0:00:02 > 0:00:05MUSIC: "Crocodile Rock" by Elton John
0:00:14 > 0:00:19# I remember when rock was young Me and Susie had... #
0:00:24 > 0:00:27- Hello, Fat Harry.- Oh!
0:00:27 > 0:00:30Oh, clumsy.
0:00:30 > 0:00:34Still, as they say, no point crying over spilt milk.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Ah! Doris, what are you doing here?
0:00:37 > 0:00:40Ask no questions, I'll tell no lies, Fat Harry.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42My name is not Fat Harry!
0:00:42 > 0:00:46It's Fat Howard. Big Howard. Where's she gone?
0:00:46 > 0:00:49Big Howard, you've got breakfast cereal on your face.
0:00:49 > 0:00:54- Oh!- And, and, a little bit of milk on the floor.
0:00:54 > 0:00:55And, on the counter.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58And on the cupboards.
0:00:58 > 0:01:02- And, oh, there's a bit of cereal on the recycling box.- Yes, thank you.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04- Thanks for the job, by the way. - Aargh!
0:01:04 > 0:01:07Never look a gift horse in the mouth, as they say.
0:01:07 > 0:01:12- Do they? Who are they? - What job? And why are you here?
0:01:12 > 0:01:14And why are you talking in proverbs?
0:01:14 > 0:01:16- Where's she gone?- Never mind that.
0:01:16 > 0:01:20- Why does Doris talk so funny? - Well...
0:01:20 > 0:01:25Well, you can't teach an old dog new tricks.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28No more than a leopard can change his spots, so they say.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32See? Now she's going on about a trick where leopards
0:01:32 > 0:01:35change into spotty old dogs.
0:01:35 > 0:01:39No, it's a proverb. It goes, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks,".
0:01:39 > 0:01:42And it means, once someone gets in the habit of doing something
0:01:42 > 0:01:45exactly the same, week after week after week,
0:01:45 > 0:01:48it's very hard to get them to change. KLAXON BLARES
0:01:48 > 0:01:51I, Little Howard, have come up with another one of my Big Questions!
0:01:51 > 0:01:55What the gibbing flump are you on about, Doris?
0:01:55 > 0:01:57MARACAS RATTLE
0:01:57 > 0:02:01Oh, Fat Harry's fallen over!
0:02:01 > 0:02:03I do wish you wouldn't do that.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06And I do wish you wouldn't call me Fat Harry!
0:02:06 > 0:02:08HE CHUCKLES
0:02:08 > 0:02:10RADIO: 'Good morning, children.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12'Pensioners in Purley are celebrating today.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14'Doris has lost her maracas.'
0:02:16 > 0:02:18KLAXON BLARES
0:02:18 > 0:02:21# I love monkeys, I love monkeys
0:02:21 > 0:02:24# All those happy little Chirpy little monkeys
0:02:24 > 0:02:27# With their tails and their bananas
0:02:27 > 0:02:29# I think that if we all Were monkeys
0:02:29 > 0:02:31# We'd have happier mananas
0:02:31 > 0:02:33# Give me monkeys, lots of monkeys
0:02:33 > 0:02:37# For you know that it's the monkeys I adore
0:02:37 > 0:02:40# If my love said That she did not love those monkeys
0:02:40 > 0:02:43# I wouldn't love her any more! #
0:02:43 > 0:02:46Thank you very much!
0:02:46 > 0:02:49Did you know, that there's an old Filipino saying,
0:02:49 > 0:02:51from the Philippines, where the Filipinos live,
0:02:51 > 0:02:56a monkey dressed up, is still a monkey.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Well, that's not always true.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00Is it, Monkey Three?
0:03:00 > 0:03:02HE SNARLS
0:03:02 > 0:03:05You see? Monkeys don't dress up.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07So, if you see a monkey dressed up,
0:03:07 > 0:03:10it's probably a crocodile trying a bit too hard.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12HE SNARLS
0:03:20 > 0:03:25What kind of Big Question is, what the gibbing flump are you on about,
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Doris? What about, what's the meaning of life?
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Or, where do babies come from?
0:03:29 > 0:03:32Oh, those are good ones!
0:03:32 > 0:03:34No, no, they're not. Never ask me those questions.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Come on, let's answer it.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Why does Doris talk like that?
0:03:38 > 0:03:43- And who's this "they" she keeps going on about?- You know Doris.
0:03:43 > 0:03:47She's always trying something new. Maybe today she's just decided
0:03:47 > 0:03:50to speak in epigrams, proverbs and maxims.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54You've answered something that doesn't make any sense,
0:03:54 > 0:03:56with something else that doesn't make any sense.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00- You should be a teacher.- Oh!
0:04:00 > 0:04:03No, maxims, epigrams and proverbs are all the same thing.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06They're traditional phrases that convey wisdom or advice.
0:04:06 > 0:04:10Well, to answer my Big Question, we need to explain all of them.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13I'll help you explain one. I'm afraid a big bill came in today.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17- And I've got to find a way of paying it.- What's the bill for?
0:04:17 > 0:04:21Um... Never mind that. Let's, let's find out about maxims!
0:04:21 > 0:04:23Can you remember any proverbs she said?
0:04:23 > 0:04:25Well, she said something about
0:04:25 > 0:04:27looking for a gift in a horse's mouth.
0:04:27 > 0:04:31Never look a gift horse in the mouth. Come with me.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34OK, imagine I gave you this horse for Christmas.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36It wouldn't be much of a surprise.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40I'd know what that was, if I saw it wrapped up under a Christmas tree.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Obviously I wouldn't wrap up the horse. That would be silly.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46I'd put it in a box and I'd wrap that up.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48You'd have to poke holes in it, so he could breath.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50I wouldn't put it in a cardboard box.
0:04:50 > 0:04:54I'd put it in a horse box. Anyway, we're straying from the point.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57If I gave you this as a gift, a gift horse, if you like...
0:04:57 > 0:05:00- you shouldn't look in its mouth. - Why not?- Well...
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Shall I do my bit, now?
0:05:02 > 0:05:07- Yup.- You can tell a horse's age by examining, the shape and features
0:05:07 > 0:05:11- of, its teeth.- So, if I gave you... - So, if he gave you a horse,
0:05:11 > 0:05:14and you looked in its mouth, that suggests you'd be trying
0:05:14 > 0:05:17to tell how old it was, which also determines how much it cost.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20- Do you want a look at me mouth? - No, we're fine.
0:05:20 > 0:05:24I see. So, you're getting me a cheap,
0:05:24 > 0:05:30- stinky, old toothless horse next Christmas, then?- No. Sorry.- Really!
0:05:30 > 0:05:33- Charming!- So, what the saying means, if I gave you a horse,
0:05:33 > 0:05:35or anything, you should be grateful.
0:05:35 > 0:05:40- Even if it's not perfect. - Just a quick shufty at my gums?
0:05:40 > 0:05:44- I'm very friendly.- We haven't got time. We need to find more proverbs.
0:05:44 > 0:05:48- Thanks.- Now, are you sure I can't tempt you
0:05:48 > 0:05:50to have a quick squizz at me equine bicuspids?
0:05:53 > 0:05:57I would be getting something else, for Christmas as well, wouldn't I?
0:05:57 > 0:06:01Maybe a train set? Or at least a toothbrush, for old Stinky Breath.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05I'm not getting you a horse for Christmas, Little Howard.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08I know. Why don't you go and get a pad and pen,
0:06:08 > 0:06:12- and write down all the proverbs you can remember?- Oh, good idea.
0:06:12 > 0:06:16Right. That should keep him busy.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19Now, where's Doris? Oh! MARACAS RATTLE, HOOVER WHINES
0:06:19 > 0:06:22Mind your feet!
0:06:23 > 0:06:27Oh, I'm sorry I was late this morning, ducky.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31But you know what they say, better late than never.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Patience is a virtue.
0:06:33 > 0:06:37The best things in life come to those who wait. And all that.
0:06:37 > 0:06:42Doris, why is it exactly...? What are you late for?
0:06:42 > 0:06:48- Why are you here? - Well, your typewriter phoned me up.
0:06:48 > 0:06:52- My what?- You know, the one with the wig and the twin set.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Oh, my computer...!
0:06:54 > 0:06:56HOOVER STOPS Oh, my, my computer.
0:06:56 > 0:07:00- That's the fish. Isn't she nice? - Er...
0:07:00 > 0:07:06I had a calculator once. True story. Anyway, your computer rang me up.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09And asked me to be the cleaning lady. And I thought,
0:07:09 > 0:07:13- "well, the money's quite reasonable,"...- Right. Mother!
0:07:13 > 0:07:16HOOVER WHINES
0:07:17 > 0:07:21ELECTRONIC COUGHING
0:07:21 > 0:07:23I'm fine. Thanks for asking(!)
0:07:23 > 0:07:27I didn't. Why have you asked Doris to be our cleaning lady?
0:07:27 > 0:07:29Well, I went to the doctor's.
0:07:29 > 0:07:33And he said I can't do the housework any more. Because of my condition.
0:07:33 > 0:07:38- What condition?- Apparently, according to his expert medical opinion,
0:07:38 > 0:07:42- I'm a computer!- Never(!)
0:07:42 > 0:07:45Ridiculous, isn't it? I've asked him for a second opinion.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49- But I am taking it easy for now. Just to be on the safe side.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51We've had a really big bill come in.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53I really can't afford to pay a cleaning lady.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57We're not paying her much. I've written her a watertight contract.
0:07:57 > 0:08:01But, if after all the hard work that I've put into it, you still want to
0:08:01 > 0:08:06- get rid of her, just write her a letter.- Right. Well, get me a pen.
0:08:06 > 0:08:10- And give her six month's notice. - What?!
0:08:10 > 0:08:13- Big Howard, we need to answer my Big Question.- I'm sorry,
0:08:13 > 0:08:17but now I've not only got to pay for this bill for my glass...
0:08:17 > 0:08:20For this bill. But now I've got to pay a prattling cleaning lady
0:08:20 > 0:08:23for the next six months.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27- Ah!- He's in a better mood than he was this morning.
0:08:27 > 0:08:32- Mother, where do proverbs come from? - Oh, from all over the place, dear.
0:08:32 > 0:08:36Some come from the Bible, and other ancient manuscripts.
0:08:36 > 0:08:42Brilliant! So, they're like clues to a treasure map!
0:08:42 > 0:08:46- Are they?- Yeah!
0:08:46 > 0:08:50- What if Doris and her epi-grannies...- Uh, epigrams.
0:08:50 > 0:08:54What if Doris is the key to a magnificent treasure?
0:08:54 > 0:08:56That will help Big Howard pay his bill.
0:08:56 > 0:09:01- Little Howard, Mother, I've made a decision.- What?- What?
0:09:01 > 0:09:04I've got a plan to make money to pay that bill.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06BOTH: Are you going to get a job?
0:09:06 > 0:09:11Oh, good heavens, no. No, I'm going to make a hit pop record!
0:09:11 > 0:09:13I think we better stick to the
0:09:13 > 0:09:17- all-proverbs-are-clues-to-treasure plan, Little Howard.- Yeah.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Sounds more likely to work.
0:09:19 > 0:09:24One sec. Yes, I just had a quick read of the entire internet,
0:09:24 > 0:09:28and I found this book. It's called, The D Finchley Code.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30It puts forward a theory that all proverbs
0:09:30 > 0:09:37- are written by an ancient secret society.- So, what we've got to do
0:09:37 > 0:09:41to pay Big Howard's bill, is work out what loads more proverbs mean,
0:09:41 > 0:09:47- follow the clues and find the treasure!- Sounds plausible.
0:09:47 > 0:09:51# Can we run
0:09:51 > 0:09:53# With the antelope?
0:09:53 > 0:09:55As my affection... #
0:09:55 > 0:09:59That's ridiculous. Antelope, for goodness sake!
0:09:59 > 0:10:02MUSIC: "Crocodile Rock" by Elton John
0:10:02 > 0:10:06Elton, give me inspiration. HARP PLAYS
0:10:06 > 0:10:09# Can we run
0:10:09 > 0:10:13# With the bison Of my affection...? #
0:10:13 > 0:10:17- Thanks, Elton, yeah! - Nice shrine, Fat Harry.
0:10:17 > 0:10:22I love that Elton John. Now, you carry on. Don't mind about me.
0:10:22 > 0:10:28My name is Fat Harry. No, Big Harry, Big Fat Harry?
0:10:28 > 0:10:30Reg Dwight? I don't know what my name is.
0:10:30 > 0:10:35- Don't worry, whatever your name is. You won't know I'm here.- Thank you.
0:10:35 > 0:10:39# Can we...? # DUSTER HITS KEYBOARD TUNELESSLY
0:10:39 > 0:10:44Yeah, great. Yup, lovely. You're as quiet as a mouse(!)
0:10:44 > 0:10:46So, what's that big bill you've got to pay for?
0:10:46 > 0:10:50- Is it for them fancy glasses? - No, none of your business.
0:10:50 > 0:10:51Yes, you're quite right.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53You know what they say.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56You shouldn't air your dirty laundry in public.
0:10:56 > 0:11:01- Oh, really? My second clue!- No. What, what are you talking about?
0:11:01 > 0:11:04You didn't hear anything about glasses, did you?
0:11:04 > 0:11:06I'm just going to get the laundry basket.
0:11:06 > 0:11:10No, no, under no circumstances! Don't you dare! Come back here!
0:11:10 > 0:11:16Oh, they're all the same, those boys. Mucky pups.
0:11:16 > 0:11:22Roll up, roll up! Come and see Big Howard's pants. Look at that pair!
0:11:22 > 0:11:25It looks like a lorry's reversed over them! Roll up, roll up!
0:11:25 > 0:11:29- Come and look at a grown man's girdle.- What are you doing?!
0:11:29 > 0:11:32Don't air your dirty laundry in public means you shouldn't blab
0:11:32 > 0:11:36about your private life in front of people you don't know very well!
0:11:36 > 0:11:41Oh, OK. I'll do that as well. Attention! Attention!
0:11:41 > 0:11:46Big Howard bites his toenails while watching Hannah Montana!
0:11:46 > 0:11:50Also, Big Howard reads Harry Potter on the toilet!
0:11:50 > 0:11:53And he hasn't even finished The Philosopher's Stone,
0:11:53 > 0:11:56even though he's always in there for about 40 minutes!
0:11:56 > 0:12:01This saying isn't true. You SHOULD air your dirty laundry in public.
0:12:01 > 0:12:07- It's great fun!- No, it is very embarrassing indeed! Point proven!
0:12:07 > 0:12:10Can we, can we please go home?
0:12:10 > 0:12:13MUSIC: "Sound Of The Underground" by Girls Aloud
0:12:18 > 0:12:23- What was all that about?!- Shush, I've got to work out these clues!
0:12:23 > 0:12:27Right, so a load of laundry, this pair of old pants.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31And don't look a gift horse in the mouth. So, horse poo.
0:12:31 > 0:12:36- Oh, that's disgusting!- A-ha!
0:12:36 > 0:12:39Where you going?!
0:12:42 > 0:12:46What are you doing? I'm supposed to be writing a hit pop record!
0:12:46 > 0:12:50Oh, it's a worm! I'm going to find the treasure in this bit of park!
0:12:50 > 0:12:56- What? What treasure? Why this bit? - Cos this is the dog-walking bit.
0:12:56 > 0:13:00- And that's where there's loads of poo!- Oh!
0:13:00 > 0:13:04I can't find any treasure here, though. Just loads of old worms.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07Well, you know what they say. The early bird catches the worm.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10Brilliant! Wait a minute,
0:13:10 > 0:13:14what use is a proverb that tells birds when they should catch worms?
0:13:14 > 0:13:16What it really means is, if you get up early,
0:13:16 > 0:13:19you'll get loads of stuff done. I got up at seven o'clock,
0:13:19 > 0:13:24and I've already written a fantastic song about antelopes, and you've...
0:13:24 > 0:13:31- um, dug a hole in a pooey field. - I see...!
0:13:33 > 0:13:36Little Howard, what's all this about clues and...? Aargh!
0:13:36 > 0:13:39Ow...!
0:13:39 > 0:13:42So, the next clue is this worm.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47- You've got a parcel. - That'll be the D Finchley Code.
0:13:47 > 0:13:52Mother ordered it for me. It'll help us decode more proverbs.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54This book looks a bit dodgy to me.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57- You know, you can't judge a book by its cover.- Shush, Doris!
0:13:57 > 0:14:03- We need to find more proverbs! - How is she doing that?!
0:14:03 > 0:14:06Is she a wizard?
0:14:06 > 0:14:10You beauties! You're going to give me all the song writing power
0:14:10 > 0:14:13of pop legend Elton John!
0:14:18 > 0:14:23# Love is like an otter
0:14:23 > 0:14:27# An otter in the wind... #
0:14:27 > 0:14:30- Where did you get those glasses from?- What glasses?
0:14:30 > 0:14:35- How are you people doing that?! - Those fancy, spangly ones!
0:14:35 > 0:14:38I definitely didn't buy them off a pop memorabilia auction site,
0:14:38 > 0:14:42for £5,000. And don't even go suggesting that I did!
0:14:42 > 0:14:47OK... Erm, that's a very nice song, Big Howard.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50Really? Love is like an otter, an otter in the wind?
0:14:50 > 0:14:54Yeah, I'm very happy with the tune, but I can't get the lyrics right.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57And lyrics are really important. MARACAS RATTLE
0:14:57 > 0:15:00Well, you said a bucket-load there, Fat Harry.
0:15:00 > 0:15:05- They say the pen is mightier than the sword.- Do they?
0:15:07 > 0:15:09I don't know how you put up with him.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14# It seems to me you live your life
0:15:14 > 0:15:17# Like an otter in the wind...! #
0:15:17 > 0:15:22En garde! I challenge you to a duel! Pick a Biro, any Biro.
0:15:22 > 0:15:23Oh, I'll have a red one!
0:15:25 > 0:15:30Prove to me that your pen is mightier than my sword!
0:15:30 > 0:15:32No, that's not what it means!
0:15:32 > 0:15:35It means words are more persuasive than actions!
0:15:35 > 0:15:39I know what they should call you - Big COWARD!
0:15:42 > 0:15:44- Geronimo!- Aaaargh!
0:15:50 > 0:15:51Yah!
0:15:51 > 0:15:54Aaargh!
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Yeeaaargh!
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Zainab Badawe!
0:16:01 > 0:16:04THEY GRUNT
0:16:04 > 0:16:07- Nice battle cry, by the way. - Oh, thank you.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Hai Karate!
0:16:12 > 0:16:13Hang on, this isn't fair!
0:16:13 > 0:16:18Come on, I can't strike until I see the blacks of your nibs!
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
0:16:23 > 0:16:27Whack! Take that!
0:16:27 > 0:16:28New Kids On the Block!
0:16:30 > 0:16:34'Who will win the epic struggle between sword and great big pencil?
0:16:34 > 0:16:38'Stay tuned to Little Howard's Big Question to find out.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41'In the meantime, you can discover if a fool and his money
0:16:41 > 0:16:45'are soon parted... during these advertisements!'
0:16:48 > 0:16:53'They say it takes two to tango. Well, not any more.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55'How To Do The One-Man Tango is a new magazine,
0:16:55 > 0:16:57'for the man who wants to tango alone.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00'From first steps to - ooh! -first aid.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02'From designing a costume to getting a life,
0:17:02 > 0:17:06'How To Do The One-Man Tango builds up into a valuable resource,
0:17:06 > 0:17:10'until issue three, when you won't be able to find it anywhere.'
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Hang on a minute... Ha-ha!
0:17:35 > 0:17:37BIG HOWARD CHUCKLES
0:17:37 > 0:17:40Well, that seemed pretty conclusive.
0:17:40 > 0:17:44It's official. The rubber on the end of the massive pencil
0:17:44 > 0:17:48- is mightier than the cartoon sword. - Anyway, I can't hang around here.
0:17:48 > 0:17:53- My records won't write themselves! - I think they probably could.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57# I got a really, really Really big pencil
0:17:57 > 0:18:01# And I'm going to draw you A big picture
0:18:01 > 0:18:05# Of a really, really Really big pencil
0:18:05 > 0:18:09# Drawing you A slightly smaller picture. #
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Genius, absolutely brilliant...!
0:18:11 > 0:18:15You know, they say a picture paints a thousand words.
0:18:15 > 0:18:20- Do they? That's fascinating(!) - Oh, they have been busy(!)
0:18:20 > 0:18:23I think it's marvellous that you're writing a pop song
0:18:23 > 0:18:27to pay for those ridiculously expensive Elton John glasses.
0:18:27 > 0:18:31- Shh! Be quiet.- I mean, they say actions speak louder than words.
0:18:31 > 0:18:35- Do they, really?- Wait a minute, make up your mind, they!
0:18:35 > 0:18:39Which is better, action or pictures? Are they both better than words?
0:18:39 > 0:18:42We've got to test it, or we'll never find the treasure!
0:18:42 > 0:18:46What, what's this treasure you keep on going on about? Little Howard!
0:18:46 > 0:18:48I've forgotten the song now!
0:18:48 > 0:18:51We have heard that actions speak louder than words.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54But we've also heard that a picture paints a thousand words.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57But which is better, actions or pictures?
0:18:57 > 0:19:01To start Little Howard will test a picture paints 1000 words.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03You guess the proverb I mean.
0:19:03 > 0:19:07But I'm only allowed to communicate through drawing. Start the clock!
0:19:14 > 0:19:17- Bucket.- Oh, yeah, OK.
0:19:17 > 0:19:21- No, I... Oh, I can't talk.- Chef.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23- Gordon Ramsay!- It's a proverb!
0:19:23 > 0:19:26LITTLE HOWARD MUMBLES EXCITEDLY
0:19:26 > 0:19:30THEY ALL SHOUT AT ONCE
0:19:30 > 0:19:35- Soup!- Water!- Sounds, sounds like... Ah! A-hah, ha...!
0:19:37 > 0:19:39- Pepper.- Sounds like...
0:19:41 > 0:19:46Did someone say, "Too many chefs spoil the broth,"? Hurray!
0:19:46 > 0:19:51- Stop the clock.- You told them! They only got half of it!
0:19:53 > 0:19:57That was three minutes and seven seconds. But you did cheat.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00- But what does it mean? - Too many cooks spoil the broth,
0:20:00 > 0:20:03means that some things are best done by a few people,
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Rather than loads of people. For example,
0:20:05 > 0:20:09if you got all the chefs off TV and they all tried to cook
0:20:09 > 0:20:12one dish, it would be chaos. HARP PLAYS
0:20:12 > 0:20:16Hello, kids, we're going to make some pukka, healthy broth.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18I'll give you pukka, you BLEEP!
0:20:18 > 0:20:22Mind your language, or I'll smack you round the head with Percy Pepper!
0:20:22 > 0:20:28Come on, then! I'll take you all on! Let's have ya!
0:20:28 > 0:20:32Ooh! Could we just pour some cream in?
0:20:34 > 0:20:38- Blimey! I see what they mean. - Right, now it's my turn.
0:20:38 > 0:20:42I've got to try and prove actions speak louder than words, so...
0:20:45 > 0:20:50So I've got to try and get across a proverb using the power of mime.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Start the clock! Um...
0:20:55 > 0:20:57ALL: Eight words!
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Fish!
0:21:03 > 0:21:05- Water.- Swimming.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Fishes swimming!
0:21:07 > 0:21:09ALL: Sounds like.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Sounds like "sea"!
0:21:13 > 0:21:15Sea!
0:21:18 > 0:21:22- ALL: Sounds like...20.- 20!
0:21:22 > 0:21:27- ALL: Plenty! - Plenty!
0:21:29 > 0:21:30ALL: First word!
0:21:30 > 0:21:35ALL: Sounds like... THEY ALL SHOUT AT ONCE
0:21:35 > 0:21:38- Bear!- Bear!- Bear!
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Fishing in the sea.
0:21:41 > 0:21:42ALL: Sounds like.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49ALL: Fourth word...
0:21:51 > 0:21:54ALL: Sounds like...four.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56Sounds like "four".
0:21:56 > 0:21:59- Poor!- Sore!
0:21:59 > 0:22:00More! More!
0:22:00 > 0:22:05- There are plenty more fish in the sea.- Whoo!
0:22:05 > 0:22:10- Stop the clock!- OK. Well, they guessed yours in four minutes 22.
0:22:10 > 0:22:14But they guessed mine in three minutes seven. So that means I win,
0:22:14 > 0:22:19and pictures do paint a thousand words!
0:22:19 > 0:22:23You cheated. You said the answer! They only got half the answer!
0:22:23 > 0:22:26- Just showing a little bit of initiative.- That's a draw.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29- If anything it's a draw. I win, or it's a draw. Your choice.- OK,
0:22:29 > 0:22:32- it's a draw.- Thank you. Thank you for your help, everybody.
0:22:32 > 0:22:37- Bye!- Thank you. I did win, didn't I? I did win, he just cheated.
0:22:37 > 0:22:42Now, then. This one's of me in Rome, doing as the Romans do.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45- MOTHER: - What a lovely toga, dear.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48Oh, and this is my Hadrian's Wall.
0:22:48 > 0:22:53Oh, and this one's me having my cake.
0:22:53 > 0:22:57And this one's of me eating it.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00So, plenty more fish in the sea, must be...
0:23:00 > 0:23:05Well, cod, represented by this cod.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09That's a plaice.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12Plaice is a load of poo. It's a bit untidy but that's not fair.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15No, it's got to be cod. But what does it mean, though?
0:23:15 > 0:23:17I thought there weren't enough fish in sea!
0:23:17 > 0:23:20There's plenty more fish in the sea is another proverb.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23You say it when someone splits up with their girlfriend or boyfriend.
0:23:23 > 0:23:28It means you'll meet someone else. There'll be others, which is true,
0:23:28 > 0:23:33because 26% of men and 21% of women in Britain are single
0:23:33 > 0:23:36and looking for love. The top dating websites in the country
0:23:36 > 0:23:41- have over four million members. - Oh! How do you know?
0:23:41 > 0:23:44Um... Shut up.!
0:23:46 > 0:23:51- Oh!- What? - Well, you've nearly got it!
0:23:51 > 0:23:56You're missing "old", as in...
0:23:56 > 0:24:01you can't teach an old dog new tricks.
0:24:01 > 0:24:07And actions and pictures are equally powerful,
0:24:07 > 0:24:11so, you stick in an equals sign. And...
0:24:11 > 0:24:15Oh, yes. Well, that's because I say so. Right?
0:24:15 > 0:24:19"Code equals a load of old poo."
0:24:19 > 0:24:25- Blimey! How did you do that?! - Take a look at the back flap.
0:24:25 > 0:24:29- Oh, have you got a mirror? - Of the book!
0:24:33 > 0:24:36It's you!
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Well, my full name is Doris Finchley.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42And I wrote that book a couple of years ago,
0:24:42 > 0:24:46when they'd publish any old rubbish if it had an ancient code in it.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48But what about the treasure?
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Well, I made loads of money out of it!
0:24:51 > 0:24:53But I'm afraid I made it all up.
0:24:53 > 0:24:57So, as it says here, the code is a load of old poo.
0:24:57 > 0:25:01So, everything I've been doing over the last half hour,
0:25:01 > 0:25:03is completely useless?!
0:25:03 > 0:25:08- The most important thing is, we've learnt a lot.- Well, whoop-dee-doo(!)
0:25:08 > 0:25:14- I'm so angry I could sing! - ROCK INTRO PLAYS
0:25:22 > 0:25:26# What the gibbing flump Are you on about, Doris?
0:25:28 > 0:25:31# What's that they say About a gift horse?
0:25:33 > 0:25:36# Oh, I never really understand A word you say
0:25:36 > 0:25:38# I guess it doesn't really matter Anyway
0:25:38 > 0:25:41# Oh, Doris
0:25:41 > 0:25:44# Yeah, Doris
0:25:44 > 0:25:47# What the blooming flip Are you on about, Doris?
0:25:49 > 0:25:53# They say you can't see the trees For all of the forest
0:25:54 > 0:25:57Oh, it never really Made a lot of sense to me
0:25:57 > 0:26:01# Using all those words From ancient history, oh, Doris,
0:26:01 > 0:26:05# Yeah, Doris
0:26:05 > 0:26:07# How do you like them apples?
0:26:07 > 0:26:10# They don't fall far from the tree
0:26:10 > 0:26:12# An apple a day Keeps the doctor away
0:26:12 > 0:26:16# But that never really Made a lot of sense to me
0:26:16 > 0:26:19# Oh, Doris
0:26:19 > 0:26:21# Mm, Doris
0:26:26 > 0:26:32# Oh, what the flipping heck Are you gabbing on, Doris?
0:26:32 > 0:26:36# You must have really confused Your late husband Morris
0:26:36 > 0:26:40# They say the early bird Catches the early worm
0:26:40 > 0:26:44# Your Morris must have been Really concerned about Doris
0:26:44 > 0:26:47# Yeah, Doris
0:26:47 > 0:26:50# What you taking 'bout, Doris?
0:26:50 > 0:26:52# Oh, Doris
0:26:52 > 0:26:54# Crazy old Doris. #
0:27:04 > 0:27:07Just took delivery of another platinum disc.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10And a great big bag of royalty money!
0:27:10 > 0:27:13Now we can definitely afford my Elton John glasses.
0:27:15 > 0:27:19- And about my wages? - Certainly, my good woman.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22How much remuneration did you agree with Mother?
0:27:22 > 0:27:26- £1,000.- How much?!
0:27:26 > 0:27:29- An hour.- What?!
0:27:29 > 0:27:32- She's done us a watertight contract.- Mother!
0:27:32 > 0:27:36Oh, that looks about right.
0:27:36 > 0:27:42- Same time next week? - No!- £1,000 an hour?!
0:27:42 > 0:27:44We're not giving you a reference!
0:27:44 > 0:27:47Well, at least I've still got my Elton John glasses.
0:27:47 > 0:27:52- Oh, no, you haven't!- Elton John! - Don't take my name in vain.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54I warned you, if you didn't pay up for my glasses.
0:27:54 > 0:27:58I'd come down on you like a ton of platform glitter boots.
0:27:58 > 0:27:59Now, give 'em here.
0:28:00 > 0:28:04- Ow!- What's more, I'm giving you negative feedback.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06And that's plastic.
0:28:08 > 0:28:11Monkey-doos!
0:28:11 > 0:28:14Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd