0:00:03 > 0:00:07Welcome to Hotel Trubble! Meet Sally, our receptionist.
0:00:07 > 0:00:09Always service with a smile!
0:00:09 > 0:00:12And that's Lenny. He's a man of many talents.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14HE CRASHES
0:00:14 > 0:00:17We're just not sure what they are yet.
0:00:17 > 0:00:22And here's Mrs Poshington and her cat, General Sirius Poshington.
0:00:22 > 0:00:26- CAT MEOWS - She's our regular pest...I mean guest.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28- HE SIGHS - She never leaves.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Which just leaves me, Jamie.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33- I'm the bellboy. - HE RINGS THE BELL
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Can I take your bags?
0:00:35 > 0:00:38# Hotel Trubble, forever
0:00:38 > 0:00:41# It's the pits and we know it
0:00:41 > 0:00:42# We're stuck but we love it
0:00:42 > 0:00:46# Hotel Trubble, forever
0:00:46 > 0:00:50# As we try to survive, each day brings disaster
0:00:50 > 0:00:53# Hotel Trubble, forever
0:00:53 > 0:00:58# We're a team staying calm, arm in arm, so the hotel survives
0:00:58 > 0:01:00# Trubble, Trubble
0:01:00 > 0:01:01# Always got a plan
0:01:01 > 0:01:06# Hotel Trubble, we're your biggest fan
0:01:06 > 0:01:10# Trubble, Trubble, keep the hotel alive. #
0:01:17 > 0:01:19Alligator wrestler.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23ALLIGATOR CHOMPS AND CHEWS
0:01:23 > 0:01:25Nah!
0:01:27 > 0:01:30Oh, Mrs Poshington, let me take your bag.
0:01:30 > 0:01:34Ah, Mrs Poshington, would you like a nice cup of tea?
0:01:34 > 0:01:36A 12 course medieval banquet?
0:01:36 > 0:01:39Formation aeroplane display and fireworks extravaganza?
0:01:39 > 0:01:41No, Sally, I do not want an
0:01:41 > 0:01:46aeroplane display OR a fireworks extravaganza, thank you very much.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48I can make you a balloon John Barrowman.
0:01:48 > 0:01:49I know how much you like him.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Oh, no thank you, Lenny.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59I've plenty of balloon John Barrowmans, thank you very much.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02- All I want... - I could shave your corns.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05- I could wax your back. - I could read your mind.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08You're thinking of a big pile of doughnuts.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11Oh, with jam and cream and...
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Oh, no, wait, that's what I'm thinking of.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15No, thank you, I do not want any of these things.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17I just want to be left alone.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20It's not my fault I'm the only guest here at the moment!
0:02:20 > 0:02:23Ah, Mrs Poshington, I was just coming to look for you.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Is there anything I can get for you?
0:02:25 > 0:02:27A cup of tea? A newspaper?
0:02:27 > 0:02:31A 100-piece philharmonic orchestra playing your personal soundtrack?!
0:02:31 > 0:02:35- FANFARE PLAYS - Ahhh!- Oh...
0:02:35 > 0:02:39- Sorry guys, she said, "No." - CRASHING AND ANGRY SHOUTING
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Ever since that hotel opened across town,
0:02:41 > 0:02:43it's been like a ghost town around here.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Do you remember when I saw that ghost in room 12?
0:02:45 > 0:02:48I keep telling you, that wasn't a ghost.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50- It was the maid changing the duvet. - Oh...
0:02:50 > 0:02:53I wish you could save time in some kind of special time bank and
0:02:53 > 0:02:56then you could withdraw it when you needed to and you could save
0:02:56 > 0:02:58it all up for a rainy day.
0:02:58 > 0:03:02Oh, on a rainy day you'd probably have lots of spare time, so maybe
0:03:02 > 0:03:05you could use it for a sunny day and then use it all the time for when
0:03:05 > 0:03:08- you've got lots of jobs to do and you need some more time.- You know,
0:03:08 > 0:03:11I'm so bored that was actually almost interesting, Lenny.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14PHONE RINGS
0:03:15 > 0:03:16I've got it!
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Hello, Hotel Trubble.
0:03:19 > 0:03:23You want to book a room? OK, well what's the name?
0:03:24 > 0:03:28I-M-A Bimbo.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31- I-M-A Bimbo? - LAUGHTER
0:03:31 > 0:03:34I'm a bimbo!? Hey!
0:03:34 > 0:03:37It was a prank call.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39That's the 27th one this morning.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42- It's a bit fishy, don't you think? - Sorry, that's me.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46I ate some of General Poshington's cat food earlier.
0:03:46 > 0:03:50No, no, no, it was lovely but doesn't half make you burp.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53HE BURPS LOUDLY
0:03:53 > 0:03:56CONTINUES BURPING
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Ugh.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00Sick.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10So... How many of Hotel Trubble's
0:04:10 > 0:04:12customers have we poached now, Susie?
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Ah!
0:04:14 > 0:04:1814 so far! And we've got that Dracula convention coming later.
0:04:18 > 0:04:24I told them that Hotel Trubble had garlic mushrooms on the menu!
0:04:24 > 0:04:28- THEY LAUGH - Excellent!
0:04:28 > 0:04:31This town ain't big enough for two hotels.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34You'd be surprised, I thought me mouth wasn't big enough
0:04:34 > 0:04:37for these two giant gobstoppers but it actually is.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40- GOBSTOPPERS POP - There we are.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42HE MUMBLES WITH HIS MOUTH FULL
0:04:42 > 0:04:46Yes. I couldn't agree more, Larry, but we've got work to do.
0:04:46 > 0:04:50If only we could persuade that posh bird to leave,
0:04:50 > 0:04:53then they'd definitely have to close.
0:04:53 > 0:04:57- HE MUMBLES - Precisely.- Yeah.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Larry, get rid of some of that luggage.
0:05:00 > 0:05:05Oh, and Susie, isn't it time for another one of those calls?
0:05:05 > 0:05:10Well, it has been five minutes since the last one!
0:05:13 > 0:05:15CRASHING
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Hello, Hotel Trubble.
0:05:19 > 0:05:23Yes, I'd like to book a room
0:05:23 > 0:05:28in the name of Y-M-I Sodumb.
0:05:28 > 0:05:32I don't know, why are you so dumb?! SHE SCREAMS
0:05:32 > 0:05:34THEY LAUGH
0:05:34 > 0:05:37Ah, that is top, top.
0:05:43 > 0:05:49Well, that was our last booking calling to cancel.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51They said... "I'll never stay at Hotel Trubble
0:05:51 > 0:05:54"and neither will my mum, dad, nan or my brother or my boss or
0:05:54 > 0:05:57"my neighbour or other neighbour, number 45 who's hedges
0:05:57 > 0:06:00"are like Telly Tubbies or my mate, and his girlfriend, Selina,
0:06:00 > 0:06:02"who I quite fancy. Or the man in the supermarket..."
0:06:02 > 0:06:06If we don't get some guests soon, Hotel Trubble is in really
0:06:06 > 0:06:11big trouble and by trouble I mean T-R-U-B-B-L-E, trubble.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14No, no I don't, no I don't, I mean the other trouble which goes
0:06:14 > 0:06:18T-R-O-U-B-L-E, trouble, the actually serious trouble.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Look, we need to think of something, but what?
0:06:21 > 0:06:26- Got it.- What?- I know exactly what we need.- Yes, come on.
0:06:26 > 0:06:27We need...
0:06:27 > 0:06:28DRUM ROLL ..an idea.
0:06:28 > 0:06:32Yes, yes, that's right, Lenny, we do INDEED need an idea.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34Have you got one?!
0:06:35 > 0:06:40You know what? If you want something done around here, do it yourself.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44Right, OK, look, the problem is nobody's coming to Hotel Trubble,
0:06:44 > 0:06:45but what's the solution?
0:06:45 > 0:06:48If people won't come to Hotel Trubble...
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Take Hotel Trubble to the people.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Shh, Lenny, can you keep it down? I'm just trying to think, yeah?
0:06:53 > 0:06:55If the people won't come to Hotel Trubble...
0:06:55 > 0:06:58Take Hotel Trubble to the people.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01If the people won't come to Hotel Trubble... I've got it.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04ALL: Take Hotel Trubble to the people!
0:07:04 > 0:07:07I said it first. I just want that noted, it was my idea.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10Huh? OK?
0:07:12 > 0:07:15Well, come on, let's give the people what they want!
0:07:15 > 0:07:17OK, we're at the shopping centre.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20- Sally, you've got the leaflets?- Yes. - Lenny, you've got the tea tray?
0:07:20 > 0:07:25Great, OK, let's bring Hotel Trubble to the people.
0:07:25 > 0:07:29Come stay at Hotel Trubble, the best hotel town.
0:07:29 > 0:07:30- In the world.- In the world.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32- In the whole universe. - That's a bit over the top.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35Do you want to just take a seat on the comfy bed?
0:07:35 > 0:07:37- What style hotel is it? - It's a seven star.
0:07:37 > 0:07:41- Read on there, one star there. - No, I'm joking, it's three star.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44- Put a little bathrobe on you. - Oh, right. Thank you.
0:07:44 > 0:07:49- And then you can have a sleep in the bed.- If you'd like to fall asleep.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52I'll tuck you in.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Ring-ring, ring-ring, ring-ring.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58Oh, what is it? Room service.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01- Spa there?- There's a Spar down the road, it sells milk and bread.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04- No, she means like a proper spa. - Not the shop!
0:08:04 > 0:08:08- Knock, knock.- Oh, knock knock. I'll get it for you, you lay there.
0:08:08 > 0:08:09Room service. Hello.
0:08:09 > 0:08:13I've got one cheeseburger with large fries coming up.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16- I ordered a fillet steak. - He ordered a fillet steak.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19Fillet steak? Oh, sorry, I must have got the...one second.
0:08:19 > 0:08:23- Beef stew, is that not?- No, it's not.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27- Yes.- This is a new craze in a teacup.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29You guys are comedians.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31# Welcome to the Karma Hotel
0:08:31 > 0:08:33# Looks like Heaven but could be Hell
0:08:33 > 0:08:36# Where pleasant screams transform to yells
0:08:36 > 0:08:38# And every suite casts its own spell
0:08:38 > 0:08:41# Welcome to the Karma Hotel... # MUSIC SCRATCHES
0:08:43 > 0:08:45- Stay at Hotel...- What are you doing?
0:08:45 > 0:08:47- No, stop it. - Stay at Hot...- Get off the bed.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50- No.- I just...- No.
0:08:54 > 0:08:59So, we managed to drum up a grand total of how many new customers?
0:08:59 > 0:09:02- Hold on. - SHE TYPES ON THE COMPUTER
0:09:02 > 0:09:05- None. - Check the phone is working, Sally.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07- Again?- Yes, again.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10It's working.
0:09:10 > 0:09:14- Ta-la!- No, Lenny, we can't put that up, it makes us look desperate.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18Nobody wants to stay at a hotel that nobody ELSE wants to stay at.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21We need to make them think that everyone wants to stay here, even
0:09:21 > 0:09:24- if no-one wants to stay here. - Sorry, could you say that again?
0:09:24 > 0:09:28This is terrible. Mr Trubble is not going to be happy.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31We need to do something. I know what we can do.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35- Come on, we can hold hands and sing a little song about a unicorn.- No.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37# Unicorn, with your lovely horn... #
0:09:37 > 0:09:41No, Lenny, something about bringing people back to the hotel.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44We can have a food fight with custard pies!
0:09:44 > 0:09:45Oh, no.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47- SHE GASPS - I've got it! I know.
0:09:47 > 0:09:51MUSIC: "Get Ready For This" by 2 Unlimited
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Are you all ready for this?
0:09:54 > 0:09:58CHEERING AND MUSIC
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Are you OK, Sally? Something you ate?
0:10:00 > 0:10:03- Shall I call an ambulance? - You probably should.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05- SIREN BLARES - No, I'm cheerleading.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07We can do cheers for Hotel Trubble.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Well, what's the point? There's nobody here to see them.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13No, out on the streets.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15It'll be a great way to get everyone
0:10:15 > 0:10:17all excited about coming to Hotel Trubble.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Can we do it? I always wanted to be a cheerleader.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23I've always wanted to wear those pom-pom things on my hands.
0:10:23 > 0:10:24They remind me of candy floss.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27Imagine having candy floss for hands.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Ah, amazing.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32I don't know, Sally. Looks quite difficult to me, to be honest.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35No, it's as easy as ABC, honestly.
0:10:35 > 0:10:39- I was Madonna's private cheerleader. - MADONNA: And you can dance!
0:10:39 > 0:10:40Ready? OK!
0:10:40 > 0:10:44She's the queen of pop and her records are gold!
0:10:44 > 0:10:47She's really, really fit, even though she's old!
0:10:47 > 0:10:50Go Madonna! Yay!
0:10:50 > 0:10:53Yeah!
0:10:53 > 0:10:56I guess we are a bit desperate and nobody else has come up with
0:10:56 > 0:10:59any ideas so, unless you've come up with something, Lenny?
0:10:59 > 0:11:03- # That's the wonder... # - MUSIC SCRATCHES
0:11:05 > 0:11:07OK, let's do it.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09# The wonder of you... #
0:11:09 > 0:11:11ALL: The power, the might,
0:11:11 > 0:11:16you won't believe the hype at Hotel Trubble, oh, yeah!
0:11:16 > 0:11:18- Whoo!- Whoo-hoo!
0:11:18 > 0:11:22ALL: The power, the might, you can't believe the hype
0:11:22 > 0:11:24at Hotel Trubble, oh, yeah!
0:11:24 > 0:11:26# Oh Mickey, you're so fine
0:11:26 > 0:11:30# You're so fine you blow my mind Hey Mickey! Hey Mickey!
0:11:30 > 0:11:32# Oh Mickey, you're so fine
0:11:32 > 0:11:36# You're so fine you blow my mind Hey Mickey! Hey Mickey!
0:11:36 > 0:11:39# Oh Mickey, you're so fine
0:11:39 > 0:11:43# You're so fine you blow my mind Hey Mickey! Hey Mickey!
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Whoo!
0:11:46 > 0:11:50- APPLAUSE - Thank you.
0:11:51 > 0:11:52Look at us, we're so supple.
0:11:52 > 0:11:59- That's cos we're from Hotel Trubble. Hotel Trubble.- Whoo!- Whoo!
0:11:59 > 0:12:04# Let's do the cheerleader flip Let's do the cheerleader flip
0:12:04 > 0:12:08# Let rip get out of the zip
0:12:08 > 0:12:11# Hip, hip, sharp as a whip
0:12:14 > 0:12:18# The cheerleader flip... #
0:12:23 > 0:12:25Hotel Trubble!
0:12:25 > 0:12:30Hotel Trubble, Hotel Trubble, Hotel Trubble!
0:12:30 > 0:12:33- Let's all go to Hotel Trubble. - Whoo-hoo!- Whoo-hoo!
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Sally?
0:12:38 > 0:12:41Jamie? Where is everybody?
0:12:41 > 0:12:47Honestly, one minute they're all over me and the next I'm lonelier
0:12:47 > 0:12:49than the lonely goatherd.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52# Yodel, yodel-layee, yodel-lay he he!
0:12:52 > 0:12:55# Yodel, yodel-layee, yodel-lay he he! #
0:12:55 > 0:12:57CAT MEOWS
0:12:57 > 0:13:00PHONE AND ALARM RINGS
0:13:03 > 0:13:04CAT MEOWS
0:13:06 > 0:13:11Hello, Hotel Trubble, how may I be of service?
0:13:11 > 0:13:15Oh, hello, Mr Trubble, Mrs Poshington here.
0:13:15 > 0:13:19Yes, it has been a while.
0:13:19 > 0:13:25Tell me, are you still wearing your spandex jumpsuits?
0:13:25 > 0:13:29No? Just a passing phase, you say.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32Ah, shame.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34What's that?
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Hotel Dribble?
0:13:36 > 0:13:38On the other side of town?
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Stealing our customers?!
0:13:41 > 0:13:44DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS
0:13:44 > 0:13:47And Hotel Trubble might have to close down?!
0:13:47 > 0:13:51DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Phew, well, we can't have that now.
0:13:53 > 0:13:58- DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS AND SCRATCHES - NARRATOR: Oh, get on with it!
0:13:58 > 0:14:00What can I do? Yes...
0:14:01 > 0:14:04Ah...
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Mm-hm...
0:14:06 > 0:14:10Oh, OK, if that's what you want.
0:14:10 > 0:14:14We'll go. Roger, over and out.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Now, you stay there, Sirius. CAT MEOWS
0:14:20 > 0:14:22I have just got to write...
0:14:25 > 0:14:27I'll be back soon.
0:14:37 > 0:14:41Hotel Dribble, Hotel Dribble, it's all anyone can talk about.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44- I'm really going to give them what for.- What for?
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Because they deserve it.
0:14:49 > 0:14:53Hello, Hotel Dribble? Yes, this is Jamie over at Hotel Trubble.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56'Loser, loser.'
0:14:56 > 0:15:02No, not a LOSER actually. What?
0:15:02 > 0:15:06Huh, yes, now I know you're lying, you losers, because she
0:15:06 > 0:15:09would never do that. No way.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13They're saying that Mrs Poshington's gone over to
0:15:13 > 0:15:16stay at Hotel Dribble and now that we've got no guests, we're going to
0:15:16 > 0:15:19have to close the hotel. As if!
0:15:21 > 0:15:25Actually, Jamie... I think she has gone.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28Look, listen to this note.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32"Dear Hotel Trubble staff, I've gone to Hotel Dribble. Bye bye.
0:15:32 > 0:15:37"Byeee. Bye bye. Bye-zee-bye-bye. Bye bye bye.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39"Mrs Poshington".
0:15:39 > 0:15:42Well, that's it, then.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45You can't run a hotel without any guests.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47We're going to have to close.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Hotel Trubble is no more.
0:15:51 > 0:15:56- I've failed. Hotel Dribble have won. - SAD MUSIC PLAYS
0:16:03 > 0:16:06CHEERING AND MUSIC PLAYS
0:16:06 > 0:16:08Hotel Trubble?
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Hotel completely rubbish with no guests and therefore
0:16:11 > 0:16:13not even a hotel any more, more like.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16Ah, I don't know Johnny, that's a bit long for an hotel name.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18People will struggle to remember it.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21Now that Hotel Trubble's going to close down,
0:16:21 > 0:16:23the staff will be out of work and...
0:16:23 > 0:16:26And if we offered them jobs, then it would really be over for that stupid
0:16:26 > 0:16:29bell boy and his stupid hotel.
0:16:29 > 0:16:30Oh, I am so clever.
0:16:30 > 0:16:34- I am such an evil genius. - HE LAUGHS
0:16:34 > 0:16:36- Do you want a gobstopper?- No.
0:16:39 > 0:16:43A hotel without guests is like a...
0:16:43 > 0:16:45a broken pencil, pointless.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Hold on, that's a bit weird.
0:16:49 > 0:16:53Why would Mrs Poshington leave General Poshington here if she'd
0:16:53 > 0:16:56gone to live at Hotel Dribble? Jamie, do you think that maybe...
0:16:56 > 0:16:57Shhh! I'm trying to think.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00No, but Sally's right, it's like Mrs Poshington...
0:17:00 > 0:17:02Will you two just please just leave me alone.
0:17:02 > 0:17:07All I can hear is "Blah, blah, blah, Mrs Poshington, blah, blah, blah".
0:17:07 > 0:17:09PHONE RINGS
0:17:09 > 0:17:10I'm good at plans, me.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13They call me the plan man, and then they'll see, yeah, they'll see.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16They'll see who's the best, which is me.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19Yes, and then Hotel Trubble will win. Ha!
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Yes.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Yes, ok.
0:17:23 > 0:17:27Jamie, that was Hotel Dribble.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29They've offered me and Lenny jobs.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32Shhh! I'm trying to think!
0:17:32 > 0:17:37- Is that all you're going to say? - Jamie, say something please.- What?!
0:17:37 > 0:17:39Why are you bothering me, Lenny?
0:17:39 > 0:17:43Haven't you got some important juggling to be doing?
0:17:43 > 0:17:46Do you know what?! That's it, we're out of here!
0:17:49 > 0:17:52Hello, Jamie, did you hear what I said?
0:17:52 > 0:17:55Me and Lenny are going to take jobs at Hotel Dribble.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Yes, well you know what?
0:17:57 > 0:18:00I don't care. You two will just get in the way anyway.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03Anyway, I've got a plan to plan.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05CAT MEOWS
0:18:05 > 0:18:09Come on, Lenny, let's leave Jamie to stew in his own juices.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Yeah, stay here and cook in your own
0:18:11 > 0:18:16gravy, but don't let it go cold because then it gets lumpy and...
0:18:16 > 0:18:18it's not very nice when it's lumpy.
0:18:18 > 0:18:19Come on, Lenny.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22Yeah, well you know what? See if I care, because I don't.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25Because I don't care, couldn't care less.
0:18:25 > 0:18:29You see this face? This is my I don't care face and it doesn't care.
0:18:29 > 0:18:35Oh. Come on, General Poshington, help me think, yes?
0:18:35 > 0:18:38You should know a thing or two about plans, you being
0:18:38 > 0:18:41an army man and all, you know.
0:18:45 > 0:18:50If they want a war, they can have a war.
0:18:50 > 0:18:56HE LAUGHS EVILLY
0:19:02 > 0:19:05The most important thing is the element of surprise.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08I'm going to practise my camouflage techniques.
0:19:08 > 0:19:12# Woah, oh, oh, oh, camouflage
0:19:12 > 0:19:16# Things are never quite the way they seem. #
0:19:18 > 0:19:22Shhh. Keep it down, I'm trying to be a bush.
0:19:23 > 0:19:27# I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
0:19:27 > 0:19:31# I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
0:19:31 > 0:19:35# I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
0:19:35 > 0:19:39# I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
0:19:39 > 0:19:43# I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
0:19:43 > 0:19:45# I got soul
0:19:45 > 0:19:47# But I'm not a soldier
0:19:47 > 0:19:49# I got soul
0:19:49 > 0:19:53# But I'm not a soldier. # MUSIC SCRATCHES
0:20:06 > 0:20:12# War! Oh, yeah. What is it good for?
0:20:12 > 0:20:15# Absolutely nothing, uh-huh. War!
0:20:15 > 0:20:20# Oh, yeah. What is it good for?
0:20:20 > 0:20:22# Absolutely nothing
0:20:22 > 0:20:23# Say it again, y'all
0:20:23 > 0:20:29# War! Oh, yeah. What is it good for?
0:20:29 > 0:20:32# Absolutely nothing, listen to me. # MUSIC SCRATCHES
0:20:35 > 0:20:38Go away. Go away.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43That's a very interesting hairdo.
0:20:43 > 0:20:48Oh, oh, Antonio of Hair Today?
0:20:48 > 0:20:50And gone tomorrow.
0:20:50 > 0:20:57No. It's Francois of Hairway to Heaven, actually.
0:20:57 > 0:21:01Oh. Hmm.
0:21:01 > 0:21:06It's weird but there's something so familiar about this place.
0:21:06 > 0:21:10I know. I could easily just strip off to my pants and run around the
0:21:10 > 0:21:12corridors like I always used to.
0:21:12 > 0:21:16SCREAMING Never do that at Hotel Trubble.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18Never at all did I do that.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40MUSIC: Mission Impossible Theme
0:21:48 > 0:21:51- HOOTER SOUNDS - Oh, rubbish.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09Jamie, is that you?
0:22:11 > 0:22:14So, have you come to see what success looks like?
0:22:14 > 0:22:18Because this is it. This is success.
0:22:18 > 0:22:22- Look at it with your eyes.- The eyes.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24OK, you win.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26I can't fight any more.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29I am a lo-o-o-o-ser.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32- See you later.- Bye. - Bye bye now.- Bye-zee-bye.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34- Bye-zee-bye, bye bye, bye.- Bye now.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36But I just have one thing to say.
0:22:36 > 0:22:41I may have no guests, I may have no staff,
0:22:41 > 0:22:45I may have a hotel that's about to close,
0:22:45 > 0:22:48but I have my dignity, my integrity
0:22:48 > 0:22:50and a bit of an itch on my bottom.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52Hang on.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54Ahhh.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56That's better. That was...
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Where was I? Oh, yes, yes.
0:22:58 > 0:23:03Dignity, integrity, bottom and...
0:23:04 > 0:23:09Good memories. Memories of a hotel that was a joy to work at,
0:23:09 > 0:23:15memories of fun and friends and corridors filled with laughter.
0:23:15 > 0:23:19- And bad 1970s carpets.- Yes, and wallpaper that made your eyes hurt
0:23:19 > 0:23:24- if you stared at it for too long. - Yeah, yeah, and lots of memories of
0:23:24 > 0:23:27letting my staff get away with murder and do next to nothing,
0:23:27 > 0:23:31because I love my staff, my beautiful, beautiful staff,
0:23:31 > 0:23:36and I would never force them to do any work that they didn't want to.
0:23:38 > 0:23:39And I would never stop them from
0:23:39 > 0:23:42ordering things from stuffthatcelebswear.com
0:23:42 > 0:23:44when they should be answering the phone,
0:23:44 > 0:23:47or juggling during shifts.
0:23:47 > 0:23:51Really, really good juggling, by the way, so you can have my guests
0:23:51 > 0:23:54and you can have my staff if they really, really want to work
0:23:54 > 0:23:58at a place that doesn't let them get away with doing next to nothing,
0:23:58 > 0:24:02but you can't have my memories and you can't have my integrity,
0:24:02 > 0:24:04my dignity
0:24:04 > 0:24:06or my itchy bottom.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08And those things are so much
0:24:08 > 0:24:12more important in life than running a successful hotel.
0:24:12 > 0:24:17Ha! You can't win them back with some dumb speech, you loser.
0:24:17 > 0:24:21He can win me back, actually, and Lenny.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23He can do what now?
0:24:23 > 0:24:26Yes, well you may have won this bunch of lowlifes back,
0:24:26 > 0:24:29but you've still got no guests and how can you
0:24:29 > 0:24:32run a hotel without any guests, eh? Answer me that.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Well, he'll have at least one guest.
0:24:34 > 0:24:40Do you really think I'd stop here, with that dreadful woman?
0:24:40 > 0:24:44Oh, and by the way I was joking about your hair. I think it's awful.
0:24:44 > 0:24:51Don't you realise that your fox is stuffed? Totally bonkers.
0:24:51 > 0:24:55Don't listen to her, For Real.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58His name's For Real?
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Well, of course his name's For Real.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Why wouldn't it be real?
0:25:06 > 0:25:10It's good to have you back and all, guys, but they were right.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12I don't know how we're going to cope with just one guest.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15- How are we going to manage? - PHONE RINGS
0:25:15 > 0:25:18Hello, Hotel Trubble.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20Six double rooms for two weeks?!
0:25:20 > 0:25:24- Yes, I'll just check if it's available.- What's going on?
0:25:24 > 0:25:30Well, Jamie, at Mr Trubble's request, I have been on a covert mission
0:25:30 > 0:25:35working undercover to discredit a certain Hotel Dribble
0:25:35 > 0:25:37from the inside.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39I rather enjoyed it, actually.
0:25:39 > 0:25:43It reminded me of my days working for the French Resistance.
0:25:43 > 0:25:48- PHONE RINGS - Hello, Hotel Trubble.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50The executive suite?
0:25:50 > 0:25:51For an entire month?!
0:25:51 > 0:25:56For the Society of Extremely Wealthy People Who Like To Tip A Lot?
0:25:58 > 0:26:00Well, I'll just see if it's available.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02So all these bookings were down to you
0:26:02 > 0:26:05and you were planning to come back to Hotel Trubble the whole time?
0:26:05 > 0:26:09You really didn't think I'd leave General Poshington, did you?
0:26:09 > 0:26:11Well, I did think it was a bit strange.
0:26:11 > 0:26:15Ah, Mummy would never leave you, General Poshy-washy, would she?
0:26:15 > 0:26:19No, she wouldn't. Now Lenny, could you ask chef
0:26:19 > 0:26:24if he could make Sirius a yummy sardine and anchovy milkshake?
0:26:24 > 0:26:25Sirius?
0:26:25 > 0:26:28Well, of course I'm serious.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31It's his favourite. CAT MEOWS
0:26:31 > 0:26:34See? That's what we were trying to tell you
0:26:34 > 0:26:36before you went all loony on the brain.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39OK, well perhaps we could forget about that little chapter
0:26:39 > 0:26:43of our lives and get on with some work? Yes? Hi.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45OK. Only if you say
0:26:45 > 0:26:47"Sally and Lenny are totally awesome
0:26:47 > 0:26:51"and Hotel Trubble would be nothing without them.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53"I, on the other hand, am a flaming idiot".
0:26:53 > 0:26:56I'm not saying that in front of all these people.
0:26:56 > 0:27:00OK, hello, welcome to Hotel Trubble, how can I help you?
0:27:00 > 0:27:03- PHONE RINGS - Oh, one s...
0:27:05 > 0:27:09- Sally, can you help me please? - Say it.- OK, OK.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12Sally and Lenny are totally awesome and Hotel Trubble would be nothing
0:27:12 > 0:27:15without them and I on the other hand am a...
0:27:15 > 0:27:17- Flaming idiot.- Oh, I can't hear you.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20OK, I am a flaming idiot!
0:27:20 > 0:27:22THEY LAUGH
0:27:22 > 0:27:25Hello, Hotel Trubble.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29# Hotel Trubble, forever
0:27:29 > 0:27:32# It's the pits and we know it
0:27:32 > 0:27:34# We're stuck but we love it
0:27:34 > 0:27:36# Hotel Trubble, forever
0:27:36 > 0:27:39# We're a team staying calm
0:27:39 > 0:27:42# Arm in arm, so the hotel survives
0:27:42 > 0:27:46# Trubble, Trubble Keep the hotel alive. #