Why Can't I Be You?

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0:00:02 > 0:00:05Previously - Big Howard's actual mum comes to visit

0:00:05 > 0:00:07and Mother welcomes her with open arms.

0:00:07 > 0:00:09Little Howard's porridge gets stolen,

0:00:09 > 0:00:11but Big Howard's sketch pad remains safe.

0:00:11 > 0:00:14I shouldn't be surprised if that turns out to be significant.

0:00:14 > 0:00:17And Little Howard gets captured and replaced

0:00:17 > 0:00:21by his evil twin Little Albert, who really is quite nasty.

0:00:21 > 0:00:24Come my pretty ones, come and devour them!

0:00:24 > 0:00:28How come you missed that?! It's been on iPlayer all week. Lazy!

0:00:29 > 0:00:33# I hate monkeys, I hate monkeys

0:00:33 > 0:00:36# All those horrid little, squeaky, little monkeys

0:00:36 > 0:00:40# With their tails and their bananas

0:00:40 > 0:00:43# I think that if we all were monkeys I would move to the Bahamas

0:00:43 > 0:00:45# Keep your monkeys, all your monkeys

0:00:45 > 0:00:49# For you know that it's the monkeys I despise

0:00:49 > 0:00:53# If my love said that she did not hate those monkeys

0:00:53 > 0:00:55# I'd say that wasn't very wise. #

0:00:55 > 0:00:57Thank you, thank you!

0:00:57 > 0:01:00I'll be here...forever! Ah-hah ah hahahahahaaaaa!

0:01:00 > 0:01:04Little Howard, could we do that again, but a little less evil?

0:01:04 > 0:01:08- Just trying something different. - Well, one of the monkeys is crying.

0:01:08 > 0:01:10Good! Stupid monkeys.

0:01:12 > 0:01:17Come, my...animals that I'm not entirely convinced yet are squirrels.

0:01:17 > 0:01:19The hour of the nibbling is upon us!

0:01:19 > 0:01:22- Big Howard, wake up!- Ya!

0:01:24 > 0:01:27Aaaaaooooch.

0:01:27 > 0:01:29Little Howard! How many times have I told you

0:01:29 > 0:01:33not to knock me or my mum out by firing walnuts at our heads?

0:01:33 > 0:01:37- Erm...- Actually, come to think of it I may not have told you that,

0:01:37 > 0:01:38but that doesn't make it right.

0:01:38 > 0:01:42So you still think I'm Little Howard?

0:01:42 > 0:01:47Of course! Knocking me out with a walnut is typical Little Howard.

0:01:47 > 0:01:50Then I may not have to destroy you.

0:01:50 > 0:01:53I should think not.

0:01:53 > 0:01:55Look what you've done to my mum!

0:01:55 > 0:01:57- What's going on! Where is he?- Who?

0:01:57 > 0:01:59There were two Little Howards!

0:01:59 > 0:02:01You saw two Little Howards?

0:02:01 > 0:02:05- OK, the destroying's back on.- There's only one explanation for this.

0:02:05 > 0:02:07- Yes! That one is an impos...- Mother!

0:02:10 > 0:02:14- What have you been up to? - What?! I didn't do nuffink!

0:02:14 > 0:02:17Have you been projecting holographic images of Little Howard

0:02:17 > 0:02:20- to make my mum think she's losing her marbles?- OMG squared!

0:02:20 > 0:02:23It's a good idea, but no.

0:02:23 > 0:02:26You wicked, vindictive abacus with no knickers!

0:02:26 > 0:02:28I have never been...

0:02:28 > 0:02:30- You deserve that!- You come here... - Shut up!

0:02:30 > 0:02:32You've pushed her too far.

0:02:32 > 0:02:36Seriously, this is the last straw.

0:02:40 > 0:02:45Escaped from my Beginner's Cage, did you? Now I will imprison you

0:02:45 > 0:02:50in my...Intermediate Cage!

0:02:50 > 0:02:53From which there is no escape,

0:02:53 > 0:02:55unless you are an expert at escape.

0:02:55 > 0:02:57What have you done to Big Howard?

0:02:57 > 0:03:01Nothing. Luckily for him, he's even stupider than I thought.

0:03:01 > 0:03:04I knew that would come in handy one day.

0:03:04 > 0:03:10But the female suspects, so I must become you completely.

0:03:10 > 0:03:12I must look like you, talk like you,

0:03:12 > 0:03:15smell like you, heaven help me, act exactly like you,

0:03:15 > 0:03:17but how?

0:03:17 > 0:03:19Ah, well that's the big question, isn't it?

0:03:19 > 0:03:22But I'm not going to give you any advi...

0:03:22 > 0:03:24Big Question! Of course!

0:03:25 > 0:03:27Oh, bum.

0:03:27 > 0:03:31- I'm telling you, there were two of them!- Course there were, Mum.

0:03:31 > 0:03:34You have a nice lie down now.

0:03:36 > 0:03:40Mother, why did you try to make Mum think there were two Little Howards?

0:03:40 > 0:03:44I didn't! I don't know what you're talking about! This is so unfair!

0:03:44 > 0:03:46KLAXON

0:03:46 > 0:03:48Why don't you just admit you're jealous?

0:03:48 > 0:03:51- I, Little Howard...- Me?! Jealous?! - Excuse me! How can I

0:03:51 > 0:03:53- become someone else? - Of Mrs Perfect Pants,

0:03:53 > 0:03:57with her three-dimensional face, and central nervous system?!

0:03:57 > 0:04:00- For goodness' sakes!- She thinks she's all that, but she's not!

0:04:00 > 0:04:04KLAXON Shut up!

0:04:04 > 0:04:05Thank you.

0:04:05 > 0:04:09I have set off my klaxon and asked a Big Question,

0:04:09 > 0:04:13and I demand you have a hilarious accident and answer it.

0:04:13 > 0:04:17You did, didn't you? You set off that klaxon,

0:04:17 > 0:04:20and nothing happened to me, just like last time.

0:04:20 > 0:04:22Oh dear, should I try again?

0:04:22 > 0:04:26No, no. I must be becoming immune to it after all this time.

0:04:26 > 0:04:27This is fantastic!

0:04:27 > 0:04:32I am going to save so much money on clothes and structural repairs.

0:04:32 > 0:04:34What was your Big Question again?

0:04:34 > 0:04:37- How can I become someone else? - That's a lovely Big Question.

0:04:37 > 0:04:40- Much better than the questions you normally ask.- Oh!

0:04:40 > 0:04:42You like it, do you?

0:04:42 > 0:04:45Yeah. I'm so happy!

0:04:45 > 0:04:48- Why do you want to become someone else?- I want to imitate someone

0:04:48 > 0:04:54exactly, so that even their closest friend couldn't tell the difference.

0:04:54 > 0:04:56Oooh, that DOES sound fun.

0:04:56 > 0:04:59Yes, and I know just the man to help you.

0:05:00 > 0:05:04Thank you to James Hurn. One to watch there, ladies and gentlemen.

0:05:08 > 0:05:11Ooooh, people! He-he he-he.

0:05:11 > 0:05:15Hi, I'm James Hurn, I'm an impressionist. I was expecting

0:05:15 > 0:05:19you to misunderstand the word "impressionist", Little Howard.

0:05:19 > 0:05:21Why would I do that? I'm not an idiot.

0:05:23 > 0:05:24He's not an idiot.

0:05:24 > 0:05:27So, you're a 19th-century French painter, then?

0:05:27 > 0:05:31Er, no, I'm not a 19th-century French painter.

0:05:31 > 0:05:32My type of impressionist

0:05:32 > 0:05:37is someone who copies other people's voices and their mannerisms.

0:05:37 > 0:05:41I want to know how I can become someone else.

0:05:41 > 0:05:45Er, well it's fairly easy, what I do is I listen to CDs and watch DVDs,

0:05:45 > 0:05:47to be able to copy somebody.

0:05:47 > 0:05:51One of my favourites is Professor Snape from Harry Potter.

0:05:51 > 0:05:54- IMITATING SNAPE: - Might talk a little bit like this,

0:05:54 > 0:05:55right at the back of the throat.

0:05:55 > 0:05:58One of my other favourites is Woody from Toy Story.

0:05:58 > 0:06:01- IMITATING WOODY:- First, you've got to get the American accent,

0:06:01 > 0:06:04it's kinda like a bit like that and his voice is sort of

0:06:04 > 0:06:08in the centre of his mouth and he puts his chin down again, you know.

0:06:08 > 0:06:11And you gotta watch out for the things that maybe he does,

0:06:11 > 0:06:14like, he-he, you know, he'll throw in a laugh

0:06:14 > 0:06:16halfway through a sentence there

0:06:16 > 0:06:19and he could be talking about anything, but remember to use those

0:06:19 > 0:06:21favourite phrases if you want to get it right.

0:06:21 > 0:06:25"What are you talking about, Buzz? We're just a bunch of toys."

0:06:25 > 0:06:29How would you, say, do an impression of...er...

0:06:29 > 0:06:31Little Howard?

0:06:31 > 0:06:34- You, you mean? - Yes, but not how I'm talking now.

0:06:34 > 0:06:37- How I usually talk. - He swallowed a pine cone.

0:06:37 > 0:06:41I did that once when I was trying to do my Bill Oddie impression.

0:06:41 > 0:06:43It's very painful. Anyway...

0:06:43 > 0:06:45- IMITATING LITTLE HOWARD: - If I was going to do

0:06:45 > 0:06:49a Little Howard impression, I would maybe realise that maybe he talks

0:06:49 > 0:06:52out of the side of his mouth sometimes and he's a bit croaky.

0:06:52 > 0:06:57That's amazing! It's like he's here in the room with us.

0:06:58 > 0:07:03I mean, it's like... I'M here...in the room with us.

0:07:03 > 0:07:05Which I am, of course.

0:07:05 > 0:07:06Can you teach anyone to do that?

0:07:06 > 0:07:08Well, yeah, of course.

0:07:08 > 0:07:10Why don't you two have a go?

0:07:10 > 0:07:13- No, I won't, I don't really do voices.- Come on, it'll be fun.

0:07:13 > 0:07:17Erm, er, er, OK...

0:07:17 > 0:07:18No. Erm...

0:07:18 > 0:07:22- IMITATING LITTLE HOWARD:- I have come up with another Big Question!

0:07:22 > 0:07:26Why doesn't Big Howard get paid more?

0:07:26 > 0:07:27Yeah, thanks, mate.

0:07:27 > 0:07:31Hmm. I'm supposed to be the professional.

0:07:31 > 0:07:35Hmm, er, beginner's luck. Just...got lucky. Sorry.

0:07:35 > 0:07:36Yeah.

0:07:39 > 0:07:44Help, help! How am I going to get out?

0:07:50 > 0:07:53How's your big, fat, stupid head?

0:07:53 > 0:07:56Are you still hallucinating like a mad woman?

0:07:56 > 0:08:02I am the president of the Association of Rehousing Delinquent Baby Seals,

0:08:02 > 0:08:03I'll have you know!

0:08:03 > 0:08:07Do you think I'd be able to hold that position if I hallucinated?

0:08:07 > 0:08:10You probably thought you were rehousing baby seals, but you

0:08:10 > 0:08:14were just lugging damp sand bags up and down the beach. Ha! Got you!

0:08:14 > 0:08:16Do you do any charity work?

0:08:16 > 0:08:22Erm... Yes! I run a help... line for...

0:08:22 > 0:08:26cartoon boys! Called, er, the Cartoon Boy Helpline.

0:08:26 > 0:08:29You haven't had many calls today, have you?

0:08:29 > 0:08:35Ah, no, well... Office hours are only just starting.

0:08:35 > 0:08:37So...any minute now.

0:08:38 > 0:08:41Little Albert's homemade phone!

0:08:41 > 0:08:43I wonder if it works?

0:08:43 > 0:08:45It can't do.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47Can it?

0:08:51 > 0:08:53Don't think anybody saw that.

0:08:53 > 0:08:57- DIAL TONE - Wow! It works!

0:08:58 > 0:09:03- No calls yet, then? - Well, obviously it's seasonal.

0:09:03 > 0:09:04PHONE RINGS

0:09:04 > 0:09:07Ha! In your face, woman-features!

0:09:09 > 0:09:12Hello, love, this is, erm...

0:09:12 > 0:09:15the Cartoon Boy Helpline.

0:09:15 > 0:09:16How can I help?

0:09:16 > 0:09:19- Oh, I think I've got the wrong number.- No, you haven't,

0:09:19 > 0:09:22Little...erm, stranger,

0:09:22 > 0:09:24poor, desperate little stranger who needs my help.

0:09:24 > 0:09:29Well, now you mention it, I am a bit worried about my friend.

0:09:29 > 0:09:32Your "friend", eh? Sure it's not you?

0:09:32 > 0:09:34No, but he wants to be me.

0:09:34 > 0:09:36'Oh, that's called...'

0:09:36 > 0:09:41Oh, one second. Excuse me, this is a confidential helpline.

0:09:41 > 0:09:43I'm sorry about that.

0:09:43 > 0:09:48What you're dealing with there is jealousy. Everyone gets it.

0:09:48 > 0:09:51Nothing to worry about. Thanks for your call, chin up. Bye!

0:09:51 > 0:09:54No, wait a minute. I don't understand WHY he's jealous of me.

0:09:54 > 0:09:56He's much cleverer than I am.

0:09:56 > 0:09:59He's got a nose and he can make stuff.

0:09:59 > 0:10:03He made the phone I'm talking on out of acorns...

0:10:03 > 0:10:05and I think bits of badger dung.

0:10:05 > 0:10:07- Charming!- And he lives up a tree.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09I'd love to live up a tree.

0:10:09 > 0:10:12That's the trouble with jealousy.

0:10:12 > 0:10:14It stops you seeing the good things in your own life.

0:10:14 > 0:10:18So it can not only hurt the person you feel jealous of,

0:10:18 > 0:10:20but it can hurt yourself as well.

0:10:20 > 0:10:23It makes you sad and you can end up being nasty

0:10:23 > 0:10:26- and saying horrible things to other people.- I see.

0:10:26 > 0:10:29You certainly know a lot about it.

0:10:29 > 0:10:31Have you ever been jealous of anyone?

0:10:31 > 0:10:33No! Never!

0:10:38 > 0:10:40SQUEAK!

0:10:49 > 0:10:50METALLIC CLANG

0:11:03 > 0:11:06SHRIEKS

0:11:06 > 0:11:10But the person who's jealous of me has locked me in his tree house

0:11:10 > 0:11:12and is trying to take over my life.

0:11:12 > 0:11:13My goodness!

0:11:13 > 0:11:15- Mother!- I'm on the phone!

0:11:15 > 0:11:16This is important.

0:11:16 > 0:11:19- DIAL TONE - Have you seen my top secre...

0:11:19 > 0:11:21my sketch pad?

0:11:21 > 0:11:24- It's in the washing machine. - Oh, thank goo... What?!

0:11:24 > 0:11:26Well, it was filthy. Covered in scribbles.

0:11:26 > 0:11:28Now, where was I?

0:11:30 > 0:11:32Oh, you haven't turned it on, thank goodness.

0:11:32 > 0:11:35I was looking up the washing instructions

0:11:35 > 0:11:37for a top-secret sketch pad online.

0:11:37 > 0:11:39What temperature would YOU wash it at?

0:11:39 > 0:11:41I wouldn't wash it at all! It's a sketch pad!

0:11:41 > 0:11:43This sketch pad happens to be quite important.

0:11:43 > 0:11:48- Where did you find it? - It was in your safe.

0:11:48 > 0:11:50How did you get into my locked safe?

0:11:50 > 0:11:53- I can do a lot of things you don't know about, young man!- Like what?

0:11:53 > 0:11:56Big Howard's sketch pad.

0:11:56 > 0:12:00Memories are starting to come back to me.

0:12:01 > 0:12:04A stormy night,

0:12:04 > 0:12:08the deafening sound of crashing thunder and scribbling pencil.

0:12:08 > 0:12:13That sketch pad has something to do with my creation!

0:12:14 > 0:12:18That's why he keeps it locked in the safe. I must see that sketch pad!

0:12:21 > 0:12:24- But first... - I have climbed Mount Etna!

0:12:24 > 0:12:27Have you, though?

0:12:27 > 0:12:30Yes, I'd like a large meat-feast pizza, please,

0:12:30 > 0:12:33definitely hold the acorns, pinecones and conkers.

0:12:33 > 0:12:36I was just having a look at your phone.

0:12:36 > 0:12:38"I was just having a look at your phone."

0:12:38 > 0:12:42- I didn't call anyone on it, honest. - "I didn't call anyone on it, honest."

0:12:42 > 0:12:46- Why are you copying me? - "Why are you copying me?"

0:12:46 > 0:12:47- Stop it!- "Stop it!"

0:12:47 > 0:12:49- I smell of monkey poo. - "I smell of monkey poo."

0:12:49 > 0:12:52Hey! You're doing an impression of me!

0:12:52 > 0:12:54That's almost good enough to fool me!

0:12:54 > 0:12:58Exactly! My assimilation is complete.

0:12:58 > 0:13:01Soon I will have no need for you at all.

0:13:01 > 0:13:05Now! What do you know of Big Howard's sketch pad?

0:13:05 > 0:13:08Nothing, I'm not allowed to look at it.

0:13:08 > 0:13:10And you've never wondered why that might be?

0:13:10 > 0:13:14- He's probably drawing pictures of girls in it or something.- Since I've

0:13:14 > 0:13:20been living your life I've started to see who is responsible for my misery.

0:13:20 > 0:13:24Who brought me and you into this world.

0:13:24 > 0:13:26Haven't you ever wondered where you came from?

0:13:26 > 0:13:30No. I was found under a mulberry bush. Big Howard told me.

0:13:30 > 0:13:33You and I came from the same place.

0:13:33 > 0:13:35The same mulberry bush?

0:13:35 > 0:13:37It wasn't a mulberry bush.

0:13:37 > 0:13:39A bilberry bush?

0:13:39 > 0:13:41You were created, Little Howard!

0:13:41 > 0:13:43GASPS

0:13:43 > 0:13:47And so was I. I don't know how, but it has something to do with

0:13:47 > 0:13:52your Big Howard and his top-secret sketch pad.

0:13:52 > 0:13:54If I can just get hold of that sketch pad,

0:13:54 > 0:13:57then perhaps the power of creation will be mine.

0:13:57 > 0:14:01Imagine, I could create an army of actual wolves! With fangs!

0:14:01 > 0:14:03Who don't eat all your walnuts!

0:14:03 > 0:14:05I shall strike tonight!

0:14:07 > 0:14:10Stop, Little Albert! You need help!

0:14:11 > 0:14:14However is Little Howard going to escape? Who is going to rescue him?

0:14:14 > 0:14:16Find out after this ad.

0:14:20 > 0:14:23GRUFF, SINISTER VOICE: Buy the new fully portable sound-effect machine

0:14:23 > 0:14:26to bring the suspense back into your life.

0:14:26 > 0:14:29SINISTER ORGAN CHORDS

0:14:29 > 0:14:32Perfect for life's more dramatic moments.

0:14:32 > 0:14:34SINISTER ORGAN CHORDS REPEATING

0:14:34 > 0:14:38Erm...could you, yeah, could you just stop it, could you?

0:14:38 > 0:14:39Stop, please. Thank you.

0:14:45 > 0:14:47CLATTERING AND SMASHING

0:14:47 > 0:14:50Mother! Mum! What are you doing here?

0:14:50 > 0:14:52Together?

0:14:52 > 0:14:54When I remembered what you said,

0:14:54 > 0:14:58I traced the call and discovered you were in these woods.

0:14:58 > 0:15:01Then I realised I didn't have a lot of experience

0:15:01 > 0:15:03in hostage rescue situations.

0:15:03 > 0:15:07- And Big Howard's mum does?- Oh, yes.

0:15:07 > 0:15:09I do a lot knitting for the SAS.

0:15:09 > 0:15:14All the balaclavas and the bazooka-cosies, they're all mine.

0:15:14 > 0:15:18And as a thankyou, they let me attend their hostage rescue course.

0:15:18 > 0:15:21- That was implausibly lucky, wasn't it?- I'll say!

0:15:23 > 0:15:24There we go!

0:15:24 > 0:15:26ALARM

0:15:26 > 0:15:31Oh, no! Booby trap! But it's caught me as well as this booby!

0:15:31 > 0:15:33- Shut it, you!- Oh, no!

0:15:33 > 0:15:36That's Little Albert's Expert Cage!

0:15:36 > 0:15:38You'll never get out!

0:15:38 > 0:15:41- Where is the little tyke? - He's gone to our house.

0:15:41 > 0:15:43Does Big Howard know he's not me?

0:15:43 > 0:15:44No! Go and help him.

0:15:44 > 0:15:47Don't you worry about us.

0:15:48 > 0:15:50Clumsy.

0:16:09 > 0:16:10What are you doing?

0:16:10 > 0:16:12What are YOU doing, more like?

0:16:12 > 0:16:16- Or rather, what have you been drawing?- Oh...those...

0:16:16 > 0:16:18those are just doodles...

0:16:18 > 0:16:19KLAXON

0:16:19 > 0:16:22I, Little Howard, have come up with another Big Question.

0:16:22 > 0:16:25Where did I come from, Big Howard?

0:16:25 > 0:16:27I found you under a mulberry bush, like I've always said.

0:16:27 > 0:16:31Did you only find one cartoon boy under the mulberry bush?

0:16:31 > 0:16:33Why do you ask that?

0:16:33 > 0:16:38Because there are two of us.

0:16:38 > 0:16:41Aaaaaaaaaaargh!

0:16:46 > 0:16:48He is an impostor! I am Little Howard!

0:16:48 > 0:16:51IMITATING HIM PERFECTLY: He trapped me in a tree house.

0:16:51 > 0:16:54- He's Little Albert! - YOU'RE Little Albert!

0:16:54 > 0:16:56Little Albert?

0:16:56 > 0:17:00- No! No, it can't be! - You know about him?

0:17:00 > 0:17:02I'm not him! You are!

0:17:02 > 0:17:07Before I drew you, I drew Little Albert.

0:17:07 > 0:17:10He came to life, jumped off the page and ran off into the woods.

0:17:10 > 0:17:12You created him?

0:17:12 > 0:17:15- And me?- I knew it!

0:17:15 > 0:17:19- I tried to chase him, but he was too quick, he was like a...- Wolf.

0:17:19 > 0:17:23No, it was smaller and more agile than a wolf with a twitchier nose.

0:17:23 > 0:17:26- A squirrel?- Shut up!

0:17:26 > 0:17:29I guess I've been looking for him ever since,

0:17:29 > 0:17:35but I gave up any hope of finding you or him, long ago.

0:17:35 > 0:17:37When I finally gave up looking for Little Albert,

0:17:37 > 0:17:41I went back to the drawing board to try and make it happen again.

0:17:41 > 0:17:44I tried for weeks, but they just stayed pictures on the page,

0:17:44 > 0:17:49but then, one stormy night, it happened, and it was you...

0:17:49 > 0:17:50or you...

0:17:50 > 0:17:52but you didn't run away.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55You just started asking lots of annoying questions.

0:17:57 > 0:17:59Oh, Little Albert.

0:17:59 > 0:18:03- I don't know why you're looking at me. I'm Little Howard.- Aah!

0:18:03 > 0:18:05Takes one to know one!

0:18:05 > 0:18:07- You must be Little Albert!- Am not!

0:18:07 > 0:18:08Are too!

0:18:08 > 0:18:11THEY SHOUT

0:18:16 > 0:18:20Stop fighting, Little Howard...or Little Albert, whichever you are.

0:18:20 > 0:18:24Ha! You have no way of telling which is which, though!

0:18:24 > 0:18:28Wait a minute - maybe I do.

0:18:28 > 0:18:31How can you tell which is the real Little Howard?

0:18:31 > 0:18:33I didn't quite hear that.

0:18:33 > 0:18:36He said how can you tell which is the real Little Howard?

0:18:36 > 0:18:40No. That question's not really having enough impact.

0:18:40 > 0:18:43How can you tell which is the real Little Howard?

0:18:43 > 0:18:48- No, just not getting my attention. - Oh, for goodness' sake!

0:18:48 > 0:18:53I, Little Howard, have come up with another Big Question!

0:18:53 > 0:18:56How can you tell which is the real Little Howard?

0:18:56 > 0:19:01Oops. This isn't going to help my chances.

0:19:01 > 0:19:03You are the real...

0:19:03 > 0:19:07You are the real Little Howard and that one is the impostor.

0:19:07 > 0:19:10Blimey! I wish you could answer all my Big Questions that quickly.

0:19:10 > 0:19:12How did you know?

0:19:12 > 0:19:15Your klaxon went off twice earlier and nothing bad happened to me.

0:19:15 > 0:19:17At first I thought it was brilliant.

0:19:17 > 0:19:21But I worked out it's because it wasn't really you, Little Howard.

0:19:21 > 0:19:23Wow! That's really clever, Big Howard.

0:19:23 > 0:19:29Wait a minute. Are you sure YOU'RE the real Big Howard?

0:19:29 > 0:19:31We better get Little Albert out.

0:19:32 > 0:19:36- Little Albert!- I'm sorry I couldn't catch you that day, Little Albert,

0:19:36 > 0:19:39but we can make up for it now. You can come and live with us.

0:19:39 > 0:19:42Never! There can be only one!

0:19:42 > 0:19:44- That's rubbish!- Don't go!

0:19:44 > 0:19:46Everyone gets jealous some times.

0:19:46 > 0:19:48You just have to learn to get over it

0:19:48 > 0:19:51and find things about yourself that you like.

0:19:51 > 0:19:55Like I said, Purley isn't big enough for the both of us!

0:19:55 > 0:19:58You could always live in Croydon.

0:19:58 > 0:20:02EERIE ORGAN MUSIC

0:20:05 > 0:20:08# I'll get you next time, my friend!

0:20:08 > 0:20:11# Though I've been vexed this is not the end

0:20:11 > 0:20:14# You've won the battle but not the war

0:20:14 > 0:20:18# I'll lick my wounds and come back for more

0:20:18 > 0:20:21# Oh, why can't we just be friends?

0:20:21 > 0:20:24# This doesn't have to be how it ends

0:20:24 > 0:20:27# You were so jealous and I of you

0:20:27 > 0:20:30# But think together what we could do

0:20:30 > 0:20:34# I'll leap towards you from tree to tree

0:20:34 > 0:20:37# I'll take your bird seed then off I'll flee

0:20:37 > 0:20:41# I'll chew your wiring and bury your nuts

0:20:41 > 0:20:44# I'll leap to safety as your trap shuts

0:20:44 > 0:20:47# I'll scratch you car roof with all my might

0:20:47 > 0:20:52# There's no defence from the squirrel of the night!

0:20:57 > 0:21:00# Oh, why can't we patch things up

0:21:00 > 0:21:04# And live a lifetime of catching up?

0:21:04 > 0:21:07# You were so jealous and I of you

0:21:07 > 0:21:10# But won't you let us just start anew?

0:21:10 > 0:21:14# I'll get you next time, my boy

0:21:14 > 0:21:17# Though I'm perplexed I will soon destroy

0:21:17 > 0:21:20# Though I am down, I am far from out

0:21:20 > 0:21:23# I'll give you something to cry about

0:21:23 > 0:21:26# I'm you but I'm feral I'll strike like a squirrel

0:21:26 > 0:21:29# The squirrel of the night!

0:21:29 > 0:21:33# And you will loose that fight!

0:21:33 > 0:21:38# The squirrel of the night! #

0:21:38 > 0:21:41CACKLES

0:21:43 > 0:21:44Definitely squirrels.

0:21:44 > 0:21:48- MOTHER:- Budge over! You're taking up too much of the cage.

0:21:48 > 0:21:51BIG HOWARD'S MUM: What are you implying?

0:21:51 > 0:21:54I'm not implying anything, I'm saying it out loud!

0:21:54 > 0:21:55You are a heifer!