Why Am I Afraid?

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:31 > 0:00:34Ladies and gentlemen...

0:00:34 > 0:00:36Jetman UK!

0:00:38 > 0:00:45Friends, colleagues and invited members of the international media.

0:00:46 > 0:00:49Touchdown, match point, wicket conversion!

0:00:49 > 0:00:53- We're supposed to be playing football!- I, Jetman UK...

0:00:53 > 0:00:55Oh! Look! It's Jetman UK!

0:00:55 > 0:00:58..after 20 years of hard work, on and off,

0:00:58 > 0:01:03have finally perfected the Jetman UK Jetpack, UK!

0:01:03 > 0:01:08Wow! He's finally done it!

0:01:08 > 0:01:11I shall prove that a Purley-based man can fly

0:01:11 > 0:01:14without the use of an aircraft or a winch.

0:01:14 > 0:01:16Wow!

0:01:16 > 0:01:19In a matter of seconds, I shall fly, unaided, over the cold,

0:01:19 > 0:01:23hard, pointy, unyielding earth.

0:01:23 > 0:01:27Erm, er...plummeting, er, swooping,

0:01:27 > 0:01:32like a massive eagle...who's never actually flown before, and...

0:01:32 > 0:01:34Oh dear.

0:01:34 > 0:01:37Jetman UK, are you all right?

0:01:37 > 0:01:41Er, no. No, I really haven't thought this through.

0:01:41 > 0:01:45I kind of forgot that I'm really, really, really scared of heights.

0:01:45 > 0:01:49You're Jetman UK and you're afraid of heights?! Ha!

0:01:49 > 0:01:51More terrified, really.

0:01:51 > 0:01:54- I'll do it!- What?!

0:01:54 > 0:01:56I will fly it for you,

0:01:56 > 0:02:00so the media can spread the news of your invention all over the world!

0:02:09 > 0:02:12Well, at least Purley and parts of Croydon.

0:02:12 > 0:02:14Give us 'ere!

0:02:14 > 0:02:16Little Howard...

0:02:16 > 0:02:20Little Howard, I'm not sure about this.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22LITTLE HOWARD PANTS

0:02:22 > 0:02:23Aaargh!

0:02:23 > 0:02:27I can't do it either! I'm...

0:02:29 > 0:02:31..scared, Big Howard!

0:02:34 > 0:02:38Little Howard, it's OK. Everyone's scared of something.

0:02:38 > 0:02:44Except me, but not everyone's as brave and fearless as I am.

0:02:44 > 0:02:49I, Little Howard, have come up with another of my BIIIIG Questions!

0:02:49 > 0:02:50Why am I afraid?

0:02:52 > 0:02:54BIG HOWARD SCREAMS

0:03:09 > 0:03:12# I love monkeys, I love monkeys

0:03:12 > 0:03:16# All those happy little chirpy little monkeys

0:03:16 > 0:03:20# With their tails and their bananas

0:03:20 > 0:03:23# I think that if we all were monkeys we'd have happier mananas

0:03:23 > 0:03:25# Give me monkeys, lots of monkeys

0:03:25 > 0:03:29# For you know that it's the monkeys I adore

0:03:29 > 0:03:32# If my love said that she did not love those monkeys

0:03:32 > 0:03:34# I wouldn't love her any more. #

0:03:34 > 0:03:37Thank you very much!

0:03:40 > 0:03:43Oh, perhaps the monkeys have Pomfretphobia...

0:03:43 > 0:03:45which is a fear of monkeys.

0:03:45 > 0:03:46Aaaah!

0:03:48 > 0:03:51Ah, monkey four says they're afraid

0:03:51 > 0:03:54of the giant spider by the curtain.

0:03:56 > 0:03:59THEY SCREAM

0:04:02 > 0:04:06- Seriously, we can't go in the house? - My mum won't let me.

0:04:06 > 0:04:10Why would I be afraid of heights?

0:04:10 > 0:04:13- Because they're scary? - No, they're not.

0:04:13 > 0:04:14You're not scared of heights,

0:04:14 > 0:04:18or you wouldn't walk around, ya streak of widdle.

0:04:18 > 0:04:22Go easy on that thing, you're freaking me out!

0:04:22 > 0:04:25- I reckon you have vertigo. - No, vertigo means dizziness.

0:04:25 > 0:04:28I think you'll find we've got acrophobia.

0:04:28 > 0:04:31I'm not scared of a crow!

0:04:31 > 0:04:33No, acrophobia is a fear of heights.

0:04:33 > 0:04:37Although I am afraid of crows too because they can fly, can't they?

0:04:37 > 0:04:43No, only idiots thinks that's called vertigo. No offence.

0:04:43 > 0:04:44But how do you cure it?

0:04:44 > 0:04:48I conquered my fear by not going anywhere near any for ages.

0:04:48 > 0:04:53This is no good. I need to test if I'm afraid of heights properly!

0:04:53 > 0:05:00- We need to get higher up. Coming? - Erm, no. No, I, erm, forgot to go...

0:05:00 > 0:05:03rollerblading with, er... Princess Anne?

0:05:03 > 0:05:06- Really!? Wow! - No, you're not.

0:05:06 > 0:05:08Come on, Big Howard'll pay for lunch.

0:05:08 > 0:05:11- For everything? I- don't know... - You're on!

0:05:11 > 0:05:15Well, if I'm going out in public, I should really do this incognito.

0:05:16 > 0:05:18That'll do.

0:05:21 > 0:05:23Come on, Big Howard.

0:05:23 > 0:05:27- I don't believe you're not scared of anything!- No. I'm not.

0:05:27 > 0:05:29I'm really very brave.

0:05:29 > 0:05:30Skiing?

0:05:30 > 0:05:32Wah! Mountains?

0:05:32 > 0:05:33No.

0:05:33 > 0:05:36- Geese?- Urgh! Flying geese?

0:05:36 > 0:05:38Nope.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40Skiing geese?

0:05:40 > 0:05:41I'm gonna be sick!

0:05:53 > 0:05:55Injections!

0:05:55 > 0:05:58Wah - you have them when you go on holiday...in a plane! Ooh!

0:05:58 > 0:06:01No, I'm not afraid of injections.

0:06:01 > 0:06:05- Girls?- Aaargh!- What have girls got to do with heights?

0:06:05 > 0:06:07Nothing, I'm just terrified of girls.

0:06:19 > 0:06:23Wow, you really are scared of heights.

0:06:41 > 0:06:42HE SCREAMS

0:06:49 > 0:06:50What are you doing?

0:07:04 > 0:07:06BIG HOWARD SHOUTS

0:07:06 > 0:07:08Right, you!

0:07:12 > 0:07:17What's this? "Wish You Weren't Here?

0:07:17 > 0:07:22"Are you afraid of heights, and a stupid friend of yours

0:07:22 > 0:07:24"suggested going up a tall building to cure yourself?

0:07:24 > 0:07:27"Don't listen to him, call me...

0:07:27 > 0:07:29"The Fear Master!"

0:07:33 > 0:07:36Are you afraid of... massive ants?

0:07:36 > 0:07:39- No.- No, but really massive ants?

0:07:39 > 0:07:42- They're not flying massive ants, are they?- No.- Phew!

0:07:42 > 0:07:46- But one of them is a girl. - Arrgh!- Here we are.

0:07:48 > 0:07:52"The Fear Master's Den of Fear. Please wipe your feet."

0:07:58 > 0:08:02THEY STUMBLE AND THUD

0:08:07 > 0:08:11Actually, there's no-one in. There's no-one actually in.

0:08:11 > 0:08:13Hello, are you The Fear Master?

0:08:13 > 0:08:17- Yeah, hi.- Are we...?! Aarrgh!

0:08:17 > 0:08:19I'm guessing he's afraid of heights.

0:08:19 > 0:08:22They usually start at a young age, phobias.

0:08:22 > 0:08:26Can you remember anything in your childhood that created this?

0:08:26 > 0:08:29No, I can't think of anything.

0:08:31 > 0:08:33Oh, hang on, yes...

0:08:33 > 0:08:36There was one occasion when my dad accidentally attached me

0:08:36 > 0:08:38to a kite and pushed me off a cliff.

0:08:38 > 0:08:43- Attached you to a kite and pushed you off a cliff?- Yes, he did.

0:08:43 > 0:08:46We'll be here some time. Do you want to come back in a while?

0:08:46 > 0:08:49OK. Good luck!

0:08:51 > 0:08:54- String! - No, I'm not afraid of string.

0:08:54 > 0:08:56Er...waffles!

0:08:56 > 0:08:58- Mice!- No.

0:08:58 > 0:08:59Elephants!

0:08:59 > 0:09:02- No!- Elephants dressed as mice.

0:09:02 > 0:09:03No.

0:09:03 > 0:09:07Ooh! Are we playing Guess Everything In Your Brain?

0:09:07 > 0:09:11No, he reckons he's not afraid of anything and I don't believe him.

0:09:11 > 0:09:14He can't believe I'm grown-up and brave,

0:09:14 > 0:09:17just cos he's terrified of going up a tiny ramp!

0:09:17 > 0:09:21Hmm, you're not afraid of anything, you say?

0:09:21 > 0:09:23Follow me!

0:09:26 > 0:09:27OK, Jetman?

0:09:27 > 0:09:29- UK.- Oh, excuse me, Jetman UK.

0:09:29 > 0:09:32What we're gonna do is picture a movie screen

0:09:32 > 0:09:34and we're going to play,

0:09:34 > 0:09:38from beginning to end in black and white,

0:09:38 > 0:09:42where it first started. OK, so we're going back to that first event.

0:09:42 > 0:09:44So, close your eyes.

0:09:44 > 0:09:47Bring that first frame up on the movie screen.

0:09:47 > 0:09:50Bring the first frame up of when you first felt that old fear,

0:09:50 > 0:09:55in black and white, and press play right now.

0:09:57 > 0:09:58Pause it there. Freeze frame it.

0:09:58 > 0:10:02Blank it out. Jump out of the seat and jump into the screen.

0:10:02 > 0:10:07Full colour. See what you see, hear what you hear, feel what you feel.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09Now we're going to rewind it ten times the speed, OK?

0:10:09 > 0:10:12Three, two, one, Go!

0:10:12 > 0:10:15Bang! Stop it there, Blank it out, out of the screen, into your seat.

0:10:15 > 0:10:18OK, I'm a bit scared now.

0:10:18 > 0:10:25Look at that idiot, swerving all over the road! I blame sat navs.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27Imagine, letting a computer drive you round the country!

0:10:28 > 0:10:30Erm, surely...

0:10:30 > 0:10:32CRASH!

0:10:39 > 0:10:40No dawdling!

0:10:42 > 0:10:45There you are!

0:10:45 > 0:10:47What are we doing here?

0:10:47 > 0:10:49You are both going to jump out of that!

0:10:52 > 0:10:54BOTH: Aggghhh!

0:11:04 > 0:11:07It's here at last.

0:11:07 > 0:11:09The Panoonis Sticker Book of Phobias!

0:11:09 > 0:11:12Untold thousands of stickers to collect,

0:11:12 > 0:11:15each depicting a genuine fear!

0:11:15 > 0:11:17Genuphobia - fear of knees!

0:11:17 > 0:11:22Lutraphobia - fear of otters! Defecaloesiophobia - fear of pooing!

0:11:22 > 0:11:27Advertophobia - fear of adverts! What?

0:11:27 > 0:11:30Nobody's afraid of adverts!

0:11:33 > 0:11:35PLANE ENGINE WHIRRS

0:11:38 > 0:11:40Did we agree to this?

0:11:40 > 0:11:44- We must have done! - Curse those ad breaks!

0:11:44 > 0:11:49Oh dear. Mother, I think my fear might be a fear of flying.

0:11:49 > 0:11:50Not heights!

0:11:50 > 0:11:54Oh, don't worry, you won't be doing that for long!

0:11:54 > 0:11:58So long as your fear isn't jumping out of aeroplanes, you'll be fine!

0:11:59 > 0:12:02DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

0:12:08 > 0:12:13Look, you know I said I wasn't afraid of anything?

0:12:13 > 0:12:18- Yeeeees?- Well, I think I might be...

0:12:18 > 0:12:22a little bit afraid of jumping out of aeroplanes. OK?

0:12:22 > 0:12:25So point proved, well done! Let's go home!

0:12:25 > 0:12:29No! This is a great opportunity to learn how the body reacts to fear!

0:12:29 > 0:12:33Couldn't you just tell us how the body reacts to fear?

0:12:33 > 0:12:36And miss an opportunity to throw you out of an aeroplane? No chance!

0:12:36 > 0:12:40I've hooked you up to some sensors, a heart-rate monitor

0:12:40 > 0:12:43and a body-temperature-checking thingy.

0:12:43 > 0:12:47And we'll check the results when you hit the ground!

0:12:47 > 0:12:51I mean, make a completely safe, perfect textbook landing.

0:12:51 > 0:12:56Although, from these readings, you might not live past take-off.

0:12:56 > 0:13:02Right, when we're ready to go, we're going to put our goggles on...

0:13:02 > 0:13:05your arms crossed holding on the grippers real tight.

0:13:05 > 0:13:07Big screams as we leave the aircraft?

0:13:07 > 0:13:09That's not going to be a problem.

0:13:09 > 0:13:13Five or six seconds later, I'll give you a tap tap,

0:13:13 > 0:13:16hands out either side of your head. Ready to go now?

0:13:16 > 0:13:18Hell, yeah! Bring it on!

0:13:18 > 0:13:22Oh! I've just remembered, erm, I'm 91 years old!

0:13:22 > 0:13:25I'm far too old to do a parachute jump, so big mistake.

0:13:25 > 0:13:27Turn the plane around...

0:13:27 > 0:13:31Um...is it normal to be terrified?

0:13:31 > 0:13:33Of course it is but you're in safe hands.

0:13:33 > 0:13:35OK! Let's do it!

0:13:35 > 0:13:38- Oh 'eck!- Yippee-ki-yay!

0:13:41 > 0:13:44Stop it there, blank it out. OK. Jump into the screen.

0:13:44 > 0:13:47We're going to rewind at 100,000 times.

0:13:47 > 0:13:51Shout it, Jetman UK, full colour, feel what you feel.

0:13:51 > 0:13:54Crank the colour up, crank the intensity up, crank the volume up.

0:13:54 > 0:13:57- Go Jetman UK!! - Stop it there, blank it out.

0:13:57 > 0:14:01Jump out of the screen, bring it up in black and white.

0:14:01 > 0:14:02You may find you cannot.

0:14:02 > 0:14:04Where is it?

0:14:05 > 0:14:08Where is it? It's...

0:14:08 > 0:14:10It's gone..

0:14:10 > 0:14:11That's good.

0:14:11 > 0:14:15MUSIC: "Learn To Fly" by Foo Fighters

0:14:15 > 0:14:20Arrrggghhh!

0:14:24 > 0:14:28Aaaggghhh!

0:14:31 > 0:14:34Look at the camera, Big Howard!

0:14:35 > 0:14:38MOTHER BLEEPS

0:14:42 > 0:14:47Aaaaggghhh!

0:14:57 > 0:15:04# I'd give it all away if you'd give me one last try. #

0:15:04 > 0:15:05Woo!

0:15:16 > 0:15:19# Burn out bright! #

0:15:24 > 0:15:29Aaaaargh!

0:15:47 > 0:15:52- Woo!- Well done, Howard. Excellent job.

0:15:52 > 0:15:55We fell out of a plane and we're alive!

0:15:55 > 0:15:58That was such a radical rush, man!

0:15:58 > 0:16:00I was really scared but I did it!

0:16:00 > 0:16:05And now I feel great! It's like Christmas in my tummy!

0:16:05 > 0:16:06AWESOME!

0:16:06 > 0:16:10What happened to Big Howard's heart rate?

0:16:10 > 0:16:13Wow! Stay still, Mother!

0:16:13 > 0:16:15When I jumped out the plane, my heart rate almost doubled.

0:16:15 > 0:16:17That is what's called adrenaline.

0:16:17 > 0:16:21Oh! Didn't you used to play badminton with them, Big Howard?

0:16:21 > 0:16:24No, that was Adrian and Lynn.

0:16:24 > 0:16:28Adrenaline is like the chemical that your brain makes when you're scared.

0:16:28 > 0:16:30It gives you the energy to run away.

0:16:30 > 0:16:35Yeah! I feel like I could kick a bear up the bum! And run away!

0:16:35 > 0:16:39And I think it might also make you want to have a poo.

0:16:39 > 0:16:42Adrenalin is brilliant!

0:16:42 > 0:16:45Yeah, it's like a disco in my mind and everyone's invited.

0:16:46 > 0:16:48How soon can I do a flashback to that?

0:16:48 > 0:16:53It was great! Oh, what the heck, they do it on Cbeebies!

0:17:11 > 0:17:13Yeah, what a rush!

0:17:13 > 0:17:15That was, like, totally gnarly!

0:17:15 > 0:17:19My circuits are buzzing like a hornets nest yo!

0:17:19 > 0:17:21Let's do it again!

0:17:21 > 0:17:26- Oh dear.- Wooo! Where's the flumping plane, dude?!

0:17:31 > 0:17:34We jumped out of a plane, Big Howard!

0:17:34 > 0:17:36I feel like I could do anything.

0:17:36 > 0:17:38In fact...

0:17:38 > 0:17:41Oh! Little Howard, do be careful! No!

0:17:41 > 0:17:44# Being afraid is for bum-heads

0:17:44 > 0:17:47# Caution and fear are for someone else

0:17:47 > 0:17:50# Playing it safe and taking it easy

0:17:50 > 0:17:52# They are the things that Will make me queasy

0:17:52 > 0:17:55# Cowardice can be courageous

0:17:55 > 0:17:58# I'm lily-livered and I'm OK!

0:17:58 > 0:18:01# Curling up tight and crying for mummy

0:18:01 > 0:18:05# They are two things I could do all day! #

0:18:06 > 0:18:08- Hello? - Hi, Big Howard. Jetman...

0:18:08 > 0:18:12- UK!- Shhhh... Is now cured!

0:18:12 > 0:18:14Little Howard!

0:18:14 > 0:18:16The Fear Master's ready for you!

0:18:16 > 0:18:21- I don't need him any more! I am Fearless Boy!- Aaargh!

0:18:21 > 0:18:24# Being afraid is for losers

0:18:24 > 0:18:27# Crying and shaking are not for me

0:18:27 > 0:18:30# Fear is a word I don't understand

0:18:30 > 0:18:32- # So is refraction and cummerbund!- #

0:18:32 > 0:18:36Cummerbund is a belt you wear with a posh suit

0:18:36 > 0:18:39and refraction a change in direction of light due to a change in speed.

0:18:39 > 0:18:41# Being afraid is for bum-heads

0:18:41 > 0:18:44# Caution and fear are for someone else

0:18:44 > 0:18:47# Playing it safe and taking it easy

0:18:47 > 0:18:49# They are the things that will make me queazy

0:18:49 > 0:18:52# Sitting at home can be thrilling

0:18:52 > 0:18:55# Knitting and jig-saws are fun, fun, fun!

0:18:55 > 0:18:58# Sticking your head down deep in the sand

0:18:58 > 0:19:01# Is just so exiting it should be banned! #

0:19:05 > 0:19:08Jetman UK's jetpack! Brilliant!

0:19:09 > 0:19:11# Chickening out is for chickens

0:19:11 > 0:19:15# I don't have hot wings or chicken legs!

0:19:15 > 0:19:18# I don't strut about pecking at sawdust

0:19:18 > 0:19:24# I never say buuuuuck! And I don't lay eggs! #

0:19:27 > 0:19:30To infidelity and beyond!

0:19:33 > 0:19:40I can't believe it - I've chickened out again! Fear has beaten me!

0:19:40 > 0:19:43- Oh, thank goodness for that! - It won't beat me any more though!

0:19:43 > 0:19:45BOTH: Jetman UK!

0:19:45 > 0:19:49That's me and I intend to no longer be unintentionally hilarious!

0:19:49 > 0:19:53The Fear Master has taught me fears can keep you safe

0:19:53 > 0:19:56but when you let them rule your life it's a problem.

0:19:56 > 0:19:59There was a time when flying with this jetpack

0:19:59 > 0:20:01would have filled my pants.

0:20:01 > 0:20:05But now it will fulfil my destiny... not my pants.

0:20:05 > 0:20:10- Good for you, Jetman! You're a braver man than I am!- Yes, I am.

0:20:10 > 0:20:13Farewell!

0:20:20 > 0:20:22JETMAN SCREAMS

0:20:22 > 0:20:24CRASH!

0:20:24 > 0:20:25Oh dear.

0:20:33 > 0:20:36So, the Fear Master cured you of your fear of heights then?

0:20:36 > 0:20:41Yes. Turns out I should have been afraid of my engineering ability.

0:20:41 > 0:20:45What was the phrase they used to describe your jetpack?

0:20:45 > 0:20:50A "flying death-trap!" Note they used the word "flying".

0:20:50 > 0:20:53So I was kind of right to be afraid?

0:20:53 > 0:20:56Yep. What you felt wasn't an irrational fear of heights,

0:20:56 > 0:20:58it may have been a very astute suspicion

0:20:58 > 0:21:02that my jet-pack might not actually work very well.

0:21:02 > 0:21:04At all.

0:21:04 > 0:21:08Neither of you should have touched that jetpack with a bargepole.

0:21:08 > 0:21:12We couldn't reach it with a bargepole! It's stuck up that tree.

0:21:12 > 0:21:13Perhaps it's for the best.

0:21:13 > 0:21:16Not for the tree, it's still on fire.

0:21:16 > 0:21:20- Are you going to be OK, Jetman? - Yeah, don't worry.

0:21:20 > 0:21:24I'll be in here for another three months but that's not so bad.

0:21:24 > 0:21:28The food's good and at least it gets me out of the shed.

0:21:28 > 0:21:29Plus I've got a lovely view!