0:00:06 > 0:00:10This is brilliant, Big Howard! I've always wanted a vegetable patch.
0:00:10 > 0:00:15Yeah. Woah! You can stop digging though, the hole's big enough now!
0:00:15 > 0:00:18No, it needs to be bigger than this
0:00:18 > 0:00:20if we're burying a whole pumpkin!
0:00:20 > 0:00:23You don't need to bury a whole pumpkin, you just need to bury
0:00:23 > 0:00:26- a pumpkin seed, and they're tiny. - Why would we want to bury
0:00:26 > 0:00:27a pumpkin seed?
0:00:27 > 0:00:30To grow more pumpkins.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32Why would you want to do that?
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Pumpkins are horrible!
0:00:34 > 0:00:37I think we should go back to the original plan
0:00:37 > 0:00:39and just bury the whole pumpkin.
0:00:39 > 0:00:41Then we can bury the sprouts. I don't like sprouts.
0:00:41 > 0:00:45- Then the spinach, spinach is horrible.- Right. Stop there.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48A vegetable patch isn't for disposing of vegetables you don't like.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50It's for growing more vegetables.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52What?! And you're making me help?
0:00:52 > 0:00:56- That is just cruel.- Well, what would you like us to grow then?
0:00:56 > 0:01:01- Er, chips.- Right, well we'll plant some chips then.- Brilliant!
0:01:01 > 0:01:04You dig up the potatoes to make room for the chips,
0:01:04 > 0:01:06and I'll carry on digging a grave for the pumpkin.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08I think putting horse poo
0:01:08 > 0:01:11on top of them is a bit much, but each to their own.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14No, look, the horse poo is manure. It helps the veggies grow.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17Calm down! You'll end up in Australia at this rate.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Will I?
0:01:20 > 0:01:23- Fantastic.- No, I was joking.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Australia's on the other side of the earth to us, you see...
0:01:26 > 0:01:28Little Howard? Little Howard?
0:01:28 > 0:01:31Cor. No patience, that one.
0:01:31 > 0:01:36Just got to mix a little bit of horse manure... Eurgh!
0:01:36 > 0:01:37..in with the soil.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39HORN BLARES
0:01:39 > 0:01:43I, Little Howard have come up with another of my big questions!
0:01:43 > 0:01:45Can I Dig To Australia?!
0:01:45 > 0:01:48You probably shouldn't put your face in that,
0:01:48 > 0:01:51Big Howard, it's not hygienic.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54Thanks for the tip.
0:01:57 > 0:01:58# I like koalas
0:01:58 > 0:02:00# I like koalas
0:02:00 > 0:02:03# All those cuddly little dozy old koalas
0:02:03 > 0:02:06# With their pouches And their Eucalyptus
0:02:06 > 0:02:09# I think that one day the koalas they will finally eclipse us
0:02:09 > 0:02:12# Give me koalas, lots of koalas
0:02:12 > 0:02:15# For koalas are the very best by far
0:02:15 > 0:02:19# If my love said that she did not love koalas
0:02:19 > 0:02:22# I'd call her a Great Galah. #
0:02:22 > 0:02:23Thanks, cobber.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26What happened to the dance, guys?
0:02:26 > 0:02:29That's it. I'm going straight back to liking monkeys.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Why... Why do you want... Why do you...
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Will you stop that?!
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Why do you want to dig to Australia?
0:02:39 > 0:02:43Because everything in Australia is upside down, and they have hats
0:02:43 > 0:02:45with corks on, which would be very useful
0:02:45 > 0:02:48because I quite often drop my hat in the river.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50And they have Christmas in the summer.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53And I've never had a whole barbecued turkey before.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Yeah, but why don't you just fly to Australia?
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Because that would take ages!
0:02:57 > 0:03:01- I'm pretty sure it's quicker than digging there.- No, it's not.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04Listen, I don't know how long it takes to fly to Australia,
0:03:04 > 0:03:06and I don't know how far it is to dig,
0:03:06 > 0:03:08but I'm pretty sure it's quicker to fly.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10Bet you it isn't.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14What?
0:03:14 > 0:03:20I bet you can't fly to Australia before I can dig there.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23Not interested.
0:03:23 > 0:03:28- W-what do you bet?- If you get there first then I'll waltz with Matilda
0:03:28 > 0:03:32by the billabong in the bush, then I'll tie a kangaroo down, sport.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35I don't know what that means, but you're on.
0:03:35 > 0:03:36Race you to Australia!
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Hooray!
0:03:39 > 0:03:43OK, it turns out that plane tickets to Australia
0:03:43 > 0:03:50cost several hundred pounds, and I've got...£4.41 and a tissue.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53Well, I win the bet then.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57No, no, you can't win.
0:03:57 > 0:04:02- I must win!- OK then, I bet you can't save up for a plane ticket
0:04:02 > 0:04:07and fly to Australia before I can dig through the earth.
0:04:07 > 0:04:08You're on again!
0:04:08 > 0:04:11# Tie me kangaroo down, sport
0:04:11 > 0:04:13# Tie me kangaroo down
0:04:13 > 0:04:16# Tie me kangaroo down, sport
0:04:16 > 0:04:18# Tie me kangaroo down
0:04:18 > 0:04:22# Keep me cockatoo cool, Curl
0:04:22 > 0:04:23# Keep me cockatoo cool
0:04:23 > 0:04:26# Don't go acting the fool, Curl
0:04:26 > 0:04:28# Just keep my cockatoo cool
0:04:28 > 0:04:29# Altogether now
0:04:29 > 0:04:31# Tie me kangaroo down, sport
0:04:31 > 0:04:33# Tie me kangaroo down
0:04:33 > 0:04:36# Tie me kangaroo down, sport
0:04:36 > 0:04:38# Tie me kangaroo down. #
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Roll up! Roll up!
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Come to Big Howard's car boot sale!
0:04:42 > 0:04:45Come and get your welly boots, come and get your cars,
0:04:45 > 0:04:48come and get your cars wearing welly boots.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50What are you doing?
0:04:50 > 0:04:54I'm having a car boot sale to get rid of some junk and raise me loads
0:04:54 > 0:04:57and loads of money for my ticket to Australia.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59This is the back garden.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01And your point is?
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Who are you going to sell it to?
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Um...
0:05:08 > 0:05:11Would you like to buy some boots or some cars?
0:05:11 > 0:05:12How much?
0:05:12 > 0:05:15£800?
0:05:15 > 0:05:19Hey! Most of them are mine!
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Ah.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33How's the digging going, Little Howard?
0:05:33 > 0:05:36- Arrrgh!- It's going brilliantly.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39I can almost smell the didgeridoo-doos.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42How's the fundraising going?
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Um...very well.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46I've sold three cars and one boot.
0:05:46 > 0:05:51That boy at number 48 is a mean negotiator though.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53- How much have you made?- Um...
0:05:53 > 0:05:59£3.41 and a different tissue.
0:05:59 > 0:06:00You had £4.41.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02So you've lost a pound?
0:06:02 > 0:06:06Yeah. I'm still not sure how we managed that.
0:06:06 > 0:06:07Are you getting bored and tired yet?
0:06:07 > 0:06:10Certainly not, it's very exiting!
0:06:10 > 0:06:14The tunnel keeps on collapsing on me. I nearly suffocated!
0:06:14 > 0:06:15What?! Get out of there now!
0:06:15 > 0:06:19What are you doing! I could almost taste a cookaborough.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21And I'm sure I could hear a galah.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23- What are they? - I don't know. Let me back in!
0:06:23 > 0:06:27You're just trying to stop me winning the bet!
0:06:27 > 0:06:30I'm not. It just occurred to me that a six-year-old boy
0:06:30 > 0:06:33digging through the centre of the earth might be dangerous.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35- I'll just shore it up with some planks.- No, you won't!
0:06:35 > 0:06:38- It's not possible, and I'll prove it! - How?
0:06:38 > 0:06:39MOTHER!
0:06:39 > 0:06:42Out of my way, wombat features!
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Hello, Mother.
0:06:47 > 0:06:48Hello, my dearios.
0:06:48 > 0:06:52Can you tell me what date it be today?
0:06:52 > 0:06:55I've no idea. Can you please just tell Little Howard
0:06:55 > 0:06:58that he can't dig through the earth to Australia?
0:06:58 > 0:07:00- Oh, of course he can't. - See! Told ya.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03Because Australia hasn't been discovered yet.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07- And besides, the Earth is flat. - See? The Earth is...
0:07:07 > 0:07:10Wait a minute, no-one's believed that since the Middle Ages.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12Oh, is it not the Middle Ages?
0:07:12 > 0:07:17- No.- Well, my digital clock says it's the year of our Lord 1405.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Oh, hang on, no.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22It's five past two, isn't it?
0:07:22 > 0:07:26Never could get the hang of the 24 hour clock. Oh, yes, beg pardon!
0:07:26 > 0:07:30Australia has been discovered and the Earth is definitely spherical.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Phew! I was about to burn myself as a witch.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Don't let us stop you, but before you do,
0:07:35 > 0:07:38can you tell Little Howard why he can't dig to Australia.
0:07:38 > 0:07:42You shouldn't dig to Australia because of subterranean monsters.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46There! Subterranean... OK, bearing in mind what I just said
0:07:46 > 0:07:49- about it not being the Middle Ages. - No, I'm serious.
0:07:49 > 0:07:53There are some very scary individuals living under the ground.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56Are there underground caverns full of dinosaurs like in Ice Age 3?
0:07:56 > 0:08:03Well, not dinosaurs, but say hello to the naked mole rat.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05So, that's what happens when characters
0:08:05 > 0:08:08from The Wind In The Willows get married.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10No, these are from East Africa.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12They're bald and practically blind.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15They have very bad teeth, feel no pain
0:08:15 > 0:08:17- and eat their own poo.- Oh!
0:08:17 > 0:08:20They live in huge underground tunnels
0:08:20 > 0:08:22that can stretch up to three miles.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Yeah, but they're nothing to be scared of.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28I could sweet talk them into letting me pass through their tunnel.
0:08:28 > 0:08:32I'd offer them wigs and toothpaste, and maybe a box of chocolates.
0:08:32 > 0:08:36But if you're going to Australia you still might come up against this,
0:08:36 > 0:08:38the giant Gippsland earthworm.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40Eurgh!
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Imagine a worm three metres long.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45It lives in damp tunnels,
0:08:45 > 0:08:48and if you're walking on the ground above them, you can actually
0:08:48 > 0:08:51hear them gurgling as they move through the ground.
0:08:51 > 0:08:55Well, then I'll just take a sick bucket and maybe bring one back,
0:08:55 > 0:08:59and exhibit it to the public down the park.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01Worm Kong!
0:09:01 > 0:09:03No, you won't, because it's not safe!
0:09:03 > 0:09:05- Tell him it's not safe! - It's not safe.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09- Oh. Thank you.- Not without a bucket wheel excavator.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11What's a bucket of wee extra waiter?
0:09:11 > 0:09:14A bucket wheel excavator
0:09:14 > 0:09:18- bores through the earth using buckets on wheels.- Brilliant!
0:09:18 > 0:09:21I'm going to see a boring machine.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Oh, I've put the emphasis on the wrong word.
0:09:23 > 0:09:28I'm going to see a BORING machine. No, um...
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Let's call it a digger, shall we?
0:09:30 > 0:09:34- I'll make some calls.- Hurray!
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Boring!
0:09:36 > 0:09:39Next stop, the deluxe 3600 bucket-wheeled excavator!
0:09:44 > 0:09:46Thanks, driver. Wait here a sec.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Wow!
0:09:52 > 0:09:56Excuse me, mate, can I borrow this please?
0:09:56 > 0:09:57"Do you need help digging?
0:09:57 > 0:10:02"Then you need a deluxe bagger 3600.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05"A continuous excavation machine."
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Argh! What you laughing at?
0:10:07 > 0:10:12It digs 100,000 tons a day, which is the equivalent of 21,000 elephants!
0:10:13 > 0:10:17It is the biggest land vehicle in human history. Brilliant!
0:10:17 > 0:10:20I'll be down under by lunchtime!
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Right, let's see how much it is.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25£60 million?!
0:10:25 > 0:10:28The Bucket Wheel Excavator is the best thing
0:10:28 > 0:10:30for digging massive holes,
0:10:30 > 0:10:33and is much safer than using dynamite?
0:10:33 > 0:10:37EXPLOSION
0:10:37 > 0:10:38Hello!
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Why are you dressed like that?
0:10:41 > 0:10:46I started a new car-washing business to help raise money for my flights.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48How many cars have you washed?
0:10:48 > 0:10:49Well, none.
0:10:49 > 0:10:54But I have washed my squeegee and my chamois and I did rinse a tricycle.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57Well, my plan is proceeding very well, thank you very much.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00I just need to get hold of some dynamite.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02OK, well there's some in the shed. What?!
0:11:02 > 0:11:05Dynamite? You can't have dynamite!
0:11:05 > 0:11:07Trying to sabotage my digging attempt, eh?
0:11:07 > 0:11:11No, just trying to stop you blowing yourself up!
0:11:11 > 0:11:14That is just a typical example of the nanny goat state.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Health and Safety gone mad.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20Not giving a six year old high explosives, I can't afford
0:11:20 > 0:11:22a buckled wheeled extractor,
0:11:22 > 0:11:25so if I can't have dynamite, I'll just have to
0:11:25 > 0:11:29carry on digging with a shovel! If I pull a muscle it'll be your fault.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32Fine, you do that, I've got plenty of ideas
0:11:32 > 0:11:35of how I can raise enough money to buy a plane ticket!
0:11:38 > 0:11:40Of course!
0:11:47 > 0:11:49What are you doing?
0:11:49 > 0:11:53I'm going to earn enough money to buy my ticket to Australia
0:11:53 > 0:11:56by finding snails, and selling them to the French.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59Sounds just as likely to work as your last two ideas.
0:11:59 > 0:12:04Hmm. No snails at all. OK, plan B!
0:12:04 > 0:12:08I shall just have to re-house some slugs,
0:12:08 > 0:12:10and try to pass them off as snails.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14- Oh! I've found a coin!- A what?!
0:12:14 > 0:12:18- An old coin!- Buried treasure!
0:12:18 > 0:12:22This coin's more than 100 years old!
0:12:22 > 0:12:24You couldn't just give me that coin, could you?
0:12:24 > 0:12:29You see, the deeper the dig, the older the stuff you find is.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32How do you know that, swallowed an archaeologist?
0:12:32 > 0:12:36No, I've just remembered what I was told in series one, episode six!
0:12:36 > 0:12:38When we went to the Isle of Wight to find dinosaurs.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41All around me in the earth, there must be
0:12:41 > 0:12:43loads of pipes and wires and tunnels,
0:12:43 > 0:12:45but there's also buried treasure
0:12:45 > 0:12:51and ruined houses and castles, and even bits of Diplodocusaur.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57Snails! Hundreds! Well, tens of them!
0:12:57 > 0:13:00- I'm rich! Come here my beauties!- Ah!
0:13:00 > 0:13:01What's happening?!
0:13:01 > 0:13:05I've got a bowl of garlic butter with your name on it.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Argh! Cave in!
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Little Howard! NOOOO!
0:13:11 > 0:13:13'Oh, my gibbing Aunt!
0:13:13 > 0:13:16'He's been buried alive! I'm speechless!
0:13:16 > 0:13:19'Well, no I'm not I'm still talking, but I need to calm down.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23'That's what I need, a nice soothing ad-break, yes.'
0:13:28 > 0:13:31Coming soon to Dig This TV:
0:13:31 > 0:13:37In Your Own Time Team, a real-time archaeological dig
0:13:37 > 0:13:40in its thrilling entirety.
0:13:40 > 0:13:44Have you found anything yet?
0:13:44 > 0:13:48I think I found a 1p and a 2p coin!
0:13:48 > 0:13:51Oh, I think that fell out of my wallet. Anything else?
0:13:51 > 0:13:52No.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54We might find exciting treasure
0:13:54 > 0:13:57in the first few hours, or we might find nothing at all in six months.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59That's the thrill of the dig!
0:13:59 > 0:14:06- So snuggle up with In Your Own Time Team, archaeology in the raw.- What?
0:14:06 > 0:14:10Not like that. Oh, I hope they find something soon
0:14:10 > 0:14:15- because making this ad even vaguely interesting is exhausting.- Woooooh!
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Are you all right Little Howard?!
0:14:25 > 0:14:29I think so. My whole life flashed before my eyes. We should have
0:14:29 > 0:14:32filmed it, and saved us doing a best of episode at the end of the series!
0:14:32 > 0:14:36Doesn't this tell you that trying to dig through to Australia
0:14:36 > 0:14:38is a stupid and dangerous idea!
0:14:38 > 0:14:41You've only dug a couple of metres and it's already caved in on you.
0:14:41 > 0:14:45It was fine, but then something started the ground shaking.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Well that definitely wasn't me.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49What's important is that it's impossible to dig through
0:14:49 > 0:14:51- to Australia.- G'day mate!
0:14:51 > 0:14:55Good afternoon, excuse me I'm just explaining that it's impossible
0:14:55 > 0:14:58to dig through the Earth...to...Australia.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01- You're an Australian! - Fair dinkum, I reckon I am.
0:15:01 > 0:15:05You're climbing out of that hole!
0:15:05 > 0:15:08Wow, nothing slips past you Poms, does it?
0:15:08 > 0:15:10That's impossible!
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Well, the ground collapsed under me barbie,
0:15:13 > 0:15:17I heard a yell, I dug down, found a collapsed tunnel and here I am!
0:15:17 > 0:15:20I knew it was possible!
0:15:20 > 0:15:22He's obviously a fake! His accent is ridiculous!
0:15:22 > 0:15:25Ah, fair go, mate!
0:15:25 > 0:15:28Your accent's fairly daggy as well!
0:15:28 > 0:15:32- Hey, were you in this tunnel when it collapsed, little fella?- Yes, I was.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35Well, you had a very narrow escape.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38You could have suffocated. Not to mention getting a hundred weight
0:15:38 > 0:15:40of hot prawns dumped on your head!
0:15:40 > 0:15:44You came all the way through my tunnel!
0:15:44 > 0:15:47Well, I don't want to show off, but I am actually pretty good
0:15:47 > 0:15:49at digging, I'm a lecturer of geology
0:15:49 > 0:15:51at the University of Woolloomooloo.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54I'm not surprised it caved in little fella,
0:15:54 > 0:15:57there's quite a bit of tectonic plate movement at the moment.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Phew! It wasn't my fault.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02Well, depends what you had for brekkie, mate!
0:16:02 > 0:16:04What's tech-tonic?
0:16:04 > 0:16:06Is that tonic water for computers?
0:16:08 > 0:16:14No. The Earth's crust is made up of large slabs of rock that rub against
0:16:14 > 0:16:17each other and that's when you get tremors and earthquakes.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20They float on top of lava and magma.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Those are ice creams aren't they?
0:16:24 > 0:16:30No. Magma and lava are bits of rock that have got so hot they've melted.
0:16:30 > 0:16:34You know what? Hang on a second.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39Take this hot chicken pie.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44Where did you get that from?
0:16:44 > 0:16:47I thought I might be gone for some time, and I also thought
0:16:47 > 0:16:50maybe I'll have to explain plate tectonics,
0:16:50 > 0:16:51so I brought a hot chicken pie!
0:16:51 > 0:16:53- Fair enough.- Sounds plausible.
0:16:53 > 0:16:59Look at how the pastry sits on top of the hot, delicious chicken gravy.
0:16:59 > 0:17:00Strewth I'm so hungry.
0:17:00 > 0:17:05But when you crack the surface of the pie,
0:17:05 > 0:17:07sometimes, the hot magma underneath
0:17:07 > 0:17:10spurts to the surface, and that's how volcanoes are started.
0:17:10 > 0:17:14And, when the crust rubs against each other,
0:17:14 > 0:17:17that is when you get an earthquake.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Wow! That's... Wait a minute!
0:17:19 > 0:17:23Why am I here talking about Teutonic plaits?
0:17:23 > 0:17:26I have made history!
0:17:26 > 0:17:27Out of my way, Cobblers!
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Woah! Watch the pie, mate!
0:17:53 > 0:17:56I've made it! I'm the first human being ever
0:17:56 > 0:18:00to dig through the entire Earth to Australia!
0:18:00 > 0:18:05And some people said I couldn't do it!
0:18:05 > 0:18:08And I won the bet.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11No you didn't mate, we live next door to ya.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14We're the neighbours!
0:18:14 > 0:18:17What?! Oh, no!
0:18:17 > 0:18:19Oh, come on mate, don't be like that,
0:18:19 > 0:18:21everybody needs good neighbours!
0:18:21 > 0:18:26You were having a party in the garden next door and we didn't even notice?!
0:18:26 > 0:18:32Yeah well, we Australians are quiet and introverted people.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Hey, Bruce!
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Crank up the DC!
0:18:36 > 0:18:40MUSIC: Back in Black by AC/DC
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Sorry to sit on your birthday cake,
0:18:44 > 0:18:46but there was no way you were going to
0:18:46 > 0:18:48dig all the way through the Earth.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50I do like to say I told you so. I told you so!
0:18:50 > 0:18:52Why not?
0:18:52 > 0:18:53Well, for a start,
0:18:53 > 0:18:57Australia isn't even opposite where you guys are on the globe.
0:18:57 > 0:18:58Yeah! Isn't it?!
0:18:58 > 0:19:02No. This is you guys and this is Australia down here.
0:19:02 > 0:19:06If we were to dig in a straight line, all the way through there,
0:19:06 > 0:19:11you would actually come out just off the coast of New Zealand.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14So Big Howard was wrong when he said
0:19:14 > 0:19:17I'd get to Australia if I carried on digging!
0:19:17 > 0:19:18That was a joke!
0:19:18 > 0:19:20It doesn't really matter because you never
0:19:20 > 0:19:23would have been able to dig all the way through.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26What makes you so sure of that, Captain Clever Pants?
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Hit it, Bruce!
0:19:37 > 0:19:40# Down under's not down under It's down and left a bit
0:19:40 > 0:19:44# That doesn't really matter though cos you can't dig to it
0:19:44 > 0:19:48# To get to Australasia you can dig straight through the floor
0:19:48 > 0:19:51# But there's a little something in the way
0:19:51 > 0:19:52# And that's Earth's molten core.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54# Come to Australia!
0:19:54 > 0:19:56# But digging's not the way
0:19:56 > 0:20:00# Cos you'll find several billion tonnes of lava in your way
0:20:00 > 0:20:03# Come to Australia! But come the long way round
0:20:03 > 0:20:07# Cos you won't see a kangaroo if you dig through the ground
0:20:14 > 0:20:18# You could dig right through the mantel if you can stand the heat
0:20:18 > 0:20:22# You can tunnel through the outer core but you might burn your feet
0:20:22 > 0:20:26# If you go any deeper you'll be crushed before you're through
0:20:26 > 0:20:30# If you get into the inner core you're a human barbecue
0:20:30 > 0:20:31# Come to Australia!
0:20:31 > 0:20:33# But not like Jules Verne
0:20:33 > 0:20:36# Cos if you journey through the centre of the Earth
0:20:36 > 0:20:37# You won't return.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39# Come To Australia!
0:20:39 > 0:20:41# And don't come on a whim
0:20:41 > 0:20:43# And don't try digging tunnels there
0:20:43 > 0:20:45# And for Bruce's sake don't swim! #
0:20:45 > 0:20:48- Swimming to Australia?- No!
0:20:48 > 0:20:51# Come to Australia! But come the long way round
0:20:51 > 0:20:56# Cos you won't see a wallaby if you dig through the ground. #
0:20:56 > 0:20:58Mate.
0:21:00 > 0:21:01Night, night, Little Howard.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03Night, night, Big Howard.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06So, did I win the bet then?
0:21:06 > 0:21:09Is this a long distance call from Australia?
0:21:09 > 0:21:12- Erm, no.- Then no.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15Well, I hope you've learned a lesson today.
0:21:15 > 0:21:16Yes, I have.
0:21:16 > 0:21:20- I won't be doing that again.- Good.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23Just out of interest, won't be doing what again?
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Listening to anything you say.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29- What?!- You are always making poorly researched quips
0:21:29 > 0:21:32that make me try to dig through the centre of the earth!
0:21:32 > 0:21:35- That was a joke!- I nearly got killed!
0:21:35 > 0:21:38- It was actually funnier than most of your jokes.- Right!
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Oi! What are you doing?!
0:21:40 > 0:21:43- You're going back down the hole! Come here!- No!
0:21:43 > 0:21:44Get off! I don't like Australia!
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Argh, get off!
0:21:47 > 0:21:49That hurts! Not the ears!