Proof of the Pudding

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:02 > 0:00:03# Can you keep a secret? Sneaky and a treat

0:00:03 > 0:00:06# A dash of something tasty Just you wait and see

0:00:06 > 0:00:11# The magic in my story Turns you upside down indeed

0:00:11 > 0:00:14# No matter what the trouble is I've got a recipe

0:00:14 > 0:00:18# Mixing up the flavour With a trick right up my sleeve

0:00:18 > 0:00:22# Stir it up a little more And then we're gonna see

0:00:22 > 0:00:25# Cooking up a story that is good for magazines

0:00:25 > 0:00:26# Sprinkle this, sprinkle that

0:00:26 > 0:00:29# Stir it up and see. #

0:00:30 > 0:00:32Unbelievable!

0:00:32 > 0:00:34The cheek of the man.

0:00:34 > 0:00:37It's not Gordon Ramsay calling you out again, is it?

0:00:37 > 0:00:38Even worse.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40It's from my brother, Paolo...

0:00:40 > 0:00:42in Italy.

0:00:42 > 0:00:46- I didn't know you had a brother. - Of course I have, I'm Italian.

0:00:46 > 0:00:4920 years, not a word.

0:00:49 > 0:00:51Oh, now he says he apologises for everything

0:00:51 > 0:00:53and he wants to come and stay.

0:00:53 > 0:00:54Apologises for what?

0:00:54 > 0:00:57There was an incident... back in the old country.

0:00:57 > 0:00:58Dunfermline?

0:00:58 > 0:00:59Napoli.

0:01:01 > 0:01:04It was the eve of the Sacro Dolce Dessert Festival.

0:01:04 > 0:01:09And Nonna had made her famous cream pudding for the event.

0:01:09 > 0:01:10She put it in the fridge,

0:01:10 > 0:01:15she swore none of us was allowed to touch it.

0:01:15 > 0:01:16And that very night,

0:01:16 > 0:01:19it was eaten by someone,

0:01:19 > 0:01:22a traitorous, underhand thief.

0:01:22 > 0:01:24- BOTH: Ohh!- Yeah.

0:01:24 > 0:01:26Was it you?

0:01:26 > 0:01:28No, it wasn't me! It was Paolo.

0:01:28 > 0:01:32But he hid the spoon in my bedroom

0:01:32 > 0:01:35- and- I- got the blame.

0:01:35 > 0:01:37Fiendish! I like it.

0:01:37 > 0:01:40Surely that's all forgotten now?

0:01:40 > 0:01:44- I mean, family's important, blood's thicker than blancmange!- Uh!

0:01:44 > 0:01:48In Napoli, pudding betrayal is a seriously big deal.

0:01:50 > 0:01:53Paolo will never be welcome here.

0:01:54 > 0:01:56- Never?- That's what he said.

0:01:56 > 0:02:00Well, that was a waste of time. It took me ages to forge that letter

0:02:00 > 0:02:01and the one to Paolo.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03Come on, it was only a couple of pages.

0:02:03 > 0:02:05That's the last favour I do for you.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08I had to learn fluent Italian.

0:02:08 > 0:02:10That's an afternoon I won't get back.

0:02:10 > 0:02:15I told you, who needs letters? I could've magicked him over.

0:02:15 > 0:02:18You said that would've turned him inside out.

0:02:18 > 0:02:20Cookie being distinctly helpful.

0:02:20 > 0:02:23There was a 3% chance it would've been fine.

0:02:23 > 0:02:26You gotta take a little risk now and again.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29OK, OK, let's not give up hope.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32We can still get them back together...

0:02:34 > 0:02:36..and I know exactly how to do it.

0:02:36 > 0:02:39Please, please, please, please, please, please,

0:02:39 > 0:02:40please see Uncle Paolo.

0:02:40 > 0:02:42See him...please.

0:02:43 > 0:02:44He says he's sorry.

0:02:46 > 0:02:48He's not a good person, Lulu.

0:02:50 > 0:02:53One time, he pinned a sausage to the back of my trousers.

0:02:53 > 0:02:56I was chased by this pack of dogs all the way through the city,

0:02:56 > 0:02:59down to the harbour and almost off the end of the jetty.

0:02:59 > 0:03:02I'd have fallen in the sea if not for a couple of Dobermans

0:03:02 > 0:03:04who were tugging on my underpants.

0:03:06 > 0:03:07What's funny?

0:03:09 > 0:03:10Um...

0:03:10 > 0:03:14- is this him?- Aye.

0:03:20 > 0:03:21Where did you get this?

0:03:21 > 0:03:25Oh, I just...found it...

0:03:25 > 0:03:30when I was accidentally...rummaging through your stuff.

0:03:30 > 0:03:35He is family, Dad. Nonna would love her grandsons to be friends again...

0:03:35 > 0:03:39- wouldn't she?- D'you think I should give him a chance, Lulu?

0:03:40 > 0:03:43Use puppy dog eyes, never fails.

0:03:46 > 0:03:48I'd love to meet a long lost...

0:03:48 > 0:03:50forbidden relative from across the seas.

0:03:56 > 0:03:57Well...

0:03:57 > 0:04:02I suppose...if he's big enough to apologise...

0:04:02 > 0:04:07..then I'm big enough to accept his apology.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09Ohhhh, great!

0:04:09 > 0:04:11- Ah!- He's coming in the morning.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15I phoned... HE, he phoned earlier.

0:04:15 > 0:04:18I'll make Nonna's special pudding in his honour.

0:04:18 > 0:04:22It'll be my pudding of forgiveness...

0:04:23 > 0:04:25..with extra cream.

0:04:25 > 0:04:26Result!

0:04:30 > 0:04:31Oh.

0:04:41 > 0:04:44Richest, creamiest,

0:04:44 > 0:04:49most delicate pudding you'll ever set eyes on.

0:04:49 > 0:04:51- Wow.- Can I have a taste?

0:04:51 > 0:04:53Woah. Steady, Tarzan.

0:04:53 > 0:04:58Until tomorrow, I won't even let the Queen poke her finger into it.

0:04:58 > 0:04:59Is that likely?

0:04:59 > 0:05:01Pfft, you know these Royals,

0:05:01 > 0:05:03they're a law unto themselves.

0:05:26 > 0:05:29Ooh, Your Majesty.

0:05:32 > 0:05:33Thanks a lot.

0:05:35 > 0:05:36How do I look?

0:05:36 > 0:05:38Honey Bunny, you look...

0:05:38 > 0:05:42There's only one word for it...iconic.

0:05:42 > 0:05:44Aaah! He's here, he's here.

0:05:44 > 0:05:46Aah!

0:05:46 > 0:05:49Dad, Minty, may I introduce...

0:05:50 > 0:05:52- IN ITALIAN ACCENT:- It's a-Paolo.

0:05:56 > 0:05:57Michele?

0:05:59 > 0:06:00My brother,

0:06:00 > 0:06:03I longed for this moment.

0:06:04 > 0:06:09Ah... I squeeze for every year I no see you.

0:06:09 > 0:06:10One, two...

0:06:10 > 0:06:13- three...- Help me!

0:06:13 > 0:06:15Erm... Uncle Paolo...

0:06:16 > 0:06:17..this is Minty.

0:06:17 > 0:06:20Benvenuto, Paolo.

0:06:20 > 0:06:23- Oh, Minty-y-y!- Oh!

0:06:25 > 0:06:27Parla Italiano?

0:06:27 > 0:06:28Ohhh, Pinocchio!

0:06:30 > 0:06:32Mmm, Minty, such a beautiful name.

0:06:32 > 0:06:37It's like a toothpaste, or an indigestion tablet.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39Aye, all right, Paolo.

0:06:39 > 0:06:41This is my daughter,

0:06:41 > 0:06:42Lulu.

0:06:44 > 0:06:46Lulu!

0:06:46 > 0:06:47Huh-uh.

0:06:49 > 0:06:51Ah, Lulu's a divine young lady.

0:06:51 > 0:06:55Oh, Michele, its-a bellissimo!

0:06:57 > 0:06:58Oh...

0:06:58 > 0:07:00mmm!

0:07:01 > 0:07:03- Mmm!- He's nice.

0:07:03 > 0:07:07Aye, but he hasn't tried to pin a sausage on anyone yet.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11You sell ice cream!

0:07:13 > 0:07:14Mmm...

0:07:16 > 0:07:17..I like it.

0:07:17 > 0:07:20- Go and get the surprise.- Huh!

0:07:20 > 0:07:21Paolo...

0:07:23 > 0:07:25..we need to talk...

0:07:26 > 0:07:28..about the past.

0:07:31 > 0:07:32About...

0:07:33 > 0:07:34..the pudding.

0:07:38 > 0:07:40I'll just...

0:07:40 > 0:07:42My brother,

0:07:42 > 0:07:48many years go by, but now we must...

0:07:48 > 0:07:51forget about this pudding!

0:07:51 > 0:07:5512, 13, 14...

0:07:55 > 0:07:59- 15...- As a gesture of goodwill...

0:08:03 > 0:08:06Nonna's...special...

0:08:06 > 0:08:08pudding!

0:08:09 > 0:08:11You bring me all this way to insult me...

0:08:11 > 0:08:14with a creamy splodge?

0:08:14 > 0:08:15Where is it?

0:08:16 > 0:08:18Torky!

0:08:18 > 0:08:20What have you got there?

0:08:20 > 0:08:22This?

0:08:23 > 0:08:26This spoon of my ancestors.

0:08:27 > 0:08:28I found it...

0:08:28 > 0:08:30in Lulu's bedroom.

0:08:31 > 0:08:33That was never in my room.

0:08:34 > 0:08:36- Lulu...- Dad!- She...

0:08:37 > 0:08:40..disrespects the brother of the father,

0:08:41 > 0:08:45who disrespects the father, who disrespects the Nonna,

0:08:45 > 0:08:49disrespects...the family.

0:08:50 > 0:08:54Lulu, you disrespect the family.

0:08:54 > 0:08:55Oh, Lulu!

0:08:57 > 0:08:59And it was so full of calories.

0:08:59 > 0:09:01Hey, Michelino.

0:09:06 > 0:09:10You must punish this girl,

0:09:10 > 0:09:13like Papa punish us at home.

0:09:16 > 0:09:18BOTH: Aah...

0:09:20 > 0:09:22..punishment.

0:09:22 > 0:09:24SOBBING

0:09:26 > 0:09:31Torquil eats it and I have to chop onions for a month.

0:09:31 > 0:09:33And I have to stand here watching.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37No, you don't.

0:09:37 > 0:09:40Yeah, but where else am I going to hang out?

0:09:41 > 0:09:43OK, I need to make some more friends.

0:09:43 > 0:09:47Cookie thinks you should have some more friends than just me.

0:09:47 > 0:09:48Like she can talk.

0:09:48 > 0:09:51Being invisible makes it hard to meet people.

0:09:51 > 0:09:52What's her excuse?

0:09:52 > 0:09:55You should persuade Torquil to tell the truth.

0:09:55 > 0:09:57Yeah, like that's gonna happen.

0:09:57 > 0:10:01It could, with a little help from these.

0:10:01 > 0:10:05- Chocolate buttons of truth.- Uh.

0:10:05 > 0:10:07What do they do?

0:10:07 > 0:10:11Turn you into bananas, what do you think? There's a clue in the title.

0:10:11 > 0:10:14OK, so the "chocolate buttons of truth" make you tell the truth?

0:10:14 > 0:10:17- Give the girl a Nobel Prize. - Nah, nah, nah!

0:10:17 > 0:10:20But...they only work for five minutes.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22Ask if there are side effects.

0:10:22 > 0:10:26If you eat one too many, instead of speaking the truth...

0:10:26 > 0:10:28you speak...

0:10:28 > 0:10:30- IN DEEP VOICE:- ..the truth.

0:10:30 > 0:10:33IN DEEP VOICE: The truth?

0:10:33 > 0:10:36Yeah, you know, universal cosmic truth

0:10:36 > 0:10:38that transcends all time and reality.

0:10:38 > 0:10:40You know, that sort of rubbish.

0:10:41 > 0:10:43So, were there any side effects?

0:10:43 > 0:10:45No, nothing that won't be fun.

0:10:45 > 0:10:47SHE SOBS

0:10:53 > 0:10:56- What's that for? - Chocolate buttons, yummy!

0:10:56 > 0:10:59They look a bit green.

0:10:59 > 0:11:01They're not green, they're just...

0:11:03 > 0:11:05Yeah, right, they are a bit green.

0:11:05 > 0:11:08But that's only because they are...

0:11:09 > 0:11:11They're 400 years old.

0:11:11 > 0:11:13Seriously?

0:11:14 > 0:11:16They're...broccoli...

0:11:16 > 0:11:18erm, spinach...

0:11:18 > 0:11:19erm, mint.

0:11:19 > 0:11:21Mint, they are mint-flavoured.

0:11:21 > 0:11:25Why are you so desperate for me to eat buttons?

0:11:25 > 0:11:26I'm not.

0:11:26 > 0:11:30In fact, I don't want you to eat them,

0:11:30 > 0:11:31and I'm using reverse psychology

0:11:31 > 0:11:37because I know if I tell you to eat the buttons, you won't eat them,

0:11:37 > 0:11:39and there'll be all the more for me.

0:11:39 > 0:11:41Actually, I'll have them.

0:11:41 > 0:11:42Have a few.

0:11:42 > 0:11:44Actually, I'll just have one.

0:11:48 > 0:11:49I ate the pudding.

0:11:51 > 0:11:53Then, I put the blame on Lulu.

0:11:54 > 0:11:57Erm, not right now. Say this over there.

0:11:57 > 0:12:02It was me who blocked the toilets with mashed potatoes.

0:12:02 > 0:12:03In a minute... Dad!

0:12:04 > 0:12:06Oh, Lu, what are you doing now?

0:12:06 > 0:12:10Listen to Torquil, he's got a confession to make. Come on.

0:12:12 > 0:12:16The Martian antennae I sold to Chip were really cucumbers.

0:12:16 > 0:12:18Not that, say the pudding bit.

0:12:18 > 0:12:21I want to kiss Frenchy.

0:12:23 > 0:12:25He ate the pudding,

0:12:25 > 0:12:27he said it when you weren't listening.

0:12:27 > 0:12:30Nice try, Lulu,

0:12:30 > 0:12:32but now I've got to take this out to Paolo

0:12:32 > 0:12:35and then he's going to teach me how to wrestle in olive oil.

0:12:35 > 0:12:37It's great to have a brother again.

0:12:38 > 0:12:41But Torky did it, I was fitted up, just like you.

0:12:41 > 0:12:44Oh, why won't you believe his mindless confession?

0:12:44 > 0:12:47I fed your socks to a Chihuahua.

0:12:50 > 0:12:52Could things be any worse?

0:12:56 > 0:12:58No!

0:12:58 > 0:13:00Things can only get better,

0:13:00 > 0:13:03unless they get worse.

0:13:03 > 0:13:05Or, stay the same.

0:13:06 > 0:13:09Oh, great. Yeah, thanks, Chip.

0:13:09 > 0:13:11That's so profound.

0:13:20 > 0:13:23I don't wanna hurt him. I just want...

0:13:23 > 0:13:27Proof he ate the pudding. Then you need a proof pudding.

0:13:27 > 0:13:28Proof pudding?

0:13:28 > 0:13:31Yeah, looks like Nonna's pudding, but when you eat it,

0:13:31 > 0:13:33depending on what ingredients you add,

0:13:33 > 0:13:36there can be a range of incriminating side effects.

0:13:36 > 0:13:38Like what?

0:13:38 > 0:13:43Rampant body hair, weightlessness, uncontrollable dancing.

0:13:43 > 0:13:44Anything a bit less weird?

0:13:44 > 0:13:47Monkey feet, blue lips.

0:13:47 > 0:13:50Blue lips, that could work, cool.

0:13:51 > 0:13:54- Yeah, but this head massage, it's not worth it.- Waah!

0:13:56 > 0:13:59I hope you all know...

0:13:59 > 0:14:02I made this pudding because I want to,

0:14:02 > 0:14:05not because I'm feeling guilty, OK?

0:14:08 > 0:14:11And none of you must touch it till the morning.

0:14:11 > 0:14:13Does it smell of onions?

0:14:13 > 0:14:16No, that's me.

0:14:21 > 0:14:23Nobody eat it now.

0:14:34 > 0:14:36Right.

0:14:39 > 0:14:43Torky, why have your lips turned...

0:14:44 > 0:14:46Problem, pudding-guzzler?

0:14:48 > 0:14:51But I...wh..ah...

0:14:52 > 0:14:54Uncle Paolo. It was you?!

0:14:54 > 0:14:59No. It IS me. You need to learn better English, Lulu.

0:14:59 > 0:15:03I put blue dye in the recipe, and you, you've got blue lips.

0:15:03 > 0:15:08Ah...bah, yes. M-my lips a-a-are blue because...ah...

0:15:08 > 0:15:11- MINTY GASPS - You've got blue lips!

0:15:11 > 0:15:14Goodness, you must be sick.

0:15:14 > 0:15:17Yes! I am sick.

0:15:17 > 0:15:20It is true. I am very, very sick.

0:15:20 > 0:15:25Oh, Lulu, help me... Uh...oh, help me.

0:15:31 > 0:15:33Ooohh-eehh...

0:15:38 > 0:15:41Uuhh...aahh...

0:15:41 > 0:15:45I'm really worried about Paolo. He can barely stand.

0:15:45 > 0:15:50He's not ill. He has blue lips, which proves he ate the pudding.

0:15:50 > 0:15:54Eh? How does blue lips prove he ate the pudding?

0:15:56 > 0:15:59Because...I filled it with blue dye.

0:16:00 > 0:16:02Although, admittedly,

0:16:02 > 0:16:05I probably should have mentioned that before he ate it.

0:16:05 > 0:16:09Oh, Lulu. First it was Torquil, now it's Paolo.

0:16:09 > 0:16:13- I think you've got an issue with men.- I do not!

0:16:13 > 0:16:17They're underhand, lying thieves. Paolo and Torquil, not men.

0:16:17 > 0:16:20Well, you're just going to have to learn to be a bit more tolerant,

0:16:20 > 0:16:24young lady, because I'm thinking about asking Paolo to stay here

0:16:24 > 0:16:26and help me run the cafe.

0:16:26 > 0:16:28Dad!

0:16:29 > 0:16:31PAOLO PANTS

0:16:31 > 0:16:34I so hot! I burn up!

0:16:35 > 0:16:38Um...Uncle Paolo, that's not my top, is it?

0:16:40 > 0:16:42I just bought that.

0:16:44 > 0:16:47This girl, she care much more for the clothes

0:16:47 > 0:16:49than she do for the poor old uncle.

0:16:49 > 0:16:52Oh, come on, that's my cereal!

0:17:03 > 0:17:06Sandwich is too heavy.

0:17:06 > 0:17:11I need oysters, for digestion.

0:17:11 > 0:17:13Tell me...

0:17:14 > 0:17:16What are you up to?

0:17:17 > 0:17:20Just keep food a-coming, girl.

0:17:20 > 0:17:21Va bene?

0:17:22 > 0:17:24HE GROANS

0:17:32 > 0:17:34Hey!

0:17:34 > 0:17:35I've got Paolo's bag!

0:17:38 > 0:17:41OK. So, we know he's lying about the pudding

0:17:41 > 0:17:44and he's lying about being ill. I wonder what else he's lying about.

0:17:46 > 0:17:49His diary! Check it out.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55Oh, great. It's in Italian.

0:17:55 > 0:17:58Give it here. OK.

0:18:02 > 0:18:04It's bad.

0:18:05 > 0:18:06Cookie!

0:18:07 > 0:18:08You screeched?

0:18:08 > 0:18:13- Run me through the effects of those proof puddings again.- That's my girl.

0:18:13 > 0:18:17Now, there's a body hair one, a weightlessness one,

0:18:17 > 0:18:20a dancing one, a monkey feet one, a rubbery neck one...

0:18:20 > 0:18:24Excellent. We'll try a few of those. Get the oven on.

0:18:29 > 0:18:33All we have to do is feed him the proof pudding and prove he's not ill.

0:18:33 > 0:18:36- Then, I'll show Dad the diary. - Does your dad speak Italian?

0:18:36 > 0:18:39Whaddya theenk?

0:18:39 > 0:18:41The trap is set.

0:18:41 > 0:18:44Operation Remove Wool From Father's Eyes is go, go, go.

0:18:49 > 0:18:51HE BURPS

0:18:53 > 0:18:55Dad! Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad.

0:18:55 > 0:18:57Can you come into the cafe a second?

0:18:57 > 0:19:00I've got something important to show you.

0:19:00 > 0:19:01In a minute.

0:19:05 > 0:19:07What is that?

0:19:07 > 0:19:10Hmmm. Panna cotta.

0:19:10 > 0:19:14Light, delicate. Just what he needs to get him up and about.

0:19:14 > 0:19:17I think I might have sorted that out already.

0:19:22 > 0:19:23Paolo?

0:19:24 > 0:19:26I see you're feeling better.

0:19:26 > 0:19:28Oh, yes. He feels like dancing, don't you, Paolo?

0:19:28 > 0:19:31I just can't explain it!

0:19:31 > 0:19:34I can. Although, I'd have preferred him to be weightless.

0:19:34 > 0:19:36Dancing is just fine.

0:19:36 > 0:19:40And I seem to have suddenly grown quite a lot of body hair.

0:19:40 > 0:19:43Oh, come on! I've got to have a bit of fun.

0:19:44 > 0:19:48Yes. It seems that Paolo wasn't so poorly, after all.

0:19:48 > 0:19:51- But let's see if this makes him feel ill again.- Give it to me.

0:19:51 > 0:19:54Oh, I don't think so! Catch!

0:19:57 > 0:20:00I think the time has arrived for dancing in the street.

0:20:06 > 0:20:08BARKING

0:20:08 > 0:20:10FABRIC TEARING

0:20:14 > 0:20:16It's unbelievable!

0:20:17 > 0:20:20Did you read the bit where he said you were an idiot?

0:20:20 > 0:20:24How he's going to stay here sponging food off you for ever?

0:20:24 > 0:20:26Aye, he just hasn't changed a bit.

0:20:26 > 0:20:28What about what he wrote about Minty?

0:20:28 > 0:20:31How she dresses like an absolute...

0:20:31 > 0:20:34- Yes.- And talks like a total...

0:20:34 > 0:20:36OK, Lu. That's enough.

0:20:36 > 0:20:38What are you going to do to him, bunnykins?

0:20:38 > 0:20:42Er...I think it may be too late.

0:20:45 > 0:20:48I don't think Paolo's spoken a word of truth in his life.

0:20:48 > 0:20:51Lu, I'm sorry.

0:20:52 > 0:20:54I should have believed you.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57It's just, you know, I just thought it would feel great

0:20:57 > 0:20:59to be part of the old country again, but...

0:20:59 > 0:21:03I mean, after all, he did write and apologise.

0:21:03 > 0:21:04Paolo did not write that letter.

0:21:04 > 0:21:06Frenchy!

0:21:10 > 0:21:14OK. I kind of faked two letters.

0:21:14 > 0:21:17I thought it would be nice to have a reunion.

0:21:17 > 0:21:19That's sweet, Lulu.

0:21:19 > 0:21:23So, you faked the letters and you ate the first pudding.

0:21:23 > 0:21:26I didn't eat it. Torquil did. I told you!

0:21:26 > 0:21:29Where is Torquil, anyway?

0:21:38 > 0:21:39What?

0:21:42 > 0:21:45Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:21:45 > 0:21:48E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk