.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50It was very much back to the drawing board...
0:03:51 > 0:03:53..which had also been blown to pieces.
0:03:54 > 0:03:58In World War II, British Air Command started using radar
0:03:58 > 0:03:59to see German planes at night.
0:03:59 > 0:04:03But radar was a big secret. So to stop the Germans finding out,
0:04:03 > 0:04:05the British cooked up a rather unusual cover story.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06Carry on.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14- Well, how did the bombing raid go? - Not very well.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17He got shot down. BOTH: Again!
0:04:17 > 0:04:20What?! This keeps happening. Even though we attack them at night.
0:04:20 > 0:04:21I know.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23It's as though they have some sort of groundbreaking new
0:04:23 > 0:04:27technology that allows them to scan the skies for aircraft
0:04:27 > 0:04:30and plot our exact position on some sort of screen?
0:04:30 > 0:04:32That is exactly what it's like,
0:04:32 > 0:04:35and do you know what my intelligence reports tell me it is?
0:04:35 > 0:04:36Carrots.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40They have trained carrots to scan the sky for aircraft and...
0:04:40 > 0:04:41No, no, no.
0:04:41 > 0:04:45Apparently, eating lots of carrots improves their ability
0:04:45 > 0:04:46to see in the dark.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48That is how they can see us even on night raids.
0:04:48 > 0:04:52And this is not some vile rumour, there is a leak.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Is it carrots or leeks?
0:04:54 > 0:04:57No, no, there is a source.
0:04:57 > 0:04:58A leek sauce?
0:04:58 > 0:05:01No, no, there is an informer inside the British Air Ministry
0:05:01 > 0:05:05who has let us know that it is eating lots of carrots
0:05:05 > 0:05:07that allows their pilots to see in the dark.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10Ja, could it not be a bluff?
0:05:10 > 0:05:11Well if it is, it's a very good bluff.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14They have even started to tell the British people that eating
0:05:14 > 0:05:17the carrots will allow them to see better during the blackouts.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19There is a poster and everything.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Then there is only one thing for it.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25We build a weapon to destroy the world's carrots!
0:05:25 > 0:05:28And to be safe, any other brightly-coloured root vegetable.
0:05:28 > 0:05:33Dumkoffs! We give ourselves the same advantage.
0:05:33 > 0:05:34If we also start eating the carrots
0:05:34 > 0:05:37then we too will be able to see in the dark.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39The table will be turned.
0:05:39 > 0:05:40It's brilliant.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Now darkness is our ally.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50- To your planes.- Ja wohl!
0:05:50 > 0:05:53CRASH!
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Yeah, I don't think it's the carrots.
0:05:56 > 0:05:57Yeah, possibly not carrots.
0:05:59 > 0:06:03Yes, it was in fact radar that helped British pilots
0:06:03 > 0:06:05to see in the dark, not carrots.
0:06:05 > 0:06:09Although the vitamins in carrots are good for your eyes.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12Carrots are also good for a nose, if you're a snowman.
0:06:17 > 0:06:21Now, That's What They Called Greek Battle Music.
0:06:21 > 0:06:25Pumping music to motivate, focus and help you get fired up for battle.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Featuring this track for Athenian troops.
0:06:27 > 0:06:32Oh, yeah, love it! Now well psyched up.
0:06:32 > 0:06:36Woo, let's do this thing, come on.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38This hit for Theban Warriors.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Oh, I pity the warrior, that has to face me today.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45I pity him!
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Oh, bring it on.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50And music for Spartan Warriors.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Oh, I'm so pumped.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56Hey, hey, hey, guys, chillax, yeah?
0:06:56 > 0:06:59Dude, this music isn't going to get you fired up.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02Us Spartans are permanently fired up and ready for battle,
0:07:02 > 0:07:06so much so that before we fight, we need music just to calm us down,
0:07:06 > 0:07:08yeah? Can you dig?
0:07:08 > 0:07:11So you're trying not to get psyched up?
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Of course! You don't want the fun of battle to be over too quickly,
0:07:14 > 0:07:15do you?
0:07:18 > 0:07:21Who wants a fight?!
0:07:22 > 0:07:26I'll knock your head off!
0:07:26 > 0:07:30Now, That's What They Called Greek Battle Music.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Hit after hit, after hit.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35Sparta! COUGHS
0:07:35 > 0:07:36Argh!
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Buy now while enemies last.
0:07:39 > 0:07:40It's true.
0:07:40 > 0:07:45Spartan men were full-time warriors, so battle-ready they preferred to
0:07:45 > 0:07:49listen to flutes and panpipes, you really wouldn't want to face them.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52I guess the good thing about wearing a tunic was,
0:07:52 > 0:07:54if you weed yourself it wasn't so obvious.
0:07:55 > 0:08:00And every Spartan warrior needed a Spartan bride.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06Tomorrow is Spartan bride Creosa's wedding day,
0:08:06 > 0:08:07perhaps the biggest day of her life.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Ow!
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Will you hold still? I'm nearly done.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13But she has let her fiance, Actaeon,
0:08:13 > 0:08:15plan every single detail of their wedding.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18Well I've chosen her outfit, planned the ceremony,
0:08:18 > 0:08:19even picked her hairstyle.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21I just hope she likes it.
0:08:21 > 0:08:25So, will it be a day to remember, or one she'd rather forget?
0:08:25 > 0:08:29- Oh, dear!- There, just like he asked for, what do you think?
0:08:29 > 0:08:34Well I think...it's wonderful, you're the best bridesmaid ever.
0:08:34 > 0:08:35Oh!
0:08:35 > 0:08:40Oh, yeah, sorry, this is Don't Tell The Spartan Bride.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43With her fiance's choice of haircut having gone down surprisingly well
0:08:43 > 0:08:46in fact, Creosa is now waiting for the delivery
0:08:46 > 0:08:48of the wedding outfit Actaeon has picked for her.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51Knock, knock! I've got your bridal wear.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54'I've gone pretty traditional with the outfit.'
0:08:54 > 0:08:57I mean all me army buddies went for the same thing with their brides,
0:08:57 > 0:08:59so, you know, if it ain't broke...
0:08:59 > 0:09:03So will Actaeon's traditional outfit be everything that Creosa
0:09:03 > 0:09:05- ever dreamed of?- Ta-dah!
0:09:05 > 0:09:09Oh, no! Actaeon has dressed his wife up like a Spartan man!
0:09:09 > 0:09:11He's going to be in so much trouble now.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13- What do you think?- Stunning.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15- I know.- You look like a man!
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Grrh!
0:09:17 > 0:09:20As a Spartan Warrior, Actaeon's devotion
0:09:20 > 0:09:23to the men in his unit is absolute.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26So making me look like a man on our big day,
0:09:26 > 0:09:28it just shows how much he loves me.
0:09:28 > 0:09:29It's so romantic.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31Who'd have thought?!
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Well with her wedding outfit complete, apparently,
0:09:33 > 0:09:37Creosa has just one more night as a single woman before
0:09:37 > 0:09:41she finally sees the ceremony that Actaeon has spent so long planning.
0:09:41 > 0:09:42Ha-haa!
0:09:42 > 0:09:45Oh, right, it seems Actaeon is kidnapping his fiancee.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Is no-one else finding this a bit weird?
0:09:47 > 0:09:50No? OK.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53Actaeon has delivered Creosa back to her mother's house - great!
0:09:53 > 0:09:56So now it must be time for the ceremony.
0:09:56 > 0:09:57Right, I'm off to war.
0:09:57 > 0:09:58Yeah see you, babe.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Yeah, see you in ten years,
0:10:00 > 0:10:01- Ta-ra.- What?
0:10:01 > 0:10:04That was it, she shaves her head, dresses like a man,
0:10:04 > 0:10:07he kidnaps her and then leaves her straight away to go off to war?
0:10:07 > 0:10:09That was a Spartan wedding?!
0:10:09 > 0:10:15Actaeon was amazing, I mean our wedding was perfect in every detail.
0:10:15 > 0:10:16It was just perfect.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Oh, I give up!
0:10:18 > 0:10:21I wonder if that nice antique show needs a voice-over person.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28When the Titanic set sail in 1912,
0:10:28 > 0:10:31it was thought to be practically unsinkable.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33This might explain why everyone on board
0:10:33 > 0:10:35was so badly off when disaster struck.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Imagine if the crew had got together
0:10:37 > 0:10:39to discuss how ill-prepared they were.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43Right, gentlemen,
0:10:43 > 0:10:46as you know, we've got over 2,000 passengers on board the Titanic
0:10:46 > 0:10:52for this trip and we're sailing into an area well-known for its icebergs.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55So I thought it only prudent to go through a few safety checks.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57How did today's lifeboat drill go?
0:10:57 > 0:11:00It was cancelled, Captain Smith, as per your orders.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Good work, Murdoch, who needs a lifeboat drill
0:11:02 > 0:11:05when you're on a ship this size?
0:11:05 > 0:11:07I mean surely it's unsinkable, right?
0:11:07 > 0:11:08You'd have thought so, sir.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Hm, best be on the safe side though.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13Have you checked there are enough lifeboats for everyone on board?
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Of course we have, sir, there aren't.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17We've only got 20 lifeboats,
0:11:17 > 0:11:19- not nearly enough for all of our passengers.- Is that wise?
0:11:19 > 0:11:22I don't really know, sir, nobody's ever made a ship this big
0:11:22 > 0:11:24so regulations don't really cover it.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Oh, only the regulations are regulations
0:11:26 > 0:11:29even if there aren't any regulations.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31And, er, do we know how to use these lifeboats?
0:11:31 > 0:11:34No idea, sir. Most of us haven't had the necessary training.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Oh, well, I'm sure it'll be fine anyway.
0:11:37 > 0:11:38Wireless operator,
0:11:38 > 0:11:42have we received any warnings of any icebergs in the area?
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Yes, we've had warnings from other ships.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Mm-hm. Don't suppose there's anything to worry about.
0:11:47 > 0:11:51- Probably not, sir. - Good, who's on the lookout tonight?
0:11:51 > 0:11:54- I am, sir. - And have you got your binoculars?
0:11:54 > 0:11:58- No, sir.- Oh! Won't you need them when you're manning the searchlight?
0:11:58 > 0:12:00There isn't a searchlight, sir.
0:12:00 > 0:12:04Just testing, seaman, this is all just precautionary stuff anyway.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07I've been at sea 40 years and I've never had a problem.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10We might as well increase the ship's speed to maximum.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13That way, we'll arrive in New York earlier than expected.
0:12:13 > 0:12:17Oh, er, who's the most experienced officer on the bridge?
0:12:17 > 0:12:19- Erm, you are, sir. - I'm off to bed then.
0:12:19 > 0:12:23Murdoch, you're in charge, don't worry about a thing.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25It's not as if the Titanic's going to sink!
0:12:25 > 0:12:27LAUGHTER
0:12:27 > 0:12:30- Funny.- Right then, I think I deserve a nightcap.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34Oh, anyone know where I can get any ice?
0:12:36 > 0:12:37Oh, I'm sure some will show up.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43The Titanic was meant to be unsinkable,
0:12:43 > 0:12:46so there weren't enough safety measures put in place.
0:12:46 > 0:12:50And when it did hit an iceberg, well, the result was a tragedy.
0:12:50 > 0:12:561,502 people died and only around 700 survived.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59But some of the survivors' stories, well, they're amazing.
0:13:02 > 0:13:07# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths They're funny cos they're true, woo!
0:13:07 > 0:13:11# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths Hope next time it's not you. #
0:13:11 > 0:13:12Ha-hee.
0:13:12 > 0:13:16Hm, new hairdo, is it, it looks like you've seen a ghost.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Boo! Ha-ha!
0:13:18 > 0:13:20Oh, cheer up, just trying to help you out.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22Next!
0:13:22 > 0:13:24- Name?- Arthur John Priest.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27- Occupation?- I worked stoking boilers on ships, you know,
0:13:27 > 0:13:30basically shovelling coal into furnaces.
0:13:30 > 0:13:31Any ships I might have heard of?
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Well, er, the Titanic.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Hm, no, never heard of it.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37I'm kidding! Of course I have.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39So you drowned on the Titanic, did you?
0:13:39 > 0:13:41No, I survived.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Hm, but you worked in the engine room, which means you must
0:13:44 > 0:13:47have been in the very bowels of the ship when the iceberg hit?
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Yes, I was, and I had to make my way up through
0:13:49 > 0:13:52a maze of gangways to get onto the top deck.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55Once I eventually got there the lifeboats had almost all gone,
0:13:55 > 0:13:57so I had to dive into the ocean.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Oh, it must have been freezing?
0:13:59 > 0:14:01Well you're not kidding, and cos it was so hot in the boiler room,
0:14:01 > 0:14:04all I was wearing was shorts and a vest.
0:14:04 > 0:14:05A lifeboat did pick me up eventually,
0:14:05 > 0:14:07but not before I got frostbite.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Listen, mate, if you've only lost a couple of tootsies,
0:14:09 > 0:14:12you're not going to impress anyone here, you follow?
0:14:12 > 0:14:15So anyway, the Titanic must have put you off ships for good, did it?
0:14:15 > 0:14:19No, I later went on to serve on the Alcantara in the First World War.
0:14:19 > 0:14:221916, I think it was, yes. She sunk in a sea battle.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25- And then you drowned?- No, I survived.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27Well, surely that must have put you off sailing?
0:14:27 > 0:14:29No, my next ship was the Britannic
0:14:29 > 0:14:31which was even bigger than the Titanic.
0:14:31 > 0:14:35During the First World War, they used it as a hospital ship.
0:14:35 > 0:14:36Don't tell me that sunk as well?
0:14:36 > 0:14:38It certainly did, got hit by a mine.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40And then you drowned?
0:14:40 > 0:14:41No, I survived!
0:14:41 > 0:14:45You survived the sinking of three ships? Incredible!
0:14:45 > 0:14:46Don't tell me, fourth time lucky?
0:14:46 > 0:14:51In 1917, I worked on another hospital ship, the Donegal.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53She was hit by a torpedo and sunk.
0:14:53 > 0:14:54And then you drowned?
0:14:54 > 0:14:56No, I survived.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59What! Again? So when did you drown?
0:14:59 > 0:15:02I didn't! I died decades later on land.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05Of pneumonia, as it happens, in a nice warm bed.
0:15:05 > 0:15:09Heavens above! That's not a stupid death, that's a boring death!
0:15:09 > 0:15:11You want the queue next door, can't miss it,
0:15:11 > 0:15:13it's the long and boring one.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Go on, hop it, you time-waster.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18Oh, you mean I don't get to go through the, er, the whatsit?
0:15:18 > 0:15:21No, you don't go through the whatsit.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Well, there's a first for everything.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25Honestly, where do they find them?
0:15:25 > 0:15:27Not at the bottom of the ocean, that's for sure!
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Ha-ha! Come on.
0:15:29 > 0:15:34# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths Hope next time it's not you. #
0:15:41 > 0:15:43This is our patch.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46- It's ours.- Your turf ends at the waterfall. This land is ours.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Was yours.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51Don't push your luck, Radnor, you might not live to regret it.
0:15:51 > 0:15:52We have a claim to this land.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55- You're disrespecting me. - So what if I am?
0:15:55 > 0:15:57You're disrespecting my whole family.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59So what are you going to do about it?
0:15:59 > 0:16:01There's only one thing we can do.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04That's right. We settle this the Viking way.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06We settle it the Viking way!
0:16:07 > 0:16:11- With reasoned discussion and democratic debate.- Agreed.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13We need to discuss this dispute in a Viking parliament.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16- Agreed.- Well, I'll see you there next Saturday.
0:16:16 > 0:16:17- Lovely.- I'll look forward to it.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19- Hm.- How's Pat? - Very well, how's Judith?
0:16:19 > 0:16:20Oh, she's wonderful.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Good. You're looking good, have you lost weight?
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Oh, you know, a bit of the old...
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Roar! It's true!
0:16:27 > 0:16:30We Vikings did discuss disputes in a Viking Parliament called
0:16:30 > 0:16:34an Althing, yes, we were more peaceful than you might think.
0:16:43 > 0:16:48# We Vikings have an awful reputation with your nation
0:16:48 > 0:16:52# But when we'd finished plundering and pillages...
0:16:53 > 0:16:54# Made nice villages
0:16:56 > 0:17:01# Any place name ending -thorpe or -kirk or -by was us, you see
0:17:01 > 0:17:05# Scunthorpe, Ormskirk, Wetherby, Scarborough fair,
0:17:05 > 0:17:08# We named them, yeah
0:17:09 > 0:17:14# We split your isles diagonally from south-east to north-west
0:17:14 > 0:17:20# Our section called the Danelaw, King Alfred ruled the rest
0:17:20 > 0:17:23# Think we're scary? No don't flee
0:17:23 > 0:17:25# Conquered Saxons would find we
0:17:25 > 0:17:28# Settled and lived in
0:17:28 > 0:17:30# Harmony
0:17:30 > 0:17:33# Vike-Eng-land
0:17:33 > 0:17:35# Though we began as raiders
0:17:35 > 0:17:38# So well-planned
0:17:38 > 0:17:40# You accepted us as traders
0:17:45 > 0:17:47# We introduced some new terms -
0:17:47 > 0:17:50# Husband, gasp, egg Awkward, nag, leg
0:17:50 > 0:17:54# More than 50 words to leave your lingo
0:17:54 > 0:17:58# To your liking, thank a Viking
0:17:58 > 0:18:00# Your little town of Swansea City
0:18:00 > 0:18:03# Named for our King Sweyn
0:18:03 > 0:18:06# Waterford and Dublin...
0:18:06 > 0:18:08# Us old Norse Vikings again
0:18:08 > 0:18:14# As farmers we made doubly sure to respect agriculture
0:18:14 > 0:18:19# With us, locals felt secure
0:18:19 > 0:18:21# Norse-Scot-land
0:18:21 > 0:18:24# Large parts of that whole region
0:18:24 > 0:18:27# Norse got land
0:18:27 > 0:18:29# Were improved by Norwegians
0:18:34 > 0:18:36# London Bridge is falling down
0:18:36 > 0:18:39# The nursery rhyme comes from our time
0:18:39 > 0:18:41# Vikings played key roles
0:18:41 > 0:18:47# In 1014 it was pulled down by Olaf Haraldsson
0:18:47 > 0:18:50# You can call him Ol
0:18:50 > 0:18:55# In a dispute with King Canute Olaf's side won
0:18:55 > 0:19:00# Ethelred returned as king and could be heard proclaiming
0:19:00 > 0:19:05# "Here's to you, Olaf Haraldsson"
0:19:05 > 0:19:08# Vike-Eng-land
0:19:08 > 0:19:10# We swapped our life of violence
0:19:10 > 0:19:13# Norse-Scot-land
0:19:13 > 0:19:16# To enjoy the sound of silence
0:19:16 > 0:19:21# There's no doubt under Viking rule Britain did improv-y
0:19:21 > 0:19:25# Feelin' groovy
0:19:28 > 0:19:33# And that's no lie La-lie, la, la, lie. #
0:19:44 > 0:19:46In order to get a divorce from his first wife,
0:19:46 > 0:19:50Catherine of Aragon, Henry VIII broke away from the Catholic church
0:19:50 > 0:19:53and that meant a big change for everyone.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57It's time to say goodbye to your Catholic religion.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59The Religious Switchover is coming to England.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02From 1534, you'll no longer be able to receive
0:20:02 > 0:20:04your religious services from the Pope.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07Instead you'll have to get them from King Henry VIII,
0:20:07 > 0:20:09Head of the all new Church of England.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11But don't worry, it's easy to convert.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13There are no forms to fill in.
0:20:13 > 0:20:14You can even keep your old Bible.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17But if you're a monk, you'll have to hand over everything of any value.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19What?
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Here's a monk before religious switchover.
0:20:21 > 0:20:22And here he is after.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25Actually, I think I might take the Bible as well.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Looks like it might be worth something.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29In fact the only difference you'll really notice
0:20:29 > 0:20:31is the King's now got a lovely new wife.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33And I'm quite a lot richer.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36As if I wasn't attractive enough already, eh, Anne?
0:20:36 > 0:20:40Hm. (FARTS) Oops, sorry about that, had rather a heavy lunch.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43Yes, switching really is that simple.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45Just tick the box that says you accept the supreme
0:20:45 > 0:20:48authority of the King and you'll be able to carry on as normal.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50But if, like Royal Councillor, Sir Thomas More,
0:20:50 > 0:20:53you refuse to acknowledge the new powers of the Church of England...
0:20:53 > 0:20:56Then you can just talk to one of our special advisors
0:20:56 > 0:20:59- about the other options available. - Er, ergh!
0:20:59 > 0:21:01So don't let your head get left behind!
0:21:01 > 0:21:03AXE THUDS
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Right, who's next?
0:21:05 > 0:21:09The great Religious Switchover is coming, are you ready?
0:21:09 > 0:21:14Did you know Anne Boleyn had a bird as her emblem, a white falcon.
0:21:14 > 0:21:18Though a headless chicken might have been more appropriate!
0:21:18 > 0:21:19Sorry.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24Young Henry VIII here demonstrating an early form of the pole vault.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27He was always up to mischief like this when he was younger.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Are you sure this is wise, Your Majesty?
0:21:29 > 0:21:32Oh, stop fussing, Wolsey. Keep filming, you.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34Right, I'm going to own this stream.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36You've got your run up, your jump...
0:21:36 > 0:21:39Yeah, and your plummet head-first into a muddy stream.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42Textbook, yeah, looks like he missed the other side by two feet.
0:21:42 > 0:21:43Yeah.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46Parting can be such sweet sorrow.
0:21:46 > 0:21:50It can be a pain, too, especially when you follow the Tudor
0:21:50 > 0:21:53tradition of throwing a shoe after the traveller.
0:21:53 > 0:21:54All right, love, steady on.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57It's good luck to throw one shoe, not hundreds!
0:21:57 > 0:22:00Join us after the break when Henry VIII nearly causes
0:22:00 > 0:22:04a diplomatic incident by shaving his beard off.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13In Georgian times, there were lots of great poets and authors
0:22:13 > 0:22:17like Jane Austen, Lord Byron and the brilliant Mary Shelley.
0:22:23 > 0:22:27Hello, my name's Mary Shelley and I have written a book that
0:22:27 > 0:22:28I believe would make a great movie.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Oh, please, don't waste our time.
0:22:30 > 0:22:34We had a woman in here called JK Rowling saying the same thing.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36We threw her out, she never worked again.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39Actually they made those movies, it's the most successful film series
0:22:39 > 0:22:41- of all time.- I love Lord Voldemort. I said his name!
0:22:41 > 0:22:44OK, maybe we should listen then. OK, shoot, Shelley Mary.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46- Mary Shelley.- Whatever.
0:22:46 > 0:22:50Right, I was spending the weekend with my soon-to-be-husband
0:22:50 > 0:22:51at a house in Lake Geneva
0:22:51 > 0:22:53in Switzerland as a guest of Lord Byron.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55- Uh-oh, name dropper!- Clang.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58I hate name droppers and so does my good friend, Brad Pitt.
0:22:58 > 0:22:59Brad Pitt!
0:22:59 > 0:23:02Well, anyway, er, a huge volcano had recently erupted
0:23:02 > 0:23:05in the Far East, causing freak weather and an ominous darkness
0:23:05 > 0:23:07across Europe, which was the perfect conditions
0:23:07 > 0:23:09for telling horror stories.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12I got a horror story for you - this meeting!
0:23:12 > 0:23:15No, no, one night we had a competition to see who could
0:23:15 > 0:23:19make up the scariest horror story, and one guest, Mr Polladory,
0:23:19 > 0:23:21came up with the first vampire story in English.
0:23:21 > 0:23:25But my story was even better than his story, so I called it
0:23:25 > 0:23:29the Modern Prometheus, or to call it it's more common name, Frankenstein.
0:23:31 > 0:23:32You wrote Frankenstein?
0:23:32 > 0:23:34- I am Frankenstein!- He's alive!
0:23:34 > 0:23:35You've heard my story?
0:23:35 > 0:23:37Your story has been made into a film already.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39Like about a zillion times.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42- There's, er, Frankenstein. - Frankenstein.- Frankenstein.
0:23:42 > 0:23:43- Young Frankenstein. - Bride of Frankenstein.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45- Count Duckula.- No, that's the other guy.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48You see, everyone is sick and tired of your monster, Frankenstein.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50Yeah, but my monster isn't called Frankenstein,
0:23:50 > 0:23:53that's the doctor's name - Victor Von Frankenstein.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56- So what's your monster called? - Voldemort... I said it again!
0:23:56 > 0:23:58It's Adam.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00- Adam?- Adam...the monster?
0:24:00 > 0:24:03- I'm not scared.- I'm not scared. - I'm a bit scared.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06Would it play as a romcom, Adam the friendly neighbourhood monster?
0:24:06 > 0:24:09Girls scream wherever he goes, I'm thinking Justin Bieber.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11Justin! Justin!
0:24:11 > 0:24:15Er, my book is a serious work of literature about man playing God,
0:24:15 > 0:24:18about the soul and, and this new exciting thing called electricity.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20You know the problem with your movie?
0:24:20 > 0:24:21- It frankenstinks.- It's a flopenstein.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24I don't have to put up with this actually.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26I'm leaving. You, you're all monsters.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29You'll never leave this castle!
0:24:29 > 0:24:31- Grrh.- Monsters, she's getting away!
0:24:31 > 0:24:34- Don't touch the suit.- Sorry.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48The answer is...all three.
0:24:48 > 0:24:52Byron also kept peacocks, geese and monkeys as pets.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55He was a strange man, pale, aristocratic,
0:24:55 > 0:24:58and interested in dark, gothic things.
0:24:58 > 0:24:59A bit like a vampire!
0:24:59 > 0:25:02When danger lurks in a world of darkness,
0:25:02 > 0:25:04it's right to be scared of the twilight.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Hello, is there anybody there?
0:25:09 > 0:25:12I'm looking for the house of the Lord Byron.
0:25:12 > 0:25:16Ah, close the curtains. The light, it hurts me.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18Lord Byron, you frightened me.
0:25:20 > 0:25:21- Good.- Oh!
0:25:21 > 0:25:24Is Lord Byron a creature of the night?
0:25:24 > 0:25:27Why - Lord Byron, you've turned into a wolf.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29No, it's an actual wolf.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31- Oh!- He's my pet.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Oh, that's so dangerous.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35He's called Lion.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37That's so stupid.
0:25:37 > 0:25:41In a time when life is short, can love last forever?
0:25:41 > 0:25:44Bite me and make me like you?
0:25:44 > 0:25:45Say it.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47I can't.
0:25:47 > 0:25:48Say it.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50A vampire!
0:25:51 > 0:25:53A what?
0:25:53 > 0:25:55No, no, a poet.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58But I thought, well, you know, you're pale, aristocratic,
0:25:58 > 0:26:00you drink from skulls, you're a vampire.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03No, I'm just a really pretentious poet.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05But you said the light hurts you?
0:26:05 > 0:26:07It does, it makes me look awful.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09I mean, I'm so overweight,
0:26:09 > 0:26:11I have to wear several waistcoats just to sweat the fat off.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13Oh!
0:26:13 > 0:26:16- You're not exactly an oil painting yourself, love.- Rude!
0:26:16 > 0:26:20Twit Light, the dark and mysterious story of Lord Byron.
0:26:20 > 0:26:24It's been, er, lovely meeting you, must do it again sometime,
0:26:24 > 0:26:26maybe next year.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29- Don't want to stick around for the poetry?- No.- Yeah.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32Warning, some scenes may contain romantic poetry, crammy.
0:26:32 > 0:26:39And let thy gentle fingers fling its melting murmurs o'er mine ear.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42WOLVES HOWL
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Everyone's a critic, aren't they?
0:26:44 > 0:26:45# Tall tales, atrocious acts
0:26:45 > 0:26:47# We gave you all the fearsome facts... #
0:26:47 > 0:26:50Can't get enough of Horrible Histories?
0:26:50 > 0:26:53Then go to the CBBC website and click on the link.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55See you there!
0:26:55 > 0:26:58# The past is no longer a mystery
0:26:58 > 0:27:02# Hope you enjoyed Horrible Histories. #