Trubble 1900

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0:00:01 > 0:00:03Welcome to Hotel Trubble.

0:00:03 > 0:00:05Meet Sally, our receptionist.

0:00:05 > 0:00:08People! Trying to have a conversation here!

0:00:08 > 0:00:12And this is Lenny. He's a man of many talents.

0:00:12 > 0:00:17This is Dolly, she is Mr Trubble's, ahem, fiancee.

0:00:17 > 0:00:20And this is Mrs Poshington, the new cleaner.

0:00:20 > 0:00:24Which just leaves me, Jamie. I'm the bellboy.

0:00:24 > 0:00:27# Hotel Trubble forever

0:00:27 > 0:00:32# It's the pits and we know it, stuck but we love it

0:00:32 > 0:00:34# Hotel Trubble forever

0:00:34 > 0:00:40# We're a team staying calm on and on so the hotel survives

0:00:40 > 0:00:41# Trubble, Trubble...

0:00:41 > 0:00:44# Keep the hotel alive! #

0:00:54 > 0:00:59If you told me this is how I was going to end up, I would eat my hat.

0:00:59 > 0:01:01Which would be stupid

0:01:01 > 0:01:05because hats are the only accessory I can actually deal with these days.

0:01:06 > 0:01:09Hotel Trubble.

0:01:09 > 0:01:12Joint third in the Cleanest Spoons category

0:01:12 > 0:01:16of the Intergalactic Hotel Awards, 4011.

0:01:16 > 0:01:19Mind you, it is quite a stylish award, isn't it, Lenny?

0:01:19 > 0:01:21Processing visual.

0:01:24 > 0:01:27Visual complete. Affirmative.

0:01:27 > 0:01:29Yes, the award is very stylish.

0:01:29 > 0:01:30Yeah.

0:01:32 > 0:01:34Oh, poor Jamie.

0:01:34 > 0:01:382657 years he's been waiting to be manager.

0:01:38 > 0:01:43- He's still just the bellboy! - What was that?- Nothing.

0:01:43 > 0:01:45Anyway, I've got an announcement to make.

0:01:49 > 0:01:51What is that machine?

0:01:51 > 0:01:53No idea.

0:01:53 > 0:01:57Anyway, having successfully steered the hotel to finish joint third

0:01:57 > 0:01:59in the Cleanest Spoons category

0:01:59 > 0:02:03at the Intergalactic Hotel Awards, 4011,

0:02:03 > 0:02:07I feel I have reasonable expectation of being promoted.

0:02:07 > 0:02:09And why do I have this feeling?

0:02:09 > 0:02:13Because Mr Trubble is finally going to arrive! Oh, yeah!

0:02:13 > 0:02:15Oh, crumpets.

0:02:15 > 0:02:18I don't want him to see me like this. He'll dump me.

0:02:18 > 0:02:23I knew that 'trade your old body in for a new one' scheme was a rip-off.

0:02:23 > 0:02:26Look at me, I'm just...

0:02:26 > 0:02:31Is it night-time already? Oh, fair enough.

0:02:31 > 0:02:32Night everybody.

0:02:32 > 0:02:35Works every time. Anyway, where is he?

0:02:35 > 0:02:39He was meant to be here at 80 past 40.

0:02:39 > 0:02:41So he's already five minutes late.

0:02:41 > 0:02:44CRASH AND RUMBLE

0:02:44 > 0:02:47Quick, everybody, keep calm, everybody.

0:02:47 > 0:02:50That's just Mr Trubble teleporting in.

0:02:50 > 0:02:54Do I look managerial enough? Do I?

0:03:01 > 0:03:02Hello! Sorry I'm late.

0:03:02 > 0:03:06You know what the M11,000,000 can be like between Jupiter and Mars!

0:03:07 > 0:03:10Anyway, kneel before me, space losers!

0:03:11 > 0:03:14- Who are you? - Assumption - it is Mr Trubble.

0:03:15 > 0:03:19No, it isn't. Not unless he's had plastic surgery.

0:03:19 > 0:03:21And put on a lot of weight.

0:03:21 > 0:03:26And grown one of his legs back. And changed his voice.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29And come back alive again.

0:03:29 > 0:03:31You are quite right, Jamie!

0:03:31 > 0:03:35Mr Trubble retired several years after his death.

0:03:35 > 0:03:40His consciousness now resides in a small toaster on Mars.

0:03:40 > 0:03:44I am the new head of Trubble Incorporated.

0:03:44 > 0:03:47- Sorry, what? - I know what you're thinking.

0:03:47 > 0:03:50I'm too young and glamorous to be in charge of

0:03:50 > 0:03:54an intergalactic hospitality company!

0:03:54 > 0:03:59- Not really.- Thank you! I moisturise!

0:03:59 > 0:04:03Anyway, let the presentation begin!

0:04:04 > 0:04:06Sorry, what presentation?

0:04:06 > 0:04:10Oh, the Hotel Trubble presentation.

0:04:10 > 0:04:12Observe!

0:04:14 > 0:04:19- To see how things have changed around here.- 'Opening file.'

0:04:19 > 0:04:20Ow!

0:04:20 > 0:04:22# This is how we do it... #

0:04:22 > 0:04:26This place used to be a lot of fun.

0:04:31 > 0:04:32THEY SCREAM

0:04:41 > 0:04:42I'm so sorry!

0:04:46 > 0:04:51I am the world-famous magician David Copperbottom!

0:04:51 > 0:04:54And this is my glamorous assistant Sally...

0:04:56 > 0:05:02My glamorous and unpredictably violent assistant Claudia Chiffon!

0:05:02 > 0:05:05Meet the future of hotel staffing.

0:05:14 > 0:05:18Dolly, what is that?

0:05:18 > 0:05:21This is the Bell Boy Bot 3000!

0:05:21 > 0:05:25- So, what do you think? - Amazing.- Fantastic.

0:05:25 > 0:05:26Ridiculous.

0:05:26 > 0:05:30Relax, darling, I haven't heard anyone complaining.

0:05:30 > 0:05:32Are you sure?

0:05:32 > 0:05:36Don't you think we're being a bit lax with our customer care at the moment?

0:05:36 > 0:05:39No, you're looking at it wrong.

0:05:41 > 0:05:44Bon appetit.

0:05:44 > 0:05:47OK, we've got denim and sushi. There you go, you can have that one.

0:05:47 > 0:05:51This one, look at this - pepper, plaster and parsnip. Hey!

0:05:51 > 0:05:54Carrot and hand cream. Whoa!

0:05:54 > 0:05:56Look that that one!

0:05:56 > 0:06:00And, oh, just vanilla left.

0:06:00 > 0:06:03- Vanilla?- No.

0:06:03 > 0:06:07- Er, vanilla and pencil shavings. - Now you're talking!

0:06:07 > 0:06:0870% of our customers say

0:06:08 > 0:06:10they've never stayed anywhere like this before.

0:06:10 > 0:06:1380% say they would tell their friends,

0:06:13 > 0:06:16and the other 20% say they'd tell the police.

0:06:16 > 0:06:18So, in conclusion,

0:06:18 > 0:06:22people come to Hotel Trubble because all the other hotels are...

0:06:23 > 0:06:29- Lenny, step away from the screen! - Processing visual.

0:06:29 > 0:06:33- Amazing.- That's your predecessor.

0:06:33 > 0:06:37When you were built, your prototype was based on a real person.

0:06:37 > 0:06:42- The Lenny you just saw. - Expressing confusion.

0:06:42 > 0:06:44- What?- We upgraded you.

0:06:44 > 0:06:46I've heard tales of the old Lenny

0:06:46 > 0:06:49that would make your circuitry run cold.

0:06:50 > 0:06:54- Fortunately, all those bugs have now been ironed out.- Bugs?!

0:06:54 > 0:06:56The original Lenny was happy!

0:06:56 > 0:07:01- What is happy? Does not compute. - Maybe this will help.

0:07:01 > 0:07:04It's from your personal file, Len Bot.

0:07:04 > 0:07:06Lenny!

0:07:20 > 0:07:22Why do you always have to embarrass me?

0:07:22 > 0:07:25Never fear, everyone - Bee Man is here!

0:07:25 > 0:07:27Hello, Lenny.

0:07:27 > 0:07:30Who is this Lenny character you speak of?

0:07:30 > 0:07:36I am Bee Man, international superhero, with the power of a bee!

0:07:36 > 0:07:41The key-ring earring - stylish and youthful.

0:07:43 > 0:07:45The past, the future,

0:07:45 > 0:07:50all the secret wonders of the galaxy are mine to discover!

0:07:50 > 0:07:53Ha ha ha!

0:07:53 > 0:07:55Right after I've emptied the bins in room 311.

0:07:55 > 0:07:59I can fit all 12 of my fingers inside my mouth.

0:07:59 > 0:08:01Hang on, 12?

0:08:14 > 0:08:17Why? Why?

0:08:17 > 0:08:21You look like some sort of massive bell boy.

0:08:21 > 0:08:23I am a bell boy.

0:08:23 > 0:08:26Jamie, I've got so much starch in this collar,

0:08:26 > 0:08:28I literally can't breathe.

0:08:28 > 0:08:31MAKES CHOKING NOISES

0:08:31 > 0:08:33THEY SCREAM

0:08:36 > 0:08:38Jamie, oh, you're back.

0:08:38 > 0:08:42You're back. And your front, as well.

0:08:42 > 0:08:43Now, are there any questions?

0:08:43 > 0:08:46- Are those your real teeth?- What?

0:08:46 > 0:08:47Nothing.

0:08:47 > 0:08:51All right, Lenny, so you're now playing a number of characters.

0:08:51 > 0:08:53- Sally. FEMALE VOICE:- Hello, my lovely.

0:08:53 > 0:08:56Mr Trubble. JAMIE SPEAKS GIBBERISH

0:08:56 > 0:08:59- Mrs Poshington. FEMALE VOICE:- Hello, my lovely.

0:08:59 > 0:09:02- And, of course, Lenny. - I still don't get him.

0:09:07 > 0:09:10I wasn't expecting that.

0:09:10 > 0:09:13Biting old ladies is overrated. Please don't make me do it again.

0:09:13 > 0:09:15- Ahh... - THUD

0:09:17 > 0:09:19Alert, alert, idiot detecting.

0:09:19 > 0:09:23Indeed. But don't you think he looks like he enjoys being an idiot?

0:09:23 > 0:09:28- The Lenny 3,000 was built to be efficient, he can't just...- What?

0:09:28 > 0:09:31He can't just what?

0:09:35 > 0:09:38Processing visual. Delicious.

0:09:42 > 0:09:45Expressing delight.

0:09:45 > 0:09:47Mmm, it's lovely.

0:09:47 > 0:09:49Hang-a-lang a minute here.

0:09:49 > 0:09:52You can't just swan in here with your big beard

0:09:52 > 0:09:55and your fancy ideas and change everything.

0:09:55 > 0:09:57We're already doing everything right.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00We're efficient, we're clean.

0:10:00 > 0:10:01So where is your cleaner?

0:10:01 > 0:10:04Please. We don't have a cleaner any more.

0:10:04 > 0:10:07We have an iPoshinngton.

0:10:07 > 0:10:10Hello, dear. I'm the iPoshington.

0:10:10 > 0:10:16I have two functions, cleaning and destroying.

0:10:16 > 0:10:20- Have you Hoovered room 102, iPoshington?- Yes, dear.

0:10:20 > 0:10:23I cleaned it, then I destroyed it.

0:10:23 > 0:10:27I wonder if you remember the good old days, Mrs Poshington?

0:10:27 > 0:10:29Oh, no, no, no. I'd rather you didn't.

0:10:29 > 0:10:31There's no need.

0:10:32 > 0:10:34Oh, dear.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36Coo-ee, cleaner!

0:10:38 > 0:10:39Mary Queen of Yucksville!

0:10:39 > 0:10:43- What sort of horse-eyed harridan are you?- Oh, nasty.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56Ta-daa!

0:11:01 > 0:11:02Take that!

0:11:04 > 0:11:05And that.

0:11:07 > 0:11:10And that.

0:11:10 > 0:11:12Oh! Shh.

0:11:12 > 0:11:15I will hush your mouth with a...

0:11:16 > 0:11:17..with a kiss.

0:11:19 > 0:11:21Mrs P!

0:11:21 > 0:11:25Did somebody scream in a really irritating voice?

0:11:25 > 0:11:27Get filing, Jamie.

0:11:37 > 0:11:41You can't have a sheep in the hotel, Jamie.

0:11:41 > 0:11:44You'll make Dolly BAA-king mad.

0:11:52 > 0:11:54Ta-daa!

0:11:54 > 0:11:55SMASH!

0:11:55 > 0:11:59Oo-o-o-o-h!

0:11:59 > 0:12:01I've had eight husbands.

0:12:04 > 0:12:05I've had an idea.

0:12:05 > 0:12:09- Not you, Antiques Roadshow.- How rude!

0:12:09 > 0:12:12Nothing surprises me.

0:12:12 > 0:12:16Hmmm. I quite like this lady after all.

0:12:16 > 0:12:18She has vim.

0:12:18 > 0:12:22Hmm. Doesn't look like you did that much cleaning.

0:12:22 > 0:12:25How dare you. I was extremely hardworking.

0:12:25 > 0:12:27Then answer me this.

0:12:27 > 0:12:31- Dustpan and...- Fingers.

0:12:31 > 0:12:35- Spit and...- Barnacles.

0:12:35 > 0:12:39- Vacuum...- Nuggets.

0:12:39 > 0:12:43- I rest my case. - OK, what is it you want from me?

0:12:43 > 0:12:46I want you to go back to being the work-shy,

0:12:46 > 0:12:48slovenly old trout you were before.

0:12:48 > 0:12:53- But why on earth?- Because she was much more fun that way.

0:12:53 > 0:12:56Also, there's no such thing as an iPoshington.

0:12:56 > 0:12:59This hotel is encrusted with filth.

0:12:59 > 0:13:03Nonsense. Look at...

0:13:04 > 0:13:05Oh.

0:13:05 > 0:13:10That explains why we came last in the cleanest forks category.

0:13:10 > 0:13:13Oi, oi, oi, coo-ee.

0:13:13 > 0:13:16That's better. I love a trip down memory lane, me.

0:13:16 > 0:13:20It's one of the few lanes you can walk down without legs.

0:13:20 > 0:13:22Here, let's take a look at my file then.

0:13:22 > 0:13:27I am Dolly, girlfriend of Mr Trubble.

0:13:27 > 0:13:31I am the maker of the breakfast and the former Miss Midlands 1989.

0:13:31 > 0:13:35# She's a monster

0:13:35 > 0:13:38# Beautiful monster

0:13:38 > 0:13:43# Beautiful monster

0:13:43 > 0:13:44# But I don't mind. #

0:13:48 > 0:13:50Oh! I can't see. I can't see.

0:13:50 > 0:13:52Anyone got any ideas?

0:13:52 > 0:13:55I'm assuming any ideas we come up with will be ignored?

0:13:55 > 0:13:57- That's correct.- Then no.

0:13:57 > 0:14:02So tell me, why exactly do you talk in that horrible voice?

0:14:04 > 0:14:06# Fun, baby, fun fun, fun times... #

0:14:06 > 0:14:09I don't believe it. Dolly!

0:14:09 > 0:14:11I used to have your picture on my wall.

0:14:11 > 0:14:14When will you release a new single?

0:14:14 > 0:14:18Oh, I'm not in the music business any more.

0:14:18 > 0:14:20Let's not be so hasty.

0:14:20 > 0:14:26# I've got Trubble on my mind

0:14:26 > 0:14:32# Mr Trubble on my mind

0:14:32 > 0:14:38# I'm just a woman of a certain age

0:14:38 > 0:14:42# He's just a man... #

0:14:42 > 0:14:43Oh, what is his age?

0:14:43 > 0:14:46# Well, I guess he's the wrong side of 68. #

0:14:50 > 0:14:51- How was that?- Terrible.

0:14:51 > 0:14:55- Shocking.- I knew it.

0:14:55 > 0:14:58Sorry, I was just listening to the football results.

0:14:58 > 0:15:00# She's a monster

0:15:00 > 0:15:01# She's a monster

0:15:01 > 0:15:04# Beautiful monster

0:15:04 > 0:15:05# Beautiful monster

0:15:05 > 0:15:07# Beautiful monster

0:15:09 > 0:15:10# But I don't mind. #

0:15:10 > 0:15:12You three, my office.

0:15:12 > 0:15:17Aren't you forgetting the magic word?

0:15:14 > 0:15:17Oh, yeah. Now!

0:15:21 > 0:15:24See, told you I was stylish.

0:15:24 > 0:15:27Those were the days.

0:15:27 > 0:15:29I looked like a young Phyllis McKenzie.

0:15:29 > 0:15:31Who's Phyllis McKenzie?

0:15:31 > 0:15:35Someone who looks like an older version of me.

0:15:35 > 0:15:37I'd forgotten how much fun we had.

0:15:37 > 0:15:40Indeed, perhaps if you had more fun,

0:15:40 > 0:15:45then you might get the one thing you're really missing.

0:15:45 > 0:15:46Guests!

0:15:48 > 0:15:50Oh! Guests.

0:15:55 > 0:15:57Good morning, darlings.

0:15:57 > 0:16:02- Ooo-aaar, ooo-aar, morning. - Agh! Ah, sheep.

0:16:03 > 0:16:07SHE SHOUTS

0:16:11 > 0:16:13Tired now, need cake.

0:16:13 > 0:16:17My name is Mr Baker. Mr Baker!

0:16:17 > 0:16:20And I would never let you win the hotel competition,

0:16:20 > 0:16:23not if you were the last hotel on earth!

0:16:23 > 0:16:28Mate, if you want to stay in this hotel, you have to book a room.

0:16:28 > 0:16:32So, yes or no! Do you want a room?!

0:16:32 > 0:16:36- Yes, please. - That's better.

0:16:36 > 0:16:37I wanted to say thank you.

0:16:37 > 0:16:40I got the best album cover of my career.

0:16:40 > 0:16:43This is the wildest, crummiest hotel I've ever stayed in.

0:16:51 > 0:16:53- Who are you?- I'm Derek.

0:16:53 > 0:16:55Uh-oh!

0:16:55 > 0:16:57HORN

0:16:57 > 0:16:59Nice.

0:17:10 > 0:17:13HE SLURPS LOUDLY

0:17:15 > 0:17:17Aaaargh!

0:17:17 > 0:17:21HE BURPS

0:17:26 > 0:17:28- TOILET FLUSHES - It is I, the evil destructor.

0:17:28 > 0:17:31Actually, I wouldn't go in there for a bit.

0:17:33 > 0:17:37When I'm asleep, I do not like to be disturbed. Understand?

0:17:37 > 0:17:40When I'm disturbed it makes me very cross.

0:17:40 > 0:17:43And you do not want to see me when I am cross.

0:17:43 > 0:17:46Here's a picture of me when I'm cross.

0:17:46 > 0:17:51- Argh!- That's the whole point of this presentation. Guests!

0:17:51 > 0:17:54Thanks for that presentation, it was very informative.

0:17:54 > 0:17:57- We haven't seen your file yet, Jamie.- No time, what a shame.

0:17:57 > 0:18:01- Embarrassed about what they might reveal?- Of course no!

0:18:01 > 0:18:03I was loads of fun too, guys.

0:18:03 > 0:18:06You'll see.

0:18:06 > 0:18:10Never fear, it is I, Jamie.

0:18:10 > 0:18:12The handsome, soon-to-be manager bell boy.

0:18:12 > 0:18:14AUDIENCE BOO

0:18:14 > 0:18:17This is nonsense, he's making a fool of himself.

0:18:17 > 0:18:20At least he hasn't been hit on the head with a lettuce.

0:18:20 > 0:18:23# It's been a hard day's night

0:18:23 > 0:18:27# And I've been working like a dog

0:18:27 > 0:18:30# It's been a hard day's night

0:18:30 > 0:18:33# I should be sleeping like a log. #

0:18:37 > 0:18:4022 seconds, very slow.

0:18:43 > 0:18:46This couldn't be more painful. Argh!

0:18:48 > 0:18:51Trubbley wants the uniform to be redesigned.

0:18:51 > 0:18:53But I love this uniform.

0:18:53 > 0:18:54I'm never out of it.

0:18:54 > 0:18:56We've noticed.

0:19:00 > 0:19:01It's comfy.

0:19:09 > 0:19:12Wow, have you been wearing that the whole time?

0:19:12 > 0:19:14It's comfortable.

0:19:14 > 0:19:16I'm going to enjoy Entertainment Thursday

0:19:16 > 0:19:19almost as much as I enjoyed Tidy Your Office Tuesday.

0:19:19 > 0:19:22I've got an idea that I'm confident

0:19:22 > 0:19:25will blow your socks off.

0:19:27 > 0:19:30Guys! That's the last time we host the Whacky Inventors Trade Fair.

0:19:30 > 0:19:34The guy in room 506 told me he invented a time machine.

0:19:34 > 0:19:39Just think where you could go with all of time as your playground.

0:19:39 > 0:19:41I'd zip 30 years forward into the future

0:19:41 > 0:19:44where I'd absolutely, definitely be manager of the hotel.

0:19:47 > 0:19:49Why am I still a bell boy?

0:19:50 > 0:19:56There must be some mistake. I should be manager by now. HELP!

0:19:58 > 0:20:03Why aren't I the manager? Ouch!

0:20:03 > 0:20:05I am the bell boy of Hotel Trubble.

0:20:05 > 0:20:08And nothing, not even a stupid, ridiculous robot

0:20:08 > 0:20:11is ever going to stand in my way.

0:20:13 > 0:20:16- He's behind me, isn't he? ALL:- Yeah.

0:20:18 > 0:20:19PHONE RINGS

0:20:19 > 0:20:24One minute. Hello, Hotel Trubble.

0:20:24 > 0:20:26- It's for you.- Who is it?

0:20:26 > 0:20:29- Mr Whack In The Face. - Mr Whack In The Face?

0:20:33 > 0:20:36Yeah... I don't think he was that much fun.

0:20:36 > 0:20:39- He's exactly the same.- No, I wasn't.

0:20:39 > 0:20:43- But we're forgetting the most important member of staff.- Who?

0:20:43 > 0:20:45What do you mean, who?!

0:20:45 > 0:20:49She's sassy, she's fabulous, she's good-looking.

0:20:49 > 0:20:53She's fun to be around, everyone loves her.

0:20:53 > 0:20:57She's a mega-star in the making!

0:20:57 > 0:20:59One day, she's going to be, like, really really famous.

0:20:59 > 0:21:03- Why are you talking differently? - She's a receptionist!

0:21:03 > 0:21:05Oh, yeah...

0:21:05 > 0:21:07There was someone...

0:21:07 > 0:21:10- What was she called? - Let's just run the file!

0:21:10 > 0:21:11You're fired.

0:21:11 > 0:21:14Why? What have I done now?!

0:21:14 > 0:21:17# I'm gonna make my mark A real big hitter

0:21:17 > 0:21:21# Be the most popular person on Twitter

0:21:21 > 0:21:24# A Z-list celebrity... #

0:21:24 > 0:21:28SHE SCREAMS

0:21:28 > 0:21:31# I'm gonna make my mark Things will change

0:21:31 > 0:21:35# I'm going to get my own supermarket clothing range

0:21:35 > 0:21:38# No-one's going to tear my dreams apart

0:21:38 > 0:21:43# I'm going to make my mark

0:21:43 > 0:21:45# Whooo, whooo hoo... #

0:21:45 > 0:21:47Seeing as no-one else wants to audition for the part of Sally,

0:21:48 > 0:21:50- I'm offering you...- Not so fast!

0:21:51 > 0:21:54I want to be the most famous-est person in the world!

0:21:54 > 0:21:57Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

0:21:57 > 0:21:58Listen to what I can do!

0:21:58 > 0:22:00# Ah-ah-ah ah-ah-ah

0:22:00 > 0:22:01# Er, uh, er, uh, er, uh. #

0:22:01 > 0:22:04Oh, look, someone's texted me to tell me how brilliant I am.

0:22:04 > 0:22:08- Florence The Tractor asks me for fashion tips.- And The Machine!

0:22:08 > 0:22:10It's banana time!

0:22:10 > 0:22:12CHEESY MUSIC PLAYS

0:22:15 > 0:22:21- Ideas?- Oh! We could chain him to his bedroom radiator.

0:22:21 > 0:22:25- Ideas that wouldn't get us arrested. - You're moving the goalposts.

0:22:25 > 0:22:29You're just a silly man in a plastic costume.

0:22:29 > 0:22:32No chance of ever getting a girlfriend.

0:22:32 > 0:22:35You're not an alien from the Planet Splug!

0:22:44 > 0:22:46- He is an alien from the Planet Splug. - That's right.

0:22:46 > 0:22:50And I do have a girlfriend, actually. Her name is

0:22:50 > 0:22:53- Villinas Obliterator and we're very very happy.- OK, OK.

0:22:53 > 0:22:58- Only one thing we can do.- Chain Mr Banana Time to his radiator.

0:22:58 > 0:23:01Stop trying to solve all your problems that way.

0:23:01 > 0:23:03# I'm going to

0:23:03 > 0:23:11# Make my ma-a-a-a-a-a-rk! #

0:23:11 > 0:23:13Ah, yeah.

0:23:13 > 0:23:14Sally.

0:23:14 > 0:23:17Yes! Sally!

0:23:17 > 0:23:19I can't believe you forgot about me.

0:23:19 > 0:23:20I mean her!

0:23:22 > 0:23:26Sally? Is...is that you?

0:23:26 > 0:23:27No...

0:23:28 > 0:23:31I am Salgar the Mighty!

0:23:31 > 0:23:36Feed me! Or I will crush you beneath my feet like dust

0:23:36 > 0:23:38- upon the face of infinity! - Yeah, it is her.

0:23:38 > 0:23:39Same old Sally.

0:23:39 > 0:23:40Yeah, all right.

0:23:40 > 0:23:43I admit it, it's me.

0:23:43 > 0:23:45I had a body transplant.

0:23:45 > 0:23:46Quite fancied a beard.

0:23:46 > 0:23:49You're not head of Hotel Trubble Incorporated at all, are you?

0:23:49 > 0:23:50Yeah, I am.

0:23:50 > 0:23:52So where are the headquarters?

0:23:52 > 0:23:55Oh, er...they're just left of Saturn...

0:23:55 > 0:23:56It's a business park...

0:23:56 > 0:23:58just on the left.

0:23:58 > 0:24:01Yeah, I've been on an away-day to the headquarters, yeah?

0:24:01 > 0:24:02They're in Swindon.

0:24:02 > 0:24:05Yeah, right! I admit it.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07I made it all up.

0:24:07 > 0:24:10I've actually been working as a waitress in a cocktail bar.

0:24:10 > 0:24:12Why the elaborate ruse?

0:24:12 > 0:24:13Cos I wanted my old job back!

0:24:13 > 0:24:17But first, you lot had to realise what was wrong with this place.

0:24:17 > 0:24:22I wanted things to go back to the way they were. We used to have

0:24:22 > 0:24:23fun together, didn't we?

0:24:25 > 0:24:28# Good morning

0:24:28 > 0:24:33# I hope you're enjoying your stay... #

0:24:33 > 0:24:36# Don't stop me now I'm having such a good time

0:24:36 > 0:24:39# I'm having a ball

0:24:39 > 0:24:41# Don't stop me now

0:24:41 > 0:24:43# If you wanna have a good time

0:24:43 > 0:24:45# Just give me a call

0:24:45 > 0:24:46# Don't stop me now

0:24:46 > 0:24:51# Cos I'm having a good time Having a good time

0:24:51 > 0:24:54# I don't wanna stop at all

0:24:56 > 0:24:59# Satanic Mechanic You're not out of tune

0:24:59 > 0:25:03# She lives on the toilet and smells like a poo... #

0:25:03 > 0:25:07Hotel Trubble has been voted The Least Stylish Hotel In Britain

0:25:07 > 0:25:11- 10 years running! - At least we won something.

0:25:13 > 0:25:17- I don't know how, but you did it! Everyone's happy.- Aah!

0:25:17 > 0:25:21Oh, oh, oh! # Shamone!

0:25:21 > 0:25:23# Shamone!

0:25:23 > 0:25:24# Poka-tarry! #

0:25:24 > 0:25:26She's Amy.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28That is despicable...

0:25:28 > 0:25:33underhanded... and totally brilliant!

0:25:35 > 0:25:37# We've got a treat You can't ignore

0:25:38 > 0:25:43# We learnt how to do it When we were bored

0:25:43 > 0:25:48# We shove all our fingers Inside our mouths

0:25:48 > 0:25:53# Munching on our hands Is what it's all about

0:25:53 > 0:25:58# Tell me how this world Can be a stressful place

0:25:58 > 0:26:01# When you've got all your fingers

0:26:01 > 0:26:02# Shoved in your face. #

0:26:04 > 0:26:06Oh!

0:26:07 > 0:26:09I think I've found one of Mr Potty's excitement bombs.

0:26:09 > 0:26:12Don't breathe in, anyone!

0:26:18 > 0:26:19# Jamie

0:26:19 > 0:26:21Oh, Sally...

0:26:21 > 0:26:22# I...

0:26:22 > 0:26:25PHONE RINGS

0:26:25 > 0:26:27Er...

0:26:27 > 0:26:29I just...

0:26:30 > 0:26:32Hello. Hotel Trubble.

0:26:32 > 0:26:34Closing file.

0:26:37 > 0:26:39Oh, well, I hope you enjoyed your stay...

0:26:39 > 0:26:43Happy hovering.

0:26:43 > 0:26:44Oh, hi.

0:26:44 > 0:26:47Oh, your new body's finally arrived.

0:26:47 > 0:26:48- Love it!- Thanks!

0:26:48 > 0:26:51Medical science is a wonder, isn't it?

0:26:51 > 0:26:53I hope Mr Toaster likes it...

0:26:53 > 0:26:56Oh! Trubble! I mean Mr Trubble.

0:26:58 > 0:27:02- Hiya, Sally. I just wanted to say... - Did I say you could talk to me?

0:27:02 > 0:27:06- Er, no.- Shut it. I've got three million copies of Gossip magazine

0:27:06 > 0:27:10- to get through. - Just like the good old days.

0:27:10 > 0:27:13Morning, Jamie! You're looking very perky today.

0:27:13 > 0:27:17That's because I've decided I actually like being a bellboy.

0:27:17 > 0:27:19ALARM

0:27:19 > 0:27:22All we need to do is work out what that machine is.

0:27:22 > 0:27:24This one?

0:27:25 > 0:27:27Hello, Hotel Trubble.

0:27:28 > 0:27:29Oh!

0:27:29 > 0:27:31# Hotel Trubble for ever

0:27:33 > 0:27:35# It's the pits And we know we're stuck

0:27:35 > 0:27:37# But we love it

0:27:37 > 0:27:39# Hotel Trubble for ever... #

0:27:39 > 0:27:42Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:27:42 > 0:27:45E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk