Fortune's Fools

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04"Yard sale, 8am.

0:00:04 > 0:00:08"No early birds." We'll need split-second timing, men.

0:00:08 > 0:00:10- Let's synchronise our watches.- 10...

0:00:10 > 0:00:14- I didn't say what time it is. - It's 10.07.- I've got noon.

0:00:14 > 0:00:16When I say "now", it's 11.15.

0:00:16 > 0:00:21- Now!- Oh, I went with the first "now". - You wait until...- Look!

0:00:22 > 0:00:26- Free!- What time have you got?- It's 10.07.

0:00:26 > 0:00:28- I've got noon.- Oh-h!

0:00:30 > 0:00:32EVIL CACKLING

0:01:07 > 0:01:09GENTLE STOMACH RUMBLING

0:01:13 > 0:01:15POWERFUL STOMACH RUMBLING

0:01:15 > 0:01:19You call that a hungry stomach rumble?

0:01:19 > 0:01:21Pssswwrr!

0:01:23 > 0:01:24STOMACH RUMBLES

0:01:26 > 0:01:29Huh! Bow down to my supremacy.

0:01:29 > 0:01:32I'd rather chow down with some dinner.

0:01:32 > 0:01:34- BUZZER RINGS - Assault alarm!

0:01:34 > 0:01:38- Everyone, to the bunker! - We don't have a bunker.

0:01:38 > 0:01:39No, just the doorbell.

0:01:39 > 0:01:42I shouldn't have made those two sound so much alike.

0:01:42 > 0:01:45Delivery!

0:01:45 > 0:01:48- Chinese food's here.- Oh-h! Agh!

0:01:48 > 0:01:53- Er, you're the guys who don't tip, right?- Tip?! Huh!

0:01:53 > 0:01:56- The great Voltar never tips. - Oh, good.

0:01:56 > 0:02:01- I ate 50% of your food on the way over. Bwwrrp!- Here, take 100%!

0:02:01 > 0:02:04We just want these.

0:02:04 > 0:02:05EVIL CACKLING

0:02:05 > 0:02:07BOTH: Oh!

0:02:08 > 0:02:11And now, let the secrets

0:02:11 > 0:02:14of the future be ours.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17RED MENACE'S STOMACH RUMBLES

0:02:19 > 0:02:22"You will find something you lost."

0:02:22 > 0:02:23Hm!

0:02:23 > 0:02:26Wow! The motor for our getaway boat!

0:02:26 > 0:02:31I thought I'd never find that after the waterfall incident.

0:02:31 > 0:02:35"The first person you ask will be forced to do your bidding."

0:02:35 > 0:02:38Oh, so many powerful people to choose from -

0:02:38 > 0:02:43world leaders, scientists, talk-show hosts... Oh! Hand me a pencil

0:02:43 > 0:02:44so I can make a list.

0:02:44 > 0:02:48- AS ROBOT: - I am forced to do your bidding.

0:02:48 > 0:02:51Oh!

0:02:53 > 0:02:56"Banana"?!

0:02:56 > 0:03:00Maybe it's one of those where you have to jumble up the letters,

0:03:00 > 0:03:02- like "nababana".- Hmm!

0:03:02 > 0:03:04Nah, that still stinks!

0:03:04 > 0:03:08Order more food. I need another fortune cookie.

0:03:13 > 0:03:14EVIL CACKLING

0:03:14 > 0:03:17"You will receive a message from above."

0:03:17 > 0:03:19DOWNWARDS WHISTLING...THUD!

0:03:19 > 0:03:22Hey! It says, "Greetings from outer space."

0:03:22 > 0:03:26- What does yours say, Doktor Frogg? - "A great weight

0:03:26 > 0:03:28"will be lifted off your mind."

0:03:29 > 0:03:31"Banana"!

0:03:32 > 0:03:36Gentlemen, it's time for action.

0:03:36 > 0:03:38- We're going to the restaurant.- Yeah!

0:03:40 > 0:03:41HE MUMBLES

0:03:42 > 0:03:46Why are you sending me bad fortunes?

0:03:46 > 0:03:50Hmm? Why don't I get my own satellite or boat engine?

0:03:50 > 0:03:54Please, take a free fortune cookie from the barrel and leave, OK?

0:03:54 > 0:03:56Oh, I know your game, friend.

0:03:56 > 0:03:59You probably hide all the good ones at the bottom.

0:03:59 > 0:04:05- Eh?- Voltar, that's the super-sticky oyster sauce.

0:04:05 > 0:04:06Eugh!

0:04:14 > 0:04:19"You will become the King of Albovia." Wow!

0:04:20 > 0:04:23- I will serve my people well. - Stand aside.

0:04:23 > 0:04:25Eugh!

0:04:28 > 0:04:31Aha! This had better be a good one.

0:04:33 > 0:04:34VOLTAR GASPS

0:04:35 > 0:04:39It says, "Banana."

0:04:39 > 0:04:43- I don't write 'em. We buy 'em from the factory.- Oooh!

0:04:43 > 0:04:46Factory, eh?

0:04:46 > 0:04:48EVIL CACKLING

0:04:48 > 0:04:51I am going to write the best fortune ever,

0:04:51 > 0:04:54insidiously place it inside a cookie,

0:04:54 > 0:04:57and then when it's delivered to the mayor,

0:04:57 > 0:05:00I will finally get the awesome fortune I deserve!

0:05:00 > 0:05:04- Frogg, take a letter.- Oh-h!

0:05:04 > 0:05:09"You will get a big red fire-truck,

0:05:09 > 0:05:12"a chorus line of dancing frogs will serenade you,

0:05:12 > 0:05:16"a statue of a handsome pioneer will appear on your lawn..."

0:05:16 > 0:05:20- Will all that fit in one cookie? - Er...ha-ha-ha!

0:05:20 > 0:05:23Where was I? Oh, yes! "You will create your own brand

0:05:23 > 0:05:26"of snail-shaped candy..."

0:05:28 > 0:05:34"..and finally, my antennae will now receive free cable." There!

0:05:34 > 0:05:37The best fortune ever!

0:05:38 > 0:05:40Writing claw's cramped up.

0:05:42 > 0:05:45Now, remember the foolproof plan.

0:05:45 > 0:05:49First, we blend in with the huge crowd of tourists.

0:05:49 > 0:05:52One hour into the guided tour, we sneak away,

0:05:52 > 0:05:55diabolically plant the fortune, and escape!

0:05:56 > 0:05:58Good afternoon.

0:05:58 > 0:06:04- Welcome to Chimpanski's Authentic Chinese Fortune Cookies.- Ha!- Yummy!

0:06:04 > 0:06:06This is where we make them.

0:06:06 > 0:06:11That's where they are written. Thank you. Watch your step on the way out.

0:06:11 > 0:06:12PEOPLE MURMUR

0:06:12 > 0:06:16- Was there a foolproof back-up plan?- Red!

0:06:16 > 0:06:20There's always a foolish back-up plan.

0:06:21 > 0:06:23SNORING

0:06:27 > 0:06:29Oh, hello!

0:06:29 > 0:06:35We are a pirate and an inconspicuous older gentleman

0:06:35 > 0:06:40helping this little Swiss girl find her lost goat.

0:06:40 > 0:06:44- I've looked everywhere! - Except in there, matey!

0:06:46 > 0:06:49I lost a goat once. Go ahead.

0:07:08 > 0:07:12This is surprisingly sinister for a fortune cookie factory.

0:07:12 > 0:07:14Admire it later, Frogg.

0:07:14 > 0:07:17Right now, we need to stuff that fortune inside a cookie.

0:07:20 > 0:07:23Dare I say, "Victory"?

0:07:26 > 0:07:30"You will fall behind at the office and your work will pile up."

0:07:30 > 0:07:32ALARM RINGS

0:07:32 > 0:07:34My fortune!

0:07:39 > 0:07:43Excuse me! Have you found your goat yet?

0:07:43 > 0:07:48You see, the thing is, I think the building is about to collapse.

0:07:49 > 0:07:51"Sometimes it is easy

0:07:51 > 0:07:54"to pass an elephant through the eye of a needle."

0:08:03 > 0:08:05Oh-h!

0:08:05 > 0:08:06TAPPING

0:08:11 > 0:08:14Um, OK, the future's written by a monkey!

0:08:14 > 0:08:17I always suspected this!

0:08:17 > 0:08:21He is so cute! I wish I had a pet with opposable thumbs.

0:08:25 > 0:08:27RED MENACE LAUGHS

0:08:28 > 0:08:31- Er, Red Menace...- What?

0:08:31 > 0:08:35If we can befriend this ape, we can control the future!

0:08:35 > 0:08:40Yeah, well, this machine of his mangled my perfect fortune.

0:08:41 > 0:08:44All right, listen up, fortune monkey.

0:08:44 > 0:08:50I, the great Voltar, demand a top-of-the-line primate fortune!

0:08:51 > 0:08:52Chop-chop!

0:08:54 > 0:08:59See? You have to know how do deal with these college types.

0:08:59 > 0:09:00Hm-hm!

0:09:00 > 0:09:02"Banana"!

0:09:02 > 0:09:05- Oooh!- Voltar, stop!

0:09:05 > 0:09:10This little monkey has been tirelessly writing out fortunes

0:09:10 > 0:09:11day after day,

0:09:11 > 0:09:14so that everyone who eats Chinese food

0:09:14 > 0:09:18can have a bit of hope at the end of their meal.

0:09:18 > 0:09:24Maybe he just wanted a little something for himself for a change,

0:09:24 > 0:09:25you know?

0:09:25 > 0:09:27Is that too much to ask?

0:09:27 > 0:09:29Hmm?

0:09:29 > 0:09:32- BLOWS RASPBERRY Oooh!- Aggh!

0:09:32 > 0:09:36Never mind him. Here you go, little fella.

0:09:41 > 0:09:42Ohhh!

0:09:48 > 0:09:54Any chance your friend could write us a "you will escape" fortune?

0:10:03 > 0:10:05SIREN BLARES

0:10:05 > 0:10:10It's OK, I'm the King of Albovia and this is my monkey.

0:10:10 > 0:10:11Oo-ah-ah-ah!

0:10:14 > 0:10:17Go on, Doktor Frogg. He won't bite.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20Oh! It's the fortune I'm worried about.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23Hmm!

0:10:23 > 0:10:27Oh. "You will be singled out...

0:10:27 > 0:10:31"for an award!"

0:10:31 > 0:10:36The Doorbell Prize For Claw Science!

0:10:36 > 0:10:40This is the happiest day of my life!

0:10:40 > 0:10:45OK, fine! Here you go, but it'd better be a good one!

0:10:45 > 0:10:49RATTLING What's happening?

0:10:55 > 0:10:57You finally got your fortune.

0:10:57 > 0:10:59Yes! Victory!

0:10:59 > 0:11:01Eugh!

0:11:01 > 0:11:04Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd