0:00:02 > 0:00:03# Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians
0:00:03 > 0:00:04# Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians
0:00:04 > 0:00:07- # Woeful wars, ferocious fights - Dingy castles, daring knights
0:00:07 > 0:00:09- # Horrors that defy description - Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians
0:00:09 > 0:00:12- # Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes - Punishment from ancient times
0:00:12 > 0:00:13# Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless
0:00:13 > 0:00:15# Cavemen, savage, fierce and toothless
0:00:15 > 0:00:18- # Groovy Greeks, brainy sages - Mean and measly Middle Ages
0:00:18 > 0:00:20# Gory stories, we do that
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# And your host, a talking rat
0:00:23 > 0:00:26# The past is no longer a mystery
0:00:26 > 0:00:27# Welcome to...
0:00:27 > 0:00:31# Horrible Histories. #
0:00:31 > 0:00:34Horrible Histories presents...
0:00:37 > 0:00:42New from Horrible Music, the enchanting sounds of prehistory.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44It's Neanderthal Choral Classics.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48Before instruments, before real language, before modern humans,
0:00:48 > 0:00:51there lived Neanderthals, with their beautiful voice.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53SQUAWKS
0:00:53 > 0:00:57Relax and unwind with a selection of timeless classics.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59The golden age of rock.
0:00:59 > 0:01:00Well, rocks.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02From massive club hits...
0:01:02 > 0:01:04Aaah!
0:01:04 > 0:01:06..to haunting romantic duets.
0:01:06 > 0:01:07Woman!
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Berries!
0:01:09 > 0:01:12The unique shape of the Neanderthal throat
0:01:12 > 0:01:14combined with their powerful chest and massive noses
0:01:14 > 0:01:16creates a sound you'll never forget.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18THEY SCREECH
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Just perfect for soothing lullabies.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22# BABY SLEEP!
0:01:22 > 0:01:24# BABY SLEEP! #
0:01:24 > 0:01:25BABY CRIES
0:01:25 > 0:01:28Yeah! He's singing!
0:01:28 > 0:01:31For the first time on one compilation...
0:01:31 > 0:01:36SINGS TUNELESS SCALE
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Neanderthal Choral Classics - the unique sound
0:01:42 > 0:01:44that will echo through the ages.
0:01:44 > 0:01:48Order today and get a free mammoth song relaxation CD.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51- Mammoth! - TRUMPETING, SCREAMING
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Neanderthal Choral Classics.
0:01:58 > 0:01:59It's a mammoth hit!
0:01:59 > 0:02:01What a racket.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03Even I could do better than that.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06So I'm starting a band.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09We'll be the biggest rat sensation since The Squeakend.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11The Squeakend!
0:02:11 > 0:02:13All I need is a name, some songs
0:02:13 > 0:02:15and some bandmates.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18Easy! I could have three cats fighting in a cupboard
0:02:18 > 0:02:21and sound less scary than those Neanderthals.
0:02:21 > 0:02:26Mind you, there was a time when music was meant to be scary.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29Er, where do you think you're off to, young Celt?
0:02:29 > 0:02:31I'm off out to play with my axe.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34What about your music lesson? Your teacher will be here any minute.
0:02:34 > 0:02:38- Oh, Ma.- I didnae spend two weeks' peat harvest
0:02:38 > 0:02:39on a brand-new carnyx war horn
0:02:39 > 0:02:42for you to leave it hanging up on the hut wall.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44I hate the stupid carnyx.
0:02:44 > 0:02:45CRASH, WHINNYING
0:02:45 > 0:02:46You'll not be saying that
0:02:46 > 0:02:49when you've led your tribe into battle against the Romans with it,
0:02:49 > 0:02:52wee man. Noo then, let's hear the piece you've been working on.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54HE SIGHS
0:02:56 > 0:02:59STUTTERY TUNELESS SQUALL
0:02:59 > 0:03:02What was that supposed to be?!
0:03:02 > 0:03:05This is how it's supposed to sound.
0:03:05 > 0:03:10DEEP RESONANT NOTE
0:03:12 > 0:03:16Oh! That was absolutely shocking.
0:03:16 > 0:03:17Cheers.
0:03:17 > 0:03:21You see? The carnyx is meant to strike fear into the heart
0:03:21 > 0:03:23of whoever hears it.
0:03:23 > 0:03:24Try again.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29OFF-KEY NOTES
0:03:29 > 0:03:31You're getting worse!
0:03:31 > 0:03:32Well done.
0:03:32 > 0:03:36I wish my parents had made me learn when I was a bairn.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38It's never too late, you know!
0:03:38 > 0:03:39RUMBLING
0:03:39 > 0:03:41You sound quite dreadful,
0:03:41 > 0:03:43but you're still not giving me nightmares. Again.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46RESONANT NOTE, RUMBLING
0:03:48 > 0:03:51That was it! Look!
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Your neighbours are running for the Trossachs!
0:03:53 > 0:03:55And your mother's ears are bleeding.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57You did that.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01ECHOING DEEP RESONANT NOTE
0:04:03 > 0:04:05PTHRRT!
0:04:05 > 0:04:08- Smell that, son?- Aye.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11You just made me broon my breeks.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Same time next week?
0:04:16 > 0:04:17Oh, son!
0:04:17 > 0:04:19You've made your old ma...
0:04:19 > 0:04:21- FARTING - ..proud.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27We Vikings can be pretty terrifying, too,
0:04:27 > 0:04:29and scare the living daylights out of our enemies.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Although not with our music.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35What we sometimes listen to might surprise you.
0:04:35 > 0:04:36CHEERING
0:04:36 > 0:04:40By Odin, what a great battle!
0:04:40 > 0:04:45100 Anglo-Saxons are no match for even one Viking warrior.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47- Ho!- It's so cool when we do that.
0:04:47 > 0:04:52Now, are there any Anglo-Saxons left in the village?
0:04:52 > 0:04:54- No, sire. We chased them all away. - Good.
0:04:54 > 0:04:59Well, in that case, are you ready to party hard?
0:04:59 > 0:05:01CHEERING
0:05:01 > 0:05:04A-one, a-two, a-one, two, three, four!
0:05:04 > 0:05:07GENTLE TINKLING MUSIC
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Join in if you know the moves!
0:05:14 > 0:05:15SNORT
0:05:15 > 0:05:18What was that noise?
0:05:18 > 0:05:19Was it my little bell?
0:05:19 > 0:05:21- Do it again. - TINKLING
0:05:21 > 0:05:23- SNORT - There it was again!
0:05:23 > 0:05:26We cannot have anyone know about these little dances.
0:05:26 > 0:05:30Don't worry, sire. It was probably the wistful sigh
0:05:30 > 0:05:34of an ancestor's spirit, also wanting to throw some shapes.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36And who can blame them?
0:05:36 > 0:05:39In which case, rewind!
0:05:41 > 0:05:43CACKLING
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Look, it's a Saxon!
0:05:47 > 0:05:49I can't breathe! I can't breathe!
0:05:49 > 0:05:51You cannot tell anyone what you saw this evening.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53You're joking!
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Hey, everyone! Come and look at these scary Vikings!
0:05:56 > 0:05:58HE MIMICS MUSIC
0:06:00 > 0:06:04You're really leaving me with absolutely no choice in this.
0:06:04 > 0:06:05Yurgh!
0:06:05 > 0:06:07That was harsh.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Shall we continue?
0:06:09 > 0:06:10TINKLING STARTS
0:06:10 > 0:06:13No, no. Huge buzzkill.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16Huge buzzkill for me.
0:06:17 > 0:06:18Flail along at home
0:06:18 > 0:06:22with Now That's What I Call... Whipping Songs 14th Century.
0:06:22 > 0:06:26# Cos if you want to free yourself from sin
0:06:26 > 0:06:30# Then, baby, you should go and whip yourself. #
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Ooh! Aaah!
0:06:32 > 0:06:35It's the popular music craze that's trudging semi-naked across Europe
0:06:35 > 0:06:39and whipping away its sins so God will take away the plague.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42Now That's What I Call Whipping Songs 14th Century.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45# Too late now to say sorry
0:06:45 > 0:06:48# Cos we've got boils all over our body. #
0:06:48 > 0:06:49Ow!
0:06:49 > 0:06:51It's nonstop hits, and slaps, and slashes,
0:06:51 > 0:06:54and the more of us that whip ourselves along to the music,
0:06:54 > 0:06:57the more God will see we're sorry, and maybe take the plague away.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Please, please, take it away.
0:06:59 > 0:07:04# We're going to party like it's 1312 tonight. Come on!
0:07:04 > 0:07:06# Cos all I need to make my body ripped
0:07:06 > 0:07:09# Is a great big leather whip. #
0:07:09 > 0:07:10Ow!
0:07:10 > 0:07:15Now That's What I Call Whipping Songs 14th Century.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Yes, it's true. Some people in the Middle Ages
0:07:18 > 0:07:21really did sing whilst whipping themselves.
0:07:21 > 0:07:26Well, that's one dance craze my new group won't be doing.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Yes, it's time to meet my band!
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Hairy Styles,
0:07:30 > 0:07:31Justin Sewerpipe,
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Flusher, and Stayn Malik.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35SPLASH
0:07:35 > 0:07:36Oh! Stayn's quit already.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39Never mind! We'll carry on without him.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42Now, we need to come up with something new.
0:07:42 > 0:07:47Maybe we can get some inspiration from this incredible composer.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49'With her school at the bottom of the league table
0:07:49 > 0:07:50'and in danger of being relegated,
0:07:50 > 0:07:52'head teacher Hannah Lawrence
0:07:52 > 0:07:54'is under pressure to improve results.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57'This...is Historical Educating.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00'It's Wednesday morning,
0:08:00 > 0:08:02'and class 7F have a new music teacher.'
0:08:02 > 0:08:04Wolfgang Amadeus...
0:08:04 > 0:08:06Mozart! HE CHUCKLES
0:08:06 > 0:08:09But you can call me...Mr Genius. Ja?
0:08:10 > 0:08:12What better music teacher than Mozart?
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Writing music by the age of four,
0:08:14 > 0:08:16first symphony when he was eight.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19The kids can look at him and say, "I can do that."
0:08:19 > 0:08:20I mean, obviously they CAN'T do it,
0:08:20 > 0:08:23they're already too old, but... still.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26OK, so you all know my stuff, right?
0:08:26 > 0:08:29Of course you do, of course you do. What about this one?
0:08:29 > 0:08:31MUSIC: Piano Sonata No.16 in C major by Mozart
0:08:31 > 0:08:33- ALL:- No.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36OK. What about...this one?
0:08:36 > 0:08:38MUSIC: Symphony No.40 in G minor by Mozart
0:08:38 > 0:08:39Lovely. Ja?
0:08:39 > 0:08:40- ALL:- No.
0:08:40 > 0:08:44Come on, you guys. OK, what about...this one?
0:08:44 > 0:08:46MUSIC: Eine kleine Nachtmusik, 1st movement by Mozart
0:08:46 > 0:08:48- ALL:- No.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51Look, I have written over 200 hours of this music, so
0:08:51 > 0:08:53I'm just going to keep playing and playing
0:08:53 > 0:08:55until somebody recognises something.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57- ALL:- Oh, yeah... - Oh, you know it?
0:08:57 > 0:08:59It's your favourite one, I thought so.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02So we can all agree that I am Mr Genius, ja?
0:09:02 > 0:09:04HE FARTS
0:09:05 > 0:09:07OK - who is playing the trouser trumpet?
0:09:09 > 0:09:12I am yanking your chain - it was me!
0:09:12 > 0:09:15I find ge-pumping to be, how you say, hilarious.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17I do! I do, really do.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19HE FARTS "EINE KLEINE NACHTMUSIK"
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Sir... Can we learn some ACTUAL music now?
0:09:28 > 0:09:30In a moment.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32And...can somebody open a window?
0:09:32 > 0:09:35'Mozart is called into the head teacher's office.'
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Come in, Mr Mozart.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44Is there something the matter, Mrs McSmackybottom?
0:09:44 > 0:09:46Not my name - but, yes, there is something the matter.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50I understand your teaching methods are a little...off-the-cuff.
0:09:50 > 0:09:51HE LAUGHS
0:09:51 > 0:09:55- Guff! You said "off the guff"! - You can't behave like that.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Honestly, if Ofsted get wind of this...
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Wind! You did actually say "wind" that time.
0:09:59 > 0:10:00You're fired.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02What?
0:10:02 > 0:10:04You can't fire ME. I'm a genius.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06A genius who needs a new job.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Job! "Job", that means "poo-poo".
0:10:09 > 0:10:12Yeah, I'll...I'll see mein-self out.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16There was just one more thing... HE FARTS
0:10:18 > 0:10:22Hi. I'm world-famous musician and pianist Mozart.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24No, not THAT Mozart -
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Wolfgang's my annoying little brother.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30I'm Maria Anna, and I was super-famous for my piano playing.
0:10:30 > 0:10:31I started when I was eight,
0:10:31 > 0:10:34and I played to sell-out crowds all across Europe.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37But can you guess what happened to me when I turned 18? Did I...
0:10:46 > 0:10:48The answer is...
0:10:48 > 0:10:51B. I stayed in Salzburg and gave up performing.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Ja. Then I turned 18. My dad stopped me performing,
0:10:54 > 0:10:56because he said I had to get married.
0:10:56 > 0:11:00So my little brother Wolfgang took over and became famous instead.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02So annoying!
0:11:02 > 0:11:07That's totes annoying, Maria Anna. YOU'RE the best - obvs.
0:11:07 > 0:11:11If only there was some way to prove it. I know - a musical duel.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13It's been done, you know.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15The German pianist Daniel Steibelt
0:11:15 > 0:11:18once challenged the great Ludwig van Beethoven
0:11:18 > 0:11:22to a piano duel - and there could be only one winner.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25THEY CHAT
0:11:25 > 0:11:28Ludwig van Beethoven.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31Greatest composer of all time.
0:11:31 > 0:11:32You're too kind.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35I challenge you to a duel.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Ja. No, thanks.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Why? You...
0:11:40 > 0:11:42- ..chicken? - LADIES GASP, MUSIC STOPS
0:11:42 > 0:11:45HE CLUCKS BEETHOVEN'S 5TH SYMPHONY
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Stop it!
0:11:50 > 0:11:53Nobody calls Beethoven "chicken".
0:11:53 > 0:11:56Gentlemen...choose your weapon.
0:11:58 > 0:11:59I choose...
0:11:59 > 0:12:02this piece. By Mozart.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Well...
0:12:04 > 0:12:06in that case, I'm going to give you
0:12:06 > 0:12:08- a good "Haydn". - ALL GROAN
0:12:10 > 0:12:11Joseph Haydn.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13Wow. Tough crowd.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16Round one...
0:12:16 > 0:12:19MUSIC: Piano Sonata in A major by Mozart
0:12:23 > 0:12:27MUSIC: Sonata No.60 in C major by Haydn
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Round two...
0:12:31 > 0:12:38MUSIC: Piano Sonata No.11 in B flat major by Beethoven
0:12:43 > 0:12:45CLAPPING
0:12:45 > 0:12:47And now, gentlemen,
0:12:47 > 0:12:49you must both play a piece of music
0:12:49 > 0:12:51that you have never seen before.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57MUSIC: Piano Sonata No.11 in B flat major by Beethoven
0:13:00 > 0:13:03HE PLAYS A DUFF NOTE, ALL GROAN
0:13:10 > 0:13:13ALL GASP
0:13:13 > 0:13:15MUSIC: Concerto in G minor, No.6 by Steibelt
0:13:32 > 0:13:34CLAPPING
0:13:35 > 0:13:38Ha-ha! I could beat you in my sleep.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Fine, you win! You win.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49HE PLAYS A FINAL FLOURISH
0:13:52 > 0:13:58'It's The H Factor! Where the real superstars are the composers!
0:14:00 > 0:14:04'The first hopeful to see the judges...
0:14:04 > 0:14:06'is Ludwig van Beethoven!'
0:14:08 > 0:14:12OK. So, Beethoven. Why do you think you've got the H Factor?
0:14:12 > 0:14:14I can't hear you. I've gone deaf.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16But despite my deafness,
0:14:16 > 0:14:20many people still consider me the greatest composer of all time.
0:14:20 > 0:14:25Yeah, you know...there IS such a thing as overconfidence, Ludwig.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32MUSIC: Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven
0:14:35 > 0:14:38No... No, no. Two words. Bor-ing.
0:14:38 > 0:14:42I think you're wrong, Simon, you've got it all...
0:14:42 > 0:14:45I think you are an absolute star, I love it. It's a yes from me.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49Sorry, darling, it's a no from me.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52From me, it's a... # no-o-o-ooo! #
0:14:52 > 0:14:56I'll assume it's a yes. See you at boot camp. Can't wait.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03No, no, no, no, no!
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Hairy, you need to hit the beat,
0:15:05 > 0:15:08then, Flusher, you come in with the bass.
0:15:08 > 0:15:12Honestly. Sometimes, this lot put so little effort in.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14It's like they're made of cardboard.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16They don't get how important music can be.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Ask Harriet Tubman -
0:15:18 > 0:15:21she and many of her fellow African-Americans
0:15:21 > 0:15:24were slaves in the southern states of the USA,
0:15:24 > 0:15:29and singing was just one of the ways they tried to keep their spirits up.
0:15:29 > 0:15:30But if you listen carefully,
0:15:30 > 0:15:34you might find that wasn't ALL the songs were doing.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37- TOGETHER:- # When the sun comes up and the first bird sings
0:15:37 > 0:15:41# We'll be digging this field till the night bell rings
0:15:41 > 0:15:45# When the sun comes up, dear Lord, we'll say
0:15:45 > 0:15:49# The big dumb foreman is coming this way... #
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Hey, Tubman! We need to talk.
0:15:52 > 0:15:53Now.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55I've been gettin' whispers
0:15:55 > 0:15:59that y'all slaves are usin' songs to share secret messages.
0:15:59 > 0:16:03Why, I'm sure I don't know what you is talking about.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06- TOGETHER:- # That big, dumb foreman, he's a total fool
0:16:06 > 0:16:10# He's as ugly as a bullfrog and as stupid as a mule... #
0:16:10 > 0:16:14Whisper is, y'all usin' songs to help each other escape.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17# Now's a bad time for sneakin' through the farm
0:16:17 > 0:16:21# The foreman is here and he'll do you some harm
0:16:21 > 0:16:25# So wade in the water... #
0:16:25 > 0:16:28I'm tellin' you, boss, there ain't no messages in the songs.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30And why would I ever lie to you?
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Apart from all the really obvious reasons.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35# Sorry, but to tell it plain
0:16:35 > 0:16:40# A stupid foreman has got no brain... #
0:16:40 > 0:16:43All right, then, I believe you. Keep up the good work.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46Nice tunes, by the way, guys!
0:16:46 > 0:16:49# Sorry, but to tell it plain
0:16:49 > 0:16:53# The stupid foreman's go-o-ot no brain... #
0:16:53 > 0:16:55I'M the foreman!
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Where's everybody gone?!
0:16:59 > 0:17:01That's right -
0:17:01 > 0:17:05Harriet Tubman really did use coded gospel songs to help slaves escape.
0:17:05 > 0:17:06Radical.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08And this music led to blues,
0:17:08 > 0:17:13which led to jazz and eventually to the pop music you listen to today.
0:17:13 > 0:17:14Far out, man.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17But not all music is quite so groovy to listen to.
0:17:18 > 0:17:22Hi, and welcome back to the Dead Lounge, where we are joined by one
0:17:22 > 0:17:27of the 20th century's most famous composers, it's John Cage Jr.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30So, John, what are you going to be performing for us today?
0:17:30 > 0:17:34Well, I'll be performing my most famous piece, 4'33".
0:17:34 > 0:17:36If you know it, join in.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39OK - ladies and gentlemen, Mr John Cage Jr.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47TOTAL SILENCE
0:17:51 > 0:17:52Whenever you're ready.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00Sorry, John, we are live, so... if you could just get started.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03We HAD started.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05- Right... - HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:18:05 > 0:18:08And again. From the top.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11You're not playing anything, are you, though, John?
0:18:11 > 0:18:14Exactly. 4'33" is just silence.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16It's absolutely no music?
0:18:16 > 0:18:19It IS music. Because... EVERYTHING is music,
0:18:19 > 0:18:20INCLUDING silence.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22All right.
0:18:25 > 0:18:26Sorry, how long is this, John?
0:18:26 > 0:18:30It's called 4'33" - you know, how long do you think it is?
0:18:30 > 0:18:31Four and a half minutes?
0:18:31 > 0:18:34It's going to be four and a half hours at this rate.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36I mean, you don't need the whole orchestra, do you?
0:18:36 > 0:18:38I am here trying to play my music,
0:18:38 > 0:18:42my...my silent music, and you do not UNDERSTAND music.
0:18:42 > 0:18:46The sound of my baton, that is music. You are just a button pusher!
0:18:46 > 0:18:48What's that, John?
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Can't hear you, John. It's just silence, isn't it?
0:18:51 > 0:18:53INAUDIBLE
0:18:53 > 0:18:54Ooh.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00'Next to audition,
0:19:00 > 0:19:02'all the way from Italy...
0:19:02 > 0:19:05'is Gioachino Rossini!'
0:19:05 > 0:19:09OK. So you're Rossini, and you're going to play us...
0:19:09 > 0:19:12The Overture from The Thieving Magpie.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Before I begin, can I say how wonderful you're looking today?
0:19:15 > 0:19:18Oh, thank you, darling!
0:19:18 > 0:19:21Sorry, what's going on? Are you writing this now?
0:19:22 > 0:19:26OK, I admit it, I've not written it yet. I hate writing overtures,
0:19:26 > 0:19:28I always leave it to the last minute. Give me one second.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30If I could move my face,
0:19:30 > 0:19:32I'd be frowning. Not happy.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35Rossini, I love it. You're an absolute star.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37If he likes it, I'm definitely out.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39From me, it's a
0:19:39 > 0:19:42# no-o-o-o-oo-oo-oo!
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Wait, wait, wait. What about this?
0:19:44 > 0:19:47HE SINGS THE "WILLIAM TELL" OVERTURE
0:19:47 > 0:19:49- Stop it...- Rossini Style!
0:19:49 > 0:19:50Whoop, whoop...
0:19:50 > 0:19:53Rossini, you're embarrassing yourself.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55HE CONTINUES SINGING TO HIMSELF
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Ooh!
0:20:00 > 0:20:03No - we are not calling ourselves Little Mice.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06We...are One DiRat-tion. TWANG!
0:20:06 > 0:20:08And, no, this isn't my latest dance -
0:20:08 > 0:20:12Marcus my pet flea has escaped, and he's particularly bitey today.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15Mind you, these dance moves would look pretty good
0:20:15 > 0:20:19on rock and roll superstar Elvis Presley.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22Back in 1950s America, when he appeared on TV,
0:20:22 > 0:20:25his dancing was considered dangerous!
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Oooh! Aagh! Oooh!
0:20:27 > 0:20:31CLANG Rattus has left the building!
0:20:31 > 0:20:32Well, uh, thank you very much
0:20:32 > 0:20:34for having me back on The Ed Sullivan Show, sir.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36It's our pleasure, Elvis,
0:20:36 > 0:20:39we're huge fans of this new ready to roll music of yours.
0:20:39 > 0:20:43It's called rock and roll. It's very popular with the teenagers.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46We just love your music -
0:20:46 > 0:20:49just a few folks ain't so keen on the dancing.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51What do they say about it, sir?
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Well, it's not so much the saying, more the, um...
0:20:54 > 0:20:55the protestin',
0:20:55 > 0:20:57and the burnin' of effigies of you
0:20:57 > 0:20:59- in St Louis and Nashville.- Uh-huh.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02But if you tone it down a touch, we're there.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Whatever you say, sir.
0:21:04 > 0:21:07Let's just take a little peeky-boo at the performance,
0:21:07 > 0:21:10and we'll see what we're going to record.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12In three, two, one...
0:21:12 > 0:21:15# Well, since my baby left me... #
0:21:15 > 0:21:16Ohhh!
0:21:16 > 0:21:19Whoa-hoa...! What was that?
0:21:19 > 0:21:20What, this?
0:21:20 > 0:21:22Ohhh...
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Listen, young man, you...
0:21:26 > 0:21:27HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:21:28 > 0:21:32I told you to tone it down, snake hips!
0:21:32 > 0:21:34Women and children watch this show.
0:21:34 > 0:21:35Well, uh...that's my thing.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37Ohhh...
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Tell you what - Derek, just shoot him from the waist up.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41I'm not going to be responsible
0:21:41 > 0:21:43for the disintegration of civilisation. Rehearse,
0:21:43 > 0:21:44three, two, one.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46# ..baby left me...
0:21:46 > 0:21:47- Ohhh!- Whoa,
0:21:47 > 0:21:49those arms are indecent.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Indecent arms.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54Just let's... Derek, just get the head...
0:21:54 > 0:21:56Even you can't do anything with just your face.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59- Well, I guess not, sir. - OK, well...we'll go with that.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01Wait, does this count? Uh-huh-huh...
0:22:01 > 0:22:02- Whoa! - THUD
0:22:04 > 0:22:08Hey, and welcome back to the Dead Lounge -
0:22:08 > 0:22:12the home, hopefully, at some point, of some of history's finest music.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Now, I'm joined in the studio by our next act.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17He was a sensation in the '60s -
0:22:17 > 0:22:18ladies and gentlemen,
0:22:18 > 0:22:21the one and only Jimi Hendrix.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Hey, man. How's it going?
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Hi, Jimi. Now, your guitar playing is legendary,
0:22:26 > 0:22:28and I hear you caused a real sensation
0:22:28 > 0:22:31at the Monterey Festival in '67.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34Yeah, yeah. Them cats are really into it.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36- You want us to do what we did back at the Monterey?- Yes, I do.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39- Yes, I sure as darn it do. - HE LAUGHS
0:22:39 > 0:22:42Take it away, Jimi Hendrix.
0:22:42 > 0:22:43HE PLAYS A COOL RIFF
0:22:48 > 0:22:51Jimi's playing is so hot,
0:22:51 > 0:22:54it's like I can actually smell the burning.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57- SIZZLING - I can smell burning.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01Is that his guitar on fire?! Is that his guitar on fire?
0:23:01 > 0:23:04Fire! Everyone out, get out, get out.
0:23:04 > 0:23:05What kind of rock star doesn't follow
0:23:05 > 0:23:07basic health and safety procedures?
0:23:08 > 0:23:10OK...
0:23:10 > 0:23:12I have a new piece -
0:23:12 > 0:23:13Nine Minutes Six Seconds.
0:23:20 > 0:23:24'It's time...for the last composer of the day!'
0:23:25 > 0:23:27So, who are you, darling?
0:23:27 > 0:23:29- I'm, er... - HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:23:29 > 0:23:31- SNIFFLING:- ..Henry Purcell.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34I'm sorry. Are you OK?
0:23:34 > 0:23:35I haven't seen someone looking this bad
0:23:35 > 0:23:38since I saw Louis without make-up.
0:23:38 > 0:23:39PURCELL COUGHS
0:23:39 > 0:23:42I came home late from the pub last night and, erm...
0:23:42 > 0:23:43my wife locked me out.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45Well done, missus!
0:23:45 > 0:23:47Right.
0:23:47 > 0:23:48HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:23:48 > 0:23:51- UPBEAT ELECTRONIC RHYTHM - Erm...
0:23:52 > 0:23:55Sorry, it's just, I'm used to playing a rather...
0:23:55 > 0:23:57a rather different one.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00How about...this?
0:24:00 > 0:24:04- STEADY BACKING BEAT - Ah. There you go.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06MUSIC: Trumpet Tune and Air by Purcell
0:24:12 > 0:24:13OK, stop there...
0:24:13 > 0:24:16I like it. It's a yes from me.
0:24:17 > 0:24:21I thought it was FABULOUS, darling, it's yes from me.
0:24:21 > 0:24:26# Ye-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-es # from me-e-e.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28Purcell, I love it. You're an absolute star.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31So - that's three yeses and one idiot.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34Henry Purcell, you're through to the next round.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37HE SPLUTTERS
0:24:37 > 0:24:40Talented, AND dead. Kerching.
0:24:45 > 0:24:46Purcell really did die of a cold
0:24:46 > 0:24:50after being locked out of the house by his wife.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53Nice beat, though! I might use that for my first solo track.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56Yeah, I decided to quit the band and go it alone,
0:24:56 > 0:25:01with my new stage name, Ed Shee-Rat! Yeah.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03From the Neanderthals to the present day,
0:25:03 > 0:25:05people have always wanted great music.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08Which is a shame, because my music stinks.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11No - I'm no Queen Cleopatra of Egypt.
0:25:11 > 0:25:12She could sing, dance
0:25:12 > 0:25:15AND play the lyre.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17Now, then. Where's that beat?
0:25:17 > 0:25:19# Uhh, uhh, aah
0:25:19 > 0:25:22# Uhh, uhh, aah
0:25:22 > 0:25:26# A voice, a beat, a melody How music began
0:25:26 > 0:25:30- # I play this very nicely.- Lyre... - # Really - I can
0:25:30 > 0:25:33# A harp, a flute And this is really funky
0:25:33 > 0:25:37- # Before that came the Swedish horn - It's cold as a brass monkey!
0:25:37 > 0:25:40- # 700 BC - Greek song contests, we're told
0:25:40 > 0:25:44- # In Chalcis, each tune is judged - Is Simon Cowell that old?
0:25:44 > 0:25:47# We Greeks invent the organ, and we're musical, Greased Lightnin'!
0:25:47 > 0:25:49# And Celts, the horn of war
0:25:49 > 0:25:51# That sounds pretty frightening
0:25:51 > 0:25:54- # Music, music, music - # Where did it all come from?
0:25:54 > 0:25:58- # Music, music, music - # We just love to sing along
0:25:58 > 0:26:02- # Music, music, music - # Creativity at its best
0:26:02 > 0:26:05- # Music, music, music - # I wonder what came next
0:26:05 > 0:26:10# Gregorian chanting introduces monk rock
0:26:10 > 0:26:14# Adding harmonies entertains the church flock
0:26:14 > 0:26:17# Then came troubadours, of course
0:26:17 > 0:26:21# Play the sackbutt, if you've patience
0:26:21 > 0:26:25# Apart from banning women, it's a musical renaissance
0:26:25 > 0:26:29# Vivaldi, Bach and Handel, new music causes shock
0:26:29 > 0:26:33# Can YOU handle these changes? Are you ready to baroque?
0:26:33 > 0:26:36# Forget what has gone before
0:26:36 > 0:26:40# We call that Jurassic
0:26:40 > 0:26:44# Listen to our symphonies
0:26:44 > 0:26:47# Each one is a classic
0:26:47 > 0:26:50# Opera! Popular!
0:26:50 > 0:26:53# Romantic, not elitist
0:26:53 > 0:26:55# Mahler, Verdi, Wagner
0:26:55 > 0:26:58# That is not a bad list
0:26:58 > 0:27:01# So the story told so far, music's mostly fun
0:27:01 > 0:27:05# But oh so many ch-ch-ch-ch-changes gonna come
0:27:05 > 0:27:09# Mass-produced pianos really strike a chord
0:27:09 > 0:27:13'# What's that on the phonograph? It's a record'
0:27:13 > 0:27:17# Immigrants to the US bring their music heart and soul
0:27:17 > 0:27:22# Afro, Jews plus jazz and blues equals rock and roll!
0:27:22 > 0:27:25# My singing changes everything, uh-huh-huh
0:27:25 > 0:27:28# It's all shook up
0:27:28 > 0:27:29# The USA...
0:27:29 > 0:27:31# Led the way...
0:27:31 > 0:27:35- # Until we turned up- Oooh!
0:27:35 > 0:27:37# Pop music explodes
0:27:37 > 0:27:40# Too many styles to mention
0:27:40 > 0:27:43# Rock, dance, rap and R&B
0:27:43 > 0:27:47# Now there's only one direction
0:27:47 > 0:27:50# Whatever has been
0:27:50 > 0:27:53# Whatever may appear
0:27:53 > 0:27:56# Every piece of music
0:27:56 > 0:27:58# Finds its way
0:27:58 > 0:28:00# Back
0:28:00 > 0:28:02- # Uhh...- Here!
0:28:02 > 0:28:04# ..uhh, aah
0:28:04 > 0:28:06# Uhh, uhh. #
0:28:09 > 0:28:12It's another hit!
0:28:12 > 0:28:14LAUGHTER
0:28:14 > 0:28:17- Och, it's never... - INDISTINCT
0:28:17 > 0:28:19Generic Scottish sayings.
0:28:19 > 0:28:20LAUGHTER
0:28:20 > 0:28:23# The past is no longer a mystery
0:28:23 > 0:28:25# Hope you enjoyed
0:28:25 > 0:28:27# Horrible Histories! #