0:00:02 > 0:00:03# Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians
0:00:03 > 0:00:05# Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians
0:00:05 > 0:00:07# Woeful wars, ferocious fights Dingy castles, daring knights
0:00:07 > 0:00:10# Horrors that defy description Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians
0:00:10 > 0:00:13# Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes Punishment from ancient times
0:00:13 > 0:00:15# Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless
0:00:15 > 0:00:16# Cavemen, savage, fierce and toothless
0:00:16 > 0:00:19# Groovy Greeks, brainy sages Mean and measly Middle Ages
0:00:19 > 0:00:20# Gory stories, we do that
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# And your host, a talking rat
0:00:23 > 0:00:26# The past is no longer a mystery
0:00:26 > 0:00:27# Welcome to...
0:00:27 > 0:00:32# Horrible Histories. #
0:00:32 > 0:00:37Horrible Histories presents The Grisly Great Fire of London.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Welcome to the year 1665.
0:00:39 > 0:00:43England has shaken off Oliver Cromwell's puritan rule
0:00:43 > 0:00:44and life is fun again.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47Happy days! So why not come pay us a visit?
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Hi, I'm Vernon Cheesemouth.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Thought England was all church and no fun?
0:00:57 > 0:01:00- Mm-hm.- Well, think again.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Welcome to the Restoration.
0:01:04 > 0:01:08Yes! Oliver Cromwell's Commonwealth is over!
0:01:08 > 0:01:10And the restoration of the monarchy
0:01:10 > 0:01:13means there's a king on the throne again.
0:01:13 > 0:01:17Yes, I'm King Charles II, so, hurrah for me!
0:01:17 > 0:01:20And once again, England is a fun place to visit,
0:01:20 > 0:01:24with definitely no mass outbreaks of the deadly plague.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27Because... PILGRIM COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS
0:01:28 > 0:01:30He's probably just having a lie down.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33Also back, the theatre.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Yes! Theatre was banned under
0:01:35 > 0:01:38boring old Cromwell, but it's back,
0:01:38 > 0:01:41and now with added women.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Where's Gary? He's meant to be playing my wife.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45We don't need Gary, love.
0:01:45 > 0:01:50In Restoration theatre, the women can be played by women.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52Oh, I don't feel well.
0:01:52 > 0:01:53I think I've got the pla...
0:01:55 > 0:01:59Play wrong, he thinks he's got the play wrong!
0:01:59 > 0:02:01It's all fun in Restoration England.
0:02:01 > 0:02:05Which includes the return of proper sport.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07I believe in you.
0:02:07 > 0:02:08Your mum believes in you.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10The whole of London believes in you,
0:02:10 > 0:02:13so go out there and give them hell!
0:02:13 > 0:02:16HE COUGHS
0:02:16 > 0:02:21And don't forget, the Restoration also has the plague!
0:02:21 > 0:02:22I mean, has no plague!
0:02:22 > 0:02:25COCKEREL CLUCKS Ooh!
0:02:25 > 0:02:26Visit England,
0:02:26 > 0:02:30enjoy our restoration of fun.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32HE LAUGHS, THEN COUGHS
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Oh, no! I think I've got...
0:02:35 > 0:02:36Too excited.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38He thinks that he's got too excited
0:02:38 > 0:02:41by his awesome visit to Restoration England.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43SHE COUGHS
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Oh, rats!
0:02:45 > 0:02:46Not that they're a problem!
0:02:46 > 0:02:48CONTINUES COUGHING
0:02:50 > 0:02:55Oi! Don't you go blaming me for the plague, it was the gerbils.
0:02:55 > 0:02:59OK, fine. We rats might have had something to do with it.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01HE SNEEZES
0:03:01 > 0:03:04Ugh! It's just a cold, honest.
0:03:04 > 0:03:08Now, by the end of 1665, the plague was disappearing,
0:03:08 > 0:03:12and people could look forward to a bright and happy future.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15Well, some of them, anyway.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17THEY CHATTER
0:03:17 > 0:03:19GLASS TINKLES
0:03:19 > 0:03:20Ssh!
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Stop tapping that... Oh, it's me.
0:03:22 > 0:03:28Um, ladies and gentlemen, the New Year is almost upon us.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31What better way to celebrate than with friends?
0:03:31 > 0:03:32Hear, hear.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34My brother, the Duke of York.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37To the King and the Pope.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41I mean, just the King.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43I'm definitely not a Catholic.
0:03:43 > 0:03:48And to our friend from the Royal Society, Christopher Wren,
0:03:48 > 0:03:52pushing back the frontiers of science.
0:03:52 > 0:03:58Today, my assistant glued an ant to the table and got him drunk.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00THEY LAUGH
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Imagine! Imagine!
0:04:02 > 0:04:07Sir Thomas Bludworth, my most loyal and trustworthy supporter.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Thank you for making me Lord Mayor of London, Charlie.
0:04:09 > 0:04:10It's such a cushy job.
0:04:12 > 0:04:16Samuel Pepys. My friend and administrator.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18Pepys, put down the diary while I'm talking.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20"Put down the diary when I'm talking," said the King
0:04:20 > 0:04:23to the handsome diarist.
0:04:23 > 0:04:29And finally, the darling of the London stage, Margaret Hughes.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Wonderful to spend New Year with you all, darling.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35My word, lad, you're a handsome chap!
0:04:35 > 0:04:37How do you achieve that effect?
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Ha-ha! Ooh, Christopher!
0:04:39 > 0:04:43Well, 1665 was a wretched year.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45- The plague!- Awful business.
0:04:45 > 0:04:50Do you know how hard it is to get a decent servant these days?
0:04:51 > 0:04:52A live one, anyway.
0:04:52 > 0:04:58Well, it's nearly midnight and, bye-bye, 1665 and say hello now
0:04:58 > 0:05:01to the New Year, 16...
0:05:01 > 0:05:0460...
0:05:04 > 0:05:06- Six.- Six, thank you.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09Three, two, one...
0:05:09 > 0:05:12- CLOCK CHIMES ALL:- Happy New Year!
0:05:12 > 0:05:15Things can't get any worse.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18- ALL:- Things can't get any worse.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25We interrupt with some breaking news.
0:05:25 > 0:05:29It's 1666 and a fire has broken out on the streets of London.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32We go live to our reporter Katie Woe.
0:05:32 > 0:05:37I've covered kings, queens, wars and volcanoes,
0:05:37 > 0:05:41but today I'm covering a small fire in Pudding Lane, East London.
0:05:41 > 0:05:45Excuse me? Katie Woe, HHTV News. Where are you all going?
0:05:45 > 0:05:49We are at war with Holland and this fire is the start of a Dutch attack!
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Or just a fire which you could put out?
0:05:51 > 0:05:54- But I've got to throw my furniture in the Thames, quick.- Why?
0:05:54 > 0:05:57To stop it getting ruined by the fire.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00- By ruining it in a wholly different way?- Exactly.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04The fire is spreading quite quickly,
0:06:04 > 0:06:08as are the rumours that it was started by Dutch spies.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Spies. It's the Dutch spies, I'm telling you!
0:06:10 > 0:06:15- Fire!- It wasn't Dutch spies, it was a terrible accident.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19Hot coals in the bakery oven, accidentally left burning overnight.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21A bakery oven? And your name is?
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Thomas Farriner, baker to the King.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25Oh, you're a baker?
0:06:25 > 0:06:27And how do you know it was started in a bakery?
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Um... Well, you know, I'd rather not say.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33In fact, come to think of it, it was the foreigners.
0:06:33 > 0:06:37Yeah, foreigners, coming over here with their fire.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39It had nothing to do with me. I was asleep when my fire started.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42Not my fire...the fire. These aren't even my cakes.
0:06:42 > 0:06:43Excuse me, I've just got...
0:06:44 > 0:06:47It sounds like there's a bit of mystery as to how this now
0:06:47 > 0:06:49quite large fire started.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51- I know why.- Yes, old crone?
0:06:51 > 0:06:55It was because of that Polish chicken what laid an egg
0:06:55 > 0:06:56with a cross on it.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59- Excuse me?- Beware the egg!
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Beware the egg!
0:07:01 > 0:07:03- Beware the egg!- Or, beware the fire.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05This is turning into a disaster,
0:07:05 > 0:07:07and a cracking story.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10Join us later for more on this great fire of London.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12Oh, that's catchy. Can we use that?
0:07:12 > 0:07:14PHONE RINGS
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Oh, Deborah.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23Why would you be calling me at four in the morning?
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Your wife told me to, Mr Pepys.
0:07:25 > 0:07:26Oh.
0:07:26 > 0:07:30There's a big fire, sir. 300 houses have gone up already.
0:07:30 > 0:07:31Cripes! Yes, I did think it was
0:07:31 > 0:07:33a bit on the muggy side.
0:07:34 > 0:07:39Right. This is an emergency and I must act immediately.
0:07:39 > 0:07:43I must rescue my Parmesan cheese.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Right, probably best to sell you,
0:07:46 > 0:07:48get you out of here.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Don't want you melting in the fire.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53PING!
0:07:53 > 0:07:55Right. OK.
0:07:55 > 0:07:56Probably should tell the King,
0:07:56 > 0:07:59what with being a top public servant and all.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02PHONE RINGS
0:08:03 > 0:08:06Ugh! Pepys, it's four in the morning.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08Yes, I'm sorry about waking you, Your Majesty.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11Wake me? No, I haven't been to bed yet.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Party! Woohoo! DISTANT CHEERING
0:08:13 > 0:08:16- Yes!- Cool.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19London is burning, Your Majesty. London is burning.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Oh, all right, yeah, fair play.
0:08:21 > 0:08:27Um, contact Lord Mayor Bludworth, he'll get right onto it, right?
0:08:32 > 0:08:35- Bludworth, there's a fire. - I know.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39I wouldn't worry about it, it's so small, a woman might pee it out!
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Leave me alone. I'm logging off till morning.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Useless man!
0:08:46 > 0:08:49- Your Majesty.- Shh, shh, shh!
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Bludworth doesn't seem to be entirely grasping the severity
0:08:52 > 0:08:53of the situation, Your Majesty.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56Oh, probably drunk.
0:08:56 > 0:08:57Yeah, yeah.
0:08:57 > 0:09:01I can always rely on you in a crisis, Pepysy boy.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04Yes, Your Majesty. Would you mind, by any chance,
0:09:04 > 0:09:07bidding up a cheese on eBay for me?
0:09:07 > 0:09:10- What?!- It doesn't matter.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12- PARTY BLOWER TOOTS - Party on.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Hello, Samuel Pepys here.
0:09:16 > 0:09:20Now, before the fire, I stayed with a friend,
0:09:20 > 0:09:24and I needed the toilet in the night, but there was no potty
0:09:24 > 0:09:28under my bed, so where did I poo instead?
0:09:28 > 0:09:32Was it A, into my hat,
0:09:32 > 0:09:34B, out of the window,
0:09:34 > 0:09:36or C, in the chimney?
0:09:37 > 0:09:41The answer is C, I pooed twice in that chimney.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43I pooed in it good!
0:09:43 > 0:09:47My friend couldn't use it for weeks and I was never invited back.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50It's also how I got my nickname, Samuel Poops.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54Just joking, nobody calls me Samuel Poops.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Does he?
0:09:58 > 0:09:59He's always undermining me.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05When danger threatens...
0:10:05 > 0:10:07a city in flames
0:10:07 > 0:10:10turns to one man.
0:10:10 > 0:10:14Sir Thomas Bludworth, Lord Mayor of London, will do...
0:10:14 > 0:10:17HE SNORES
0:10:17 > 0:10:19..absolutely nothing.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23- Lord Mayor, wake up!- Uh, oh! What?
0:10:23 > 0:10:26- Where's the fire? - Since you ask, it's there.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Argh! It's massive.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31- Why did nobody tell me? - We did tell you, sir.
0:10:31 > 0:10:32You went back to sleep.
0:10:34 > 0:10:35Good idea.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Sir Thomas Bludworth -
0:10:37 > 0:10:40he's a knight, he's a mayor, he's a total...
0:10:41 > 0:10:44And featuring Samuel Pepis...
0:10:44 > 0:10:45Pepys. It's Pepys.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Samuel Pepys.
0:10:48 > 0:10:53I must say, I'm impressed by your energy, but how is this helping?
0:10:53 > 0:10:55I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do!
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Start pulling down houses, Bludworth, it'll stop the fire
0:10:58 > 0:10:59from spreading.
0:10:59 > 0:11:00That's brilliant, let's do that.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Of course, whoever gives the order
0:11:02 > 0:11:04will have to pay to rebuild the houses.
0:11:04 > 0:11:05I've got a better idea, you give the order.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08- But that's your job.- La, la, la, la!
0:11:08 > 0:11:11This year's greatest inaction movie.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14Maybe if I hide, it will go away.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Maybe it's all just a bad dream.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19It's not the nightmare.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21He is!
0:11:25 > 0:11:29It's day two of the fire and the flames that wiped out warehouses
0:11:29 > 0:11:33containing hay, alcohol, candles and coal.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36Perhaps storing such highly flammable materials next to
0:11:36 > 0:11:39each other on the same street wasn't such a good idea.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42If I can now call in the King's own brother, the Duke of York.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Hello.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Your Highness, your wig is smoking.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48Oh, thank you very much. I'm rather partial to it myself.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50HE SNIFFS Oh...
0:11:52 > 0:11:54So, Duke of, what's the latest?
0:11:54 > 0:11:58Well, 10,000 houses are burning, thousands of people are missing
0:11:58 > 0:11:59and the heat is so intense,
0:11:59 > 0:12:03there's molten lead running down the streets, but no fear,
0:12:03 > 0:12:05I'm on top of it.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07Well, not literally on top of it, like that poor fellow!
0:12:07 > 0:12:10Hot! Hot! Hot!
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Try wearing two pairs of socks, old chap.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15He'll probably die.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Now, this is the kind of situation that calls for the fire brigade.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21But the trouble is, London doesn't have a fire brigade.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24So I have been paying random people to fight the fire.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26When people refuse to help, I beat them up.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30See? Get back to work.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32Slacker!
0:12:33 > 0:12:36Main problem now is the fire is headed towards the Tower of London.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38So thousands have lost their homes,
0:12:38 > 0:12:41but you are more worried about the Tower of London?
0:12:41 > 0:12:43It's where we keep the gunpowder.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46We'll have to pull down the houses to protect it.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49Oh, and what if you live in those houses?
0:12:49 > 0:12:50Pfftt!
0:12:51 > 0:12:56The Great Fire sent people and rats scurrying out of London.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59Hey, how about a trip to the Caribbean,
0:12:59 > 0:13:02where some Brits were already enjoying themselves?
0:13:02 > 0:13:05I'm warming up just thinking about it.
0:13:05 > 0:13:06Getting all warm and...
0:13:06 > 0:13:09Uh? Eh? What?
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Ooh, me tail's on fire!
0:13:11 > 0:13:12Me tail's on fire!
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Say your prayers, ye scurvy dog!
0:13:19 > 0:13:22- Never, you mangy cove. - How dare you, you maggot...
0:13:22 > 0:13:24Hang on.
0:13:24 > 0:13:25Rupert?
0:13:25 > 0:13:28- No! Henry, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:13:28 > 0:13:32- We fought together for King Charles, back home in England.- Yes.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34- BOTH:- # Charlie's Army, here we come
0:13:34 > 0:13:35# Kick those others up the
0:13:35 > 0:13:37# Battle of Naseby! #
0:13:37 > 0:13:39THEY LAUGH Still funny.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41Aaargh!
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Aaargh!
0:13:44 > 0:13:48- Oh, the Civil War, eh?- Oh, yeah.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51- There was nothing civil about that, was there?- Not really, no.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53What are you up to these days?
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Silly question - pirate, I suppose.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Privateer, if you don't mind.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00Yes, got to earn a living. Mum cut me off.
0:14:00 > 0:14:01So I'm just stealing Spanish things
0:14:01 > 0:14:04and getting paid by the Government to do it, which is nice.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Oh, you been to Mexico?
0:14:06 > 0:14:09- No.- Oh, you have to go to Mexico.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11It's totally unspoiled. It's lovely.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Should probably get over there and spoil it then.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17Aaargh!
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Splice the main brace, me hearties!
0:14:19 > 0:14:21Pieces of eight and a dead man's chest.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Now, what is the main brace?
0:14:23 > 0:14:27I have no idea, but the chaps seem awfully keen on splicing it.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29You are looking really trim, by the way.
0:14:29 > 0:14:30You've been working out?
0:14:30 > 0:14:32Pir-ates.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36I'll have your guts for garters, you bilge rat!
0:14:36 > 0:14:40I'll make shark bait of you! Yo, ho, ho!
0:14:40 > 0:14:42- Ooh!- Ow! Ow.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45- Sorry.- That really hurt, Rupert.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50Welcome to The Great Fire Bake Off.
0:14:50 > 0:14:51Our bakers are primed and ready
0:14:51 > 0:14:54and we've asked them to create their signature bake.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57- BOTH:- Ready, steady, bake!
0:14:57 > 0:14:59It's... It's just, I thought I was doing it.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01- Ready, steady, bake!- Bake.- Ha!
0:15:08 > 0:15:11It's time to see how our contestants have got on.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13First up, let's meet Thomas Farriner,
0:15:13 > 0:15:15from Pudding Lane in London.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19Hi, Thomas. So, you're, of course, famous for being...
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Being personal baker to the King.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23And starting the Great Fire of London.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25Great Fire of London.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27We're going to dwell on that, are we?
0:15:27 > 0:15:30Not the years of relatively fire-free baking that happened
0:15:30 > 0:15:31before that?
0:15:31 > 0:15:34So, anyway, what I'm doing here is I'm kneading the dough...
0:15:34 > 0:15:35So, about the fire.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38I hear it started in your bakery on Pudding Lane?
0:15:38 > 0:15:40That is totally irre...
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Why are you holding a fire extinguisher?
0:15:42 > 0:15:47This? Oh, no, I always have this with me.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50If there's massive risk of fire.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54- So, Pudding Lane. Good place for a bakery.- Yes.
0:15:54 > 0:16:00Although, of course, pudding is a medieval word meaning animal guts.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Mmm! How's that biscuit?
0:16:02 > 0:16:04You're miles away from the flavour point, mate.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06Actually, I rather like it.
0:16:08 > 0:16:12Next up, it's writer Hannah Woolley from Essex.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Now, this looks interesting.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Oh, yeah. Well, when I'm not baking, I like writing.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20My latest book is called The Gentlewoman's Companion,
0:16:20 > 0:16:22or A Guide To The Female Sex.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Stop gobbling, Paul!
0:16:24 > 0:16:26That's in the book.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28"Fill up your mouth not so full that your cheeks swell up
0:16:28 > 0:16:30"like a pair of Scotch bagpipes."
0:16:30 > 0:16:31She's doing jokes.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34She supposed to be a contestant, not a presenter.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Now, Hannah, tell us about your recipes.
0:16:37 > 0:16:38Are they in the book?
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Oh, yeah, they are, along with the suggestion
0:16:40 > 0:16:44that you keep your elbows off the table, Paul!
0:16:44 > 0:16:47Hi, guys. Here's my signature bake.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Overbaked, buddy.
0:16:49 > 0:16:50Well, your opinion.
0:16:52 > 0:16:57Now, I'm afraid it's that time of the show where we have to announce
0:16:57 > 0:16:59that the person leaving us this week...
0:16:59 > 0:17:00Well, I should hope it's him.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02Is...
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Oh, don't do the dramatic pause, it's obviously me.
0:17:07 > 0:17:12Yes, it is. For burning down London, Thomas, it's you.
0:17:12 > 0:17:13Sorry.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16Yeah. Shouldn't be allowed anywhere near fire, buddy.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18It was one ti...
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Two times.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Does that mean I'm Star Baker? Hooray!
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Stop slouching, Paul!
0:17:28 > 0:17:30You join me in the wreckage of London,
0:17:30 > 0:17:35where after four days, the fire is finally out.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38But not before destroying 80% of the city,
0:17:38 > 0:17:43including 13,000 houses and 89 churches.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46The official death toll stands at just six people.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49But thousands more may have perished, we simply don't know.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52Where are you? Where are you?
0:17:52 > 0:17:56This poor man has clearly lost a loved one.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58That's right. My cheese.
0:17:58 > 0:17:59I've forgotten where I buried it.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01Still, at least I saved my furni...
0:18:02 > 0:18:05- Oh, dear.- Have you seen my cheese?
0:18:05 > 0:18:08It's about yea big, smells a bit like vomit.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10Probably dressed like a cheese.
0:18:10 > 0:18:14Where could that cheese have gone?
0:18:14 > 0:18:16It's a complete mystery.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18A completely delicious mystery.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20HE CHORTLES
0:18:20 > 0:18:22So, after the fire ended,
0:18:22 > 0:18:25the hunt was on for the culprit who started it.
0:18:25 > 0:18:29It was baker Thomas Farriner, on Pudding Lane.
0:18:29 > 0:18:34But at the time they had some pretty unusual ideas about who to blame.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Right. Listen up, you 'orrible lot.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44I've got a city in ruins
0:18:44 > 0:18:46and the people need someone to blame.
0:18:46 > 0:18:47What you got for me?
0:18:47 > 0:18:50Well, we think it was a fire, sir.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52Yeah, I know that, genius!
0:18:52 > 0:18:53Who started it?
0:18:53 > 0:18:56Hot summer, everything made of wood.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59It's been a bit windy. I'm amazed it didn't happen any earlier.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02I've got a town full of dead people who need answers,
0:19:02 > 0:19:04and you want me to tell 'em it was a bit windy?
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Clear your desk!
0:19:07 > 0:19:10- That's not my desk, sir. - I've got a suspect, sir.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13- His name's Lilly.- Lilly, eh?
0:19:13 > 0:19:15Sounds like a tough nut.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18William Lilly. Astrologer.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20Predicted the fire 15 years ago.
0:19:21 > 0:19:22Prior knowledge.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25- Bring the toerag in.- Yes, sir.
0:19:29 > 0:19:30So, Lilly...
0:19:32 > 0:19:33..like burning things, do we?
0:19:33 > 0:19:35I don't know what you're talking about.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38So, this...
0:19:39 > 0:19:40..isn't your pamphlet?
0:19:40 > 0:19:46In which you predict "Sundry fires, around 1665"?
0:19:47 > 0:19:49All right, I confess.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52Well, I predict a hanging.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55I confess I'm a rubbish astrologer.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58None of my predictions came true, I just got lucky.
0:19:58 > 0:19:59Unlucky, this time.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01I just love crystals.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04Sir. New suspect.
0:20:04 > 0:20:05He's copped to the whole thing.
0:20:08 > 0:20:09Oh, Lilly.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13One more question. What does November hold for Aquarius?
0:20:13 > 0:20:14Oh...
0:20:18 > 0:20:20This the guy, is it?
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Yes, sir. Robert Hubert.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25Claims he threw a grenade through the bakery window.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28Bang to rights.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30Just two problems.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34There aren't any windows in the bakery,
0:20:34 > 0:20:37and he was on a boat in the middle of the English Channel at the time
0:20:37 > 0:20:40of the fire. He's clearly not all there, sir.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43You muppet!
0:20:43 > 0:20:45What's the evidence against him?
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Well, sir, he is French.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Excellent work.
0:20:50 > 0:20:51The case closed.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56After the Great Fire, Londoners looked to the cleverest minds
0:20:56 > 0:20:59of the age to rebuild their ruined city.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03The members of the Royal Society were the top science bods around -
0:21:03 > 0:21:05think Brian Cox crossed with Stephen Hawking -
0:21:05 > 0:21:08and made some of history's most famous discoveries.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10However, their experiments weren't always as sensible
0:21:10 > 0:21:12as you might expect.
0:21:15 > 0:21:21We begin with the man who discovered gravity, sir Isaac Newton.
0:21:21 > 0:21:26- Good day.- Sir Isaac, today you're organising the Royal Mint,
0:21:26 > 0:21:28dissecting a dolphin,
0:21:28 > 0:21:30and attending a Parliamentary debate.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32- Yes, and that's not all. - Oh, really?
0:21:32 > 0:21:37This morning I shall be staring into the sun so long, I nearly go blind,
0:21:37 > 0:21:41searching for hidden messages in the Bible, which I KNOW are there,
0:21:41 > 0:21:45and trying to turn this worthless lead into gold.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Gold.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Gold!
0:21:52 > 0:21:53Tss!
0:21:55 > 0:22:02Christopher Wren, a master of medicine, astronomy and mathematics.
0:22:02 > 0:22:06Christopher, can you enlighten us with your scientific method?
0:22:06 > 0:22:08Of course.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11On the table, we have a spider in a jar.
0:22:11 > 0:22:12Fascinating, yes.
0:22:12 > 0:22:16- We place the jar at an observable distance...- Yes.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19..and then we dance!
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Come on, dance. Dance!
0:22:24 > 0:22:26Why are we doing this?
0:22:26 > 0:22:28We're teaching the spider to dance, of course.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33Sir Isaac, stop it.
0:22:34 > 0:22:35No.
0:22:39 > 0:22:44Robert Boyle, a brilliant scientist and member of the Royal Society.
0:22:45 > 0:22:50Mr Boyle, what is the object of the complex canine surgical procedure
0:22:50 > 0:22:53in which you are engaged today? Tell me.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56Well, I heard about this from a fellow in France.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58As you can see, I've sedated this dog
0:22:58 > 0:23:00and made an incision.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03Now, if you would insert your hand,
0:23:03 > 0:23:06and give it a gentle squeeze.
0:23:06 > 0:23:07I shall.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10And you made it do a wee! Brilliant!
0:23:11 > 0:23:14Of course, this experiment helps you
0:23:14 > 0:23:16to learn about the anatomical processes.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18Yes, and we made a wee come out!
0:23:19 > 0:23:22- Now I've got wee-wee trousers. - Yes, you do.- Move aside!
0:23:22 > 0:23:25It's not wee, it's gold, liquid gold.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27- Whop it.- So many legs! Ha-ha!
0:23:28 > 0:23:31You're all supposed to be dignified scientists!
0:23:38 > 0:23:42Now, rebuilding a house from scratch can be a real challenge.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45What about rebuilding an entire city?
0:23:46 > 0:23:50Welcome to a very special edition of Historical Grand Designs.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56This is the architect, Christopher Wren
0:23:56 > 0:23:57and the surveyor, Robert Hooke.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00Couldn't this have waited? The ground is still hot. Ooh!
0:24:00 > 0:24:02I told you not to touch, Bobby.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04Honestly!
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Prune!
0:24:06 > 0:24:09Here, amongst the charred ruins of smouldering London,
0:24:09 > 0:24:14Wren sees a chance for a long cherished dream to become a reality.
0:24:14 > 0:24:18The Great Fire is a fantastic opportunity.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20And a dreadful tragedy.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23Hm? Oh, yes.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25Yes, awful.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28But we get a chance to redesign London from scratch.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30I'm so excited!
0:24:31 > 0:24:35And sad about all the dead people, of course.
0:24:39 > 0:24:43THEY CHATTER
0:24:43 > 0:24:46Sorry, guys. Can I interrupt? Can we just get one thing straight?
0:24:46 > 0:24:50You plan to replace medieval London with a modern city.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53- Are you sure it's achievable? - Yeah, I reckon.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55Plus, it's the new cathedral I really want to do.
0:24:55 > 0:24:59And get this, I'm going to build a dome instead of a spire.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02But a spire is a lot easier to build than a dome.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05- Yes, but where's the fun in easy, Kelvin?- Kevin.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07I couldn't be happier.
0:25:08 > 0:25:13- Or sadder.- Yes, sad. Very sad.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19So, here we are, Christopher, six years on.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22And I see some progress has been made, but there isn't much
0:25:22 > 0:25:24in the way of a cathedral yet, is there?
0:25:24 > 0:25:28- Are we a bit behind schedule? - I've been busy, Kelvin.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31We've built 51 churches, repaired Whitehall Palace,
0:25:31 > 0:25:34rebuilt Guildhall and the Fleet Canal.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37- Plus, there was rather a long wait for the skip.- Right.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40But, on the positive side,
0:25:40 > 0:25:44the cathedral should be finished in six months. Nearly there.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48- Do you want a hand with that? - Leave him, leave him.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53Christopher, you're on your fourth design.
0:25:54 > 0:25:55Are you nearly finished?
0:25:57 > 0:26:02To be honest, a spire would have been quite a lot easier than a dome.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04I wish somebody had said something.
0:26:07 > 0:26:08- I did say something.- What?- Nothing.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13Now, when I first heard Christopher's plan,
0:26:13 > 0:26:17I thought it was overambitious, unrealistic,
0:26:17 > 0:26:18frankly, a bit bonkers.
0:26:18 > 0:26:24But there's no denying this magnificent cathedral behind...
0:26:25 > 0:26:30..on paper, is bound to be admired for generations to come.
0:26:30 > 0:26:35It's just such a shame it was born from such a tragedy.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37What tragedy? What, the fire?
0:26:37 > 0:26:41Oh, let it go! That was 35 years ago!
0:26:41 > 0:26:44Most of them would have snuffed it by now anyway!
0:26:44 > 0:26:45Move on!
0:26:47 > 0:26:48I mean, boo-hoo.
0:26:51 > 0:26:55Don't worry, Wren did finish it. Well, eventually.
0:26:55 > 0:26:59And St Paul's Cathedral still survives to this day.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01Top job, Christopher!
0:27:01 > 0:27:05The Great Fire was one of the worst tragedies in the history of London,
0:27:05 > 0:27:10but people like Wren, Hooke, Boyle and Pepys would make sure
0:27:10 > 0:27:13that the new city would be even more amazing than before.
0:27:13 > 0:27:19And that's why me and my thousands of cousins have moved right back in.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22And, lights!
0:27:22 > 0:27:25ACOUSTIC GUITAR PLAYS
0:27:29 > 0:27:31# At first you looked so beautiful
0:27:31 > 0:27:35# When you flew out of Farriner's shop, yeah
0:27:37 > 0:27:43# You set our world on fire, babe, but you didn't know when to stop
0:27:45 > 0:27:49- BOTH:- # Thought you could destroy us with your flaming attack
0:27:49 > 0:27:53# But there's only one direction and now we're heading back
0:27:53 > 0:27:56ALL: # We're starting over again
0:27:56 > 0:28:00# Gonna build this town back up from the ground
0:28:00 > 0:28:05# With my buddy Christopher Wren
0:28:05 > 0:28:07# Well, if it be fiery
0:28:07 > 0:28:09# I'll put that in my diary
0:28:09 > 0:28:13# And build this town again
0:28:13 > 0:28:15# Gonna fix this town by hook or crook
0:28:15 > 0:28:17# My name is Robert Hooke
0:28:17 > 0:28:18# Make it good
0:28:20 > 0:28:24# I've got reams of schemes and rebuilding dreams
0:28:25 > 0:28:28# How about avoid using wood?
0:28:28 > 0:28:32- ALL:- # We're working as a team to rebuild London entire
0:28:32 > 0:28:36# Together we get on like a house on fi...
0:28:36 > 0:28:40# We're starting over again
0:28:40 > 0:28:42# Rising from the embers
0:28:42 > 0:28:44# Our talent you'll remember
0:28:44 > 0:28:48# With Boyle, Hooke and Wren
0:28:48 > 0:28:52# London we'll renew, but won't stop me when we're through
0:28:52 > 0:28:56# We'll build the future again
0:28:56 > 0:28:58# In science we will trust
0:28:58 > 0:29:00# Rebuild these walls
0:29:00 > 0:29:04# I'll even redesign the organ at St Paul's
0:29:04 > 0:29:08# We're starting over again
0:29:08 > 0:29:12# We'll change London first Next, the universe
0:29:12 > 0:29:15# These days will be known for when
0:29:15 > 0:29:18# What we achieved
0:29:18 > 0:29:24# The world would never be ever the same again. #
0:29:24 > 0:29:25Sorry, sorry.
0:29:29 > 0:29:30You know what?
0:29:31 > 0:29:32Just leave it.
0:29:32 > 0:29:34Ah-ha!
0:29:34 > 0:29:35Got me worried now because...
0:29:35 > 0:29:36Yeah, actually,
0:29:36 > 0:29:38I'm going to... Pack it in!
0:29:39 > 0:29:42# The past is no longer a mystery
0:29:42 > 0:29:43# Hope you enjoyed
0:29:43 > 0:29:46# Horrible Histories. #