0:00:02 > 0:00:05Everybody lived happily ever after... except for the bunny,
0:00:05 > 0:00:07who went to prison, for the rest of his life.
0:00:07 > 0:00:11- Blimey! I didn't expect that.- No.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13Night, night, Little Howard.
0:00:13 > 0:00:14Sleep tight.
0:00:14 > 0:00:16Don't let the bed bugs bite.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18The what?
0:00:18 > 0:00:20Um, nothing!
0:00:23 > 0:00:26HOWLING
0:00:38 > 0:00:40BUG CACKLES
0:00:44 > 0:00:46No!
0:00:48 > 0:00:50There's a massive bed bug!
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Get the fly spray!
0:01:01 > 0:01:02Fly swat!
0:01:06 > 0:01:09Have that, take that, you big bug!
0:01:09 > 0:01:11Don't just stand there. Get a sword!
0:01:11 > 0:01:14- What are you doing?- It's not a bed.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17It's a big bug. It's a big bed bug bed.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Little Howard, your bed isn't a bug.
0:01:23 > 0:01:27It's not even a bug bed, or a bed bug. It's just a bed.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29You had a big bad bed bug bed dream.
0:01:29 > 0:01:30But it's very late...
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Come on, in you get, in you get.
0:01:35 > 0:01:36Good night.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53DOOR OPENS
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Oh, no!
0:01:55 > 0:01:57HORN BLARES
0:01:57 > 0:02:01I, Little Howard, have come up with another Big Question.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04Why do I have to go to sleep?
0:02:06 > 0:02:08I do wish you wouldn't do that.
0:02:08 > 0:02:12News just in. We're getting reports of monster bed bugs
0:02:12 > 0:02:14on the streets of Purley.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18HORN BLARES
0:02:18 > 0:02:22# I love monkeys I love monkeys
0:02:22 > 0:02:25# All those happy little chirpy little monkeys
0:02:25 > 0:02:27# With their tails and their bananas
0:02:27 > 0:02:32# I think that if we were all monkeys we'd have happier mananas
0:02:32 > 0:02:34# Give me monkeys lots of monkeys
0:02:34 > 0:02:38# For you know that it's the monkeys I adore
0:02:38 > 0:02:41# If my love said that she did not love those monkeys
0:02:41 > 0:02:44# I wouldn't love her any more Thank you very much. #
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Can we do that again, please?
0:02:50 > 0:02:53I think I did a guff at the top of the second verse.
0:02:55 > 0:03:00We haven't got time to answer your Big Question, Little Howard.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03No, we've got to get the FBI to seal off my bedroom.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05And carry out a controlled explosion on my bed.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08No, I mean, we have to go to sleep.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10But, why?
0:03:10 > 0:03:12You just do.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Mother, a little help here, please?
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Would you mind taking my cucumbers off?
0:03:20 > 0:03:23- How did?- Hello, boys. What's wrong? Can't you sleep?
0:03:23 > 0:03:25- No.- Little Howard can't sleep, because he's had a
0:03:25 > 0:03:28nightmare about giant bed bugs.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30And I can't sleep, because Little Howard's
0:03:30 > 0:03:32had a nightmare about giant bed bugs.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34You know what helps me sleep?
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Extremely loud rock music.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39- Brilliant!- No! - Thrash metal, anyone?
0:03:39 > 0:03:40That sounds lovely.
0:03:40 > 0:03:44LOUD MUSIC PLAYS Stop it! No, stop it! Stop it!
0:03:44 > 0:03:45Turn it off! Turn it off!
0:03:45 > 0:03:48You'll wake the neighbours! MUSIC STOPS
0:03:48 > 0:03:53- Big, Big Howard... - This is a quiet, respectable area!
0:03:53 > 0:03:55DOORBELL Look! Look what you've done!
0:03:55 > 0:03:58- You've torn it now.- Big Howard!
0:03:59 > 0:04:02- Hello!- Why are you shouting at the top of your voice
0:04:02 > 0:04:04in the middle of the night for?
0:04:04 > 0:04:06- I'm sorry!- You're still doing it.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09I see what you mean. Sorry!
0:04:09 > 0:04:12You'll wake the street up with that foghorn mouth of yours.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15It was my computer. She was playing really loud rock music.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17I don't mind really loud rock music.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20It's not everyone's cup of tea but it helps me to sleep.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23- But your shouting doesn't. - All I can do is apologise.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25- I really...- Either you belt up
0:04:25 > 0:04:27or I'll give you a punch up the bracket.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30- I've got to be on my forklift at 6.00am.- Good night.
0:04:30 > 0:04:34- Honestly!- Thank you, good night.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Who was that?
0:04:37 > 0:04:44No-one. Mother, all I wanted you to do was to explain how tiny, harmless
0:04:44 > 0:04:48- and very, very rare bed bugs are in real life.- I'll do better than that.
0:04:48 > 0:04:52I can tell you about bed bugs, and everything that lives in your bed.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56- As long as you don't scare him or anything.- Of course not.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Now, what do you thank this is?
0:04:58 > 0:05:01Ah! It's a massive alien!
0:05:01 > 0:05:03No, it's just a tiny little dust mite.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06Dust mites are much more common than bed bugs.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09And I've magnified this one several thousand times,
0:05:09 > 0:05:11to help calm you down.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14How was that supposed to help calm him down?
0:05:14 > 0:05:17There are up to ten million dust mites inside the average mattress.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20It's like sleeping in a lovely zoo,
0:05:20 > 0:05:24- full of sweet little parasites. - What are they doing in there?
0:05:24 > 0:05:28Oh, they're just having a little snack... on this.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Oh. Do they eat cornflakes?
0:05:30 > 0:05:33No, they eat flakes of human skin.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36- What?- Yes, dust mites eat your skin.
0:05:36 > 0:05:40The skin's already fallen off you, though. They're harmless.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42And this all happens in my bed?
0:05:42 > 0:05:45Yes. Aren't you lucky?
0:05:45 > 0:05:48And that's not all. There's this in your bed.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51- What's that?- It's dust mite poo!
0:05:51 > 0:05:56Droppings, turds, botty chocolate.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58Up to one tenth of the weight of a two year old
0:05:58 > 0:06:02pillow will be made up of the dead corpses of dust mites and their poo!
0:06:02 > 0:06:04I feel a bit sick.
0:06:04 > 0:06:08Never mind dust mites. Can't you just explain to Little Howard how small,
0:06:08 > 0:06:10and very rare bed bugs are?
0:06:10 > 0:06:12So we can all go back to sleep.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15Will do. This is a bed bug.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19Think of it as a sweet little ladybird, who sucks your blood.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21It does what?
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Oh, yes. Sorry, didn't I mention?
0:06:23 > 0:06:26They feed on human blood.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28They're like vampire insects,
0:06:28 > 0:06:31that crawl all over you as you're asleep. Night, night!
0:06:31 > 0:06:36- Don't tell him that!- That's it. I am never going to sleep ever again.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40Bed bugs are tiny, and they're much rarer than dust mites.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43And it's just like a little tiny mosquito bite.
0:06:44 > 0:06:50- Now, anyone fancy some grindcore? - Why do I ever ask you anything?
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Good night, Little Howard.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17LOUD MUSIC PLAYS
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Back into bed, Little Howard.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30I am not getting in there ever again.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33It's full of flesh-eating parasols.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35No, it's full of flesh-eating parasites.
0:07:35 > 0:07:41Anyway, it's not... just, just go to sleep. Good night.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52< BREAKING GLASS
0:07:57 > 0:07:59- Go to sleep!- No.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01I'm warning you.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03- I'm never going to sleep again. - Get into bed.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05But I'm two under par.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10Good night.
0:08:16 > 0:08:17< WHIRRING
0:08:21 > 0:08:22What?
0:08:30 > 0:08:36Well, I've stayed up all night and my eyes feel a little bit funny.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38But otherwise I'm fine. I don't think that people
0:08:38 > 0:08:40really need to sleep at all.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43You kept me up all night as well. And I need to sleep.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45And in fact, I'd quite like to go to sleep now.
0:08:45 > 0:08:49- But why?- Well, because, because...
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Oh, I'm too tired to think of an answer.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55But if you went out on the street, and asked anybody out there,
0:08:55 > 0:08:59- they'd give you ten good reasons. - Well, let's go and ask them, then.
0:08:59 > 0:09:00That should wake you up.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Can I ask you a question?
0:09:06 > 0:09:09Could you tell me, why do you think we have to go to sleep?
0:09:09 > 0:09:12We need to go to sleep to give our parents a break.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15To refresh our bodies from exertions
0:09:15 > 0:09:17of the time we've been awake, I suppose.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19What I really want to know is,
0:09:19 > 0:09:21have you got any tips to help me stay awake?
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Video games, television.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25Oh.
0:09:25 > 0:09:26Drink lots of caffeine,
0:09:26 > 0:09:29and you'll be awake forever.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31Oh, that's a good one.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Can you think of a way that I can trick my friend,
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Little Howard, into going to sleep?
0:09:35 > 0:09:38Best way to go to sleep is to have a song sung to me.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42Probably reading, listening to music and maybe counting sheep.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45BAA!
0:09:47 > 0:09:50- Why don't you try counting all the sheep, Little Howard?- But, why?
0:09:50 > 0:09:55Well, because the farmer wants to teach them to count,
0:09:55 > 0:09:59so he can enter them in the European Mathematical Sheep
0:09:59 > 0:10:01of the Year competition.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03Sounds plausible.
0:10:03 > 0:10:04Right, where are we?
0:10:04 > 0:10:101, 2, 3, 18, 19, 20...
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Oh! Ah! Ow!
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Oh! Ow!
0:10:14 > 0:10:19Oh, ow, he's a big one. Ow! Ow!
0:10:19 > 0:10:26- Ouch.- Are you all right, Little Howard?- There are 198 sheep.
0:10:26 > 0:10:27You counted them from down there?
0:10:27 > 0:10:29I counted the number of hooves
0:10:29 > 0:10:31that trod on my head, and divided by four.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37I must remember to count sheep next time I want to stay awake.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39That has really woken me up.
0:10:39 > 0:10:43'Well, that didn't work. Quick, Brain, I need another idea.'
0:10:43 > 0:10:47'I've found that drinking warm milk helps me get my beauty sleep.'
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Ah-ha! Thank you, Brain.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53LOUD MOOING
0:10:54 > 0:10:57What are you doing to that cow?
0:10:57 > 0:11:01Thought I'd get you a lovely warm glass of fresh milk.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04That is never where milk comes from, is it?
0:11:04 > 0:11:07Yeah. It's lovely, isn't it?
0:11:07 > 0:11:09Ah, that's revolting!
0:11:09 > 0:11:11I'm never drinking milk again. Bleugh!
0:11:11 > 0:11:13Oh, for goodness sake!
0:11:13 > 0:11:17'OK, Brain, this is your last chance. I need one more idea.'
0:11:17 > 0:11:20- 'What about a lullaby?'- Brilliant!
0:11:20 > 0:11:22What?
0:11:22 > 0:11:23What?
0:11:23 > 0:11:28# La, la, la, la, la. # What shall we do now, to help me stay awake?
0:11:28 > 0:11:33- I know. You could go to bed. - Yeah, that's a brilliant...
0:11:33 > 0:11:36Wait a minute... no! I've told you, I'm never setting foot in my
0:11:36 > 0:11:40bedroom, ever again, until it's been blown up by the FBI.
0:11:40 > 0:11:45- Right. Hey, we could have an all night sing song.- Yeah, brilliant!
0:11:45 > 0:11:47I'll get everything ready.
0:11:48 > 0:11:53- You nip out and buy an accordion. - Yeah, accordion!
0:11:56 > 0:11:58Right.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03- # La, la, la, la. # - ACCORDION SQUEAKS
0:12:03 > 0:12:05I've got the accordion, Big Howard.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08But it was a bit of a wild goose chase.
0:12:08 > 0:12:09What do you mean?
0:12:09 > 0:12:12I got chased by a wild goose on the way home.
0:12:12 > 0:12:17- Right. Let's go into the living room, and start a sing song.- Brilliant.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20I've just got to learn to play the accordion first.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23Well, why don't we do my song first?
0:12:23 > 0:12:24Come on through.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31- What's going on? - Do you like what I've done?
0:12:31 > 0:12:35You've made the living room into my bedroom!
0:12:35 > 0:12:37Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39I'm just trying something a little bit different.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Living rooms that look like six year old boy's bedrooms
0:12:42 > 0:12:44- are really in fashion.- Right.
0:12:44 > 0:12:48Do you want to just hop into bed?
0:12:48 > 0:12:52I mean, hop onto the horizontal sofa.
0:12:52 > 0:12:56- They're all the rage.- Oh, I see. - Right, I'll just tuck you...
0:12:56 > 0:13:00I mean, pull up the sofa duvet there.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03And I'll start a sing along... woo! OK, sing along.
0:13:03 > 0:13:09I know, I'll do a song that my dad used to sing to me every day.
0:13:16 > 0:13:20# Sleep you tight my darling Hope sweet dreams are on their way
0:13:20 > 0:13:21# And the bed bugs keep at bay
0:13:21 > 0:13:23# And you do not have to slay any big ones
0:13:23 > 0:13:27# Who've mutated to the size of cats and dogs
0:13:27 > 0:13:28# Hope the bed bugs don't have talons
0:13:28 > 0:13:30# And great teeth to bite your legs
0:13:30 > 0:13:31# Drain your marrow to the dregs
0:13:31 > 0:13:34# But I'm sure they won't attack you If you lie here very still.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38# I checked the bed for monsters There are several underneath
0:13:38 > 0:13:40# And they're sharpening their teeth
0:13:40 > 0:13:44# After gorging on the carcass of a boy who bothered grown ups
0:13:44 > 0:13:47# He went like a lamb to slaughter all for just one glass of water
0:13:47 > 0:13:51# But you're safer now because there's still a quarter of them left
0:13:51 > 0:13:54# See that shadow hanging by the door
0:13:54 > 0:13:58# It could be a dressing gown or nothing more
0:13:58 > 0:14:00# But it's a rotting corpse of Zombie Jim... #
0:14:00 > 0:14:01Ah, zombies!
0:14:01 > 0:14:04# And I pity any little child Who tries to get past him. #
0:14:04 > 0:14:07This is the scariest song I've ever heard.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10But the ukulele is strangely soothing.
0:14:12 > 0:14:16# Heaven knows I miss you when you sleep
0:14:16 > 0:14:20# But the devil knows the company I keep
0:14:20 > 0:14:23# While you're up here safely in your bed
0:14:23 > 0:14:27# I'll be downstairs a thousand witches dancing with the dead. #
0:14:38 > 0:14:40HE SNORES
0:14:40 > 0:14:43Wait a minute.
0:14:43 > 0:14:47I think Big Howard was trying to make me go to sleep.
0:14:47 > 0:14:48Well, I showed...
0:14:48 > 0:14:50HE SNORES
0:14:57 > 0:14:58TOYS SQUEAK
0:14:58 > 0:15:00Mice!
0:15:01 > 0:15:09Oh, Big Howard, Big Howard, are you all right? Big Howard?
0:15:09 > 0:15:11Oh, no, Big Howard's sleep walking.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15Oh, oh, isn't it dangerous to wake up a sleepwalker? Oh, oh, dear.
0:15:15 > 0:15:19Big Howard... no. (Big Howard...)
0:15:19 > 0:15:21No, don't go through there.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23That's the stairs down to the basement.
0:15:23 > 0:15:24No!
0:15:24 > 0:15:28I mean, no. Oh, no, I can't wake him up.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30It's dangerous... Oh!
0:15:30 > 0:15:34Will Little Howard save Big Howard from falling down the stairs?
0:15:34 > 0:15:37Will Little Howard ever go to sleep again?
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Do the writers really think they can
0:15:39 > 0:15:42get away with stealing this voice over from DangerMouse?
0:15:42 > 0:15:46Find out after these fake adverts, and the inevitable lawsuit.
0:15:46 > 0:15:50Have you fallen asleep at work, or at school, in the last six months,
0:15:50 > 0:15:53and had a nightmare? Then you could call Dream Insurance,
0:15:53 > 0:15:56and sue the living moonlights out of them.
0:15:56 > 0:16:01Are you fed up with finding yourself naked during Geography?
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Or falling down a big hole and waking up
0:16:03 > 0:16:06just before you hit the bottom,
0:16:06 > 0:16:08- most times?- Ow.
0:16:08 > 0:16:12- Yes. - Hairy Knee Cheese Dream Triangles.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Each flavour gives you a completely different dream
0:16:14 > 0:16:16straight after you've eaten it.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20So, no more being chased by bees through the store's food hall.
0:16:20 > 0:16:25No, you'll be flying over Berlin, with Gwen Stefani, when you eat
0:16:25 > 0:16:29Hairy Knee Cheese Dream Triangles. Yeah!
0:16:33 > 0:16:37Oh, no! I can't wake him up. It's dangerous.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41THUDDING
0:16:43 > 0:16:47Ou-ou-ouch...
0:16:48 > 0:16:51- Big Howard, are you all right? - Not really.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54I had a dream that I fell down a flight of stairs.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58You did, Big Howard. You were sleepwalking, but I'd heard it was
0:16:58 > 0:17:00dangerous to wake up a sleep walker.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03I think it might be more dangerous
0:17:03 > 0:17:05to let them fall down a flight of stairs.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Oh, yes.
0:17:07 > 0:17:12Do you see now, why it can be dangerous not to go to sleep?
0:17:12 > 0:17:14No way. When I nodded off for just
0:17:14 > 0:17:17a couple of seconds, you nearly broke every bone in your body.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19If I fell asleep for a whole night,
0:17:19 > 0:17:22the Chuckle Brothers might fall into a mincer.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Mmm.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27MUSIC: "Big Brother" theme
0:17:27 > 0:17:32Day Five without sleep in the Big Howard House.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35It's not the Big Howard House, it's my house too.
0:17:35 > 0:17:39Sorry. Day Five without sleep in the Big Howard, Little Howard House.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42Little Howard starts to hallucinate,
0:17:42 > 0:17:45seeing and hearing things that aren't really there.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47- I'm not.- Who are you talking to?
0:17:47 > 0:17:49Can't you hear that?
0:17:49 > 0:17:52- Hear what?- Oh, dear.
0:17:52 > 0:17:57Three days ago, on Day Two without sleep, Little Howard's immune system
0:17:57 > 0:17:59started showing signs of stress.
0:17:59 > 0:18:03- He got spots and a cold.- Atchoo!
0:18:03 > 0:18:06- Bless you.- Bless you.
0:18:06 > 0:18:11Two days ago, on Day Three without sleep, he started showing signs of
0:18:11 > 0:18:15moodiness. And an inability to repeat simple tongue twisters.
0:18:15 > 0:18:21I did not show a moody gibbly, bibbly...
0:18:21 > 0:18:23sibbly... So, shut up!
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Didn't say anything.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27On Day Four without sleep,
0:18:27 > 0:18:31he started having memory lapses, and a difficulty concentrating.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33I did not, or did I?
0:18:33 > 0:18:35Sorry, what were we talking about?
0:18:35 > 0:18:38Are you all right, Little Howard?
0:18:38 > 0:18:42And, on Day Five, he started going properly loopy.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44HE GIGGLES STRANGELY
0:18:44 > 0:18:46I think you should go to bed.
0:18:46 > 0:18:47Never!
0:18:53 > 0:18:57Day Six without sleep, Little Howard's speech is slowing
0:18:57 > 0:19:00and he's having difficulty naming common objects.
0:19:00 > 0:19:08My sp... and look, that is the, the thingy,
0:19:08 > 0:19:10and that's er...
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Is a great big grinning robot.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18- ROBOT:- Can you pass the milk, please?
0:19:18 > 0:19:20Well, pass him the milk, then.
0:19:21 > 0:19:22Pass who the milk?
0:19:22 > 0:19:26Will you please pass the milk to that robot?
0:19:26 > 0:19:29His hallucinations are getting worse.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32Do you see why you've got to go to sleep? You're falling apart.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35No, I'm not. Am I?
0:19:35 > 0:19:39- No, oh, no. Certainly not. - The massive chicken agrees with me.
0:19:41 > 0:19:42What?!
0:19:42 > 0:19:45Day Seven without sleep.
0:19:45 > 0:19:50As well as the hallucinations, Little Howard is irritable.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Pass me the cornflakes.
0:19:52 > 0:19:56Why won't that dolphin pass me the flipping cornflakes?
0:19:56 > 0:19:59DOLPHIN LAUGHS
0:19:59 > 0:20:03Hello, Mr Unicorn. Now, tell me, have we met?
0:20:04 > 0:20:08You should go to bed, Little Howard.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Oh, don't you start.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13Day Eight without sleep...
0:20:13 > 0:20:16at one o'clock in the morning.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19Will you put a flipping sock in it?
0:20:19 > 0:20:22Right! I've had enough of this abuse, I'm off.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25And, another thing, I'm fed up with people
0:20:25 > 0:20:27doing terrible impressions of me.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31What is that horrible noise?
0:20:31 > 0:20:32LOUD SNORING
0:20:34 > 0:20:39Oh, no, Big Howard must have been eaten by a grizzly bear.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44Wait a minute, where's the bear?
0:20:44 > 0:20:46It's coming from Big Howard.
0:20:48 > 0:20:52Big Howard has eaten the grizzly bear.
0:20:54 > 0:20:59The loudest recorded snore was measured at 93 decibels, which is
0:20:59 > 0:21:06as loud as a motorbike eight metres away, a jet aircraft a mile away.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08And is loud enough to damage your hearing
0:21:08 > 0:21:10if you listen to it all night.
0:21:10 > 0:21:15Snoring is caused by a soft tissue which supports the nasopharynx...
0:21:15 > 0:21:19HE SNORES
0:21:19 > 0:21:22Oh, ah!
0:21:24 > 0:21:26SONG BEGINS
0:21:33 > 0:21:37- # Mr Sandman Bring me a dream. # - Wake up, stop snoring.
0:21:37 > 0:21:41# Make him the cutest that I've ever seen
0:21:41 > 0:21:46# Give him two lips like roses and clover
0:21:46 > 0:21:50# Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over
0:21:50 > 0:21:55- # Sandman I'm so alone. #- Oh, I know.
0:21:55 > 0:21:59# Don't have nobody to call my own. #
0:21:59 > 0:22:00Try this.
0:22:00 > 0:22:07# Please turn on your magic beam Mr Sandman bring me a dream. #
0:22:08 > 0:22:12Let's get that on. Ha, ha!
0:22:12 > 0:22:14HE GIGGLES
0:22:17 > 0:22:19One of these...
0:22:22 > 0:22:24LITTLE HOWARD LAUGHS
0:22:24 > 0:22:28Oh, this is boring. Oh...
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Do you know anything about this?
0:22:32 > 0:22:37- I woke up with his on my head. I must have looked ridiculous.- Ha, ha, ha!
0:22:37 > 0:22:40You've gone insane. I'm taking you to a professional.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43- Funny.- I, I despair.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45You, you, get in the car.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53SHE LAUGHS
0:22:57 > 0:23:00Welcome to the Surrey Clinical Research Centre.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02I'm Steven. How can I help you both?
0:23:02 > 0:23:06I must say, it's a very jolly sleep research facility you've got here.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09I'm glad you think so. But that could be because of your face.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12- Have I got something in my teeth?- No. - Can we please get on?
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Little Howard hasn't slept for eight days, for goodness sake!
0:23:15 > 0:23:19Don't worry, you can use our washrooms at the end of the hallway.
0:23:19 > 0:23:23- Thank you.- Goodness sake! The man's obsessed, going on and on.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26- HE CHUCKLES - I did that.
0:23:26 > 0:23:30Nice work. But what's made you not want to go to sleep?
0:23:30 > 0:23:36It was my Big Question. And I have categorically proved
0:23:36 > 0:23:38that I do not need to go to sleep, officer.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41I think you do need to go to sleep
0:23:41 > 0:23:42cos everybody needs it.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45If you don't - your brain doesn't recover.
0:23:45 > 0:23:49The world record is about 11 and a bit days of staying awake.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52We don't know what happens when you stay awake for longer
0:23:52 > 0:23:56than that. But our best guess is that you could slip into a coma.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58After that you could die.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00And we don't want that to happen to anybody.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03So, it's not very sensible for you stay awake for much longer.
0:24:03 > 0:24:07Sorry, hang on, I'm, I'm not really following you.
0:24:07 > 0:24:11For some reason, I'm finding it hard to concentrate these days.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14So, what made you stop wanting to go to sleep?
0:24:14 > 0:24:17I had a nightmare about bed bugs.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20- Ah, bed bugs. Do you have bed bugs? - I don't know.
0:24:20 > 0:24:24If you did have bed bugs, you'd probably know cos they'd bite you.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26If you change your sheets frequently,
0:24:26 > 0:24:28- bed bugs aren't a problem.- I see.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30DOOR OPENS
0:24:30 > 0:24:34Excuse me, is there a dream where you're walking down a corridor,
0:24:34 > 0:24:37and everyone's pointing at you and laughing?
0:24:37 > 0:24:39There probably is a dream like that.
0:24:39 > 0:24:43But, in your case, you've got make-up on and a big moustache.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48Oh!
0:24:48 > 0:24:51And are you feeling better about going to sleep now?
0:24:51 > 0:24:53I think it would really convince me
0:24:53 > 0:24:56if you said it in the form of a song and dance.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave you to it. I don't sing.
0:24:59 > 0:25:00Oh, well, that's a shame.
0:25:00 > 0:25:04# Sleep will calm you
0:25:04 > 0:25:08# Bed will rest you
0:25:08 > 0:25:10# I have got to go to sleep
0:25:11 > 0:25:14# Go to bed or go insane
0:25:15 > 0:25:19# After several days awake I have found it hard to take
0:25:19 > 0:25:22# Control back of my brain
0:25:23 > 0:25:26# I have got to close my eyes
0:25:27 > 0:25:29# Close the door upon the day
0:25:31 > 0:25:33# After several days alert
0:25:33 > 0:25:35# My head has start to hurt
0:25:35 > 0:25:37# Drop off and float away
0:25:40 > 0:25:48# And I can answer your question of why you go to bed
0:25:48 > 0:25:56# That's if you don't you'll go out of your head
0:25:56 > 0:25:58# I have got to have a kip
0:25:58 > 0:26:01# Let my brain rest for the night
0:26:01 > 0:26:04# Bed will rest you
0:26:04 > 0:26:05# I need more than 40 winks
0:26:05 > 0:26:09# That is what the experts thinks for my head to wake up right
0:26:11 > 0:26:14# I have got to go to bed
0:26:15 > 0:26:17# Go to sleep or go berserk
0:26:19 > 0:26:21# It is not coincidence
0:26:21 > 0:26:26# That I have been a little mental And my legs no longer work
0:26:27 > 0:26:32# For sleep's your mind's little playground
0:26:32 > 0:26:36# And dreams its cinema
0:26:36 > 0:26:43# Bed bugs are the extras You're the star
0:26:43 > 0:26:50# I have got to go to sleep Go to bed or go insane
0:26:50 > 0:26:58# After several days awake I have found it hard to take
0:26:58 > 0:27:00# Bed will rest you
0:27:00 > 0:27:05# Sleep will calm you
0:27:05 > 0:27:09# Bed will rest you... #
0:27:12 > 0:27:14Sorry about that. Couldn't help but burst into song.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17It was all right. You're not as good as me,
0:27:17 > 0:27:19- but you help your end up. - Oh, thank you.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22Thank you for coming, everybody.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24Little Howard hasn't slept for eight days.
0:27:24 > 0:27:28So, I really need to keep him asleep. So, if you could try very hard
0:27:28 > 0:27:30not to laugh too loudly, at any of my jokes.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32Shouldn't be any problem there.
0:27:32 > 0:27:37That's too loud. No, shh! No, you're going to wake him up.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39Shh. Yeah, that's great, yeah. OK.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41Let's get this show on the road.
0:27:41 > 0:27:45There's ah... What's the difference between a butcher's assistant,
0:27:45 > 0:27:47and an insomniac? You'll love this one.
0:27:47 > 0:27:53One of them stays awake, the other one weighs a steak.
0:27:53 > 0:27:55THEY GRUMBLE
0:27:55 > 0:27:57No, you can laugh louder than that.
0:27:57 > 0:28:02Thank you, thank you very much. Look, Gwen there's the Reichstag.
0:28:02 > 0:28:05THEY LAUGH LOUDLY
0:28:05 > 0:28:08What are you laughing at? That didn't even make any sense!
0:28:08 > 0:28:10LITTLE HOWARD LAUGHS