0:00:02 > 0:00:04# Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians fighting Frenchmen, vile Victorians
0:00:04 > 0:00:07# Woeful wars, ferocious fights Dingy castles, daring knights
0:00:07 > 0:00:09# Horrors that defy description Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians
0:00:09 > 0:00:12# Smashing Saxons, cruel crimes Punishment from ancient times
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless Normans, savage, fierce and toothless
0:00:15 > 0:00:18# Civil Wars, brainy sages Mean and measly Middle Ages
0:00:18 > 0:00:20# Gory stories, we do that
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# And your host, a drumming rat
0:00:23 > 0:00:26# The past is no longer a mystery
0:00:26 > 0:00:27# Welcome to...
0:00:27 > 0:00:31# Horrible Histories. #
0:00:33 > 0:00:36Horrible Histories presents...
0:00:36 > 0:00:39Savage Songs.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42Hello, viewers. Rat is the superstar here.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45All right, I'm not a superstar yet. I'm more of a sewer star.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47RAT LAUGHS
0:00:47 > 0:00:51I want to be famous and filthy rich. I mean, how hard can it be?
0:00:51 > 0:00:54These days, you just need to get on one of those talent shows
0:00:54 > 0:00:56and strut your furry stuff.
0:00:56 > 0:00:57But in the olden days,
0:00:57 > 0:01:01being a super star was all about being a leader and a fighter
0:01:01 > 0:01:03and the biggest kid on the block,
0:01:03 > 0:01:06and they don't come much bigger than Mr Big himself -
0:01:06 > 0:01:11Henry VIII, who was king of England 500 years ago.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14His track is called A Little More Reformation.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16It's about taking over the church
0:01:16 > 0:01:19and pocketing all the money for himself,
0:01:19 > 0:01:20the big bully.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23And a-one, and a-two, and a-one, two, three, four.
0:01:33 > 0:01:37# A little more reformation, a lot less monasteries
0:01:37 > 0:01:41# Wanna get my hands on all that money, please
0:01:41 > 0:01:43# A little less Pope, a lot more king
0:01:43 > 0:01:45# I sure do hope to grab that bling
0:01:45 > 0:01:49# Cos war with France is what will satisfy me
0:01:49 > 0:01:52# And that is sure is pricey
0:01:52 > 0:01:56# Passed a law so the Pope's been banned
0:01:56 > 0:02:00# Now I'm top dog in the Church of England
0:02:00 > 0:02:02# It's going swell
0:02:02 > 0:02:04# I ain't got the blues
0:02:04 > 0:02:06# Unless you count my jousting bruise
0:02:06 > 0:02:09# Got rid of Anne, her head to lose
0:02:09 > 0:02:11# To get my kicks at 36
0:02:11 > 0:02:13# I'm up to my old violent tricks
0:02:13 > 0:02:15# If the church is mine, so is this...
0:02:15 > 0:02:17# They're about to find that I play rough
0:02:17 > 0:02:21# A little more reformation, a lot less monasteries
0:02:21 > 0:02:25# Wanna get my hands on all that money, please
0:02:25 > 0:02:27# A little more king, a lot less nuns
0:02:27 > 0:02:30# I'll sell their land to buy more guns
0:02:30 > 0:02:33# Cos war with France is what will satisfy me
0:02:33 > 0:02:36# And that sure is pricey
0:02:36 > 0:02:40# For the church, this won't end well
0:02:40 > 0:02:44# I'm sending in my man Cromwell
0:02:44 > 0:02:48# With suspicious minds and a pack of lies
0:02:48 > 0:02:50# He'll ignore their desperate cries
0:02:50 > 0:02:53# Then take their land for my prize
0:02:53 > 0:02:55# Refusing me is kind of treasonable
0:02:55 > 0:02:57# But I'm a guy who can be reasonable
0:02:57 > 0:02:59# I'll offer pensions, payment schemes
0:02:59 > 0:03:01# But crush the monks who block my dreams
0:03:01 > 0:03:05# A little more reformation, a lot less monasteries
0:03:05 > 0:03:10# Wanna get my hands on all that money, please
0:03:10 > 0:03:12# If those abbots don't change tack
0:03:12 > 0:03:14# I'll send them to the jailhouse rack
0:03:14 > 0:03:16# They'd better ditch the Pope and recognise me
0:03:17 > 0:03:20# Yeah, recognise me
0:03:20 > 0:03:21# So chuck out the monk
0:03:21 > 0:03:22# The monk, the monk
0:03:22 > 0:03:23# Chuck out the monk
0:03:23 > 0:03:24# The monk, the monk
0:03:24 > 0:03:26# Some may quit if they can
0:03:26 > 0:03:28# The rest I'll squash in my hand
0:03:28 > 0:03:31# Yes, that means they'll be slaughtered
0:03:31 > 0:03:33# Even hung, drawn and quartered
0:03:33 > 0:03:37# A little more reformation, a lot less monasteries
0:03:37 > 0:03:41# Wanna get my hands on all that money, please
0:03:41 > 0:03:44# I'll flog the buildings, sell the gold
0:03:44 > 0:03:46# Close the libraries, those books are old
0:03:46 > 0:03:49# There's nothing you can do to try and stop me
0:03:49 > 0:03:52# Cos I'm King Henry
0:03:52 > 0:03:54# Oh, mama
0:03:54 > 0:03:56# A little more reformation, please. #
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Henry has left the building.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03Well, it just goes to show you need a catchy tune
0:04:03 > 0:04:05if you want to be remembered.
0:04:05 > 0:04:09Either that or have a couple of your wives executed.
0:04:09 > 0:04:10So, I've had an idea.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14I'm going to write my own albums full of great songs.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16That's bound to make me famous.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19I could tall it Sewer Town Funk.
0:04:19 > 0:04:20RAT PLAYS YAMARAT
0:04:20 > 0:04:22But I'll need a good pop star name too.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25What about Unclean Bandit? No?
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Stink Ratty Rat?
0:04:27 > 0:04:32Or maybe it should sound really awesome, like Rattis the Rock God.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35Well, it worked for Alfred the Great.
0:04:35 > 0:04:36Back in the 9th century,
0:04:36 > 0:04:41he defended the country by hitting back against the Viking invaders.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44In fact, he had so many hits, he deserves a gold disc.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46Take it away, Alfie.
0:04:53 > 0:04:57# I had four brothers, future kings, every man
0:04:57 > 0:05:01# Aethelbald, Aethelred, Aethelberht and Aethelstan
0:05:01 > 0:05:05# I'm not an Aethel, but I'll end up being king
0:05:05 > 0:05:08# They mostly ended up the wrong end of a Viking
0:05:08 > 0:05:10# Every time I spoke to Viking Guthrum
0:05:10 > 0:05:12# To try to broker peace
0:05:12 > 0:05:14# He always seemed to break his promise
0:05:14 > 0:05:15# So a ceasefire had to cease
0:05:15 > 0:05:19# His armies entered Exeter, I caused him strife
0:05:19 > 0:05:24# But he fought back, so now I'm flighting for my life
0:05:24 > 0:05:27# I'm out of town, I'm in retreat
0:05:27 > 0:05:31# Don't want to end up as Viking meat
0:05:31 > 0:05:33# I've hurried off
0:05:33 > 0:05:34# I am upset
0:05:34 > 0:05:39# Hiding in the marshes of Somerset
0:05:39 > 0:05:43# I'm on the run, though I'm supposed to be top man
0:05:43 > 0:05:46# Think I'm beat, but this is neat
0:05:46 > 0:05:47# It's my royal master plan
0:05:47 > 0:05:50# I know this land so well I'll catch him hit and run
0:05:50 > 0:05:52# Mount attacks on Viking shacks
0:05:52 > 0:05:54# It's like I've won
0:05:54 > 0:05:58# On the Isle of Athelney is where great legends all began
0:05:58 > 0:06:00# People say that while I was there
0:06:00 > 0:06:01# I burnt cakes in a pan
0:06:01 > 0:06:05# They say there was nothing left but smouldering cakey goo
0:06:05 > 0:06:10# This story reel I must admit, it's not true
0:06:10 > 0:06:14# I'm out of town, but now I see
0:06:14 > 0:06:17# I'll wait till we build a huge army
0:06:17 > 0:06:21# I'm hanging in, I'm getting tough
0:06:21 > 0:06:26# Quite soon those Vikings will have had enough
0:06:26 > 0:06:30# Now with my army, Guthrun's men, I'm whipping 'em
0:06:30 > 0:06:33# The exit Exeter, now chipper in Chippenham
0:06:33 > 0:06:36# Proved to the country I've got what it takes... #
0:06:36 > 0:06:38But all people ask, though...
0:06:38 > 0:06:42# Is it true about the cakes?
0:06:42 > 0:06:46# I win the fight, I am the king
0:06:46 > 0:06:49# Tough like my brothers, kill a Viking
0:06:49 > 0:06:53# I'm number one, I am the boss
0:06:53 > 0:06:56# You mess with me and that'll be your loss
0:06:56 > 0:07:00# I won the war, came out on top
0:07:00 > 0:07:03# Viking rule managed to stop
0:07:03 > 0:07:06# I raised the stakes I got the breaks
0:07:06 > 0:07:11# But I didn't really burn the cakes. #
0:07:13 > 0:07:16Yes, the story goes that King Alfred burnt some cakes
0:07:16 > 0:07:21whilst hiding from the Vikings, but it's not true. Well, probably not.
0:07:21 > 0:07:22But, if he did,
0:07:22 > 0:07:25he could have had the cakes with a favourite Saxon drink called mead.
0:07:25 > 0:07:29To make mead, you need honey, and to get honey, you need bees.
0:07:29 > 0:07:30HE SCREAMS
0:07:30 > 0:07:31- GLASS SHATTERS - And to get bees...
0:07:31 > 0:07:34you need... Ah, I'll let Alfred explain.
0:07:34 > 0:07:35POT SHATTERS
0:07:35 > 0:07:38We Saxons love delicious honey. Mm.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41And use it to make our favourite mead drink.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43But how do you get a swarm of bees to nest in your house?
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Do you...
0:07:54 > 0:07:56The answer is A.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59When we see some bees, we sing a little song asking them to stay,
0:07:59 > 0:08:03and then chuck gravel over them. That's what my servants do.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05It's probably better than lobbing a shoe at them,
0:08:05 > 0:08:08because if they attack you, you've only got one shoe to run away with!
0:08:08 > 0:08:10I'm full of good advice, me.
0:08:11 > 0:08:12Yeah, right.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15- WOMAN:- Agh, a rat!
0:08:15 > 0:08:18Ah, there goes one of my screaming fans.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21All right, she was just screaming.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23If I'm going to make it big,
0:08:23 > 0:08:26I'm going to need some serious rock star attitude.
0:08:26 > 0:08:31That'll bring in the fans. Everybody loves a rebel, just like Boudica.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34She got loads of Celtic fans, especially
0:08:34 > 0:08:36when she went to war with the Romans.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38- WOMAN SCREAMS - Vermin!
0:08:38 > 0:08:40- RAT LAUGHS - Still got it.
0:08:47 > 0:08:52# Fine wine, designer Roman goods
0:08:52 > 0:08:55# I owned a fancy stash
0:08:55 > 0:09:00# But when my husband died, the Romans cried
0:09:00 > 0:09:03# Let's take his cash
0:09:03 > 0:09:07# Like a baby, I had a little cry
0:09:07 > 0:09:11# At this terrible stage
0:09:11 > 0:09:13# But before too long
0:09:13 > 0:09:14# I had turned this song
0:09:14 > 0:09:18# Into a violent rage
0:09:19 > 0:09:23# And so I had to wreck 'em all
0:09:23 > 0:09:27# Tear down every Roman wall
0:09:27 > 0:09:31# Unleashed all my fury on
0:09:31 > 0:09:35# Every Roman centurion
0:09:35 > 0:09:39# I led a Celtic army
0:09:39 > 0:09:43# And we smashed the Roman crew
0:09:43 > 0:09:47# Took London, St Albans, Camulodunum
0:09:47 > 0:09:51# That's Colchester to you
0:09:51 > 0:09:53# Rather than end up dead
0:09:53 > 0:09:55# Romans turned and fled
0:09:55 > 0:09:58# From our uprising
0:09:58 > 0:10:01# Their soldiers took flight
0:10:01 > 0:10:05# Cowards found our fight unappetising
0:10:05 > 0:10:09# And so I had to wreck 'em all
0:10:09 > 0:10:13# Took no prisoners at all
0:10:13 > 0:10:17# Burned those cowards down to the ground
0:10:17 > 0:10:21# Killed every Roman I found
0:10:24 > 0:10:27# I never meant to start a war
0:10:27 > 0:10:31# Actually, that's not so
0:10:31 > 0:10:36# Just wanted every Roman to pack up their villa and go
0:10:36 > 0:10:40# So Roman Britain starts to fall
0:10:40 > 0:10:43# Shame I hadn't reckoned all
0:10:43 > 0:10:47# These legions would arrive from Rome
0:10:47 > 0:10:51# And we're fighting them for our homes
0:10:51 > 0:10:55# Won't stop till I deck 'em all
0:10:55 > 0:10:59# Every soldier, every general
0:10:59 > 0:11:03# My plan was just to go berserk
0:11:03 > 0:11:05# And wrecking seems
0:11:05 > 0:11:07# To work, to work, to work
0:11:09 > 0:11:12# To work, to work, to work. #
0:11:16 > 0:11:18Boudica's career didn't last very long,
0:11:18 > 0:11:22and she was defeated by the Romans just a year later.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25But then she didn't have moves like this.
0:11:28 > 0:11:34Yes, I'm wearing sunglasses indoors and, yes, I know I look cool, yeah.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36But that's because fashion is pretty important
0:11:36 > 0:11:38if you want to be a real rock god.
0:11:38 > 0:11:42And the superstar of our next hit definitely had a fierce style
0:11:42 > 0:11:45of his own you won't forget in a hurry,
0:11:45 > 0:11:50especially if you were a Saxon at the Battle of Hastings in 1066.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Let's break it down with William the Conqueror.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Norman style!
0:12:01 > 0:12:03# We Normans are from France
0:12:03 > 0:12:05# It's not where we originated
0:12:05 > 0:12:09# Our accents are weird But we're not sophisticated... #
0:12:09 > 0:12:10HE BURPS
0:12:10 > 0:12:12# Tough and terrifying, we've descended from the Vikings
0:12:12 > 0:12:16# So is it any wonder we've a natural flair for fighting?
0:12:16 > 0:12:18- ALL:- # Normans over here
0:12:18 > 0:12:20# And you English can't abide us
0:12:20 > 0:12:21# Normans over here
0:12:21 > 0:12:23# Oh, that's cute, you try to fight us
0:12:23 > 0:12:25# Normans over here
0:12:25 > 0:12:27# We set the north on fire
0:12:27 > 0:12:29# Normans over here
0:12:29 > 0:12:30# Saxon life, au revoir
0:12:30 > 0:12:32# We build castles
0:12:32 > 0:12:34# We love horses
0:12:34 > 0:12:36- # Our cavalry - Hey
0:12:36 > 0:12:37- # All armies fear - Hey
0:12:37 > 0:12:39# We're great fighters
0:12:39 > 0:12:41# You can hire us
0:12:41 > 0:12:43- # But you won't like us - No
0:12:43 > 0:12:45- # And we don't care - No
0:12:45 > 0:12:49# We've got that haircut cos of chainmail that we wear...
0:12:51 > 0:12:53This is Norman style.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55# Jump, jump, jump, jump
0:12:55 > 0:12:56# Riding Norman style
0:12:56 > 0:12:58# Jump, jump, jump, jump
0:12:58 > 0:13:00# Haircut Norman style
0:13:00 > 0:13:02# Jump, jump, jump, jump
0:13:02 > 0:13:04# Hands off Norman style
0:13:04 > 0:13:05# Jump, jump, jump, jump... #
0:13:05 > 0:13:07This is Norman style
0:13:07 > 0:13:11# And William the Conqueror, the greatest Norman ever
0:13:11 > 0:13:14# Got delayed in Reading, England, cos of the bad weather
0:13:14 > 0:13:18# Then chopped up your King Harold and left his mummy crying
0:13:18 > 0:13:20# What do you expect, man?
0:13:20 > 0:13:21# I'm practically a Viking
0:13:21 > 0:13:23# England's rightful heir
0:13:23 > 0:13:25# So signed Edward the Confessor
0:13:25 > 0:13:27# England's rightful heir
0:13:27 > 0:13:28# Forget Harold the Usurper
0:13:28 > 0:13:30# England's rightful heir
0:13:30 > 0:13:32# These Normans gonna rule ya
0:13:32 > 0:13:34# England's rightful heir
0:13:34 > 0:13:36# Surrender or I kill ya
0:13:36 > 0:13:38# We build castles
0:13:38 > 0:13:39# We love horses
0:13:39 > 0:13:41- # Our cavalry - Hey
0:13:41 > 0:13:43- # All armies fear - Hey
0:13:43 > 0:13:45# We're great fighters
0:13:45 > 0:13:46# You can hire us
0:13:46 > 0:13:48- # But you won't like us - No
0:13:48 > 0:13:50- # And we don't care - No
0:13:50 > 0:13:55# We've got that hair cos of the chainmail that we wear... #
0:13:56 > 0:13:58This is Norman style.
0:13:58 > 0:14:02# Hey, Saxon ladies
0:14:02 > 0:14:04# Jump, jump, jump, jump
0:14:04 > 0:14:05# Haircut Norman style
0:14:05 > 0:14:09# Hey, Saxon prisoners
0:14:09 > 0:14:11# Jump, jump, jump, jump
0:14:11 > 0:14:13# Hands off Norman style
0:14:13 > 0:14:16# Hey, check our horses
0:14:16 > 0:14:18# Jump, jump, jump, jump
0:14:18 > 0:14:20# Riding Norman style
0:14:20 > 0:14:23# Hey, we ruled England
0:14:23 > 0:14:26# Jump, jump, jump... #
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Norman style.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31Bonjour. I am William the Conqueror.
0:14:31 > 0:14:35But before I got my ace nickname by Reading, England,
0:14:35 > 0:14:39my army had to wait in France for several weeks due to the bad weather.
0:14:39 > 0:14:43You will not believe how much poo was produced by the horses
0:14:43 > 0:14:44during that time.
0:14:44 > 0:14:45Was it...
0:14:54 > 0:14:58The answer is C, 2,000 tonnes. So much poo!
0:14:58 > 0:15:01And when you think of all the wee produced by all the soldiers
0:15:01 > 0:15:05and horses, it must have been about 2.5 million litres.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08They say that war is a dirty business. They are not kidding.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15William had style all right, but he had a temper too.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18Not like me, I'm too nice.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21Hang on, that's my problem.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24If I'm going to be a music megastar, I need to be much more demanding.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Ooh, what the rat is this?!
0:15:28 > 0:15:33I mean, come on. How many times have I said a mocha macchi latte grande?
0:15:33 > 0:15:35Not a choca matte cuppa chini weenie.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40Actually, this'll do. Thanks very much.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43No, no, no, no, no. I've got to be tougher than that!
0:15:43 > 0:15:46I need to become a real diva,
0:15:46 > 0:15:49like these next two warring queens from Tudor times.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51In fact, Queen Elizabeth I was
0:15:51 > 0:15:54so angry with her cousin Mary Queen of Scots
0:15:54 > 0:15:59plotting to take the throne, she had Mary arrested and put on trial.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02Please may I have some chocolate sprinkles?
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Please?
0:16:04 > 0:16:07# Is this a fair trial
0:16:07 > 0:16:10# Or just a mockery?
0:16:10 > 0:16:13# I am Queen Mary
0:16:13 > 0:16:17# With no escape from your trickery
0:16:17 > 0:16:20# No lawyer to depend
0:16:20 > 0:16:25# Or witnesses to defend me
0:16:32 > 0:16:35# Your honour
0:16:35 > 0:16:39# I killed no-one
0:16:39 > 0:16:42# You expect me to confess
0:16:42 > 0:16:46# That I'd bump off good queen Beth
0:16:46 > 0:16:48# Treason
0:16:48 > 0:16:52# I call Walsingham
0:16:52 > 0:16:54# Lord Altrincham
0:16:54 > 0:16:57# Cos these letters are fakes
0:16:59 > 0:17:04# Phoney, you're going down
0:17:06 > 0:17:09# I can prove they're real
0:17:09 > 0:17:14# And I was queen of Scotland once, you clown
0:17:14 > 0:17:18# Please do not carry on
0:17:18 > 0:17:20# You are guilty, now admit it
0:17:22 > 0:17:25# Mary's refusing to admit her guilt
0:17:25 > 0:17:27# What a shock, what a shame
0:17:27 > 0:17:29# A complete and utter scandal
0:17:29 > 0:17:33# Babington says Queen Beth, you never done in
0:17:33 > 0:17:34# To the scaffold
0:17:34 > 0:17:35# To the scaffold
0:17:35 > 0:17:36# To the scaffold
0:17:36 > 0:17:37# To the scaffold
0:17:37 > 0:17:39# To the scaffold she must go
0:17:39 > 0:17:40# I'm queen, you're vile
0:17:40 > 0:17:42# I demand a fair trial
0:17:42 > 0:17:45# Goodness gracious, is that the time already
0:17:45 > 0:17:48# Don't spare the horses Time to go home
0:17:50 > 0:17:54# If she's guilty then I must sentence her to die
0:17:55 > 0:17:59# But that would make me a killer queen, so I
0:18:00 > 0:18:02# Scary
0:18:02 > 0:18:05# Don't want to do this, Mary
0:18:07 > 0:18:11# Not gonna get out of signing her death warranty
0:18:25 > 0:18:28# Her death really matters
0:18:28 > 0:18:31# She made me enemies... #
0:18:31 > 0:18:32AXE FALLS
0:18:34 > 0:18:39# Her death really matters to me
0:18:40 > 0:18:44# That's not how my wig goes. #
0:18:48 > 0:18:54Well, at least Mary's wig didn't go to waste. I know, I'm fabulous!
0:18:54 > 0:18:59But being drop-dead gorgeous isn't enough to be a true superstar.
0:18:59 > 0:19:03You need a really famous boyfriend or girlfriend too.
0:19:03 > 0:19:06It's all about being in love
0:19:06 > 0:19:10and getting paparazzi to take pictures of you kissing in the park
0:19:10 > 0:19:13and holding hands. Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck.
0:19:13 > 0:19:17Although it did work for Egyptian queen Cleopatra
0:19:17 > 0:19:19over 2,000 years ago.
0:19:19 > 0:19:24First, she married the great Roman leader Julius Caesar.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27But he was assassinated by his rivals,
0:19:27 > 0:19:31so then she moved on to another Roman general, Mark Antony.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36But that quickly got out of hand too.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39Hello, Queen Cleo here.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42I'm still sad about Julius Caesar's death.
0:19:42 > 0:19:47Imagine being stabbed 23 times by your supposed friends.
0:19:47 > 0:19:51Luckily, I had Mark Antony's shoulder to cry on.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53It's a very muscular shoulder.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56He made sure the funeral was very memorable.
0:19:57 > 0:19:58But what did it include?
0:20:14 > 0:20:16And the answer is A.
0:20:16 > 0:20:20While Mark Antony gave a speech, a wax model of Caesar's body was
0:20:20 > 0:20:24rotated so the huge crowd could see all of his wounds.
0:20:24 > 0:20:25Grim.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29Then they grabbed Caesar's body, paraded it around and burned it.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31It was very strange.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33Not the funeral, that was fine,
0:20:33 > 0:20:37but the fact I wasn't the centre of attention for once.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41After the death of Caesar, Cleopatra married Mark Antony,
0:20:41 > 0:20:44but Caesar's nephew Octavian wasn't happy about this,
0:20:44 > 0:20:49and the new lovers were defeated by him in battle. Aha!
0:20:49 > 0:20:51They say the path of true love never runs smooth,
0:20:51 > 0:20:54but for Mark and Cleo, it ended with a roadblock.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01# Defeated by Octavian
0:21:01 > 0:21:03# That weed we don't respect
0:21:03 > 0:21:05# Affection killed in Actium
0:21:05 > 0:21:08# As my poor Ant has been decked
0:21:08 > 0:21:11# Yeah, I was wrecked
0:21:11 > 0:21:14# Now it's T-H-E E-N-D
0:21:14 > 0:21:16# I'm sure that spells the end for me
0:21:16 > 0:21:20# Octavian will display me in a cage The world will gloat
0:21:20 > 0:21:22# I can't go on
0:21:22 > 0:21:25# Will be paraded round the street
0:21:25 > 0:21:27# Octavian
0:21:27 > 0:21:29# Not your exotic parakeet
0:21:29 > 0:21:31# Not your spoils from victory
0:21:31 > 0:21:34# I'll spoil your party
0:21:34 > 0:21:39# I can't go on
0:21:47 > 0:21:49# I'm miserable, I'm so depressed
0:21:49 > 0:21:52# How did it come to this?
0:21:52 > 0:21:53# Octavian don't like me
0:21:53 > 0:21:57# Cos I dumped his plain, old sis
0:21:57 > 0:22:00# For Queen...
0:22:00 > 0:22:03# I'm trying to sustain our rule
0:22:03 > 0:22:05# Don't hold me up to ridicule
0:22:05 > 0:22:07# Snap out of this, you moping fool
0:22:07 > 0:22:09# You're not helping at all
0:22:09 > 0:22:11# I can't go on
0:22:11 > 0:22:13# Without my sweet Roman romance
0:22:13 > 0:22:15# My love has gone
0:22:15 > 0:22:18# Living alone not in my plans
0:22:18 > 0:22:20# Octavian, my boss?
0:22:20 > 0:22:22# I'd sooner eat my head
0:22:22 > 0:22:27# I can't go on
0:22:27 > 0:22:29# I must try and capture Cleo
0:22:29 > 0:22:31# Octavian must not take me-o
0:22:31 > 0:22:34# She'll kill herself just for me?
0:22:34 > 0:22:36# She must adore me
0:22:36 > 0:22:38# I'll foil Octavian with this plot
0:22:38 > 0:22:40# She's dead
0:22:42 > 0:22:44# Not yet, I'm not
0:22:44 > 0:22:46# She must not die
0:22:46 > 0:22:48# So much more popular than me
0:22:48 > 0:22:51# And so I die
0:22:51 > 0:22:53# This will look bad on my CV
0:22:53 > 0:22:55# Antony and Cleo gone
0:22:55 > 0:23:01# What a blooming pair of drama queens!
0:23:01 > 0:23:07# So all hail me. #
0:23:08 > 0:23:10APPLAUSE
0:23:10 > 0:23:11Thank you. Thank you.
0:23:11 > 0:23:16Thank you. Yes, what an honour it is to receive this award.
0:23:16 > 0:23:23I'd like to dedicate it to Cleopatra for being my superstar inspiration.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26She really was drop-dead gorgeous, right until she was,
0:23:26 > 0:23:28well, just drop-dead.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30Oi, mate, that's my award!
0:23:31 > 0:23:33All right, all right.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35I was only borrowing it.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39OK, maybe I'm not such a superstar after all.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42Turns out everyone thought my album, Sewer Town Funk,
0:23:42 > 0:23:44was a bit of a stinker.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Charming!
0:23:46 > 0:23:50Not like this next historical hit, Magna Carta -
0:23:50 > 0:23:55an agreement between King John and his barons, signed in 1215,
0:23:55 > 0:24:00that meant no-one was above the law, not even crooked King John himself.
0:24:00 > 0:24:04And they're still talking about this one 800 years later.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09# Here's the story
0:24:09 > 0:24:12# Of a very old decree
0:24:12 > 0:24:15# Forced on King John as he made off with the revenue
0:24:15 > 0:24:17BOTH: # Of us barons
0:24:17 > 0:24:19# And the aristocracy
0:24:19 > 0:24:21# He took our land and for a laugh
0:24:21 > 0:24:22# Held our sons hostage too
0:24:22 > 0:24:23# Magna Carta... #
0:24:23 > 0:24:24Magna Carta?
0:24:24 > 0:24:26# Told King John he's gotta be
0:24:26 > 0:24:28# He's gotta be subject to law
0:24:28 > 0:24:29# Agree tax with us too
0:24:29 > 0:24:31- # Gave his seal... # - Gave my seal?!
0:24:31 > 0:24:33# Then withdrew his guarantee
0:24:33 > 0:24:36# Left to Henry III and Edward I to pass it through
0:24:36 > 0:24:40# And I would say 800 years
0:24:40 > 0:24:44# A birthday worth 800 cheers
0:24:44 > 0:24:47# Since 1215, Magna Carta's been
0:24:47 > 0:24:51# The foundation of our democracy
0:24:51 > 0:24:54- BOTH:- # By 1500, it reads that all men are free
0:24:54 > 0:24:58# Even peasants just like me tell kings that it's true
0:24:58 > 0:25:00# For years, it vanished
0:25:00 > 0:25:02- # Until Edward Cook MP... # - That's me!
0:25:02 > 0:25:05# Challenged Charles I as his own powers grew
0:25:05 > 0:25:07- # You'd think that Cromwell - Jolly Olly
0:25:07 > 0:25:09# Would agree, but instead he said... #
0:25:09 > 0:25:12Magna Carta? Magna Farta more like. Not for me.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14# I'm Thomas Jefferson
0:25:14 > 0:25:16# And Edward Cook is the bee's knees
0:25:16 > 0:25:20# Our American Constitution incorporated his decrees
0:25:20 > 0:25:23# And I believe 800 years
0:25:23 > 0:25:27# Has proved from ancient pioneers
0:25:27 > 0:25:31# That British invention of all
0:25:31 > 0:25:34# Apart, of course, from soccer ball
0:25:34 > 0:25:35# Magna Carta
0:25:35 > 0:25:37- # Super charter - Magna Carta
0:25:37 > 0:25:38# It's a part a'
0:25:38 > 0:25:41- ALL:- # What you're taught at school
0:25:41 > 0:25:43- # Magna Carta - Just for starters
0:25:43 > 0:25:46- # Magna Carta - Nothing smarter
0:25:46 > 0:25:49# Kings, watch how you rule
0:25:49 > 0:25:53# Eleanor Roosevelt extended
0:25:53 > 0:25:56# This letter to America
0:25:56 > 0:26:00# Here's the story of a very old decree
0:26:00 > 0:26:04# And now enshrined in UN Human Rights since World War II
0:26:04 > 0:26:08# It began as help for the aristocracy
0:26:08 > 0:26:11# Now it's for you and me and everyone in the world too
0:26:11 > 0:26:14ALL: # And I would hope 800 years
0:26:14 > 0:26:18# Of freedom never disappears
0:26:18 > 0:26:22# All hail this simple ancient law
0:26:22 > 0:26:25# May it survive 800 more
0:26:25 > 0:26:26# Magna Carta
0:26:26 > 0:26:28# Super charter
0:26:28 > 0:26:29# Magna Carta
0:26:29 > 0:26:30# It's a part a'
0:26:30 > 0:26:32# What you're taught at school
0:26:32 > 0:26:34# Magna Carta
0:26:34 > 0:26:35# Just for starters
0:26:35 > 0:26:36# Magna Carta
0:26:36 > 0:26:37# Nothing smarter
0:26:37 > 0:26:41# Magna Carta rules! #
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Oh, there you are.
0:26:46 > 0:26:51So my dreams of superstardom have been dashed.
0:26:51 > 0:26:55And there were some really awesome tunes on my album too.
0:26:55 > 0:27:00All About The Waste. No Place I'd Rather Wee.
0:27:00 > 0:27:03And, my personal favourite, Shake It Off...
0:27:03 > 0:27:06that poo on your foot.
0:27:06 > 0:27:11Come on, only 5p a copy. Madam, 2p. Sir, 1p.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13Anyone?
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Oh, suit yourselves.
0:27:15 > 0:27:19But maybe if being a singing superstar isn't my thing,
0:27:19 > 0:27:21what if I tried rapping?
0:27:23 > 0:27:24Eh, eh?
0:27:24 > 0:27:25If I may...
0:27:27 > 0:27:29- HE RAPS:- # The battles were all bloody
0:27:29 > 0:27:30# The shocking deaths not pretty
0:27:30 > 0:27:33# But everything seems sweeter when it's told in a ditty
0:27:33 > 0:27:35# We hope you liked this show
0:27:35 > 0:27:36# My favourite, if you please
0:27:36 > 0:27:41# The all-singing, dancing Horrible Musical Histories. #
0:27:41 > 0:27:44No? Still not convinced?
0:27:44 > 0:27:46Oh, I give up.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48Goodbye.
0:27:49 > 0:27:51Well, ladies and gentlemen, that's it.
0:27:51 > 0:27:54That's a wrap on series six of Horrible Histories!
0:27:54 > 0:27:56CHEERING
0:28:00 > 0:28:02# The past is no longer a mystery
0:28:02 > 0:28:08# Hope you enjoyed Horrible Histories. #