0:00:00 > 0:00:00- 888
0:00:03 > 0:00:06- # Jac. Jac. A dog, not a cat
0:00:06 > 0:00:09- # A friend of yours - and a friend of mine
0:00:10 > 0:00:12- # Jac. Jac. A good little boy
0:00:13 > 0:00:14- # The name's Jac Russell #
0:00:17 > 0:00:18- One, two, three and...
0:00:19 > 0:00:23- # We're all going - on a summer holiday
0:00:23 > 0:00:25- # La-la-la-la-la-la-la
0:00:25 > 0:00:28- # La-la-la-la-la-la-la
0:00:28 > 0:00:30- # La-la-la-la-la... #
0:00:30 > 0:00:35- It looks as if your little dog - will have to stay in the car, Lloyd.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39- The dog has a name - Jac.
0:00:41 > 0:00:46- Floyd has to write in his diary - everything we do together.
0:00:46 > 0:00:50- Lloyd! Can't I just make up - the stuff I write in my diary?
0:00:50 > 0:00:56- If you deceive your teacher, the - only person you're deceiving is you.
0:00:56 > 0:00:57- Deceiving yourself.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00- Deceiving yourself.- - Did you hear that, Mam?
0:01:01 > 0:01:05- One lying and the other - using indecent language.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08- Stay in the car whilst we check in.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10- Stay in the car whilst we check in!
0:01:18 > 0:01:22- Good morning and welcome - to the Bluestone Leisure Park.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24- And you must be...
0:01:25 > 0:01:26- Cornish.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28- Cornish.- - The Cornish family.
0:01:28 > 0:01:33- You're staying in one of - Bluestone's exquisite cottages...
0:01:33 > 0:01:35- ..the Porpoise.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38- You're a family of... four.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41- Five... including me...
0:01:42 > 0:01:44- ..Old Uncle Jac.
0:01:44 > 0:01:48- It's nice to be out of that car - to stretch my legs.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52- That journey has made me very windy!
0:01:52 > 0:01:54- HE BREAKS WIND
0:01:57 > 0:02:00- Better out than in, - as the old adage goes.
0:02:01 > 0:02:05- You've only booked for four, - Mr... Cornish.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09- Cornish? Yes.
0:02:09 > 0:02:13- Mr Cornish. Old Uncle Cornish.
0:02:14 > 0:02:15- First name.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18- First name.- - Ja... Sio...
0:02:19 > 0:02:22- Sion Corn... ish.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27- Mr Sion Cornish? Are you sure?
0:02:27 > 0:02:29- Ish.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32- Let's see what I can do.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35- You're very kind, Mr Ba...!
0:02:38 > 0:02:41- Mr T Bach.
0:02:41 > 0:02:46- Any relation to Mr T Oilet?
0:02:49 > 0:02:51- Right, here's the key - to your cottage.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56- Turn left, drive all the way down - to the bottom in our vehicle...
0:02:57 > 0:03:00- ..and The Porpoise - is on the right.
0:03:01 > 0:03:02- How about W C Bach?
0:03:20 > 0:03:23- Oooh, nice.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30- Down. You should have stayed - in the car.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33- Where am I sleeping?
0:03:36 > 0:03:37- Oooh!
0:03:48 > 0:03:49- Oy, toilet.
0:03:55 > 0:03:59- Don't try this at home. - Try it in someone else's house!
0:04:01 > 0:04:06- Additional towels for your uncle... - the extra guest.
0:04:09 > 0:04:10- Uncle Sion.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16- Aaah, uh...
0:04:17 > 0:04:21- The toilet, Mr T Bach...
0:04:21 > 0:04:26- ..is whiter than white.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29- Atchoo!
0:04:30 > 0:04:32- Any dogs in the house?
0:04:33 > 0:04:35- No, no. We don't like dogs.
0:04:35 > 0:04:40- Hey, hey, hey, hey! - Why all this hatred towards dogs?
0:04:40 > 0:04:43- I'm allergic to them.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46- Anyway, no dogs are allowed here.
0:04:46 > 0:04:50- There's a 500 fine - for anyone who breaks the rule.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56- Well, there are no dogs here, - so there's no problem.
0:04:56 > 0:04:57- Hm?
0:05:04 > 0:05:06- I want to go swimming, - and then play golf.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10- No, football, and then shooting.
0:05:10 > 0:05:14- No, tennis, and swimming tomorrow.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16- No, swimming now.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
0:05:19 > 0:05:21- I know what we need here.
0:05:23 > 0:05:28- Hi. One, two, three, - buzz, hey, hush.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30- Holi-ackee-kee and coo.
0:05:31 > 0:05:32- Franz from Austria.
0:05:32 > 0:05:37- Strange! His name's Franz, - but he comes from Austria.
0:05:40 > 0:05:41- What are you doing?
0:05:41 > 0:05:42- What are you doing?- - Hush.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46- Hey, who wants to board the bus - to Crazytown?
0:05:46 > 0:05:49- Come and join your fun guide - for the day.
0:05:51 > 0:05:56- I'm Jackie, - but you can call me... Jackie.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00- No, sit down, sit down. - Listen to my song.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03- It's the song I sang - to secure this job.
0:06:04 > 0:06:05- Audition piece. Yeah?
0:06:07 > 0:06:09- # Ah
0:06:09 > 0:06:11- # Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
0:06:12 > 0:06:16- # Mysterious girl, - I wanna get close to you
0:06:17 > 0:06:19- # Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
0:06:19 > 0:06:21- # Come on, move your body, - come on, move your body
0:06:21 > 0:06:23- # Come on, move your body #
0:06:27 > 0:06:29- Come on, move your body.
0:06:31 > 0:06:32- Jac Russell!
0:06:39 > 0:06:41- HE BREAKS WIND
0:06:42 > 0:06:43- Sorry.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45- Sorry.- - Not again.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47- First, you need a tee.
0:06:47 > 0:06:48- A cup of tea?
0:06:49 > 0:06:51- No, a tee.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52- A mug of tea?
0:06:53 > 0:06:54- No, a tee.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56- Oh, a pot of tea.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59- No, a tee. Tee, tee, tee.
0:07:00 > 0:07:01- Tee, tee, tee.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06- Right, then. Wedge, please.
0:07:07 > 0:07:08- Are you sure?
0:07:08 > 0:07:09- Are you sure?- - Of course I am.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13- Oh!
0:07:13 > 0:07:16- I've had a wedgie.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23- I hope you've brought - a spare pair of trousers.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27- In case you get a hole in one!
0:07:28 > 0:07:30- No.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01- Blinkin' swizz. - These holes are too small.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04- Never mind. - That can be easily sorted out.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24- Oh, no. What are you doing here?
0:08:24 > 0:08:29- I've booked myself in for a massage.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34- Ffion.
0:08:34 > 0:08:35- Ffion.- - Yes.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38- Well, hello...
0:08:38 > 0:08:41- Follow me. And Sion, yes?
0:08:42 > 0:08:44- Helena will be with you now.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47- Ooh. Oooh. Mmm.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50- Helena.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04- Ri... Right.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06- Mr Cornish.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10- SLAPPING NOISE
0:09:17 > 0:09:19- HE CHOKES
0:09:19 > 0:09:24- Right, then, remove your - dressing gown and lie down.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27- I don't think so.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31- Come on, Mr Cornish. - There's no need to be shy.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35- But I'm, I'm, I'm... ticklish.
0:09:35 > 0:09:36- I'd better go.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49- OWL HOOTS
0:09:53 > 0:09:55- Pssst.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57- Pssst. Lloyd.
0:09:58 > 0:09:59- What?
0:09:59 > 0:10:00- What?- - Are you asleep?
0:10:01 > 0:10:03- I was.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06- Do you want to play a game?
0:10:06 > 0:10:11- You say a word, and then, - I have to say an associated word.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13- And so on.
0:10:13 > 0:10:14- And so on, and so on.
0:10:14 > 0:10:15- And so on, and so on.- - OK, OK.
0:10:15 > 0:10:16- OK, OK.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18- Polo.
0:10:18 > 0:10:19- Mint.
0:10:20 > 0:10:21- Lamb.
0:10:21 > 0:10:22- Mint.
0:10:22 > 0:10:23- Mint.- - Pie.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25- Lamb.
0:10:25 > 0:10:26- I've said that.
0:10:26 > 0:10:27- I've said that.- - Mint.
0:10:28 > 0:10:29- And that.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32- And that.- - Mints. Polo mints.
0:10:32 > 0:10:36- Royal mints. Extra strong mints.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41- Mam wants you to go out for - a wee-wee before going to bed.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44- Floyd, Lois is talking to you.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47- Not Lloyd, you!
0:10:47 > 0:10:49- Ooooh!
0:10:59 > 0:11:04- Right. Now I'll be able - to prove that you're a dog.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08- Mr Sion Cornish, indeed.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16- WATER TRICKLES
0:11:18 > 0:11:21- Oooooh!
0:11:24 > 0:11:25- Aaaah!
0:11:32 > 0:11:34- Jac Russell.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45- Who's been digging up - my golf course?
0:11:50 > 0:11:53- Well, would you believe it!
0:11:58 > 0:12:01- Good morning, Mr Bach. Wowzer!
0:12:01 > 0:12:03- You have large moles around here.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08- Bye for now.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27- Right! Where are you, - you ugly, little mongrel?
0:12:47 > 0:12:48- Hello.
0:12:48 > 0:12:49- Hello.- - Hello.
0:12:52 > 0:12:53- Hello.
0:12:53 > 0:12:54- Hello.- - Hello.
0:13:00 > 0:13:01- Hello.
0:13:01 > 0:13:02- Hello.- - Hello.
0:13:12 > 0:13:13- Hello.
0:13:13 > 0:13:14- Hello.- - Hello.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16- I thought as much.
0:13:49 > 0:13:53- Oh, oh, oh, oh! Dead end!
0:13:53 > 0:13:56- Finally, I've caught you.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59- Mr Sion Cornish, my foot!
0:14:00 > 0:14:03- I have evidence here - to prove that you're a dog.
0:14:03 > 0:14:07- Yes, you're right. - Ooh, that's a nice one of me.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13- Yes, you're right. You've caught me.
0:14:13 > 0:14:19- Put my paws in handcuffs - and throw me into the pound...
0:14:19 > 0:14:21- ..but be gentle with me.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26- Here's your fine, Cornish family.
0:14:26 > 0:14:30- 500. Kerching! Ha-ha!
0:14:33 > 0:14:34- OK.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58- Hurry up.
0:15:00 > 0:15:04- Goodbye. We've had a great time. - Thank you very much.
0:15:04 > 0:15:09- One thing - - you have no toilets for dogs.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12- So... take this.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16- Here's one I prepared earlier.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19- That one's still warm.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26- We-hey! Off we go!
0:15:40 > 0:15:43- That was a weekend and a half.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46- You would have loved it, - Yellow Teddy.
0:15:46 > 0:15:47- What?
0:15:47 > 0:15:50- No, I didn't bring back - a gift for you.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54- You didn't give me a gift - when you went to Eurodisney.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56- What's wrong with you today?
0:15:56 > 0:16:00- I'll give you a gift - if you don't change your attitude.
0:16:00 > 0:16:05- Who wants to hear a joke? - Monkey Mike, you'll like this.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08- What's yellow and stinks of bananas?
0:16:08 > 0:16:10- Monkey sick.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13- What do you think of that one then?
0:16:13 > 0:16:16- Oh, you're a blinkin' - waste of time today!
0:16:17 > 0:16:19- S4C Subtitles by Simian 04 Cyf.
0:16:19 > 0:16:20- .