Strictly Come Prancing

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0:00:01 > 0:00:03Welcome to Hotel Trubble.

0:00:03 > 0:00:05Meet Sally, our receptionist.

0:00:05 > 0:00:08People, trying to have a conversation here.

0:00:08 > 0:00:09And this is Lenny.

0:00:09 > 0:00:11He's a man of many talents...

0:00:11 > 0:00:13This is Dolly.

0:00:13 > 0:00:17She's Mr Trubble's...ahem...fiancee.

0:00:17 > 0:00:20And this is Mr Poshington, the new cleaner.

0:00:20 > 0:00:22Which just leaves me, Jamie.

0:00:22 > 0:00:24I'm the bell boy.

0:00:24 > 0:00:27# Hotel Trubble forever

0:00:27 > 0:00:32# It's the pits and we know that we're stuck but we love it

0:00:32 > 0:00:34# Hotel Trubble forever

0:00:34 > 0:00:37# We're a team staying calm on and on

0:00:37 > 0:00:40# So the hotel survives Trubble, Trubble

0:00:41 > 0:00:43# The hotel of life. #

0:00:46 > 0:00:50"The stars' best kept beauty secret for eliminating wrinkles.

0:00:50 > 0:00:54"Do this simple exercise 20 times a day."

0:01:03 > 0:01:05It must be working by now.

0:01:05 > 0:01:08Let me have a look...

0:01:08 > 0:01:11Ah! Mr Poshington!

0:01:11 > 0:01:15Well. If that's a beauty secret, I can see why it's well kept.

0:01:15 > 0:01:16Why are you lurking there?

0:01:16 > 0:01:19I tidied everything away, like you asked.

0:01:19 > 0:01:21Mrs P, when I said everything,

0:01:21 > 0:01:24I meant rubbish and stuff. Not literally everything!

0:01:26 > 0:01:28Well, there were these things lying around.

0:01:28 > 0:01:31So, I put them in the lost property box.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34They were getting in the way of my cleaning.

0:01:34 > 0:01:38Mrs P, hotels are meant to have stuff lying around.

0:01:38 > 0:01:41Like sofas, and carpets, and stuff!

0:01:41 > 0:01:45Well, how am I supposed to know what's lost property and what's not?

0:01:45 > 0:01:50- I mean, that umbrella, for instance. - Yes, that's lost property.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52And these old glasses. But...

0:01:52 > 0:01:53..these?

0:01:54 > 0:01:58The telephone... and the first aid box?

0:01:58 > 0:02:00Good thing someone who's bothered about the hotel

0:02:00 > 0:02:04didn't see all of this, or they'd probably get angry or something.

0:02:04 > 0:02:06And the TV!

0:02:10 > 0:02:11- ON TV:- Strictly Come Prancing.

0:02:11 > 0:02:14I would have a go at you, but my programme is starting.

0:02:18 > 0:02:21Hello, Sally. Can you check the lost property box for me?

0:02:21 > 0:02:25I've lost me marbles. Me lucky marbles? Have you seen them?

0:02:25 > 0:02:27They're round and made of glass,

0:02:27 > 0:02:30and about the size of... the size of a marble.

0:02:30 > 0:02:33Lenny... We were watching that dancing programme.

0:02:33 > 0:02:36- I'll give you marbles in a minute! - Really? A whole minute?

0:02:36 > 0:02:39Shall I close my eyes now? Shall I start counting?

0:02:39 > 0:02:44One elephant, two elephant, three elephant, four elephant...

0:02:44 > 0:02:47five elephant, six elephant, seven elephant...

0:02:47 > 0:02:5058 elephant, 59 elephant, 60 elephant!

0:02:50 > 0:02:52Right, I'll just open my... Oh!

0:02:52 > 0:02:54Oh, Sally, you're so old!

0:02:54 > 0:02:56How long was I counting for?

0:02:56 > 0:02:59Oh, Dolly. Sorry, I thought you were Sally.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01I got confused with the elephants.

0:03:01 > 0:03:03Listen, I was just telling Jamie

0:03:03 > 0:03:07- about my brilliant new idea for the hotel.- Yeah, well it's an idea.

0:03:07 > 0:03:10Listen, Lenny. It's brilliant!

0:03:10 > 0:03:14You know how the big swanky hotels have spas with sunbeds?

0:03:14 > 0:03:18When you lie on a bed under a big lamp with the power of the sun?

0:03:18 > 0:03:24Right? Well, what we could do, the modern take, is moon beds!

0:03:24 > 0:03:28Beds that you lie on under a big lamp with the power of the moon.

0:03:28 > 0:03:30It's for people that don't want a tan.

0:03:30 > 0:03:32That... That is brilliant.

0:03:32 > 0:03:34It would also be useful for werewolves

0:03:34 > 0:03:36who wanted to change in the middle of the day.

0:03:36 > 0:03:41Yeah, yeah! You see, Jamie, Lenny understands my business brain.

0:03:42 > 0:03:44Sally, you think my spa idea

0:03:44 > 0:03:47is the best idea that anyone has ever had, ever. Don't you?

0:03:47 > 0:03:50I'm watching my TV programme.

0:03:50 > 0:03:53This is Strictly Come Prancing? I love this.

0:03:53 > 0:03:56That is Darren Chiseljaw.

0:03:56 > 0:03:58He's my favourite soap star. Superhunk.

0:03:58 > 0:04:01He's in this soap opera set in the East End,

0:04:01 > 0:04:04about a bunch of East Enders who East Ender about all day.

0:04:04 > 0:04:05That sounds good. What's it called?

0:04:05 > 0:04:07Er...can't remember.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09Darren Chiseljaw.

0:04:09 > 0:04:11My, that's a blast from the past.

0:04:11 > 0:04:14He happens to have been one of my old flames.

0:04:14 > 0:04:17- Wow, you went out with someone from the telly?- Yeah.

0:04:17 > 0:04:21Get him to come and stay at Hotel Trubble. Celebrities attract guests.

0:04:21 > 0:04:25Oh, no. I don't think Mr Trubble would be happy

0:04:25 > 0:04:29about my handsome ex-boyfriends running about the place.

0:04:29 > 0:04:31No, forget it. Right, now come with me, Lenny.

0:04:31 > 0:04:34I want you to help me with setting up the spa.

0:04:34 > 0:04:37I have a delivery of little cheeses arriving today,

0:04:37 > 0:04:41- so I want you to pick off all the red wax and melt it down.- Why?

0:04:41 > 0:04:43For the bikini waxing!

0:04:43 > 0:04:45Where else would I get wax from?

0:04:50 > 0:04:52I'm getting fed up with Dolly's ideas.

0:04:52 > 0:04:54She's Mr Trubble's girlfriend,

0:04:54 > 0:04:57so we have to go along with everything she says. And buy cake!

0:04:57 > 0:05:00I mean, if we had celebrities staying here,

0:05:00 > 0:05:03it's not like Mr Trubble would have to know. You know?

0:05:03 > 0:05:06It's not like he's listening in on everything.

0:05:06 > 0:05:09SIREN

0:05:14 > 0:05:16Hello. Hotel Trubble.

0:05:16 > 0:05:18SHOUTING

0:05:18 > 0:05:22No. No, Mr Trubble, we weren't talking about you.

0:05:22 > 0:05:23What's that?

0:05:23 > 0:05:25Your Chinese business associates

0:05:25 > 0:05:30are finally moving the giant pandas out of the ballroom? Yeah.

0:05:30 > 0:05:34Well, it's lucky that zoo just opened next door, isn't it?

0:05:36 > 0:05:37Yes.

0:05:37 > 0:05:39Yes, of course.

0:05:39 > 0:05:42Right, Mr Trubble, sir, yeah. OK.

0:05:42 > 0:05:43Goodbye.

0:05:43 > 0:05:45Did you hear that, Sally?

0:05:45 > 0:05:48- Exciting news.- My programme!

0:05:48 > 0:05:50Yes, Sally. Look...

0:05:50 > 0:05:53Mr Trubble wants us to think of a creative way

0:05:53 > 0:05:56to use the ballroom, to bring more people to the hotel.

0:05:56 > 0:05:58If I could come up with a great idea,

0:05:58 > 0:06:03Mr Trubble might promote me to hotel manager...

0:06:03 > 0:06:04above Dolly.

0:06:04 > 0:06:06Oh!

0:06:08 > 0:06:13Hmmm, a ballroom... A ballroom...

0:06:13 > 0:06:16I've got it! Ballroom dancing!

0:06:16 > 0:06:17Brilliant!

0:06:17 > 0:06:20All the shiny, sparkly dresses

0:06:20 > 0:06:24and the hunky dancers in skin-tight trousers...

0:06:24 > 0:06:25No!

0:06:27 > 0:06:30I mean, er, surely there's got to be something else

0:06:30 > 0:06:34we can do in the ballroom other than ballroom dancing? Ball...room?

0:06:34 > 0:06:38Ball room. Why don't we use it for putting balls in it?

0:06:38 > 0:06:39Yeah, like footballs.

0:06:39 > 0:06:42Great big meatballs. Oooh, and cannonballs.

0:06:42 > 0:06:45Did someone drop a cannonball on your head?

0:06:45 > 0:06:48That's settled, then. We're going with my dancing idea, yeah?

0:06:48 > 0:06:52And look, I found Dolly's phone book.

0:06:52 > 0:06:54It was here in the lost property box.

0:06:54 > 0:06:57- We could call her ex-boyfriend. - Darren Chiseljaw?- Yeah.

0:06:57 > 0:07:00We just need to try and get him to stay at the hotel,

0:07:00 > 0:07:05and then advertise it as a beautiful evening of ballroom dancing,

0:07:05 > 0:07:10with the stars of Strictly Come Prancing. What do you think, Lenny?

0:07:10 > 0:07:11I think it's a terrible idea.

0:07:11 > 0:07:17- Ballroom dancing? The horror, the horror!- Weirdo.

0:07:20 > 0:07:22Right, Lenny. Dolly mustn't know anything

0:07:22 > 0:07:25about tomorrow's ballroom dancing extravaganza.

0:07:25 > 0:07:28It's important that she thinks we're doing the spa.

0:07:28 > 0:07:31Can you go and help her with some spa things, keep her busy?

0:07:31 > 0:07:32Whatever you say.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34Just let me get out of here before THEY arrive.

0:07:34 > 0:07:40How on earth did you get megastar dance judge Marlene Filament

0:07:40 > 0:07:41to come to this crummy dump?

0:07:41 > 0:07:46Er, I might have told them that VIPs get free use of our spa facilities.

0:07:46 > 0:07:49- What spa?- The spa that Dolly thinks we're helping her with,

0:07:49 > 0:07:52- even though we're not.- Jamie...

0:07:52 > 0:07:55I don't believe it. Lenny has flooded the entire kitchen

0:07:55 > 0:07:58and turned it into a cold plunge pool.

0:07:58 > 0:08:00Isn't that brilliant?

0:08:00 > 0:08:02Yeah...

0:08:02 > 0:08:04- Brilliant!- Brilliant.

0:08:04 > 0:08:06Wow!

0:08:06 > 0:08:11I can't believe that gorgeous Darren Chiseljaw is checking into my hotel.

0:08:11 > 0:08:13We've arrived!

0:08:13 > 0:08:16The supersonic stars of light entertainment,

0:08:16 > 0:08:19here for the brilliant ballroom bonanza.

0:08:19 > 0:08:21Where's the Jacuzzi?

0:08:22 > 0:08:26Hello, treacle. So, this is the Hotel Barney Rubble - Trubble.

0:08:26 > 0:08:28- Cor, you're a right currant bunner. - You what?

0:08:28 > 0:08:32Stunner. It's Cockney griming clang. Rhyming slang.

0:08:32 > 0:08:35You know, how they talk in the East End? Apple and pears, stairs?

0:08:35 > 0:08:38- No, I don't get it.- Like this.

0:08:38 > 0:08:41Your mince pies are like slimy bras.

0:08:41 > 0:08:44Your eyes are like shiny stars.

0:08:48 > 0:08:53That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard. Slimy bras!

0:08:53 > 0:08:54You're dreamy...

0:08:55 > 0:08:59Darren, I'd save all that smouldering energy for the rumba.

0:08:59 > 0:09:05Hello, dear. I'm Marlene Filament, doctor of dance and jauntiest judge

0:09:05 > 0:09:08on Strictly Come Prancing.

0:09:08 > 0:09:12And this is the show's most passionate Prussian professional,

0:09:12 > 0:09:14Ms Tatiana Vladivir.

0:09:14 > 0:09:16Hi. I'm Sally,

0:09:16 > 0:09:19receptionist and total mega-fan of all your work,

0:09:19 > 0:09:23thank you for asking. Lenny will take your bags.

0:09:23 > 0:09:25LENNY!

0:09:26 > 0:09:30Hello, there. Oh my, you look familiar.

0:09:30 > 0:09:34You ring more bells than Quasimodo on six pints of coffee.

0:09:34 > 0:09:37What, me? No, I don't.

0:09:37 > 0:09:40Shall I take your bags, person I've never met?

0:09:40 > 0:09:44You do. You look just like someone I used to know a long time ago.

0:09:44 > 0:09:47But he was as graceful as a gazelle.

0:09:47 > 0:09:50Well, there you go, it can't be me. I'm not graceful at all.

0:09:50 > 0:09:53See, look...

0:09:53 > 0:09:55I'll deal with the bags.

0:09:55 > 0:09:58Lenny, you're supposed to be keeping Dolly busy in the spa.

0:09:58 > 0:10:00Oh, right!

0:10:00 > 0:10:03What say you and me trip the light fandango?

0:10:03 > 0:10:05You mean...dancing?

0:10:06 > 0:10:10Why not just skip that bit and go straight to a wedding in Paris?

0:10:10 > 0:10:15- Jamie...- Woah, woah!

0:10:15 > 0:10:18Jamie! What's going on?

0:10:18 > 0:10:22Sorry, I was just trying a new exercise technique. Resistance!

0:10:22 > 0:10:26I burnt off eight calories pushing you through that door.

0:10:26 > 0:10:29I'm really getting into this health spa idea. Yes, siree!

0:10:29 > 0:10:31See, I told you it was brilliant.

0:10:31 > 0:10:33Yeah. This Jacuzzi's coming along well.

0:10:33 > 0:10:35I hope the bubbles stay in.

0:10:35 > 0:10:38Jamie, I don't suppose you've seen my special lucky marbles, have you?

0:10:38 > 0:10:42- I've lost them and I really need them for good luck.- Sorry, no.

0:10:42 > 0:10:45Jamie, why was there a woman in reception

0:10:45 > 0:10:49- wearing like a big feathered headdress?- It's a new treatment.

0:10:49 > 0:10:54Yes, haven't you ever heard of the healing power of chickens?

0:10:54 > 0:10:57You just stay here, Dolly, and relax.

0:10:57 > 0:11:01Oh, Lenny, have you hired that Swedish masseur that I asked for?

0:11:01 > 0:11:04Yes, of course he has! Yes, of course.

0:11:04 > 0:11:06Er, Lenny, go and get Sven.

0:11:06 > 0:11:10Just lie down here, put your feet up.

0:11:10 > 0:11:13There we are. I'm just going to put this over your face.

0:11:15 > 0:11:17Yeah, there we go.

0:11:18 > 0:11:19HE MOUTHS

0:11:19 > 0:11:24Oh, yeah, I'll just go and get him.

0:11:26 > 0:11:30Hurdy gurdy. I am Sven, the Svedish masseuse.

0:11:30 > 0:11:34Yah, here to do your special Svedish massage.

0:11:36 > 0:11:40Hey, why don't I show everyone to their rooms very, very quickly?

0:11:40 > 0:11:44Come with me, Ms Vladivir, up the stairs. Just the six flights.

0:11:47 > 0:11:51Well, I hope he's taking her to a good room with plenty of fresh air.

0:11:51 > 0:11:56Tatiana needs to be in tip-top health for tomorrow's toe-tapping turn.

0:11:56 > 0:12:00If anything were to happen to her, a terrible accident...

0:12:00 > 0:12:02SCREAMING

0:12:02 > 0:12:04CRASHING

0:12:07 > 0:12:09I've found Lenny's marbles.

0:12:11 > 0:12:15Tatiana, what a terrible accident.

0:12:15 > 0:12:20Slaloming down six steps of slippery stairs. Are you OK?

0:12:20 > 0:12:23- Rrrrrrrrrr....- Can you move your finger? Go on, try.

0:12:23 > 0:12:24SNAPPING

0:12:24 > 0:12:28No chance you can do a Cuban merengue reverse turn,

0:12:28 > 0:12:32French twist and cross-body lead with a cucaracha finish?

0:12:32 > 0:12:33Rrrrrrrrrr!

0:12:33 > 0:12:36Oh, that's a kick in the knickers.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39Ms Filament, I'm so sorry. I can't apologise enough.

0:12:39 > 0:12:42And now we're one dancer down for the big show.

0:12:42 > 0:12:44Hello, Jamie.

0:12:47 > 0:12:50Look at all the guests using our spa facilities.

0:12:50 > 0:12:52What's she having done?

0:12:52 > 0:12:56She's wearing a full-bodied mudpack.

0:12:56 > 0:12:59Here, try some. Close your eyes...

0:13:02 > 0:13:05Mmm, that mud smells healthy.

0:13:05 > 0:13:10Yeah. It's special...mud

0:13:10 > 0:13:12from the zoo next door.

0:13:12 > 0:13:15- PARP! - Get it while it's hot! Panda poo!

0:13:15 > 0:13:17Tit for tat, that means hat.

0:13:18 > 0:13:21Britney Spears is...

0:13:21 > 0:13:24That rhyming! I know that voice.

0:13:24 > 0:13:27That's Darren Chiseljaw, my old flame.

0:13:27 > 0:13:29What's he doing at Hotel Trubble?

0:13:29 > 0:13:31Um, he must be here to win you back, Dolly.

0:13:31 > 0:13:33You ARE an irresistible woman.

0:13:35 > 0:13:38Darren, I know why you're here.

0:13:38 > 0:13:40This has to stop right now.

0:13:40 > 0:13:44Blimey, Dolly, it's been donkey's years since I seen your boat race.

0:13:44 > 0:13:45Face.

0:13:45 > 0:13:47You've changed a bit. You're more muddy.

0:13:47 > 0:13:50It's a reckless idea, Darren.

0:13:50 > 0:13:51People will get hurt.

0:13:51 > 0:13:54Nah. I mean, Tatiana fell down the apples and pears.

0:13:54 > 0:13:58Stairs. But the worst I got during rehearsal is a sprained ankle.

0:13:58 > 0:14:01Anyway, my agent said I should do this.

0:14:01 > 0:14:04Said it'd be good to get amongst the fans. The little people.

0:14:04 > 0:14:06The little people?

0:14:06 > 0:14:08Is that what you think of me?!

0:14:08 > 0:14:12I've never been so insulted in my life!

0:14:12 > 0:14:14She has, just not to her face.

0:14:14 > 0:14:18I don't get it! Why has she gone so chicken jalfrezi?

0:14:18 > 0:14:22- Lazy?- Crazy. About me coming here to do a ballroom display.

0:14:22 > 0:14:27- I don't know. Women!- Rahaha!- Bad news, I'm afraid, Darren.

0:14:27 > 0:14:31Tatiana won't be able to cha cha cha for the foreseeable.

0:14:31 > 0:14:35- She's bruised every bone from - her bonce to her backside.

0:14:38 > 0:14:40- CRUNCHING - Mmmmmm!

0:14:40 > 0:14:43But she was my dance partner! On the custard and jelly.

0:14:43 > 0:14:45Telly.

0:14:45 > 0:14:49- Who's going to dance with me now? - Dolly, Sven the Swedish masseuse

0:14:49 > 0:14:52- says you've left your... unmentionables.- This is important.

0:14:52 > 0:14:55My big ballroom spectacular is in jeopardy.

0:14:55 > 0:14:58There must be someone who can replace Tatiana!

0:14:59 > 0:15:01Well, everyone?

0:15:01 > 0:15:07Can anyone think of a girl who'd be up for wearing a free lovely dress

0:15:07 > 0:15:09and dancing up very, very close with hunky Darren here,

0:15:09 > 0:15:12in front of hordes of screaming fans?

0:15:19 > 0:15:21Sorry, no. I can't think of anyone.

0:15:21 > 0:15:23Really, Sally? Don't you want to be on TV?

0:15:23 > 0:15:28Dancing cheek to cheek with Soapy Trousers here?

0:15:28 > 0:15:30Shut up and leave me alone!

0:15:46 > 0:15:49Oh, Sally! Jelly snakes?

0:15:49 > 0:15:53You only hit the hard stuff when things are really bad. What's wrong?

0:15:53 > 0:15:55- Nothing! I'm completely fine. - Oh, right-o.

0:15:55 > 0:15:57- No, I didn't mean it.- Sorry.

0:15:57 > 0:16:00It's Strictly Come Prancing, Jamie.

0:16:00 > 0:16:03You know how much I'd love to dance in front of everyone

0:16:03 > 0:16:06with a hunk like Darren...

0:16:06 > 0:16:08So, why didn't you say yes?

0:16:11 > 0:16:13Jamie, I've got a terrible secret.

0:16:16 > 0:16:17Here it comes.

0:16:19 > 0:16:22SHE SIGHS

0:16:25 > 0:16:27- CRUNCH - Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

0:16:27 > 0:16:29It's coming...

0:16:31 > 0:16:32Jamie!

0:16:34 > 0:16:36I...

0:16:36 > 0:16:37Can't...

0:16:38 > 0:16:40..Dance!

0:16:40 > 0:16:41What?!

0:16:41 > 0:16:44Of course you can. I've seen you dancing! Loads of times.

0:16:44 > 0:16:47No. You've only seen me dance for about eight seconds.

0:16:47 > 0:16:50After eight seconds, it all goes terribly wrong!

0:16:50 > 0:16:53Got that?

0:16:53 > 0:16:56Seriously, I'm terrible!

0:16:56 > 0:17:00People are physically sick at the sight of me dancing.

0:17:00 > 0:17:02I'm sure that's not true.

0:17:02 > 0:17:05I bet you're a beautiful dancer for more than eight seconds.

0:17:05 > 0:17:09- I want you to show me.- Rrrrrrrrrrr!

0:17:09 > 0:17:12OK, Jamie. If you really believe in me.

0:17:12 > 0:17:14Hit it!

0:17:18 > 0:17:22Yeah! That's it! You've got the moves!

0:17:22 > 0:17:24# The minute you walked in the joint

0:17:24 > 0:17:26# I could see you were a man of distinction... #

0:17:26 > 0:17:30Five, six, seven, eight.

0:17:33 > 0:17:34Urgh, what's happening?

0:17:34 > 0:17:38- This is terrible! My eyes! I can't look away!

0:17:38 > 0:17:42# So let me get right to the point

0:17:42 > 0:17:47# I don't pop my cork for every man I see... #

0:17:47 > 0:17:48That's better.

0:17:48 > 0:17:51# Hey, big spender...

0:17:51 > 0:17:54HE VOMITS, SHE YELLS

0:17:55 > 0:17:58Oh, stop the hurt!

0:18:01 > 0:18:02That wasn't so bad.

0:18:02 > 0:18:05No, Sally, that WAS so bad.

0:18:05 > 0:18:09I've seen people with their bottoms on fire move with more grace!

0:18:09 > 0:18:14Sally, I don't understand. How can you be such a terrible dancer?

0:18:14 > 0:18:16I've got two left feet.

0:18:16 > 0:18:21You can say that again! Your dancing made me Wallace and Gromit.

0:18:21 > 0:18:22Vomit.

0:18:22 > 0:18:27No, really. I do have two left feet. Look.

0:18:28 > 0:18:30This defies physics!

0:18:30 > 0:18:33Two lefts do not make a right!

0:18:33 > 0:18:35Wow. I never noticed that before.

0:18:35 > 0:18:38Though it does explain why she spends so much money on shoes.

0:18:38 > 0:18:39He's right.

0:18:39 > 0:18:43I have to buy two pairs and just wear the left ones.

0:18:43 > 0:18:46Anyone want 50 strappy sandals, right foot only?

0:18:46 > 0:18:47You keep all your right shoes?

0:18:47 > 0:18:49Cor, you're a right peanut butter.

0:18:49 > 0:18:50Nutter.

0:18:50 > 0:18:53- Quiet, you big meanie!- Shut it, you!

0:18:53 > 0:18:55This I've got to see. Where do you keep 'em?

0:19:01 > 0:19:04- CRASH - Aaarrrgh!

0:19:07 > 0:19:11Oh... My poor soap star superhunk!

0:19:11 > 0:19:12Oh...

0:19:12 > 0:19:16Poor me, more like! Now there's not one decent dancer in the whole hotel!

0:19:21 > 0:19:27I'm not so sure about that. Not so sure at all!

0:19:27 > 0:19:30Don't look at me. I'm terrible!

0:19:30 > 0:19:32I knew I recognised you.

0:19:32 > 0:19:34Little Lenworth Lemon!

0:19:34 > 0:19:39From the Timmy Tippy-Toes School for Brilliant Boy Ballroom Dancers!

0:19:39 > 0:19:41You were my prize pupil.

0:19:41 > 0:19:43I don't know what you mean, Miss Filament!

0:19:43 > 0:19:45I mean, whoever you are... Oooh!

0:19:52 > 0:19:54All right, it's true.

0:19:54 > 0:19:57I was once a brilliant boy ballroom dancer.

0:19:59 > 0:20:03Lenny was the most beautiful dancer I'd ever seen.

0:20:04 > 0:20:07But then, something happened. Something dreadful.

0:20:07 > 0:20:11My terrible secret. Why I swore I would never dance again.

0:20:11 > 0:20:13It was my final exam.

0:20:13 > 0:20:15Grade 12, Modern Ballroom.

0:20:15 > 0:20:18I finished with a Cuban pivot turn

0:20:18 > 0:20:19and extended fan kick.

0:20:19 > 0:20:21I'd done it a million times, but...

0:20:21 > 0:20:24CRASHES

0:20:24 > 0:20:28"Doughnut Dave to base, I've been attacked by an irate balletist.

0:20:29 > 0:20:30"Send for back-up!

0:20:30 > 0:20:33"And a vet!"

0:20:35 > 0:20:39I swore from that very day that I would never dance again.

0:20:39 > 0:20:40I'm cursed, you know.

0:20:40 > 0:20:44Come on. What are the chances of your shoe coming off,

0:20:44 > 0:20:49flying out the window, smashing the windscreen of a police car,

0:20:49 > 0:20:52blinding the driver, causing a collision with the wall of a zoo

0:20:52 > 0:20:54so an angry rhino escapes,

0:20:54 > 0:20:57crushes a passing brass band, ever happening again?

0:20:57 > 0:20:59It's got to be one in ten at the most.

0:20:59 > 0:21:03- Even with that new zoo opening next door.- She's right.

0:21:03 > 0:21:08You have a glorious gift you must share with the world.

0:21:08 > 0:21:11Is he really that Elijah Wood? Good?

0:21:11 > 0:21:13I am. But I swore, remember?

0:21:13 > 0:21:14I'll never dance again.

0:21:14 > 0:21:17That's OK. You could teach Sally how to dance.

0:21:17 > 0:21:20You know, with some other bloke.

0:21:20 > 0:21:23We can't cancel now, we've sold hundreds of tickets.

0:21:23 > 0:21:26Jamie, if Lenny can teach me to dance, he can teach you too.

0:21:26 > 0:21:30But... We need a celebrity, like Darren.

0:21:30 > 0:21:33The only time I was on TV was on You've Been Framed

0:21:33 > 0:21:36when a swan bit my bum and I dropped my ice-cream.

0:21:36 > 0:21:40That's more than famous enough to be on Strictly Come Prancing!

0:21:40 > 0:21:43- I don't know, Sally. I'm not a big show off like you.- Fine.

0:21:43 > 0:21:45Shatter my dream.

0:21:46 > 0:21:50I'll just be a two left-footed clod hopper for the rest of my life!

0:21:52 > 0:21:54I'll never get to dance cheek to cheek

0:21:54 > 0:21:56with my favourite bellboy in the whole world!

0:21:56 > 0:21:59Oh, all right! I'll do it!

0:21:59 > 0:22:01- Yeah!- Yay!- Yeah!

0:22:01 > 0:22:05Right then, this is going to take a lot of training. Cue the music!

0:22:05 > 0:22:11# Now I've got you in my sights... #

0:22:11 > 0:22:14One, two, three, one, two, three...

0:22:14 > 0:22:17- Am I hurting you?- No-o-o-o-o-o!

0:22:17 > 0:22:19Arghh!

0:22:19 > 0:22:27# One look at you and I can't disguise I've got hungry eyes... #

0:22:27 > 0:22:29Oh, no, no, no.

0:22:29 > 0:22:31She looked angry. She looked angry.

0:22:31 > 0:22:35# I've got hungry eyes

0:22:36 > 0:22:40# Now I've got you in my sights... #

0:22:40 > 0:22:42That's it! That's it!

0:22:44 > 0:22:48Oh, you guys, I'm so proud, so proud!

0:22:48 > 0:22:50Here we are then, the big show!

0:22:50 > 0:22:53How did you manage to keep Dolly away?

0:22:53 > 0:22:56She's just...relaxing.

0:22:56 > 0:22:58In the spa.

0:22:58 > 0:23:00# Feeling hot, hot, hot! #

0:23:00 > 0:23:02Hello!

0:23:02 > 0:23:03Jamie! Lenny!

0:23:03 > 0:23:06The door's stuck!

0:23:06 > 0:23:09- Is she going to be OK? - Yeah, she'll be fine! We just need to

0:23:09 > 0:23:13keep her out of the way until the big ballroom extravaganza is over.

0:23:13 > 0:23:18When she sees what a success it is, she won't be angry. I hope.

0:23:18 > 0:23:22Oh, and if you guys get nervous, you can always borrow my lucky marbles!

0:23:22 > 0:23:26We don't need marbles. We're the best ballroom dancers to ever pasa doble!

0:23:26 > 0:23:29Please welcome to the floor

0:23:29 > 0:23:32Jamie and Sally!

0:24:08 > 0:24:11# Oh-what-wow He's the greatest dancer

0:24:11 > 0:24:13# Oh-what-wow

0:24:13 > 0:24:15# That I've ever seen

0:24:15 > 0:24:17# Oh-what-wow

0:24:17 > 0:24:19# He's the greatest dancer

0:24:19 > 0:24:22# Oh-what-wow... #

0:24:22 > 0:24:26Oh, I knew they'd be brilliant. And it's all thanks to my lucky marbles!

0:24:44 > 0:24:46Oh, Marlene!

0:24:46 > 0:24:50We're so, so, so, so sorry about what happened!

0:24:50 > 0:24:54Tonight was supposed to be a celebration of ballroom dancing.

0:24:54 > 0:24:58Sequins, the tan tights, the men with greasy hair

0:24:58 > 0:25:02holding flowers in their teeth, skidding on their knees.

0:25:02 > 0:25:04And you two have made it look...

0:25:04 > 0:25:07silly. I'm getting out of this weird hotel, back to EastEnders,

0:25:07 > 0:25:11where it's safer. I don't know what you taught those two, Lenny,

0:25:11 > 0:25:15but your feet are offensive weapons.

0:25:15 > 0:25:17Nil points!

0:25:17 > 0:25:18Oh. Right-oh.

0:25:18 > 0:25:21Hello, everybody!

0:25:21 > 0:25:24Hello, Dolly. About tonight...

0:25:24 > 0:25:29Oh, yeah. Look, I'm so sorry that I wasn't around to help run the hotel.

0:25:29 > 0:25:32I only went and got locked in the sauna!

0:25:32 > 0:25:35I was in there for eight hours!

0:25:35 > 0:25:38Had to drink my own sweat to survive.

0:25:38 > 0:25:40- Eurgh.- Mind you,

0:25:40 > 0:25:42my pores have never been so clean.

0:25:42 > 0:25:45But more importantly,

0:25:45 > 0:25:50I just had the strangest conversation with the zookeeper next door.

0:25:50 > 0:25:52Now, I need to know...

0:25:52 > 0:25:57Who is the owner of this sparkly left-footed shoe?

0:25:57 > 0:26:02Because he says he saw it come flying out of the ballroom window.

0:26:02 > 0:26:08And if it did come from here, then I will be very annoyed.

0:26:08 > 0:26:11Ask her.

0:26:11 > 0:26:12She's missing a Scooby.

0:26:12 > 0:26:15Scooby Doo?

0:26:15 > 0:26:17Shoe! It's shoe!

0:26:17 > 0:26:20She is missing a shoe, Dolly.

0:26:20 > 0:26:23But as you can see, she's wearing a left shoe.

0:26:23 > 0:26:26And that's a left shoe you've got in your hand.

0:26:26 > 0:26:28So they only way that could be Sally's shoe

0:26:28 > 0:26:31is if she had two left feet!

0:26:31 > 0:26:33And that would be ridiculous!

0:26:33 > 0:26:36Yeah!

0:26:36 > 0:26:40Ha ha! Ha ha ha! Oh, well, this can't be your shoe, then, can it?

0:26:40 > 0:26:42I'm just going to go and tell the zookeeper that

0:26:42 > 0:26:45I've no idea what he's talking about.

0:26:45 > 0:26:49Brass bands, zoo walls, hippos...

0:26:49 > 0:26:52He must have been making it all up to impress me!

0:26:52 > 0:26:55Aren't men silly?

0:26:55 > 0:26:58If they're not doing that, they're turning up at my hotel,

0:26:58 > 0:27:00declaring their undying love for me.

0:27:00 > 0:27:03You what? No chance!

0:27:03 > 0:27:05Come on, you.

0:27:08 > 0:27:10Sherbet Dab - cab!

0:27:14 > 0:27:17May I say, Sally,

0:27:17 > 0:27:22that's a lovely new receptionist's outfit you're wearing there.

0:27:25 > 0:27:28Well, I didn't get promoted to manager,

0:27:28 > 0:27:31but at least we're all back to normal.

0:27:31 > 0:27:33Hey...

0:27:33 > 0:27:36- who fancies a dance? - Ooh, I'll say!

0:27:36 > 0:27:38PHONE RINGS

0:27:38 > 0:27:42# Oh-what-wow! He's the greatest dancer... #

0:27:45 > 0:27:48Hello, Hotel Trubble.

0:27:48 > 0:27:50# Hotel Trubble forever

0:27:50 > 0:27:54# It's the pits and we know we're stuck

0:27:54 > 0:27:55# But we love it

0:27:55 > 0:27:58# Hotel Trubble forever

0:27:58 > 0:28:01# We're a team staying calm on and on

0:28:01 > 0:28:03# So the hotel survives

0:28:03 > 0:28:06# Trubble, trubble Keep the hotel alive! #