Sistery Mystery

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0:00:02 > 0:00:05Welcome to Hotel Trubble! Meet Sally, our receptionist...

0:00:05 > 0:00:06always service with a smile!

0:00:09 > 0:00:14And that's Lenny. He's a man of many talents.

0:00:14 > 0:00:17We're just not sure what they are yet.

0:00:17 > 0:00:22And here's Mrs Poshington and her cat, General Sirius Poshington.

0:00:22 > 0:00:24She's our regular pest...

0:00:24 > 0:00:25I mean...guest.

0:00:25 > 0:00:28She never leaves.

0:00:28 > 0:00:30Which just leaves me, Jamie.

0:00:30 > 0:00:33I'm the bellboy. Can I take your bags?

0:00:36 > 0:00:38# Hotel Trubble forever

0:00:38 > 0:00:40# It's the pits and we know it

0:00:40 > 0:00:42# We're stuck but we love it

0:00:42 > 0:00:45# Hotel Trubble forever

0:00:45 > 0:00:47# As we try to survive

0:00:47 > 0:00:50# each day brings disaster!

0:00:50 > 0:00:53# Hotel Trubble forever

0:00:53 > 0:00:56# We're a team staying calm on and on

0:00:56 > 0:00:58# So the hotel survives

0:00:58 > 0:01:01# Trubble, Trubble always got a plan

0:01:01 > 0:01:05# Hotel Trubble we're your biggest fan!

0:01:05 > 0:01:09# Trubble, Trubble keep the hotel alive. #

0:01:20 > 0:01:23Oh! Top of the morning to you, Sally.

0:01:23 > 0:01:27Oh! That's not your usual magazine! What's going on?

0:01:27 > 0:01:30They'd run out of Gossip magazine by the time I got there.

0:01:30 > 0:01:32But still, better than nothing!

0:01:32 > 0:01:36I've just been reading about the history of child lion tamers.

0:01:36 > 0:01:40Did you know that in ancient medieval Slovakia

0:01:40 > 0:01:43they could tame lions just by simply whispering the words...

0:01:43 > 0:01:45- Sorry, Sally, I'm gonna have to stop you there.- Why?

0:01:45 > 0:01:48Because I'm really bored.

0:01:48 > 0:01:52And also, I want to know what you think of my new outfit!

0:01:54 > 0:01:56Yeah, why are you dressed as a chicken?

0:01:56 > 0:01:59Because Mr Trubble said seeing as it's a special occasion

0:01:59 > 0:02:02that I should come dressed up! So here I am, dressed up!

0:02:02 > 0:02:06He probably meant dress smart, rather than come as a chicken.

0:02:06 > 0:02:08Oh.

0:02:08 > 0:02:11Well, smart clothes are so expensive...

0:02:11 > 0:02:13and this was going cheep!

0:02:13 > 0:02:16Cheep. Get it?

0:02:16 > 0:02:18Because chickens go cheep.

0:02:18 > 0:02:23You haven't got a laugh for me on my special day?

0:02:25 > 0:02:27Cheep, cheep!

0:02:31 > 0:02:35"On his special day"? I wonder what he meant.

0:02:38 > 0:02:40What's it today, Mrs Poshington?

0:02:40 > 0:02:43The walls not straight enough?

0:02:43 > 0:02:44The moon not bright enough?

0:02:44 > 0:02:49Oh, I know, breakfast tasted too much like food! Or...

0:02:49 > 0:02:52ANGELIC SINGING

0:02:53 > 0:02:56Don't mind that. That's just me nun-brella.

0:03:00 > 0:03:03- I beg your pardon, Sister...- Matic.

0:03:03 > 0:03:07Oh. What can I do for you, Sister Matic?

0:03:07 > 0:03:11Well, as you know, Sister Derek and I's been staying here

0:03:11 > 0:03:14at Hotel Trubble for three nights now.

0:03:14 > 0:03:17For your sins!

0:03:17 > 0:03:19Yeah. Very good.

0:03:19 > 0:03:22We've been staying here for three nights now,

0:03:22 > 0:03:26and I's beginning to think to myself, "Hello, hello, hello,

0:03:26 > 0:03:30"if this nun ain't very much mistaken, she smells trouble."

0:03:30 > 0:03:32I did ask Mr Trubble

0:03:32 > 0:03:35if you could use a plug-in air freshener on a human being,

0:03:35 > 0:03:37- but I don't think he got the message.- No.

0:03:37 > 0:03:40That is not to what I was referring to.

0:03:40 > 0:03:42Oh.

0:03:42 > 0:03:45No. I thinks you've got a menace in your midst.

0:03:45 > 0:03:48On me first morning here,

0:03:48 > 0:03:54- I wakes up, six prompt as usual, to go outdoors to play...- Play?

0:03:54 > 0:03:56Did I say play? No, sorry.

0:03:56 > 0:03:58I meant "pray". Yes, pray.

0:03:58 > 0:04:02We loves to go outdoors to pray, don't we, Sister Derek?

0:04:02 > 0:04:03- Yes...- Ah!

0:04:03 > 0:04:06Vow of silence, Sister Derek!

0:04:06 > 0:04:11Yes, we love to...go outdoors for a pray on a pleasant morning.

0:04:11 > 0:04:14- Usually with a bat and ball! - And sometimes Frisbees!

0:04:14 > 0:04:19Er, vow of silence, Sister Derek!

0:04:19 > 0:04:20She's always forgetting.

0:04:20 > 0:04:25Sorry about that. You see trouble is, she's not actually religious.

0:04:25 > 0:04:27Anyway, there's a knock at me door.

0:04:27 > 0:04:33So, I goes to it, turned the handle, opens the door...

0:04:33 > 0:04:36- DOOR CREAKS - "Can I help you?"

0:04:36 > 0:04:40says I. But there was no-one there.

0:04:40 > 0:04:45I look around, I look down, and there was

0:04:45 > 0:04:48some strange-looking food there.

0:04:48 > 0:04:50So I tastes it.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55Very weird it was, too.

0:04:59 > 0:05:00So what you're saying is

0:05:00 > 0:05:05someone's been making false room service orders to the Sister's room.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07Tuesday, swan pate.

0:05:07 > 0:05:10- Yesterday, chocolate bis... - SQUAWK

0:05:10 > 0:05:15..and today, pepperoni and petrol milkshake.

0:05:15 > 0:05:17Hmm. I remember thinking that

0:05:17 > 0:05:21was an unusual order at the time, especially for a couple of nuns.

0:05:21 > 0:05:23Does she have any idea who's making them?

0:05:23 > 0:05:27Well, no, but she suspects that the hotel menace

0:05:27 > 0:05:29is the same person who's been...

0:05:29 > 0:05:31tying Lenny's shoelaces together!

0:05:31 > 0:05:34Yeah. But I've solved that problem now. No more laces!

0:05:34 > 0:05:37I'm wearing shoeboxes now!

0:05:37 > 0:05:40- Good thinking, Lenny. - Yeah. No more tripping up for me!

0:05:40 > 0:05:42Oh!

0:05:42 > 0:05:43Anyway,

0:05:43 > 0:05:47Sister Matic saw a woman running away from the scene of the crime.

0:05:47 > 0:05:52So far this woman's identity remains completely unknown, possibly

0:05:52 > 0:05:55- even to herself.- Very interesting.

0:05:55 > 0:05:58And what does this so-called "woman"

0:05:58 > 0:06:03- look like?- Well, she's very odd, but very glamorous.

0:06:03 > 0:06:08She wears a pink chiffon blouse, a tweed jacket and a red fascinator.

0:06:08 > 0:06:11And every time she's been seen,

0:06:11 > 0:06:14- she's had a stuffed cat under her arm.- Ooh.

0:06:14 > 0:06:18I've never seen anyone like that in my whole life!

0:06:18 > 0:06:21- DING! - Ah! Crumpets!

0:06:21 > 0:06:25All this talk of a menace has made me jumpy as a sackful of badgers!

0:06:25 > 0:06:27And today of all days.

0:06:27 > 0:06:28Exactly.

0:06:28 > 0:06:30What?

0:06:35 > 0:06:37Ah, Mrs Poshington.

0:06:37 > 0:06:43- What can I do for you today?- The telephone in my room is out of order.

0:06:43 > 0:06:45Why, what did it say?

0:06:45 > 0:06:49- It was out of order! It's not working!- Oh!

0:06:49 > 0:06:53My mistake! Don't worry, I'll get Lenny to come up and fix it for you.

0:06:53 > 0:06:57Oh, not Lenny! Anyone but Lenny!

0:06:57 > 0:07:02The last time he fixed something in my room, he accidentally made

0:07:02 > 0:07:07the trouser press play the latest Britney Spears single!

0:07:07 > 0:07:08QUICK BLAST OF MUSIC

0:07:08 > 0:07:10It was awful!

0:07:13 > 0:07:15Just Mrs P, I'm afraid.

0:07:15 > 0:07:20- Ah, not the hotel menace then? That is a shame.- Well, she's not

0:07:20 > 0:07:23just gonna turn up at reception and hand herself in, is she?

0:07:23 > 0:07:25Stuffed cat, you say?

0:07:25 > 0:07:27That's right, yes.

0:07:27 > 0:07:30Who would carry a thing like that?

0:07:30 > 0:07:32I mean, Mrs Poshington's got a cat,

0:07:32 > 0:07:35but hers is very much in the peak of health!

0:07:35 > 0:07:36MIAOW!

0:07:37 > 0:07:41I've got it! Why don't I do you a drawing?

0:07:53 > 0:07:58- Ah! That's very good!- Yeah. - But can you do one of the menace?

0:07:58 > 0:08:00Ah. I see!

0:08:05 > 0:08:08Right, so we've got a description of the hotel menace,

0:08:08 > 0:08:13so let's get the public to use the potatoes to try and identify her.

0:08:13 > 0:08:15Hi there. Do you have two minutes, ladies?

0:08:15 > 0:08:17Can you just help us with our...?

0:08:17 > 0:08:21We're working with the police on CRIMS. Excuse me, will you help us?

0:08:21 > 0:08:24We're working with the police on a new criminal identity system.

0:08:24 > 0:08:26- With potatoes. - Could you help us, sir?

0:08:26 > 0:08:30- It's using household objects to help identify criminals.- Like potatoes.

0:08:30 > 0:08:33So there's a hotel menace on the loose at the moment.

0:08:33 > 0:08:37- It's a prototype with the police at the moment.- Let me describe her...

0:08:37 > 0:08:41- She is...- She's posh and she's... Seems a very crazy idea.

0:08:41 > 0:08:44Get the public to match them up to what they think they would look like.

0:08:44 > 0:08:46Is this a joke?

0:08:46 > 0:08:49It's a prototype that we're working with the police at the moment.

0:08:49 > 0:08:52It seems quite crazy cos it's with potatoes,

0:08:52 > 0:08:55but what we're doing is trying to match up what a criminal

0:08:55 > 0:08:59might look like through various different features like eyes, nose...

0:08:59 > 0:09:01But you can't really do it by that, cos a criminal

0:09:01 > 0:09:04- can look like anything. - You put it on there for the head.

0:09:05 > 0:09:07- And with the hair it's quite good.- Yeah.

0:09:07 > 0:09:09Yeah, yeah, they do. That's right.

0:09:09 > 0:09:12- Thank you for helping us. - Yeah, thank you very much.

0:09:12 > 0:09:14With a face on the potato

0:09:14 > 0:09:17- of what you think the hotel menace will look like.- Sorry.

0:09:17 > 0:09:19So, all you need to do is stick things on the potato.

0:09:19 > 0:09:23- It'll take a minute of your time. - What looks like?- A hotel menace.

0:09:23 > 0:09:25She's... We, we know that she's very old.

0:09:25 > 0:09:28Very old. Glamorous. Very glamorous.

0:09:30 > 0:09:32Yeah, lips. She's got lips.

0:09:32 > 0:09:35I mean, that is quite an old look.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37What about a nose? She's probably got a nose.

0:09:38 > 0:09:42Right, so this is what you think the hotel menace looks like

0:09:42 > 0:09:45- from the description I gave you? - Yeah.

0:09:45 > 0:09:50- OK.- Yeah.- We'll pass the information on to the CRIMS department.

0:09:50 > 0:09:53- I think you've done well. - Thank you very much.

0:09:53 > 0:09:56- We'll get that back to the police and see what they think.- Thank you.

0:09:58 > 0:10:00So we've got all the potato fits.

0:10:00 > 0:10:03Still not sure if we've got the hotel menace.

0:10:10 > 0:10:13It's amazing! No-one in the whole world

0:10:13 > 0:10:17seems to have any idea who the hotel menace might be!

0:10:17 > 0:10:20Well, a master criminal's not gonna draw attention to himself.

0:10:20 > 0:10:24I mean he's not gonna turn up to work dressed in a chicken costume, is he?

0:10:24 > 0:10:27No! Who'd do a daft thing like that?

0:10:27 > 0:10:29- Lenny.- What?

0:10:31 > 0:10:32Ahhh!

0:10:34 > 0:10:35Ah, Sister Matic!

0:10:35 > 0:10:38Hello, hello, hello! Have you

0:10:38 > 0:10:42caught this so-called woman then, by which I means the hotel menace?

0:10:42 > 0:10:45No, Sister Matic. I'm afraid we're none the wiser.

0:10:45 > 0:10:49All nuns are wise, Jamie. We have a lot of thinking time.

0:10:49 > 0:10:53But that's not the issue in hand at the moment.

0:10:53 > 0:10:57I'm afraid - and you're not gonna like this - the hotel menace

0:10:57 > 0:10:59has struck again!

0:11:02 > 0:11:05And most horrific came!

0:11:05 > 0:11:08Er, vow of silence, Sister Derek!

0:11:08 > 0:11:14I know it's upsetting and that, but can you keep your trap shut?!

0:11:14 > 0:11:16You come with me, young man.

0:11:16 > 0:11:20But I warn you, it ain't a pretty sight, oh, no!

0:11:22 > 0:11:27Well, in all me years as a nun, I ain't seen nun-thing like it.

0:11:28 > 0:11:32# Happy birthday to me. Ha... #

0:11:32 > 0:11:34Ah, Mrs P. Can you believe this?

0:11:34 > 0:11:37Bloke in here went to work dressed as a crab. What an idiot!

0:11:37 > 0:11:40Oh. Anyway, what can I do for ya?

0:11:40 > 0:11:42Roses are red,

0:11:42 > 0:11:44violets are blue,

0:11:44 > 0:11:46Trubble stinks

0:11:46 > 0:11:48and so do you!

0:11:48 > 0:11:54- What can it mean?- Well, Jamie, when a criminal mastermind turns to writing

0:11:54 > 0:11:57poetry, it can only mean one thing.

0:12:00 > 0:12:05They plan to explode this here hotel.

0:12:05 > 0:12:07Gosh!

0:12:08 > 0:12:11- Really?- Yep. Indubitably.

0:12:11 > 0:12:15I think you'll find that I am the nun the wiser, so to speak,

0:12:15 > 0:12:20after all, the hotel menace can't have got far.

0:12:20 > 0:12:24The ink's still wet.

0:12:24 > 0:12:25You can't do anything, Lenny.

0:12:25 > 0:12:28I'm just returning this pen.

0:12:31 > 0:12:33I borrowed it to write a letter to my sister.

0:12:33 > 0:12:36Oh, what letter did you write? My favourite letter is J.

0:12:36 > 0:12:41- Oh, OK.- No, not O, J.- Yes, I see!

0:12:41 > 0:12:44- No, not I or C, J!- Why J!

0:12:44 > 0:12:46No, not Y J, just J on its own!

0:12:46 > 0:12:48This conversation has to stop!

0:12:48 > 0:12:51Anyway, Mrs P, I'm sure it was lovely to get any letter from you.

0:12:51 > 0:12:53What a nice, kind lady you are.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55Hmm.

0:12:58 > 0:13:01Explode the hotel?! Are you sure?

0:13:01 > 0:13:05Well, that's what Sister Matic told me.

0:13:05 > 0:13:08- And how many examples are there of lying nuns?- None.

0:13:08 > 0:13:09Where?

0:13:09 > 0:13:10Oh.

0:13:10 > 0:13:14- Right, I see what you mean.- Listen, we'd better do something fast.

0:13:14 > 0:13:19Now, the hotel menace has left no clues except one - her handwriting.

0:13:19 > 0:13:22We need to get samples of everyone's handwriting

0:13:22 > 0:13:25and match them up so we can find out who the menace is.

0:13:25 > 0:13:26Everyone's handwriting?

0:13:26 > 0:13:29Everyone's in the whole world? Have we got enough time?

0:13:29 > 0:13:33You're right, that would take at least three episodes.

0:13:33 > 0:13:36But we've gotta get out there and make a start

0:13:36 > 0:13:38and check as many people in the local area as possible.

0:13:38 > 0:13:41OK, let's go.

0:13:41 > 0:13:44Right, we need to get handwriting samples.

0:13:44 > 0:13:46Oh, I know!

0:13:46 > 0:13:49- We can pretend we're getting everyone's autograph.- Yeah.

0:13:49 > 0:13:52Your Majesty, can I get your autograph, please?

0:13:52 > 0:13:55- Oh, my goodness! - Are you Prince Philip?

0:13:55 > 0:13:58- Prince Philip and...- The Queen! - Oh, yeah, we look just like them.

0:13:58 > 0:14:00Can we just get your autograph, please?

0:14:00 > 0:14:04- Please can I have your autograph? - Right there.- Thank you so much!

0:14:04 > 0:14:06Oh, wow! The Queen.

0:14:06 > 0:14:09- Ooh! Thank you!- Thank you. Thank you very much.

0:14:10 > 0:14:14Excuse me, are you Dakota Fanning, the actress?

0:14:14 > 0:14:15I've seen all your films!

0:14:15 > 0:14:19- And I loved you in...- Man On Fire! Yeah. Oh, can I have your autograph?

0:14:19 > 0:14:21- Yeah, that would be great.- Thank you!

0:14:21 > 0:14:24Oh, my God, are you Bruce Willis?

0:14:24 > 0:14:27Oh, Bruce, I've seen all your films!

0:14:27 > 0:14:30Oh, excuse me, are you the lady from The Apprentice - Margaret?

0:14:30 > 0:14:35- Are you Margaret?- Can I have your autograph, please, Margaret?

0:14:35 > 0:14:38Britney! Oh, my gosh, Britney, can I have your...? Are you Britney?

0:14:38 > 0:14:42- Are you that "I don't believe it!"? - Can we have your autograph?

0:14:42 > 0:14:43Is that you? Oh, please!

0:14:43 > 0:14:45- Take the pen. - No, he's gonna sign mine.

0:14:45 > 0:14:47- Is that Judi Dench? - That's Judi Dench.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50- I'm not Judi Dench.- Dame Judi Dench.

0:14:50 > 0:14:52Dame Judi. Thanks, Dame Judi.

0:14:52 > 0:14:55- Oh, wow!- Jamie, it's Girls Aloud!

0:14:55 > 0:14:58- Oh, my God!- Oh, my God, Girls Aloud.

0:14:58 > 0:15:01Oh, we know your song... # You're gonna make me make... #

0:15:01 > 0:15:05- Can we get your autographs, please? - Can we get your autographs?- Please!

0:15:05 > 0:15:06You don't do autographs?

0:15:06 > 0:15:08PIERCING SCREAM

0:15:08 > 0:15:10- You know who it is!- Zac!

0:15:10 > 0:15:12Oh, my God! Zac Efron, can you...?

0:15:12 > 0:15:14Just sign it. Sign, please, Zac.

0:15:14 > 0:15:19- Wow. No, I know. Cheryl Cole. - Cheryl Cole!

0:15:19 > 0:15:21Cheryl Cole. Cheryl Cole! Cheryl!

0:15:21 > 0:15:23Cheryl! Cheryl! Oh, my God!

0:15:23 > 0:15:25Are you guys from High School Musical?

0:15:25 > 0:15:27- Are you the cast of High School Musical?- Are you Sharpay?

0:15:27 > 0:15:30I can't even believe you're in the same building as me

0:15:30 > 0:15:33breathing the same air! Can I get your autograph?

0:15:33 > 0:15:36- You can all sign it at the same time!- Please, just sign!

0:15:36 > 0:15:39- Anne Robinson.- You are. Oh, please can I get your autograph?

0:15:39 > 0:15:40- Don't be shy.- I'm your biggest fan.

0:15:46 > 0:15:51And I said to Sir Larry, "He's got nothing on your bottom at all!"

0:15:51 > 0:15:55And we... We laughed. And then it turned out

0:15:55 > 0:15:59it was the red herring what did it after all. Which was a surprise

0:15:59 > 0:16:03to all of us, because whoever heard of a fish doing a murder?

0:16:03 > 0:16:06- I'm not boring you, am I? - LOUD SNORING

0:16:06 > 0:16:09Oh, there was another time I remember with Stuart Gielgud...

0:16:09 > 0:16:11- Ah...!- Vow of silence, Sister Derek!

0:16:11 > 0:16:12Never mind that now,

0:16:12 > 0:16:15the hotel menace is back!

0:16:15 > 0:16:18But this time she's surpassed herself!

0:16:18 > 0:16:20You'll never guess what she's done!

0:16:22 > 0:16:25Hello! The clue is in the picture!

0:16:27 > 0:16:29Me ginger wig's been nicked!

0:16:29 > 0:16:32And from right under me wimple!

0:16:32 > 0:16:36Lenny, you've gotta catch that hotel menace! You know what they say!

0:16:36 > 0:16:40When a criminal mastermind turns to nicking a ginger wig,

0:16:40 > 0:16:43there is only one thing they intend to do!

0:16:43 > 0:16:45- No!- That's right...

0:16:45 > 0:16:47Explode this here hotel!

0:16:52 > 0:16:55We heard the music! We came straight in. What is it?

0:16:55 > 0:16:57Toot-toot!

0:16:57 > 0:16:59Notice anything different?

0:17:01 > 0:17:03Oh! Ginger really suits you!

0:17:03 > 0:17:05Mrs P, you look gorgeous!

0:17:05 > 0:17:09Thanks. Actually, it's a wig!

0:17:09 > 0:17:11Jamie! Jamie, I've got it!

0:17:11 > 0:17:14The hotel menace! I know who the hotel menace is!

0:17:14 > 0:17:17The room service.

0:17:18 > 0:17:23One pepperoni and petrol milkshake, please!

0:17:26 > 0:17:30- I thought I'd have it done specially.- Oh, and those layers!

0:17:30 > 0:17:32I was just gonna say the layers are really nice.

0:17:32 > 0:17:35- They complement your eyes. - The shoelaces! I reckon...

0:17:42 > 0:17:45Woo hoo hoo hoo hoo!

0:17:45 > 0:17:49- Oh, yeah.- Oh, you look like the ginger one from Girls Aloud!

0:17:49 > 0:17:53I was just gonna say that! You're Nicole!

0:17:53 > 0:17:55The graffiti!

0:17:55 > 0:17:58The pen! Must have been!

0:17:58 > 0:18:02Yee hee hee hee! Hee hee hee!

0:18:02 > 0:18:05Well, I have a few errands to run,

0:18:05 > 0:18:09so I'm going to leave General Poshington with Lenny.

0:18:09 > 0:18:12He's exhausted! Look!

0:18:15 > 0:18:17Jamie, I've worked it out!

0:18:17 > 0:18:20The hotel menace is Mrs Poshington!

0:18:34 > 0:18:38I'll have you know, Lenny, that Mrs Poshington

0:18:38 > 0:18:44is the secretary of the secretary to the National Respectable Society!

0:18:44 > 0:18:48What's more, she has a PhD in loveliness.

0:18:48 > 0:18:51I'll thank you to remember that, Lenny!

0:18:51 > 0:18:55And anyway, we're looking for someone with a stuffed cat!

0:18:56 > 0:18:58- Ah.- Ah.

0:18:58 > 0:19:01You know what, Lenny, for the first time in your life

0:19:01 > 0:19:03you might just have a point there.

0:19:03 > 0:19:06Right, let's follow Mrs P and find out what she's up to.

0:19:06 > 0:19:08Good idea, Jamie!

0:19:12 > 0:19:16- There she is. Let's just tell her what we think.- Yeah, but, Sally,

0:19:16 > 0:19:19- don't be like that...- Mrs P, we're really angry that you've decided

0:19:19 > 0:19:21- to become the hotel menace. - Yeah, but we know that...

0:19:21 > 0:19:24And we can't believe you'd do all those things. Mrs P, look at us!

0:19:24 > 0:19:26We've really tried to...

0:19:26 > 0:19:29- You can just be honest with us! You don't need to lie.- Jamie.

0:19:29 > 0:19:32I'm so sorry. We've got you...

0:19:32 > 0:19:34- It's not Mrs P.- I'm so sorry.

0:19:34 > 0:19:38- You're not Mrs Poshington, are you?! - Oh, I'm sorry!

0:19:38 > 0:19:41- Sorry! What's your name? - What's she saying?

0:19:41 > 0:19:42- What's your name?- We're deaf.

0:19:42 > 0:19:45- We can't hear you.- Oh, sorry!

0:19:45 > 0:19:46We're looking for Mrs Poshington.

0:19:46 > 0:19:50She's like really pretty like you, but you're not her, are you?

0:19:50 > 0:19:51She's not old like me.

0:19:51 > 0:19:53- Do you know her?- No, I don't know what you're talking about!

0:19:53 > 0:19:58- Mrs Dean.- Oh! We were looking for Mrs P! Sorry.- Mrs Poshington.

0:19:58 > 0:19:59You know Mrs Poshington?

0:19:59 > 0:20:02Are you from another planet or something dressed up like that?

0:20:02 > 0:20:03No, just, just Hotel Trubble.

0:20:03 > 0:20:05This is our uniform for our work.

0:20:08 > 0:20:11- Are you, are you in the queue or...? - Go, darling.- Yeah.

0:20:11 > 0:20:14Hello there. You all right? I was just wondering if you can help me.

0:20:14 > 0:20:17We've got General Poshington here and he's looking a bit ropey.

0:20:17 > 0:20:21- Well, it might be cos it's dead! - Don't be silly, it's not dead!

0:20:21 > 0:20:25Do you have anything that can maybe perk him up a bit?

0:20:25 > 0:20:28He's just, he's just having a bit of an off day, so...

0:20:28 > 0:20:32- Yeah?- Give him a mouse! - Give him a mouse. Go on, try it out.

0:20:32 > 0:20:35- Hey!- I think he likes that.

0:20:35 > 0:20:37Well, how much is that?

0:20:37 > 0:20:41To you, being dressed like that, you can have it for nothing.

0:20:41 > 0:20:43Do you like that, General Poshington?

0:20:44 > 0:20:46Come on, General.

0:20:48 > 0:20:52Mrs P! I've seen her in the shop! She's buying the explosives!

0:20:52 > 0:20:55So it's true then, she does mean to explode the hotel!

0:20:59 > 0:21:03Who'da thunk it? Mrs Poshington all along.

0:21:05 > 0:21:09Didn't seem the type, though, did she, with all them airs and graces?

0:21:09 > 0:21:11Mind you, it's always the quiet ones.

0:21:11 > 0:21:13That's why I have to keep such a keen eye

0:21:13 > 0:21:15on this little church mouse.

0:21:15 > 0:21:17But I love talking!

0:21:17 > 0:21:20Vow of silence, Sister Derek, vow of silence.

0:21:20 > 0:21:25So, I suppose that now that Mrs Poshington's been caught

0:21:25 > 0:21:28red-handed, you'll be having to chuck her out, eh?

0:21:30 > 0:21:31I wonder where she'll go?

0:21:31 > 0:21:34Ha-ha! Well, she should have thought of that

0:21:34 > 0:21:36before she got herself into such mischief!

0:21:36 > 0:21:39Well, we'd better be getting on our way.

0:21:39 > 0:21:41Sister Euphamiliata's shift ends at

0:21:41 > 0:21:46six and she does roller disco on a Thursday and they don't hang about!

0:21:46 > 0:21:50Sister Derek, get me to a nunnery!

0:21:50 > 0:21:51< HISSING AND BOOING

0:22:04 > 0:22:07Pardon I. I seems to have left without me...

0:22:07 > 0:22:09nun-brella. Oh, there it is.

0:22:09 > 0:22:11Oh.

0:22:13 > 0:22:15Oh, battery's dead!

0:22:15 > 0:22:17Janet?

0:22:19 > 0:22:22Hang on, you two know each other?

0:22:22 > 0:22:25Well, of course we know each other! We're sisters!

0:22:25 > 0:22:29- Sisters! I don't get it. - Oh, it's when two persons

0:22:29 > 0:22:32of the female persuasion have exactly the same parents, Lenny.

0:22:32 > 0:22:34But never mind that now!

0:22:34 > 0:22:36Yeah, but how can they be sisters?

0:22:36 > 0:22:38No, Lenny, that is not the question.

0:22:38 > 0:22:41The question is, why is Mrs P's sister, Janet,

0:22:41 > 0:22:44staying at Hotel Trubble dressed as a nun?

0:22:44 > 0:22:49No, Jamie, the question is why has Mrs P become the hotel menace?!

0:22:49 > 0:22:52No, Sally, the question is who would win in a fight

0:22:52 > 0:22:54- between a fish and a pair of trousers?!- A fish.

0:22:54 > 0:22:55But that's not important right now!

0:22:55 > 0:22:59We're onto you, Mrs P! We know what you've been up to!

0:22:59 > 0:23:02Yeah, all those dreadful pranks,

0:23:02 > 0:23:07- and you making those silly room service orders!- Impossible!

0:23:07 > 0:23:10- My phone's been out of order for days!- Aha!

0:23:10 > 0:23:12Not since I fixed it, it hasn't!

0:23:12 > 0:23:16Fixed it! Ha! You superglued the receiver to the handset!

0:23:16 > 0:23:19Well, if it wasn't you, Mrs Poshington, who's been

0:23:19 > 0:23:21making all the room service orders?

0:23:21 > 0:23:27Let me guess. Pepperoni and petrol milkshake, was it?

0:23:27 > 0:23:29How did you know?

0:23:29 > 0:23:30My sister's favourite.

0:23:30 > 0:23:32SHE BURPS

0:23:32 > 0:23:36Well, it was you who wrote that horrible poem on the wall!

0:23:36 > 0:23:39- You were the one who borrowed the pen!- What poem?!

0:23:44 > 0:23:47But this is the work of a literary genius!

0:23:47 > 0:23:49I could not possibly have written

0:23:49 > 0:23:51- such a masterpiece! - Well, who did then?!

0:23:51 > 0:23:59I must protest with one correction I have no skill in that direction.

0:23:59 > 0:24:03Well, you stole Sister Matic's wig! We all saw you in it!

0:24:03 > 0:24:06Not so fast, Miss Marple.

0:24:06 > 0:24:10My sister and I have worn wigs all our lives.

0:24:10 > 0:24:13Yeah, it's true. We were born in 'em.

0:24:13 > 0:24:15Hair just doesn't run in our family.

0:24:15 > 0:24:20Ah, no, but my wig has disappeared! That's not a lie!

0:24:20 > 0:24:24Come to think of it, an outfit of mine has disappeared also.

0:24:24 > 0:24:26I thought it might be Sally.

0:24:26 > 0:24:28But...

0:24:36 > 0:24:37Derek?!

0:24:37 > 0:24:43Everyone, meet my brother-in-law, Derek. Nice heels.

0:24:43 > 0:24:48- Oh! I've never met a male nun before!- Well, he's not a nun!

0:24:48 > 0:24:49Neither is my sister!

0:24:49 > 0:24:52- I'm sorry, darling.- Oh, shhh.

0:24:52 > 0:24:57I'm just going to go and put on my silent trousers.

0:24:58 > 0:25:02Well, that may be very well, but we saw you with all those explosives,

0:25:02 > 0:25:05Mrs P. You can't deny that!

0:25:05 > 0:25:09Why on Earth would you do something as horrible as explode a hotel?

0:25:09 > 0:25:12They were not explosives!

0:25:12 > 0:25:14They were fireworks!

0:25:14 > 0:25:19Ah! That's exactly what the hotel menace would say!

0:25:19 > 0:25:23Oh, give it up, Janet! They're fireworks for Lenny's birthday!

0:25:23 > 0:25:28Surely you hadn't forgotten it's Lenny's birthday?

0:25:28 > 0:25:30Um...

0:25:30 > 0:25:33- No!- Of course not!

0:25:33 > 0:25:35That's why we got you...

0:25:35 > 0:25:39this hole punch!

0:25:39 > 0:25:41- Happy birthday, Lenny! - Sorry it's not wrapped!

0:25:41 > 0:25:43Oh, wow!

0:25:43 > 0:25:46Ah, thanks, guys!

0:25:46 > 0:25:51- What is it?- Well, it looks like we've been well and truly had.

0:25:51 > 0:25:53Which just leaves one more question.

0:25:53 > 0:25:55Why?

0:25:55 > 0:26:00I wanted to see you get chucked out of this here plush hotel,

0:26:00 > 0:26:04the same way you got me chucked out of the circus 50 years ago!

0:26:04 > 0:26:05HISSING AND BOOING

0:26:08 > 0:26:13That's it! I thought I recognised you from somewhere!

0:26:14 > 0:26:17It's hard to believe it's us! We look so different!

0:26:18 > 0:26:20The most famous child lion-tamers

0:26:20 > 0:26:24- in Europe - Double Yellow Lines. - CHEERING

0:26:24 > 0:26:27But why did you get me chucked out? Your own sister! Why?!

0:26:27 > 0:26:30Oh, Janet, you know as well as I do!

0:26:30 > 0:26:36Lion taming takes daily practice, and all you wanted to do was play!

0:26:36 > 0:26:38I had to get rid of you!

0:26:38 > 0:26:42But I loves playing and Derek never plays with me!

0:26:42 > 0:26:48All he does is dress up and drone on. Oh, I'm so bored!

0:26:48 > 0:26:50I just wanna play all the time!

0:26:50 > 0:26:54- Remember we used to play Sister Twister?- What's Sister Twister?

0:26:54 > 0:26:57Well, it's like Twister but you can only play it with your sister.

0:26:57 > 0:27:01- I've got a set up in my room!- Aw!- Do you fancy a game?- Oh, yeah, come on!

0:27:01 > 0:27:03All right, come on.

0:27:05 > 0:27:09I'm glad we didn't have to chuck Mrs Poshington out.

0:27:09 > 0:27:13You get fond of a person, don't you, when you see them every day?

0:27:16 > 0:27:17Er...

0:27:17 > 0:27:21- PHONE RINGS - Hello, Hotel Trubble!

0:27:29 > 0:27:31Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:27:31 > 0:27:34E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk