0:00:02 > 0:00:05Welcome to Hotel Trubble. Meet Sally, our receptionist.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Trying to have a conversation here.
0:00:08 > 0:00:11And this is Lenny. He's a man of many talents.
0:00:12 > 0:00:16This is Dolly, she's Mr Trubble's fiancee.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20And this is Mrs Poshington, the new cleaner.
0:00:20 > 0:00:24Which just leaves me, Jamie. I'm the bellboy.
0:00:24 > 0:00:27# Hotel Trubble for ever
0:00:27 > 0:00:32# It's the pits and we know we're stuck, but we love it
0:00:32 > 0:00:34# Hotel Trubble for ever
0:00:34 > 0:00:37# We're a team staying calm arm in arm
0:00:37 > 0:00:41# So the hotel survives trubble, trubble
0:00:41 > 0:00:44# Keep the hotel alive. #
0:00:46 > 0:00:49Wow, I can't believe Jamie's pulled it off.
0:00:49 > 0:00:54Jedward lookalikes Jim and Eleanor staying here at Hotel Trubble!
0:00:54 > 0:00:57It's not Jim and Eleanor, it's Jeleanor. One word.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Jeleanor.
0:00:59 > 0:01:03Like cheese and onion would be "chonion".
0:01:03 > 0:01:07Or nice and easy would be "neasy".
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Yeah, and chicken and chips would be chips.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12Sort of, yeah.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15I'm going to enjoy entertainment Thursday
0:01:15 > 0:01:18almost as much as I enjoyed tidy-your-office Tuesday.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22- Let's hope they don't cancel. - They won't.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24PHONE RINGS
0:01:24 > 0:01:29Jamie soon-to-be-manager after the success of entertainment Thursday.
0:01:29 > 0:01:30BABBLING
0:01:30 > 0:01:33What, sir? Yeah, OK.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36That's great. All right, bye.
0:01:37 > 0:01:38They've cancelled?
0:01:38 > 0:01:40They've cancelled.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43We just have to postpone entertainment Thursday.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46But Mr Trubble is sending the potential investor
0:01:46 > 0:01:49and this is the only Thursday he can do - we can't cancel.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51We need a replacement like...now.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54May I make a suggestion?
0:01:54 > 0:01:58- I thought perhaps I could do my coin trick.- I'm not sure...
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Just let me show you.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03DRUM ROLL
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Ta-dah!
0:02:13 > 0:02:16It's not quite what we're looking for.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Jamie, I've got something.
0:02:18 > 0:02:23- I can fit all 12 of my fingers inside my mouth.- Hang on, 12?
0:02:23 > 0:02:26I know it sounds hard, but just watch this.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28BONES CRACK
0:02:28 > 0:02:32OK, here goes. One..
0:02:34 > 0:02:37Sorry, I haven't done it in a while. I'll have another try.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43It's harder than I remember.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46Just to sum up...
0:02:46 > 0:02:49you can only fit one finger inside your mouth.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Yeah, well, almost.
0:02:51 > 0:02:55Jamie, Jamie, Jamie...
0:02:55 > 0:03:00We all know that there's only one star in this room, that's me.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03Picture this.
0:03:03 > 0:03:08Entertainment Thursday, Sally live.
0:03:08 > 0:03:13- That's it.- I thought he would be harder to convince!
0:03:13 > 0:03:15- We'll do a musical. - That is not what I meant.
0:03:15 > 0:03:20I'll direct it. It'll be about the hotel as the central location,
0:03:20 > 0:03:23featuring songs about the hotel
0:03:23 > 0:03:25and everyone at the hotel doing hotel-based things.
0:03:26 > 0:03:30What will we call it, though? I know.
0:03:30 > 0:03:34We'll call it...
0:03:34 > 0:03:37I want to be a POP star.
0:03:37 > 0:03:38Musicals are lame.
0:03:38 > 0:03:42Especially ones set in a hotel. What are you going to have?
0:03:42 > 0:03:46# Let's all scream and howl
0:03:46 > 0:03:49# Someone's stolen a towel. # It'll be rubbish!
0:03:49 > 0:03:50That is a good lyric.
0:03:50 > 0:03:55When this gets back to Mr Trubble, he'll definitely promote me.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58And - whatever you do - don't mention it to Dolly.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00She'll only try and take over.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04She's so bossy and you know I hate people that are bossy.
0:04:04 > 0:04:09SO! Do what I say and whatever you do, don't tell her.
0:04:09 > 0:04:15Make sure you turn up to auditions in half an hour or there'll be trouble.
0:04:15 > 0:04:16Got it?
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Ugh!
0:04:22 > 0:04:26A musical, eh? Well, well, well.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35- I hate them!- What? - Musicals, of course!
0:04:35 > 0:04:38- Don't tell me you like them? - Who, me? No.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42I hate the way they form on the end of your nose in winter.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46That's icicles. I'm talking about musicals, Lenny.
0:04:46 > 0:04:51Musicals, they're so silly and unrealistic.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55# I hate how they burst into song all the time
0:04:55 > 0:04:59# It's stupid and it makes me fume
0:04:59 > 0:05:03# Cos one minute they're talking, but here's the crime
0:05:03 > 0:05:09# The next thing you know they're singing some awful show tune
0:05:09 > 0:05:14# I don't care what they tell me, I don't care what they say
0:05:14 > 0:05:18# It just ain't realistic
0:05:18 > 0:05:20# At all
0:05:22 > 0:05:25# All of a sudden we change location
0:05:25 > 0:05:27# For no reason at all
0:05:27 > 0:05:29# Oh, look, there's a nun on vacation
0:05:29 > 0:05:33# We're walking along now but why stop at walking?
0:05:33 > 0:05:39# There's room for a two-step, a waltz while we're talking
0:05:39 > 0:05:42# I don't care what they tell me, I don't care what they say
0:05:42 > 0:05:46# It just ain't realistic at all
0:05:47 > 0:05:50# And then the finale, the big final song
0:05:50 > 0:05:54# We've all got to join in and help sing along
0:05:54 > 0:05:56# But how do I know the words?
0:05:56 > 0:06:01# That doesn't matter!
0:06:02 > 0:06:04# And how do we know these moves?
0:06:04 > 0:06:09# And before we both know it we can hardly believe
0:06:09 > 0:06:17# We're singing together in sweet harmony
0:06:18 > 0:06:21# We don't care what they tell us, we don't care what they say
0:06:21 > 0:06:24# It just ain't realistic
0:06:24 > 0:06:28# At all!
0:06:28 > 0:06:30# It just ain't realistic at all. #
0:06:31 > 0:06:34That's the musicals, and I can promise you
0:06:34 > 0:06:37I won't be auditioning and nothing is going to change my mind.
0:06:37 > 0:06:42By the way, the potential investor is bringing a plus one.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44He's a Hollywood talent scout.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Where's the audition again?
0:06:49 > 0:06:52The character you're auditioning for, the part of Sally.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55She's a tough cookie. Can you be tough, sweetheart?
0:06:55 > 0:06:58- Grrrr!- She's also light.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01Plus, she can pirouette. Good. Now try the line.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06- Hello? Hotel Trubble?- Cut!
0:07:06 > 0:07:08I don't believe it, Sally.
0:07:08 > 0:07:13I need to believe that YOU are a receptionist in the hotel.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17I need YOU to imagine that you are that person.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20- But I AM that person. - That's the spirit! Now show me.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25- Hello? Hotel Trubble? - OK, OK, OK.
0:07:25 > 0:07:29Just go with me on this. I'm going to throw some things out there.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32Do it like you're French.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34- Bonjour!- No. Try it like a doctor. - Hello.
0:07:34 > 0:07:38- She's a receptionist, not a doctor. - But you just...- Never mind. Next!
0:07:40 > 0:07:44Now, Lenny. You're auditioning for the part of...
0:07:44 > 0:07:46..Lenny.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49Lenny's rather a clueless simpleton,
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- doesn't really understand basic concepts.- I don't get it.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55That's perfect! The part is yours.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Oh, yeah!
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Sally, seeing as no one else wants to audition for the part of Sally,
0:08:00 > 0:08:01I'm offering you...
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Not so fast, Buster!
0:08:05 > 0:08:08I just want a chance to audition, like everybody else.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10I don't want any special treatment,
0:08:10 > 0:08:14even though I'm Mr Trubble's girlfriend, and he's your boss,
0:08:14 > 0:08:16- and I could get you sacked. - Fine. See what you got.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21I want to be the most famousest person in the world!
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Listen to what I can do!
0:08:26 > 0:08:28SHE SCREAMS
0:08:28 > 0:08:31That's someone texting me to tell me how brilliant I am!
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Florence the Tractor comes to me for my fashion tips.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36- It's Florence and the Machine! - OK, OK.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39No, Jamie! I'm sorry, but are you going to let her get away with THAT?
0:08:39 > 0:08:42I've made my decision.
0:08:42 > 0:08:46Sally, I'm sorry, sweetheart...
0:08:46 > 0:08:50..but you're not going to have to not be getting up earlier this week
0:08:50 > 0:08:54because you've not been successful in failing to convince me that you're not the right person
0:08:54 > 0:08:56to persuade me not to give you this part.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59What?!
0:08:59 > 0:09:03- You got the part. - SHE SCREAMS
0:09:03 > 0:09:06(SINGS) I'm going to be famous! I'm going to be famous!
0:09:09 > 0:09:12- What do you think you're doing? - You said no special treatment.
0:09:12 > 0:09:16That was just an expression, you mental head!
0:09:16 > 0:09:17I got the part!
0:09:17 > 0:09:20Of course I want special treatment! I want it now!
0:09:20 > 0:09:22Dolly, I'm sorry, sweetheart,
0:09:22 > 0:09:25I don't mean to be rude, but you were really rubbish.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29I got the part!
0:09:29 > 0:09:31I see.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34Let me just tell you something.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37If I'm not in it, you're not allowed to do it.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39The show is cancelled.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44And if I smell so much as a leg warmer...
0:09:44 > 0:09:46I'll tell Mr Trubble.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56Who does he think he is,
0:09:56 > 0:10:00that jumped-up little dumbwit bellboy?!
0:10:00 > 0:10:01I'll teach him!
0:10:03 > 0:10:05PHONE RINGS
0:10:09 > 0:10:11Oh, hello. Lord Lloyd-Blubber,
0:10:11 > 0:10:14famous West End theatre impresario and all-round man about town?
0:10:14 > 0:10:16It is he.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Oh, thank goodness for that!
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Andy, it's Dolly.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Flaming jazz hands!
0:10:22 > 0:10:26- Dolly! My yummy Brummie! - I need to ask you a favour, Andy.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29Ah-ah-ah-ah! It's Your Lordship now.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32Your...Lordship.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34Look, I know you have a glittering career as...
0:10:34 > 0:10:38a famous West End theatre impresario and all-round man about town,
0:10:38 > 0:10:41but I have a little project for you.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44So, our musical's been cancelled.
0:10:44 > 0:10:49Fine. But let me tell you this -
0:10:49 > 0:10:52we're going to carry on rehearsing the musical in secret.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54(What about Dolly?)
0:10:54 > 0:10:57She won't notice! You know what she's like.
0:10:57 > 0:11:02She didn't even notice when we turned the whole hotel into stables.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05Whoa! This place is a pigsty!
0:11:05 > 0:11:07Well, I'm as happy as a pig in...mud!
0:11:07 > 0:11:10So she certainly won't notice this.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13Plus, we'll be very quiet.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17OK, let's get started!
0:11:17 > 0:11:20- Jamie?- Yep. - Can I not just do my song?- No.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23Yeah, but, I don't really get Lenny. I mean, like this -
0:11:23 > 0:11:27it says here on page six, "Lenny immediately falls over."
0:11:27 > 0:11:29That's not realistic! And then there's this -
0:11:29 > 0:11:31"Lenny sees a cream cake
0:11:31 > 0:11:34"and immediately forgets what he was doing."
0:11:34 > 0:11:36I would never do that, and...
0:11:36 > 0:11:38Ooh! A cream cake!
0:11:39 > 0:11:42Right, first positions, everybody.
0:11:42 > 0:11:43Come on! Quickly!
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Dear me, Jamie!
0:11:45 > 0:11:49This directing lark is going to your head, rather.
0:11:49 > 0:11:53I hope you don't start being needlessly mean to everybody.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Of course not! What do you take me for?
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Anyway, you don't need to worry, Mrs P.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00You're too old and unsightly for acting. You're on piano.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05Sirius, you can turn the pages.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09All right, now, scene one,
0:12:09 > 0:12:13all throughout the hotel, silence.
0:12:15 > 0:12:20- What are you all doing in here?! - We're rehearsing.- An auction.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22We're rehearsing an auction.
0:12:22 > 0:12:27Sold! To the old woman on the piano.
0:12:27 > 0:12:28What's happening?
0:12:28 > 0:12:31I don't know, I was as confused doing the musical.
0:12:31 > 0:12:36I knew it! Well, two can play at that game.
0:12:36 > 0:12:41Please welcome the famous West End theatre impresario
0:12:41 > 0:12:45and all-round man about town, Andrew Lloyd Blubber.
0:12:46 > 0:12:51It's Your Lordship. Lord Lloyd Blubber.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57- Tired now, need cake. - How do you like them apples?
0:12:57 > 0:13:01Oh, you brought apples? Please let them be toffee apples.
0:13:01 > 0:13:06- It's a saying, Lenny.- 0h, why must I always be disappointed?
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Wow! Lord Lloyd Blubber.
0:13:09 > 0:13:15You are my all-time favourite West End theatre impresario
0:13:15 > 0:13:18and all-round man about town ever!
0:13:18 > 0:13:21I loved your show The Hound Of Music!
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Teaching that Labradoodle to sing...
0:13:25 > 0:13:29- ..my proudest moment. - What are you doing here?!
0:13:29 > 0:13:32Are you here to direct the musical? Please tell me you are.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35Indeed I am.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Not so fast, missy.
0:13:37 > 0:13:41- Lord Lloyd Blubber is here to direct my musical.- You're doing a musical?
0:13:41 > 0:13:44That's right. Picture it.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46An Audience With Dolly.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52It's going to be sensational.
0:13:52 > 0:13:56So, you continue with your pathetic excuse for a show if you like.
0:13:57 > 0:14:01Come Entertainment Thursday, my musical will thrash yours.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03SHE SCREAMS
0:14:03 > 0:14:05Fine, you're on.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07- YOU'RE on.- YOU'RE on.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Can I be on, too?
0:14:09 > 0:14:13- On what?- You'll come to regret your little challenge, Dolly.
0:14:13 > 0:14:17My show is going to be fantastic.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21Brilliant lyrics with a cast that's 100% committed.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Let me be in your show, please!
0:14:25 > 0:14:27Please, please!
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Sally?
0:14:29 > 0:14:31I'm sorry, Jamie.
0:14:31 > 0:14:35But this show is going to be a smash hit sensation.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37It's got Andy Lloyd Blubber!
0:14:38 > 0:14:42'Scuse me, can we all get this straight - it's Your Lordship.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47Nice try, but no. Come on, Lordy.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50We've got magic to create.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53I hope you're looking forward
0:14:53 > 0:14:56to your professional humiliation, Jamie?
0:14:57 > 0:15:01Please don't leave me with these no-hopers!
0:15:07 > 0:15:11# I've got Trubble on my mind
0:15:12 > 0:15:17# Mr Trubble on my mind
0:15:18 > 0:15:23# I'm just a woman of a certain age
0:15:23 > 0:15:26# He's just a man
0:15:26 > 0:15:28# What is his age?
0:15:28 > 0:15:30# Well I guess he's the wrong side of 68... #
0:15:35 > 0:15:39- How was that?- Terrible! Shocking!
0:15:39 > 0:15:43- I knew it.- Sorry, I was just listening to the football results.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46As for your performance, Dolly, dearest,
0:15:46 > 0:15:48here are my notes.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51We're going to need
0:15:51 > 0:15:55some golden statues.
0:15:55 > 0:16:00- What? - Some lovely golden statues of me.
0:16:00 > 0:16:08No set looks complete without at least 25 golden statues.
0:16:08 > 0:16:12Every West End show has them. Cats has 50.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15What about the table? Shouldn't I fix that before we...?
0:16:15 > 0:16:17WE are doing a show,
0:16:17 > 0:16:19not some table party!
0:16:19 > 0:16:22We need to splash out.
0:16:22 > 0:16:26- Splash out. - That's what the audience expects.
0:16:27 > 0:16:32Didn't you mention something about the Hotel Trubble emergency fund?
0:16:32 > 0:16:37Yeah, I'm not meant to touch that, you see, Mr Trubble would be angry.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41Angry? Well, in that case,
0:16:41 > 0:16:44hello, is that Starlight Express?
0:16:44 > 0:16:47Yes, I think I will be free now.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49No! OK!
0:16:49 > 0:16:53As long as we can pay it back at the end out of the ticket sales.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Magnifico. Scene 42.
0:16:55 > 0:16:59- Sally!- OK, so you said there wasn't a part for me, but...
0:16:59 > 0:17:04- What is going on?- I really want a part! I can do anything.
0:17:04 > 0:17:08Come to think of it, there could be a part,
0:17:08 > 0:17:10a very small one,
0:17:10 > 0:17:13but a very, very important part.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Yes!
0:17:16 > 0:17:18But Lord Lloyd Blubber...
0:17:18 > 0:17:22Trust me, Dolly dearest.
0:17:22 > 0:17:26I am after all a famous theatre impresario and man about town.
0:17:26 > 0:17:27Remember?
0:17:30 > 0:17:33OK, team, we're one down.
0:17:33 > 0:17:37You all witnessed what happened with Sally. I wish her well.
0:17:37 > 0:17:44OK, scene nine. Listen, Sally, shhh.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48I will hush your mouth with a...
0:17:48 > 0:17:49with a kiss.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51# Wise men say... #
0:17:51 > 0:17:53With a kiss.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59# ..Only fools rush in
0:18:02 > 0:18:04# But I can't help... #
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Oh, no, I can't watch this.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09And I can't do it. I quit!
0:18:09 > 0:18:12This script is the biggest load of guff!
0:18:16 > 0:18:19# I've got trouble on my mind
0:18:19 > 0:18:23# I call him to tell him I think he's the one
0:18:23 > 0:18:26# He phones me right back
0:18:26 > 0:18:29# Oh great, are those invoices done?
0:18:29 > 0:18:34# I tell him he's special
0:18:34 > 0:18:37# The best guy by far
0:18:37 > 0:18:40# But he'd just says the hotel
0:18:40 > 0:18:48# Needs one extra star-ar-ar
0:18:48 > 0:18:52# Oh, Trubbly wubbly... # Oi!
0:18:52 > 0:18:55# While crouching down I'm on all fours
0:18:55 > 0:18:59# While she's the one that he adores
0:18:59 > 0:19:03# I'm a table leg that feels neglected
0:19:03 > 0:19:07# Why can't my talent be respected? #
0:19:09 > 0:19:11Cut music!
0:19:11 > 0:19:15How dare you improvise during my song?
0:19:15 > 0:19:20Dolly! This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me
0:19:20 > 0:19:24and I'm wasting it being a quarter of a piece of furniture!
0:19:24 > 0:19:27Please, Andy! I mean, please Lord,
0:19:27 > 0:19:29find me another part.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32Oh, she's right, Dolly, love,
0:19:32 > 0:19:34we'll find her something else.
0:19:34 > 0:19:39I am not going to be upstaged by her during my show!
0:19:39 > 0:19:42I promise you, she won't.
0:19:42 > 0:19:48And must I do everything myself? Can we get some emerald swans?
0:19:48 > 0:19:51It's all looking very bare in here.
0:19:53 > 0:19:57Lenny, so, you're now playing a number of characters. Sally.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00- Hello, my lovely.- Mr Trubble.
0:20:00 > 0:20:01HE BABBLES
0:20:01 > 0:20:04- Mrs Poshington.- Hello, my lovely.
0:20:04 > 0:20:08- And of course, Lenny. - I still don't get him.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11You're going to need a whole lot of training.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Nevertheless, I shall persevere.
0:20:14 > 0:20:18It ain't over until the man dressed as an unconvincing woman sings.
0:20:18 > 0:20:23- Are you saying I can do my song? - No. We will stick to the script.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25From the top, if you will.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31- Read it out loud! - All right. Calm down!
0:20:31 > 0:20:33I can't stand it any more!
0:20:33 > 0:20:37I can't work like this with such...such idiots!
0:20:37 > 0:20:42- Don't listen to him. I think you're doing a great job.- You!
0:20:42 > 0:20:46I'm talking about you! That's it. You know what? You're fired!
0:20:46 > 0:20:51I'll make it a one-man musical and I'll still demolish the opposition.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53You see if I don't!
0:21:00 > 0:21:03Glad you all saw sense and quit Jamie's show.
0:21:03 > 0:21:07An audience with Dolly will show off your talents quite nicely.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15Oh, Sally, I'm so glad you're happy with your new part.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18Every show needs a fruit bowl.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21So, loves, we open tomorrow.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23How's everybody feeling?
0:21:23 > 0:21:26So excited! It's only 24 hours
0:21:26 > 0:21:29until Trubbly Wubbly will know how diva-tastic I am.
0:21:30 > 0:21:35Now, there's just one last tiny, teeny-weeny thing I...
0:21:35 > 0:21:37er - WE - need.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39A getaway car.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41A getaway car?
0:21:41 > 0:21:44Why would this show need a getaway car?
0:21:44 > 0:21:49Well, you're going to have to sign so many autographs at the stage door
0:21:49 > 0:21:54there'll be a crush and you'll need a very good getaway car.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56Do you think I'm going to be that popular?
0:21:56 > 0:22:00Oh, the people are going to love your...thick hair.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03I'm just certain of it.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05But that will use up all the emergency fund.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Hello. Is that the Phantom Of the Opera?
0:22:10 > 0:22:14No! I'll go and get the car.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18Brilliant, mon ami. Everybody take five.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21- Lord Lloyd Blubber?- Do I know you?
0:22:21 > 0:22:25Yes. I'm in the show. I wanted to talk to you, if that's OK?
0:22:25 > 0:22:27Well, that depends -
0:22:27 > 0:22:29do you have any cake?
0:22:29 > 0:22:33- No.- Well, I'm sorry, I'm going to have to go.
0:22:33 > 0:22:37It's half past sponge.
0:22:45 > 0:22:49# I hear this voice, it's deep inside
0:22:49 > 0:22:53# It's telling me to keep on trying
0:22:53 > 0:22:57# But everybody laughs at me
0:22:57 > 0:23:01# And says I should give in
0:23:01 > 0:23:05# But I'm sick of doing what I'm told
0:23:05 > 0:23:09# Oh, sick of feeling nine years old
0:23:09 > 0:23:18# Stopping now I ain't going to be pushed around
0:23:18 > 0:23:21# I'm gonna make my mark
0:23:21 > 0:23:23# A real big hitter
0:23:23 > 0:23:26# Be the most popular person on Twitter
0:23:26 > 0:23:29# A Z-list celebrity
0:23:29 > 0:23:32# An obnoxious, stroppy VIP
0:23:32 > 0:23:35# I'm going to make my mark Things will change
0:23:35 > 0:23:39# I'm going to get my own supermarket clothing range
0:23:39 > 0:23:44# No-one's gonna tear my dreams apart
0:23:44 > 0:23:47# I'm going to make my mark
0:23:52 > 0:23:54# I'm gonna write my column in Heat
0:23:54 > 0:23:58# Pay six buff guys just to wash my feet
0:23:58 > 0:24:01# I'm gonna live my life like a queen
0:24:01 > 0:24:05# With my prince and my Jag and my pink limousine
0:24:05 > 0:24:07# Oh-oh-oh
0:24:07 > 0:24:15# I'm gonna make my mark. #
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Eh!
0:24:23 > 0:24:26SHE SCREAMS
0:24:28 > 0:24:31- What is it?!- Everything's gone!
0:24:32 > 0:24:35Guys, you better take a look at this.
0:24:36 > 0:24:40- Oh, it can't be! - I know, a cat playing snooker!
0:24:40 > 0:24:42No, not that, the front page, Lenny!
0:24:45 > 0:24:49- Wow! Looks just like Hotel Trubble. - BOTH: It IS Hotel Trubble.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51Wow.
0:24:51 > 0:24:57- You still thinking about the cat? - How does it know about the colours?!
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Can't believe Lord Lloyd Blubber would do such a thing.
0:24:59 > 0:25:03All the money's gone, the emergency fund. The investor will be here
0:25:03 > 0:25:06in five minutes and we don't have a show.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Aren't you forgetting my show?
0:25:08 > 0:25:11You were wrong to underestimate me, Dolly.
0:25:11 > 0:25:15I guarantee my musical will not only get all the money back,
0:25:15 > 0:25:19it'll make thousands more in CD sales. It's that good.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22Jamie, you're the only person left in your show.
0:25:22 > 0:25:26It'll be an unmitigated disaster. People will pelt fruit and veg.
0:25:26 > 0:25:32Oh, you think so?! Then let me prove you wrong once and for all.
0:25:34 > 0:25:38Never fear, it is I, Jamie.
0:25:38 > 0:25:42- the handsome soon-to-be manager bellboy.- Boo!
0:25:42 > 0:25:47I have been in my office doing important work for the hotel.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50This is nonsense! He's making a fool of himself.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52At least he hasn't been hit by a lettuce.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01I take it all back. I should've never got...
0:26:01 > 0:26:04so carried away with my own self-importance.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08And I shouldn't have put on this awful show.
0:26:08 > 0:26:13- Can I stop being hit by food now, please?- What are we going to do?
0:26:13 > 0:26:15Don't worry, Dolly, I'll take it from here.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23# Sometimes we let things get us down
0:26:25 > 0:26:30# Sometimes the world can make us wear a frown
0:26:30 > 0:26:34# But I've got a treat that you can't ignore
0:26:35 > 0:26:39# Learnt how to do it when I was born
0:26:39 > 0:26:42# First you take one finger
0:26:42 > 0:26:44# Then you take another finger
0:26:44 > 0:26:46# Then you take another finger
0:26:46 > 0:26:50# Then you take the rest of your fingers and shove them in your mouth
0:26:51 > 0:26:55# And now you've stuck your fingers inside your mouth
0:26:56 > 0:27:00# Munching on your hands is what it's all about
0:27:00 > 0:27:05# Tell me how this world could be a stressful place
0:27:05 > 0:27:09# When you've got all your fingers
0:27:09 > 0:27:10# Stuffed in your face
0:27:19 > 0:27:22# We've got a treat that you can't ignore
0:27:24 > 0:27:27# Learnt how to do it when we were born
0:27:28 > 0:27:33# We've stuffed all our fingers inside our mouths
0:27:33 > 0:27:35# Munching on your hands
0:27:35 > 0:27:37# Is what it's all about
0:27:37 > 0:27:43# Tell me how this world could be a stressful place
0:27:43 > 0:27:46# When you've got all your fingers
0:27:46 > 0:27:49# Stuffed in your face. #
0:27:49 > 0:27:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:06 > 0:28:09Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:09 > 0:28:12E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk