0:00:02 > 0:00:05Welcome to Hotel Trubble. Meet Sally, our receptionist.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08People trying to have a conversation here!
0:00:08 > 0:00:12And this is Lenny. He's a man of many talents.
0:00:12 > 0:00:17This is Dolly. She's Mr Trubble's...fiancee.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20And this is Mrs Poshington, the new cleaner.
0:00:20 > 0:00:24Which just leaves me - Jamie. I'm the bellboy.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26# Hotel Trubble forever
0:00:26 > 0:00:29# It's the pits and we know
0:00:29 > 0:00:32# We're stuck but we love it
0:00:32 > 0:00:34# Hotel Trubble forever
0:00:34 > 0:00:37# We're a team staying calm Arm in arm
0:00:37 > 0:00:39# So the hotel survives
0:00:39 > 0:00:41# Trubble, Trubble
0:00:41 > 0:00:44# Keep the hotel alive. #
0:00:46 > 0:00:48- Bye now.- Come again soon.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50We've really enjoyed your company.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Thank goodness that bevy of tedious dribblewits is gone.
0:00:54 > 0:00:55I thought they'd never leave.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58That's the last time we host the wacky inventors' trade fair.
0:00:58 > 0:01:02A guy in room 506 told me he invented a time machine!
0:01:02 > 0:01:04Imagine if he had.
0:01:04 > 0:01:08Just think where you could go with all of time as your playground.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12Yeah... I'd zip 30 years forward into the future
0:01:12 > 0:01:15when I'd absolutely definitely be manager of the hotel.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Why am I still a bellboy?!
0:01:20 > 0:01:22If you work hard for another 30 years,
0:01:22 > 0:01:24you might well be the manager.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27There must be some mistake.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29I should definitely be manager by now.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31HEL-L-LP!
0:01:31 > 0:01:33How about another 30 years?
0:01:34 > 0:01:37Why aren't I the manager?!
0:01:37 > 0:01:40You're fired! And you're dead!
0:01:40 > 0:01:43OUCH!
0:01:43 > 0:01:47I thought they were great. Look what I bought.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49It's a stopped watch.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52Oh, Jamie, I'm not an idiot. Why would I buy a stopped watch?
0:01:52 > 0:01:55It's a watch powered by fear.
0:01:55 > 0:01:56But it isn't working.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Cos I'm not frightened!
0:01:58 > 0:02:00- Boo! - TICKING
0:02:00 > 0:02:02I can't believe you were silly enough
0:02:02 > 0:02:05to buy anything so ridiculous from those loonbags
0:02:05 > 0:02:09when you could get your hands on this echo megaphone.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11ECHOING: Hello!
0:02:11 > 0:02:12- HIGH PITCHED:- Hello.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14Is it meant to make your voice go high pitched?
0:02:14 > 0:02:17ECHOING: Hello!
0:02:17 > 0:02:18Yes?
0:02:18 > 0:02:21I heard you the first time.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23I thought it was...
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Never mind. CRASHING
0:02:26 > 0:02:29I'll clean that up, shall I?
0:02:29 > 0:02:32Hmm... Don't mind me.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36I think you're both idiots. Can't you both see you've been done?!
0:02:36 > 0:02:38- WOMAN:- You tell them, honey.
0:02:38 > 0:02:39Hang on...who said that?!
0:02:39 > 0:02:44- Said what?- Nobody appreciates Daisy round here.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46And she's so fabulous!
0:02:46 > 0:02:49What is that?!
0:02:49 > 0:02:50If you must know,
0:02:50 > 0:02:55it's an artificially-intelligent speaking sock puppet.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Daisy, you call US idiots?!
0:02:57 > 0:03:00You bought a talking computerised sock puppet?!
0:03:00 > 0:03:05I like it and it empowers me with girlish conversation.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08I love your shoes. Where did you get them?
0:03:08 > 0:03:13Just an exclusive, out-of-the-way...charity shop.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17You're so clever to look there. Do they do handbags?
0:03:17 > 0:03:19I'd just love it if they did handbags.
0:03:19 > 0:03:23Hey! We saw that!
0:03:23 > 0:03:27Anyway, we need to get the hotel ready ASAP.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29We have another block booking arriving later today.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30Who is it this time?
0:03:30 > 0:03:34The National Society of Historical Re-enactors.
0:03:34 > 0:03:35The ones that like to dress up
0:03:35 > 0:03:38and pretend they're from different times in history...
0:03:38 > 0:03:41HE SOBS
0:03:41 > 0:03:45BENNY HILL THEME PLAYS
0:03:52 > 0:03:53Why's he shrieking?
0:03:53 > 0:03:55It's nothing.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57Why did you let them back after last year?
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Why?! Why?! Why...
0:04:00 > 0:04:02They weren't that bad.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06How long do we have to do this for?
0:04:06 > 0:04:10They like to do things in real time so probably not long.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14How many years did the Ice Age last?
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Ohh...
0:04:16 > 0:04:19There, there. I know, I know.
0:04:19 > 0:04:23But they book 40 rooms each year. It's good for business.
0:04:23 > 0:04:24What are they re-enacting?
0:04:24 > 0:04:26I don't know yet,
0:04:26 > 0:04:29but if you see anyone dressed in historical costume, be nice.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Because they're the historical re-enactors.
0:04:32 > 0:04:37Lenny, they won't be actual people from the past.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40OK, let's get to it. Lenny, can you empty the bins in room 311?
0:04:40 > 0:04:43I don't know but I'll try, Jamie.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Good lad.
0:04:48 > 0:04:52Empty the bins. Come on, you can do this.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58Room 506? What was it Jamie said?
0:04:58 > 0:05:03ECHOING: 'The guy in room 506 even told me he invented a time machine.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06'The guy in room 506 even told me he invented a time machine.'
0:05:06 > 0:05:10Yeah. It's working now. You just have to switch it on here.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Duh!
0:05:20 > 0:05:24Time machine?! It's about as likely as a watch powered by fear.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26TICKING
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Oh, a watch powered by fear!
0:05:30 > 0:05:33The time machine!
0:05:45 > 0:05:48Wow! It's real.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50The past, the future,
0:05:50 > 0:05:57all the secret wonders of the galaxy are mine to discover.
0:05:57 > 0:05:58HE CACKLES
0:05:58 > 0:06:01Right after I've emptied the bins in room 311.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03LOUD RUMBLING
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Ha-ha!
0:06:13 > 0:06:19I've discovered a whole new wing of my palace which is already enormous.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21Which makes me the best.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23I shall use it as a jail
0:06:23 > 0:06:27for all those ladies that I liked and then went off.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30Which is basically all the ladies!
0:06:30 > 0:06:33HORN BLOWS
0:06:33 > 0:06:35TICKING
0:06:44 > 0:06:46HE LAUGHS
0:06:46 > 0:06:50Ha-ha! Who is this numpty?!
0:06:57 > 0:07:01No... No.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09(Sorry.)
0:07:10 > 0:07:13You must be the new court jester.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15No, I'm not a court jester.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17I am the hotel porter.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19I don't care who you are!
0:07:19 > 0:07:22I can call you Grinnigog The Cat's Uncle, if I want to.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25I am King Henry VIII, by the grace of God,
0:07:25 > 0:07:29King of England, France and Ireland, defender of the faith, supreme head
0:07:29 > 0:07:32of the Church of England, and a jolly good dancer to boot.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34ACCORDION PLAYS
0:07:38 > 0:07:41- Huh? Pretty good.- Pardon?
0:07:41 > 0:07:43Basically, I own you now.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46You're to do what I say or it's off with your head!
0:07:46 > 0:07:50Well, Jamie's sort of my boss already
0:07:50 > 0:07:53- plus I'm using my head at the minute, so...- Oh, fine, fine.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56- I understand.- Oh, phew! Thank goodness.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59- I'm a reasonable man. - Oh, great.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01If you don't want to be beheaded,
0:08:01 > 0:08:04how do you fancy being burnt at the stake?!
0:08:05 > 0:08:06What can I do for you?
0:08:06 > 0:08:10First task, Grinnigog, get me a feast fit for a king!
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Erm, oh...
0:08:13 > 0:08:17You can order something off our room service menu.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19We've got the...
0:08:22 > 0:08:23Agh!
0:08:23 > 0:08:24Don't try and fob me off
0:08:24 > 0:08:27with some cardboard nonsense I can't understand!
0:08:27 > 0:08:31Get me a proper feast, go on! Do it now! Get it now!
0:08:31 > 0:08:33- I'm going!- A real massive feast.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36Go on! Get me food! Go on!
0:08:36 > 0:08:37I'm going!
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Agh-ha-ha!
0:08:39 > 0:08:42HE SHOUTS
0:08:49 > 0:08:50Hmm?
0:08:52 > 0:08:54Ooh. Chintzy.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03THEY LAUGH
0:09:03 > 0:09:06- You're so funny.- No, no.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09You're the one who's funny. I love that joke
0:09:09 > 0:09:11about you stealing an elephant
0:09:11 > 0:09:14and posting the real receptionist to Guatemala!
0:09:14 > 0:09:17No... No, I did actually do that.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Oh, wow. That must have been so hard for you.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22It was...
0:09:23 > 0:09:25It still is!
0:09:25 > 0:09:29It's so tough keeping Trunky in peanuts and current buns.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32- And then there's the dung.- Oh... - So much dung.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34And hosing him down.
0:09:34 > 0:09:38And there's nobody I can talk to and I'm on the run from the police.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42And Sally keeps ringing from Guatemala and threatening revenge.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44PHONE RINGS
0:09:44 > 0:09:46HIGH-PITCHED VOICE TWITTERS
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Yeah, that was her.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51And what did Jamie and Lenny say about all this?
0:09:51 > 0:09:53They must be very understanding.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56Oh, they don't know anything about it.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58I knew it! Typical men.
0:09:58 > 0:09:59They treat you like dirt.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01What do you think I should do?
0:10:01 > 0:10:03You should have some pride.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Yes.
0:10:05 > 0:10:06You should stand tall.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Yes!
0:10:08 > 0:10:10- You should shout, "I'm a woman!" - I am a woman!
0:10:10 > 0:10:12And you should smash that vase.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16- Smash the...?- Just do it.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Oh, yeah.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30A-A-ARGH!
0:10:31 > 0:10:33A-a-argh!
0:10:33 > 0:10:34A-a-argh!
0:10:34 > 0:10:37HE SHOUTS AND ROARS
0:10:39 > 0:10:41What is this?
0:10:42 > 0:10:43It's a cheese sandwich.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46I don't know what those words mean!
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Eugh! I hate it.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55- I knew I should have gone with pickle.- Oh, I'm not nearly full.
0:10:55 > 0:10:59Do you know how much work it takes to maintain this gorgeous frame?
0:10:59 > 0:11:02- No...- No, you don't! So I'll tell you what I want.
0:11:02 > 0:11:0625 chickens, ten roasted, ten boiled
0:11:06 > 0:11:09and five running around clucking, with their heads still on.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12And two hog roast pigs, called Simon and Richard,
0:11:12 > 0:11:14who knew each other when they were alive.
0:11:14 > 0:11:18Simon and Richard. Right away, your kingliness.
0:11:19 > 0:11:23I despise him. Might chop his head off just for fun.
0:11:23 > 0:11:24Ha-ha!
0:11:28 > 0:11:32This massive biscuit is clearly over-baked.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35Ah, Lenny. Just the man I'm looking for.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Jamie, I'm a bit busy now so you'll have to...
0:11:37 > 0:11:38There you are.
0:11:38 > 0:11:42I need someone to put all the towels in ascending order of guest size.
0:11:42 > 0:11:46So it goes petite, dinky, diminutive,
0:11:46 > 0:11:50fun-size, short, shortish...
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Right, I'll just get on...
0:11:52 > 0:11:58Average, above average, tallish, tall, lanky, bean pole, giant,
0:11:58 > 0:12:01enormous, gargantuan,...
0:12:03 > 0:12:04- Yes?- That's it.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07Oh, Jamie, this is going to take me ages.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09I've got to be court jester for Henry VIII,
0:12:09 > 0:12:11who's just turned up in room 506.
0:12:11 > 0:12:15Look, I told you already, it isn't the real Henry VIII.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17It'll be a historical re-enactor.
0:12:17 > 0:12:18That's what I thought
0:12:18 > 0:12:23but it turns out...there's a real time machine in room 506.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26Look, if there's one thing I've learned in all my years
0:12:26 > 0:12:29working as a hotel bell boy, it's that time exists in discreet,
0:12:29 > 0:12:32non-linear blocks which are unimpregnable
0:12:32 > 0:12:35and therefore non-manipulable,
0:12:35 > 0:12:40making the possibility of time travel completely non-existent
0:12:40 > 0:12:41and ultimately untenable.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44Now pass me one of those enormous size towels
0:12:44 > 0:12:47so I can take it up to pretend Henry VIII.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Actually, better make it gargantuan.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00Eugh...
0:13:13 > 0:13:18The doctor here. Do not eat soap, shampoo, or tissues.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21Now get back to your silly programme.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Cooey! Cleaner!
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Mary Queen of Yucksville!
0:13:26 > 0:13:30- What sort of horsehide harridan are you?!- Oh, dear.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33You must be one of those historical re-enactors.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Mmm.
0:13:35 > 0:13:40- Weren't you Friar Tuck last year? - You are mistaken, old crone!
0:13:40 > 0:13:46I am Henry, by the grace of God, King of England, France and Ireland,
0:13:46 > 0:13:50defender of the faith, supreme leader of the Church of England
0:13:50 > 0:13:52and a devilishly good juggler.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54ACCORDION PLAYS
0:13:58 > 0:14:00We get all sorts here.
0:14:00 > 0:14:04We once had a man who thought he was a bunch of bananas,
0:14:04 > 0:14:07so nothing surprises me.
0:14:08 > 0:14:09Hmm.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12I quite like this lady, after all.
0:14:12 > 0:14:16She has vim. Methinks I shall make her my wife.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Your lute, Your Majesty.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24Lovely, crinkly old lady. May I be so bold as to ask your name?
0:14:24 > 0:14:26It's Mrs Poshington.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Ah, Mrs.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31What a lovely name. Do you know,
0:14:31 > 0:14:33I am an accomplished musician.
0:14:33 > 0:14:37I wrote a song called Greensleeves, for a friend of mine,
0:14:37 > 0:14:41so he could have something to listen to while he sells ice creams.
0:14:41 > 0:14:46- Now, I shall write a song for you! - Oh, no, I can't stop here.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48I've got toilets to clean.
0:14:48 > 0:14:49The toilets can wait.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53# Hey, nonny-non, Mrs Poshington
0:14:53 > 0:14:56# You're quite the oldest lady I've ever seen... #
0:14:56 > 0:14:58FANCY LUTE SOLO
0:14:58 > 0:15:03# Most of the women I know barely make it to 30 - or 35.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06# How come you're so old and still alive?
0:15:06 > 0:15:09# And you don't have black teeth like mine?
0:15:09 > 0:15:11INSECT BUZZING
0:15:11 > 0:15:15Oh, Henry. I think I may have misjudged you.
0:15:17 > 0:15:18(Works every time.)
0:15:22 > 0:15:23Hello?
0:15:25 > 0:15:26There's nobody here.
0:15:27 > 0:15:28FANTASY MUSIC
0:15:32 > 0:15:35It's not a time machine. It's a door. Puh.
0:15:41 > 0:15:42Hmm.
0:15:48 > 0:15:52FUTURISTIC DRONE
0:15:55 > 0:15:56Argh!
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Urgh!
0:16:07 > 0:16:09The Normans are coming! Run!
0:16:09 > 0:16:11But hang on! What time is it?
0:16:11 > 0:16:153.15 on Thursday, 26 April, the Year of Our Lord, 1066.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19- Very informative. - You look like you need to know.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22Now, run! William the Conqueror will be here any minute!
0:16:22 > 0:16:27- Is this Hotel Trubble? - No, this is Ye Olde Hotel Trubble.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30Of course! I've travelled back in time.
0:16:30 > 0:16:34What's William the Conqueror doing at Ye Olde Hotel Trubble?
0:16:34 > 0:16:37- Weekend mini-break? It's hard for him to unwind.- Argh!
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Run!
0:16:43 > 0:16:45Argh! They're coming!!
0:16:45 > 0:16:46Run!!
0:16:46 > 0:16:52Ah! Ah! The towel. Put the towel on your head!
0:16:58 > 0:17:00VOICE ON TV
0:17:02 > 0:17:03Pfft! Pfft!
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Pfft! Oh!
0:17:07 > 0:17:09Don't get me wrong.
0:17:09 > 0:17:14- I love you, but your cooking is awful!- You are eating potpourri.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17As you've made it with your own crumbly hand,
0:17:17 > 0:17:19I shall force it down! Ha!
0:17:20 > 0:17:21Mmm!
0:17:21 > 0:17:22Delicious.
0:17:22 > 0:17:26Do not eat potpourri. It's really bad for you.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29I'm so glad you've agreed to marry me.
0:17:29 > 0:17:33You're not put off by the whole six wives, and two having been,
0:17:33 > 0:17:36- you know, beheaded?- No-ho-ho!
0:17:36 > 0:17:38I've had eight husbands
0:17:38 > 0:17:42and they all died in suspicious circumstances.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45In that case, I'll see you here at six of the clock.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48Six of the clock. Perfect. Toodle-pip!
0:17:52 > 0:17:53Pfft! Pfft!
0:17:59 > 0:18:02Do not eat remote controls or other household items.
0:18:02 > 0:18:03I told you before.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08Now, then, are you dinky or petite?
0:18:09 > 0:18:11That's a pretty one.
0:18:14 > 0:18:15Oh!! Oh, Mrs P!
0:18:15 > 0:18:17What? Oh, sorry, Lenny.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19I've got a wedding to organise.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Whoops! Excuse me!
0:18:25 > 0:18:29- Hey, you must...- How dare you disturb the King of All England?!
0:18:29 > 0:18:31The what of all what what?
0:18:32 > 0:18:37I am Henry, by the grace of God, King of England, France and Ireland,
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Defender of the Faith, Supreme Head of the Church of England...
0:18:40 > 0:18:43And I am Dolly, girlfriend of Mr Trubble -
0:18:43 > 0:18:47the proprietor of this hotel and many others
0:18:47 > 0:18:50in the exclusive Hotel Trubble chain.
0:18:50 > 0:18:55I am the Maker of the Breakfasts and the former Miss Midlands, 1989.
0:18:55 > 0:18:59Hmm. I quite like this lady, too. She has brio.
0:18:59 > 0:19:03She is also ancient, but only half as ancient as the other one.
0:19:03 > 0:19:06Methinks I might make her my wife. Dolly Girlfriend,
0:19:06 > 0:19:10I am a very accomplished musician. Do you know Greensleeves?
0:19:10 > 0:19:15No, I stopped listening to pop music when the Spice Girls split up.
0:19:15 > 0:19:19Never mind, I shall play a song I've written especially for you.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21FANCY LUTE INTRO
0:19:21 > 0:19:24# Dolly, hey, nonny-nonny
0:19:24 > 0:19:27# You remind me of my second wife Anne Boleyn
0:19:27 > 0:19:31# Although you have a much goofier grin
0:19:31 > 0:19:34# And a less execution-justifying personality... #
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Henry.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39You are twice the man Trubbley-Wubbley is.
0:19:39 > 0:19:44- Do you want to get married?- Yes! He's dead to me now!- Tonight.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47- Six of the clock. - Six of the clock is fine by me!
0:19:47 > 0:19:51- I'll just go and get changed! - Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm.
0:19:51 > 0:19:54You are a most excellent wingman.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56PLAYS LUTE CHORDS
0:19:56 > 0:19:59We have to show Jamie and Lenny
0:19:59 > 0:20:03- that we won't let them walk on us any more.- But they don't.
0:20:03 > 0:20:08- They're men, aren't they?- What's your problem with men?- My father.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11- Your father?- Yes, he hated me.
0:20:11 > 0:20:16He always wanted a string puppet. A sock puppet wasn't good enough.
0:20:17 > 0:20:21- No, that's not true, Samantha. - Who said that?
0:20:21 > 0:20:22It was me.
0:20:24 > 0:20:25- Daddy!- Help.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28Jamie, where are you?
0:20:30 > 0:20:33SHOUTING AND METALLIC CLASHING
0:20:33 > 0:20:37HORSES NEIGH
0:20:41 > 0:20:44Ooh. Love the smell of towels in the morning.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46HORSE NEIGHS
0:20:46 > 0:20:49But why didn't you ever show me any affection?
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Will you two get off my hands.
0:20:51 > 0:20:55- I'm sorry if I hurt you, Samantha. - I love you, Daddy.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58There's someone coming.
0:20:59 > 0:21:00Can I help you?
0:21:00 > 0:21:03This maiden is thrice as lovely as the other two.
0:21:03 > 0:21:07- Eh?- Forgive me. I think I love you!
0:21:09 > 0:21:11# You're the youngest one I've met so far
0:21:11 > 0:21:16# Your lovely lady looks have really raised the bar
0:21:16 > 0:21:18# If you marry me I'm not promising anything
0:21:18 > 0:21:21# But you might get your own hat
0:21:22 > 0:21:25# And you might even get to keep your own head
0:21:25 > 0:21:28# To wear it on! Terms and conditions apply. #
0:21:28 > 0:21:31- You're amazing! - Thank you. Would you like to...?
0:21:31 > 0:21:33Get married? Yes! When?
0:21:33 > 0:21:37- Six of the clock. - "Six of the clock." How romantic.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39I'll go and get changed!
0:21:40 > 0:21:41SHE SQUEALS EXCITEDLY
0:21:46 > 0:21:47SHE SIGHS
0:21:48 > 0:21:52This is almost too easy. He-he.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55SHOUTING AND METALLIC CLASHING
0:22:02 > 0:22:03Argh!
0:22:04 > 0:22:05Hi, there.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Welcome to the Year 8000.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10I'm Daisy, this is Jamie...
0:22:10 > 0:22:11Hello!
0:22:11 > 0:22:13- ..and this is Lenny.- Hello.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16I've gone too far forward.
0:22:17 > 0:22:21I've got to get back. Just going to get back.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25# There may be trouble ahead... #
0:22:27 > 0:22:28We're engaged!
0:22:28 > 0:22:30- So are we!- So are we.
0:22:30 > 0:22:34Don't you try and ruin Daisy's one chance of happiness.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36What is THAT?
0:22:36 > 0:22:39- Shut up, Antiques Roadshow. - How dare you?!
0:22:39 > 0:22:43Ladies, calm down. There's only one civilised way to settle this.
0:22:43 > 0:22:47- Yes, what?- A massive catfight!
0:22:47 > 0:22:49# Na-na-na-na, na, na, na
0:22:49 > 0:22:51# I want to start a fight
0:22:51 > 0:22:53# Na-na-na-na, na, na, na # I want to start a fight. #
0:23:04 > 0:23:07You were right, Lenny. It is a time machine.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09I told you that.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13Wha! Jamie! What a spread!
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Much better than last year.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18And who is this adorable character actor?
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Looks just like the real thing.
0:23:20 > 0:23:24- What a pity we are doing The Victorians this year.- Hold on!
0:23:24 > 0:23:28If he's not an historical re-enactor...
0:23:28 > 0:23:32- ..then he must be... - ALL: The real Henry the Eighth!
0:23:33 > 0:23:35Ah!
0:23:35 > 0:23:37My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen!
0:23:37 > 0:23:41Thank you so much for coming to my weddings.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43I think I can safely say
0:23:43 > 0:23:47that I will never meet a woman I like better
0:23:47 > 0:23:50than these three women I'm about to marry.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52And that is a promise!
0:23:52 > 0:23:54PUPPET: He's full of hot air!
0:23:54 > 0:23:56- Who said that?- I did.
0:23:56 > 0:24:00- And there's a lot more where that came from.- He-he!
0:24:00 > 0:24:03What an amazing, sassy, tubular woman.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05I think I shall marry you.
0:24:05 > 0:24:09Trouble is, I've already agreed to marry these three. Hmm...
0:24:10 > 0:24:14I need your help. Would you please behead these three women?
0:24:14 > 0:24:15OK, if I must.
0:24:15 > 0:24:16No, what?
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Take them to the Tower!
0:24:18 > 0:24:20But...we don't have a tower.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24Take them...to the TV room.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26Hurray! What fun!
0:24:26 > 0:24:28How are you doing?
0:24:29 > 0:24:30Oh, Henry!
0:24:34 > 0:24:36Don't worry, I've got a plan.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Lenny, you've come to rescue us!
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Well, not quite. But I thought of this.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45Take your minds off the beheadings.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Ahem... # Doe...ray...
0:24:48 > 0:24:49# Meat...farm...
0:24:49 > 0:24:54# Snow...lah...cheese...
0:24:54 > 0:24:57- # Doe. # - Lenny? Lenny?
0:24:57 > 0:25:01- Be careful with it. - We'll just take that for you.
0:25:01 > 0:25:02- Thank you.- Careful.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05CRASH!
0:25:05 > 0:25:08Jamie, do something!
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Erm... Eh...
0:25:10 > 0:25:14Ho! Of course. That's it!
0:25:14 > 0:25:20- I knew you'd think of something. - OK, guys, history in the making.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23Everyone, follow me to the beheading chamber.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26What?!! That's not what I meant!
0:25:26 > 0:25:30This way, everybody. That's it. You'll absolutely love it in there.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33- You say it.- You say it.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36- I can't.- Say it, Henry! Tell her you love her.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39- In all the heavens... - You'd better treat her well.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Come on, come on. Through there.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44Through here. Yep.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51Hmm? This isn't the beheading chamber.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54Hi, there. Welcome to the year 8000.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57- I'm Daisy, this is Jamie...- Hello.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Argh!
0:26:09 > 0:26:12Argh!! Argh!! Argh!!
0:26:14 > 0:26:17That's it, Lenny. Destroy that time machine.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20MUSIC: "Ace of Spades" by Motorhead
0:26:23 > 0:26:27# If you like to gamble I tell you I'm your man
0:26:27 > 0:26:30# You win some, lose some It's all the same to me. #
0:26:34 > 0:26:36And as for you lot,
0:26:36 > 0:26:40- I don't know what you were all thinking.- You did tell us be nice
0:26:40 > 0:26:46- to anyone in costume.- Nice? You were about to marry Henry VIII!
0:26:46 > 0:26:48ALL: Sorry, Jamie.
0:26:48 > 0:26:52- And what if you had gone through with it?- We'd be Queen,
0:26:52 > 0:26:55with access to untold riches.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57What?! All of you?!
0:26:57 > 0:27:02I'm sure we would have worked out some sort of timeshare scheme.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Women are practical like that, Jamie.
0:27:04 > 0:27:05That's true.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08PHONE RINGS
0:27:08 > 0:27:12Let's just hope that isn't the rest of the historical re-enactors,
0:27:12 > 0:27:16phoning to find out where their friends are.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19Hello? Hotel Trubble.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22PHONE VOICE SPEAKS AT 100 MPH
0:27:22 > 0:27:24(It's them.)
0:27:25 > 0:27:28# Hotel Trubble forever
0:27:28 > 0:27:30# It's the pits and we know
0:27:30 > 0:27:33# We're stuck but we love it
0:27:33 > 0:27:35# Hotel Trubble forever
0:27:35 > 0:27:38# We're a team staying calm Arm in arm
0:27:38 > 0:27:41# So the hotel survives
0:27:41 > 0:27:42# Trubble, Trubble
0:27:42 > 0:27:44# Keep the hotel alive. #