0:00:02 > 0:00:03# Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians
0:00:03 > 0:00:05# Slimy stewards, vile Victorians
0:00:05 > 0:00:07# Woeful wars, ferocious fights Dingy castles, daring knights
0:00:07 > 0:00:10# Horrors that defy description Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians
0:00:10 > 0:00:13# Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes Punishment from ancient times
0:00:13 > 0:00:15# Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless
0:00:15 > 0:00:16# Cavemen, savage, fierce and toothless
0:00:16 > 0:00:19# Groovy Greeks, brainy sages Mean and measly Middle Ages
0:00:19 > 0:00:20# Gory stories, we do that
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# And your host, a talking rat
0:00:23 > 0:00:26# The past is no longer a mystery
0:00:26 > 0:00:27# Welcome to...
0:00:27 > 0:00:32# Horrible Histories. #
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Horrible Histories presents...
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Revolting Russian Revolution.
0:00:38 > 0:00:422017 is the 100th anniversary of the Russian Revolution,
0:00:42 > 0:00:46a roller-coaster ride of an event that changed the world forever,
0:00:46 > 0:00:51featuring unpopular emperors, mad monks and wild revolutionaries,
0:00:51 > 0:00:53and it all happened in a huge
0:00:53 > 0:00:56country that had been ruled by the same
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Royal Family, the Romanovs, for 300 years.
0:01:05 > 0:01:09Russia, a land of extreme size and extreme weather,
0:01:09 > 0:01:13but we hardy Russians have survived here for thousands of years.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15How?
0:01:15 > 0:01:19I'm Nicholas II, Tsar of Russia, and I'm going to tell you how.
0:01:19 > 0:01:20Welcome to...
0:01:22 > 0:01:25X-Treme Survival, Imperial Russia.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28X-Treme Survival, tip one - food.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Crops have failed. What's more,
0:01:30 > 0:01:33the landowner's taking half of everything you have.
0:01:33 > 0:01:34You need to eat.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37Look around you. What do you see?
0:01:38 > 0:01:41Dead rat and rotten vegetables may not be tasty,
0:01:41 > 0:01:42but they can save your life.
0:01:44 > 0:01:48But what I like to do is order in a tonne of exotic food from abroad and
0:01:48 > 0:01:50have it shipped into Russia all year round.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52Great spread, Greg.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55That's X-Treme Survival.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59X-Treme Survival, tip two - warmth.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Winter is coming and in Russia, that means a white,
0:02:02 > 0:02:06frozen hell from which many people will never wake up.
0:02:06 > 0:02:11It's so cold that some people are frozen solid overnight.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17He'll be fine. You need to stay warm.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Look around you. What do you see?
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Yes, cows produce yummy milk.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23However, did you know that by
0:02:23 > 0:02:26letting one in your house it can also keep you warm?
0:02:26 > 0:02:30Sure, you'll be surrounded by cowpats, but you'll be alive.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32But what I like to do is to hunker
0:02:32 > 0:02:36down for the winter in one of my many warm palaces.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Good times. And that's...
0:02:39 > 0:02:40X-Treme Survival.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46X-Treme Survival, tip three - health.
0:02:46 > 0:02:50Fighting illness in such desolation is tough.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53How can you find medicine when things are so hard?
0:02:53 > 0:02:57Goose grass and pine oil are natural Russian remedies that can
0:02:57 > 0:03:00help fight cold and infection.
0:03:00 > 0:03:04But what I like to do is hire a mad monk called Rasputin who can
0:03:04 > 0:03:07apparently heal people with his hypnotic stare.
0:03:09 > 0:03:10And that's...
0:03:10 > 0:03:12X-Treme Survival.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15I should probably do more to help the peasants if I want to survive
0:03:15 > 0:03:18as ruler. But what I like to do is...
0:03:18 > 0:03:22Pretend nothing's wrong and leave Rasputin and my massively unpopular
0:03:22 > 0:03:25German wife in charge whilst I head off to war instead.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Guten Tag, peasant scum.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Feel the power of my stare.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35Oh, Rasputin, you're so amazing.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40I think she's feeling better now.
0:03:40 > 0:03:44I'm Tsar Nicholas II of Russia and this has been...
0:03:44 > 0:03:47X-Treme Survival: Imperial Russia.
0:03:50 > 0:03:51I can basically do anything I want.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53I mean, what's going to happen?
0:03:53 > 0:03:56A bunch of angry peasants are going to rise up and take over a
0:03:56 > 0:03:59300-year-old monarchy and kill us all?
0:03:59 > 0:04:01Dream onski!
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Argh!
0:04:03 > 0:04:06Greetings, comrade.
0:04:06 > 0:04:10I am Ratisov Ratisoyovich, Russian cousin to Rattus.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13He would have been here himself, but he was RUSSIAN about!
0:04:15 > 0:04:17RUSSIAN about!
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Eh? It's me in a big funny hat!
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Cor, no wonder the people in Russia
0:04:21 > 0:04:24weren't happy with a leader like Nicholas II.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27And there was a gang of revolutionary thinkers and fighters
0:04:27 > 0:04:33ready to take over, men whose names would go down in history like Lenin,
0:04:33 > 0:04:36the bold leader,
0:04:36 > 0:04:39Stalin, meaning man of steel,
0:04:39 > 0:04:43and Trotsky, the general.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45But let's start with the man who
0:04:45 > 0:04:47gave them the idea in the first place.
0:04:47 > 0:04:51His name was Karl Marx and he came from Germany.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54He lived 50 years before the revolution.
0:04:54 > 0:04:59The idea was called communism and it laid out the belief that countries
0:04:59 > 0:05:02should be ruled by the people for the people,
0:05:02 > 0:05:05with everyone being equal.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08Now, what could go wrong with that?
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Hi! I'm Karl Marx, the great
0:05:10 > 0:05:13historical thinker and big grey lion.
0:05:13 > 0:05:14It's September 1867
0:05:14 > 0:05:16and here's the history forecast,
0:05:16 > 0:05:20my prediction of how the world will develop over the next few years.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23So looking back first across the Middle Ages,
0:05:23 > 0:05:27we saw the kings and queens reigning very severely all across Europe.
0:05:27 > 0:05:28Oh.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Difficult conditions for most of us,
0:05:30 > 0:05:34a heavy scattering of poor peasants right up until the last couple of
0:05:34 > 0:05:36centuries, when a lot of these
0:05:36 > 0:05:40reigns suddenly ended and things started to brighten, yeah!
0:05:40 > 0:05:43So as we look ahead to the next few years,
0:05:43 > 0:05:44we're going to see poor people
0:05:44 > 0:05:47rising up and starting revolutions against
0:05:47 > 0:05:50the people who control all the factories and money.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53This will lead to scattered outbreaks of violence,
0:05:53 > 0:05:55so don't forget the umbrella!
0:05:55 > 0:05:57There's a good chance of bloodshed
0:05:57 > 0:05:59as we move forward into the next phase of history.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02By the time we reach the early 20th century,
0:06:02 > 0:06:05I predict the picture looks much more settled,
0:06:05 > 0:06:09with parts of Europe being ruled fairly, not by businessmen or kings,
0:06:09 > 0:06:12but by all of us, the people,
0:06:12 > 0:06:16and my new communist system will be sweeping across the planet,
0:06:16 > 0:06:19bringing a 100% chance of sunshine for everyone.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21At least, that's what I think.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23And when has the forecast ever been wrong?
0:06:23 > 0:06:25Goodnight.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Caviar is probably Russia's most famous dish.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31It's yummy salted fish eggs.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35Hang on, these aren't eggs.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37They're mouse droppings!
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Who's been using my bowl as a toilet?
0:06:39 > 0:06:42- GIGGLING - Honestly, you can't trust anyone.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45Marx certainly didn't trust the world's rulers.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49His view of communism was that the workers, not the rich,
0:06:49 > 0:06:50should run the country and the
0:06:50 > 0:06:54people should take control through a revolution.
0:06:54 > 0:06:58Marx's ideas became popular with a group of Russians called
0:06:58 > 0:07:00the Bolsheviks.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03They met in secret to discuss replacing the Romanov Tsar with the
0:07:03 > 0:07:06Bolshevik leader, Vladimir Lenin.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09And to keep everything really, really shtum,
0:07:09 > 0:07:12they would sometimes meet in rather unusual places.
0:07:14 > 0:07:18Comrades, our trip to London has been a great success.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20We have visited the British library,
0:07:20 > 0:07:22where Karl Marx wrote that all
0:07:22 > 0:07:24people should be equal and share everything
0:07:24 > 0:07:29fairly and I gave a fascinating lecture about the revolution.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32Then we visited Highgate Cemetery, where Karl Marx is buried,
0:07:32 > 0:07:37and I gave another fascinating lecture about the revolution.
0:07:37 > 0:07:41But today, my comrade Maxim Gorky informs me
0:07:41 > 0:07:43- that you would like to do something a little bit more...- Less boring.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Fun, I was going to say, but...
0:07:45 > 0:07:50So I have brought you here to London Zoo,
0:07:50 > 0:07:54where I will give a fascinating lecture about the revolution.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57The Tsars of Russia are our sworn enemy.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59To overcome these capitalist...
0:07:59 > 0:08:04- Ostriches!- No, pigs, we call them capitalist pigs, Gorky.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07The working man deserves fairness,
0:08:07 > 0:08:09but all the rich people care about is...
0:08:09 > 0:08:12- Penguins!- No, not penguins!
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Money, money, they care about money.
0:08:14 > 0:08:18Under communism, everything is shared out equally.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20We can save people from the horrors of...
0:08:20 > 0:08:23Ice cream! Get your ice cream!
0:08:23 > 0:08:25No, no, no. No, no, no.
0:08:25 > 0:08:26Back, back, back.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Communists do not want ice cream.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Come on, Lenin, it's a hot day.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Let us have a little treat.
0:08:32 > 0:08:33Fine, one lolly each.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35I would like a raspberry ripple.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38No, communism does not work that way.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40If everything is shared out equally,
0:08:40 > 0:08:42you cannot choose a raspberry ripple.
0:08:42 > 0:08:46So it's the will of the workers as long as they do whatever you say?
0:08:46 > 0:08:48You've got it. Well done.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50Right, just for that, you get blackcurrant.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Oh, I hate blackcurrant!
0:08:52 > 0:08:54I wanted strawberry.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Under communism...
0:08:56 > 0:08:57Right, you, stop it.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Viktor, isn't it? Look, have you
0:08:59 > 0:09:01even listened to a word I've been saying?
0:09:01 > 0:09:03Yes, Lenin, I totally loved it.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05You totally loved it?
0:09:05 > 0:09:07OK, which was your favourite bit, then?
0:09:07 > 0:09:10Erm, the bit with all the communism.
0:09:11 > 0:09:15Comrades, do you want to learn about...
0:09:15 > 0:09:18Comrades, there is a walrus in here that looks exactly like Lenin.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20You guys have to see this!
0:09:25 > 0:09:27I knew we should have gone roller-skating.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31Greetings, mortals.
0:09:31 > 0:09:38I am the adviser to the Tsarina of Russia, the very popular Rasputin.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Ouch!
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Oh, right in the...
0:09:42 > 0:09:45OK, so basically everyone hates me and I was eventually murdered by
0:09:45 > 0:09:47some of my many enemies.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50But how was I killed?
0:09:51 > 0:09:53Was I...
0:09:59 > 0:10:01The answer is...
0:10:01 > 0:10:03A, I was poisoned.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06And actually B, shot.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09And also C, drowned.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11I told you I wasn't popular.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13Oh! Oh! A-ha!
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Joke's on you.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18Mm, tangy.
0:10:18 > 0:10:22It's either a pink lady or it's been filled with deadly poison.
0:10:24 > 0:10:25Definitely poison.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Yeah, there's loads of poison in there,
0:10:28 > 0:10:30you can't even taste the apple.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33By now, Russia was fighting in the
0:10:33 > 0:10:36First World War and things were getting
0:10:36 > 0:10:38much worse for everyone.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40The people were at breaking point,
0:10:40 > 0:10:44but luckily Tsar Nicholas's attempts to cheer them up were wonderfully
0:10:44 > 0:10:46helpful... Nyet!
0:10:51 > 0:10:52Good news!
0:10:52 > 0:10:55Tsar Nicholas II has come to boost morale.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57On your feet.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02Hello! Hello, hello, hello, hello.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Jolly good to meet you.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07So what do you guys do?
0:11:07 > 0:11:10I am a soldier, Your Highness.
0:11:10 > 0:11:15Fantastic! What a stroke of luck because there's a war on, so...
0:11:15 > 0:11:17There's a war on, yeah?
0:11:17 > 0:11:19- Yeah.- Yeah! So what team do you support?
0:11:19 > 0:11:21What side are you on?
0:11:21 > 0:11:23I am Russian.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25Brilliant again!
0:11:25 > 0:11:29Cos we wouldn't want any Germans in here, would we?
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Because they're the enemy.
0:11:31 > 0:11:32Right?
0:11:32 > 0:11:37- Yeah.- Yeah.- If I may, Your Highness, we need supplies.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39We have no food. We are starving.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41- Right, yes.- And boots.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45We weren't issued with enough and I have eaten one of mine.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48- Very good.- And weapons.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50And that's something you'd like, is it?
0:11:50 > 0:11:53It is kind of tricky to fight a war without weapons.
0:11:53 > 0:11:57OK, well, look, the good news is I don't have any of those things,
0:11:57 > 0:12:00but I do have a photograph of me.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05That should boost morale a couple of notchinios, hm?
0:12:08 > 0:12:09A squiggle for you.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Brilliant.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15You don't know any decent restaurants around here, do you?
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Restaurants... No.
0:12:17 > 0:12:18No, no, you're the chap that ate the boot.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Come on, Greg, let's roll.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22I'm famished.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27If we get out of this alive,
0:12:27 > 0:12:28we have got to get rid of him.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Don't eat the photo.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37We interrupt this broadcast with some breaking news.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39It's February 1917 and revolution
0:12:39 > 0:12:41has broken out in the streets of Russia.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44We go live now to our reporter on the scene.
0:12:44 > 0:12:50I'm Katie Wool with news that Tsar Nicholas II has given up his throne.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53The people have had enough of his rule and are taking control.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Sorry to interrupt, Katie, but
0:12:55 > 0:12:57there's been some breaking breaking news.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59I'm Robin Persil. I'm here at Finland Station,
0:12:59 > 0:13:01which isn't in Finland,
0:13:01 > 0:13:04it's in St Petersburg, which is now called Petrograd.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07Chances are I'm not called Robin Persil any more!
0:13:08 > 0:13:11Either way, I have news of a surprise arrival.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Oh, and I think he's here now.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Way ahead of you, Robin, soz.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17And he's with me now.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Communist leader Vladimir Lenin.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Out of the country for ten years,
0:13:21 > 0:13:24you must be delighted with the reception.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27Comrades, it's great to be back in Russia! Yes, it is!
0:13:27 > 0:13:31With the Royal Family gone, everyone now needs to do as I...
0:13:31 > 0:13:33No, no, no, the people.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35As the people command!
0:13:35 > 0:13:36Sorry, Katie,
0:13:36 > 0:13:39this news just breaking is breaking news that's breaking now.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41Forces who are sympathetic to the
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Tsar are now fighting back against the Communists.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45I'm joined by Maria from the...
0:13:45 > 0:13:47Women's Battalion of Death!
0:13:47 > 0:13:48Oh, that's a cool name.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50And Peter from the...
0:13:50 > 0:13:52The Bicycle Battalion.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55- Yeah, not as good.- Communists, die!
0:13:56 > 0:13:58Hang on! I'm right behind you!
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Hold that. Maria!
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Is there a cycle lane?
0:14:02 > 0:14:04Old news, Robin.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06It's now October,
0:14:06 > 0:14:08the second revolution is in full
0:14:08 > 0:14:11swing and the communists are on the rise.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13You, old man, say words.
0:14:15 > 0:14:20Comrade Lenin is fighting to create a better world for working people.
0:14:20 > 0:14:21And what about those who say that
0:14:21 > 0:14:24Lenin makes other people do the fighting
0:14:24 > 0:14:26for him while he puts on a disguise and hides?
0:14:26 > 0:14:29Who said I...?
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Such liars are enemies of the people.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37Quick tip - a beard isn't a great
0:14:37 > 0:14:39disguise if you already have a beard.
0:14:39 > 0:14:43Sorry to interrupt, Katie, but one, I'm not, and two,
0:14:43 > 0:14:46I am inside the Winter Palace, the Tsar's home,
0:14:46 > 0:14:49which has been taken over by the Communists.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51I can now speak to two of the
0:14:51 > 0:14:53leaders of the new October Revolution,
0:14:53 > 0:14:56Leon Trotsky and Joseph Stalin.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58Guys, congratulations.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00Da, it is a victory for all working people,
0:15:00 > 0:15:05but as the leader of the troops, I am especially proud of...
0:15:05 > 0:15:09Oh, it says in the paper here that I was more of a leader than you.
0:15:09 > 0:15:13- Oh!- You are the editor of the newspaper. You wrote it yourself.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Only because it is true.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17Do you think you're better than me?
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Oh, no, you better did not!
0:15:19 > 0:15:22- Oh, no, you didn't!- It's really kicking off in here!
0:15:22 > 0:15:24I have to interrupt your boring report, Robin,
0:15:24 > 0:15:28because I am once more with the main man himself, Vladimir Lenin,
0:15:28 > 0:15:31arriving at the Winter Palace.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Are the soldiers gone?
0:15:33 > 0:15:35Yes, victory is yours.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37How do you feel?
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Once the revolution is complete
0:15:39 > 0:15:42there will be no more inequality, no war, no conflict.
0:15:42 > 0:15:46Everybody will live in peace.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49Hi, there, Robin Persil here, reporting live.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52- I'm Katie...- And I'm Robin...
0:15:52 > 0:15:54Thank you, Robin, thank you, Katie.
0:15:54 > 0:15:58We'll keep you up to date with any further developments.
0:15:58 > 0:16:03The revolution soon spread from Russia to other countries around
0:16:03 > 0:16:05its border and together they became
0:16:05 > 0:16:08known as the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, or...
0:16:18 > 0:16:21# So we won the day, it's all changed here, a new country
0:16:21 > 0:16:24# Russia now but a union
0:16:24 > 0:16:28# Of Soviet Socialist Republics
0:16:28 > 0:16:31# Don't exactly roll off the tongue
0:16:31 > 0:16:34# So we say USSR
0:16:34 > 0:16:37# Sounds great when played on guitar, boy
0:16:37 > 0:16:40# Yes, we're the USSR
0:16:42 > 0:16:44# Marx said it couldn't work
0:16:44 > 0:16:48# And Russia said it would never stick, ha!
0:16:48 > 0:16:52# But in 1922 and in other countries too
0:16:52 > 0:16:56# And in the future we became even more big, big, gigantic
0:16:56 > 0:16:59# Let me tell ya
0:16:59 > 0:17:02# Revolution here has been a great success
0:17:02 > 0:17:05# Red's no longer under the bed
0:17:05 > 0:17:09# Nicholas II everybody reckons
0:17:09 > 0:17:11# Much better ruler now he's dead
0:17:11 > 0:17:14# I'm back in USSR
0:17:14 > 0:17:18# We said ta-ta to the tsar boy
0:17:18 > 0:17:23# Back in USS, back in USS, back in USSR! #
0:17:24 > 0:17:27So now Lenin and his Bolsheviks were
0:17:27 > 0:17:30in charge and that was the end of the Russian royal family.
0:17:30 > 0:17:34They came to a sticky end, I'm afraid to say.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38Communism spread to other countries near Russia and together they became
0:17:38 > 0:17:41the Soviet Union or
0:17:41 > 0:17:43the USSR.
0:17:43 > 0:17:47Lenin ruled for seven years and died in 1924,
0:17:47 > 0:17:51but just because he died doesn't mean you can't still visit him...
0:17:59 > 0:18:00Pryvet!
0:18:00 > 0:18:03You know, a lot of people say to me, "Comrade Lenin,
0:18:03 > 0:18:06"how do you keep your skin looking so young,
0:18:06 > 0:18:08"given that you are dead and everything?"
0:18:09 > 0:18:13My secret - Lenin's Revolutionary Embalming Process.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16It's so easy - simply die,
0:18:16 > 0:18:20lie back, and let Russia's finest boffins do the work.
0:18:20 > 0:18:21Here's the science bit.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24First, they remove your brain and all your organs.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Next, they fill you with
0:18:26 > 0:18:29formaldehyde and gently apply a cleansing bleach
0:18:29 > 0:18:32to keep your skin looking young and free of telltale fungus,
0:18:32 > 0:18:34and in no time at all, you, too,
0:18:34 > 0:18:37will be looking as good as the day you died...
0:18:37 > 0:18:38nearly 100 years ago.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Come see for yourself.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43I'm still around today.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46Red Square Moscow open ten to one, Tuesday to Thursday.
0:18:46 > 0:18:47No dogs allowed. Still got it!
0:18:51 > 0:18:54Lenin's Revolutionary Embalming Process,
0:18:54 > 0:18:56because I am worth it, comrades, nyet?
0:19:03 > 0:19:06Now we have a new man in power and he was
0:19:06 > 0:19:07planning to stay there.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Whoa!
0:19:09 > 0:19:12Joseph Stalin killed or imprisoned anyone who spoke out against him.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15It's no wonder we were all terrified of him.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17He even had the history books,
0:19:17 > 0:19:20photos and newspapers changed to make him look good.
0:19:20 > 0:19:25And that wasn't all - they even changed the children's stories.
0:19:25 > 0:19:29Uncle Joe Stalin's Nursery Rhymes,
0:19:29 > 0:19:3450 classic children's songs heavily edited by our great leader to turn
0:19:34 > 0:19:37every child into an obedient little Stalinist,
0:19:37 > 0:19:40including his favourite, Old MacDonald.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43# Old MacDonald had a farm
0:19:43 > 0:19:45# That Stalin took away
0:19:45 > 0:19:48# Now no farmers own their farms
0:19:48 > 0:19:50# And that's A-OK
0:19:50 > 0:19:52# With forced labour here and forced labour there
0:19:52 > 0:19:54# Here forced labour, there forced labour
0:19:54 > 0:19:56# Everywhere there's forced labour. #
0:19:56 > 0:19:59And this much improved version of Clap Your Hands...
0:19:59 > 0:20:03# If you're happy with Stalin clap your hands
0:20:03 > 0:20:06# If you're happy with Stalin clap your hands
0:20:06 > 0:20:09# If you're happy with Stalin then you really need to show it
0:20:09 > 0:20:13# If you're happy with Stalin clap your hands. #
0:20:14 > 0:20:16And don't stop for at least 11 minutes.
0:20:16 > 0:20:20Otherwise, he will put you in labour camp for ten years.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23And who could forget I Knew An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly?
0:20:24 > 0:20:27# I knew an old lady who swallowed a fly... #
0:20:27 > 0:20:28And that was enough food for her.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30She didn't overeat like a capitalist pig.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32STOMACH GURGLES
0:20:32 > 0:20:34And many, many more.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Remember, it's never too early to start brainwashing your kids.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Buy it now.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40I said now!
0:20:42 > 0:20:46But Russia is a wonderful place, too, and throughout history,
0:20:46 > 0:20:49many powerful leaders have tried to invade and conquer Russia,
0:20:49 > 0:20:53but they all found out the hard way, it's not as easy as it looks.
0:20:57 > 0:20:58Hey, guys, Dave TDS here.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Now, loads of you have been messaging in saying, "Dave,
0:21:01 > 0:21:03"have you ever tried invading Russia?"
0:21:03 > 0:21:05"And I'm, like, 'No, I totally haven't.'"
0:21:05 > 0:21:07So in today's video, we're going to give it a go.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09It's 1707, and we're going to invade
0:21:09 > 0:21:11Russia as King Charles XII of Sweden.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13We're on the Peter the Great level.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15OK, my plan is to attack quickly and...
0:21:15 > 0:21:18Hey, they're running away! No way! I haven't even started.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Let's chase them, grab some food and power-ups.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22This is too easy.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Uh-oh, what's Scorched Earth?
0:21:24 > 0:21:27The Russians are setting fire to all the food and power ups.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Peter the Great Big Cheat, more like.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31No! Russian Winter!
0:21:31 > 0:21:33We've been totally iced.
0:21:33 > 0:21:37Oh, game over for me and the entire Swedish Empire.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40OK, let's go again. This time it's 1812 and I can't lose
0:21:40 > 0:21:43as I'm fighting as the big man, the great Napoleon.
0:21:43 > 0:21:47Now, Napoleon can pretty much call up all the French people to fight,
0:21:47 > 0:21:49so my army is mega-huge.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Never mind a walk-through, this is going to be a walkover.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Guys. Not this time, fellas.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55There's ages till the Russian winter.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57All I have to do is get to Moscow.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00Yeah, I've taken the city and...
0:22:00 > 0:22:01They set it on fire!
0:22:01 > 0:22:03It's your own city, guys!
0:22:03 > 0:22:07Seriously? OK, got me a bit of time before winter...
0:22:07 > 0:22:09No! Beaten by the winter again.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12OMG, disaster.
0:22:12 > 0:22:17This time it's 1941 and I'm Hitler's Operation Barbarossa invading the
0:22:17 > 0:22:19USSR. I'm facing the end-of-level
0:22:19 > 0:22:22boss Stalin and I am not messing about this time.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24I've got the biggest military force ever assembled and Hitler's
0:22:24 > 0:22:26special move.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Hey, they're running away!
0:22:28 > 0:22:31It doesn't matter, guys, I'm ready for them this time.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33I can still catch them at Stalingrad with
0:22:33 > 0:22:35my tanks and... Wow.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38This is new.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Stalin has used his Women And Children special move.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42His troops are fighting like mad to protect them.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44This guy's crazy.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48I'm still stronger than him, so as long as we can avoid winter...
0:22:48 > 0:22:50No! No way, I've lost again!
0:22:51 > 0:22:54So if this game teaches us anything,
0:22:54 > 0:22:58the best tip for invading Russia is don't even bother.
0:22:58 > 0:23:02See you later! Bye!
0:23:02 > 0:23:06It's not surprising that despite helping win the Second World War,
0:23:06 > 0:23:09Stalin now had rivals all around the world,
0:23:09 > 0:23:12even in other countries that were now communist too.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Like Chairman Mao, the leader of China.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19Ah, Marshall Zuko,
0:23:19 > 0:23:23this is an auspicious occasion for the day we take action against the
0:23:23 > 0:23:26Soviet Union's great rival...
0:23:26 > 0:23:27Chairman Mao of China.
0:23:27 > 0:23:31I shall mobilise our armed forces immediately, Comrade Stalin.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33This will not be a military attack.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36Espionage, then? We shall send our best spies.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Espionage is but a small part of it.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40- Assassination?- No.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42- Propaganda?- Warmer.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45- Do you want to just tell me? - I was enjoying that, but whatever.
0:23:45 > 0:23:49I want you to steal the Chinese leader's poo-poo.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53I'm hoping that's the name of his panda.
0:23:53 > 0:23:58Nope. Our gadget maker Q-ovich has come up with this.
0:23:58 > 0:23:59A toilet?
0:23:59 > 0:24:03A toilet that will take away Chairman Mao's poo-poo.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05But don't all toilets...?
0:24:05 > 0:24:08Take away his poo-poo and store it, Marshall,
0:24:08 > 0:24:10so that you can collect it.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13It'll be a big job, but I think you can handle it.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17What we find in this toilet, we will use against him.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19What are you going to do?
0:24:19 > 0:24:23- Throw it at him?- No, Marshall, the information,
0:24:23 > 0:24:27we will use the information against him. What he eats, what he drinks,
0:24:27 > 0:24:32what makes him ill. The poo is like a little brown crystal ball.
0:24:32 > 0:24:36So, Marshall, what do you think of my plan?
0:24:36 > 0:24:41Erm, Comrade Stalin, are you sure about this?
0:24:41 > 0:24:45I mean, what's better than conventional espionage?
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Es-poo-onage, that's what!
0:24:49 > 0:24:50Don't forget to wash your hands.
0:24:53 > 0:24:57It's true, Stalin really was so suspicious of Chairman Mao that he
0:24:57 > 0:25:00was looking into his business.
0:25:00 > 0:25:04He was his number two priority, ha-ha-ha!
0:25:04 > 0:25:06But Mao wasn't his only rival.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09In the years after the Second World War,
0:25:09 > 0:25:11a different kind of war developed.
0:25:11 > 0:25:16A subtle, secret war of spies, threats, propaganda,
0:25:16 > 0:25:20assassinations and nuclear weapons.
0:25:20 > 0:25:24The two main enemies were the USA and the USSR.
0:25:24 > 0:25:28They never actually went into physical battle against each other.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30This war was called
0:25:30 > 0:25:31the Cold War.
0:25:34 > 0:25:38The Soviet Union has declared war with the west.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40I'm Katie Wool here with
0:25:40 > 0:25:43former British Prime Minister Winston Churchill.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45Winston, what's happening?
0:25:45 > 0:25:46Absolutely nothing.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48It's a Cold War.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Right, a Cold War, what's that?
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Do the soldiers sneeze on each other?
0:25:52 > 0:25:55No. From Stettin in the north to
0:25:55 > 0:25:59Trieste in the south, an Iron Curtain
0:25:59 > 0:26:03here has descended across Europe, separating East from West.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06I wouldn't want to iron that curtain.
0:26:06 > 0:26:07No, it's not an actual curtain.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10It's a metaphor to illustrate a point.
0:26:10 > 0:26:14Sorry, Sophie, your curtain might not be real, but this wall is.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16It's the Berlin Wall.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19It's 1961 and all around the western half of Berlin,
0:26:19 > 0:26:22which is in the middle of Russian-controlled East Germany,
0:26:22 > 0:26:25a wall is being built to stop people escaping.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28I'm joined now by east German leader Walter Ulbricht.
0:26:28 > 0:26:32Now, Walter, how long will the wall be when it's finished?
0:26:32 > 0:26:34About 91 miles.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37OK, and wouldn't it be a lot cheaper to use a curtain like they have in
0:26:37 > 0:26:40- Russia?- It's not a real curtain!
0:26:40 > 0:26:42And that's an exclusive.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44I'm going to have to interrupt you there, Robin,
0:26:44 > 0:26:47as I am with someone much more important than you.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50Leader of the USSR Nikita Khrushchev,
0:26:50 > 0:26:52is this a real war or not?
0:26:52 > 0:26:56Well, Katie, there's plenty of fighting going on
0:26:56 > 0:26:59here, here, here and, erm, here.
0:26:59 > 0:27:03But if your enemy is the West, why not just fight America and Britain?
0:27:03 > 0:27:05That is a good question.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08Come with me. That is why we have this red button here.
0:27:08 > 0:27:12Don't worry, I just touch it for demonstration purposes.
0:27:13 > 0:27:18You see, this button would unleash a huge nuclear attack against all the
0:27:18 > 0:27:21countries of the west. Yes, they have one too, aimed at us,
0:27:21 > 0:27:24so nobody dares to push it otherwise the whole world goes -
0:27:24 > 0:27:27how you say in English - KABOOM!
0:27:27 > 0:27:29But that's mad.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32Yes, MAD. Mutually assured destruction.
0:27:32 > 0:27:35Exactly. Oh, thank you.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38- No!- Don't worry, I'm just putting my coffee cup down.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41He's very anxious, I apologise about him.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43This is not a cappuccino!
0:27:43 > 0:27:45This is a latte! What you do?!
0:27:45 > 0:27:48- Please!- Hey, don't worry about it, I just got a little bit angry.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50So very nervous.
0:27:50 > 0:27:53Stop looking at... You don't want me to touch it?
0:27:53 > 0:27:55Oh! Oh, I nearly touch!
0:27:55 > 0:27:57- Stop, please!- I going to...? Oh!
0:27:57 > 0:28:00No, please, please!
0:28:10 > 0:28:12Oh! I'm all right.
0:28:12 > 0:28:16Oh, well, so much for the big Cossack dance dancing finish.
0:28:16 > 0:28:19In the end, after a long, painful Cold War,
0:28:19 > 0:28:21people got fed up with the way
0:28:21 > 0:28:23communism tried to control their lives,
0:28:23 > 0:28:26just like they got fed up with the Tsars,
0:28:26 > 0:28:28even though the idea was everyone should be equal,
0:28:28 > 0:28:31people were still being oppressed by the government.
0:28:31 > 0:28:33Communism fell apart across Europe,
0:28:33 > 0:28:36the walls between the two sides came down,
0:28:36 > 0:28:38like the Berlin Wall in 1989,
0:28:38 > 0:28:41and two years later, the Soviet Union itself
0:28:41 > 0:28:44collapsed and went back to being 15 separate countries.
0:28:44 > 0:28:46I wonder what Lenin,
0:28:46 > 0:28:50Stalin and all those revolutionaries from 100 years ago would
0:28:50 > 0:28:52have thought about that...
0:28:58 > 0:29:02# We used to rule the universe
0:29:02 > 0:29:05# Think we're bad? We thought the tsars much worse
0:29:05 > 0:29:08# In '61 the Soviets split Berlin
0:29:08 > 0:29:12- # Built a wall to keep you out - And their people locked in
0:29:12 > 0:29:16# In 1917 we fought the Tsar
0:29:16 > 0:29:19# The empire strikes back but can't beat our star
0:29:19 > 0:29:23# Our comradeship said all men are equal
0:29:23 > 0:29:27# Except when it's more equal in our Tsar Wars sequel
0:29:27 > 0:29:29# Back in the day for the workers we fight
0:29:29 > 0:29:33# Against the capitalists but I'm outta sight
0:29:33 > 0:29:37# Unlike China who still have their wall
0:29:37 > 0:29:40# This was a wall that was doomed to fall
0:29:40 > 0:29:44# Country after country they've had enough
0:29:44 > 0:29:47# To the Soviet Union they said get stuffed
0:29:47 > 0:29:51# Like Wizard of Oz they don't lead us ruthless
0:29:51 > 0:29:55# Pulled back iron curtain to leave us toothless
0:29:55 > 0:29:58# By 1989 the masses revolted... #
0:29:58 > 0:30:01Hey, Joe! Remind you of anything?
0:30:01 > 0:30:05# Want revolution? Now in Berlin you got one
0:30:05 > 0:30:10# Turns out tsar not the only problem
0:30:14 > 0:30:18# Weren't trying to build an empire but hey
0:30:18 > 0:30:21# Just seemed to kind of end up that way
0:30:21 > 0:30:25# Back then our people told the tsars to go
0:30:25 > 0:30:29# Only this time we were the hated foe
0:30:29 > 0:30:33# The people gave the Berlin wall some welly
0:30:33 > 0:30:36# First revolution to be watched on telly
0:30:36 > 0:30:40# Hated state cops were called the Stasi
0:30:40 > 0:30:43# Now so scared, locked themselves in the khazi
0:30:43 > 0:30:46# Country after country they've had enough
0:30:46 > 0:30:50# To the Soviet Union they said get stuffed
0:30:50 > 0:30:53# Like Wizard of Oz they don't lead us ruthless
0:30:53 > 0:30:57# Pulled back iron curtain to leave us toothless
0:30:57 > 0:31:00# Berlin reunited without firing a shot
0:31:00 > 0:31:04# The locals got rid of our communist bomb
0:31:04 > 0:31:07# Our hopes and dreams took a turn for the worst
0:31:07 > 0:31:11# And we no longer ruled the universe. #
0:31:16 > 0:31:18Oh! Almost!
0:31:21 > 0:31:23A-ha!
0:31:24 > 0:31:26What's that line...
0:31:26 > 0:31:28# The past is no longer a mystery
0:31:28 > 0:31:30# Hope you enjoyed
0:31:30 > 0:31:33# Horrible Histories. #