Badometer

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0:00:02 > 0:00:03Cut! Cut! Cut!

0:00:03 > 0:00:05- That was really bad.- Good.

0:00:05 > 0:00:09- No! Bad as in terrible, bad.- Huh?

0:00:09 > 0:00:10Behold...

0:00:11 > 0:00:14You see? Now, that was sick.

0:00:14 > 0:00:17- Sick?!- Yeah! As in phat with a p-h.

0:00:17 > 0:00:19Wait, so your dancing is so phat, it's sick?

0:00:19 > 0:00:24YES! My stuff is so trash, it's haunted, dog...

0:00:24 > 0:00:25Waaaaa!

0:00:25 > 0:00:28- So what do you call that?- Painful?

0:00:28 > 0:00:31HE LAUGHS EVILLY

0:00:31 > 0:00:32Huh?

0:00:32 > 0:00:33- Hee-hee.- Uh!

0:00:33 > 0:00:36- Huh?- Aargh!- Oh!

0:00:59 > 0:01:00- Whoo!- Whoo!

0:01:00 > 0:01:01'Scuse me.

0:01:01 > 0:01:03There! The velvet rope.

0:01:05 > 0:01:10We'll be first in line to meet Rock Gothlington! Oh!

0:01:10 > 0:01:14Ah-hem... Not that I care, of course.

0:01:14 > 0:01:19I don't see what all the fuss is over some no-talent rock star

0:01:19 > 0:01:21who only pretends to be evil.

0:01:21 > 0:01:22ELECTRIC GUITAR

0:01:28 > 0:01:31See what I mean?! Totally fake.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34Um, nice act(!)

0:01:34 > 0:01:38But if you want real evil, you're looking at it.

0:01:38 > 0:01:40Ha-ha! Ah-ha-ha...

0:01:42 > 0:01:46Evil? What, you lot? Ha-ha-ha!

0:01:48 > 0:01:51Well, who do you think orchestrated the great yoghurt souring

0:01:51 > 0:01:54of last summer, hmm?! It was us.

0:01:54 > 0:01:56The League Of Super Evil!

0:01:56 > 0:01:57I've never heard of you.

0:01:58 > 0:02:03I'm too busy selling gazillions of records.

0:02:03 > 0:02:04- Next!- Pah!

0:02:04 > 0:02:09Anyone can make a record. Even we did that.

0:02:09 > 0:02:11Oh, a boy band, eh?

0:02:11 > 0:02:13Oh, that is evil(!)

0:02:14 > 0:02:15HE LAUGHS EVILLY

0:02:15 > 0:02:17HE SIGHS

0:02:17 > 0:02:20Big mistake, cupcake.

0:02:20 > 0:02:23The League Of Super Evil's department of hustle

0:02:23 > 0:02:25is about to mop the floor with you.

0:02:25 > 0:02:28- Red Menace, attack!- Guess what!

0:02:28 > 0:02:31They're having a sale on cake mix!

0:02:31 > 0:02:37AND I found a hamster! Can I keep him? Can I? Can I? Can I?

0:02:37 > 0:02:40Ha-ha-ha! Oh, that one!

0:02:40 > 0:02:44Oh, he's about as much menace as the Easter Bunny.

0:02:44 > 0:02:47Maybe I'll do cupcakes instead.

0:02:50 > 0:02:52How dare that fire-breathing,

0:02:52 > 0:02:56black-lipstick-wearing pretender destroy a rare work of evil genius?

0:02:58 > 0:03:01Look! We're down to our last 4,000 copies!

0:03:02 > 0:03:04At least you got to meet him!

0:03:04 > 0:03:06Touch him!

0:03:06 > 0:03:10Oh, I'll never let you wash this helmet again...

0:03:11 > 0:03:17Uh, because keeping one's helmet filthy is very evil, of course.

0:03:17 > 0:03:20You know what I do whenever I get completely humiliated

0:03:20 > 0:03:22in front of a large group of people?

0:03:22 > 0:03:24I eat cupcakes.

0:03:25 > 0:03:28- Fresh baked...- Where were you when I needed you, Red Menace?

0:03:28 > 0:03:31As a loyal minion, you're supposed to have my back.

0:03:32 > 0:03:36Perhaps this was just the inspiration I needed

0:03:36 > 0:03:41to plan the ultimate evil plan for revenge I've been planning on!

0:03:41 > 0:03:45Oh, are you talking about your revenge plan?

0:03:45 > 0:03:48Operation Revenge Plan? Version 2.3?

0:03:48 > 0:03:50Yes! Exactly!

0:03:50 > 0:03:51The League Of Super Evil

0:03:51 > 0:03:55will infiltrate the Rock Gothlington concert and...

0:03:55 > 0:03:58- Offer him cupcakes as a gesture of friendship?- What?! No!

0:03:58 > 0:04:02I'm talking about unleashing a chaos most vile.

0:04:02 > 0:04:06That's right. We're going to sneak in there and...

0:04:06 > 0:04:07heckle him!

0:04:07 > 0:04:10That doesn't sound very nice.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13There's no room for nice in an evil revenge plan!

0:04:13 > 0:04:17Which means...you're going to have to sit this one out, Red.

0:04:17 > 0:04:18What?!

0:04:18 > 0:04:23Wha... What do you mean?! I'm GROUNDED?!

0:04:23 > 0:04:27That's right, mister. Until you start acting like a super villain.

0:04:27 > 0:04:30What... Uh... I can...I can do that!

0:04:30 > 0:04:32I mean, uh... What if I change my hair?

0:04:32 > 0:04:36Or, uh...maybe tried an accent?

0:04:36 > 0:04:38"COCKNEY" ACCENT: 'Ello, guvnor!

0:04:38 > 0:04:41I'll do anything - just give me another chance!

0:04:41 > 0:04:44Hmm, I've got just the thing...

0:04:51 > 0:04:53I call it the bad-o-meter.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55Will it hurt?

0:04:55 > 0:04:57Oh, not if you're evil. Hee-hee...

0:04:57 > 0:05:01It's designed to give you a little...reminder

0:05:01 > 0:05:03if you do anything good.

0:05:03 > 0:05:06- Huh?- Oh, but you'll hardly feel a thing.

0:05:06 > 0:05:10And if I do something evil?

0:05:10 > 0:05:13Ha-ha! That kinda tickles!

0:05:13 > 0:05:15Like a butterfly kiss.

0:05:15 > 0:05:21It's time to put the menace back into Red Menace!

0:05:21 > 0:05:23YAY!

0:05:24 > 0:05:28Think evil, speak evil, be evil.

0:05:28 > 0:05:32I have to prove to Voltar that I'm good at this.

0:05:32 > 0:05:35Aw! You're a real cutie-pie!

0:05:35 > 0:05:38Aaargh-eee-ah!

0:05:38 > 0:05:40It's working!

0:05:42 > 0:05:43Whoa!

0:05:43 > 0:05:47Hopefully he'll either scare, jostle or,

0:05:47 > 0:05:50at the very least, insult her.

0:05:50 > 0:05:53May I walk you across, ma'am?

0:06:04 > 0:06:08Do-doo-di-do... Oh, look at me,

0:06:08 > 0:06:13I've got all these parcels. I hope no-one tries to knock them over.

0:06:13 > 0:06:15Oh, allow me to get that door, sir.

0:06:18 > 0:06:20Let me pick those...

0:06:21 > 0:06:24Ha-ha. Oh, sorry,

0:06:24 > 0:06:26sorry.

0:06:26 > 0:06:27Let me help...

0:06:27 > 0:06:28Aargh!

0:06:28 > 0:06:30CRASHING

0:06:33 > 0:06:36Must be evil.

0:06:36 > 0:06:38Must be a menace!

0:06:38 > 0:06:41Uh-oh, wet cement...

0:06:41 > 0:06:43Go on, go on!

0:06:43 > 0:06:45Write your name in it...

0:06:47 > 0:06:50He finally did something deliberately evil.

0:06:51 > 0:06:56Oh, thank you for helping me across the cement, young man.

0:06:56 > 0:06:58No problem, Mrs Johnson.

0:07:01 > 0:07:05Oh, Voltar, the concert's in two hours, and Red's still a do-gooder!

0:07:05 > 0:07:06We're just not ready.

0:07:06 > 0:07:09This thing sure wears you out.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11Look at that - I forgot to wipe my feet.

0:07:11 > 0:07:13Ah-ha-ha!

0:07:13 > 0:07:16You see that, Red? Your transformation is complete!

0:07:16 > 0:07:18You mean it?!

0:07:18 > 0:07:22This is the happiest day of my life!

0:07:29 > 0:07:31It feels good to be evil!

0:07:31 > 0:07:34- Whoa!- Oh, pardon me.

0:07:35 > 0:07:36Must stay evil.

0:07:38 > 0:07:42If anyone asks, we'll tell them we're sweat towel boys.

0:07:44 > 0:07:48Never wash that face again!

0:07:48 > 0:07:54Be...cause...a filthy face is evil, of course...

0:07:54 > 0:07:56MUSIC STARTS UP

0:08:03 > 0:08:07Are you ready for the ultimate humiliation?

0:08:07 > 0:08:11Red Menace, initiate phase one.

0:08:11 > 0:08:14Right, phase one.

0:08:14 > 0:08:16HE LAUGHS EVILLY

0:08:16 > 0:08:22Rude ringtone. The deafening ring on that mega-phone is sure to annoy.

0:08:25 > 0:08:27PHONE RINGS

0:08:27 > 0:08:30- 'Hello?'- Red! What are you doing?!

0:08:30 > 0:08:33'You're supposed to let it ring, not answer it!'

0:08:33 > 0:08:34Sorry!

0:08:36 > 0:08:39Voltar, can I take off the bad-o-meter now?

0:08:39 > 0:08:41It's really starting to bug me.

0:08:41 > 0:08:43'Later, Red. Move on to phase two.'

0:08:43 > 0:08:45Operation laser pen!

0:08:45 > 0:08:49Are you ready to rock?

0:08:49 > 0:08:50AUDIENCE: YEAH!

0:08:50 > 0:08:53What's going on? Why don't I see an annoying red laser dot?

0:08:53 > 0:08:55Don't you know those things are dangerous?

0:08:55 > 0:08:57I brought a regular pen instead.

0:08:59 > 0:09:00'All right, fine!'

0:09:00 > 0:09:05Phase three, Red. Get into position and prepare to heckle.

0:09:05 > 0:09:06'Scuse me. Ow!

0:09:06 > 0:09:07Pardon me. Eek!

0:09:07 > 0:09:09Coming through-ow-ow-ow!

0:09:09 > 0:09:13BOO! Your lipstick's running!

0:09:15 > 0:09:17Red! I can't hear you!

0:09:17 > 0:09:22Red, I'm trying! Oh, sorry. EEK! Ah!

0:09:22 > 0:09:25Get this helmet OFF ME! AARGH!

0:09:25 > 0:09:27AARGH! AH-AH! AARGH! EEK!

0:09:30 > 0:09:34Whoo-hoo! Look at Red go! Ha-ha!

0:09:34 > 0:09:36I knew I could count on you!

0:09:36 > 0:09:39WAA! Aargh, ow! Grr, aargh! Ah!

0:09:39 > 0:09:41YES!

0:09:43 > 0:09:44Eeee-ya!

0:09:44 > 0:09:48Oh! Hey! Whoa! Did I do all this?

0:09:48 > 0:09:52You see, Red? Now THAT'S evil!

0:09:52 > 0:09:54Oh, uh...

0:09:54 > 0:09:56Sorry about the mess.

0:09:56 > 0:10:00You ruined my show.

0:10:00 > 0:10:04Mission accomplished, Fake Fakelington.

0:10:04 > 0:10:09Prepare to meet your DOOM!

0:10:09 > 0:10:13Pretty sure he's not faking that.

0:10:13 > 0:10:16AUDIENCE: Rock! Rock! Rock! Rock!

0:10:16 > 0:10:18Rock! Rock! Rock! Rock!

0:10:18 > 0:10:21Say, look at that! They love it!

0:10:21 > 0:10:24You sure know how to rip it up, mate!

0:10:24 > 0:10:28Say, how would you like to join the rest of the tour?

0:10:28 > 0:10:31We could do this bit every night, eh?

0:10:32 > 0:10:36Don't worry, I'll be back in a week. Here's my pen.

0:10:36 > 0:10:38Be sure to write!

0:10:39 > 0:10:41HE COUGHS

0:10:41 > 0:10:45Oh! I almost got to touch him!

0:10:45 > 0:10:47Oh... I'll get my revenge.

0:10:47 > 0:10:51Some way, some day, some...

0:10:51 > 0:10:54how.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56HE LAUGHS EVILLY

0:11:05 > 0:11:08Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:11:08 > 0:11:11E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk