0:00:02 > 0:00:05Doktor Frogg, if you see the remote, tug twice.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15Come on, throw your back into it.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17Here, I found it.
0:00:20 > 0:00:21THEY SCREAM
0:00:21 > 0:00:23THEY STRUGGLE IN THE SOFA
0:00:23 > 0:00:25INAUDIBLE
0:00:26 > 0:00:27Is that your foot?
0:00:29 > 0:00:31EVIL LAUGHTER
0:00:31 > 0:00:32Huh?
0:00:59 > 0:01:01GIGGLING
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Code red! Code red!
0:01:05 > 0:01:09OK, OK, forget code red. This is code extremely bright red!
0:01:09 > 0:01:11HE SCREAMS
0:01:12 > 0:01:15Let me guess, you're out of Hubble Bubble bubble bath?
0:01:15 > 0:01:20Worse! Red Menace forgot to tape Battle Of The Cyborg Chefs.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23What's the point of having a muscley henchman like Red
0:01:23 > 0:01:25if he forgets to tape my shows?
0:01:25 > 0:01:28Red Menace! Where have you been?
0:01:28 > 0:01:33Around and nowhere. Mostly nowhere. So...
0:01:33 > 0:01:36Hey. Whoa, noon. Is it noon already?
0:01:36 > 0:01:41Doomy's nails are not going to trim themselves now, are they? So see ya.
0:01:41 > 0:01:47You know, I've got a hench my hunchman is up to something.
0:01:58 > 0:02:03Suspiciouser and suspiciouser. Quickly, follow him.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05HE SQUEALS
0:02:09 > 0:02:133:20pm. The subject carries a backpack
0:02:13 > 0:02:15with something secret and round inside.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18Possibly...evil.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25No, stop. Bad, Doomageddon.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27SCREAMING
0:02:29 > 0:02:30Hmm.
0:02:30 > 0:02:31HE GIGGLES
0:02:32 > 0:02:35# League Of Super Evil. #
0:02:37 > 0:02:38He's meeting with someone.
0:02:38 > 0:02:43And he's about to hand over one of our top secret roundish things.
0:02:43 > 0:02:44We must put a stop to this.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Ah-ha!
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Oh, hey, guys.
0:02:48 > 0:02:52I was just going to play basketball with my official Cool Buddy.
0:02:53 > 0:02:57You're going to neglect VCR duties to play hoops with this twerp?
0:02:57 > 0:02:58This is Malakai Milk.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01The Cool Buddy Foundation made me his mentor.
0:03:01 > 0:03:05I meet him everyday at 3:15 to shoot hoops, hang out,
0:03:05 > 0:03:09talk...though Mal doesn't really talk much.
0:03:09 > 0:03:10MAL SLURPS
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Or at all, actually.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15You're not angry are you, Voltar.
0:03:15 > 0:03:16HE MUTTERS ANGRILY
0:03:16 > 0:03:20- Er...- It's...genius! Ha-ha-ha!
0:03:20 > 0:03:22What better way for future generations
0:03:22 > 0:03:24to learn the ways of evil villainy
0:03:24 > 0:03:26than to be taught by the greatest evil mastermind
0:03:26 > 0:03:29the world has ever known? Me!
0:03:29 > 0:03:32You? If anyone should be mentoring the twerp,
0:03:32 > 0:03:36it should be a scientific genius like me.
0:03:36 > 0:03:37MAL SLURPS
0:03:37 > 0:03:41Uh, Mal's right. You don't need to fight over him.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44We can all be his Cool Buddies.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47SNIFFING
0:03:48 > 0:03:49DOOMAGEDDON WHIMPERS
0:03:51 > 0:03:52GRUNTING
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Doomageddon, be nice to Mal.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03We'll settle this matter in the usual fashion.
0:04:03 > 0:04:07Winner gets first crack at Mal.
0:04:08 > 0:04:09Rock crushes scissors.
0:04:10 > 0:04:11Rock crushes scissors.
0:04:13 > 0:04:14Rock crushes scissors. I win.
0:04:14 > 0:04:18Scissors? That's paper. That's clearly paper!
0:04:18 > 0:04:20VOLTAR CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Pay attention, Mal.
0:04:22 > 0:04:27That was the first lesson of how to be an evil mastermind -
0:04:27 > 0:04:30know your enemies weaknesses.
0:04:33 > 0:04:34COUGHS
0:04:34 > 0:04:35Yes. To continue,
0:04:35 > 0:04:38as evil mastermind, I alone
0:04:38 > 0:04:42devise the League Of Super Evil's nefarious plans.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46And this, of course, is thanks to my impressive cranial capacity.
0:04:49 > 0:04:50TICKING
0:04:50 > 0:04:53Ah, Doomageddon.
0:04:53 > 0:04:57They say Doom hounds are completely untrainable,
0:04:57 > 0:05:00but for an evil mastermind like myself...
0:05:00 > 0:05:01HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Doomageddon...sit up.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05HE GRUNTS
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Excellent.
0:05:10 > 0:05:11HE GIGGLES
0:05:11 > 0:05:15You see, Mal, a mastermind has ultimate control.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20VOLTAR GIGGLES MENACINGLY
0:05:20 > 0:05:22TICKING
0:05:22 > 0:05:23Hello?
0:05:25 > 0:05:28Ah, a chip off the old claw.
0:05:28 > 0:05:32You know, this will really bring out the evil genius in you.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34MAL SLURPS
0:05:36 > 0:05:40One size too big. Don't worry, you'll grow into it.
0:05:40 > 0:05:45Oh, that. It's the trithunderous laser blaster.
0:05:45 > 0:05:49So far it's all try and no thunderous laser blasting,
0:05:49 > 0:05:51but, you know. Argh!
0:05:52 > 0:05:56Well, sure you could tighten that stop up with all those wires around.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59The hover battle poster.
0:05:59 > 0:06:05Perfecting the ratio has been more difficult than I anticipated...
0:06:07 > 0:06:10Ah! You've got a good eye.
0:06:10 > 0:06:14That is my greatest non-working invention ever.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16The time plunger!
0:06:16 > 0:06:21When operational, it controls the very flow of time itself.
0:06:24 > 0:06:28But then we wouldn't have anything to unclog the toilet.
0:06:28 > 0:06:29HE GROWLS
0:06:31 > 0:06:33COCK CROWS
0:06:35 > 0:06:38A good henchman is a team player.
0:06:38 > 0:06:42Pick up that tank, punch through this steel-enforced vault,
0:06:42 > 0:06:45- open this jar of pickles... - Red Menace!
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Are you setting the VCR to tape my show?
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Time's all set, Voltar.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52And I've taught Mal all he needs to know
0:06:52 > 0:06:55about being a good evil henchman.
0:06:55 > 0:06:56Excellent!
0:06:56 > 0:06:58I suggest a field trip.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02A diabolical one!
0:07:02 > 0:07:04HE LAUGHS
0:07:08 > 0:07:11I'm not sure this diabolical field trip is
0:07:11 > 0:07:14an approved Cool Buddy activity, Voltar.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17Nonsense, Red! This is character-building.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Now, open that clock.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26After we set the clock ahead five minutes,
0:07:26 > 0:07:29all who gaze upon it will think they're late for work,
0:07:29 > 0:07:33school or even...hair appointments!
0:07:33 > 0:07:36Operation Tardy Pants commences in ten...
0:07:37 > 0:07:39..nine...
0:07:53 > 0:07:54Mal!
0:07:54 > 0:07:55What are you doing?
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Is that our plunger?
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Not just any plunger!
0:08:00 > 0:08:04It's a fully functional time plunger!
0:08:04 > 0:08:09Oh! Noon?! I've missed my eleven o'clock hair appointment!
0:08:09 > 0:08:11THEY SCREAM
0:08:11 > 0:08:16..three, two, one...and mark!
0:08:16 > 0:08:19What? Twelve o'clock?!
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Is that our plunger?
0:08:21 > 0:08:26- Mal! What are you doing? This isn't part of the plan!- You there!
0:08:26 > 0:08:28On the clock tower!
0:08:28 > 0:08:31You have five seconds to surrender!
0:08:31 > 0:08:35Oh! The army! Mal, see what you've done?!
0:08:35 > 0:08:40All right. Let me handle this with a threatening taunt.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42EXPLOSIONS
0:08:42 > 0:08:46Stop that! One evil mastermind per group. That's the rule.
0:08:46 > 0:08:51(DEEP VOICE) Then you, Voltar, have just been demoted.
0:08:51 > 0:08:52HE LAUGHS
0:08:52 > 0:08:56That's a much deeper voice than I was expecting.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58Mal! You talked!
0:08:58 > 0:09:02Oh...Mal, Mal, Mal, Mal, Mal, Mal, Mal, Mal, Mal.
0:09:02 > 0:09:03So young, so much to learn.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07It takes more than one diabolical evil blinking clock plan
0:09:07 > 0:09:11to achieve the pinnacle of super villainy. Like me.
0:09:11 > 0:09:12Um, Voltar?
0:09:12 > 0:09:17If all the clocks are messed up, the VCR won't record your programme.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20HE SCREAMS Evil runt!
0:09:20 > 0:09:23I will not miss another episode of Cyborg Chefs!
0:09:23 > 0:09:28Red, take care of that pint-sized VCR...mess-arounder.
0:09:28 > 0:09:32I don't want to be a stickler, but didn't you just get demoted?
0:09:32 > 0:09:34Frogg?
0:09:34 > 0:09:36I'm with Red on this one.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Doomageddon - attack!
0:09:39 > 0:09:43- Eeek!- See you never, gentlemen.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45THEY SCREAM
0:09:45 > 0:09:47MAL LAUGHS
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Noooo!
0:09:59 > 0:10:05No! Those floating pions are my... are my Cool Buddy mentors.
0:10:05 > 0:10:06They taught me evil!
0:10:06 > 0:10:10What? Those three? They don't even look like they could tell time.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13You're clearly the brains behind this disaster, punk.
0:10:13 > 0:10:14You're coming with us.
0:10:14 > 0:10:21With every waking hour, I will plot your downfall, losers!
0:10:21 > 0:10:24Your end will come!
0:10:24 > 0:10:28Ah... I miss his quiet voice.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32VOLTAR LAUGHS
0:10:32 > 0:10:36Victory is ours! Metrotown is now officially five minutes late.
0:10:36 > 0:10:37VOLTAR LAUGHS
0:10:37 > 0:10:41If time is working again, the VCR should be taping the show
0:10:41 > 0:10:44- on Channel Seven, as per your instructions.- Yeah.
0:10:44 > 0:10:49Except Battle Of The Cyborg Chefs is, of course, on Channel Two.
0:10:54 > 0:10:55THEY MOO
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Oh...!
0:10:57 > 0:11:00Noooooo!
0:11:04 > 0:11:08Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:11:08 > 0:11:12E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk