When Hally Met Sally

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0:00:02 > 0:00:05'Welcome to Hotel Trubble. Meet Sally, our receptionist.'

0:00:05 > 0:00:08People! Trying to have a conversation here.

0:00:08 > 0:00:10'And this is Lenny.

0:00:10 > 0:00:12'He's a man of many talents.

0:00:12 > 0:00:17'This is Dolly, she's Mr Trubble's...ahem...fiance.

0:00:17 > 0:00:20'And this is Mrs Poshington, the new cleaner.'

0:00:20 > 0:00:22Which just leaves me, Jamie.

0:00:22 > 0:00:24I'm the bellboy.

0:00:24 > 0:00:27# Hotel Trubble forever

0:00:27 > 0:00:32# It's the pits and we know we're stuck but we love it

0:00:32 > 0:00:34# Hotel Trubble forever

0:00:34 > 0:00:37# We're a team staying calm arm in arm

0:00:37 > 0:00:40# So the hotel survives Trubble, Trubble!

0:00:41 > 0:00:44# Keep the hotel alive. #

0:00:46 > 0:00:48Er, Mrs Poshington,

0:00:48 > 0:00:50why are you throwing away our towels?

0:00:50 > 0:00:52Too much washing.

0:00:52 > 0:00:56The guests could use the hairdryers to dry themselves with instead.

0:00:56 > 0:01:00Yes, but water and electricity don't really mix, do they?

0:01:00 > 0:01:01Nonsense.

0:01:01 > 0:01:05CRACKLING, SCREAMING FROM ABOVE

0:01:05 > 0:01:07Oh, is that the time?

0:01:10 > 0:01:12- What's all this?- For the vips.

0:01:12 > 0:01:17Not the vips, Lenny, VIPs. Very Important Persons.

0:01:17 > 0:01:22Every hotel should have a luxury VIP service, Jamie, don't you know?

0:01:22 > 0:01:25What have ropes and rugs got to do with luxury?

0:01:25 > 0:01:28That's what VIPs expect.

0:01:28 > 0:01:31Cheryl Cole won't want to stay in just any hotel, will she?

0:01:31 > 0:01:33No. She wants to stay in a hotel

0:01:33 > 0:01:35where there's a fancy red carpet to walk on.

0:01:35 > 0:01:38Why is Lenny wearing rollerblades?

0:01:38 > 0:01:41Oh, so we can provide the guests our express service.

0:01:41 > 0:01:44- That was my idea. - Yeah. One dong on the gong

0:01:44 > 0:01:47and Lenny will be there in a heartbeat.

0:01:47 > 0:01:51- Yeah...ooof! - That's the plan at least.

0:01:51 > 0:01:53One dong on what gong?

0:01:53 > 0:01:55This one.

0:01:55 > 0:01:56VERY LOUD BONG

0:02:00 > 0:02:02Now, everybody ready?

0:02:02 > 0:02:07- Ready for what?- I've arranged for a journalist from Swish magazine

0:02:07 > 0:02:09to come and review the hotel.

0:02:09 > 0:02:13Hang on a minute. Is that why you're making all these changes?

0:02:13 > 0:02:15If you were any sharper, you'd cut yourself.

0:02:15 > 0:02:19Of course that's why I'm making all these changes.

0:02:19 > 0:02:23Now, you lot had better smarten up and make this hotel look swish,

0:02:23 > 0:02:26- they're going to be here very soon.- How soon?

0:02:26 > 0:02:29- Oh, two or three...- Days?

0:02:29 > 0:02:31- Hours.- No way!

0:02:31 > 0:02:34You can't just spring that on us, Dolly. We need time to prepare.

0:02:34 > 0:02:39Ooh! Did I mention that one favourable review in Swish magazine

0:02:39 > 0:02:42is equal to a 100% rise in business,

0:02:42 > 0:02:46which means a significant pay rise for all of you?

0:02:48 > 0:02:51PHONE RINGS

0:02:51 > 0:02:54Hello, Hotel King Jamie?

0:02:56 > 0:02:58Hello!

0:02:59 > 0:03:02Like I said, let's get cracking, boys and girls!

0:03:02 > 0:03:04Yeah! Ooof!

0:03:04 > 0:03:06Ha ha ha ha ha!

0:03:15 > 0:03:16Somebody's made an effort.

0:03:16 > 0:03:19It's for the journalist.

0:03:19 > 0:03:21I hope it's a gorgeous guy,

0:03:21 > 0:03:23then I can win him over with my feminine charm.

0:03:23 > 0:03:25Yeah? I hope it's a gorgeous woman

0:03:25 > 0:03:29cos then I can win her over with my feminine charms.

0:03:29 > 0:03:32- They're here.- I'll get it!

0:03:32 > 0:03:35- I'll get it!- No, I'll get it. I'll get it, I'll get it!

0:03:37 > 0:03:39Sally!

0:03:39 > 0:03:40Hally?!

0:03:40 > 0:03:41BARKING

0:03:41 > 0:03:43That's Tiddles.

0:03:43 > 0:03:47- Say hello, Tiddles. - Hello, Tiddles!- Hello, Tiddles.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49Sally, what are you doing?

0:03:49 > 0:03:52It's Hally Hornfurter, my ex-best friend from school.

0:03:52 > 0:03:55If we ignore her, maybe she'll go away.

0:03:57 > 0:03:59Drat!

0:03:59 > 0:04:01Get out of the way!

0:04:01 > 0:04:04You must be the journalist from Swish magazine,

0:04:04 > 0:04:06here to review the hotel.

0:04:06 > 0:04:09- If I say yes, do I get a free bed and breakfast?- Of course.

0:04:09 > 0:04:13Well, then, yes, I am the journalist from Swish magazine,

0:04:13 > 0:04:15here to review the hotel.

0:04:15 > 0:04:19Noooo!

0:04:24 > 0:04:26Have we got anything to wake her up with?

0:04:28 > 0:04:31- A sledge hammer.- No! I meant something like smelling salts.

0:04:31 > 0:04:33Oh, smelly socks. There we go.

0:04:33 > 0:04:37Oh, no. I said... Oh, never mind.

0:04:37 > 0:04:40That water should do the trick. Give it to Sally.

0:04:41 > 0:04:43SHE SQUEALS

0:04:44 > 0:04:47I meant give it to her to drink!

0:04:50 > 0:04:54Sally, why have you got such a problem with Hally?

0:04:54 > 0:04:58She's a bully and she's selfish and spoilt and always wants her own way.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01- That sounds like someone not too far away from me.- Lenny's not that bad.

0:05:01 > 0:05:04I'm telling you, Jamie, she's trouble.

0:05:04 > 0:05:08- That girl took away from me the only thing I ever loved.- Gossip magazine?

0:05:08 > 0:05:14No! Bertie, the butterfly hairclip my first boyfriend gave me.

0:05:14 > 0:05:17Wait, all this is over a hairclip?

0:05:17 > 0:05:19I'm sentimental.

0:05:19 > 0:05:24She isn't, she can't even remember my name! It's Brian, not Bertie.

0:05:24 > 0:05:26Look, Sally, if she gives us a good review,

0:05:26 > 0:05:28that means a really big pay rise.

0:05:28 > 0:05:32Can't you just put your differences aside for one day?

0:05:33 > 0:05:36No. That girl is rotten to the core, Jamie.

0:05:36 > 0:05:38Maybe she's changed.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40And maybe I'm Beyonce's choreographer.

0:05:40 > 0:05:43Are you really? I know all the moves to Single Ladies.

0:05:43 > 0:05:46# If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it

0:05:46 > 0:05:48# If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it

0:05:48 > 0:05:51# Don't be mad once you see that he want it... #

0:05:54 > 0:05:59- Hello. Sorry about the delay. Welcome to Hotel Trubble.- Thank you.

0:05:59 > 0:06:02Well, we haven't been introduced properly yet, have we?

0:06:02 > 0:06:07I'm Hally, and you must be the owner of the hotel?

0:06:07 > 0:06:09Oh, no. No, I'm Jamie, the bell...

0:06:09 > 0:06:11the executive bellboy.

0:06:11 > 0:06:16Ah, yes. Yes, I knew there was something special about you.

0:06:16 > 0:06:18It's the way you hold yourself, yes?

0:06:18 > 0:06:20Masterful.

0:06:20 > 0:06:21Please.

0:06:23 > 0:06:28So, did Sally tell you we used to be bestest friends?

0:06:28 > 0:06:30Well, that's not quite how she put it.

0:06:30 > 0:06:32Yeah.

0:06:32 > 0:06:35We did have a teeny-weeny falling out.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39Sorry...

0:06:40 > 0:06:41I, um...

0:06:41 > 0:06:45You know, I just...I just wish there was a way I could make it up to her.

0:06:45 > 0:06:50Well, I, er... I might have a suggestion.

0:06:51 > 0:06:53Sally, be reasonable.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55Fate has brought us together.

0:06:55 > 0:06:57Well, fate can bog off.

0:06:57 > 0:06:58We were so close.

0:06:58 > 0:07:02- You were the guest of honour at my 10th birthday party.- I remember.

0:07:02 > 0:07:04MUSIC: "Bugaboo" by Destiny's Child

0:07:09 > 0:07:10MUSIC STOPS

0:07:13 > 0:07:15I win!

0:07:15 > 0:07:16SALLY WAILS

0:07:19 > 0:07:22Let me make it up to you.

0:07:22 > 0:07:26It's my birthday today, you could be guest of honour at that.

0:07:26 > 0:07:27- MOCKING:- No, thanks!

0:07:27 > 0:07:30Look, what if I showed you just how much I've changed?

0:07:30 > 0:07:32And how are you going to do that?

0:07:38 > 0:07:40I should never have taken Bertie.

0:07:40 > 0:07:43Yeah, you're right, you shouldn't have.

0:07:44 > 0:07:48But I'm Brian! Brian! Brian!

0:07:48 > 0:07:51- Truce?- Truce.

0:07:51 > 0:07:54Oh, darling, don't touch there, you know the rules.

0:08:00 > 0:08:05# So no-one told you life was gonna be this way... #

0:08:07 > 0:08:09Whoo-oo!

0:08:09 > 0:08:14So...when will the review be in Swish magazine?

0:08:14 > 0:08:17- SHE GIGGLES - Steady on, it's not finished yet.

0:08:17 > 0:08:19But I thought you loved your room

0:08:19 > 0:08:22and the VIP service, the express service...

0:08:22 > 0:08:27Yes, I do, Dolly, but you know, to get a really good review,

0:08:27 > 0:08:30there are a few extras one expects I'm not sure Hotel Trubble has.

0:08:30 > 0:08:36- Like what?- Um... A pooch pamper parlour for a start.

0:08:36 > 0:08:37Do you have one of those?

0:08:37 > 0:08:43Yes! It's on the, er... the third floor.

0:08:43 > 0:08:47Really? Maybe you wouldn't mind giving Tiddles the once over.

0:08:47 > 0:08:49GROWLING

0:08:49 > 0:08:51Oh, he only bites if you make sudden movements

0:08:51 > 0:08:56or breathe too heavily, and he won't draw blood, if you're lucky.

0:08:56 > 0:09:02- GROWLING AND BARKING - It's all part of the service.

0:09:06 > 0:09:11So, um...what have you written in your review so far?

0:09:11 > 0:09:16This and that, you know, mostly about a certain member of staff.

0:09:16 > 0:09:19A very handsome and talented young man

0:09:19 > 0:09:21who deserves a big fat promotion.

0:09:21 > 0:09:26Here here. I always said Lenny deserved a leg up.

0:09:26 > 0:09:30Yes, thank you, Mrs Poshington. Cheers.

0:09:32 > 0:09:36Well, I'd better get off, got lots of executive bellboy things to do

0:09:36 > 0:09:38so, um...

0:09:41 > 0:09:43I'm going to go.

0:09:44 > 0:09:46Oh...

0:09:46 > 0:09:50Jamie, the television's not working. Jamie!

0:09:53 > 0:09:55Excuse me, sweetie pie.

0:09:58 > 0:10:00Hello, Hotel Trubble?

0:10:00 > 0:10:06Could you ask Hally what kind of shampoo she likes to use on Tiddles?

0:10:06 > 0:10:08Why don't you ask her yourself?

0:10:08 > 0:10:13Because I'm stopping the little angel from escaping from the bath.

0:10:19 > 0:10:23I can't possibly hold it like this all day.

0:10:23 > 0:10:25Shut it, old woman! I'm trying to watch Eastenders.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27Your miserable whining

0:10:27 > 0:10:29is interrupting their miserable whining.

0:10:29 > 0:10:31I don't have to put up with this, you know!

0:10:31 > 0:10:33You put that aerial down,

0:10:33 > 0:10:36and I will write the worst review this hotel has ever had.

0:10:36 > 0:10:39Then it will close and you will be homeless.

0:10:39 > 0:10:41You wouldn't dare!

0:10:41 > 0:10:42Just try me.

0:10:42 > 0:10:46- Doof, doof, doof, doof-doof-doof... - SHE LAUGHS

0:10:49 > 0:10:52What are you writing?

0:10:52 > 0:10:54Nothing. Er...

0:10:54 > 0:10:56"Hotel manager?"

0:10:56 > 0:11:01Well, could be. You know, if we get a good review in Swish magazine.

0:11:01 > 0:11:05But we all need to pull together and take care of our special guest.

0:11:05 > 0:11:07In fact,

0:11:07 > 0:11:11I'm going to ask Chef if he'll make her one of our special lunches.

0:11:12 > 0:11:15Get out, man! SMASHING AND BANGING

0:11:15 > 0:11:19You want a little piece of that? You want me to burn you with a sausage?

0:11:19 > 0:11:20A saucisson?!

0:11:21 > 0:11:23Says it will be ready in a minute.

0:11:29 > 0:11:30One lump or two?

0:11:30 > 0:11:33Three. I'm not as sweet as I look.

0:11:33 > 0:11:34THEY ALL LAUGH

0:11:34 > 0:11:37- That's funny.- What are you doing on those steps, Mrs P?

0:11:37 > 0:11:40Oh, she likes it up there, don't you, dear?

0:11:40 > 0:11:43You can come back down now and finish your work.

0:11:43 > 0:11:45She's a few sandwiches short of a picnic!

0:11:48 > 0:11:52Here's little Tiddles, groomed to perfection.

0:11:52 > 0:11:56Oh, my precious baby. Did he behave for you?

0:11:56 > 0:11:59Yes, only a few bites.

0:11:59 > 0:12:04Nothing to worry about, just flesh wounds.

0:12:05 > 0:12:06Milk?

0:12:06 > 0:12:10- Is it fresh?- Of course. Only the best for our guests.

0:12:16 > 0:12:18Oooh!

0:12:18 > 0:12:19Top me up.

0:12:20 > 0:12:24- That was quick.- Yes, I think I'll take it black this time.

0:12:24 > 0:12:26Right. There we go.

0:12:26 > 0:12:29And your sugar.

0:12:30 > 0:12:34- Lenny!- Oh, you...funny little man. It's not a problem.

0:12:39 > 0:12:42# Put some sugar on me

0:12:42 > 0:12:44# In the name of love

0:12:44 > 0:12:47# Pour some sugar on me

0:12:47 > 0:12:49# Come on, fire me up

0:12:49 > 0:12:51# Pour your sug... #

0:12:51 > 0:12:54Do you mind?

0:12:54 > 0:12:55Not in the slightest.

0:12:58 > 0:12:59OK?

0:12:59 > 0:13:01Mrs Poshington?

0:13:01 > 0:13:05Yes, I think you should consider getting a more competent cleaner.

0:13:05 > 0:13:08- Any chance of a scone?- Of course.

0:13:08 > 0:13:09Sally, give one to Hally.

0:13:09 > 0:13:12My pleasure.

0:13:12 > 0:13:14Sorry, Lenny!

0:13:14 > 0:13:17- How dare you?!- Have you gone mad?

0:13:17 > 0:13:19Well, I must have, to think that she'd ever change!

0:13:24 > 0:13:25Come here!

0:13:30 > 0:13:31I'll save you, Hally!

0:13:31 > 0:13:34SHOUTING

0:13:37 > 0:13:40- Sally.- Hally.

0:13:40 > 0:13:44Oh, I've just got to go and see a man about a frog.

0:13:44 > 0:13:47No, I mean dog. No, I do mean frog.

0:13:47 > 0:13:50- There's a lovely little green one for sale...- Go away!- Go away!

0:13:53 > 0:13:57You little rat!

0:13:57 > 0:14:00You got crumbs in my beautiful hair. You know the rules.

0:14:00 > 0:14:04- You haven't changed one bit, have you?- No, not really.

0:14:04 > 0:14:06But what about Bertie the hairclip?

0:14:06 > 0:14:08Jamie told me to give it to you.

0:14:08 > 0:14:10And by the way, butterflies are so 2005,

0:14:10 > 0:14:14it's all about Delbert the dragonfly. Hmm, yes? Look, look.

0:14:14 > 0:14:17Which, quite frankly, are much more, well, me.

0:14:17 > 0:14:18His name is David.

0:14:18 > 0:14:21Shut it, Billy.

0:14:21 > 0:14:24It's Brian! CRASH!

0:14:24 > 0:14:28So it was all an act. Why?

0:14:28 > 0:14:30I needed a place to stay for free.

0:14:30 > 0:14:33- Duh.- But I thought you were a fancy journalist now?

0:14:33 > 0:14:37Oh, get with the programme, please, darling. I made it all up.

0:14:37 > 0:14:41I told the real journo not to bother coming.

0:14:41 > 0:14:44You scheming little... I knew you were up to something.

0:14:44 > 0:14:46Sally? Office.

0:14:46 > 0:14:47Pronto.

0:14:59 > 0:15:01Right, we need an emergency meeting.

0:15:01 > 0:15:05- What makes an emergency meeting different to a normal one?- This.

0:15:05 > 0:15:08- What are you playing at, Sally? - Have you gone bananas?

0:15:08 > 0:15:12- You attacked a guest. - She deserved it.

0:15:12 > 0:15:15Neither of you know what a conniving little madam she is.

0:15:15 > 0:15:20I think that might be someone who's not too far away from me.

0:15:20 > 0:15:21Jamie's not that bad.

0:15:26 > 0:15:27Duty calls.

0:15:27 > 0:15:31I'd better go and make up for the damage you've caused.

0:15:31 > 0:15:33VERY LOUD BONG

0:15:36 > 0:15:40See? Hally's got you running around after her just how she likes it.

0:15:40 > 0:15:43Oh! Now I understand.

0:15:43 > 0:15:46- You're jealous of her.- No, I'm not!

0:15:46 > 0:15:49You can't stand it because we like her and she likes us.

0:15:49 > 0:15:53In fact, you hate it because she thinks we're management material

0:15:53 > 0:15:56and we're going places once this review is published.

0:15:56 > 0:15:59- SPLUTTERS ANGRILY - Yeah!

0:15:59 > 0:16:02Can't you see she's pulling the wool over your eyes?

0:16:02 > 0:16:05Wool? Oh, no, no wool here.

0:16:05 > 0:16:07Looks like you're wrong!

0:16:11 > 0:16:13Hi, Jamie.

0:16:13 > 0:16:19I was wondering, would you give me a tour of the gardens?

0:16:19 > 0:16:22It's for the review. It's almost done, give or take a month.

0:16:22 > 0:16:27- A month?- Or two. Well, you have to get these things exactly right,

0:16:27 > 0:16:31especially when a certain someone's career depends on it.

0:16:31 > 0:16:35- Allow me.- Thank you. - Oh, oh, Jamie...

0:16:41 > 0:16:45Jamie, with your vision, that area, what you could do with it!

0:16:45 > 0:16:48I agree. What are you doing?

0:16:48 > 0:16:52- Hang on.- Staff only, sorry.

0:16:56 > 0:16:59Sally, you are being incredibly rude.

0:16:59 > 0:17:02Jamie, you are being incredibly stupid.

0:17:02 > 0:17:04What are you talking about?

0:17:05 > 0:17:09You let Lenny take a tumble just so you could go off with that,

0:17:09 > 0:17:14- that monster.- It's all right, Jamie, it only hurts when I blink.

0:17:14 > 0:17:16Ahh! Ow!

0:17:16 > 0:17:20Look, Lenny, I'm really sorry. But Hally is not a monster, all right?

0:17:20 > 0:17:22She's a kind and generous girl

0:17:22 > 0:17:25who only has everyone's best interests at heart.

0:17:25 > 0:17:27She doesn't have a heart, Jamie.

0:17:27 > 0:17:30Can't you see she's just a spiteful,

0:17:30 > 0:17:35- mean-spirited freeloader and she's taking advantage of you?- Nonsense.

0:17:35 > 0:17:37Has anyone seen the scissors?

0:17:39 > 0:17:41Hally wants me to trim Tiddles' nails.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45And then Hally's nails.

0:17:45 > 0:17:52- See?- Dolly, Sally thinks Hally is taking advantage of us.

0:17:52 > 0:17:53Rubbish.

0:17:53 > 0:17:55This is all part of the service.

0:17:55 > 0:18:01It's how we get good review in Swish magazine, you mark my words.

0:18:01 > 0:18:05She doesn't even work for Swish magazine!

0:18:05 > 0:18:10- HE LAUGHS - Nice try.

0:18:10 > 0:18:13So she hasn't asked you if she can stay on for a bit then?

0:18:13 > 0:18:16- Maybe.- Ah-ha! She's just using you

0:18:16 > 0:18:20to get free bed and breakfast. She tried it on with me first.

0:18:20 > 0:18:23Nonsense. She needs more time to write the review.

0:18:23 > 0:18:25Well, if she stays, I go.

0:18:25 > 0:18:29- She's staying.- Well, I'm going. - Go then.- Well, I will then.

0:18:29 > 0:18:32Well, if that's what you really want, I can't stop you, Sally.

0:18:32 > 0:18:36Well, I guess that's goodbye then.

0:18:36 > 0:18:38DOOF DOOF DOOF DOOF-DOOF!

0:18:38 > 0:18:40Turn off that TV, Lenny.

0:18:40 > 0:18:44Oh, sorry, Jamie. Ow, ahh!

0:18:46 > 0:18:49- SOMBRE PIANO PLAYS - I never thought it'd come to this.

0:18:49 > 0:18:52Hotel Trubble is my life.

0:18:53 > 0:18:56Lenny, I'm trying to have a moment here,

0:18:56 > 0:18:58would you quit with the piano, OK?

0:19:03 > 0:19:06What's going to happen to me now I have to leave?

0:19:07 > 0:19:12# All by myself

0:19:13 > 0:19:15# Don't want to be

0:19:15 > 0:19:20# All by myself

0:19:20 > 0:19:22# Any more... #

0:19:22 > 0:19:23It can't be.

0:19:23 > 0:19:27It is! It's Sally.

0:19:27 > 0:19:29Oh, sweetie pie.

0:19:29 > 0:19:33Jamie? Jamie!

0:19:33 > 0:19:34Oh, you stink!

0:19:37 > 0:19:42Ohh! What am I going to do, Lenny?

0:19:42 > 0:19:43I don't know.

0:19:51 > 0:19:56Did you dong on the gong, for the 20th time in an hour?

0:19:56 > 0:19:58I did dong, yes.

0:19:58 > 0:20:01You see, Tiddles' tootsies are a wee bit cold

0:20:01 > 0:20:03now that he's had his nails trimmed

0:20:03 > 0:20:05so I want you to go and pick him up

0:20:05 > 0:20:07a widdle pair of pink woolly socks.

0:20:09 > 0:20:10Socks, you say?

0:20:10 > 0:20:14For a dog. Of course.

0:20:14 > 0:20:18All part of the service.

0:20:18 > 0:20:20Did you dong?

0:20:20 > 0:20:22Dolly's done the dong, yes,

0:20:22 > 0:20:24but while you're here...

0:20:24 > 0:20:29I'd like to thank you so much for sticking up for me against Sally.

0:20:29 > 0:20:32I mean, I really don't know what her problem is these days.

0:20:32 > 0:20:35Well, she won't be troubling you any more.

0:20:35 > 0:20:37She's decided to leave.

0:20:37 > 0:20:38Yes?

0:20:38 > 0:20:41It's a very sad situation.

0:20:43 > 0:20:45Tragic.

0:20:46 > 0:20:51How clever is your mummy, Tiddles?

0:20:51 > 0:20:54I managed to bag us a place to stay for free, got Sally fired

0:20:54 > 0:20:58and that moron Jamie still thinks I work for Swish magazine.

0:20:58 > 0:21:01Yes, I think we could be very comfortable here.

0:21:01 > 0:21:04- Don't you, sweetie pie? - BARKING

0:21:13 > 0:21:16- Let me at her. - Is everything all right in here?

0:21:16 > 0:21:19No it's not, Jamie. She's taking you for a ride.

0:21:19 > 0:21:21Sally's right, Jamie.

0:21:21 > 0:21:23I've seen it with my own eyes.

0:21:23 > 0:21:27Well, ears. She's not a real journalist, you know.

0:21:27 > 0:21:29Not you as well, Dolly?

0:21:29 > 0:21:32Anyone can tell that Hally works with words

0:21:32 > 0:21:35from her extensive vocabulary.

0:21:35 > 0:21:38Now, if no-one has an official complaint,

0:21:38 > 0:21:41can you all please stop this nonsense?

0:21:42 > 0:21:44I have an official complaint.

0:21:44 > 0:21:50That girl made me hold up the TV aerial for two hours.

0:21:50 > 0:21:56Then she nearly drowned me in tea and tossed soggy sugar cubes in my face.

0:21:56 > 0:21:58- Is that true, Hally?- Of course not.

0:21:58 > 0:22:01I would never do something like that on purpose.

0:22:01 > 0:22:03You see, it's just a misunderstanding.

0:22:03 > 0:22:05Now let's all try and get along, shall we?

0:22:05 > 0:22:09I am not prepared to get along with Hally.

0:22:09 > 0:22:11Either she goes or I go.

0:22:13 > 0:22:15Well...

0:22:15 > 0:22:17if you insist on going, Mrs Poshington,

0:22:17 > 0:22:20you know I can't stop you.

0:22:21 > 0:22:26Jamie, you know if Sally and Mrs Poshington go,

0:22:26 > 0:22:28- I go.- And Lenny.

0:22:28 > 0:22:31But I haven't even seen her do anything wrong yet.

0:22:31 > 0:22:33- Plus I quite like her.- Lenny!

0:22:33 > 0:22:37Oh, OK, I stand firmly by your side.

0:22:39 > 0:22:43Jamie, I'm so sorry to see your staff are leaving you,

0:22:43 > 0:22:46but I can assure you none of this will go into the review

0:22:46 > 0:22:48if you draw a line under it now.

0:22:48 > 0:22:51Right. Of course.

0:22:51 > 0:22:54I suppose this is it then.

0:22:55 > 0:22:58It was really great working with your guys.

0:23:02 > 0:23:08- I can't believe this.- I know, we're missing Eastenders omnibus now.

0:23:08 > 0:23:11No. This! We've all lost our jobs

0:23:11 > 0:23:14because of that horrible Hally Hornfurter.

0:23:14 > 0:23:17So now she's finally got what she wanted, hasn't she?

0:23:17 > 0:23:19Yeah, Eastenders all to herself.

0:23:19 > 0:23:24No. The hotel. She's practically running the place now.

0:23:24 > 0:23:27I wish we could think of a way to show Jamie

0:23:27 > 0:23:29just what a fraud she is.

0:23:29 > 0:23:30- GASPS - I've got it!

0:23:30 > 0:23:32Oh, can I have it?

0:23:34 > 0:23:36DIALS PHONE

0:23:36 > 0:23:41Hello, is that Swish magazine?

0:23:43 > 0:23:48Hi, Jamie. Oh, why the long face?

0:23:48 > 0:23:50I was born with it.

0:23:50 > 0:23:52My mum looks like Bruce Forsyth.

0:23:52 > 0:23:55I'm Jamie's mum. Would you like a cup of tea?

0:23:55 > 0:23:58No, I mean, you're not feeling down, are you?

0:23:58 > 0:24:02I suppose I just miss Sally and Lenny and Dolly and...

0:24:02 > 0:24:04- Mrs Poshington? - No, I don't miss her.

0:24:04 > 0:24:08- Well, maybe a bit.- Well, you can always go into the garden.

0:24:08 > 0:24:11You don't have to stay here and get promoted.

0:24:11 > 0:24:15I think what I meant was, we all have to move on at some point.

0:24:15 > 0:24:19It just takes a while getting used to it, you know. That's all.

0:24:19 > 0:24:21That's more like it, sweetie pie.

0:24:21 > 0:24:23Do you know,

0:24:23 > 0:24:28I'm sure you're going to make an incredible hotel manager.

0:24:28 > 0:24:30I'm pretty sure you'll get the call

0:24:30 > 0:24:32when the review comes out in a year or two.

0:24:32 > 0:24:34Hang on a sec,

0:24:34 > 0:24:35did you just say a year or two?

0:24:35 > 0:24:39Oh, I'm sorry, darling. I meant to say 365 days,

0:24:39 > 0:24:42give or take another 365 days.

0:24:42 > 0:24:46Well, I can't stand here chit-chatting all day.

0:24:46 > 0:24:49It's my birthday and I have plans to make.

0:24:49 > 0:24:50I, er... I just hope

0:24:50 > 0:24:56a certain dedicated professional has not forgotten my special day.

0:24:56 > 0:24:58It will all go in the review, of course.

0:24:58 > 0:25:00Of course.

0:25:14 > 0:25:16Hello, madam, how can I help?

0:25:16 > 0:25:22- Hi, I'm here from Swish magazine, I've come to review the hotel.- What?

0:25:22 > 0:25:25SHE COOS

0:25:28 > 0:25:33# Happy birthday to you

0:25:33 > 0:25:37# Happy birthday to you

0:25:37 > 0:25:42# Happy birthday dear Hally... #

0:25:42 > 0:25:46Chocolate and cream cake. Oh, it's my absolute favourite!

0:25:46 > 0:25:51# Happy birthday to you. #

0:25:51 > 0:25:53Enjoy.

0:25:55 > 0:25:58Oh, oh, oh!

0:26:02 > 0:26:05My beautiful hair!

0:26:05 > 0:26:07You ruined it!

0:26:07 > 0:26:09Do you have any idea how long it takes

0:26:09 > 0:26:12to get these curls perfect, you idiot?

0:26:12 > 0:26:13Why did you do that?

0:26:13 > 0:26:15You don't work for Swish magazine

0:26:15 > 0:26:17and you've made a complete fool out of me.

0:26:17 > 0:26:23I just wanted to see what you were really like, and it ain't pretty.

0:26:23 > 0:26:25ALL: Sweetie pie!

0:26:29 > 0:26:31Where will I go?

0:26:33 > 0:26:35I've got nowhere to stay.

0:26:35 > 0:26:36I have an idea.

0:26:36 > 0:26:40# All by myself... #

0:26:40 > 0:26:42- BARKING - Oh, shut it, you mangy mutt.

0:26:42 > 0:26:46- RIPPING - Bad dog! No, no!

0:26:49 > 0:26:54Well, I think we can safely say we will never ask anyone

0:26:54 > 0:26:57to come and review the hotel again.

0:27:05 > 0:27:08- LENNY:- Oh, these wheels have got to go.

0:27:12 > 0:27:15I'm...I'm sorry I doubted you, Sally.

0:27:15 > 0:27:17Do you forgive me?

0:27:17 > 0:27:19Depends.

0:27:19 > 0:27:24- On what?- Do you like Hally Hornfurter more than me?

0:27:24 > 0:27:26No, of course not.

0:27:26 > 0:27:32She was really annoying, but you, you're only mildly annoying.

0:27:32 > 0:27:34- You cheeky little... - PHONE RINGS

0:27:36 > 0:27:38Hello, Hotel Trubble.

0:27:38 > 0:27:41# Hotel Trubble forever

0:27:41 > 0:27:46# It's the pits and we know we're stuck but we love it

0:27:46 > 0:27:48# Hotel Trubble forever

0:27:48 > 0:27:51# We're a team staying calm arm in arm

0:27:51 > 0:27:54So the hotel survives. Trubble, Trubble!

0:27:54 > 0:27:56# Keep the hotel alive. #

0:27:56 > 0:27:59Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd