The Split

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0:00:02 > 0:00:03Work those legs. Come on!

0:00:03 > 0:00:05Sprint like your life depended on it.

0:00:05 > 0:00:08Like you're being chased by a pack of wild dingo.

0:00:08 > 0:00:10I'm workin' it. I'm workin' it.

0:00:10 > 0:00:12Do you feel the burn?

0:00:12 > 0:00:14Oh yeah, I feel the burn.

0:00:14 > 0:00:16Come on. Do you feel it?

0:00:16 > 0:00:17BREATHES HEAVILY

0:00:17 > 0:00:19I feel it!

0:00:20 > 0:00:22I feel the burn! I feel the...

0:00:22 > 0:00:23Argh!

0:00:29 > 0:00:31EVIL LAUGHTER

0:00:31 > 0:00:32Huh?

0:00:35 > 0:00:36THEY SQUEAL

0:01:01 > 0:01:04EVIL LAUGHTER

0:01:04 > 0:01:07If all goes according to plan, this invention of mine

0:01:07 > 0:01:11will usher in a new age of evil!

0:01:13 > 0:01:15CHUGGING AND CHURNING

0:01:15 > 0:01:18YELPS AND SCREAMS

0:01:22 > 0:01:23Doktor Frogg.

0:01:23 > 0:01:28What lame experiment of yours is interrupting my thinking time?

0:01:28 > 0:01:31I was just putting the finishing touches

0:01:31 > 0:01:33on my most diabolical plan EVER!

0:01:33 > 0:01:37I hardly think it competes with my newest creation.

0:01:37 > 0:01:40The Wadclogger 3000!

0:01:40 > 0:01:45Pah! As if your plan could possibly be better than mine.

0:01:45 > 0:01:46Yes, it could!

0:01:46 > 0:01:47No, it couldn't!

0:01:47 > 0:01:49- Yes, it could.- No, it couldn't.

0:01:49 > 0:01:51I know, let's have a vote.

0:01:51 > 0:01:53Excellent idea, Red Menace.

0:01:53 > 0:01:55After you and Doomageddon choose my superior scheme,

0:01:55 > 0:01:58I can try out my new and improved victory dance.

0:01:58 > 0:02:01I've added the splits and a couple of sassy hand gestures.

0:02:02 > 0:02:03Argh.

0:02:03 > 0:02:07We pledge to be fair and impartial. Right, Doomageddon?

0:02:07 > 0:02:08HE GRUNTS

0:02:08 > 0:02:14Oh, well, yes, by all means, show us this most brilliant plan of yours.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17All right. Get this!

0:02:17 > 0:02:19It's a sign.

0:02:19 > 0:02:21And you stick it on someone's back without them knowing.

0:02:21 > 0:02:24Hee, and this is the best part. The sign says...

0:02:24 > 0:02:25HE GIGGLES

0:02:25 > 0:02:27"Kick me."

0:02:27 > 0:02:29HE LAUGHS

0:02:30 > 0:02:31Get it? Kick me!

0:02:31 > 0:02:33CRICKETS CHIRP

0:02:33 > 0:02:34NERVOUS CHUCKLE

0:02:34 > 0:02:40With my Wadclogger 3000 we can clog all the toilets in the city

0:02:40 > 0:02:43with the flip of a single switch.

0:02:43 > 0:02:45Pah! That's a terrible plan.

0:02:45 > 0:02:47- It'll never work!- Oh yeah? Well...

0:02:47 > 0:02:50Uh-uh-uh, time to vote. Red...

0:02:50 > 0:02:51Ah, er...

0:02:51 > 0:02:54Er...ah...oh...

0:02:54 > 0:02:59Ah...I...I...I can't decide! I vote for both of you.

0:03:01 > 0:03:03HE GRUNTS

0:03:03 > 0:03:05Vote for me! Vote for me. Me, me, me, me!

0:03:05 > 0:03:08- Vote for me. For me, for me. - Oh come on! Vote for me.

0:03:08 > 0:03:10- Me, me, me. Me. Me.- Vote for me!

0:03:18 > 0:03:19HE GIGGLES NERVOUSLY

0:03:21 > 0:03:23VICTORY!

0:03:23 > 0:03:24BUZZER

0:03:24 > 0:03:26BELL DINGS

0:03:26 > 0:03:28Yes! I win.

0:03:28 > 0:03:32What? You think his plan is more evil than mine?

0:03:32 > 0:03:33HE GRUNTS

0:03:34 > 0:03:35HE WHISTLES

0:03:35 > 0:03:37HE CHUCKLES

0:03:38 > 0:03:42You know, I am tired of carrying this operation,

0:03:42 > 0:03:45I am tired of my evil plans going unappreciated,

0:03:45 > 0:03:49and I am tired of... Well, frankly, I'm just tired.

0:03:49 > 0:03:50HE YAWNS

0:03:50 > 0:03:52I...QUIT!

0:03:59 > 0:04:03Look, if Voltar's gone, that makes me the leader!

0:04:03 > 0:04:07So much evil to do and so little time.

0:04:07 > 0:04:08HE LAUGHS

0:04:10 > 0:04:12# League Of Super Evil. #

0:04:15 > 0:04:17BUZZING

0:04:17 > 0:04:19DISTANT SIRENS BLARE

0:04:20 > 0:04:23Ah! This is the life, Roachy.

0:04:23 > 0:04:26Oh sure, maybe my new lair needs a little work...

0:04:31 > 0:04:33..but at least I have my health.

0:04:33 > 0:04:35And a good hot meal.

0:04:37 > 0:04:38BLOWS A RASPBERRY

0:04:41 > 0:04:44TRAITOR! Argh. Peuw.

0:04:45 > 0:04:49My new lair now has TWO levels.

0:04:49 > 0:04:50KNOCK AT DOOR

0:04:51 > 0:04:53Er, Voltar...

0:04:53 > 0:04:55It's Red.

0:04:55 > 0:04:57Ah, it's good to see you, Red.

0:04:57 > 0:05:00But I don't have time for idle chit-chat.

0:05:00 > 0:05:02Plenty of evil plans to hatch, you know.

0:05:02 > 0:05:05It's...great to see you're doing well.

0:05:08 > 0:05:10Quitting the league was the best thing I ever did.

0:05:10 > 0:05:15I have a new lair, the neighbours cower in fear when they see me...

0:05:15 > 0:05:16BANGING

0:05:16 > 0:05:19'Hey! Keep it down up there.'

0:05:19 > 0:05:22..and I've even been working out.

0:05:23 > 0:05:26HE GRUNTS AND GROANS

0:05:28 > 0:05:30Anyways, thanks for stopping by.

0:05:34 > 0:05:37Be sure to tell Frogg how great I'm doing.

0:05:39 > 0:05:41Er, do you need help getting your arms...

0:05:41 > 0:05:43No. I'll be fine.

0:05:46 > 0:05:50Yep. I'll be...perfectly fine.

0:05:50 > 0:05:52ELECTRICITY CRACKLES

0:05:57 > 0:05:58FROGG CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:05:58 > 0:06:00Attention, citizens...

0:06:00 > 0:06:01BEEPING

0:06:01 > 0:06:05..your day of reckoning has arrived.

0:06:05 > 0:06:07If you do not meet my demands

0:06:07 > 0:06:11I will use my Wadclogger 3000

0:06:11 > 0:06:15to clog every single toilet in the world.

0:06:15 > 0:06:18Great. Now they're gonna have to give in to your demands.

0:06:18 > 0:06:20Hey, what are your demands?

0:06:20 > 0:06:21A zillion dollars?

0:06:21 > 0:06:24Er, oi, I never really thought about it.

0:06:24 > 0:06:27How about a Ferris wheel?

0:06:27 > 0:06:29- I don't know.- A pony?

0:06:29 > 0:06:30- Pony?- A year's supply of pudding?

0:06:30 > 0:06:32- Tickets to Evil On Ice? - What's a what?

0:06:32 > 0:06:35- Comic book organiser? - What about a who?- Clowns?- What?

0:06:35 > 0:06:37- A lot of clowns?- I don't know. - HELICOPTER WHIRRS

0:06:46 > 0:06:49All right in there. Let's not do anything hasty.

0:06:49 > 0:06:52Step away from the clogger and let's negotiate.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55HE WHIMPERS

0:06:55 > 0:06:59'Although we have yet to confirm the source of these images,

0:06:59 > 0:07:02'it appears the evil mastermind is cowering inside a box.'

0:07:02 > 0:07:03Hmm.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06Not so easy is it, Frogg?

0:07:06 > 0:07:07BANGING ON DOOR

0:07:07 > 0:07:08I told you the rent is in the mail.

0:07:08 > 0:07:11Voltar! You've got to come back.

0:07:11 > 0:07:13Frogg's in way over his head.

0:07:13 > 0:07:15Yes, I can see that.

0:07:15 > 0:07:18He's having a total meltdown.

0:07:18 > 0:07:19HE CHUCKLES

0:07:19 > 0:07:22Please come home!

0:07:22 > 0:07:25Not until Frogg admits that I am the best evil tyrant on the block -

0:07:25 > 0:07:27no, the world.

0:07:27 > 0:07:29But, Voltar, Frogg...

0:07:30 > 0:07:32Wait right here.

0:07:34 > 0:07:35Come on, in there.

0:07:35 > 0:07:38We don't have all day. What are your demands?

0:07:39 > 0:07:43Shouldn't have had that extra-jumbo cola fizz.

0:07:43 > 0:07:46I've really gotta go to the little general's room.

0:07:46 > 0:07:49Eep, what to I do? What do I say?

0:07:49 > 0:07:54Here, look into the camera and read this.

0:07:54 > 0:07:58'I demand an atomising atomiser ray.

0:07:58 > 0:08:01- 'Psst, Frogg.- Oh, right, yes, oh.

0:08:01 > 0:08:06'Er, and a hover tank and all the gold in the city

0:08:06 > 0:08:12'and, er, Voltar is the best evil tyrant on the block - no, the world.

0:08:12 > 0:08:15'What? W-w-w-what?'

0:08:15 > 0:08:16I'm glad he came to his senses.

0:08:16 > 0:08:19All right, I'll bail you out, Frogg.

0:08:20 > 0:08:22Just so I can say, "I told you so."

0:08:22 > 0:08:24# League Of Super Evil. #

0:08:24 > 0:08:26We'll never get all that gold in time.

0:08:26 > 0:08:29See if you can stall him.

0:08:29 > 0:08:32I've got more urgent business.

0:08:32 > 0:08:36Oh, being in charge is so stressful.

0:08:36 > 0:08:38I wish I hadn't won the vote.

0:08:38 > 0:08:42Welcome to my world, Doktor.

0:08:42 > 0:08:43Voltar!

0:08:43 > 0:08:45- Argh! - Pull yourself together, Frogg.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47- Voltar?- Red, Doomageddon.

0:08:47 > 0:08:51Let's give the world a demonstration of our power.

0:08:51 > 0:08:55Activate...the Wadclogger!

0:09:06 > 0:09:08Holy hand grenade!

0:09:08 > 0:09:10No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

0:09:10 > 0:09:12Ar-r-r-r-r-rgh!

0:09:16 > 0:09:19That's why I'm leader.

0:09:19 > 0:09:23Now, watch me make some REAL demands.

0:09:23 > 0:09:26Are you the man who clogged my toilet?

0:09:26 > 0:09:30That's right. And there will be a lot more where that came from

0:09:30 > 0:09:32if you don't meet our demands.

0:09:32 > 0:09:35We just need a little more time to get the gold.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37And the atomising atomiser ray.

0:09:37 > 0:09:38That too.

0:09:38 > 0:09:42Ah, forget about those. What we really want are the following...

0:09:42 > 0:09:44Jenkins!

0:09:45 > 0:09:47HE GIGGLES

0:09:51 > 0:09:52One edible cotton-candy teddy bear.

0:09:54 > 0:09:55Wow.

0:09:55 > 0:09:58One Dimwit's Guide To Being An Evil Mastermind.

0:09:58 > 0:10:00Woo... Hey, wait a minute.

0:10:00 > 0:10:04A lifetime supply of dog biscuits made from depleted Uranium.

0:10:04 > 0:10:06And last, but not least,

0:10:06 > 0:10:10I demand that you and your army wear...

0:10:10 > 0:10:14Voltar, Number One Evil Mastermind T-shirts.

0:10:14 > 0:10:16CRICKETS CHIRP

0:10:16 > 0:10:18THEY MUMBLE

0:10:18 > 0:10:20Er, yeah, yeah, OK.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22Er, sure, sure.

0:10:22 > 0:10:25You can have all that, but I draw the line at T-shirts.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27Deal.

0:10:27 > 0:10:31- Yoink.- Pleasure doing business with such an evil mastermind.

0:10:31 > 0:10:33GENERAL CHUCKLES

0:10:37 > 0:10:40You see, Frogg? That's how you negotiate.

0:10:40 > 0:10:42Yes, Voltar.

0:10:42 > 0:10:45FROGG GIGGLES

0:10:45 > 0:10:47Victory! Hee-he-hee!

0:10:47 > 0:10:48VOLTAR GIGGLES

0:10:52 > 0:10:54Hey! How did I...?!

0:10:58 > 0:10:59Who keeps...?

0:11:11 > 0:11:14Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:11:14 > 0:11:17E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk