0:00:00 > 0:00:02# Terrible Tudors Gorgeous Georgians
0:00:02 > 0:00:05- # Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians - Woeful wars, ferocious fights
0:00:05 > 0:00:08- # Dingy castles, daring knights - Horrors that defy description
0:00:08 > 0:00:11- # Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians - Vicious Vikings, cruel crime
0:00:11 > 0:00:14- # Punishments from ancient times - Roman, rotten, rank and ruthless
0:00:14 > 0:00:15# Cavemen savage Fierce and toothless
0:00:15 > 0:00:18- # Groovy Greeks, brainy sages - # Mean and measley Middle Ages
0:00:18 > 0:00:20# Gory stories, we do that
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# And your host a talking rat
0:00:23 > 0:00:26# The past is no longer a mystery
0:00:26 > 0:00:31# Welcome to Horrible Histories #
0:00:38 > 0:00:43- Oh, hello. Are you a searcher for the dead?- Yes, I am indeed. Yes.
0:00:43 > 0:00:47- Could I be your apprentice, please? - Um. Yeah, I don't see why not. Yeah.
0:00:47 > 0:00:52- Oh, great. I hear it pays well.- Yeah. You get a four-pence finders' fee
0:00:52 > 0:00:54for every plague victim you identify.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56There's a lot of plague victims out there.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59- Yes.- Business has never been better, really.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01How do you spot a plague victim?
0:01:01 > 0:01:04You're just looking for a big, nasty plague sore, you know.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07What, you mean like that one there?
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Yeah, a bit like that one. Yeah.
0:01:12 > 0:01:16He's dead. He's dead from plague.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19This is easy. I've never...
0:01:19 > 0:01:21Are you a searcher for the dead?
0:01:21 > 0:01:24I am now. I just spotted my first deadie.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26Oh, yes. Can I be your apprentice, please?
0:01:26 > 0:01:29- I don't see why not. - I hear it's well paid.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Yes. You get a four-pence finder's fee...
0:01:34 > 0:01:37I've got four pence. I've got four pence.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Excuse me. Are you a searcher for the dead?
0:01:40 > 0:01:42I might be. Uh!
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Well, you get the idea.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50The plague was so serious that public meeting places
0:01:50 > 0:01:53including the new Stuart coffee houses were closed down
0:01:53 > 0:01:55to stop it spreading.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58Ten years later, Charles II wanted them closed down again
0:01:58 > 0:02:00for another reason altogether.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04- Good morning.- Hello.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06I'd like a cup of coffee, please.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09- What kind of coffee would you like, Sir?- Er, what kinds do you have?
0:02:09 > 0:02:12Well, we've got coffee...
0:02:12 > 0:02:14OK, what sizes do you do?
0:02:14 > 0:02:17Well, we do standard...
0:02:17 > 0:02:19One standard-sized coffee then, please.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Good choice, coming right up.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24Not so fast. Step away from the coffee, please, Sir.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27- I'm sorry?- King Charles II has just had coffee houses banned.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30He seems to think people only go to coffee houses
0:02:30 > 0:02:33to plot against the monarchy and write rebellious poetry.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35I still need something hot, what else have you got?
0:02:35 > 0:02:37- I could do you a tea?- That'll do me.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39That plan wasn't rebellious, but it was criminal.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41It's OK to serve tea then?
0:02:41 > 0:02:45I suppose so, but coffee houses are banned. Do I make myself clear?
0:02:45 > 0:02:47- Yes.- I'll see you tomorrow then.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49- All right, see you tomorrow, Frank. - Love to Gina.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Righty-ho! What kind of tea would you like?
0:02:52 > 0:02:54- What kind do you have?- Got tea...
0:02:55 > 0:02:57One standard-sized cup of tea, please.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00Very good, Sir. What's your name? I'll just write it on this mug.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02I'm the only person in the shop.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04The only person in the shop.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Squeak, squeak...
0:03:07 > 0:03:09You're making that noise with your mouth.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12- That'll be a month's salary, please. - For a cup of tea?
0:03:12 > 0:03:13It doesn't grow on trees!
0:03:13 > 0:03:14Well, it does grow on bushes.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17But it still has to be shipped from a very long way away.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19I just want a hot beverage.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Well, you'll be pleased to hear that King Charles has changed his mind
0:03:22 > 0:03:24and lifted the ban on coffee houses.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26He was worried it might make him unpopular.
0:03:26 > 0:03:30And we all know what happened to his dad when he became unpopular.
0:03:30 > 0:03:34Well, tell the King he's very smart and in no way at all a silly old...
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Don't push your luck.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Farmer.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52Hi, I'm a gorgeous Roman scientist and I'm going to tell you
0:03:52 > 0:03:55about the wonders of the ancient Roman universe. It's amazing!
0:03:55 > 0:03:59We Roman scientists perfected complex architectural aids
0:03:59 > 0:04:01like concrete and arches, and that meant
0:04:01 > 0:04:04we could make buildings with vast domes, like the Pantheon in Rome,
0:04:04 > 0:04:07that lasted thousands of years. Imagine that!
0:04:07 > 0:04:10Not four, not three, not 12 - thousands of years.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13And we understood how the universe worked too.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16It was Julius Caesar who decided that a year would last 365 days,
0:04:16 > 0:04:19with an extra day every four years for a leap year.
0:04:19 > 0:04:24Yeah, THAT Julius Caesar. No wonder Cleopatra fancied him. Amazing!
0:04:24 > 0:04:27And we knew all about Mercury and Neptune and Venus and Saturn
0:04:27 > 0:04:30and Uranus and Mars and Pluto and Jupiter.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33- Really?- Yeah. - That's actually quite impressive.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35You knew all about planets.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Yeah, but they're not just planets, they're all gods.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40Giant beings, who played games deciding the fate
0:04:40 > 0:04:42of everyone in the world.
0:04:42 > 0:04:43It's ancient Roman scientific fact.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Brian, it always starts so well, doesn't it?
0:04:45 > 0:04:48Luckily, we can work out what the gods are planning
0:04:48 > 0:04:50by cutting open animals and looking at their insides.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52It's how we predict the future.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54All right, if we could just, erm...
0:04:54 > 0:04:56There's one bloke called a Haruspex, who cut open a chicken
0:04:56 > 0:05:00to find out what Saturn, the God of Agriculture, is planning.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03It's ancient Roman scientific fact. Amazing!
0:05:05 > 0:05:08It's true. We Romans used to slice open animals.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11But that wasn't the only way we could predict the future.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14Argh! Didn't see that coming. Ironic.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Men of Rome. Today is a day of glory.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21For today we shall fight the Carthaginians
0:05:21 > 0:05:26and we shall be victorious.
0:05:26 > 0:05:27ALL: Hooray!
0:05:27 > 0:05:30But do not take my word for it, listen to the pronouncements
0:05:30 > 0:05:32of she who has been blessed by the gods
0:05:32 > 0:05:34with the power to see the future.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37All hail the sacred chicken!
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Hai...! Did you just say chicken?
0:05:39 > 0:05:42I will feed seed to the chicken
0:05:42 > 0:05:45and, by her actions, we will know our fate.
0:05:45 > 0:05:51If the sacred chicken eats the seed, then we shall be victorious.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54ALL: Hooray!
0:05:54 > 0:05:58What happens if, erm, the chicken doesn't eat the seed?
0:05:58 > 0:06:01Trust me, she will.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05Oh, sacred chicken. Show us our fate.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10I thought I told you to starve her for a few days?
0:06:10 > 0:06:12I did, I think she might be a bit seasick.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14The sacred chicken has spoken, we're doomed!
0:06:14 > 0:06:17ALL: Argh.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Men, I pray you, do not let your warrior spirit
0:06:19 > 0:06:22be downcast by a non-hungry hen.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25No, it's no good, sir, they're panicking, what are we going to do?
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Right, take this.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30No, da, da, da...
0:06:30 > 0:06:34Right. Clearly, the chicken was not hungry.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37But maybe she is thirsty.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Look, she is drinking.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42- She is drowning.- OK, granted, she is drinking quite a lot.
0:06:42 > 0:06:47He's killed the sacred chicken. We're even more doomed than before.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50No! I have a plan.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Don't do it, I will pay you not to do it.
0:06:53 > 0:06:54- Don't do...- Cluck, cluck...
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Oh!
0:06:58 > 0:07:00I am a sacred chicken.
0:07:01 > 0:07:05When the sacred chicken was thrown into the sea,
0:07:05 > 0:07:08the crew panicked and the Romans lost the battle.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11I often use chickens to predict the future myself. Yeah.
0:07:11 > 0:07:15If I eat a whole one, I predict I'll have a stomach ache.
0:07:22 > 0:07:27Welcome to Middle Ages Antiques Roadshow at Caernarfon Castle.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30Hundreds of people have come down here
0:07:30 > 0:07:33to see if they're sitting on a small fortune.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36So, let's find out what our expert, Martin Ballpark,
0:07:36 > 0:07:39has made of today's offerings.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42And the first thing that has caught his eye
0:07:42 > 0:07:44is a rather curious Middle Ages metalloid.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Now, it looks like lead, doesn't it?
0:07:47 > 0:07:51If I'm not much mistaken, it is in fact antimony, am I right?
0:07:51 > 0:07:53You are, that's quite correct, yes.
0:07:53 > 0:07:58I thought as much. Now antimony is a well-known Middle Ages disease cure.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00- Mm-hm.- It's very rare. It's much sought-after.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03- Mm-hm.- So, it's actually worth a lot of money.
0:08:03 > 0:08:04I was hoping you'd say that.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07How long's it been in the family, John?
0:08:07 > 0:08:08In total, it's hard to say.
0:08:08 > 0:08:12It's been in my grandparents a few times, my parents too,
0:08:12 > 0:08:14and it's just been inside me.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Sorry, erm...
0:08:16 > 0:08:19See, the great thing about antimony is it doesn't dissolve in the gut,
0:08:19 > 0:08:22so, once you've swallowed it, you can just rummage through your poo
0:08:22 > 0:08:25to find it and use it again. Are you OK?
0:08:25 > 0:08:26I feel a bit sick actually.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29Do you want to borrow some of my antimony?
0:08:29 > 0:08:33Just make sure you give it back when it comes out the other end, please.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35- That's an antique. - I'll be the judge of that!
0:08:35 > 0:08:38Oh, Martin, but here he is with the next hopeful,
0:08:38 > 0:08:41who's brought along an intriguing Middle Ages concoction.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43So, what have you got for me?
0:08:43 > 0:08:45I've brought some gold.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Get the hands dirty, shall we?
0:08:47 > 0:08:49And the gold's in here, is it?
0:08:49 > 0:08:51No. No, that is the gold.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Or rather, it should be, it's an old monk's recipe
0:08:53 > 0:08:56for making gold, but I've put the chicken's eggs
0:08:56 > 0:08:58in with the rotting dung for ages
0:08:58 > 0:09:01and it doesn't seem to have turned into gold yet. Weird!
0:09:04 > 0:09:05Not again.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08- Are you sure you don't want to borrow some of my anti...?- No.
0:09:10 > 0:09:11So sorry, everyone.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17Antimony is actually a toxic metal, which makes you sick
0:09:17 > 0:09:19and gives you diarrhoea.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21The people of the Middle Ages swallowed it
0:09:21 > 0:09:24because they thought it got rid of the bad stuff inside you.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Hm. Like the, erm, toxic metal, for instance.
0:09:27 > 0:09:31In the Middle Ages, they also believed in magic.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35It's the Middle Ages Magic Set for all the family.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Three great tricks in one box.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40Amaze your family by turning water into wine.
0:09:40 > 0:09:45Look, a glass of water, then I simply add the secret ingredient.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51Ta-dah!
0:09:51 > 0:09:54Wow, how did you do that?
0:09:54 > 0:09:55It's magic.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Well, erm, no, it's not.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59The bread she used was soaked in strong red wine.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02I can make the apple move all by itself.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06With a bit of help from a beetle hidden inside the apple.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Brilliant! Oh, oh, that is rotten,
0:10:08 > 0:10:10got a bit of beetle in there as well.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13And best of all, you can learn how to make an egg fly.
0:10:13 > 0:10:17Wow! That's magic.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Or has he just tied a very long hair round the egg?
0:10:20 > 0:10:22It's all here in the instruction book,
0:10:22 > 0:10:24and there's loads more tricks too.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28The people who came up with them must be amazing magicians.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Actually, they're not magicians at all. They're monks.
0:10:31 > 0:10:32No, I'm sorry, cut.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35When we wrote the book, we didn't intend for people to have fun.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37It was meant to be a serious expose
0:10:37 > 0:10:40of con artistes in the Medieval world,
0:10:40 > 0:10:42not a manual for doing magic tricks.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46Oh, what is that smell? Have you done one?
0:10:46 > 0:10:48It's your egg, mate. You want to put a fresh one in your box
0:10:48 > 0:10:51when you sell your... Great magic tricks.
0:10:54 > 0:10:58No, not that, not that. We wrote it to stop people doing them.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Right, what's going on here?
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Did you write the book of magic tricks
0:11:02 > 0:11:06that teaches people how to turn water into wine and make eggs float?
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Yes, and I was just explaining to these good people
0:11:09 > 0:11:12that we were attempting to show people how these tricks
0:11:12 > 0:11:14- are used in...- Witchcraft.
0:11:14 > 0:11:15Yes, exactly.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18- Right, take him away, have him hanged.- What?
0:11:18 > 0:11:21New Middle Ages Magic Set... Well, sort of.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Warning - performing magic tricks in the Middle Ages
0:11:23 > 0:11:25could get you executed.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27- Right, what's going on here?- Nothing.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Just hanging out with the family, just sitting.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33You guffed? It smells very eggy in here.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36You might want to think about opening a window.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44The last major battle of the War Of The Roses
0:11:44 > 0:11:48was the famous Battle Of Bosworth Field between King Richard III
0:11:48 > 0:11:50and Henry Tudor, who was after his crown.
0:11:50 > 0:11:55Powerful nobleman Lord Stanley found himself stuck in the middle.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58Gentlemen, your actions on this day
0:11:58 > 0:12:00will change the course of history itself.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03For this battle here, on this humble Bosworth field,
0:12:03 > 0:12:06will decide whether the Crown of England
0:12:06 > 0:12:09is to remain with Richard III and the House of York,
0:12:09 > 0:12:13or is to be taken by the young Lancastrian, Henry Tudor.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15So, let us fight.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20My Lord, er, just one tiny thing.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Erm, which side are we actually on?
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Ah, well, I haven't entirely decided yet,
0:12:25 > 0:12:27but, the second I do, I'll let you know.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30Right, it's just that the battle's already started
0:12:30 > 0:12:33and it would be really handy tactic-wise
0:12:33 > 0:12:35to know which way to charge.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38My head says Richard III's the favourite, right?
0:12:38 > 0:12:41And we do have quite a long history.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43I held the mace at his coronation.
0:12:43 > 0:12:47He made me Lord High Constable of England.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50I've literally lost track of the amount of land he's given me,
0:12:50 > 0:12:52it's embarrassing.
0:12:52 > 0:12:56Men, we fight for the House of York, on my mark.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59But there's a lot to be said for the plucky underdog, isn't there?
0:12:59 > 0:13:04And Henry Tudor's royal bloodline does stretch back to Edward III.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07Let's not forget I am married to his mum.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09If I side with the other guy,
0:13:09 > 0:13:12well, imagine how awkward Christmas is going to be.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14No, thank you, sir.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Very good, my lord. House of Lancaster it is.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20- Men, on my mark.- But..
0:13:20 > 0:13:23Oh! My lord, we must make a decision.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26- All right, all right, all right, all right.- Let's toss a coin.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Heads, King Richard, because, um, well, his head's on it.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34Or... We could just see which side looks like they're going to win
0:13:34 > 0:13:37and then just sort of join them.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39Actually that sounds like a pretty good plan.
0:13:39 > 0:13:43The House of Lancaster's looking a pretty good bet to me.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Right then, we side with Henry Tudor.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Very good, my lord, charge!
0:13:51 > 0:13:55No, no, not that way, not that way. No, they're on our side.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13The answer is...
0:14:13 > 0:14:17C. His grave was recently discovered under a car park in Leicester.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19When Richard died, Henry VII took over
0:14:19 > 0:14:22and became the first King of the Tudor dynasty.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Take it away, Henry.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27Of all the kings called Henry, I'm the one you've rarely heard.
0:14:27 > 0:14:31Shakespeare wrote IV, V, VI, VIII - but VII, not a word.
0:14:31 > 0:14:35People think I'm dreary. To some extent I am.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37But look a little closer.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40# Glam, bam, thank you, mam!
0:14:47 > 0:14:50# I didn't agree with King Richard III
0:14:50 > 0:14:54# So, I fought him at Bosworth Field and won victory
0:14:54 > 0:14:56# How cool does this sound?
0:14:56 > 0:14:58# I'm the king who found
0:14:58 > 0:15:02# Rich's crown in a hedge on the winning battleground
0:15:02 > 0:15:06# The only way to end war and avert further disaster
0:15:06 > 0:15:10# There's got to be a way to unite York and Lancaster
0:15:10 > 0:15:14# I'm the original Tu-Tu-Tu-Tudor
0:15:14 > 0:15:18# Founder of that dynasty
0:15:18 > 0:15:21# The man who closes the Wars Of The Roses
0:15:21 > 0:15:24# That's right That's right, that's me
0:15:28 > 0:15:31# I launched attacks On lords who earned stacks
0:15:31 > 0:15:35# Mine was a noble cause to tap them all for tax
0:15:35 > 0:15:39# They paid their share Was only fair
0:15:39 > 0:15:43# To make England rich And me a millionaire
0:15:43 > 0:15:47# Elizabeth York became my wife for life, that make me a bore?
0:15:47 > 0:15:51# Joined our family seat That's neat, made my rule secure
0:15:51 > 0:15:55# I'm the original Tu-Tu-Tu-Tudor
0:15:55 > 0:15:58# Returning power to the state
0:15:58 > 0:16:00# Seemed quite toothless
0:16:00 > 0:16:02# But actually ruthless
0:16:02 > 0:16:04# I make the monarchy great
0:16:08 > 0:16:10# Spent a long time fighting
0:16:10 > 0:16:12# Pretenders to the throne
0:16:12 > 0:16:13# Lambert Simnel and Perkin Warbeck
0:16:13 > 0:16:15# Said my throne was their own
0:16:15 > 0:16:17# They claimed they'd been princes
0:16:17 > 0:16:19# In the Tower, their rule delayed
0:16:19 > 0:16:22# I said "This crown ain't big enough for the three of us"
0:16:22 > 0:16:24# And had one slayed
0:16:24 > 0:16:27# I'm the original Tu-Tu-Tu-Tudor
0:16:27 > 0:16:31# King of foreign policy
0:16:31 > 0:16:35# To end hostile relations With enemy nations
0:16:35 > 0:16:38# I asked them to make friends with me
0:16:39 > 0:16:43# Yeah, the original Tu-Tu-Tu-Tudor
0:16:43 > 0:16:46# They say dullness's my main trait
0:16:46 > 0:16:49# Well, that's a sad indictment
0:16:49 > 0:16:51# Cos if you're looking for excitement
0:16:51 > 0:16:55# My son was Henry VIII. #
0:17:02 > 0:17:04This week on Historical Wife Swap,
0:17:04 > 0:17:07these Egyptian peasants will be doing the wife swap with...
0:17:07 > 0:17:11Pharaoh Ramesses II and his wife, Nefertari.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14So, how will these different ancient Egyptian couples get on?
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Oh! Who are you?
0:17:16 > 0:17:19- Mrs Pharaoh. - Shouldn't you be at my house?
0:17:19 > 0:17:23Mrs Pharaoh is at your house, I'm Mrs Pharaoh number two.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Ramesses II's got six wives.
0:17:25 > 0:17:26A bit greedy.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29And 200 girlfriends.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32I am the great Pharaoh Bon of Rah, chosen of Rah,
0:17:32 > 0:17:36for powerful is the truth of Rah, half king, half god,
0:17:36 > 0:17:42master of all I survey, Ramesses II, glory be to my name. And you are...?
0:17:43 > 0:17:44Susan.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47An honour for you to meet me.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51So, what will Nefertari, the Pharaoh's number one wife,
0:17:51 > 0:17:53make of Mr Peasant?
0:17:53 > 0:17:57- Oh, Your Majesty.- Get up, peasant, but don't look at me.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00Oh, what's that terrible smell?
0:18:00 > 0:18:02It could be me, Your Majesty. I've been dragging
0:18:02 > 0:18:06two-ton boulders round the desert to help build your husband's temple.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09No, you do stink, peasant, but it's much worse than that.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12Oh, it could be the gazelle dung I've put on the floor.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Oh! Why on earth would you do that?
0:18:14 > 0:18:17- Keeps the rats away from food.- Rats!
0:18:17 > 0:18:19Or, it could be the walls, they're made of manure,
0:18:19 > 0:18:21and the Nile flooded the hut last month,
0:18:21 > 0:18:24so they're still a bit, how shall I put it, sweaty.
0:18:24 > 0:18:29- I can tell I'm going to just love it here.- Great.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31Meanwhile, over at the palace, it's dinner time.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Here, peasant, try one of these.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35What is it, my Pharaoh?
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Locust in honey.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39That's delicious.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41I feel I'm going to grab an early night.
0:18:41 > 0:18:46I have to be up before the sun comes up. Well, obviously I do.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48I'm the one who gets the sun up.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53I done a joke. BOTH: LAUGH
0:18:53 > 0:18:56That's more like it.
0:18:56 > 0:18:57You won't believe this,
0:18:57 > 0:19:03the royal palace has got beds with comfy pillows made of stone.
0:19:03 > 0:19:07And a sort of seat thing that you sit on to go to toilet.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09What will they think of next?
0:19:09 > 0:19:11And it's also dinner time in the peasant hut.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13Ow!
0:19:13 > 0:19:16Sorry, Your Majesty, we do get a lot of mosquitoes,
0:19:16 > 0:19:18that's the downside of living near the Nile.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20The plus side is that the Nile floods,
0:19:20 > 0:19:23so the soil here is very fertile.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25And when it does flood, we farmers get a few months off
0:19:25 > 0:19:29to go to the desert and drag around two-ton boulders for the Pharaoh.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32Ow! Well, at least it gets you away from all these mosquitoes.
0:19:32 > 0:19:36And nearer the deadly scorpions!
0:19:36 > 0:19:39- Do you not want your onion? - Don't look at me.- Sorry.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41You're not going to believe where I had to sleep.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44On some straw on the floor. Yes, that's right.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46On the floor with all the gazelle poop.
0:19:47 > 0:19:51I swear I've got nits. Oh! Oh!
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Oh, look, look, there's one.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56I'll have to throw this wig away.
0:19:56 > 0:19:57The wife swap is at an end.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59And it's time for the royal couple
0:19:59 > 0:20:01and the peasant couple to discuss their experiences.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04I understand you've been helping build my temple,
0:20:04 > 0:20:07the Ramessium. What an honour for you.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09How looks the 19-metre statue of me?
0:20:09 > 0:20:11Oh, it is magnificent, Pharaoh.
0:20:11 > 0:20:15Although not as impressive as the real thing.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18Ah, your work is done! But I have some good news for you.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21I would like you to build another massive temple alongside
0:20:21 > 0:20:24for my favourite wife.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27Oh, Romy baby, that's so sweet.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30Oh, you want one too, do you?
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Don't book any holidays.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35- We did actually discuss this, Romy. - Did we? I don't remember.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38- Well, you had a lot of palm wine to drink.- Well, you don't speak up.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Do you think we can get up now, love?
0:20:40 > 0:20:42- I wouldn't risk it.- No.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46Queen Nefertari suffered from alopecia, so she wore a wig.
0:20:46 > 0:20:51Expensive Egyptian wigs were made of 120,000 human hairs
0:20:51 > 0:20:54held in place by beeswax.
0:20:54 > 0:20:58Is that a wig, Your Majesty? "Oh! Mind your own beeswax."
0:21:04 > 0:21:08One of the most famous Victorian inventors was Alexander Graham Bell,
0:21:08 > 0:21:11who came up with the telephone - ring a bell?
0:21:11 > 0:21:17But his design was to be improved by American inventor Thomas Edison.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Good day to you.
0:21:19 > 0:21:20Mr Edison, telephone for you.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23Thank you. What does it even mean?
0:21:23 > 0:21:26No, I bought you a telephone, it's a new invention
0:21:26 > 0:21:29by this guy, Alexander Graham Bell. I thought it might interest you.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31It ties in nicely with the experiments we're doing
0:21:31 > 0:21:33- on the transmission of sound.- Really?
0:21:33 > 0:21:37It allows you to talk to somebody down a cable.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39You can talk to somebody in a different room
0:21:39 > 0:21:42and, maybe, who knows, one day in a different building.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45Extraordinary! Well, can we try it?
0:21:45 > 0:21:46Of course! But Mr Bell insists
0:21:46 > 0:21:48that we use the official telephone greeting.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50- Which is?- Ahoy-hoy.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52As the caller, I have to say, "Ahoy-hoy" to you,
0:21:52 > 0:21:54you say, "Ahoy-hoy" back,
0:21:54 > 0:21:57- that way we know we're receiving each other.- Understood.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00Are you ready, sir?
0:22:00 > 0:22:02- Oh, yes, indeed.- Here we go.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05- Ahoy-hoy.- Hello.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08No, sir, you have to say, "Ahoy-hoy" back to me.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Yes, I was just shocked that it actually worked,
0:22:10 > 0:22:13so the Victorian expression of surprise crept out.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15"Hello", as in, "wow"!
0:22:15 > 0:22:18- Shall we try it again?- Yeah!
0:22:18 > 0:22:20- Ahoy-hoy.- Hello.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22- Hello, you said it again. - So did you.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Well, I was surprised that you said it again.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26Well, I'm still surprised it works.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Hm. OK, sir, shall we try it one more time?
0:22:28 > 0:22:31- Ahoy-hoy.- Hello.
0:22:31 > 0:22:32Hello. You just said hello.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35Of course I said "hello", I was surprised that you said "ahoy-hoy",
0:22:35 > 0:22:37I thought I was going to say "ahoy-hoy" first,
0:22:37 > 0:22:40and then you said "ahoy-hoy". That's why I said hello.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42- Hello.- Ah! Sir, you have to...
0:22:42 > 0:22:44It doesn't matter. I'm going to take these away.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46No, wait, I was just getting the hang of it.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48In fact, I think I can improve on the design.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50I very much doubt it, sir,
0:22:50 > 0:22:53you cannot even grasp the official telephone greeting.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56Imagine a world where people say into the telephone,
0:22:56 > 0:22:59"Hello." Goodbye.
0:23:00 > 0:23:04Hello. Hello, I think I have a problem.
0:23:04 > 0:23:08Another Victorian invention was photography.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11Say, "Cheese", I always do.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15You! Kiss goodbye to time-consuming painting,
0:23:15 > 0:23:17because photography is here.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20- What?- Yes, and we've got everything you need to know
0:23:20 > 0:23:23in our new Photographic Monthly Chronicle.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25Hello, I'm Henry Fox Talbot,
0:23:25 > 0:23:29one of the great Victorian pioneers of photography.
0:23:29 > 0:23:34And, with my handy tips, you'll be able to take photographs like this.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37And this. And even this.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39With exposure times of several minutes,
0:23:39 > 0:23:42best opt for an expression you can easily keep up.
0:23:42 > 0:23:46That's why we Victorians looked so miserable in photos.
0:23:46 > 0:23:50And, remember, whatever you do, don't try and maintain a smile.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53I'm Prince Albert, I can smile if I like.
0:23:53 > 0:23:57As you like, Your Highness. OK, hold it.
0:23:57 > 0:24:02- Hah.- Just hold it there. - It's starting to hurt.- Shh.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04And we've got all the very latest accessories.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06These rigid neck irons and body braces
0:24:06 > 0:24:09make movement blurs a thing of the past, don't they?
0:24:09 > 0:24:11He's trying to nod.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14And subscribe now to receive a voucher for a free photo session
0:24:14 > 0:24:17with a recently deceased loved one of your choice.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20Well, being photographed with a dead relative is the latest craze,
0:24:20 > 0:24:22isn't it, darling?
0:24:22 > 0:24:25"Yes, it is, and I love you." Oh, darling.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29So, get your copy of Photographic Monthly Chronicle today,
0:24:29 > 0:24:32the pastime with Royal approval.
0:24:32 > 0:24:35- I hurt so much. - I did say not to smile.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37I've started now, yeah?
0:24:41 > 0:24:44Words we get from the Stone Age.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47What? Words we get from the Stone Age? Well, that's ridiculous.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50How many words could we possibly get from the Stone Age?
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Really, what are they?
0:24:52 > 0:24:55Well, make up your mind.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58Oh, I see you're an idiot.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00You.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03No, not me, you.
0:25:03 > 0:25:07You know what, I'm an idiot for even trying to talk to you.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10Yes, we're both idiots.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Wait a second...
0:25:16 > 0:25:19All actual words that date back to the Stone Age.
0:25:19 > 0:25:23Amazing! Maybe you early men weren't so dumb after all.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Oh!
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Oh, no. I was right the first time.
0:25:28 > 0:25:33Not only did we invent words, we invented the idea of having a home.
0:25:33 > 0:25:38For the first time, we Stone Age people settled in one place.
0:25:39 > 0:25:43Hello, and welcome to A Historical Place In The Sun.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46The show where we find people who want a place in the sun,
0:25:46 > 0:25:49a place in the sun.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51This week, I'm joined by Carl and Natalie,
0:25:51 > 0:25:55two hardworking Mesolithic hunters looking for a place in the sun.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57So, guys, what kind of home are you after?
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Erm, we're not really sure what, erm...
0:26:00 > 0:26:02- What "home" mean?- Yeah.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05OK, a home is somewhere you live, it's a permanent dwelling.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07Permabum dwelling?
0:26:07 > 0:26:09We don't have "home".
0:26:09 > 0:26:12Er, we move from cave to cave, find best hunting.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15Right, well, hopefully, I'll be able to show you somewhere
0:26:15 > 0:26:18that will encourage you to get on the property ladder.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20Probably ladder?
0:26:20 > 0:26:21This is going to take a while.
0:26:21 > 0:26:25I'm taking Carl and Natalie to see Star Carr -
0:26:25 > 0:26:28a brand-new development on the shore of Lake Flickston
0:26:28 > 0:26:29in North Yorkshire.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32So, first impressions, guys?
0:26:32 > 0:26:35Why cave not in cliff face?
0:26:35 > 0:26:37Oh, this isn't a cave, this is a house.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40Instead of being constrained by the location of caves,
0:26:40 > 0:26:43you can simply pick where you want to live and put your house there.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45These babies were the first in Europe
0:26:45 > 0:26:48and I think they're going to spread like wildfire.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51My uncle die in wildfire.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53I'm so sorry, I didn't know.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56Star Carr's beautiful lakeside location
0:26:56 > 0:26:58and purpose-built wooden quay
0:26:58 > 0:27:02means residents can enjoy a wide range of water sports,
0:27:02 > 0:27:04including harpoon fishing and...
0:27:04 > 0:27:07harpoon fishing.
0:27:07 > 0:27:11And the surrounding countryside is perfect for hunting.
0:27:11 > 0:27:15Hedgehog. A Mesolithic delicacy, so I'm led to believe.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21So, guys, what do you think of Star Carr?
0:27:21 > 0:27:25- Well, we like it.- And it would be nice to have a permabum base.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27But stay forever, too long.
0:27:27 > 0:27:30Well, that's the great thing about Star Carr,
0:27:30 > 0:27:32it's only inhabited for half the year,
0:27:32 > 0:27:34so you're only looking at a six-month commitment.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36- In that case, we'll take it. - We'll take it.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38Wonderful.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41So, there you have it, Mesolithic hunters Carl and Natalie
0:27:41 > 0:27:43have abandoned cave-dwelling
0:27:43 > 0:27:46in favour of a new home here at Star Carr.
0:27:46 > 0:27:50We found another couple their place in the sun.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52It's about that, there doesn't seem to be much sun, does there?
0:27:52 > 0:27:55It's Yorkshire, what do you expect? It's Yorkshire.
0:27:59 > 0:28:01Can't get enough of Horrible Histories?
0:28:01 > 0:28:04Then go to the CBBC Website and click on the link.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06See you there!
0:28:06 > 0:28:09Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd