Dragon's Den

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04Welcome to Hotel Trubble.

0:00:04 > 0:00:05Meet Sally, our receptionist.

0:00:05 > 0:00:08People! Trying to have a conversation here.

0:00:08 > 0:00:12And this is Lenny. He's a man of many talents.

0:00:12 > 0:00:17This is Dolly, she's Mr Trubble's - ahem - fiancee.

0:00:17 > 0:00:20And this is Mrs Poshington, the new cleaner.

0:00:20 > 0:00:24Which just leaves me, Jamie, I'm the bell boy.

0:00:24 > 0:00:27# Hotel Trubble forever

0:00:27 > 0:00:30# It's the pits and we know we're stuck

0:00:30 > 0:00:32# But we love it

0:00:32 > 0:00:34# Hotel Trubble forever

0:00:34 > 0:00:36# We're a team staying calm

0:00:36 > 0:00:37# Arm in arm

0:00:37 > 0:00:39# So the hotels shall survives

0:00:39 > 0:00:41# Trubble, Trubble

0:00:41 > 0:00:44# Keep the hotel alive. #

0:00:44 > 0:00:46BIRDSONG

0:00:56 > 0:00:59CAR ENGINE PURRS

0:01:04 > 0:01:07What ARE you doing, Leonard? It's hotter than the sun in here.

0:01:07 > 0:01:10You've done some weird things in your time,

0:01:10 > 0:01:12but this is the final straw.

0:01:12 > 0:01:14This is the final straw.

0:01:14 > 0:01:16I'm preparing the reception for our new guest,

0:01:16 > 0:01:20- a big scaly bug-eyed creature. - I thought Louis Walsh had cancelled?

0:01:20 > 0:01:22No, not Louis Walsh, a great big lizard.

0:01:22 > 0:01:25Mr Trubble called to say one's coming to stay.

0:01:25 > 0:01:28Look, I've got it a jar of wasps as a treat.

0:01:30 > 0:01:36No, Lenny, he phoned me, too, it's a DRAGON coming to say.

0:01:36 > 0:01:38Yeah that's what I thought he said,

0:01:38 > 0:01:41but everyone knows dragons don't exist. He must have meant lizard.

0:01:44 > 0:01:46No, Lenny, he meant a dragon.

0:01:46 > 0:01:51The biggest, scariest dragon of all is going to be here any minute.

0:01:51 > 0:01:54Here at Hotel Trubble?

0:01:54 > 0:01:57Fire! Teeth! Run! Oh!

0:01:57 > 0:02:00ANGRY SHOUTING AND CRASHING

0:02:02 > 0:02:03Chef! Scarier than dragon!

0:02:03 > 0:02:05Fire! Teeth! Run!

0:02:05 > 0:02:11No, Lenny, he's one of the Dragons from the Dragons' Den TV programme!

0:02:11 > 0:02:13Oh, never mind.

0:02:13 > 0:02:15- Mrs Poshington!- Yes?

0:02:15 > 0:02:19Would you clean this lot up while I turn the heating down?

0:02:19 > 0:02:24- What's that you've got there? - It's my Zoom Broom.

0:02:24 > 0:02:27Well, they say two heads are better than one,

0:02:27 > 0:02:32- so I figured that three heads must be better than two!- Oh.

0:02:32 > 0:02:36It gets the job done three times as fast! Look!

0:02:36 > 0:02:40- Broom!- Watch the feet! - Broom! Broom! Broom!

0:02:40 > 0:02:41What's wrong with Lenny?

0:02:41 > 0:02:43He's yelling about dragon attacks.

0:02:43 > 0:02:48Well, Jamie, my Mr Trubble is an old friend of Duncan Banana-Time...

0:02:48 > 0:02:50That Scottish grump-bag from Dragons' Den?

0:02:50 > 0:02:52The very same.

0:02:52 > 0:02:55Apparently, there's been an accident at the Dragons' Den studio -

0:02:55 > 0:02:58something about an automatic painting machine...

0:02:58 > 0:02:59And if you press this button here...

0:02:59 > 0:03:01BOOM!

0:03:04 > 0:03:05I'm out.

0:03:05 > 0:03:07BOOM!

0:03:07 > 0:03:09So, all the Dragons are out looking

0:03:09 > 0:03:12- for a new location to film their final episode.- Wow!

0:03:12 > 0:03:16Imagine if we could persuade them to film in Hotel Trubble!

0:03:16 > 0:03:17I know! I know!

0:03:17 > 0:03:22- GRAVELLY VOICE: - Hotel Trubble is the Dragon's Den!

0:03:23 > 0:03:27It's a shame it's that miserable old moaner who's coming.

0:03:27 > 0:03:29SCOTTISH: You're wasting my time!

0:03:29 > 0:03:31You're wasting your own time!

0:03:31 > 0:03:33I hate you!

0:03:33 > 0:03:35I hate everything!

0:03:35 > 0:03:37Get me a room! Now!

0:03:37 > 0:03:40Nice one, Jamie! That's dead like him!

0:03:40 > 0:03:42"Get me a room...now!"

0:03:42 > 0:03:49"I'm Duncan Banana-Time and I've got a face like I'm chewing nettles..."

0:03:49 > 0:03:52But it's OK, cos deep down, I'm a thoroughly lovely human being.

0:03:52 > 0:03:55Look, Mr Trubble told me this would be a great place

0:03:55 > 0:03:57to film Dragons' Den.

0:03:57 > 0:04:01- He told you right!- What's the plan? What are your figures?

0:04:01 > 0:04:05Well, we are a completely unique hotel experience.

0:04:05 > 0:04:09No-one else provides a service like ours. We have a monopoly.

0:04:09 > 0:04:12- And a Scrabble!- And a KerPlunk! - That's not...

0:04:12 > 0:04:15Go on. I like KerPlunk.

0:04:16 > 0:04:20This represents the other hotels in the area.

0:04:20 > 0:04:22This is us.

0:04:22 > 0:04:26As you can see, our spare capacity is much higher.

0:04:28 > 0:04:30And this is a pie chart.

0:04:30 > 0:04:3370% of our customers say they've never stayed anywhere like this.

0:04:33 > 0:04:3780% say they would tell their friends

0:04:37 > 0:04:40and the other 20% say they'd tell the police.

0:04:40 > 0:04:43So in conclusion, people come to Hotel Trubble

0:04:43 > 0:04:46because all the other hotels are full,

0:04:46 > 0:04:48but they stay for the service.

0:04:48 > 0:04:52And because all the other hotels are full.

0:04:52 > 0:04:54So here's the deal.

0:04:54 > 0:04:59You stay in one of our rooms and you will see that Hotel Trubble

0:04:59 > 0:05:02is the perfect place for your filming needs.

0:05:02 > 0:05:05All right, all right. OK, I'll stay here

0:05:05 > 0:05:08and then maybe I'll film Dragons' Den here.

0:05:08 > 0:05:11But let me get this clear -

0:05:11 > 0:05:14I cannae stand anyone getting on me nerves...

0:05:14 > 0:05:15We'd never do that, Mr...

0:05:15 > 0:05:19- Or interrupt me...- We'd never interrupt you!- Or contradict me!

0:05:19 > 0:05:22Or anything else, for that matter.

0:05:22 > 0:05:25In fact, if any of you lot get on my nerves,

0:05:25 > 0:05:26I'm going to leave here,

0:05:26 > 0:05:31I'm going to buy this hotel and then you're all fired!

0:05:31 > 0:05:33Is that clear?

0:05:33 > 0:05:37Of course, no irritations, Mr Banana-Time, I promise.

0:05:37 > 0:05:42You'll find Hotel Trubble a very calm and relaxing place.

0:05:42 > 0:05:43LOUD CLATTERING

0:05:43 > 0:05:48Sir Lenny to the rescue! I'll save us from the fire-breathing monster!

0:05:48 > 0:05:49Raa! Waa!

0:05:49 > 0:05:53I... We...

0:05:53 > 0:05:54Let me show you to your room.

0:05:54 > 0:05:58He's not a real dragon, Lenny, he's off the telly.

0:05:58 > 0:06:00You know, Dragons' Den?

0:06:00 > 0:06:03Oh right. I love that show, me.

0:06:03 > 0:06:07I'm always getting these really good ideas. Like this one.

0:06:07 > 0:06:09It's my anti- wasp hat.

0:06:10 > 0:06:12- Works every time.- How can you tell?

0:06:12 > 0:06:14Can you see any wasps?

0:06:14 > 0:06:16No.

0:06:16 > 0:06:19Exactly. And I've invented this new shape.

0:06:19 > 0:06:24It's a cross between a square and a circle.

0:06:24 > 0:06:27I call it a squircle! Clever, eh?

0:06:27 > 0:06:31No. Don't bother Mr Banana-Time with any of these silly pitches.

0:06:31 > 0:06:33He doesn't want anyone getting on his nerves.

0:06:33 > 0:06:36Don't worry, I won't be pitching me ideas to anyone.

0:06:36 > 0:06:37I get terrible nerves.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39Everyone gets nerves, Lenny.

0:06:39 > 0:06:41No, not like me.

0:06:41 > 0:06:44I only have to think about standing in front of people,

0:06:44 > 0:06:47pitching me ideas until I get more and more nervous

0:06:47 > 0:06:49and then suddenly...

0:06:49 > 0:06:51FARTING AND WHISTLING

0:06:51 > 0:06:52BOOM!

0:06:54 > 0:06:55..that happens.

0:06:55 > 0:06:57I wasn't expecting that!

0:06:57 > 0:06:59Nobody does.

0:06:59 > 0:07:04I've got loads of ideas, but I just have to keep them in me head.

0:07:04 > 0:07:05Good.

0:07:05 > 0:07:11Because if we keep him sweet, he's going to film here, at the hotel.

0:07:11 > 0:07:14Ooh! Fame! Fortune!

0:07:14 > 0:07:16Celebrity! Here I come.

0:07:16 > 0:07:20Yeah. You might just want to wash your face first, though.

0:07:20 > 0:07:21What?

0:07:23 > 0:07:26SHE SCREAMS

0:07:26 > 0:07:27All checked in, Mr Sham.

0:07:27 > 0:07:30I do hope you enjoy your stay at Hotel Trubble,

0:07:30 > 0:07:33the most relaxing hotel in town.

0:07:33 > 0:07:35- I apologise! - Yeah, you'd better run, Lenny!

0:07:35 > 0:07:39I've to do my make-up all over again!

0:07:39 > 0:07:44- Very relaxing, indeed.- Can I ask you for your autograph-f-f-f?

0:07:44 > 0:07:46My autograph-f-f-f?

0:07:46 > 0:07:49Yes, I collect them, I'm the best in the world.

0:07:49 > 0:07:54I will stop at nothing to get an autograph-f-f-f if I really want it.

0:07:54 > 0:07:57Look, they're all here, you see?

0:07:57 > 0:07:58Sharon Frogspawn.

0:07:58 > 0:08:01"Get out of my bins, you freak. Sharon."

0:08:01 > 0:08:02Cheryl Mole.

0:08:02 > 0:08:06"Stop hiding in my bushes, you're driving me mad. Cheryl."

0:08:06 > 0:08:08And of course, the Queen.

0:08:08 > 0:08:13"Come near me again and I'll set the Corgis on you.

0:08:13 > 0:08:17"This is your final warning. Liz."

0:08:17 > 0:08:19Well, you're clearly very persistent.

0:08:19 > 0:08:21So why do you want me? I'm not famous.

0:08:21 > 0:08:24Ah, you're not famous YET. It's one of my tactics.

0:08:24 > 0:08:27If I get the autograph-f-f-f

0:08:27 > 0:08:31of everyone I meet and if they then become famous, I've already got it.

0:08:31 > 0:08:34- I see.- So are you going to give me yours,

0:08:34 > 0:08:37or am I going to have to follow you around, nagging and nagging

0:08:37 > 0:08:42and nagging and nagging and nagging and nagging and nagging

0:08:42 > 0:08:45and nagging and nagging... Until you give in?

0:08:47 > 0:08:50I'm just going to sign it here.

0:08:50 > 0:08:54"To Mr Sham,

0:08:54 > 0:09:01"please stop stalking me. Jamie."

0:09:01 > 0:09:04- There you go. All yours.- Thanks.

0:09:04 > 0:09:06I'll see myself up.

0:09:06 > 0:09:08OK.

0:09:11 > 0:09:14Jamie, why are you giving your autograph to that man?

0:09:14 > 0:09:17Mr Sham is the world's leading autograph hunter.

0:09:17 > 0:09:21I mean, he'll do anything for an autograph.

0:09:21 > 0:09:22Let me get this straight,

0:09:22 > 0:09:26we've got top celebrity Duncan Banana-Time staying,

0:09:26 > 0:09:30the man who could make Hotel Trubble really famous if he films here,

0:09:30 > 0:09:34but could also get us all fired if he gets very annoyed,

0:09:34 > 0:09:36something which could happen very easily.

0:09:36 > 0:09:38I see, I'm with you so far.

0:09:38 > 0:09:40Yet you thought it was a good idea

0:09:40 > 0:09:44to check in the world's most determined autograph hunter?

0:09:45 > 0:09:49If anything is going to wind up Mr Banana-Time,

0:09:49 > 0:09:51it's a celebrity stalker.

0:09:51 > 0:09:55Yeah but... I mean, he wouldn't...

0:09:55 > 0:09:57Oopsie.

0:09:57 > 0:09:58Oopsie indeed.

0:09:58 > 0:09:59Get rid of him!

0:10:00 > 0:10:03But I don't understand. You said the hotel was very quiet!

0:10:03 > 0:10:08Did I? Well, it is, because the hotel is full up...

0:10:08 > 0:10:12- with a whispering convention. - Well, I didn't hear them.

0:10:12 > 0:10:16- Well you wouldn't, would you? - Look, this is ridiculous,

0:10:16 > 0:10:18this room is empty, why can't I stay here?

0:10:18 > 0:10:19Erm...

0:10:20 > 0:10:23..the bed is broken.

0:10:23 > 0:10:24BED CREAKS

0:10:24 > 0:10:28- Well, it seems fine to me. - No, no, it's broken.

0:10:28 > 0:10:30BOING! BOING! BOING!

0:10:30 > 0:10:33CREAK! CREAK! CREAK!

0:10:33 > 0:10:35CRACK! BOING! CRACK!

0:10:35 > 0:10:38Any minute now...

0:10:38 > 0:10:40it'll be broken. Any minute.

0:10:40 > 0:10:42BOING! BOING! BOING!

0:10:43 > 0:10:47Any minute now! Ah! Ah! Oh!

0:10:47 > 0:10:48Argh!

0:10:48 > 0:10:49BOING!

0:10:49 > 0:10:53- The bed is not broken. - All right! All right.

0:10:54 > 0:10:58If you like this room so much, you can stay in it.

0:10:58 > 0:11:00And I mean STAY in it.

0:11:00 > 0:11:03It's so comfortable in here,

0:11:03 > 0:11:07you shouldn't have to leave until it's time to check out. Got that?

0:11:13 > 0:11:16I don't care, Deborah, this is the perfect place to film.

0:11:16 > 0:11:20- Mr Banana-Time, sir!- Peter, let me get a word in edge ways.

0:11:20 > 0:11:24Oh, be quiet! Theo, no, no.

0:11:24 > 0:11:27- Oh, I give up!- Bad news? - It's the other Dragons.

0:11:27 > 0:11:30They think they have found the perfect place to film

0:11:30 > 0:11:34and they willnae listen to me when I say I'VE got the perfect place.

0:11:34 > 0:11:37The trouble is, they're wrong and I'm right.

0:11:37 > 0:11:39Well, can't you do without them?

0:11:39 > 0:11:42If only. Without four Dragons, there's no show.

0:11:42 > 0:11:45But does it have to be THOSE Dragons?

0:11:45 > 0:11:48What if I told you I could find three new Dragons ready to do the show

0:11:48 > 0:11:51right here and then you could be the star of the show?

0:11:51 > 0:11:54Star of the show, eh?

0:11:54 > 0:11:56Yeah, and you could rename it.

0:11:56 > 0:11:58"It's Banana-Time!"

0:11:58 > 0:11:59A FUNKY TUNE PLAYS

0:12:03 > 0:12:06I like it. I'm in. Right, get me three new Dragons

0:12:06 > 0:12:08and a bunch of idiots with inventions

0:12:08 > 0:12:11and we'll film right here, this afternoon.

0:12:11 > 0:12:14But if you mess me about - you're fired!

0:12:14 > 0:12:15Isn't that a different show?

0:12:15 > 0:12:17That's The Apprentice.

0:12:17 > 0:12:19Oh. Oh, yeah. You're right, good point.

0:12:22 > 0:12:25So all we need is three new Dragons,

0:12:25 > 0:12:27a stack of cash and a whole load of inventors.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29Where are we going to find that?

0:12:29 > 0:12:31Well, I know where we can find three Dragons.

0:12:31 > 0:12:35- No way!- Oh, come on, Jamie, we can be on the telly!

0:12:35 > 0:12:37But where are we going to get the cash?

0:12:37 > 0:12:38Yeah, and what about the inventors?

0:12:38 > 0:12:42You...hit the streets.

0:12:42 > 0:12:47Find a whole load of inventors and YOU come with me.

0:12:47 > 0:12:48- Come on.- Argh!

0:12:48 > 0:12:49LOUD-HAILER SQUEALS

0:12:49 > 0:12:51Inventors!

0:12:51 > 0:12:54Pleeeeease.

0:12:54 > 0:12:58You think I'm letting you loose with Hotel Trubble's money? No way.

0:12:58 > 0:13:01It's the only way to get Duncan Banana-Time to film at Hotel Trubble.

0:13:01 > 0:13:04The only way you'll get on telly, more like.

0:13:04 > 0:13:06Oh, I hadn't thought of that.

0:13:06 > 0:13:09Look, Sally's got a point, Dolly.

0:13:09 > 0:13:12If we want Duncan to film here and make the hotel famous,

0:13:12 > 0:13:15we're going to need so get some cash and some Dragons.

0:13:15 > 0:13:19- Yeah, and besides we don't have to actually invest in anything.- Exactly.

0:13:19 > 0:13:23It will be for show and we'll give it all back when it's over.

0:13:23 > 0:13:24All right, then.

0:13:27 > 0:13:30But I want it back. Every penny.

0:13:30 > 0:13:35Or it won't be Duncan Banana-Time that gets you fired, it'll be me!

0:13:35 > 0:13:37I got the inventors!

0:13:37 > 0:13:39Oh, sorry.

0:13:40 > 0:13:41Ow!

0:13:41 > 0:13:47It's ideal. Really run down. Get a camera crew.

0:13:47 > 0:13:50Oh, don't worry about those talentless morons,

0:13:50 > 0:13:54I've found a whole new bunch of talentless morons to replace them.

0:13:56 > 0:13:58Oh! Mr Sham.

0:13:58 > 0:14:02We have to keep him and Duncan apart at all costs. Ideas?

0:14:02 > 0:14:07Oh, we could chain Mr Sham to his bedroom radiator.

0:14:07 > 0:14:09Ideas that wouldn't get us arrested.

0:14:09 > 0:14:12Well, now you're moving the goalposts.

0:14:14 > 0:14:15What are you doing?

0:14:15 > 0:14:18Oh, just giving you a shoulder massage, you look really tense.

0:14:18 > 0:14:22I am really tense, because I'm surrounded by idiots.

0:14:22 > 0:14:24I'm trying to put a show together.

0:14:24 > 0:14:28You're absolutely right and we've not a moment to lose,

0:14:28 > 0:14:30why don't we set them up right now?

0:14:30 > 0:14:32That chap looked familiar.

0:14:32 > 0:14:35- Do I know his face from somewhere? - I wouldn't think so.

0:14:35 > 0:14:38- Not unless you watch the telly. - Shut up, Lenny!

0:14:38 > 0:14:41If you'll come this way, Mr Sham, I'll explain the whole thing.

0:14:41 > 0:14:44OK? Just this way. Keep your eye on reception

0:14:44 > 0:14:46and if anyone tries to get near Duncan Banana-Time,

0:14:46 > 0:14:49get rid of them, all right? I won't put this filming at risk.

0:14:49 > 0:14:54- Well what shall I say? - Make something up! This way.

0:14:58 > 0:15:02Er, you must be here to see Duncan Banana-Time?

0:15:02 > 0:15:04- Absolutely.- Yeah.

0:15:04 > 0:15:06If anyone tries to get near Duncan Banana-Time,

0:15:06 > 0:15:09- get rid of them, all right? - I'm afraid you can't see him.

0:15:09 > 0:15:12Because, erm, he's gone to the bottom of the sea.

0:15:12 > 0:15:16Yeah, bottom of the sea in a little miniature submarine.

0:15:16 > 0:15:17What about our inventions?

0:15:17 > 0:15:20Look, I don't care if you're inventors

0:15:20 > 0:15:23and completely vital to the show, you have got to go.

0:15:23 > 0:15:24Look, out! Go on, out!

0:15:24 > 0:15:27That is just a light. That doesn't count. Go on!

0:15:32 > 0:15:35Right, talk me there through what doing here.

0:15:35 > 0:15:36Four chairs, four Dragons.

0:15:36 > 0:15:39But all four chairs are identical,

0:15:39 > 0:15:41you need four completely different chairs.

0:15:41 > 0:15:44Make sure I get the best one.

0:15:44 > 0:15:46I know what you're up to, sunbeam.

0:15:46 > 0:15:49- You've got someone famous staying here!- Yes.- Who?

0:15:49 > 0:15:52Have a guess. If there's one person in the entire world

0:15:52 > 0:15:56whose autograph you haven't got, but really want, who would that be?

0:15:56 > 0:15:58Oh!

0:15:58 > 0:16:01Not world-famous magician David Copperbottom?

0:16:01 > 0:16:04Yes! That is exactly who it is.

0:16:06 > 0:16:08But he's on the other side of the world,

0:16:08 > 0:16:11performing with his glamorous assistant, Claudia Chiffon!

0:16:11 > 0:16:13Well, he is a magician.

0:16:13 > 0:16:16I can get his autograph, if you promise to stay in your room

0:16:16 > 0:16:18for the evening. You know, to give him privacy.

0:16:18 > 0:16:22- Get me Claudia, too, and it's a deal.- Sure, both of them, why not?

0:16:22 > 0:16:26Just close your eyes, count to 100 and they'll both appear by magic.

0:16:26 > 0:16:28All right.

0:16:28 > 0:16:31One, two...

0:16:36 > 0:16:38Hello, Mr Banana-Time, sorry to barge in.

0:16:38 > 0:16:41Before you say a word, everything's fine, no problems.

0:16:41 > 0:16:43Can I borrow you? Not you, Mr Banana-Time,

0:16:43 > 0:16:46Stay here and get set up. Thank you, goodbye!

0:16:48 > 0:16:53I'm sorry, but you can't see Mr Banana-Time, cos he's got, um...

0:16:53 > 0:16:54a horribly itchy bum

0:16:54 > 0:16:58and it's really infectious, so probably best to stay away.

0:16:58 > 0:17:00Thanks.

0:17:00 > 0:17:04I shouldn't have said that, I've got an itchy bum now.

0:17:04 > 0:17:07- Oh, Jamie, that was the last of the inventors.- Oh, good work, Lenny.

0:17:07 > 0:17:10Ah, he's not Lenny,

0:17:10 > 0:17:14he's the world-famous magician, David Copperbottom.

0:17:14 > 0:17:17Er, no, Jamie. It's definitely me, Lenny.

0:17:17 > 0:17:20Has he been working too hard?

0:17:20 > 0:17:22No, no, no, listen, Mr Sham is in there,

0:17:22 > 0:17:26waiting for an autograph from the world-famous magician,

0:17:26 > 0:17:27David Copperbottom.

0:17:27 > 0:17:29Brilliant idea!

0:17:29 > 0:17:31And his glamorous assistant, Claudia Chiffon.

0:17:31 > 0:17:33Terrible idea!

0:17:33 > 0:17:35Come on, Sally, please.

0:17:35 > 0:17:37If he gets your autograph-f-f-fs...

0:17:37 > 0:17:39autograph-f-f-fs...

0:17:40 > 0:17:42Autograph-f-f-fs?

0:17:42 > 0:17:45Yeah, those. Anyway, if he gets those,

0:17:45 > 0:17:48He's promised to stay in his room for the night.

0:17:48 > 0:17:51- Oh, OK then! - Yeah, but what I'm saying is

0:17:51 > 0:17:53that I don't look anything like a...

0:17:53 > 0:17:56magician.

0:17:56 > 0:17:59- ..98, 99...- Now, THAT'S magic.

0:17:59 > 0:18:01..100!

0:18:02 > 0:18:04What an entrance!

0:18:04 > 0:18:09I am the world famous magician, David Copperbottom.

0:18:09 > 0:18:13And this is my glamorous assistant, Sally... Ooh!

0:18:13 > 0:18:19My glamorous and unpredictably violent assistant, Claudia Chiffon.

0:18:21 > 0:18:25Oh, my goodness. I think you're both amazing.

0:18:25 > 0:18:28Would you sign my autograph-f-f-f book?

0:18:28 > 0:18:30Yes, of course.

0:18:30 > 0:18:34Hey, presto! It's a pen!

0:18:43 > 0:18:45We bid you good day, mortal man.

0:18:45 > 0:18:47Don't go!

0:18:47 > 0:18:49Do another trick. Please.

0:18:50 > 0:18:54OK. One more, but you have to go to your room straight afterwards.

0:18:54 > 0:18:58- I promise.- What are you doing? I don't know any more magic tricks.

0:18:58 > 0:18:59It's all right Lenny,

0:18:59 > 0:19:02just imagine you're in front of the Dragons,

0:19:02 > 0:19:05presenting one of your inventions.

0:19:05 > 0:19:07HE FARTS

0:19:10 > 0:19:11Ta-da!

0:19:16 > 0:19:17Oh!

0:19:18 > 0:19:20Oh, amazing! Oh.

0:19:20 > 0:19:22Magic.

0:19:24 > 0:19:26Thanks, guys. Great stuff.

0:19:26 > 0:19:28- See you later.- Bye.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30Well done, you two.

0:19:30 > 0:19:32Now Mr Sham's out of the way,

0:19:32 > 0:19:35the filming can start once the inventors get here.

0:19:35 > 0:19:37- The inventors?- That's right, Lenny.

0:19:37 > 0:19:40The ones you told me to get rid of so they didn't annoy Mr Banana-Time?

0:19:40 > 0:19:43That's right... What?

0:19:43 > 0:19:44What? No... I didn't say that.

0:19:44 > 0:19:46Er, yes, you did.

0:19:46 > 0:19:49If anyone tries to get near Duncan Banana-Time,

0:19:49 > 0:19:51- gets rid of them, all right?- See.

0:19:51 > 0:19:53I didn't mean...

0:19:53 > 0:19:56But there's no time to find any replacements.

0:19:56 > 0:19:59OK. OK. There's only one thing we can do.

0:19:59 > 0:20:02Chain Mr Banana-Time to his bedroom radiator!

0:20:02 > 0:20:05Stop trying to solve all your problems that way.

0:20:05 > 0:20:10No, I mean Lenny is going to have to pitch HIS inventions to Duncan.

0:20:10 > 0:20:13No way, not going to happen Jamie.

0:20:13 > 0:20:14Well, hang on.

0:20:16 > 0:20:20This, Lenny, is a magical feather.

0:20:20 > 0:20:24- Like in Dumbo.- Oh, wow!

0:20:24 > 0:20:25Ooh!

0:20:30 > 0:20:33# Come fly with me

0:20:33 > 0:20:36# Let's fly, let's away... #

0:20:36 > 0:20:38CRUNCH!

0:20:38 > 0:20:41Not exactly like Dumbo.

0:20:41 > 0:20:46It doesn't make you fly. But it can, it can magically cure nerves.

0:20:46 > 0:20:47Oh, brilliant.

0:20:47 > 0:20:50I'll go and get me inventions now. Thanks, Jamie!

0:20:52 > 0:20:55Right, where are these Dragons you promised me?

0:20:55 > 0:20:58Here we are, Mr Banana-Time.

0:20:58 > 0:21:00Just the two of you?

0:21:00 > 0:21:03Ah, not to worry, that only leaves Theo Profiterole

0:21:03 > 0:21:06and I know exactly what to replace him with.

0:21:06 > 0:21:08Just remember, this is my show.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10No-one's allowed to look better than me. Got that?

0:21:10 > 0:21:12No-one.

0:21:12 > 0:21:14Right, run titles.

0:21:16 > 0:21:18'These people are Dragons.

0:21:18 > 0:21:21'Big, scary Dragons, with sackfuls of money.

0:21:21 > 0:21:24'Duncan Banana-Time made millions selling ice-cream to Eskimos.

0:21:24 > 0:21:28'At school, he won the hairy back competition three years running.

0:21:28 > 0:21:31'In fact, he's the best at absolutely everything.

0:21:31 > 0:21:34'Peter Bones made a fortune dressing like a stick of seaside rock.

0:21:34 > 0:21:37'He owns several electrical appliance companies

0:21:37 > 0:21:39'making Britain's largest fridge magnet.

0:21:39 > 0:21:42'But he is not quite as good as Duncan.

0:21:42 > 0:21:46Deborah Sneezdon made her money in the retail and leisure industries,

0:21:46 > 0:21:49'because she prefers shopping and taking holidays to doing work.

0:21:49 > 0:21:52'Theo Profiterole just sits there and does nothing.

0:21:52 > 0:21:55'He's useless.

0:21:55 > 0:21:56It's Banana Time.

0:22:02 > 0:22:05Hello, my name's Lenny.

0:22:05 > 0:22:08I'm here to show you my new invention - a cold water bottle.

0:22:08 > 0:22:11Here it is.

0:22:11 > 0:22:13I'll to stop you. I don't care about your product,

0:22:13 > 0:22:18I don't like the way you said hello and for that reason, I'm out.

0:22:19 > 0:22:22- I'm out.- I'm out.

0:22:22 > 0:22:26- I'm out.- I actually have a lot of contacts in this field.

0:22:26 > 0:22:29Could you tell me more about...

0:22:29 > 0:22:31You're not trying to upstage me, are you?

0:22:31 > 0:22:33Of course she isn't. Are you?

0:22:35 > 0:22:37I'm out.

0:22:46 > 0:22:48Hello?

0:22:50 > 0:22:52Is anyone there?

0:22:53 > 0:22:55My TV's on the blink!

0:22:55 > 0:22:57Hello!

0:23:03 > 0:23:05Fruit with the...thingies and the...

0:23:05 > 0:23:10'Lenny Lemon has been pitching to the Dragons for the last 14 hours.

0:23:10 > 0:23:15'He hasn't received a single offer of any his inventions.

0:23:15 > 0:23:17'How much longer can the Dragons endure?'

0:23:17 > 0:23:20Without doubt, these are the worst inventions I've seen.

0:23:20 > 0:23:24I once saw a pitch for scratch-and-sniff toilet paper.

0:23:24 > 0:23:27If you don't have anything better, I'm calling the whole thing off.

0:23:27 > 0:23:29Oh, no, wait.

0:23:29 > 0:23:32Oh, there is this. It's a magic feather.

0:23:32 > 0:23:35- What does that do? - It cures your nerves.

0:23:35 > 0:23:37Oh, a magic feather? Let's have a look.

0:23:37 > 0:23:39Oh, no, the it's best if I keep hold of it.

0:23:39 > 0:23:40Rubbish!

0:23:40 > 0:23:42I won't invest in something unless I try it myself.

0:23:42 > 0:23:46- I really don't think you should do that.- Oh, and why not?

0:23:46 > 0:23:47FARTING AND WHISTLING

0:23:47 > 0:23:49BOOM!

0:23:53 > 0:23:55No! Mr Profiterole!

0:23:55 > 0:23:58Oh! Where's his head?! Speak to me!

0:23:59 > 0:24:01He was one day from retirement!

0:24:01 > 0:24:04It's too late, Lenny. I'm afraid he's gone.

0:24:04 > 0:24:06- No!- What's going on?

0:24:06 > 0:24:10Oh, wait, you're Duncan Banana-Time!

0:24:10 > 0:24:12You're brilliant, you are! Hello!

0:24:12 > 0:24:15Hold on. I quite like this fellow.

0:24:15 > 0:24:18Now that's how you say hello. What have you got for me?

0:24:18 > 0:24:21What do you want? Anything for you.

0:24:21 > 0:24:23Do you know how refreshing it is to hear that?

0:24:23 > 0:24:25People come in here and it's just,

0:24:25 > 0:24:29"Take, take, take, give us your money."

0:24:29 > 0:24:32No-one's ever asked me what I'd like before.

0:24:32 > 0:24:36- How much money are you looking for? - Well, I don't want any money.

0:24:36 > 0:24:38I want your autograph-f-f-f.

0:24:38 > 0:24:40Listen to this man, such humility.

0:24:40 > 0:24:42I'm going to make you an offer -

0:24:42 > 0:24:47£100,000 in return for 50% of any future inventions?

0:24:47 > 0:24:49- How does that sound? - Well, that sounds...

0:24:49 > 0:24:52very nice.

0:24:52 > 0:24:55£200,000 for 50%.

0:24:55 > 0:24:56Sally, what are you doing?

0:24:56 > 0:24:59That's the hotel's money, you can't spend it!

0:24:59 > 0:25:04Hey, I'm just bored. Anyway, banana face won't let me outbid him.

0:25:04 > 0:25:09250,000 for 40% of your business.

0:25:09 > 0:25:11500,000 for 1%.

0:25:11 > 0:25:13What? That's madness!

0:25:13 > 0:25:15I'm out.

0:25:15 > 0:25:16Eh? What?

0:25:16 > 0:25:19If you think you can profit from a deal like that,

0:25:19 > 0:25:20then good luck to you.

0:25:20 > 0:25:21Congratulations.

0:25:21 > 0:25:23Oh, this is terrible!

0:25:23 > 0:25:26Things can't get any worse.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28Oh, wait! I have not shown you my anti-wasp hat yet.

0:25:28 > 0:25:30Things can always get worse.

0:25:30 > 0:25:33Anti-wasp hat? How does that work?

0:25:33 > 0:25:38- Allow me to demonstrate. - No. No, no, no, no, no. No!

0:25:38 > 0:25:40WASPS BUZZ

0:25:40 > 0:25:42THEY SCREAM

0:25:46 > 0:25:49What a disaster!

0:25:49 > 0:25:52We outbid Duncan Banana-Time on his own show.

0:25:52 > 0:25:55And then released a swarm of wasps on him.

0:25:55 > 0:25:59Let's not forget we gave all our money to a celebrity stalker.

0:25:59 > 0:26:02Yeah, I was... I was hoping we could forget that bit.

0:26:02 > 0:26:05Oh, I dinnae think so,

0:26:05 > 0:26:07You see, now the hotel is penniless,

0:26:07 > 0:26:10I'm going to buy it out and you three, I'll fire.

0:26:10 > 0:26:12- ALL:- No!

0:26:12 > 0:26:14SHE SINGS TUNELESSLY

0:26:14 > 0:26:18Don't mind me, just passing through on my way to cleaning up the mess.

0:26:18 > 0:26:21How did you know we'd make a mess?

0:26:21 > 0:26:23Because you always do, dear.

0:26:23 > 0:26:26Excuse me, granny. What's that you got there?

0:26:26 > 0:26:29This is my zoom broom.

0:26:29 > 0:26:32Cleans up three times faster.

0:26:32 > 0:26:34Well, you need it with this lot.

0:26:34 > 0:26:37I can see that taking off in a big way. Can I make you an offer?

0:26:37 > 0:26:39Oh, no, dear. No, no, no.

0:26:39 > 0:26:41This is not for sale.

0:26:41 > 0:26:44I wouldn't sell this for a million pounds.

0:26:44 > 0:26:45Er, Mrs P...

0:26:47 > 0:26:49Could I have a world?

0:26:49 > 0:26:51HE WHISPERS

0:26:53 > 0:26:54WHISPERS: Oh, all right!

0:26:54 > 0:27:00As I was saying is, I wouldn't sell this for a million pounds,

0:27:00 > 0:27:03but I would sell it for enough money

0:27:03 > 0:27:08to replace what these bumbling clowns took out of the safe.

0:27:08 > 0:27:11And a promise that you'll leave the hotel alone?

0:27:11 > 0:27:13- Deal.- Done.

0:27:13 > 0:27:17Oh, nice one, Mrs P.

0:27:17 > 0:27:19Money.

0:27:19 > 0:27:23- Yes.- And more money. And money. - Yes. Right. There we go.

0:27:23 > 0:27:25I'm going put this back in the safe,

0:27:25 > 0:27:29before YOU find any other way of losing it.

0:27:29 > 0:27:30That was close.

0:27:30 > 0:27:32Now, let's get back to work

0:27:32 > 0:27:35and don't want to anyone to mention inventions ever again.

0:27:35 > 0:27:41- Oh, well, I guess it's goodbye to my anti-wasp hat then.- No! No!

0:27:41 > 0:27:43See, I told you it worked!

0:27:43 > 0:27:45THEY SCREAM

0:27:45 > 0:27:47TELEPHONE RINGS

0:27:47 > 0:27:49They're in my hair!

0:27:50 > 0:27:52Hello, hello. Ow! Hotel Trubble.

0:27:52 > 0:27:55# Hotel Trubble forever

0:27:55 > 0:28:00# It's the pits and we know we're stuck but we love it

0:28:00 > 0:28:03# Hotel Trubble forever

0:28:03 > 0:28:04# We're a team staying calm

0:28:04 > 0:28:08# Arm in arm so the hotel survives

0:28:08 > 0:28:09# Trubble Trubble

0:28:09 > 0:28:11# Keep the hotel alive. #