0:00:01 > 0:00:03Welcome to Hotel Trubble.
0:00:03 > 0:00:05Meet Sally, our receptionist.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08People! Trying to have a conversation here!
0:00:08 > 0:00:09And, this is Lenny.
0:00:09 > 0:00:11He's a man of many talents.
0:00:11 > 0:00:15- This is Dolly, she's Mr Trubble's... - HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:00:15 > 0:00:17..fiance.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20And, this is Mrs Poshington, the new cleaner.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22Which, just leaves me, Jamie...
0:00:22 > 0:00:24I'm the bell boy.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26# Hotel Trubble forever
0:00:26 > 0:00:29# It's the pits and we know
0:00:29 > 0:00:32# We're stuck but we love it
0:00:32 > 0:00:34# Hotel Trubble forever
0:00:34 > 0:00:37# We're a team staying calm Arm in arm
0:00:37 > 0:00:39# So the hotel survives
0:00:39 > 0:00:41# Trubble, Trubble
0:00:41 > 0:00:44# Keep the hotel alive. #
0:00:44 > 0:00:50Right, next on the agenda is Mrs Poshington.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52Ah, yeah, a bit delicate this.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Mrs Poshington?
0:00:54 > 0:00:58- Mrs P?- Allow me.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00Mrs Poshington! RUMBLING
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Hello?
0:01:02 > 0:01:05- SHOUTING:- We've had another complaint about you, Mrs Poshington.
0:01:05 > 0:01:06Sleeping on the job.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09Oh, Jamie, surely there's no harm in me
0:01:09 > 0:01:12taking a little nap in the guest beds.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Er, yes!
0:01:14 > 0:01:16With the guests still in them.
0:01:16 > 0:01:21# They long to be, close to you... #
0:01:21 > 0:01:24HE SCREAMS
0:01:25 > 0:01:28No wonder the hotel's doing so badly.
0:01:28 > 0:01:29Stop shouting, Jamie!
0:01:29 > 0:01:31This is the worst birthday party I've ever been to.
0:01:31 > 0:01:36- It's not a party, Lenny, it's a meeting.- Oh! Not again!
0:01:36 > 0:01:39Good job I brought my own cake though.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42# Happy birthday! Happy birthday! #
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Is that it, then, can we go?
0:01:46 > 0:01:51No! Next on the agenda is...Sally.
0:01:51 > 0:01:52Is this going to take long?
0:01:52 > 0:01:58Because there's a toilet in room 102 that has my name on it.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00LENNY GROANS
0:02:00 > 0:02:03Come on then, Jamie, spit it out.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05You know what I'm going to say, don't you, Sally?
0:02:05 > 0:02:10- Hmm... That you regret having such a flat, square head?- No!
0:02:10 > 0:02:14Hey! No, what I'm going to say, Sally, is you're a receptionist.
0:02:16 > 0:02:20- Start answering the phones instead of breaking them! - RUMBLING
0:02:20 > 0:02:22PHONE RINGS
0:02:25 > 0:02:27PHONE RINGS
0:02:27 > 0:02:28Here.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32PHONE RINGS
0:02:34 > 0:02:36Telephone! Telephone! Telephone!
0:02:36 > 0:02:39I don't know what you're talking about.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42PHONE RINGS
0:02:44 > 0:02:47SMASH!
0:02:47 > 0:02:50We really need to up our games, guys.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54Come up with new ideas to make the hotel really unique. You know?
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Any suggestions?
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Any serious suggestions?
0:03:01 > 0:03:04Sally, look, what I'm doing here.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Sally, look!
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Oh, oh...
0:03:08 > 0:03:10SMASH!
0:03:13 > 0:03:17You know, sometimes I feel like no-one even knows I exist.
0:03:17 > 0:03:21Do you ever get like that, Sally? Sally?
0:03:21 > 0:03:23- Sally?- Do what?
0:03:23 > 0:03:25LENNY SIGHS
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Sally, watch this.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Open!
0:03:32 > 0:03:33Open!
0:03:33 > 0:03:35Erm, what am I watching, exactly?
0:03:35 > 0:03:37You talking to the door?
0:03:37 > 0:03:40It's a new plan I have to renovate the hotel.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43It's just a few teething problems right now, that's all.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Let's try this one.
0:03:48 > 0:03:49Open.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52Open.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Open!
0:03:56 > 0:03:57Oh, come on!
0:03:57 > 0:03:59SHE LAUGHS
0:03:59 > 0:04:01Look, I told you, you see!
0:04:06 > 0:04:08AEROSOL HISSES
0:04:11 > 0:04:13- Told me, what?- That's better.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16That my voice-recognition technology would be a success.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19I downloaded it straight from the Internet,
0:04:19 > 0:04:21so it's bound to be reliable. Look!
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Call Mr Trubble.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35Call Mr Trubble!
0:04:35 > 0:04:36Call Trubbly Wubbly!
0:04:36 > 0:04:38CREAKING
0:04:39 > 0:04:42Oh, yeah, that door's always been a bit loose.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45Jamie, would you mind fixing that?
0:04:45 > 0:04:48I'm just going to go and speak to the lift.
0:04:48 > 0:04:53If I'm not back in an hour, would you call an ambulance.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56Well, she'll be gone for more than an hour,
0:04:56 > 0:04:58- we don't have a lift! - SHE LAUGHS
0:04:58 > 0:05:02Jamie, I've been thinking of some new ideas to make the hotel better.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Lenny, we don't pay you to think. Now, fix that door.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08JUNGLE CALLS
0:05:08 > 0:05:11I was thinking I could do some of my tricks.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14I've always told you I can lift 50 times my own bodyweight
0:05:14 > 0:05:16and run faster than the speed of light.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19Lenny, I've told you before - you've got to stop confusing
0:05:19 > 0:05:22things you've had a dream about with things you can actually do.
0:05:22 > 0:05:26You didn't invent a never-ending pencil, either.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Yes, I did, I can show it to you.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30No, I'm not interested in seeing that.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32I've got to show Sally something. Sally, come with me.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35Honestly, tell me, on a scale of one to ten,
0:05:35 > 0:05:38with one being the least boring and ten being the most boring,
0:05:38 > 0:05:41- how boring is this going to be? - To me, one.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43To you...
0:05:44 > 0:05:45..150.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Oh, better than expected.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Jamie, what have you done to the TV room?
0:05:50 > 0:05:52It's not the TV room any more.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56- It's the Palace of Stars! Behold! - FANFARE
0:05:56 > 0:06:00All the celebrity guests we've had staying at the hotel.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03Celebrities? He unblocked the drains.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Well, if you want to quibble.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08And this one says, "Thanks for a great stay at Hotel Trubble,
0:06:08 > 0:06:12"I hope your dentures don't cause you any more problems."
0:06:12 > 0:06:14It's an unusual message, sure.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16That was Mrs P's dentist.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Don't you see? Once people realise
0:06:18 > 0:06:21what a celebrity magnet we are, they'll come in droves!
0:06:21 > 0:06:26Action stations, everyone, stop what you're doing.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28We have a very important guest arriving.
0:06:28 > 0:06:32Ooh, is it the pest controller! At last.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35You know, that kitchen's got so many rats, chef's got them making jam.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38- NEW YORK ACCENT: - What sort of jam you making?
0:06:38 > 0:06:41Traffic jam, rat-face.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43THEY LAUGH
0:06:43 > 0:06:45No! I'm talking about...
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Ed Flaxman.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54WIND HOWLS
0:06:54 > 0:06:57BELL TOLLS
0:06:58 > 0:07:03He's only like the most famous news reporter of all time!
0:07:04 > 0:07:07Oh, dimwits! Anyway, he's here!
0:07:07 > 0:07:11- Guys, this is it!- What is?- Don't you see, if we can get him to put
0:07:11 > 0:07:13a story about the hotel in the news,
0:07:13 > 0:07:15everybody will want to stay here.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17We'll be inundated!
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Are you forgetting something?
0:07:19 > 0:07:20THIS is Hotel Trubble.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23Nothing newsworthy ever happens here.
0:07:23 > 0:07:28Nonsense! I'm going go to tell him about the Palace Of Stars.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30SALLY SIGHS
0:07:30 > 0:07:32BANG!
0:07:32 > 0:07:33GLASS SHATTERS
0:07:33 > 0:07:35SALLY LAUGHS
0:07:38 > 0:07:40SHOES SQUEAK
0:07:40 > 0:07:42CREAKING
0:07:42 > 0:07:44MAN CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:07:45 > 0:07:46Oh...
0:07:46 > 0:07:49Hello.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52Was I asleep in your bed?
0:07:52 > 0:07:55- LOUDLY:- I think so, yes.
0:07:55 > 0:07:56Ah...
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Perhaps you'd care to explain?
0:08:00 > 0:08:03Explain? Oh, ah.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05Yes, of course, explain.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08Well, you see...
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Here in Hotel Trubble,
0:08:12 > 0:08:20we pride ourselves in having the softest beds known to man.
0:08:20 > 0:08:26The only way to make sure they are the softest beds known to man,
0:08:26 > 0:08:33we have to put them to the test by sleeping in them all day,
0:08:33 > 0:08:35which I do very well.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38I see.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Well, in that case, thanks!
0:08:41 > 0:08:43That's exactly the level of service I need.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45Phew!
0:08:45 > 0:08:47You see, as you can probably tell from my face,
0:08:47 > 0:08:49I'm newscaster, Ed Flaxman.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52It's my responsibility to actually find the news.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56If I don't find any, there won't be any. It's as simple as that.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59That does sound very stressful.
0:08:59 > 0:09:04Is that why you're here, to find something exciting to go in the news?
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Absolutely not! No way!
0:09:06 > 0:09:09I'm here to relax, pure and simple.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12You see, I grew up in this town.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14I love this town.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16- Whatever it's called.- How lovely.
0:09:16 > 0:09:21- Unusual name for a town. - No, what I meant...
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Anyway, let me make one thing clear.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25If anything newsworthy happens
0:09:25 > 0:09:28while I'm staying here in How Lovely,
0:09:28 > 0:09:30I will absolutely blow my top.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32ELEPHANT TRUMPETING, RUMBLING
0:09:32 > 0:09:35PHONE EMITS A PULSING BEEP
0:09:37 > 0:09:39- Hello? - 'Hello!'
0:09:39 > 0:09:42Hello, Mr Trubble. It's Lenny here.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44INDISTINCT ANGRY SHOUTING
0:09:44 > 0:09:47Get someone more important to call you back.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51Yeah, OK. Bye.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Grow.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56Grow. It's hard to tell in this case.
0:09:56 > 0:10:02Not necessarily a failure, though. Perhaps I'll try something easier.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05Dolly, do you think I'm insignificant?
0:10:05 > 0:10:08Not now, Lenny, I'm talking to a chandelier.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10Light.
0:10:10 > 0:10:11Light.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13Light!
0:10:13 > 0:10:15It's like I'm not even here!
0:10:15 > 0:10:19- Mr Flaxman, can I just...- I thought I'd made myself perfectly clear.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22I'm not looking for anything to go on the news.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24I'm here on holiday. I'm trying to relax!
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Look, it's working!
0:10:26 > 0:10:28On! On!
0:10:28 > 0:10:30On!
0:10:30 > 0:10:32It doesn't look entirely safe.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35I'll just, er...
0:10:35 > 0:10:36Check the motherboard.
0:10:38 > 0:10:39Mr Flaxman...
0:10:39 > 0:10:42I've spent long enough in this weird hotel of yours.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44I'm here to relax and so far
0:10:44 > 0:10:47it's been the most stressful holiday of my entire life!
0:10:47 > 0:10:50That's not fair, you've only been here for 45 minutes.
0:10:50 > 0:10:55Enough! I don't want to see any of you ever, ever again!
0:10:55 > 0:10:57CHANDELIER RATTLES
0:10:57 > 0:11:06Nooooooooooo!
0:11:06 > 0:11:10MUSIC: "Theme from Superman" by John Williams
0:11:10 > 0:11:12GLASS SHATTERS
0:11:21 > 0:11:23You saved his life.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25How did you even get there in time?
0:11:25 > 0:11:28Faster than the speed of light, remember?
0:11:28 > 0:11:30I've not seen you before.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32- What's your name, son?- Er, Lenny.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35- Lenny what?- Lenny Lemon.- Oh...
0:11:35 > 0:11:39Stupid name. Almost sounds made up.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Still, I'm sure we can fix that.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43What do you mean, fix it?
0:11:43 > 0:11:44Let me think.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Mm, Leonard Citrus.
0:11:47 > 0:11:48That's it, perfect.
0:11:48 > 0:11:52Buckle up, Leonard, you're about to become very, very famous, indeed.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54I thought you came here to relax.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57When the news comes a calling, you've just got to answer.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00Breaking news, this lunchtime.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05Unbelievable act of superhuman heroism coming up.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Amazing story about to unfold.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11World exclusive right here.
0:12:12 > 0:12:13Here it comes.
0:12:14 > 0:12:15Hold your ears...
0:12:15 > 0:12:16It's here.
0:12:17 > 0:12:18Right now!
0:12:21 > 0:12:26I'm standing inside Hotel Trubble, where my life has just been saved
0:12:26 > 0:12:29by an amazing act of superhuman heroism.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31This man, Leonard Citrus...
0:12:34 > 0:12:37..has never done anything interesting in his entire life.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39Isn't that right, Leonard?
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Well, erm...
0:12:41 > 0:12:43- Come on, come on!- Yes.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46Until today, when he intervened to prevent a chandelier
0:12:46 > 0:12:48from falling on this perfect head.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51- Isn't that right, Leonard?- Yeah.
0:12:51 > 0:12:56Here's a computer reconstruction of exactly what happened as it happened.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58(COMPUTER) 'I am Ed Flaxman.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00'I am a chandelier.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02'I am Leonard Citrus.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05'Whoa! Watch out!'
0:13:05 > 0:13:07GLASS SHATTERS
0:13:07 > 0:13:10Amazing! What have you got to say, Leonard?
0:13:10 > 0:13:13Well, I'd just like to thank my mum...
0:13:13 > 0:13:17Exactly! That's all from me, back to you in the studio, Jane.
0:13:17 > 0:13:18Hi, Jane.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21- That's a great story, Lenny.- I know.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25Who'd have thought a dog could do an impression of Bruce Forsyth.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28Not that story! The one about you.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Oh, right, yeah. I suppose so.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33It reminds me of when I was on the news.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35- Why were you on the news? - Ah, well...
0:13:35 > 0:13:41It's best if I don't say any more about that. For legal reasons.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Oh, look, something dirty.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46Needs scrubbing.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50Why did Lenny get on the TV? Why not me?
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Because Lenny was doing something heroic,
0:13:52 > 0:13:54whereas you were applying your lip gloss.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57Well, if you're going to split hairs.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Lenny, you're going to be famous!
0:13:59 > 0:14:02More importantly, Hotel Trubble's going to be famous.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05You're really going to put this place on the map.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08- Isn't it already on the map? - No, it's just an expression.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11You know, like, "If the cap fits, wear it."
0:14:11 > 0:14:12OK.
0:14:14 > 0:14:15Never mind.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21- Can I help you? - Well, since you're offering.
0:14:21 > 0:14:25- Put me on the news.- I think not.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28- Are you following me?- Not exactly. - What exactly are you doing?
0:14:28 > 0:14:30Nothing, just going to follow
0:14:30 > 0:14:32you around a bit, let you see how interesting I am.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34You're weird.
0:14:35 > 0:14:39# You think I'm psycho, don't you, Mama? #
0:14:40 > 0:14:41Oh!
0:14:41 > 0:14:44# Mama, pour me a cup
0:14:44 > 0:14:48# You think I'm psycho, don't you, Mama?
0:14:50 > 0:14:52# You better let them lock me up. #
0:15:01 > 0:15:02Ah!
0:15:02 > 0:15:04There you are, you naughty boy!
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Please, just leave me alone, you creepy woman.
0:15:07 > 0:15:11Not until you put me on the news.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16Please, please...
0:15:16 > 0:15:20Please, please, please... (Please put me on the news.)
0:15:20 > 0:15:21Argh!
0:15:22 > 0:15:24The fastest way to fame,
0:15:24 > 0:15:27fortune and success is to flog your heroic story in a book.
0:15:27 > 0:15:31Oh, I don't know. Dolly once asked me to write a note for the milkman.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33It took me two-and-a-half weeks!
0:15:33 > 0:15:36Don't worry, we'll get a ghost writer to write it.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40A ghost writer? But won't the keyboard go through its fingers?
0:15:40 > 0:15:45No, a ghost writer is just a normal writer who does all the hard work so
0:15:45 > 0:15:47famous people don't have to.
0:15:47 > 0:15:48So, what do I do?
0:15:48 > 0:15:52Nothing. You just...be you.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55I thought me being me was something not many people were interested in.
0:15:55 > 0:15:56Nonsense!
0:15:56 > 0:15:59I've always said you're a very special young man.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02No, you haven't! You once told me I was the human equivalent of a sock.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Warm, but empty.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13Remember, just stick to the speech and try not to say anything weird
0:16:13 > 0:16:17about the Queen's secret weasel farm or dung beetles living on Mars.
0:16:21 > 0:16:26Hello, everyone. Thanks for coming to the launch of my book.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29I'd just like to make a quick confession that
0:16:29 > 0:16:31I didn't actually write the book.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34A ghost wrote it for me.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36I know, I was amazed as well.
0:16:36 > 0:16:41I thought his hands would go straight through the keys, but they didn't.
0:16:41 > 0:16:45Oh, I know. I could show you all my never-ending pencil.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50- Lenny.- Lenny, can I have your autograph, please?
0:16:51 > 0:16:53I can't believe it, Lenny -
0:16:53 > 0:16:56everyone's obsessed with your never-ending pencil.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59- Why didn't you tell me about this before?- I did tell you.- Sorry...
0:16:59 > 0:17:02You wait till Mr Trubble finds out about this.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05This is the busiest we've been in ages.
0:17:05 > 0:17:06Clever old me.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09Er, aren't these people here to see me?
0:17:09 > 0:17:13Yeah, of course, yeah. Anyway, I've organised a treat for you.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Custard cream sandwiches.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17That sounds lovely,
0:17:17 > 0:17:19but I can't.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22Mr Flaxman says he's going to take me out for dinner and we're going to
0:17:22 > 0:17:25do an exclusive feature interview and that I can have three courses.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28- Whatever that means.- Oh, brilliant.
0:17:28 > 0:17:32Ed thinks my never-ending pencil is something else.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Look!
0:17:37 > 0:17:40I've only ever been to one restaurant before.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Maybe I should come with you.
0:17:42 > 0:17:46Just to make sure you don't confuse the fork for half a spider again.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49- Ready, Leonard?- Oh, yeah, ready, Ed.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51- See you later, Jamie. - Yeah, see you later, Jimmy.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Jamie. Maybe I could...
0:17:53 > 0:17:57- Sorry, can't stop and chat, table's booked for seven.- Oh!
0:17:58 > 0:18:01Have a great time!
0:18:01 > 0:18:04- Remember it all started... - GLASS SHATTERS
0:18:04 > 0:18:06..Hotel Trubble.
0:18:12 > 0:18:16It says here that Lenny enjoys slow cooking
0:18:16 > 0:18:20and the poems of William Wordsworth. Who knew that?
0:18:20 > 0:18:25Where is Lenny? He was supposed to be here half an hour ago!
0:18:25 > 0:18:27I know he's a big star and everything, but...
0:18:27 > 0:18:30There's still a bunch of menial tasks with his name on them.
0:18:30 > 0:18:34Apparently, his favourite food is halibut.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Do you know, I'm learning so much.
0:18:36 > 0:18:37It's not like him.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39I don't see what the problem is.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42Lenny gets rich and famous and the hotel benefits.
0:18:42 > 0:18:43It's all good, isn't it?
0:18:44 > 0:18:45SMASHING
0:18:47 > 0:18:48- Hey, dudes.- Hey.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Lenny, what are you wearing?
0:18:51 > 0:18:53These are the latest celebrity clothes.
0:18:53 > 0:18:58In fact, this outfit is a hand-me-down from Justin Bieber.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01Celebrity... What are you talking about?
0:19:01 > 0:19:05I opened three jumble sales this morning, AND an envelope.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07Well, you should have been here working.
0:19:07 > 0:19:11Work, no way. Ed reckons I don't have to work another day in my life.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14So, I quit.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17- What?- That's right, Jimmy. - Jamie.- Whatever...
0:19:17 > 0:19:18Oh, you...
0:19:18 > 0:19:20You are funny, Lenny.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25Now, come on, get back to work.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28It's not a joke. He's got bigger fish to fry.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Salmon, haddock, mackerel.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33About that size, just big fish.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35It's just an expression!
0:19:35 > 0:19:37- Oh, right.- But you can't leave!
0:19:37 > 0:19:40We need you at the hotel.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42I said I was quitting, I didn't say I was leaving.
0:19:42 > 0:19:47Dolly, hand me the keys to the penthouse suite. I'm moving in.
0:19:48 > 0:19:53# When will I, will I be famous? #
0:19:53 > 0:19:55PHONE RINGS
0:19:56 > 0:19:58Sally, what are you doing?
0:19:58 > 0:20:00It's not fair, Jamie!
0:20:00 > 0:20:05I was the one that was meant to be famous, not Lenny.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Where's my cardboard cut-out?
0:20:07 > 0:20:09If you ever manage to save somebody's life,
0:20:09 > 0:20:11you'll get a cardboard cut-out too.
0:20:11 > 0:20:12But, until that time...
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Yes, I've got it!
0:20:14 > 0:20:16I just need to save his life.
0:20:16 > 0:20:20# Think I'm psycho, don't you, Mama... #
0:20:20 > 0:20:22What, whose life?
0:20:22 > 0:20:25- Thanks, Jamie, I could almost kiss you.- OK.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29I said, "Almost."
0:20:29 > 0:20:32# I think we're alone now
0:20:32 > 0:20:36# There doesn't seem to be anyone around
0:20:36 > 0:20:39# I think we're alone now
0:20:39 > 0:20:43# The beating of our hearts is the only sound... #
0:20:45 > 0:20:47What are you doing?!
0:20:47 > 0:20:50You stopped breathing, I'm saving your life!
0:20:50 > 0:20:51I was asleep!
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Save your breath, Mr Flaxman, I'll give you mouth-to-mouth.
0:20:57 > 0:20:58MUFFLED SHOUTS
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Get off me!
0:21:00 > 0:21:03Right, that's it. I'm calling the police.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07You've broken my ribs.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13What's that? You'd like to cancel?
0:21:13 > 0:21:17Oh, you'd rather sleep naked on the top of Mount Etna.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Well, your loss!
0:21:19 > 0:21:22That's the third cancellation we've had today.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25- No-one wants to stay in the same hotel as Lenny.- I don't blame them.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28Ever since he moved in here, it's been a nightmare.
0:21:28 > 0:21:32It's like he thinks he's... Dizzie Osborne.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35Or, even worse, that... Ozzy Rascal.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40I see what you mean.
0:21:40 > 0:21:41What's that?
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Room service for Lenny.
0:21:43 > 0:21:48- He wants a basketful of puppies at room temperature.- What?
0:21:48 > 0:21:51That's not the half of it.
0:21:51 > 0:21:55The first thing he wanted was a bowl of M&Ms
0:21:55 > 0:21:57with the brown ones taken out.
0:21:57 > 0:22:01Then it was play dough and a boa constrictor,
0:22:01 > 0:22:0612 leafy plants, 24 small towels and a boom box.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09And, then he wanted me to shave his back.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12Right! That's it, this has to stop.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14I'm going up there.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18Nothing... Nothing is going to stand in my way.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28MUSIC: "In Da Club" By 50 Cent
0:22:33 > 0:22:36Ride 'em, cowboy. Yee-ha!
0:22:36 > 0:22:38Lenny, I'd like a word.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Whoa, whoa, wait a sec!
0:22:40 > 0:22:42What have you done to this room?
0:22:42 > 0:22:44Yeah, do you like it? I've Lennied it.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Lenny, what's happened to you?
0:22:47 > 0:22:49You can't just do as you please, people are cancelling
0:22:49 > 0:22:50left, right and centre.
0:22:50 > 0:22:54Oh, is that the time? Sorry, Jamie, I'll have to ask you to leave,
0:22:54 > 0:22:57Piers Morgan's due any minute to do a live interview on me.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00He specifically requested no bell-boys in the background.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02(That means you.)
0:23:02 > 0:23:04- Right! - MUSIC STOPS
0:23:04 > 0:23:06- What are you doing?!- I've had enough.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09It's either you or me, Lenny.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12This hotel isn't big enough for the both of us.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14Fine...
0:23:14 > 0:23:17MUSIC: Theme from The Good, The Bad And The Ugly
0:23:40 > 0:23:43SHOTS FIRED
0:23:43 > 0:23:47All right, Jamie, I give up. I'm leaving.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50- Jamie.- Lenny.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53- It's been nice working with you. - So, what are you going to do?
0:23:53 > 0:23:55Well, Ed thinks there's enough
0:23:55 > 0:23:58interest in my never-ending pencil to take it out on tour.
0:23:58 > 0:24:02What, like stadiums and stuff?
0:24:02 > 0:24:06- With a pencil? It doesn't even make sense.- It doesn't make sense.
0:24:06 > 0:24:07Well, we'll start with
0:24:07 > 0:24:10the local old people's homes and then take it from there.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12Goodbye.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Are you all right, Jamie?
0:24:23 > 0:24:26This day can't get any worse.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28PHONE RINGS
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Hello, Hotel Trubble.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36- 'Jamie...'- Sally. Where are you?
0:24:36 > 0:24:38'I'm sort of in prison.'
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Oh, no!
0:24:42 > 0:24:45Bong! Breaking news this lunchtime...
0:24:45 > 0:24:50Bong! Relaxing holiday ruined by raving lunatic. Bong!
0:24:50 > 0:24:53Bum-faced bumwit responsible for probably the worst holiday
0:24:53 > 0:24:55of all time. Bong!
0:24:55 > 0:24:59It's not that bad, at least they didn't mention the hotel.
0:24:59 > 0:25:00And all of this took place
0:25:00 > 0:25:03in probably the worst hotel I've ever stayed at.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Hotel Trubble.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08Well, at least they didn't give away the address.
0:25:08 > 0:25:13Hotel Trubble, 171 The High Street.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15171 The High... TURNS TV OFF
0:25:15 > 0:25:18Oh, crumpets.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Sally... why were you in that police car?
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Because I've been jailed, Lenny.
0:25:28 > 0:25:29If you hadn't got famous,
0:25:29 > 0:25:32it would never have occurred to me to get famous.
0:25:32 > 0:25:36and I wouldn't have broken Mr Flaxman's ribs trying to save him.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41No, what are you doing?
0:25:43 > 0:25:46Oh, is your pencil broken? Aw...
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Oh, my never-ending pencil.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02Lenny...
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Can I have my job back, please?
0:26:04 > 0:26:08But I thought you were tired of feeling ignored.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11I was, but... I was wrong.
0:26:11 > 0:26:12I want to stay at Hotel Trubble.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14It's my home.
0:26:14 > 0:26:19Plus, Sally broke the never-ending pencil, so I guess the tour's off.
0:26:19 > 0:26:20Well, in that case then,
0:26:20 > 0:26:24why don't you get your uniform back on and get back to work?
0:26:24 > 0:26:27Shall I start with unblocking the men's toilets?
0:26:27 > 0:26:30Oh, no. Your talents have been severely underestimated, Lenny.
0:26:30 > 0:26:34I've got a much bigger and better job for you to do.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39OK, Jamie, where do you want me to begin?
0:26:39 > 0:26:42Right, Lenny, Dolly wants you to start with the door.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46Oh, right, all right. Here goes.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48And, open!
0:26:52 > 0:26:53Right...
0:26:53 > 0:26:55Now...
0:26:55 > 0:26:57The plant.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00Erm, grow!
0:27:00 > 0:27:03And, finally, light!
0:27:03 > 0:27:05Hey, hey!
0:27:05 > 0:27:08You see, just a small problem with the electrics.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11Well done, Lenny. It's good to have you back.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13I just hope none of us has any run in with the news again.
0:27:13 > 0:27:17Jamie, don't thank me but I just might have
0:27:17 > 0:27:20the answer to your prayers.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25"The day I woke up in Ed Flaxman's bed."
0:27:25 > 0:27:27Mrs P, you sold your story to the papers.
0:27:27 > 0:27:30You cheeky devil, you.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32To be honest, this isn't really what I had in mind.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34In fact, we'll be lucky if we don't have Ed Flaxman's
0:27:34 > 0:27:35lawyers on the phone.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37PHONE RINGS
0:27:38 > 0:27:42Sally... See who it is.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44Hello, Hotel Trubble.
0:27:44 > 0:27:45MUFFLED SHOUTING
0:27:52 > 0:27:54# Hotel Trubble forever
0:27:54 > 0:27:59# It's the pits and we know we're stuck, but we love it
0:27:59 > 0:28:02# Hotel Trubble forever
0:28:02 > 0:28:07# We're a team staying calm, arm in arm, so the hotel survives
0:28:07 > 0:28:10# Trubble, trubble Keep the hotel alive! #
0:28:10 > 0:28:12E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk