Queen Mu

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:02 > 0:00:04GENTLE MUSIC

0:00:10 > 0:00:14I'm sleeping on this boiled egg...

0:00:17 > 0:00:19DISCORDANT MUSIC

0:00:20 > 0:00:23That's me - Rufus Hound.

0:00:25 > 0:00:26I'm a television presenter...

0:00:28 > 0:00:30..and every day I save the world.

0:00:30 > 0:00:31Ah!

0:00:31 > 0:00:37See him? Well, this ugly dipstick is the evil Dr Muhaha...

0:00:37 > 0:00:39It's pronounced "Muhahaha".

0:00:39 > 0:00:41..and his geeky sidekick, Steve.

0:00:41 > 0:00:43Shall I?

0:00:44 > 0:00:48Every day he comes up with some new plan to conquer us,

0:00:48 > 0:00:50and every day I stop him.

0:00:51 > 0:00:55What? Someone's got to do it. And that's not the half of it.

0:00:55 > 0:00:58If, at the end of the day, I have beaten him, well,

0:00:58 > 0:01:02he just hits rewind, and the whole day goes back to the beginning.

0:01:02 > 0:01:03FAST REWIND

0:01:05 > 0:01:08GENTLE MUSIC

0:01:09 > 0:01:11Not again!

0:01:11 > 0:01:12Whoa!

0:01:13 > 0:01:15Right, off to my first day at work...

0:01:15 > 0:01:17again.

0:01:17 > 0:01:20So, you'd think I'd know exactly what's going to happen.

0:01:22 > 0:01:23Morning.

0:01:23 > 0:01:25Unfortunately, it's not always that simple,

0:01:25 > 0:01:29because Dr Mu's always coming up with a new plan.

0:01:29 > 0:01:33Luckily, whatever world I'm in, these two always turn up to help.

0:01:33 > 0:01:36The only thing is, I never know what they're going to look like.

0:01:37 > 0:01:41Last, but by no means least, is this good-looking chap.

0:01:41 > 0:01:44That's me, from years ahead in the future.

0:01:44 > 0:01:46Future Rufus likes to think he's helping,

0:01:46 > 0:01:50but sometimes I'm not so sure it's not his fault I'm in this mess.

0:01:50 > 0:01:53So that's it, in a nutshell.

0:01:53 > 0:01:56You never know, maybe one day I'll wake up, and it'll be tomorrow.

0:01:56 > 0:01:58BIRD CAWS

0:02:00 > 0:02:03Or, at the very least, I'll remember about that bird.

0:02:17 > 0:02:19OINKING

0:02:27 > 0:02:29Everybody relax - I'm here.

0:02:29 > 0:02:31Oh, it's the new guy! Hi there, I'm Gill.

0:02:31 > 0:02:33Hiya, I'm Barry.

0:02:33 > 0:02:36That's odd - have I met you before?

0:02:36 > 0:02:39I am not the Hound you're looking for.

0:02:39 > 0:02:43Right, well, come on then, we haven't got all day.

0:02:44 > 0:02:46DIRECTOR: 30 seconds to show time.

0:02:48 > 0:02:50So, this experiment?

0:02:50 > 0:02:55It involves this, the world's most advanced X-ray machine.

0:02:55 > 0:02:57- Now, all you have to do is... - Ten seconds.

0:02:57 > 0:02:58Don't worry, you'll be fine.

0:03:00 > 0:03:02What? Where...? How does it work?

0:03:02 > 0:03:06And in five, four, three...

0:03:06 > 0:03:08Ah!

0:03:08 > 0:03:09On air.

0:03:13 > 0:03:15Hello and welcome to FunLab.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17The show that puts the fizz into physics...

0:03:17 > 0:03:21- The mystery into chemistry... - And the "oh, gee" into biology.

0:03:21 > 0:03:25Kicking off today's experiment is brand-new presenter Richard Hound.

0:03:27 > 0:03:31Let me introduce you to the world's greatest X-ray machine.

0:03:31 > 0:03:35Yes, for years, scientists have used different types of radiation...

0:03:35 > 0:03:38'And just as I'm getting going, my meddling future self

0:03:38 > 0:03:40'turns up to ruin my day.'

0:03:42 > 0:03:45You stand in front of it, and it will tell you all the germs,

0:03:45 > 0:03:48all the bacteria that are active inside your body.

0:03:48 > 0:03:51But it won't tell you when your watch goes mad

0:03:51 > 0:03:55and blasts you through a wormhole in time and space.

0:03:55 > 0:03:58Shame, that could have been useful. Whoa!

0:03:58 > 0:04:00Rudolf?

0:04:04 > 0:04:08'We have a technical hitch. FunLab will resume shortly.'

0:04:12 > 0:04:15MUSIC: "It's Not Over Yet" by Klaxons

0:04:18 > 0:04:20Ooh! Look at me!

0:04:20 > 0:04:24I'm the most brilliant genius in the multiverse

0:04:24 > 0:04:27and I still can't tie my shoelaces properly!

0:04:27 > 0:04:30Mu-ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:04:30 > 0:04:34Bossing my assistant around, even though I'd be nothing without her.

0:04:34 > 0:04:36- MU:- You'd be nothing without who?

0:04:36 > 0:04:38Er... You, sir.

0:04:38 > 0:04:40I'd be nothing without you.

0:04:40 > 0:04:43Oh, Steve. I wouldn't say you'd be nothing without me.

0:04:43 > 0:04:46- No, sir?- Goodness, no!

0:04:46 > 0:04:49You'd simply be a worthless piece of scum.

0:04:49 > 0:04:54A rancid lump of pus festering on the backside of humanity.

0:04:54 > 0:04:58- But that's not nothing.- Yes, sir.

0:04:58 > 0:05:00Thank you, sir.

0:05:00 > 0:05:02So now I'm off to meet my future self,

0:05:02 > 0:05:05so he can send me on some harebrained mission.

0:05:10 > 0:05:11- Whew!- Boo!

0:05:11 > 0:05:15Nnng! Do not creep up on me like that!

0:05:15 > 0:05:18- You're the one doing the creeping up.- I never even moved!

0:05:18 > 0:05:21Yeah, but I'm you from the future,

0:05:21 > 0:05:23so really, you're creeping up on yourself,

0:05:23 > 0:05:26which makes it all the more surprising that...

0:05:26 > 0:05:27you nearly jumped out of your skin.

0:05:27 > 0:05:29I did not nearly jump out of my skin.

0:05:29 > 0:05:33Anyway, we haven't got time for all this. We've got to save the Earth.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35Now, here, take this.

0:05:36 > 0:05:40- What is it? - Next week's lottery numbers.

0:05:40 > 0:05:44- Really?- No, it's a breath spray! Use it wisely.

0:05:44 > 0:05:46- Fine. I will.- And remember,

0:05:46 > 0:05:48I don't want to have to come back

0:05:48 > 0:05:50two-thirds of the way through the episode and remind you.

0:05:50 > 0:05:52- All right!- Goodbye.

0:06:02 > 0:06:06- OK. Systems check. - Are the pictures still clear?

0:06:06 > 0:06:08Yes. Clear as a bell.

0:06:13 > 0:06:17Right. I've just got to get the hang of these controls...

0:06:17 > 0:06:19Try shaking her head.

0:06:19 > 0:06:21Yes...

0:06:23 > 0:06:24MU CHUCKLES

0:06:24 > 0:06:26Ha! That seems simple enough.

0:06:26 > 0:06:27CLATTER

0:06:27 > 0:06:29Keith, is that you?

0:06:29 > 0:06:31Yes...

0:06:33 > 0:06:35And nodding...

0:06:35 > 0:06:39Up and down.

0:06:39 > 0:06:41Yes. She works fine.

0:06:44 > 0:06:46Now, what's the plan?

0:06:47 > 0:06:50- You mean, you don't know? - Of course I know the plan!

0:06:50 > 0:06:54I just want you to tell me so I can revel in my genius.

0:06:54 > 0:06:56HE LAUGHS

0:06:56 > 0:06:57Begin.

0:06:57 > 0:07:00You've managed to shrink yourself down

0:07:00 > 0:07:03to the size of a single bacteria

0:07:03 > 0:07:06using a specially modified washing machine.

0:07:06 > 0:07:10It's not a washing machine, it's a microscopifier.

0:07:10 > 0:07:12Nothing like a washing machine, is it?

0:07:14 > 0:07:16No. Nothing at all(!)

0:07:17 > 0:07:18Continue.

0:07:18 > 0:07:23And now, microscopically small, you've transported yourself into the body of...

0:07:23 > 0:07:25Queen Gertrude.

0:07:25 > 0:07:26HE CHUCKLES

0:07:26 > 0:07:31You now have total control over her every move and utterance.

0:07:31 > 0:07:33HE CHUCKLES

0:07:33 > 0:07:37Now all you need to do is take over from every leader in the world

0:07:37 > 0:07:40until you've taken over the whole planet.

0:07:40 > 0:07:42MU CHUCKLES

0:07:42 > 0:07:43I'm a genius.

0:07:43 > 0:07:47You've already taken over the powers of the Genovian government.

0:07:47 > 0:07:49- CLATTER - Precisely.

0:07:49 > 0:07:52One down, 11 to go.

0:07:52 > 0:07:54- 11?- Oh, yes.

0:07:54 > 0:07:58Then I shall rule all 12 countries on Earth.

0:07:58 > 0:08:03There are more than 12 countries on the Earth, sir.

0:08:03 > 0:08:04There are?!

0:08:04 > 0:08:06I mean... I mean, there are.

0:08:06 > 0:08:08Of course there are.

0:08:08 > 0:08:11- How many?- 195.

0:08:11 > 0:08:13195?!

0:08:13 > 0:08:16- Oh...- Yep.

0:08:16 > 0:08:18So be it.

0:08:18 > 0:08:20Continue.

0:08:20 > 0:08:23Your plan is to invite the world leaders to Genovia.

0:08:23 > 0:08:27You'll then put sleeping potion in their drink.

0:08:27 > 0:08:29When they all fall asleep, you'll instruct the Genovian army

0:08:29 > 0:08:32- to invade their countries.- Genius!

0:08:32 > 0:08:36Unopposed, they'll be powerless to order their armies to do anything.

0:08:36 > 0:08:41By the end of the day, power over the Earth will be ours.

0:08:41 > 0:08:43Er...mine.

0:08:43 > 0:08:45Yours.

0:08:46 > 0:08:48Just make sure you stay in the Queen's body till it's all done.

0:08:48 > 0:08:51If you leave the body for more than a few seconds,

0:08:51 > 0:08:54you'll go back to normal size and the plan will be ruined.

0:08:54 > 0:08:56Shut up, Steve!

0:08:57 > 0:09:02'Right, so all I have to do is get into the Queen's body

0:09:02 > 0:09:05'and find a way of getting Mu out.'

0:09:09 > 0:09:11Oh, if you're putting the washing machine on,

0:09:11 > 0:09:13can you wash me some underpants?

0:09:13 > 0:09:16I got a bit scared during the transportation process

0:09:16 > 0:09:18and I, um...

0:09:18 > 0:09:20(made a bit of a mess.)

0:09:25 > 0:09:28- Oh, that is not pleasant.- Hm-mm.

0:09:28 > 0:09:30GURGLING

0:09:30 > 0:09:32I hardly think it's your place to say whether it is or it isn't.

0:09:32 > 0:09:35IN POSH VOICE: Oh, I'm so sorry. To whom am I speaking?

0:09:35 > 0:09:39- We're Her Majesty's brain cells. - So, this is the brain?

0:09:39 > 0:09:42No, this is a stomach. We've been evicted from the brain.

0:09:42 > 0:09:43What?!

0:09:43 > 0:09:46We woke up this morning to find the door boarded shut.

0:09:46 > 0:09:49- A sign outside saying "No entry". - And another saying "You smell".

0:09:49 > 0:09:53So we've been trying to find other cells to help us, but they don't quite get it.

0:09:53 > 0:09:56Not quite as clever as us. We are brain cells.

0:09:56 > 0:09:58Yeah...you said.

0:09:58 > 0:10:01The thing about brain cells, though - if we're not used, we die.

0:10:01 > 0:10:04Give us a day and we'll probably not exist any more.

0:10:04 > 0:10:05We need to find out what's happened.

0:10:05 > 0:10:09- Muhahahaha.- Oh, I'm glad you find it amusing.

0:10:09 > 0:10:11- No, no.- Oh yes! You have a right old giggle,

0:10:11 > 0:10:14- but I need to know who's responsible.- Muhahahaha.

0:10:14 > 0:10:17It's not funny! We could die in two days.

0:10:17 > 0:10:18I'm trying to tell you who's behind it.

0:10:18 > 0:10:20- Who?- Muhahaha.

0:10:20 > 0:10:21Stop laughing.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23No, I'm trying to tell you who's fault it is!

0:10:23 > 0:10:24- Whose is it?- Muhahaha!

0:10:24 > 0:10:27Yah!

0:10:27 > 0:10:30The evil Dr Muhaha, a massive megalomaniac -

0:10:30 > 0:10:32- he's the one responsible.- Oh.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35He's taken over the Queen's body as part of a plan

0:10:35 > 0:10:37to take over the world.

0:10:38 > 0:10:40- Do you see?- See what?

0:10:40 > 0:10:41- Who's responsible.- Who's that?

0:10:41 > 0:10:43Muhahahahahaha.

0:10:43 > 0:10:44CRUNCH

0:10:44 > 0:10:46Nnnaaaagggghhh...!

0:10:47 > 0:10:50CLASSICAL MUSIC

0:11:00 > 0:11:04Right. The guests are all here.

0:11:04 > 0:11:06Now to put the sleeping powder

0:11:06 > 0:11:10into the drinks. Back, back...

0:11:10 > 0:11:12Ooh!

0:11:13 > 0:11:16Back, that's it, that's it. Come on.

0:11:18 > 0:11:20Argh! Not left... Right!

0:11:21 > 0:11:23GLASS BREAKS

0:11:23 > 0:11:25Ooh!

0:11:32 > 0:11:35CLATTER

0:11:40 > 0:11:41Let's get the powder.

0:11:44 > 0:11:46HE CHUCKLES

0:11:47 > 0:11:50HE LAUGHS

0:11:56 > 0:12:00Ah. That's more like it.

0:12:03 > 0:12:05Your Majesty?

0:12:05 > 0:12:07Thank you so much for a truly wonderful party.

0:12:07 > 0:12:10Not at all, Prime Minister.

0:12:10 > 0:12:12There is just one tiny thing, though.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14I'm sure it's a mistake,

0:12:14 > 0:12:17but our generals are telling us that your armed forces

0:12:17 > 0:12:19are massing on our borders.

0:12:19 > 0:12:22Some idiots are spreading rumours

0:12:22 > 0:12:26that you're planning a mass invasion of all our countries.

0:12:26 > 0:12:27MU AND QUEEN LAUGH

0:12:27 > 0:12:30A mass invasion? No, no, no.

0:12:30 > 0:12:32They are merely photographers.

0:12:32 > 0:12:35I send them to your country to take photographs.

0:12:35 > 0:12:37I see.

0:12:37 > 0:12:39Um...can I ask why?

0:12:39 > 0:12:42Because your countries are so very beautiful.

0:12:42 > 0:12:45So why are they carrying guns?

0:12:46 > 0:12:48They are not guns.

0:12:48 > 0:12:52They are just long, pointy cameras.

0:12:52 > 0:12:54Well, that seems fine, then.

0:12:54 > 0:12:56Stupid Prime Minister!

0:12:56 > 0:12:58If you will excuse me.

0:13:01 > 0:13:04- Look!- 100 centimetres.

0:13:04 > 0:13:05That's 1,000 millimetres,

0:13:05 > 0:13:0910 decametres, one-thousandth of a kilometre or one metre.

0:13:09 > 0:13:12It's described as a distance that light travels

0:13:12 > 0:13:16in 1299,792,458th of a second.

0:13:16 > 0:13:18Are you two always like this?

0:13:18 > 0:13:20We're brain cells, aren't we? All we do is think.

0:13:20 > 0:13:23Yes, but you're brain cells, not mouth cells,

0:13:23 > 0:13:24so you could think quietly.

0:13:26 > 0:13:29Quietly? A word that originates from the Latin for...

0:13:29 > 0:13:31The Latin for shut up.

0:13:31 > 0:13:33CLASSICAL MUSIC

0:13:33 > 0:13:36INDISTINCT CHATTER

0:13:36 > 0:13:38Genovia's palaces really are beautiful.

0:13:38 > 0:13:41They are not Genovia's, they are mine.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43Everything is mine.

0:13:43 > 0:13:47- All mine.- All mine!

0:13:47 > 0:13:49MU AND QUEEN LAUGH WILDLY

0:13:51 > 0:13:52Ooh...

0:13:52 > 0:13:56So, this is Genovia's national drink.

0:13:56 > 0:13:58Pickled sprout juice.

0:13:58 > 0:14:03Please, everybody, drink. To Genovia!

0:14:03 > 0:14:05ALL: To Genovia!

0:14:11 > 0:14:13We've been walking for ages.

0:14:13 > 0:14:16How long does it take to travel a metre?

0:14:16 > 0:14:19Quite a while when you're only a few nanometres tall.

0:14:19 > 0:14:22- Fair point. Where are we?- No idea.

0:14:22 > 0:14:24BURP!

0:14:24 > 0:14:27WIND WHOOSHES

0:14:27 > 0:14:29Ooh!

0:14:29 > 0:14:31Better out than in!

0:14:33 > 0:14:34What on Earth was that?

0:14:34 > 0:14:36Why wasn't I warned?

0:14:36 > 0:14:37Something's going on.

0:14:43 > 0:14:46MUSIC: "Rabbit Heart" by Florence & The Machine

0:14:46 > 0:14:47Steve!

0:14:47 > 0:14:50- MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY - Yes, sir?

0:14:50 > 0:14:52What's going on? There's something wrong with this woman.

0:14:52 > 0:14:56Just don't tell me that pesky Rufus Hound has anything to do with this!

0:14:56 > 0:14:58OK.

0:14:58 > 0:15:02- Are you there?- Yes.

0:15:02 > 0:15:03Well, why have you gone quiet?

0:15:03 > 0:15:05You told me not to tell you.

0:15:05 > 0:15:08You mean Hound is involved? Where?

0:15:08 > 0:15:12- Round about the left arm, sir. - You idiot!

0:15:13 > 0:15:17- I think we may be lost.- Curses!

0:15:17 > 0:15:20We've got to get to Mu before he can launch the invasion.

0:15:20 > 0:15:22Let's see how he copes with this.

0:15:22 > 0:15:24Oh! CHUCKLES

0:15:24 > 0:15:26Oh...

0:15:26 > 0:15:30- Oh!- I'm sorry, Prime Minister, I... - Ah!

0:15:30 > 0:15:32- Take that.- Oh!

0:15:32 > 0:15:35- I have a bit of a problem.- Oh!

0:15:35 > 0:15:36Ah!

0:15:36 > 0:15:37- And that.- Wah!

0:15:37 > 0:15:40That's... Phew.

0:15:42 > 0:15:43I am so sorry.

0:15:43 > 0:15:45I have a bad arm.

0:15:45 > 0:15:47Follow that artery!

0:15:50 > 0:15:51HE CHUCKLES

0:15:51 > 0:15:53DISTANT LAUGHTER

0:15:53 > 0:15:57- So, where are we?- Well, if my calculations are correct...

0:15:57 > 0:16:01then I think...think...

0:16:01 > 0:16:03we're in the Queen's body.

0:16:03 > 0:16:05Nice work, Einstein(!)

0:16:05 > 0:16:08I actually meant where in the Queen's body are we?

0:16:08 > 0:16:10Oh! Oh, no idea, then.

0:16:10 > 0:16:12What's everyone laughing at?

0:16:12 > 0:16:14Oh! I know!

0:16:14 > 0:16:15We must be in the funny bone!

0:16:15 > 0:16:17Oh, brilliant!

0:16:18 > 0:16:22What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

0:16:24 > 0:16:25Cliff!

0:16:25 > 0:16:28LAUGHTER

0:16:28 > 0:16:29Dearie me.

0:16:29 > 0:16:33I thought you two were meant to be brain cells. This is rubbish.

0:16:33 > 0:16:36Seriously, this is no laughing matter,

0:16:36 > 0:16:39we're miles away, we can't stop Mu from here.

0:16:39 > 0:16:43Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.

0:16:43 > 0:16:48I wish this bloke would shut up. He's getting right on my nerve...

0:16:48 > 0:16:50Well, pull yourself together!

0:16:50 > 0:16:51- LAUGHTER - Yes!

0:16:51 > 0:16:53Nerves!

0:16:53 > 0:16:55Of course! That's it!

0:16:55 > 0:16:57Oh, brilliant! What is?

0:16:57 > 0:17:00These red slimy things, dangling down,

0:17:00 > 0:17:02they're nerve endings. There are loads around the funny bone.

0:17:02 > 0:17:04- Are there?- Yeah.

0:17:04 > 0:17:08You know when you bang your elbow, and you get that sort of funny jolt?

0:17:08 > 0:17:10Well, you wouldn't, because you're brain cells,

0:17:10 > 0:17:12but trust me, it happens.

0:17:12 > 0:17:15And it's all to do with the nerve endings around the elbow.

0:17:15 > 0:17:18We control the nerve endings, we control the arm.

0:17:18 > 0:17:21Well, here goes.

0:17:23 > 0:17:24Oh!

0:17:26 > 0:17:27Oh, dear!

0:17:29 > 0:17:33Dear, dear! Oh, dear me!

0:17:33 > 0:17:34Do excuse me, Prime Minister.

0:17:34 > 0:17:39It's an old Genovian tradition, we always slap our guests hard

0:17:39 > 0:17:41in the face.

0:17:42 > 0:17:45Oh! Dear, dear, dear!

0:17:47 > 0:17:48Do excuse me.

0:17:48 > 0:17:51Oh, Hound!

0:17:52 > 0:17:56Ah, this calls for something sneaky.

0:17:57 > 0:18:02Rufus, I know you're here, it's me, Mu.

0:18:02 > 0:18:07Now, I know we don't normally get on, but all this fighting is silly.

0:18:07 > 0:18:12Come up to the brain and let's settle this like adults. Hmm?

0:18:12 > 0:18:15Call it a truce.

0:18:15 > 0:18:18A truce?! Does he honestly think I'm going to trust him?

0:18:18 > 0:18:20- Well said.- Yeah.

0:18:20 > 0:18:23I wasn't born yesterday. He must be mad if he thinks I'm going up there.

0:18:23 > 0:18:25Hear, hear.

0:18:25 > 0:18:29See you soon. Oh, unless of course,

0:18:29 > 0:18:31you don't dare!

0:18:31 > 0:18:34- What?! Right, I'll show him.- No!

0:18:34 > 0:18:37Nobody calls me a coward and gets away with it!

0:18:37 > 0:18:40But that's what he wants! Trust us! We're brain cells!

0:18:40 > 0:18:44And not just any brain cells. We're royal brain cells, which makes us even cleverer.

0:18:44 > 0:18:48- Does it?- Oh, yes. Just think of all the clever,

0:18:48 > 0:18:51brainy things royalty have done down the line. There's, erm...

0:18:51 > 0:18:54Erm...there's...

0:18:54 > 0:18:57No. Um, or...erm...

0:19:00 > 0:19:01Oh!

0:19:06 > 0:19:09GENTLE, SLEEPY MUSIC

0:19:09 > 0:19:12Gosh, what a...lovely lullaby.

0:19:14 > 0:19:16It's not a lullaby.

0:19:16 > 0:19:18It's traditional Genovian music.

0:19:20 > 0:19:22Is it?

0:19:22 > 0:19:25Are you sure you're not sending us all to sleep so you can...

0:19:25 > 0:19:27invade our countries?

0:19:27 > 0:19:28SHE LAUGHS

0:19:32 > 0:19:35HE CRASHES

0:19:35 > 0:19:38GENTLE, SLEEPY MUSIC

0:19:47 > 0:19:50I can't go on anymore!

0:19:50 > 0:19:52Yeah, you can.

0:19:52 > 0:19:55I'm so weak. Leave us behind.

0:19:55 > 0:19:57Speak for yourself.

0:19:59 > 0:20:00Look, we're almost there.

0:20:00 > 0:20:02We're at the nose.

0:20:02 > 0:20:05I give you my word, nothing bad is going to happen to you.

0:20:08 > 0:20:10When I give somebody my word

0:20:10 > 0:20:13that nothing bad is going to happen to them, then no...

0:20:14 > 0:20:16WHOOSHING What's that smell?

0:20:16 > 0:20:20It smells like pepper.

0:20:20 > 0:20:21Ooh!

0:20:21 > 0:20:23Don't! You should hold on!

0:20:23 > 0:20:25Why?

0:20:25 > 0:20:28Ooh...ooh...choo!

0:20:28 > 0:20:31TINY VOICE CRIES

0:20:33 > 0:20:36LOUD PANTING IN BACKGROUND

0:20:36 > 0:20:41Well...I don't know how I managed it,

0:20:41 > 0:20:44but I'm in the brain. Brilliant!

0:20:44 > 0:20:49Her Majesty is a lot shorter than you think. Right, then, where's Mu?

0:20:50 > 0:20:53Yeah, just as I thought, he's scarpered.

0:20:53 > 0:20:56Right, time to get into the banqueting room,

0:20:56 > 0:20:58wake up the world leaders,

0:20:58 > 0:21:01send them home and ruin Mu's plan.

0:21:01 > 0:21:03Right.

0:21:11 > 0:21:12DOG BARKS

0:21:12 > 0:21:14Whoa! Wah!

0:21:16 > 0:21:18DOG BARKS

0:21:27 > 0:21:29DOG BARKS

0:21:29 > 0:21:31Right.

0:21:31 > 0:21:33Excuse me!

0:21:35 > 0:21:36Oh.

0:21:38 > 0:21:40Excuse me!

0:21:40 > 0:21:42DOG BARKS

0:21:42 > 0:21:44Wakey, wake...

0:21:44 > 0:21:47DOG BARKS

0:21:49 > 0:21:52There's the Queen! But if that's the Queen, then...

0:21:52 > 0:21:53who am I in?

0:21:53 > 0:21:55DOG BARKS

0:21:57 > 0:22:00Oh, not the little yappy dog!

0:22:00 > 0:22:03Oh, that...

0:22:03 > 0:22:05No wonder this thing is hard to control,

0:22:05 > 0:22:07it's not like dogs listen to their brains.

0:22:11 > 0:22:12DOG BARKS

0:22:12 > 0:22:16Easy.

0:22:16 > 0:22:18Easy! Whoa!

0:22:18 > 0:22:21Stupid dog. Stop bothering me!

0:22:21 > 0:22:24Have some Genovian sausage!

0:22:24 > 0:22:26Wa-a-ah!

0:22:36 > 0:22:39RAPID PANTING IN BACKGROUND

0:22:39 > 0:22:43I've failed. Here I am, trapped inside the body...

0:22:43 > 0:22:46..of the world's most irritating dog!

0:22:46 > 0:22:48DOG WHINES

0:22:48 > 0:22:51Whilst Mu controls the Queen.

0:22:53 > 0:22:56Commence the invasion of all countries.

0:22:57 > 0:22:59Of course, you could get armies

0:22:59 > 0:23:02to defend your precious countries if you like!

0:23:02 > 0:23:04But you're asleep, so you won't!

0:23:06 > 0:23:11Excellent! Muhahaha! Look at them all, sleeping like babies.

0:23:11 > 0:23:16Don't even have to sing them a lullaby. Muhahaha!

0:23:16 > 0:23:18I'm an evil genius!

0:23:18 > 0:23:20I'm an evil genius!

0:23:20 > 0:23:23CHUCKLES AND SIGHS

0:23:23 > 0:23:25DOG MOANS

0:23:26 > 0:23:28Well, I've got to get out of here.

0:23:28 > 0:23:31But how?

0:23:31 > 0:23:34DOG MOANS

0:23:34 > 0:23:38Sounds like...someone's going to be sick!

0:23:49 > 0:23:52OK, I'm ready now. Go over there.

0:23:52 > 0:23:55Stay well away from me.

0:23:56 > 0:23:59THINKING: There's got to be a way of getting Mu out of her body.

0:23:59 > 0:24:02Make sure I look nice. I'm very beautiful woman.

0:24:02 > 0:24:04OK.

0:24:06 > 0:24:08I don't see how I can get in.

0:24:09 > 0:24:12No, it's a breath spray. Use it wisely.

0:24:12 > 0:24:15Yeah, thanks, future me(!)

0:24:15 > 0:24:19It's not like I'm going to be kiss...ing...any...one.

0:24:20 > 0:24:22My people,

0:24:22 > 0:24:25we are about to witness a historic occasion.

0:24:25 > 0:24:28Oh, no. No, I can't do it.

0:24:28 > 0:24:35I, the Queen, am about to invade every country on the Earth...

0:24:35 > 0:24:38Come on, think! There's got to be another way.

0:24:38 > 0:24:41...making me the ruler of the entire planet.

0:24:44 > 0:24:47There isn't, is there?

0:24:47 > 0:24:50Now, think of a way to get past those guards.

0:24:50 > 0:24:52SHE CACKLES

0:24:52 > 0:24:55How many guards does it take to change a light bulb?

0:24:55 > 0:24:59Loads, because all guards are idiots.

0:24:59 > 0:25:01Seize him!

0:25:04 > 0:25:07# What comes out in the wash when Mu goes in?

0:25:07 > 0:25:11# A little fellow with an evil grin And a nasty plan

0:25:11 > 0:25:14# He'll get inside you or beneath your skin

0:25:14 > 0:25:18# It's a deadly sin from a deadly man

0:25:18 > 0:25:23# God save the Queen Oh, who will save the Queen?

0:25:23 > 0:25:26# Now she's controlled by Mu

0:25:26 > 0:25:31# What are you going to do Now your Queen is Mu? #

0:25:31 > 0:25:34You fools!

0:25:34 > 0:25:36Within the hour, all of my armies

0:25:36 > 0:25:39will have invaded every country in the world.

0:25:39 > 0:25:43Oh, at last, the final speck of the universe

0:25:43 > 0:25:48that has eluded me will be under my control!

0:25:48 > 0:25:50LIPS SQUEAK

0:25:50 > 0:25:53What...? No!

0:25:53 > 0:25:54LIPS SQUEAK

0:25:54 > 0:25:55No!

0:25:56 > 0:26:01No! No...! Oh...!

0:26:02 > 0:26:04How dare you!

0:26:09 > 0:26:10Gr-r-r!

0:26:12 > 0:26:13Erm...

0:26:17 > 0:26:19Stop that man!

0:26:25 > 0:26:27MUSIC: "Ooh La La" by Goldfrapp

0:26:27 > 0:26:29I'm the Queen!

0:26:29 > 0:26:33I'm the Queen! I'm the Queen! I am the Que...!

0:26:33 > 0:26:36Steve, what are you doing?

0:26:43 > 0:26:45Steve! The rewind button!

0:26:46 > 0:26:49DRAMATIC MUSIC

0:26:57 > 0:27:00No-o-o-o!

0:27:03 > 0:27:05Ye-e-e-s!

0:27:07 > 0:27:09- MUSIC STOPS - Oh, grow up!

0:27:09 > 0:27:12No!

0:27:13 > 0:27:14FAST REWIND No!

0:27:15 > 0:27:17How dare you!

0:27:20 > 0:27:22Oh, not the little yappy dog!

0:27:22 > 0:27:25- Oh, dear me!- Idiot.

0:27:26 > 0:27:27QUEEN BURPS

0:27:29 > 0:27:31Everybody relax - I'm here.

0:27:34 > 0:27:38Ah, well! I'm definitely going to beat him tomorrow!

0:27:38 > 0:27:40Or is that today?

0:27:40 > 0:27:43# A deadly sin from a deadly man

0:27:43 > 0:27:48# God save the Queen Oh, who will save the Queen?

0:27:48 > 0:27:51# Now she's controlled by Mu

0:27:51 > 0:27:55# What are you going to do Now your Queen is Mu? #