0:00:02 > 0:00:03# Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians,
0:00:03 > 0:00:04# Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians
0:00:04 > 0:00:07# Woeful wars, ferocious fights Dingy castles, daring knights
0:00:07 > 0:00:10# Horrors that defy description Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians
0:00:10 > 0:00:12# Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes Punishment from ancient times
0:00:12 > 0:00:13# Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless
0:00:13 > 0:00:15# Cavemen, savage, fierce and toothless
0:00:15 > 0:00:18# Groovy Greeks, brainy sages Mean and measly Middle Ages
0:00:18 > 0:00:20# Gory stories, we do that
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# And your host, a talking rat
0:00:23 > 0:00:26# The past is no longer a mystery
0:00:26 > 0:00:27# Welcome to...
0:00:32 > 0:00:33Horrible Histories presents...
0:00:37 > 0:00:39There are lots of different types of rulers.
0:00:39 > 0:00:43In Britain we've had kings and queens, Japan has an emperor,
0:00:43 > 0:00:46Luxembourg even has a grand duke.
0:00:46 > 0:00:50But in the USA they've had a long line of presidents,
0:00:50 > 0:00:5145 of them so far.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54The very first of whom was...
0:00:54 > 0:00:55Now, let's see...
0:00:56 > 0:01:00President number one, George Washington.
0:01:00 > 0:01:04Back in 1783, America was ruled by Britain.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07But the Americas got fed up, fought a war to be independent,
0:01:07 > 0:01:11led by a brilliant soldier called George Washington.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Yee-ha!
0:01:13 > 0:01:15And now, from Presidential Publications,
0:01:15 > 0:01:18read for yourself how his tactics
0:01:18 > 0:01:20freed America from British rule.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23When I fought for the British, they taught me how to fight.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26When I fought against them, I taught them how to lose!
0:01:26 > 0:01:29Now you can read how I did it, in my new book,
0:01:29 > 0:01:30George Washington's Guide To Victory.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32I'll take you through the Battle of Long Island.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34Men...we're outnumbered.
0:01:37 > 0:01:38Run away.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Not forgetting the nail-biting battle of Germantown.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43On my command...march!
0:01:43 > 0:01:46And the crucial battle of White Plains,
0:01:46 > 0:01:48another tactical masterclass.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50There are 3,000 British troops over in the bay.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53OK, what I want you to do is gather all the troops you can,
0:01:53 > 0:01:54and on my command...
0:01:54 > 0:01:56run away.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59The British got so fed up of chasing us all over the country and
0:01:59 > 0:02:01paying the Army, that they gave up, went home!
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Buy it now! And remember, if they can't catch you,
0:02:05 > 0:02:08they can't make you surrender.
0:02:08 > 0:02:09Aargh, a bee! Run away!
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Run away!
0:02:11 > 0:02:14It's true. President number one, George Washington,
0:02:14 > 0:02:17won the war of independence, the Brits went home,
0:02:17 > 0:02:21and he took charge of a newly named United States of America.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24It was a brand-new country,
0:02:24 > 0:02:27and it needed a brand-new logo to stamp on all the laws,
0:02:27 > 0:02:28money and passports.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30Something people would respect.
0:02:30 > 0:02:35Something that said... nobility, heroism and grandeur.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Something like...this.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41What? What?
0:02:41 > 0:02:43Well, their ideas weren't much better.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48OK. Founding Fathers guys, we've got this.
0:02:48 > 0:02:49Thomas Jefferson,
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Benjamin Franklin, John Adams,
0:02:51 > 0:02:55you need a coat of arms to represent your new country!
0:02:55 > 0:02:57A coat of arms is crucial.
0:02:57 > 0:03:02The British have one and they totally love it.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04You've got a unicorn, you've got a lion.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Just typical British animals.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08OK, so...here we go.
0:03:08 > 0:03:13The Great Seal of the United States of America!
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Boom!
0:03:15 > 0:03:17No. No, I'm sorry, no, that won't do.
0:03:17 > 0:03:22OK, let's throw some new ideas around, there are no bad ideas.
0:03:22 > 0:03:23Alligator!
0:03:24 > 0:03:25- Bad idea.- Raccoon!
0:03:26 > 0:03:27- Bad idea.- Skunk.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33- Bad idea.- Alligator, raccoon and skunk, all wearing hats - taxi!
0:03:33 > 0:03:35Very bad idea.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38- Is it the hats?- No, I don't like the stupid animals.
0:03:38 > 0:03:39I quite like the hats, so...
0:03:39 > 0:03:42What I'm getting from you guys is, you want...
0:03:42 > 0:03:45- A bird.- Gobble, gobble, boom, boom.
0:03:45 > 0:03:46- Boom.- I like the turkey.
0:03:46 > 0:03:50It has gravitas, it has pride, it's the lion of the bird world.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52Benjamin, we are not having a turkey.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54Long shot - bald...
0:03:54 > 0:03:56headed...eagle.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58- Does it have to be bald? - Well, he can wear a hat.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00That way you wouldn't see that he's...
0:04:00 > 0:04:02- Bald.- That is a good idea.
0:04:02 > 0:04:03No, the eagle is a scavenger.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06- He's a bully.- It's not like my noble turkey.
0:04:06 > 0:04:10- I want my turkey.- We have been arguing about this for six years,
0:04:10 > 0:04:11OK? We have had three
0:04:11 > 0:04:13different committees with 14 different members.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17Now, we need to agree on something, and the eagle works.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Brilliant. Meeting over.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22- Let's go play ping-pong. - I want my turkey.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Where's my turkey? I want my turkey.
0:04:24 > 0:04:25- It's turkey time!- No, no, ssh...
0:04:25 > 0:04:27I just... I like turkeys.
0:04:28 > 0:04:32In my honour, our new capital city was named Washington, DC.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34It was a gleaming example to the world.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36But there was one small problem.
0:04:36 > 0:04:37Was it...
0:04:48 > 0:04:50The answer is...
0:04:50 > 0:04:52FLIES BUZZ
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Yes, part of the city was built on a swamp.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57We may have defeated the British, but...
0:04:57 > 0:05:00these mosquitoes are going to kill us all.
0:05:00 > 0:05:01Run away!
0:05:01 > 0:05:06In the 1800s, the United States was teeny-tiny compared to nowadays.
0:05:06 > 0:05:10Because a lot of what we think of as America today was actually owned by
0:05:10 > 0:05:14France, including important cities like New Orleans.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16But things were about to change.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21President number three, Thomas Jefferson,
0:05:21 > 0:05:23knew a bargain when he saw it.
0:05:24 > 0:05:28Mesdames et messieurs, I am Napoleon Bonaparte, the leader of France,
0:05:28 > 0:05:32and there must be something very wrong with me because I am giving
0:05:32 > 0:05:35away New Orleans! That is right, I am giving it away!
0:05:35 > 0:05:37For just 20 million.
0:05:37 > 0:05:42I got to get my mitts on this before somebody else snaps it up.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45Ah, Monsieur President, mon plaisir!
0:05:45 > 0:05:50Yeah. Well, straight to the chase - I want to buy New Orleans.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Two million American dollars.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54Two million?
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Two million? I want 20!
0:05:56 > 0:05:59Two million is chump change.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02I have someone on the other line, I will call you back.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Boney, old chap, just giving you the heads-up,
0:06:04 > 0:06:06we're declaring a war on you next Thursday.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08- What?- Anyway, just checking you've
0:06:08 > 0:06:10got the necessary wonga to fund a jolly
0:06:10 > 0:06:12good war - can be rather expensive.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14Unless of course you want to give up now?
0:06:14 > 0:06:15Never!
0:06:15 > 0:06:16BLOWS RASPBERRY
0:06:17 > 0:06:19How much money do I have?
0:06:19 > 0:06:22Oh, don't even have two beans to rub together.
0:06:24 > 0:06:25Ah!
0:06:25 > 0:06:27- Napoleon.- Jefferson!
0:06:27 > 0:06:30I have been thinking. I love the USA.
0:06:30 > 0:06:31I love it! Yes.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Uncle Simon! Ha-ha!
0:06:33 > 0:06:36New Orleans is yours for just...
0:06:36 > 0:06:41- 15 million.- 10 million, and that's my final offer.
0:06:41 > 0:06:4515...but I will throw in the rest of the Louisiana Territory.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Hot dang!
0:06:50 > 0:06:54That's a million square feet of land.
0:06:54 > 0:06:55Oui. What the Americans call...
0:06:55 > 0:06:58going super-sized, non?
0:06:58 > 0:07:01You've got yourself a deal, Emperor.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
0:07:03 > 0:07:07Thomas, you are one cool customer.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09Oh... Oh, no!
0:07:11 > 0:07:15Bargain! They did a two-for-one on whole states,
0:07:15 > 0:07:20and soon afterwards the United States added Spanish Florida too.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22The USA was growing,
0:07:22 > 0:07:24and more and more people from around
0:07:24 > 0:07:27the world were heading there to start new lives.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31It was an exciting time, but it could be pretty confusing too,
0:07:31 > 0:07:35because not everyone spoke the language you might expect.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37OLD-TIMEY WILD WEST PIANO
0:07:44 > 0:07:45SPITTOON DINGS
0:07:45 > 0:07:47HE HAWKS
0:07:47 > 0:07:48SPITTOON DINGS
0:07:54 > 0:07:56Guten Tag! Ich bin the Sheriff.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59- Was kann ich fur Sie tun? - What in tarnation?
0:07:59 > 0:08:03Ah, yeah, yeah. Ingrid, konnten Sie kommen hier, bitte?
0:08:03 > 0:08:05Ah! Guten Tag!
0:08:05 > 0:08:09Who are you, and what is this cowboy talking about?
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Oh, we are speaking German.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13- Join us.- No, I will not join you.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15Why are you all speaking German?
0:08:15 > 0:08:19Cos German is the second most popular language in America.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21That's hogwash.
0:08:21 > 0:08:25- Er, was hat er gesagt? - I think you are...
0:08:25 > 0:08:27offering to wash his pig?
0:08:27 > 0:08:30- Yes?- Nein, danke!- No!
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Soy un vaquero Espanol.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Ah, now I don't understand that.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37I think it was Spanish?
0:08:37 > 0:08:39- Si, si.- Spain-ish?!
0:08:39 > 0:08:42Yes, people have come to America from all over the world,
0:08:42 > 0:08:43not just England.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45Ahem!
0:08:45 > 0:08:48Und einige von uns waren schon hier!
0:08:48 > 0:08:51Yah, some of us were here already.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Don't tell me he's German too!
0:08:53 > 0:08:57No, but some people make an effort to learn a language.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Well, German ain't the language here.
0:09:00 > 0:09:01We speak American.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05Take a look around you, lady, this is the US of A.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07I think you'll find it's English we speak here, old bean.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10I don't speak English, old bean.
0:09:10 > 0:09:14I speak the Queen's American.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17Was ist diese Idiot reden?
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Did he just call me an idiot?
0:09:19 > 0:09:22Ja, ja, ja! You see, now you are learning the language.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25- Clever, clever, clever.- Oh!
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Foreign cowboys ain't welcome here.
0:09:27 > 0:09:31So y'all can just saddle right on up...
0:09:38 > 0:09:42..and have a lovely ride of your horse amidst our beautiful scenery.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45I mean, we're all from somewhere, right?
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Live and let live. I always say that.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51I've had a hog killing time and all, but by hook or by crook,
0:09:51 > 0:09:54I've got to giddy on up and get my chow from the chuck wagon.
0:09:54 > 0:09:58Well, see you all later, partners.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Did anyone understand a word of that?
0:10:00 > 0:10:02I don't think he's from round here.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06- Music!- Ah, sehr gut!
0:10:06 > 0:10:07Time for another.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10Ah, yes.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12President number seven, Andrew Jackson,
0:10:12 > 0:10:14who was nicknamed Old Hickory,
0:10:14 > 0:10:18because his soldiers thought he was tough as hickory wood.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Jackson died in 1837,
0:10:20 > 0:10:25his funeral was a sombre affair with one very badly behaved guest.
0:10:25 > 0:10:26Good day!
0:10:27 > 0:10:30On behalf of President Jackson's family,
0:10:30 > 0:10:33it's my honour to welcome you on this sad day.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37We're joined, of course, by President Jackson's parrot, Paul,
0:10:37 > 0:10:39who was by his side throughout his long career,
0:10:39 > 0:10:42and picked up many of the words he used to say.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Andrew Jackson was a...
0:10:45 > 0:10:47- Nitwit!- ..nitwit. Nit...not...
0:10:47 > 0:10:50Not what I would call a dull man, far from it.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52He was a shining example to us all.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55From a humble background he trained hard to become a...
0:10:55 > 0:10:56- Loser!- ..loser. Lawyer!
0:10:56 > 0:11:00Lawyer. And was then elected to government.
0:11:00 > 0:11:04He co-founded the great city of Memphis, Tennessee,
0:11:04 > 0:11:07and loved nothing more to sit on his veranda, sipping a glass of...
0:11:07 > 0:11:10- Wee-wee!- Wee-wee...
0:11:10 > 0:11:11WE all know he sipped iced tea.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14I never knew a man with more powerful...
0:11:14 > 0:11:16- Farts!- ..farts. Faith! Than he.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19He always travelled everywhere with his battered old...
0:11:19 > 0:11:22- Bottom!- Bible by his side filled with...
0:11:22 > 0:11:24- Knickers!- Wisdom!
0:11:25 > 0:11:28Let's skip through to the gun salute.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32HE WHISTLES
0:11:32 > 0:11:33Uh-oh!
0:11:33 > 0:11:34GUNSHOTS
0:11:35 > 0:11:38Let us pee... Pray! Pray.
0:11:39 > 0:11:40Um, who's next?
0:11:42 > 0:11:46President number 16, Abraham Lincoln.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48This great US president faced some
0:11:48 > 0:11:51of the toughest challenges of any American leader.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54Luckily, he got lots of great advice,
0:11:54 > 0:11:57even though some of it came from some rather unusual places.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00Abraham Lincoln here.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Running for the job of the 16th
0:12:02 > 0:12:03president of the
0:12:03 > 0:12:05United States of America.
0:12:05 > 0:12:06Oh, you want to see me? Yeah?
0:12:06 > 0:12:09Oh, hey there!
0:12:09 > 0:12:15I think you are a great man.
0:12:15 > 0:12:16You are too kind.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19But I don't like your face.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21I withdraw my comment.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25Would you like to know why?
0:12:25 > 0:12:27"Would I like to know why?"
0:12:27 > 0:12:29I've got a feeling you're going to tell me anyway, Grace.
0:12:29 > 0:12:34Your head is too skinny.
0:12:34 > 0:12:39What can I do with that? Yeah, OK, laugh it up, guys.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Yeah, skinny head, got it.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43No, I don't look like a giraffe!
0:12:43 > 0:12:44OK, let's just park that there.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46There's not much I can do about my head.
0:12:46 > 0:12:50Grow some whiskers.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52OK. Well, I'll consider it, Grace,
0:12:52 > 0:12:57even though you can't vote for me anyway, because you're a girl.
0:12:57 > 0:12:58And you're 11.
0:12:59 > 0:13:06At least I'm not a skinny head.
0:13:06 > 0:13:07OK, I appreciate the feedback.
0:13:07 > 0:13:08And you never know, Grace,
0:13:08 > 0:13:11maybe next time you see me in a photo I'll have some whiskers.
0:13:16 > 0:13:20Of course, Abraham Lincoln was famous for wanting to end slavery in
0:13:20 > 0:13:24America, but not everyone in the US agreed with him.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26This led to the outbreak of a civil war
0:13:26 > 0:13:31between the northern and southern states of the USA in 1861.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34Southern states even declared their own rival President,
0:13:34 > 0:13:37and man called Jefferson Davis.
0:13:39 > 0:13:44Yep, he's not in here, because Lincoln and the North won the war.
0:13:44 > 0:13:49And they had plenty of help doing it from a very clever secret source,
0:13:49 > 0:13:51the spy, Mary Bowser,
0:13:51 > 0:13:55who pretended to be a slave called Ellen
0:13:55 > 0:13:57working for the rival President.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00She was in great danger, but for some reason,
0:14:00 > 0:14:04the generals just couldn't believe she was a spy.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Generals of the Confederate South.
0:14:07 > 0:14:11Before I discuss our secret plans on how to defeat the North,
0:14:11 > 0:14:15I must tell you that I believe that there is a traitor amongst us.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Ellen, confess!
0:14:19 > 0:14:21You have forgotten to top up my coffee!
0:14:24 > 0:14:28Now, I must consider who this traitor could possibly be.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32Ellen!
0:14:32 > 0:14:34You must be...
0:14:34 > 0:14:35careful!
0:14:35 > 0:14:39Now, if you try to even understand one word of this very clever thing,
0:14:39 > 0:14:41then it might blow your tiny lady mind.
0:14:41 > 0:14:45Oh, yes, sir. I don't even know how to do no reading!
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Run along and get some more bread for the guys,
0:14:47 > 0:14:49before any more of this highly intelligent mind talk
0:14:49 > 0:14:51sends your brain into a fizz.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56Thomas, they still assume me an uneducated slave girl.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59But I may be in grave danger soon.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03Make haste with these stolen secret plans to President Lincoln at once.
0:15:03 > 0:15:07Why, thank you, Thomas, these buns sure do smell delicious.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10- I spy a traitor!- Surely you are not suggesting...
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Let me finish. I spy a TRAY TO put our empty cups on whilst we're
0:15:13 > 0:15:14studying these plans.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Whoops!
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Oh, crumbs.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20Heavens, Ellen, now look at these...
0:15:20 > 0:15:24these papers may seem like nothing to a humble slave girl,
0:15:24 > 0:15:29but these are top secret information that must, under no circumstances,
0:15:29 > 0:15:32find their ways into the hands of our cunning enemy.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Might you
0:15:39 > 0:15:41be that enemy,
0:15:41 > 0:15:42Ellen?
0:15:47 > 0:15:49THEY ROAR WITH LAUGHTER
0:15:52 > 0:15:53I do feel ever so clever for having made
0:15:53 > 0:15:55a joke as ridiculousness as that one.
0:15:58 > 0:15:59Ellen!
0:16:01 > 0:16:05Mary Bowser helped President Lincoln and the North win the Civil War.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08When it was over, Lincoln abolished slavery.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Top work! But Lincoln still had his enemies,
0:16:11 > 0:16:14and so the first official secret security service
0:16:14 > 0:16:19was set up to protect America by President Lincoln himself.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23But they were never prepared for this particular first day at work.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Best seats in the house, gentlemen.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30First ever Secret Service social night to commemorate
0:16:30 > 0:16:32- our first ever day in existence. - You know,
0:16:32 > 0:16:34I know that we were only created today,
0:16:34 > 0:16:35but do you think, maybe, we should
0:16:35 > 0:16:37stop calling ourselves Secret Service?
0:16:37 > 0:16:40You know, because we're supposed to be...secret?
0:16:40 > 0:16:42- Good note.- Thanks.
0:16:42 > 0:16:43Ice cream!
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Over here for the Secret Service, you guys.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48- Gentlemen.- Oh, sorry, wrong box.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50- Mister President!- Oh!
0:16:50 > 0:16:51I thought I was being attacked.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53There is no danger of that, sir,
0:16:53 > 0:16:55surrounded by your brand-new Secret...
0:16:56 > 0:16:59- WHISPERS:- Secret Service.- It's us.
0:16:59 > 0:17:03Yes, it's not actually your job to protect the president, gentlemen.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06You were set up to hunt down forged money.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08So let's all just relax.
0:17:08 > 0:17:09- Yes, sir!- Oh!
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Stop sneaking up on me like that!
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Why do you keep touching your ear?
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Sir, I have eczema. It's really itchy.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Sorry to hear that. Well, enjoy the show, boys.
0:17:19 > 0:17:20I'll see you later.
0:17:22 > 0:17:23We just met the President!
0:17:25 > 0:17:26This is for the Civil...
0:17:26 > 0:17:29Oh, excuse me, have you seen the President?
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Hey, wait a minute, pal.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34- What?- Aren't you the famous actor John Wilkes Booth?
0:17:36 > 0:17:37Why, yes, I am.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39I knew it was you!
0:17:39 > 0:17:41Can I get your autograph?
0:17:41 > 0:17:44- I don't see why not.- Make it out to my daughter.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48- What's her name? - Her name is Special Agent Andrews.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52That's your name...
0:17:52 > 0:17:53Kiss, Kiss.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Yes, yes!
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Hold it.
0:17:57 > 0:17:58What?
0:17:58 > 0:18:01You forgot your gun, dummy.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04You big dumb-dumb! John Wilkes Booth.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10We just met John Wilkes Booth!
0:18:10 > 0:18:12He's so famous, but he's so nice.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14John Wilkes Booth. Boom!
0:18:14 > 0:18:16The President. Boom!
0:18:16 > 0:18:19This day could not get any better.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21This is for the Civil War!
0:18:21 > 0:18:22GUNSHOT
0:18:22 > 0:18:24SCREAMING
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Oh! John Wilkes Booth just shot the President.
0:18:26 > 0:18:30They should totally have, like, a Secret Service that could deal with
0:18:30 > 0:18:31- stuff like that.- Yeah.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34Oh!
0:18:36 > 0:18:39All right, so the agents weren't actually at the theatre that night,
0:18:39 > 0:18:41but the organisation was created on
0:18:41 > 0:18:44the very same day Lincoln was assassinated.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Time for another president.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50President number 26.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54A tough outdoorsy kind of guy.
0:18:54 > 0:18:58So it's kind of funny what he's best known for.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Your coffee, madam.
0:19:00 > 0:19:01Great job, thank you, Hartley.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03One, two, three, four.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05I knocked the fellow to the floor.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08- Teddy!- Don't call me Teddy.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11I'm a man. I'm a big man, with the big cup of coffee.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Yes, Teddy...Theodore, I know you are, honey.
0:19:15 > 0:19:16Look! A present for you.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18Oh! Ah!
0:19:18 > 0:19:22It's probably some manly hunting supplies, or a boxing trophy.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28Here. Let me.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32Oh, look, Teddy.
0:19:32 > 0:19:33It's a cuddly bear.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36- Huh?- Apparently they are making them in your honour,
0:19:36 > 0:19:39because you refused to shoot that bear on your hunting trip.
0:19:39 > 0:19:40They are calling them TEDDY bears.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42- Ain't that adorable?- Adorable?
0:19:43 > 0:19:45A cuddly bear in my honour.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48But I'm a big, tough, manly man's man,
0:19:48 > 0:19:51not some cuddly-bear-hugging mamma's boy.
0:19:51 > 0:19:54I knew I should have killed that darned bear.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57- Teddy!- For the last time, Edith, I'm Theodore Roosevelt.
0:19:57 > 0:20:01Soldier, explorer, boxer, president of the United States.
0:20:01 > 0:20:02I don't want to be remembered as the
0:20:02 > 0:20:05- guy who gave the world the teddy bear.- Whatever you say, Ted...
0:20:05 > 0:20:08Theodore. I'll have it sent back to the manufacturers.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10We'll demand to have the whole range shredded.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13Shredded! They can't do that.
0:20:13 > 0:20:17All his flufty bobbles will fall out and give him a poorly tum-tum.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20I mean... Manly...
0:20:21 > 0:20:24Don't worry, Mr Fluffy, I'll look after you.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31The wives of the presidents are known as the first ladies.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34And there were none stronger than Eleanor Roosevelt.
0:20:34 > 0:20:39She was the niece of president 26, Teddy Roosevelt, and the wife of...
0:20:41 > 0:20:44..president number 32, Franklin D Roosevelt.
0:20:44 > 0:20:49What she did changed the role of the first lady for ever.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Welcome to the White House, Mrs Roosevelt.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53I'll be your personal aide.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55I can provide absolutely anything that you need.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57How wonderful.
0:20:57 > 0:20:58I have a selection of canapes for you
0:20:58 > 0:21:00to sample for tonight's reception.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02I am not interested in canapes.
0:21:02 > 0:21:06It's 1933, we are in the middle of the Great Depression.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09Some people have no food at all, you know.
0:21:09 > 0:21:13Of course. What about wardrobe, entertainment,
0:21:13 > 0:21:15celebrity dinner guests?
0:21:15 > 0:21:17I should like to meet some homeless people, please.
0:21:17 > 0:21:21- What, ma'am?- I'd like to know what we can do to help them.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23OK. Anything else?
0:21:23 > 0:21:26- Vets.- Oh, is the White House doggy sick?
0:21:26 > 0:21:27No, Army veterans.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30I want to know what we can do to help them, too.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32But Mrs Roosevelt, what will you wear?
0:21:32 > 0:21:34Why, clothes, I should imagine.
0:21:34 > 0:21:38I have far more important things to think about than dresses.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40You're absolutely right.
0:21:40 > 0:21:45- Shoes.- How can I think about shoes when some people don't have any?
0:21:45 > 0:21:47But Mrs Roosevelt, you must.
0:21:47 > 0:21:51You're the first lady. You need to be a beacon of style.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Why, the former first lady, Dolly Madison,
0:21:53 > 0:21:56spent 1,000 a year on turbans alone.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59And I'm sure she looked perfectly pleasant, but I just want to help...
0:21:59 > 0:22:01Help people, yeah, you said.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04But please, Mrs Roosevelt, help me.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06Can I at least show you your wardrobe?
0:22:06 > 0:22:08Fine. Where is it?
0:22:08 > 0:22:10It's right here.
0:22:12 > 0:22:13My word!
0:22:13 > 0:22:15You could house a family of six in there.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18Please say you're not going to do that.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23Far out! Shame all the presidents weren't like that lady.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Now, let's spin the wheel and see who's next.
0:22:29 > 0:22:33President number 35, John F Kennedy.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36The USA fell out with its close neighbour Cuba
0:22:36 > 0:22:39because Cuba was going to store deadly nuclear missiles for Russia,
0:22:39 > 0:22:42at the time, the USA's great enemy.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44President Kennedy had to deal with the threat,
0:22:44 > 0:22:48and he targeted the Cuban leader, Fidel Castro.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50America's top-secret security services
0:22:50 > 0:22:53devised some cunning ways to try and get rid of him.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56I don't know, man, why can't people just get along?
0:22:56 > 0:22:58JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS
0:22:58 > 0:23:01- Sandra, send the guys through. - Right away, sir.
0:23:01 > 0:23:03Ah, gentlemen.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05I hope you don't mind me eating, I'm a busy man.
0:23:05 > 0:23:06Not at all, President Kennedy, sir.
0:23:06 > 0:23:07This is Agent Bob.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Pleasure to meet you, President Kenny.
0:23:09 > 0:23:10RECORD SCRATCHES AND STOPS
0:23:10 > 0:23:12It's Kennedy, Bob.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16Pleasure to meet you President Kenny Kennedy Bob, sir.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18He's a maverick, sir. But he has the reflexes of a cat.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21I also lick myself clean like a cat, sir.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23Well, that's good to know.
0:23:23 > 0:23:27Now. Listen, gentlemen, we have a problem down there in Cuba.
0:23:27 > 0:23:28That President Fidel Castro is
0:23:28 > 0:23:31getting a little too cosy with our enemies, the Russians.
0:23:31 > 0:23:32What can you guys do about that?
0:23:32 > 0:23:36Back at the CIA we refer to the Cuban President Castro as The Beard.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39We've made various attempts to assassinate him,
0:23:39 > 0:23:41all the time trying to make it look like an accident.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43So far, without success.
0:23:44 > 0:23:45- Cigar?- Ah, cigar!
0:23:49 > 0:23:50Clear.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53I know smoking is bad for you, but...
0:23:53 > 0:23:54I'm sorry, sir,
0:23:54 > 0:23:57we made two attempts to assassinate The Beard using cigars.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00That could have been an attempt on your life, sir.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Well, in that case, good work, Agent Bob.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04You are welcome, Mister President Kenny Kennedy Bob, sir.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Milkshake! Get down, Mister President!
0:24:08 > 0:24:11Don't tell me, you tried to kill Castro, sorry, The Beard,
0:24:11 > 0:24:13- with a milkshake too? - A poisonous one, yes.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17- Target neutralised.- Good work, Bob.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20OK, Mister President, sir. It's time to reveal our latest plan.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23- If you could demonstrate, Agent Bob?- Yes, sir, sir.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25Before he comes back, is there anything else I should
0:24:25 > 0:24:27avoid mentioning that might set him off?
0:24:27 > 0:24:29Yeah, quite a few, sir.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31- Let me make a note.- Not with a pen, sir.
0:24:31 > 0:24:36We used one to try and smuggle a syringe full of poison into Cuba.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38MUFFLED SPEECH
0:24:38 > 0:24:42- Bob, Bob, you need to take the... - Oh, sorry.
0:24:42 > 0:24:46The Beard loves to scuba dive, Mister President, sir.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49So our plan is to line this wet suit with a deadly disease,
0:24:49 > 0:24:51and swap it with his...
0:24:51 > 0:24:54- Hey!- Sir, what are you eating for your main course?
0:24:54 > 0:24:55A seafood platter.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58Save yourself!
0:24:58 > 0:25:01We packed a seashell with dynamite,
0:25:01 > 0:25:04with the view that The Beard would pick it up when he was diving.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Have you considered just shooting him?
0:25:07 > 0:25:09I might just write that down.
0:25:09 > 0:25:10Shouldn't you...?
0:25:14 > 0:25:17None of the assassination attempts on Castro worked,
0:25:17 > 0:25:20and he lived to the ripe old age of 90.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23Tragically, JFK himself was shot by a gunman
0:25:23 > 0:25:26just two years into his presidency.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28But, for better or worse,
0:25:28 > 0:25:32every president has shaped the USA you know and love today.
0:25:32 > 0:25:36As their reward, even when they've retired and someone else is running
0:25:36 > 0:25:40the country, they get to keep the title Mister President
0:25:40 > 0:25:43for the rest of their lives
0:25:43 > 0:25:44Take it away, boys.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47MUSIC: JIMI HENDRIX'S THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER
0:25:51 > 0:25:53# I'm George Washington
0:25:53 > 0:25:54# Born and raised in Virginia
0:25:54 > 0:25:57# From a slave-owning family with a privileged upbringing
0:25:57 > 0:26:00# I fought for the British but they taxed our stamps and tea
0:26:00 > 0:26:01# It got us kind of thinking
0:26:01 > 0:26:02We want to be free!
0:26:02 > 0:26:04# It all kicked off at the Boston Tea Party
0:26:04 > 0:26:07# We declared independence and fought to victory
0:26:07 > 0:26:10# Signed the Treaty of Paris 1783
0:26:10 > 0:26:12# I wasn't great at affection but my troops loved me
0:26:12 > 0:26:15# I'm Abraham Lincoln and I'm kind of pretty famous
0:26:15 > 0:26:18# Led the North against the South in the fight to end slavery
0:26:18 > 0:26:20# They call me Honest Abe cos I didn't like to lie
0:26:20 > 0:26:22# But if you're messing with this president
0:26:22 > 0:26:23# I'm gonna make you cry!
0:26:23 > 0:26:26# Had a pretty sweet beard and as leader I impressed
0:26:26 > 0:26:28# Man, you should have heard me speaking at the Gettysburg Address
0:26:28 > 0:26:31# When the Southern states surrendered in 1865
0:26:31 > 0:26:34# As the Northern Union Leader it felt great to be alive
0:26:34 > 0:26:36# Till John Wilkes Booth went and blew me away
0:26:36 > 0:26:39# But that pesky little coward didn't get the final say
0:26:39 > 0:26:42# They carved me on a mountain in the U S of A!
0:26:43 > 0:26:45# You call us Mister President
0:26:45 > 0:26:47# If we was alive today
0:26:47 > 0:26:48# Always Mister President
0:26:48 > 0:26:51# The title never goes away
0:26:51 > 0:26:53# Call us Mister President
0:26:53 > 0:26:55# We made the USA!
0:26:57 > 0:26:59# I was Thomas Jefferson and really great at writing
0:26:59 > 0:27:02# But I found public speaking kind of very frightening
0:27:02 > 0:27:05# The Declaration of Independence, that was me
0:27:05 > 0:27:08# I wrote All Men Are Equal but my slaves were never free
0:27:08 > 0:27:10# Franklin D Roosevelt, president in the Great Depression
0:27:10 > 0:27:13# My inaugural speech made a really great impression
0:27:13 > 0:27:15# America was down cos it squandered all its wealth
0:27:15 > 0:27:18# But I said, all we've got to fear is fear itself
0:27:18 > 0:27:20# You'd call us Mister President
0:27:20 > 0:27:21# If we was alive today
0:27:21 > 0:27:24# Always Mister President
0:27:24 > 0:27:26# The title never goes away
0:27:26 > 0:27:28# Call us Mister President
0:27:28 > 0:27:31# We made the USA!
0:27:32 > 0:27:35# The oldest ever president, Ronald "Ronnie" Reagan
0:27:35 > 0:27:37# I used to be an actor before leading this fine nation
0:27:37 > 0:27:40# Planned for lasers in space, you think that was pretty sweet?
0:27:40 > 0:27:41# Bought over three tonnes of jelly beans
0:27:41 > 0:27:43# For an election victory greet
0:27:47 > 0:27:48# To lead the USA
0:27:48 > 0:27:51# Don't forget the White House was built by slaves
0:27:51 > 0:27:53# So you want a healthcare plan? Well, yes, we can
0:27:54 > 0:27:57# You call us Mister President
0:27:57 > 0:27:59# If we was alive today
0:27:59 > 0:28:00# Always Mister President
0:28:00 > 0:28:02# The title never goes away
0:28:02 > 0:28:04# Call us Mister President
0:28:04 > 0:28:06# We made the USA
0:28:06 > 0:28:08# All Mister Presidents were honoured to serve
0:28:08 > 0:28:10# And you can take that to the bank
0:28:10 > 0:28:11# Of the Federal Reserve! #
0:28:14 > 0:28:15RAPID SPEECH
0:28:15 > 0:28:16..clear!
0:28:16 > 0:28:17What?
0:28:18 > 0:28:20Just typical British animals, ha-ha!
0:28:20 > 0:28:23Sir, have a go.
0:28:23 > 0:28:25LAUGHTER
0:28:25 > 0:28:27# The past is no longer a mystery
0:28:27 > 0:28:29# Hope you enjoyed
0:28:29 > 0:28:33# Horrible Histories. #