0:00:15 > 0:00:18How much?!
0:00:18 > 0:00:21Oh, stop it, Big Howard! That tickles!
0:00:21 > 0:00:25Mother, will you look the other way when I'm doing my online banking?
0:00:25 > 0:00:27Oooh! Why did you spend £300
0:00:27 > 0:00:32- at Mr Chunky's Gentleman's Girdles And Corsets Emporium?- I didn't!
0:00:32 > 0:00:35I mean, of all the diabolical libraries!
0:00:35 > 0:00:37"Diabolical liberties," Little Howard.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40Hold my calls, Big Howard, I've got work to do!
0:00:40 > 0:00:42You'll have to hold your own calls.
0:00:42 > 0:00:46I've got to set up a payment to my favourite tax-deductable charity.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48HORN BLARES
0:00:48 > 0:00:52I, Little Howard, have come up with another of my Bi-i-ig Questions!
0:00:52 > 0:00:56Why can't I get hold of Sawblade the Municipal?
0:00:56 > 0:00:58What?!
0:00:58 > 0:01:01Um, Big Howard, you've just donated every penny
0:01:01 > 0:01:03you own to your favourite charity.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05How very generous of you.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10What IS Big Howard's favourite charity?
0:01:10 > 0:01:12AFPFSFEVIP.
0:01:12 > 0:01:16The Association For Providing Free Scarves For Every Vole In Purley.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Good. So it's not gone to waste, then.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20HORN BLARES
0:01:20 > 0:01:25# I love moneys, I love moneys
0:01:25 > 0:01:27# All those happy little chirpy little moneys
0:01:27 > 0:01:30# With their tails and their bananas
0:01:30 > 0:01:34# I thin that if we all were moneys we'd have happier mananas
0:01:34 > 0:01:36# Give me moneys, lots of moneys
0:01:36 > 0:01:40# For you now that it's the moneys I adore
0:01:40 > 0:01:42# If my love said that she did not love those moneys
0:01:42 > 0:01:46# I wouldn't love her any more. #
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Thank you very much!
0:01:48 > 0:01:50The last 2,000 times you've sung that song,
0:01:50 > 0:01:53the words were, "I love monkeys."
0:01:53 > 0:01:56Yeah, the letter K's fallen off the autocue.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59You shouldn't need an autocue! You should have learned the script!
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Sorry, Bag Harold.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03Big Howard!
0:02:05 > 0:02:06Got... Got... Got... Got...
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Got... Got...
0:02:09 > 0:02:12You see, it was all a mistake...
0:02:12 > 0:02:17No, no, nobody thinks that voles need free scarves more than I do,
0:02:17 > 0:02:19but that's all my money.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Hello?
0:02:22 > 0:02:26- Fancy giving all your money to voles!- I didn't, you did!
0:02:26 > 0:02:29- You're the one that pressed the button with your face!- Got... Got!
0:02:29 > 0:02:32Not him again! I've got every single one!
0:02:32 > 0:02:37Little Howard, what are you doing? And who is Sump-bend the Mountebank?
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Sawblade the Municipal.
0:02:39 > 0:02:40He's the rarest Belph card in
0:02:40 > 0:02:44Dragonmoon Magicmoon Quest. You haven't got him, have you?
0:02:44 > 0:02:47The rarest what card in What What Magic What What?!
0:02:47 > 0:02:50Dragonmoon Magicmoon Quest.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52It's only the most popular trading card game
0:02:52 > 0:02:54for the under-12s this fortnight.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58Get with the programme, loser!
0:02:58 > 0:02:59And you've got every single card
0:02:59 > 0:03:03- apart from See-Saw the Moneypenny? - Sawblade the Municipal!
0:03:03 > 0:03:05The only person who has Sawblade is Boy On The Swings.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11- Oh, not him again!- Yes! Him again. I'm in a bidding war.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14- How can you be in a bidding war? You haven't got any money!- Barter!
0:03:14 > 0:03:18It's how people bought and sold things before money was invented -
0:03:18 > 0:03:21exchanging them for things they thought were of equal value.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24- Bartering. - You don't know anything, Mother.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26It's not bartering, it's swapsies.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29And the price for Sawblade's getting out of hand.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30It started off at four penny chews
0:03:30 > 0:03:34and now it's got up to Jilly's mum's car and a Fruit Corner!
0:03:34 > 0:03:37But what could possibly be more valuable than that?!
0:03:37 > 0:03:40How about £90 million worth of gold?
0:03:40 > 0:03:43MUSIC: "Gold Digger" by Kanye West
0:03:43 > 0:03:45# Now, I ain't saying she's a gold-digger
0:03:45 > 0:03:47# But she ain't messing with no broke bro
0:03:47 > 0:03:50# Now, I ain't saying she's a gold-digger
0:03:50 > 0:03:52# But she ain't messing with no broke bro
0:03:52 > 0:03:54# Get down, girl, go ahead, get down
0:03:54 > 0:03:58# Get down, girl, go ahead, get down
0:03:58 > 0:04:00# Get down, girl, go ahead, get down
0:04:00 > 0:04:02# Get down, girl, go ahead... #
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Er, sorry, why have you got a wheelbarrow with you?
0:04:08 > 0:04:13Oh, yes. This is just my lucky wheelbarrow. I take it everywhere.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15You can't fill it up with gold or bank notes.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17Why not?! You've got loads!
0:04:17 > 0:04:21Gold is only valuable because of its scarcity.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24Ooh! Is that the town where Dracula lives?
0:04:24 > 0:04:29Scarcity actually means that something's really rare.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Right underneath where we're standing now
0:04:31 > 0:04:33are the Bank of England's gold vaults,
0:04:33 > 0:04:38where they've got £90 billion worth of gold in them.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Nobody really liked carrying gold around.
0:04:40 > 0:04:46Gold is so heavy. This bar weighs two stone or 13kg.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49They would take it into the Bank of England, leave it
0:04:49 > 0:04:54with the bank and get given a receipt or a bank note in return for it.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58If you look at a £5 note, for example, it still says on it,
0:04:58 > 0:05:01"I promise to pay the bearer on demand, the sum of..."
0:05:01 > 0:05:04signed by the Chief Cashier of the Bank Of England.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07- Can I keep this?- No.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Thank you.
0:05:11 > 0:05:17I'm not trying to steal your gold or anything! Just coming!
0:05:20 > 0:05:24So that's why I can't let you take any gold or bank notes away with you.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Come on, I'll scratch your back, you scratch mine.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29What do you mean by "scratch my back"?
0:05:29 > 0:05:33Well, I mean, I'd actually physically scratch your back.
0:05:33 > 0:05:38So you're saying that in return for me letting you scratch my back,
0:05:38 > 0:05:42I would let you walk out of here with a load of gold and bank notes?
0:05:42 > 0:05:44That's about the size of it, yes.
0:05:44 > 0:05:48Do you know, if an adult had tried that, they'd be in big trouble.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51ALARM WAILING
0:05:51 > 0:05:54What?!
0:05:54 > 0:05:59# She gives me money when I'm in need... #
0:06:01 > 0:06:05I do like voles, but seriously, I need to get my money back.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07Thanks very much for the scarves, mister!
0:06:07 > 0:06:12It's a pleasure... Hey! Why do you need eight scarves?!
0:06:12 > 0:06:14Hello? Hello?
0:06:14 > 0:06:18Argh! The Boy On A Swing is just being unreasonable now!
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Why, what's Chilblain the Medicinal going for now?
0:06:21 > 0:06:23It's Sawblade the Municipal!
0:06:23 > 0:06:27Darren Hughes, who smells of eggs, has offered him a go on his scooter
0:06:27 > 0:06:30and his mum's villa in the South of France.
0:06:30 > 0:06:35- Blimey!- Yes! I know! He never lets anyone have a go on his scooter!
0:06:35 > 0:06:38No! I mean...blimey,
0:06:38 > 0:06:43that is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life!
0:06:43 > 0:06:49# Can anybody find me somebody to love? #
0:06:53 > 0:06:56THAT is the most beautiful woman you've seen in your life?
0:06:56 > 0:06:59I think you need to pay more attention, Big Howard.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05I need to know what the most expensive thing in the world is.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08Jacob Masters, the one with the built-up shoe,
0:07:08 > 0:07:12- has just really upped the ante. - You mean he's put the price up?- Yes.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14He's put the price up to his auntie.
0:07:14 > 0:07:19- She cooks very nice cakes, and she's got a glass eye!- Cool!
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Roger, this woman's amazing!
0:07:23 > 0:07:25She's a litter picker in the park.
0:07:25 > 0:07:29So you've fallen for a pooper scooper. What you telling me for?
0:07:29 > 0:07:33Well, I need some advice, um, and you're the only person I know
0:07:33 > 0:07:36who isn't a child or a computer.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Well, you've come to the right pigeon.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40I'm very popular with the birds. And the chicks.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43But how do I make her like me?
0:07:43 > 0:07:46- Propose.- What?!- Propose marriage to her as soon as you speak to her.
0:07:46 > 0:07:50- She'll like that. - Won't that freak her out a bit?
0:07:50 > 0:07:54Well, look at you - she's going to be freaked out anyway.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57One of the most expensive things in the world is a building!
0:07:57 > 0:07:59Where do you think it is?
0:07:59 > 0:08:02Well, it's not in Purley, so...Croydon?
0:08:02 > 0:08:04It's in space!
0:08:04 > 0:08:08It's the International Space Station! It's the largest man-made
0:08:08 > 0:08:13thing in space, it weighs 350 metric tonnes, travels around the world
0:08:13 > 0:08:1816 times a day and is estimated to be worth 160 billion dollars!
0:08:18 > 0:08:21Wow!
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Little Howard to Ground Control.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50Aaaargh!
0:08:51 > 0:08:54- Aaaargh!- Bad dream sequence?
0:08:54 > 0:08:59- You really think I should buy her a diamond ring?!- Definitely!
0:08:59 > 0:09:01But I've given all my money to voles!
0:09:01 > 0:09:03- Shouldn't I get to know her first?- Oh, no. Fatal.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07Give her a whacking great diamond and ask her to marry you.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10It never fails. Given all your money to what?!
0:09:10 > 0:09:13The next thing on my list is the Great Star Of Africa.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17Look, I got into enough trouble trying to nick a space station!
0:09:17 > 0:09:20Oh, it's not a star, it's a diamond!
0:09:20 > 0:09:23Big Howard, can we go to Africa, please?
0:09:23 > 0:09:26- Only if I can go halves on the diamond!- It's not in Africa,
0:09:26 > 0:09:31it's in the Tower Of London - it is part of the Crown Jewels.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35BOTH: The Crown Jewels?
0:09:35 > 0:09:38MUSIC: "Diamonds Are Forever"
0:09:43 > 0:09:46# Diamonds are forever
0:09:46 > 0:09:52# They are all I need to please me
0:09:52 > 0:09:55# They can stimulate and tease me
0:09:55 > 0:09:59# They won't leave in the night
0:09:59 > 0:10:05# I've no fear that they might desert me... #
0:10:05 > 0:10:11It says here that the Star of Africa is the largest polished diamond
0:10:11 > 0:10:15in the world, which was cut from the biggest diamond ever dug up -
0:10:15 > 0:10:20- the Cullinan Diamond, which weighed 530 carrots!- What!?
0:10:20 > 0:10:23It weighed the same as 530 carrots?!
0:10:23 > 0:10:26Yeah! Oh, oh, no, no, carat.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30- It's spelt C-A-R-A-T.- No, it isn't.
0:10:30 > 0:10:34No, it isn't. Ooh, in this case, it is.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36Carat, when it isn't an orange root vegetable,
0:10:36 > 0:10:40is how they measure the weight of a diamond.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43You can value a diamond by its weight and by its brilliance.
0:10:43 > 0:10:44Brilliance!
0:10:44 > 0:10:50# Don't need the money, boys, cos I got lots and lots... #
0:10:50 > 0:10:53Excuse me, are you a Lambchopper?
0:10:53 > 0:10:58- Beefeater.- Bless you. - Beefeater is our nickname.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01Yeoman Warders of the Tower of London are called Beefeaters.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04Right, OK. How much, then?
0:11:04 > 0:11:08- How much for what? - How much for the Crown Jewels?
0:11:08 > 0:11:11- The Crown Jewels are priceless. - Yes, I had noticed that.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13Have you broken your pricing sticker gun?
0:11:13 > 0:11:16We don't have a pricing sticker gun.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Doesn't matter how much money you've got, you cannot buy them.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22OK, you've pushed me into this...
0:11:22 > 0:11:24I think you'll find that should cover it.
0:11:24 > 0:11:29- What's that?- That is Higgsbalm, Lord of Hamsnazzum.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32The unifying overlord of the honey-glazed kingdoms
0:11:32 > 0:11:34of Ham and Snazzum?
0:11:36 > 0:11:39- His flinging power is...- Go away!
0:11:39 > 0:11:41- Can someone discuss...- That way!
0:11:53 > 0:11:56SQUEAKING NOISES
0:11:58 > 0:12:00Two, three, four...
0:12:00 > 0:12:02# Thank you for the scarves! Thank you for the scarves! #
0:12:02 > 0:12:07Go away! Shoo, shoo, go away! No, go away.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Flippin' voles!
0:12:09 > 0:12:12- The Chickenlicker said... - Beefeater.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15Yeah, he said I couldn't have the Crown Jewels,
0:12:15 > 0:12:18not even in swapsies for Higgsbalm, Lord of Hamsnazzum!
0:12:18 > 0:12:22What?! But that's the only card that can summon the Skuff Buzzard!
0:12:22 > 0:12:25I told him! But he didn't seem to care!
0:12:25 > 0:12:28Well, he must have been eating infected beef.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33- Little Howard, come and look at these.- Oh, they're lovely.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36- What are they? - They're fake diamond rings.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39I couldn't afford a real one cos of the voles.
0:12:39 > 0:12:43That one looks like an ice cube glued to a key ring.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Roger said I need diamond ring
0:12:45 > 0:12:47to persuade the girl who works down the park to marry me.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Why don't you just ask her out?
0:12:49 > 0:12:53Well, that's just... Ooh. That might actually work! Yeah.
0:12:53 > 0:12:58Really, Big Howard, you should know by now Roger's stupid featherbrained
0:12:58 > 0:13:01plans only ever lead to trouble.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03Hello?
0:13:03 > 0:13:06About the Crown Jewels.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08- Do you want to nick 'em? - I'll be right over.
0:13:11 > 0:13:16It has long been my ambition to steal, thieve, nick, snatch,
0:13:16 > 0:13:19plunder or pilfer the Crown Jewels.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23I have devised three brilliant, foolproof plans to choose from.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Which cannot possibly go wrong.
0:13:25 > 0:13:29Plan A - we follow the lead of the only man who has ever
0:13:29 > 0:13:33attempted this audacious feat, Colonel Thomas Blood.
0:13:33 > 0:13:39In 1671, Colonel Thomas Blood set about trying to steal
0:13:39 > 0:13:41the Crown Jewels.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45He dressed up as a vicar and befriended Talbot Edwards,
0:13:45 > 0:13:48the custodian of the Crown Jewels.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51The Crown Jewels have a custard toad called Ian?
0:13:51 > 0:13:54- No, custodian means he was in charge of 'em.- Oh, right.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57After visiting Talbot several times,
0:13:57 > 0:14:00he asked if he and his mates could 'ave a squizz at the King's bling.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03When the vault was open, Colonel Blood hit Edwards over the head
0:14:03 > 0:14:05with a mallet and stabbed him.
0:14:05 > 0:14:09Then he flattened the crown, stuffed the orb and sceptre down his pants,
0:14:09 > 0:14:11after failing to saw it in half.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15At this point, Edwards woke up and shouted.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17Murder! The Crown is stolen!
0:14:17 > 0:14:21And the gang was captured. Colonel Blood was a canny fella, though,
0:14:21 > 0:14:24and refused to be interviewed by anyone but King Charles II himself.
0:14:24 > 0:14:29- Why?- Because he knew the King was a bit of a spaniel.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31I don't know, Roger...
0:14:31 > 0:14:34Sounds a bit murdery.
0:14:34 > 0:14:38Fine! Plan B - the Queen will be flashing some of her fancy danglers
0:14:38 > 0:14:41at the State Opening of Parliament.
0:14:41 > 0:14:46As she enters the House of Lords, we swing down from the Press Gallery
0:14:46 > 0:14:48with big nets, nab the twinklies and escape!
0:14:48 > 0:14:52Nothing could possibly go wrong!
0:14:56 > 0:14:59Now, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with the first two,
0:14:59 > 0:15:02- but what's Plan C?- Plan C.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05Oh, yes! We drive around the Tower of London
0:15:05 > 0:15:08really fast in brightly coloured pedal Minis, and shout at each other
0:15:08 > 0:15:10like angry Cockney gangsters!
0:15:10 > 0:15:12Hmmm...
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Let me think.
0:15:34 > 0:15:38I've overdone the lips, love, I've overdone the lips.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41Thing is, you might have to buy the coffees,
0:15:41 > 0:15:45because I've given all my money to a charity that buys scarves for voles.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48The Association For Providing Free Scarves For Every Vole In Purley?!
0:15:48 > 0:15:52That's my favourite charity! I love voles!
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Hiya, flappy legs!
0:15:56 > 0:16:01- Hiya, bloke in a dress who's with flappy legs.- This is Margaret!
0:16:01 > 0:16:03That's a funny name for a bloke.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Hello! We're going to steal the Crown Jewels!
0:16:05 > 0:16:09- Do you want to come?- You're what?! Are you involved in this?- No!
0:16:09 > 0:16:11I'll take that as a no, then.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14- Wahey!- What was that all about?
0:16:14 > 0:16:16I've never seen that pigeon before in my life!
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Roger, why are the Crown Jewels so valuable?
0:16:21 > 0:16:26Well, it's like your Sawblade card - scarcity, lad, scarcity.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29# There's only one of it, and everybody wants it
0:16:29 > 0:16:33# There's only one of it, so you've got to pay
0:16:33 > 0:16:36# The Boy has got it, and if everybody wants it
0:16:36 > 0:16:39# Then you're going to keep on paying until judgement day! #
0:16:59 > 0:17:03Cor, look at her! She's a right little raven, she is... Argh!
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Here, budge up.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21The Crown Jewels are in that building!
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Ooh, I can see them. You keep watch!
0:17:23 > 0:17:26CRASHING AND BANGING
0:17:26 > 0:17:27Right, I've got 'em!
0:17:27 > 0:17:31They were really quite reasonable. Put your foot down!
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Now put the other foot down.
0:17:35 > 0:17:39Now put them down alternately, with consistent and combined force.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42- Just pedal the car! - Well, why didn't you say?!
0:17:50 > 0:17:55Look at it! We're rich beyond our weirdest dreams!
0:17:55 > 0:17:58# There's only one of 'em and everybody wants 'em
0:17:58 > 0:18:01# There's only one of them, so they're going to pay
0:18:01 > 0:18:04# And we have got 'em, and if everybody wants 'em
0:18:04 > 0:18:07# Then they're going to pay to see 'em until judgment day! #
0:18:07 > 0:18:10ALARM RINGS
0:18:12 > 0:18:17- Roger, look out! - You're driving!- Oh, yeah. Argh!
0:18:33 > 0:18:37Hold it, stay still, get back. I can't... I can't quite reach them!
0:18:37 > 0:18:42Roger, they look a bit small to be all the Crown Jewels.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44They are a bit tiddlier than I thought.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46And they look plastic.
0:18:46 > 0:18:51Of course they look plastic, they do that to, um, deter thieves.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53See, you're a thief and it's deterring you!
0:18:53 > 0:18:57And there's a picture on the box of a cat wearing a crown.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01And the words "Cat Crown Jewels"
0:19:01 > 0:19:08are written on it. Roger, I think this might be a crown for a cat.
0:19:08 > 0:19:12Oh...feathers! I thought it was a bit odd that
0:19:12 > 0:19:14there was a great big pile of them.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17And that they let me have it for £7.99.
0:19:17 > 0:19:20# There's quite a lot of them and not a lot'll want 'em
0:19:20 > 0:19:23# There's quite a lot of them, so who's going to pay?
0:19:23 > 0:19:26# You need a cat if you are going want to buy 'em
0:19:26 > 0:19:30# And a cat that dresses in a quite extravagant way! #
0:19:30 > 0:19:34Well, I'm going home. I'll just wait for the bridge to go down again.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37# There's quite a lot of them and not a lot'll want 'em
0:19:37 > 0:19:41# There's quite a lot of them, so who's going to pay?
0:19:41 > 0:19:43# You need a cat if you are going to want to buy 'em
0:19:43 > 0:19:48# And a cat that dresses in a quite extravagant way! #
0:19:49 > 0:19:52It was an easy mistake to make!
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Sorry.
0:19:54 > 0:19:55You are awful, Howard!
0:19:55 > 0:19:58You've even taken all your money out of the charity,
0:19:58 > 0:20:00you...you vole hater!
0:20:00 > 0:20:06# Somebody to love... #
0:20:06 > 0:20:11- How did your date go?- She dumped me.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13So, much as normal, then.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16Yes, except the reason she dumped me was she thought I was using her as
0:20:16 > 0:20:20an alibi cos I was in on your plot to steal the Crown Jewels.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Cuh, women, eh?
0:20:22 > 0:20:25Not "Cuh, women!" I completely understand why she'd think that!
0:20:25 > 0:20:27What was going through your head?!
0:20:27 > 0:20:30- I needed Sawblade the Municipal! - I hope you understand now,
0:20:30 > 0:20:33there are some things can cost you more than money.
0:20:33 > 0:20:37- Sore-bum the Monkey-puzzle... - Sawblade the Municipal!
0:20:37 > 0:20:39..him...has cost me my girlfriend, and could
0:20:39 > 0:20:41have landed you and Roger in jail!
0:20:41 > 0:20:43You scarf-stealing rotter!
0:20:43 > 0:20:45Oh, no. I've been getting this all day.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47My neck's all cold because of you!
0:20:47 > 0:20:50- You horrible man.- You got your money back from the vole charity, then?
0:20:50 > 0:20:53That's the other reason she dumped me. Margaret's a volunteer
0:20:53 > 0:20:56for the charity and she had to spend yesterday
0:20:56 > 0:20:58taking scarves back off freezing voles.
0:21:01 > 0:21:05And I got talking to Boy Down The Swings' dad earlier.
0:21:05 > 0:21:06What, Bloke Down The Pub?
0:21:06 > 0:21:09He said Boy Down has already given Sawbum the Moony Poo...
0:21:09 > 0:21:12SAWBLADE THE MUNICIPAL!
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Yeah, given him to Angela Merriweather
0:21:16 > 0:21:19for a bag of sherbet lemons and a snog.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21Why would anyone do that?!
0:21:21 > 0:21:25It seems that some people value snogs and sherbet lemons higher than
0:21:25 > 0:21:28all the money in the world. I hope you've learned a lesson, young man.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Yes, I have.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42Hello, Angela?
0:21:42 > 0:21:49I'd like to offer you... £1.42 and...
0:21:49 > 0:21:50a talking computer?
0:21:53 > 0:21:56The Mona Lisa, you say?