0:00:04 > 0:00:06Have you caught anything yet?
0:00:06 > 0:00:09Just a couple of Sticklebricks.
0:00:09 > 0:00:12I think they're Sticklebacks. Sticklebricks are freshwater.
0:00:12 > 0:00:15No, I mean Sticklebricks. Look!
0:00:15 > 0:00:18Wow. What are you using for bait?
0:00:18 > 0:00:20- Other Sticklebricks.- Oh!
0:00:20 > 0:00:23This must be where that container ship full of toy bricks capsized.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26They were scraping Duplo off seagulls for weeks after that.
0:00:26 > 0:00:29Ooh! Imagine swallowing a Sticklebrick!
0:00:29 > 0:00:32Believe me, swallowing it isn't the painful...
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Oh, my hot flumps!
0:00:34 > 0:00:37I've just seen a mermaid!
0:00:37 > 0:00:39What? It can't be a mermaid, mermaids don't exist.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42It'll be something that looks like a Mermaid.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44Yeah, a lady with a fish's tail!
0:00:44 > 0:00:47I'm telling you there's a mermaid out there.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50That's it, you have a rummage in the bag, get the binoculars,
0:00:50 > 0:00:52and I'll see if I can identify your mermaid.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54KLAXON SOUNDS
0:00:54 > 0:00:59I, Little Howard, have come up with another of my Bi-i-i-ig Questions!
0:00:59 > 0:01:03Can I Catch A Mermaid?!
0:01:03 > 0:01:06I do wish you wouldn't...
0:01:06 > 0:01:09Ow! Ow! Something's biting my foot. Let go, crab!
0:01:13 > 0:01:15It is actually a Lego crab!
0:01:15 > 0:01:19- Give it to me.- No, it's mine. I found it.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25# I love mer-monkeys, lots of mer-monkeys
0:01:25 > 0:01:28# All those flippy little flappy little mer-monkeys
0:01:28 > 0:01:31# With their fish's tails and their mer-bananas
0:01:31 > 0:01:35# I think that if we were mer-monkeys we'd have happier mananas
0:01:35 > 0:01:38# Give me mer-monkeys, lots of mermonkeys
0:01:38 > 0:01:41# For you know that it's mermonkeys I adore
0:01:41 > 0:01:44# If my love said that she did not love those mer-monkeys
0:01:44 > 0:01:47# I wouldn't love her any more! #
0:01:47 > 0:01:48Thank you very much!
0:01:48 > 0:01:53The mer-monkeys aren't as good at dancing as the ordinary monkeys.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Give them some more mer-bananas.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58I don't think they like mer-bananas.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02What? They're half fish, half banana! What's not to like?!
0:02:17 > 0:02:23Ah, Lower Piddlington on Sea, my favourite childhood seaside town.
0:02:23 > 0:02:24It hasn't changed a bit.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27Well, some shops have closed,
0:02:27 > 0:02:30and one of the piers has fallen into the sea.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32And the people were bigger when I was a child,
0:02:32 > 0:02:34but apart from that...
0:02:34 > 0:02:36Stop squelching, I'm trying to concentrate!
0:02:36 > 0:02:39Sorry, there's a bit of water still in my shoe.
0:02:39 > 0:02:43- What are you trying to concentrate on?- Catching a...
0:02:43 > 0:02:47Blimey! Your feet are even bigger than they look.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49Catching a mermaid of course!
0:02:49 > 0:02:52How will you catch a mermaid that doesn't exist?
0:02:52 > 0:02:56I have calculated the optimum plan to maximise my chances of success.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59I shall run into the sea waving this net about.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02If mermaids exist, which they don't,
0:03:02 > 0:03:04you won't catch them with a net.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07- You'd need something much more sophisticated than that.- Oo!
0:03:07 > 0:03:10- I've got an idea!- Is it running into the sea with a net?
0:03:10 > 0:03:12No, it's borrowing your phone.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Oh, well I suppose you can borrow my phone.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Thank you. You won't regret this.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21- Call me, fish woman! - What are you doing?!
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Is that not good for phones?
0:03:23 > 0:03:26No, it is not! How am I going to get that back now?
0:03:26 > 0:03:29Ow! Who threw that?!
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Oh, typical.
0:03:31 > 0:03:35A mermaid! A mermaid stole my...
0:03:37 > 0:03:39A mermaid?
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Mermaid... Mermaid..
0:03:45 > 0:03:46A flippin' mermaid!
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Ow!
0:03:48 > 0:03:50- I think he's waking up. - I know.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54- He'd never let me do this when he's awake.- Ow!
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Where am I? Who are you?
0:03:56 > 0:04:00It's OK, you just fainted like a big wet lettuce.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02This is Bob The Postman.
0:04:02 > 0:04:06You want to be careful shouting things about mermaids, son,
0:04:06 > 0:04:10some people might think you're one envelope short of a postbag.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12Sorry, I work in the post office.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15I mean people will think you're soft in the head.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17Big Howard has a very hard head. Look.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20- Ow!- See. - No, they'll think he's loopy.
0:04:20 > 0:04:24That's what they said about me when I told 'em I'd seen the mermaid.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26You've seen a mermaid too?!
0:04:26 > 0:04:29Everyone from Lower Piddlington's seen Bessie.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32She's been swimming here for as long as I can remember.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35But no-one from outside the village believes us.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Well, this has to change!
0:04:37 > 0:04:41I will go down in history as the man who proved that mermaids exist!
0:04:41 > 0:04:44I must catch a mermaid!
0:04:44 > 0:04:47Oh, that's a great idea, however did you think of that?
0:04:47 > 0:04:51We tried to get TV people down here, but they need evidence.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54- Well, hey... I'm a TV person! - Are you?
0:04:54 > 0:04:56I recognise him, but I've no idea who...
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Trust me, I'm very famous.
0:04:58 > 0:05:02It's just that word's taking longer to get round than I thought.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Fear not simple village person!
0:05:05 > 0:05:08I will catch you a mermaid!
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Ow!
0:05:13 > 0:05:16How are we going to catch a mermaid?
0:05:16 > 0:05:19I still don't see why we can't just swim out and find her.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21You've only got your 20 metre swimming badge.
0:05:21 > 0:05:26Unless the mermaid is 20 metres from the shore, you've no chance.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28I'll walk along the bottom of the seabed,
0:05:28 > 0:05:32like in that film, about the pirates from the Caribbean.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35- Pirates of the Caribbean?- Yes, but what was the name of the film?
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Pirates of the Ca...
0:05:38 > 0:05:40Never mind. You cannot breathe under water.
0:05:40 > 0:05:44Mermaids can breath under water, fish can breath under water,
0:05:44 > 0:05:47therefore, I can breath under water.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Mermaids can only breathe under water because...
0:05:49 > 0:05:54they're magic, and fish can only breathe under water because...
0:05:54 > 0:05:55Because they've got gills.
0:05:55 > 0:06:01- Can girls breathe under water?! - No! He said 'gills'! Didn't you?
0:06:01 > 0:06:06I'm Kim, from the Professional Association of Diving Instructors.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08If girls can't breathe under water,
0:06:08 > 0:06:11how do you explain synchronised swimming?!
0:06:11 > 0:06:14I don't think anyone can explain synchronised swimming.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17What happens is the water passes over the gills
0:06:17 > 0:06:19and the fish absorb the oxygen,
0:06:19 > 0:06:23we humans don't have any and this is why we can't breathe under water.
0:06:23 > 0:06:24But what if...
0:06:24 > 0:06:27Even if you're a girl...
0:06:27 > 0:06:31- How about I show you how you can breathe under water?- Yeah!
0:06:34 > 0:06:37OK, are you ready to go to SCUBA diving!?
0:06:37 > 0:06:41Brilliant! Is Shaggy coming as well?
0:06:41 > 0:06:46We've been through this, it's SCUBA diving. Which stands for... er...
0:06:46 > 0:06:52'seriously cool underwater bobbing about'.
0:06:52 > 0:06:53What it stands for is,
0:06:53 > 0:06:57'Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus'.
0:06:57 > 0:07:01These cylinders on our back are full of air that has been squashed
0:07:01 > 0:07:06so it can come out of our regulators and we can breathe under water.
0:07:06 > 0:07:10So put that in your mouth and have a go.
0:07:10 > 0:07:15- Excellent. - OK! Let's go Scooba-dedoo-ba diving!
0:07:15 > 0:07:18- Let's catch ourselves a mermaid! - Mermaid?
0:08:37 > 0:08:41We have found categorical proof that mermaids exist! Look at this.
0:08:41 > 0:08:46"Monday - did some singing, slapped a whelk,
0:08:46 > 0:08:49"sank a tea clipper, went to seabed." Ha!
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Everyone will believe us now!
0:08:52 > 0:08:58- I don't believe you.- Oh. Then, we still need to catch a mermaid!
0:08:58 > 0:09:01We must scour every metric centimetre of the coast.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05We've got to get the entire population together.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09- Apart from him, he doesn't believe us.- No, he's right, I don't.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11To the town hall!
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Right... Not as big a turn-out as I'd hoped.
0:09:27 > 0:09:31Yeah, sorry. The vicar's had to cry off with his knees.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35Marge from the corner shop has got a big yogurt delivery.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39And Kim from the diving school thinks we're all barmy.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41He's not from round here.
0:09:41 > 0:09:45Right. Item one on the agenda - can we catch a mermaid?
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Now I've got this net and...
0:09:48 > 0:09:51CHALK SCRAPING BLACKBOARD
0:09:56 > 0:09:59- MOTHER!- Watch it!
0:09:59 > 0:10:01I'm her brother, call me uncle
0:10:01 > 0:10:04and I'll catch your mermaid!
0:10:04 > 0:10:06'Whoa!
0:10:06 > 0:10:09'What's this, another talking computer?
0:10:09 > 0:10:11'As if there isn't enough suspense
0:10:11 > 0:10:13'wondering if they'll catch the mermaid.
0:10:13 > 0:10:19'And is it me or is there something fishy about Lower Piddlington On Sea?
0:10:19 > 0:10:23SNIFFS: 'Oh, er, actually I think that is me. Sorry.'
0:10:28 > 0:10:33Coming soon to Blu-Definition DVD Ray all 4,000 episodes of the
0:10:33 > 0:10:38cult TV classic, The Underwater Crime-Fighting Mermaid From The Sea!
0:10:43 > 0:10:50Hello! I am a mermaid, but I also solve underwater crimes.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Who are you?
0:10:52 > 0:10:55I'm an underwater criminal, ha-ha.
0:10:55 > 0:10:59I'm going to steal this treasure chest, ha-ha-ha.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02No, you're not! I'm going to stop you!
0:11:05 > 0:11:09Oh, me ham and egg sarnie's soaked.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12'Actually, watching this, it's no where near as good as I remember it.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16'I was going to buy this for my kids. It's rubbish.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19'Sorry, back to the plot.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21'Previously on Little Howards Big Question.'
0:11:21 > 0:11:24- I've just seen a mermaid!- What!
0:11:24 > 0:11:27- Call me, fishy woman!- How am I going to get that back now! Ow!
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Oh, typical...
0:11:30 > 0:11:32a mermaid!
0:11:32 > 0:11:35- Ow!- This is Bob the postman.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38I...will catch you a mermaid.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41How are we going to catch a mermaid?
0:11:41 > 0:11:44I'll catch your mermaid.
0:11:44 > 0:11:48But catching the mermaid ain't gonna be easy.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Mermaids are dangerous beasties!
0:11:51 > 0:11:54They say Mermaids lure sailors to their deaths
0:11:54 > 0:11:59on the rocks with their spellbinding beauty and their siren song!
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Siren song?
0:12:01 > 0:12:03- Do mermaids drive ambulances?- No...
0:12:03 > 0:12:08- Do they make a noise like, 'Nee-nor nee-nor'?- No, boy.
0:12:08 > 0:12:12- Woo woo woo woo...- Can I just...? - Woo woo woo! Honk-honk.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14- Nee-nor.- Shut it!
0:12:14 > 0:12:18Thank you. 'Siren' is another word for 'mermaid'.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Their singing is said to be so beautiful
0:12:20 > 0:12:26people are drawn towards it to their certain doom! Like Lady Gaga.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28I bet they're not as good at singing as me.
0:12:28 > 0:12:32- The point is, mermaids are dangerous!- Rubbish!
0:12:32 > 0:12:35What about that film with the little mermaid in it?
0:12:35 > 0:12:38- The Little Mermaid? - But what was the film called?
0:12:38 > 0:12:43If Mermaids are dangerous, how will we protect ourselves?
0:12:43 > 0:12:46- In me submariney! - You've got a submariney?!
0:12:46 > 0:12:48All computers own submarines.
0:12:48 > 0:12:53We just don't go on about it because we don't like to share 'em.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Brilliant! Who's with us!
0:12:55 > 0:12:58What?! I got to run the post office!
0:12:58 > 0:13:00Them queues won't organise themselves.
0:13:00 > 0:13:05They will, they have lights and a voice saying "Window eight, please."
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Not round 'ere.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16When we see a mermaid, we've got to watch Big Howard.
0:13:16 > 0:13:17It's fine, I don't need any help.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20He's got a history of falling in love with...
0:13:20 > 0:13:22well, any woman he sees.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24We might be OK.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28Christopher Columbus, the fella who first sailed across the Atlantic,
0:13:28 > 0:13:32wrote in his captain's log that he saw three mermaids but he thought
0:13:32 > 0:13:35"they were not as beautiful as they had been represented".
0:13:35 > 0:13:38Believe me, that won't stop Big Howard.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41It's bigger in here than it looks. Argh!
0:13:48 > 0:13:51Right, so where's the Mermaid Detector.
0:13:51 > 0:13:57We don't need one, we're just going to follow our noses.
0:13:57 > 0:14:01OK, so neither of us have noses, so we'll have to follow his.
0:14:01 > 0:14:07- It's a mermaid!- See what I mean about his girlfriends.
0:14:07 > 0:14:14Ah no, common mistake, that there is a Manatee, or Sea Cow.
0:14:14 > 0:14:18Its side fins look like arms from above so when people saw them
0:14:18 > 0:14:21from ships they looked like half fish, half human bodies.
0:14:21 > 0:14:26They're even called Sirenia after the mermaid sirens of myth.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33Oo! Look a that! Someone's drowned a unicorn!
0:14:33 > 0:14:36Ah no, that's the Narwhal!
0:14:36 > 0:14:39When the horn of this creature was first found on a beach,
0:14:39 > 0:14:44it was thought to prove the existence of unicorns.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49Argh! It's a...
0:14:49 > 0:14:51What is that?
0:14:51 > 0:14:54This here is Vampyroteuthis Infernalis,
0:14:54 > 0:14:59which translates as 'Vampire Squid From Hell!',
0:14:59 > 0:15:03it ejects a mucus full of blue balls of light when it's threatened.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15There are some amazing things down here.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17But no mermaids.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Might that be because, I don't know,
0:15:20 > 0:15:23- they don't exist?- What?
0:15:23 > 0:15:27If you don't believe in mermaids why did you agree to help us find one?
0:15:27 > 0:15:32As you land-lubbers were prepared to pay £10,000
0:15:32 > 0:15:35- for a jaunt around the coast... - I do not lub land!
0:15:35 > 0:15:37The very thought...
0:15:38 > 0:15:4010,000 what?!
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Oh, did I not mention my fee?
0:15:49 > 0:15:53No good stinking greedy sea-lubber.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56He did drive us half the way round the world in his submarine.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59And took all our dinner money!
0:15:59 > 0:16:03We're still no closer to catching the mermaid.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06It could be out there now luring sailors to their doom
0:16:06 > 0:16:09on the rocks with its Nee-Nor song.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11- Siren song.- Exactly.
0:16:11 > 0:16:16My place in history as the man who discovered mermaids is not assured.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19- Siren song!- OK, I got it wrong, just leave it, will you?
0:16:19 > 0:16:23No. We could play the mermaid at its own game - sing to it!
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Lure it to the shore.
0:16:25 > 0:16:29It's as good a plan as any of the ones we've had so far!
0:16:29 > 0:16:32# You're the girl of my breams
0:16:32 > 0:16:34# Though you've got a herring butt
0:16:34 > 0:16:37# It's not my plaice to say
0:16:37 > 0:16:42# As strange as it seems, I'll say just for the halibut
0:16:42 > 0:16:48# Oh, fishy woman, please do swim my way
0:16:52 > 0:16:55# Come to me, fish woman, oh, you blow my mind
0:16:55 > 0:16:57# You've got a fish's tail instead of a behind
0:16:57 > 0:17:00# Come to me, fish woman, swim into my arms
0:17:00 > 0:17:03# You don't have any legs, but you have many charms. #
0:17:03 > 0:17:08Something's coming! It's working!
0:17:08 > 0:17:12# You got a fish's tail, you got me singing scales
0:17:12 > 0:17:14# I wanna meet your mamma, I hope she's not a whale
0:17:14 > 0:17:17# Oh, put your fin in mine, I'll fill my bath with brine
0:17:17 > 0:17:20# I'm gonna be your baby, until the end of time
0:17:20 > 0:17:23# Come to me, fish woman, oh, what do you say?
0:17:23 > 0:17:26# Cos I ain't gonna let you be the one that got away
0:17:26 > 0:17:28# Come to me, fish woman, girl, you blow my mind
0:17:28 > 0:17:32# You've got a fish's tail, instead of a behind
0:17:37 > 0:17:39# If I stop eating fish, will you give me a kiss?
0:17:39 > 0:17:43# If I buy dolphin-friendly tuna, will you be my girlfriend sooner?
0:17:43 > 0:17:46# Half a woman, half a fish, Girl, you knock me sideways
0:17:46 > 0:17:50# Girl, you'll be my favorite dish, not just for tea on fridays
0:17:54 > 0:17:57# Come to me, fish woman, I do not agree
0:17:57 > 0:18:00# When they say that there are many more fish in the sea
0:18:00 > 0:18:03# Come to me, fish woman, Oh, you blow my mind
0:18:03 > 0:18:06# You've got a fish's tail, instead of a behind
0:18:06 > 0:18:08# Come to me fish woman, swim into my arms
0:18:08 > 0:18:11# You don't have any legs, but you have so many charms
0:18:11 > 0:18:14# Come to me, fish woman, oh, what do you say
0:18:14 > 0:18:17# Cos I ain't gonna let you be the one that got away. #
0:18:19 > 0:18:23I've got her! Little Howard! Quick, run and get Bob The Postman!
0:18:23 > 0:18:27And Uncle. I'll call the people from the telly!
0:18:27 > 0:18:29This'll show 'em! I'll be famous!
0:18:29 > 0:18:31At last. Ha ha!
0:18:31 > 0:18:36Stay there...fish person. Hello?
0:18:36 > 0:18:38Is that the people from the telly!?
0:18:38 > 0:18:40You'll never guess what I've got.
0:18:40 > 0:18:44Bob The Postman! Bob The Postman!
0:18:44 > 0:18:49Can anyone tell me where Bob The Postman works?!
0:18:57 > 0:19:01Wait a minute. There's something fishy going on here.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07They all look like...
0:19:07 > 0:19:11Bob The Postman.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14Oh, dear.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17I'm here on the beach with "Big" Howard Read,
0:19:17 > 0:19:22who claims to have discovered a new species of marine life,
0:19:22 > 0:19:25- is that ri...- It's a mermaid, it's only a flippin' mermaid!
0:19:25 > 0:19:27I've got a mermaid!
0:19:27 > 0:19:33Our viewers know previous mermaid sightings have proved to be hoaxes.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35- Have they?- Yes.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39PT Barnham, the Circus showman toured his so-called "Fiji mermaid"
0:19:39 > 0:19:43around America, but that turned out to be the skeleton of a fish
0:19:43 > 0:19:47sewn to the skeleton of a monkey and covered in papier-mache.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49And the idiots fell for that?
0:19:49 > 0:19:52Well, I tell you for definite, this is not a hoax.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55Erm, Big Howard...
0:19:55 > 0:19:58The mermaid... It's Bob The Postman!
0:19:58 > 0:20:02Don't be so silly, Little Howard, it was clearly a beautiful lady.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:20:07 > 0:20:10Oh, that's priceless! It really is!
0:20:10 > 0:20:12'News just breaking here...
0:20:12 > 0:20:15'the so-called 'Lower Piddlington on Sea Mermaid'
0:20:15 > 0:20:18'is actually the Postman dressed up.
0:20:18 > 0:20:23'I'm here live, with the confirmed idiot, Big Howard, who thought
0:20:23 > 0:20:28'a middle-aged man in lycra fish legs was a beautiful lady...'
0:20:28 > 0:20:30- Ha-ha-ha-ha! You idiot! - It was!
0:20:30 > 0:20:35I worked it out when I noticed that everyone we saw who lives
0:20:35 > 0:20:39in Lower Piddlington on sea was just the same person dressed up!
0:20:39 > 0:20:43Only one person lives there...
0:20:43 > 0:20:45Bob The Postman!
0:20:45 > 0:20:48But how did you know he was the mermaid as well?
0:20:48 > 0:20:53There was a trail of seaweed coming out from the post office.
0:20:53 > 0:20:58He would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for us pesky kids!
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Shut ya face.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04'We're still here, still going on and on
0:21:04 > 0:21:08'about the so-called Mermaid of Lower Piddlington On Sea.
0:21:08 > 0:21:13'Bob The Postman, why did you make Big Howard look like such an idiot?'
0:21:13 > 0:21:14Ha-ha-ha!
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Piddlington has been in decline and
0:21:16 > 0:21:19we need our own mythical creature, like Loch Ness!
0:21:19 > 0:21:21'To get the punters flooding in!
0:21:21 > 0:21:24'So you've been pretending to be a mermaid?
0:21:24 > 0:21:26'I pretended to be everyone in the village for the
0:21:26 > 0:21:29'past few years, as they all moved to Upper Piddlington!
0:21:29 > 0:21:34'So why not a mermaid? I rather thinks it suits me.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36'And it looks like it has s worked!
0:21:36 > 0:21:42'Big Howard's abject humiliation has boosted the number of visitors here.'
0:21:42 > 0:21:47At least we have genuine mermaid artefacts to prove that I was...
0:21:47 > 0:21:51'..a momento of Big Howard making an utter numpty of himself,
0:21:51 > 0:21:54'buy some lovely gifts at my Mermaids Are Us gift shop.'
0:21:54 > 0:21:56Ha-ha-ha!
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Turn it off!