And the Loser Is...

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0:00:03 > 0:00:05HE WHISTLES HAPPILY

0:00:07 > 0:00:10- BEEPING - That's not good!

0:00:10 > 0:00:11- BEEPING - Ohh!

0:00:15 > 0:00:17HE SCREAMS AND RANTS

0:00:17 > 0:00:19Ahem! Excuse me.

0:00:26 > 0:00:28AAAAARGH! NOOOOOOO!

0:00:30 > 0:00:32EVIL LAUGHTER

0:01:00 > 0:01:04After all those years of being ignored,

0:01:04 > 0:01:07I can't believe I'm actually up here!

0:01:07 > 0:01:12I'd like to thank the Academy for honouring me with this Eviley award,

0:01:12 > 0:01:17I guess being a master of evil and malenovence... malevon... male...

0:01:17 > 0:01:19Ooh, let's change it to badness.

0:01:19 > 0:01:23Hmm... I guess I have to change the rest of this page too.

0:01:23 > 0:01:27Oh no, those ridiculous super villain awards are tonight?!

0:01:27 > 0:01:30- You betcha!- You realise he wasn't nominated again.

0:01:30 > 0:01:35- I just didn't have the heart to tell him.- It's the same every year!

0:01:35 > 0:01:39Voltar gets himself all worked up, finds out he wasn't nominated,

0:01:39 > 0:01:43and we have to deal with a three-week long temper tantrum.

0:01:45 > 0:01:48Waaaah! Waaaah! Haaaah-hah!

0:01:48 > 0:01:50HE SCREAMS AND RANTS

0:01:54 > 0:01:56Oh! We can't let that happen again!

0:01:56 > 0:02:00We are going to rig that award show.

0:02:00 > 0:02:04And give Voltar his first Eviley ever.

0:02:04 > 0:02:09I don't know, sure I think Voltar deserves an award but cheating?!

0:02:09 > 0:02:13Oh, my, my... Mwah! Mwah!

0:02:13 > 0:02:16(Let's do this!)

0:02:19 > 0:02:22JEERING AND BOOING

0:02:22 > 0:02:27Look at that crowd! Wait till they feast their eyes on the Great Voltar!

0:02:27 > 0:02:31They will freak! Yahah!

0:02:31 > 0:02:34- Hey, why aren't we stopping?- Um...

0:02:34 > 0:02:38Because we...need to use the VIP entrance! Ha!

0:02:38 > 0:02:42We don't want you crushed by your loving fans!

0:02:42 > 0:02:45Oooh, yeah! The VIP entrance!

0:02:45 > 0:02:47Good thinking, Frogg.

0:02:47 > 0:02:48Phew!

0:02:48 > 0:02:52I think it's brilliant they disguised the VIP entrance

0:02:52 > 0:02:55as a garbage chute. Great way to keep out riffraff.

0:02:58 > 0:03:00What?! THESE are our seats?!

0:03:00 > 0:03:02Of course they are.

0:03:02 > 0:03:06Um...this way you can look down on the lesser villains.

0:03:06 > 0:03:08Touche!

0:03:08 > 0:03:11- 'Villains and villainesses...' - It's starting!

0:03:11 > 0:03:16'..welcome to the 47th Annual Eviley Awards!

0:03:16 > 0:03:23'Please welcome your diabolical hosts, the Cougar and Skullossus.'

0:03:23 > 0:03:25CHEERING

0:03:25 > 0:03:32We are here tonight to celebrate the very best of the bad.

0:03:32 > 0:03:36- Since the beginning of time good... - BOOING

0:03:36 > 0:03:39..and evil have waged a never-ending battle...

0:03:39 > 0:03:45Aye, yawn! I'm going to use the little villains room.

0:03:45 > 0:03:50You know, skip all the boring talky bits.

0:03:50 > 0:03:54Doom, Red, do you need to visit the little villain's room as well?

0:03:54 > 0:03:56No thanks, I went before we left.

0:03:56 > 0:04:02Are you SURE you don't need to go to the bathroom, RED?!

0:04:02 > 0:04:04Oh! Right!

0:04:04 > 0:04:08I do need to go, again!

0:04:08 > 0:04:10Suddenly...

0:04:10 > 0:04:12- (Too much hot chocolate.)- Be quick.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15You don't want to miss my speech.

0:04:15 > 0:04:18I trimmed it down to an even half hour.

0:04:18 > 0:04:20OK, here's the plan.

0:04:20 > 0:04:24We insert this slip with Voltar's name in a winning envelope and

0:04:24 > 0:04:25he gets his award. Simple!

0:04:25 > 0:04:28What category do we want him to win, guys?

0:04:28 > 0:04:31Voltar won't care, as long as gets an awar... Huh!

0:04:37 > 0:04:39Whoa-aah!

0:04:39 > 0:04:42Admiring our impressive security system, oui?

0:04:42 > 0:04:47You'd be surprised how many super villains try to rig these shows.

0:04:48 > 0:04:51- Oh, man!- Don't worry, guys,

0:04:51 > 0:04:55we'll just do what Voltar always does - come up with a plan.

0:04:55 > 0:05:00And the award for the Best Evil Laugh goes to...

0:05:00 > 0:05:02HE LAUGHS EVILLY

0:05:02 > 0:05:04Doomdriver.

0:05:04 > 0:05:08My laugh was way more evil. Doh!

0:05:12 > 0:05:13Just great!

0:05:25 > 0:05:30- May I help you?- Ah, envelope inspector?!

0:05:30 > 0:05:31Guards!

0:05:31 > 0:05:33- Wahahha!- Hey.

0:05:33 > 0:05:36CRASH! SPLAT!

0:05:36 > 0:05:38I think we need a better plan.

0:05:39 > 0:05:42And the award for Best Villain

0:05:42 > 0:05:47under three feet tall, dressed in red, goes to...

0:05:47 > 0:05:50Yes! Yes! This one's mine for sure!

0:05:50 > 0:05:53- Kindercreep.- What?!

0:05:53 > 0:05:56I am way shorter than he is!

0:05:56 > 0:05:59And he's more of a light burgundy.

0:05:59 > 0:06:03- SPLASH! - Yoohoo, hello, boys.

0:06:03 > 0:06:06Would you all do me a favour

0:06:06 > 0:06:10and scoo-oot so I could get to that cute little safe?

0:06:12 > 0:06:14GROWLS

0:06:14 > 0:06:16Oh!

0:06:18 > 0:06:20Thanks, boys. Huh?!

0:06:20 > 0:06:25You'll have to do better. You're the third villain I've caught tonight.

0:06:25 > 0:06:27Eeek! Oooh...

0:06:27 > 0:06:28SLAP! THWACK!

0:06:28 > 0:06:33..and the winner for the best Evil Name that contains the letter V...

0:06:33 > 0:06:36Aha-ha! Finally!

0:06:36 > 0:06:41- I was getting worried there for a second.- Dr Publican Von Pamploon III.

0:06:41 > 0:06:45HIM?! This is just crazy!

0:06:45 > 0:06:48Unless... Of course!

0:06:48 > 0:06:50It all makes sense now.

0:06:50 > 0:06:53Someone must be tampering with the ballots.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55That's why I haven't won!

0:06:56 > 0:07:04And now playing this year's tribute to villainy, Ros Godlington.

0:07:04 > 0:07:07Are you ready to rock?

0:07:07 > 0:07:09CHEERING

0:07:12 > 0:07:15SOFT GENTLE MUSIC PLAYS

0:07:22 > 0:07:26The tribute to villainy! They always play it before the last award!

0:07:26 > 0:07:29GULPS: The show's almost over!

0:07:29 > 0:07:34People, people, people, what are you doing back here?

0:07:34 > 0:07:38Your dance started ages ago. Get on that stage!

0:07:38 > 0:07:39Go, go, go, GO!

0:08:05 > 0:08:06Doom! Cut the power.

0:08:11 > 0:08:13Red, run!

0:08:13 > 0:08:14Oh no! Ow!

0:08:14 > 0:08:17Got it!

0:08:21 > 0:08:22Done?

0:08:22 > 0:08:23Done!

0:08:23 > 0:08:27Oof! Ow!

0:08:27 > 0:08:31We did it! Woohoo!

0:08:31 > 0:08:32Aha! I knew it!

0:08:32 > 0:08:33What is he doing?

0:08:33 > 0:08:36Mister, these awards have been fixed, look!

0:08:36 > 0:08:40- Oh...- How do those cheats always manage to sneak one in?

0:08:40 > 0:08:44- You did the right thing by coming to me, little boy.- Um...

0:08:44 > 0:08:46you're welcome.

0:08:46 > 0:08:49We need to get that envelope to the Cougar.

0:08:51 > 0:08:53Hey!

0:08:55 > 0:08:56Guards, attack!

0:09:00 > 0:09:01SCREAMS

0:09:09 > 0:09:11- Good fetch, Doom.- Guards!

0:09:11 > 0:09:13- Attack!- Waaaah!

0:09:16 > 0:09:18- Aaaargh!- Yah!- Ooooh!

0:09:26 > 0:09:28Yaaaaah!

0:09:28 > 0:09:32And now for the final award of the evilning...

0:09:32 > 0:09:34Whoaaaaaah!

0:09:35 > 0:09:39Ah... Hi, there. You're all upside-down... Weird.

0:09:39 > 0:09:44My show! She is ruined!

0:09:45 > 0:09:47Bah! Finally!

0:09:47 > 0:09:50What are you guys doing back here?

0:09:50 > 0:09:52Oh, who are we kidding?

0:09:52 > 0:09:56- Voltar, we have something to tell you...- And now it's time...

0:09:56 > 0:10:02to present the Super Villain Lifetime Achievement Award.

0:10:02 > 0:10:05This villain may not be the tallest,

0:10:05 > 0:10:08or the most feared villain among us,

0:10:08 > 0:10:12but he is without question,

0:10:12 > 0:10:16the most driven, dedicated, and determined super villain

0:10:16 > 0:10:20I have ever had the pleasure of working with.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22SOBBING

0:10:22 > 0:10:28Ladies and gentlemen, the Lifetime Achievement Award goes to...

0:10:28 > 0:10:32the Great Voltar!

0:10:32 > 0:10:34- Huh?! - AUDIENCE GASPS

0:10:34 > 0:10:37- Phew! - MUTTERING

0:10:40 > 0:10:42Thank you, thank you, you are too kind.

0:10:42 > 0:10:44Thank you.

0:10:44 > 0:10:47GROANS FROM THE AUDIENCE Ahem...

0:10:47 > 0:10:50I was born to a poor...

0:10:50 > 0:10:52..family... HE DRONES ON

0:10:52 > 0:10:53Yaaarrr...

0:10:53 > 0:10:56Who do you think was supposed to win the Lifetime Award?

0:10:56 > 0:11:01- Why! Why - my lifetime! - HE RANTS

0:11:03 > 0:11:06Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:11:06 > 0:11:09E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk