Driver's Evil Ed

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0:00:02 > 0:00:06It could be a problem with the hyperdrive rotary cover,

0:00:06 > 0:00:12- or maybe the quantum battery.- What if you turned that shiny little...

0:00:12 > 0:00:16I'm thinking it's a problem with... Oh, who am I kidding?

0:00:16 > 0:00:18HE WHISTLES

0:00:18 > 0:00:21To the movie theatre, please. And an extra tip

0:00:21 > 0:00:25for every pedestrian you splash with water on the way.

0:00:30 > 0:00:32HE CACKLES

0:00:32 > 0:00:33- He-he.- Ugh!

0:00:33 > 0:00:35- Aagh!- Huh?- Aagh!

0:00:59 > 0:01:00Red Menace.

0:01:00 > 0:01:03Quickly. Pull over.

0:01:03 > 0:01:05I'm feeling a little queasy.

0:01:05 > 0:01:10In case of emergency, please use the car sickness bags provided.

0:01:10 > 0:01:11El pest.

0:01:11 > 0:01:14Our target is in sight. Time to unleash...

0:01:14 > 0:01:16EVIL!

0:01:16 > 0:01:18Ner-r-r!

0:01:18 > 0:01:20HE ROLLS TONGUE, THEN BLOWS RASPBERRY

0:01:23 > 0:01:24Ha ha ha!

0:01:24 > 0:01:29In a surprise spit-ball attack, jump up and scream for revenge.

0:01:29 > 0:01:32Vengeance will be mine!

0:01:37 > 0:01:38Faster, Red, faster!

0:01:45 > 0:01:49HE MUTTERS

0:01:49 > 0:01:53Grr! If it's a spit-ball war that kid wants,

0:01:53 > 0:01:56then that's exactly what he's going to get.

0:01:56 > 0:01:59- You can't mean...- Oh, yes I can.

0:01:59 > 0:02:02He's left me no choice. My mind is made up.

0:02:02 > 0:02:06Red Menace, the Doomsday straw.

0:02:14 > 0:02:15After him!

0:02:20 > 0:02:23It's slime time, kid!

0:02:25 > 0:02:27ALL: Whoaaaaa!

0:02:29 > 0:02:31Now I need a new straw!

0:02:31 > 0:02:32HE GASPS There!

0:02:33 > 0:02:35VOLTAR SUCKS ON STRAW

0:02:37 > 0:02:38A Wham-Bam meal for you.

0:02:38 > 0:02:41A Wham-Bam meal extra Bam for you.

0:02:41 > 0:02:46- And a treat of the week for you. - Action Yak? I already have this one.

0:02:49 > 0:02:53I've got that spit-balling twerp right in my sights.

0:03:05 > 0:03:08Is there a problem, Officer?

0:03:09 > 0:03:11Licence, please.

0:03:11 > 0:03:14Licence... Uh! Uh! Who needs a licence?

0:03:14 > 0:03:17Do you have ANY idea who I am?!

0:03:17 > 0:03:20HE CHUCKLES SWEETLY Licence, right.

0:03:20 > 0:03:23Um... What if I told you we didn't...

0:03:23 > 0:03:25Oh, what do you say? Um...

0:03:25 > 0:03:27..HAVE a licence?

0:03:29 > 0:03:31If you want your golf cart back,

0:03:31 > 0:03:35you need to go downtown and get a licence. Have a nice day.

0:03:35 > 0:03:37In case of vehicle impoundment,

0:03:37 > 0:03:40please burst into tears.

0:03:40 > 0:03:43HE SOBS

0:03:49 > 0:03:51THEY WHISTLE MERRILY

0:03:51 > 0:03:55Ahem! The great Voltar is here for his licence.

0:03:55 > 0:03:57Take a number.

0:03:59 > 0:04:01- HE CLEARS THROAT - Number one?

0:04:01 > 0:04:03Last call - number one.

0:04:03 > 0:04:04Ooh, ooh! That's me.

0:04:06 > 0:04:07Heroes or villains?

0:04:07 > 0:04:10- Please! What do you think?- Heroes?

0:04:10 > 0:04:12HEROES?! Pah! We're villains.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15EVIL villains.

0:04:15 > 0:04:19Right, evil villains. Yeah, I see it now. You need that line.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22B-But there's nobody in THIS line!

0:04:22 > 0:04:25Oh, look. Shift's over.

0:04:30 > 0:04:31HE GASPS

0:04:32 > 0:04:374,785?! Oh, for the love of all that's evil.

0:04:38 > 0:04:42Oh! 4,786.

0:04:45 > 0:04:47SNORING AND SPLUTTERING

0:04:52 > 0:04:54Aagh!

0:04:57 > 0:04:59What? Why, you...

0:04:59 > 0:05:02Waaaaargh! Oh!

0:05:07 > 0:05:08VOLTAR CACKLES

0:05:13 > 0:05:164,786.

0:05:16 > 0:05:17Ooh!

0:05:17 > 0:05:19Huh?

0:05:24 > 0:05:29This is the written part of your driving exam. Time begins...now.

0:05:29 > 0:05:31HOOTER PARPS

0:05:32 > 0:05:35- Pfft! Some test!- Frogg, wait.

0:05:36 > 0:05:40Hmm! I didn't even have to use the really smart part of my brain.

0:05:40 > 0:05:41Hmmm...

0:05:41 > 0:05:44VOLTAR GROANS

0:05:44 > 0:05:48Stop cheating!

0:05:48 > 0:05:50Hey... How are you doing that?

0:05:50 > 0:05:52Er... Doing what?

0:05:58 > 0:06:01Frogg, I need you to distract Red.

0:06:01 > 0:06:02Copy?

0:06:02 > 0:06:07'Copy that. Operation Distract Purple Rain is in effect.'

0:06:09 > 0:06:13Oh, no! I am under attack.

0:06:13 > 0:06:15Hi, Doktor Frogg.

0:06:20 > 0:06:23Time's up!

0:06:23 > 0:06:24Oh!

0:06:26 > 0:06:29You are now at the hardest stage of the test -

0:06:29 > 0:06:32the obstacle course.

0:06:32 > 0:06:33Hey! Ugh!

0:06:33 > 0:06:35What is the meaning of this?

0:06:35 > 0:06:40Regulations. Children must always ride in the baby seat.

0:06:40 > 0:06:43I am not a child! I'm a fully grown evil villain.

0:06:43 > 0:06:46THROUGH TEARS: Release me! RELEASE ME!

0:06:47 > 0:06:49Ooh!

0:06:52 > 0:06:54What a nice day for a drive.

0:06:54 > 0:06:56Pothole, 12 o'clock.

0:06:56 > 0:06:59- Ugh!- Aaargh!- Red!

0:07:00 > 0:07:01Aaaaarghh!

0:07:05 > 0:07:08Sorry! Send me the cleaning bill.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11Red, keep your eyes on the road!

0:07:14 > 0:07:18Is this the night-time portion of the test?

0:07:18 > 0:07:21Would someone explain why Skullossus got the front page

0:07:21 > 0:07:23and we're on page 14?

0:07:26 > 0:07:32- What are you doing?- Why, I'm waiting for the nice old lady to cross.

0:07:35 > 0:07:38- Honk at her, Red!- What?!

0:07:39 > 0:07:40No, Voltar!

0:07:40 > 0:07:45It's the ejector seat. But I can't remember which seat it ejects.

0:07:47 > 0:07:50Waaaaaargggghhh!

0:07:51 > 0:07:52CRASHING

0:07:54 > 0:07:57Voltar! You scared her, Voltar.

0:07:59 > 0:08:00Gah!

0:08:00 > 0:08:04Oh, no! It's Super-Amazing Man.

0:08:04 > 0:08:07Aargh! Get us out of here, Red.

0:08:11 > 0:08:13- HE GASPS - He's gaining on us!

0:08:13 > 0:08:18I can tell by that painted-on expression that he means business.

0:08:34 > 0:08:36- Oh!- Whoo-hoo!

0:08:36 > 0:08:37All right!

0:08:38 > 0:08:40Well? How did we do?

0:08:40 > 0:08:43The test is not over yet.

0:08:43 > 0:08:46You still have...the parallel park.

0:08:46 > 0:08:49ALL: The parallel park?!

0:08:49 > 0:08:53You must park your vehicle in the impossibly small space

0:08:53 > 0:08:55between those two cars.

0:08:55 > 0:08:58This requires someone with nerves of steel

0:08:58 > 0:09:03and the precision of a surgeon. That is why I, the great Voltar,

0:09:03 > 0:09:04will take the wheel.

0:09:10 > 0:09:13On second thought, why don't you drive, Red?

0:09:30 > 0:09:32ALL: Waaaarrrrghhh!

0:09:35 > 0:09:39GROGGILY: Well...do we pass?

0:09:39 > 0:09:42Hmm. You tried to cheat on your written test,

0:09:42 > 0:09:46destroyed the obstacle course, and to cap it all,

0:09:46 > 0:09:50completely obliterated three cars trying to park.

0:09:50 > 0:09:54Congratulations! You scored a perfectly evil A+.

0:09:54 > 0:09:58Here's your temporary licence. You'll get the official one by mail.

0:09:58 > 0:10:03Woo-hoo! We're back in the business of doing evil, boys!

0:10:03 > 0:10:05HE CACKLES

0:10:11 > 0:10:17- Woo! Our official super-villain drivers' licence.- Let me see. Agh!

0:10:18 > 0:10:22This is an outrage! This is the worst picture of me, ever!

0:10:25 > 0:10:27You!

0:10:28 > 0:10:30Quickly, men. Go!

0:10:30 > 0:10:33- But your ripped up our licence. - Well...

0:10:33 > 0:10:36It deserved to feel the wrath of my evil.

0:10:36 > 0:10:37Now, let's go!

0:10:37 > 0:10:39Come on. Go!

0:10:48 > 0:10:50What?! It was a bad picture.

0:10:53 > 0:10:54Ha ha ha!

0:10:54 > 0:10:57You're going down, you little saliva bandit!

0:10:57 > 0:11:00HE WHISTLES Taxi!

0:11:07 > 0:11:10Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:11:10 > 0:11:13E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk