0:00:02 > 0:00:06MUSIC: "Worlds Away" by Jebediah
0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Worlds away from anyone
0:00:09 > 0:00:13# They were burning themselves out in the sun
0:00:13 > 0:00:18# It was just enough to get that far away! #
0:00:37 > 0:00:41'My little brother was on a mission to sort out my love life.
0:00:46 > 0:00:50'I didn't ask him to do this. He just butted right in.'
0:00:58 > 0:01:02Dot? Remember me? Philip Leonard - Lockie's brother.
0:01:02 > 0:01:06Got a minute? I'd like to talk to you about you and Lockie.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09'Technically, Dot and I weren't anything yet,
0:01:09 > 0:01:12'but Philip thought we needed a kick along.'
0:01:12 > 0:01:16Can we get ice cream, not cream, on those iced chocolates? Thank you.
0:01:16 > 0:01:20I'll be sitting at my usual table. ..Take a seat, Dot.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24'It all started the last day of the Easter holidays.
0:01:24 > 0:01:29'I'd wanted to spend it at the beach. Mum had other ideas.'
0:01:32 > 0:01:36- Not a hair out of place.- 'Family photo time in the shopping centre,
0:01:36 > 0:01:40'where we paid some "professional" to take a photo of us standing
0:01:40 > 0:01:44'against some backdrop of a desert which none of us had ever been to.
0:01:46 > 0:01:50'It seemed like everyone else in Angelus had the same idea.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53'We were on our best behaviour, for Mum's sake.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56'Philip didn't last five minutes in that queue.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00- 'While we stood in line, he went looking for something to do.'- So...
0:02:00 > 0:02:03The question on everyone's lips.
0:02:03 > 0:02:08Lockie - do you like him?
0:02:08 > 0:02:11- He's a little...- Weird?- Yeah.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14He gave me this T-shirt, and then nothing.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16- I haven't seen him since.- Hmm.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19Lockie's way of saying he really likes you.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22- I've never had a boyfriend before. - That's OK.
0:02:22 > 0:02:27Lockie's never had a girlfriend that lasted longer than a day. So...
0:02:27 > 0:02:30How would you feel about kissing him?
0:02:30 > 0:02:32I've never really kissed anyone.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37- Maybe.- Maybe yes or maybe no?
0:02:39 > 0:02:40Maybe yes.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Excellent.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46'Meanwhile, things were going from bad to worse.'
0:02:46 > 0:02:50Lockie, come here! Oh, you've got Vegemite all over your face!
0:02:52 > 0:02:56'Why does my mother's spit always taste of fish paste?'
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Please! There are people watching!
0:03:11 > 0:03:14- Who was that, dear? - Dot Cookson - Lockie's girlfriend.
0:03:14 > 0:03:19- Philip! She's not my girlfriend. - You gave her a T-shirt!
0:03:19 > 0:03:22That screams girlfriend to me in capital letters.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25- You should've told us you had a girlfriend.- I don't! She's not!
0:03:25 > 0:03:28She's just a girl who happens to be my friend!
0:03:28 > 0:03:32- Tell her that tomorrow when you meet up.- Eh?!
0:03:32 > 0:03:36- Five o'clock, at the Wind Farm. - What's happening at the Wind Farm?
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Lockie's kissing Dot.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41PEOPLE WHISPER: Lockie's Kissing Dot.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44'There was nothing I could do - the word was out.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47'And once it was, it spread like wildfire.'
0:03:47 > 0:03:51Attention! Attention! Lockie's kissing Dot!
0:03:51 > 0:03:54Attention! Attention! Lockie's kissing Dot!
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Lockie's kissing Dot!
0:03:57 > 0:03:59- Lockie's kissing Dot!- (What?!)
0:04:01 > 0:04:06Tomorrow, 5 o'clock!
0:04:07 > 0:04:09On the dot.
0:04:09 > 0:04:13Citizens of Angelus, Lockie's kissing Dot!
0:04:14 > 0:04:17My children are all growing up.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Family hug.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23Now!
0:04:24 > 0:04:29If that is what happens when you grow up, I'd rather eat dead fish.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31This is even worse than we thought.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34- The river's dying. - I know how it feels.
0:04:35 > 0:04:40We've gotta step this up, make more people notice what's happening.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43- Organise a protest or something. - I could hide!
0:04:43 > 0:04:47Find a big, dark cave and stay there till it blows over!
0:04:47 > 0:04:51Why would kissing a girl make you wanna hide in a cave?
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Kissing a girl in front of 40 billion people.
0:04:53 > 0:04:57Wow! There's been a sudden population explosion in Angelus.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00OK, so you freaked out, because you're kissing her in public.
0:05:01 > 0:05:0540 billion people gawking on. Yeah, wouldn't you?
0:05:05 > 0:05:08I'd put up with it. Maybe you need to find a different place.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11Somewhere quiet, private.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13What's that?
0:05:17 > 0:05:18Come on.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25Some kind of rusty, tunnely, pipey looking thing.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Oh, gross!
0:05:27 > 0:05:28Mega-gross.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46- Wow!- What is it?
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Wow!
0:05:53 > 0:05:57- Where are we going?- We're gonna have a word with the factory boss.
0:05:57 > 0:06:01- Good idea! What are you gonna say? - That we have concerns.
0:06:01 > 0:06:06Environmental concerns, concerning the factory and its toxic pipe.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Can I help you, boys?
0:06:12 > 0:06:17- We have concerns.- Do you now? - We would like to talk to your boss.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Aren't you the kid that's gonna kiss Dot?
0:06:19 > 0:06:21- Lockie's.- Kissing.- Dot.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24Please, this is important.
0:06:24 > 0:06:28Clear off, Romeo, before I call the cops! Come on, beat it, boys!
0:06:37 > 0:06:40And the pipe leads all the way from the river to the factory.
0:06:42 > 0:06:47- Mm-hm?- I bet it's illegal. We have to shut it down or something.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Mum, Egg and I were thinking.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52We could organise a public meeting here next week.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54That's nice, dear.
0:06:54 > 0:06:58Fish are dying, Mum, and all you can say is "nice"?
0:07:02 > 0:07:06- Maybe we could have a roast. - For the rally? Yeah!
0:07:06 > 0:07:08- I hadn't thought about food! - Rally? What rally?
0:07:08 > 0:07:11No, I was talking about Sunday lunch.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14You could ask your girlfriend over. What's her name? Dot?
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Sarge and I would love to have her.
0:07:20 > 0:07:21Oh...
0:07:23 > 0:07:2613 years old.
0:07:26 > 0:07:30It seems like only yesterday you were born.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33'Who said being 13 was so cool?
0:07:33 > 0:07:36'I remember that being three was pretty topnotch.
0:07:36 > 0:07:40'Lots of food, no school to worry about, and no female issues.'
0:07:40 > 0:07:44Quick, family hug. BOY CRIES
0:07:44 > 0:07:45Now!
0:07:47 > 0:07:51'Then, just when I thought it was safe to go into the water...'
0:07:55 > 0:07:58Dot, what are you doing here?
0:07:58 > 0:08:01'Here was my chance! Kiss her now! Get it over with!'
0:08:01 > 0:08:02So...
0:08:04 > 0:08:08So...back to school tomorrow. Bummer, eh?
0:08:08 > 0:08:10- Yeah.- It's not so bad as far as schools go.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Actually, it's a shocker.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16Wait till you meet Old Squasher, our maths teacher.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Worst of the bunch as far as teachers go.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21I hope your algebra's up to scratch.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23- Alge-what?- Bra.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27- As in equations.- Equations? Isn't that all high school stuff?
0:08:29 > 0:08:32'Cue music that sums up horrible sinking feeling in tummy.'
0:08:33 > 0:08:36Remind me, you'll be going to Angelus High.
0:08:36 > 0:08:42- Right?- Angelus Primary. - As in...primary primary.
0:08:42 > 0:08:46As in the place you go before high school?
0:08:48 > 0:08:51So you would be how old, exactly?
0:08:51 > 0:08:53I'll be 12 in August.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57PEOPLE WHISPER: Dot's only 11!
0:08:57 > 0:09:00- Dot's only 11!- Dot's only 11!
0:09:00 > 0:09:05L = 13 x 365!
0:09:05 > 0:09:08Dot's only 11.
0:09:08 > 0:09:15And D = 11 x 365!
0:09:15 > 0:09:19Attention! Dot is only 11!
0:09:19 > 0:09:24And what is the age difference between L and D in days?
0:09:24 > 0:09:28ALL: 720 days!
0:09:28 > 0:09:31I've...I've gotta go. See you at the Wind Farm tomorrow.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35'No! She's only 11?! How is that possible?!'
0:09:39 > 0:09:41So what if there's an age gap?
0:09:41 > 0:09:44I'm not kissing a primary school kid! This is all your fault.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47It doesn't affect my relationship with Lisa.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50You haven't got a relationship with Lisa!
0:09:50 > 0:09:54Ten years down the track, you'll be 22, Dot'll be 20.
0:09:54 > 0:09:58- No big deal there.- I won't still be going out with Dot when I'm 22!
0:09:58 > 0:10:03- You're dropping her? You haven't even kissed her!- I'm not going to!
0:10:03 > 0:10:06You shouldn't have told the whole planet that I was!
0:10:06 > 0:10:11- When you gave Dot the T-shirt, you thought she needed new clothes?- No!
0:10:11 > 0:10:13OK...I admit.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15I like her.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18So you gotta kiss her.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21- Says who? - I don't make the rules.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24Everyone will know me as Lockie Leonard, cradle snatcher,
0:10:24 > 0:10:28hanging out with a primary school kid 720 days younger.
0:10:28 > 0:10:32Back out now and you'll be known as something a heap worse.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42'High school - it was good for two things.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44'One, it lacked primary schoolers.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47'Which meant, from the hours from 9 to 3.15,
0:10:47 > 0:10:50'I was free from having to deal with the Dot factor.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54'And two, Admin had a killer photocopying machine.
0:11:04 > 0:11:08'Saving the environment was a great way to forget about my problems.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11'Not that they were going away. Philip had seen to that.'
0:11:13 > 0:11:15EGG WHISTLES
0:11:30 > 0:11:33TELEPHONE RINGS
0:11:41 > 0:11:43TELEPHONE IS ANSWERED
0:11:50 > 0:11:53- Watch out!- Sorry.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Throwing a protest meeting?
0:12:01 > 0:12:03- Yeah.- Next week.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05Save our river.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Good luck.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16Shouldn't you be on your way to the Wind Farm?
0:12:23 > 0:12:28'By 3.30, my tummy started to feel like it had drunk the Indian Ocean,
0:12:28 > 0:12:30'jelly blubbers included.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33'The thing is, I didn't mind the idea of kissing Dot,
0:12:33 > 0:12:35'but there was another part of me
0:12:35 > 0:12:38'that would rather eat Blob's nappies.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41'I don't know how you can both really want something
0:12:41 > 0:12:43'and really NOT want it.'
0:12:43 > 0:12:46The world record for the longest pash is 30 hours,
0:12:46 > 0:12:4859 minutes and 27 seconds.
0:12:48 > 0:12:53Do you plan to break that? I must know, so I can get more videotapes.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55'Philip planned to film my misery.'
0:12:55 > 0:12:58Hey, loverboy! THEY CHORTLE
0:13:00 > 0:13:02Well?
0:13:02 > 0:13:04- I've gotta go.- What?
0:13:04 > 0:13:06You can't!
0:13:06 > 0:13:10Egg and I have got to save the environment.
0:13:11 > 0:13:12Now.
0:13:12 > 0:13:16HE SIGHS So, loverboy's chickened out!
0:13:18 > 0:13:20'Boof was right.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24'But, if it's any consolation, the river was worth saving.'
0:13:25 > 0:13:27- EGG:- Save our river.
0:13:27 > 0:13:32- Save our river.- Save our river! Save our river.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35I can't believe you piked. Dot probably won't turn up anyway.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Nothing worse than a no-show.
0:13:37 > 0:13:41You'll be lower than a shark's bum if you don't at least front up.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45- Save our river.- Save our river. Come to the public meeting.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47Yeah. Good idea, boys.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51About time we did something about that sorry excuse for a waterway.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53- So you'll come to the meeting? - Absolutely.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55You can count on me to front up.
0:13:56 > 0:14:00Nice to see some people around here have principles.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04What time is it?
0:14:06 > 0:14:074.30.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10Do you think I've still got time to get to the Wind Farm?
0:14:10 > 0:14:12If you take my bike... and you're lucky.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Dot's here!
0:14:21 > 0:14:24Glad you could make it.
0:14:24 > 0:14:25- Where's Lockie?- Er...
0:14:25 > 0:14:28he had some important stuff to do.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30But he'll be with us shortly.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32Mind if I film you?
0:14:32 > 0:14:35OK, I guess.
0:14:43 > 0:14:44No, no, no!
0:14:44 > 0:14:49Stay in tight on me, then pull back, take in the locale,
0:14:49 > 0:14:52then zoom in on the talent. Got it?
0:14:56 > 0:14:58And...roll tape.
0:14:58 > 0:15:02We're here today to mark a very special moment,
0:15:02 > 0:15:06the first kiss of two of Angelus's hottest grommets, Lockie and Dot.
0:15:06 > 0:15:10So, are you planning on breaking the world record today, Dot?
0:15:17 > 0:15:22Hey, Lockie's no chicken-guts! We're just heading to the Wind Farm now.
0:15:22 > 0:15:26Yeah, and of course I know how to kiss. Why...do you want one?
0:15:26 > 0:15:30I wouldn't, Lockie. Wouldn't believe where those lips have been.
0:15:30 > 0:15:31Boof kisses mullet.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34- I do not!- I saw you down at Joel's Boat Shed.
0:15:34 > 0:15:38You stole a mullet from his nets and put it to your lips...
0:15:38 > 0:15:42- Shut your trap, before I shut it for you!- Suckface.
0:15:42 > 0:15:43'Go, Egg! It was beautiful stuff.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45'It was also going to get us killed,
0:15:45 > 0:15:49'but it was worth it to see the look on Boof's face.'
0:15:49 > 0:15:51He's lying! As if I'd kiss a fish!
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Losers!
0:15:56 > 0:15:58I can't believe you didn't tell me!
0:15:58 > 0:16:00I was saving it up.
0:16:00 > 0:16:05- Let's get you to the Wind Farm.- Hang on, I'll just get these pamphlets.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08I can't feel them. My arms aren't long enough.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Don't worry. We can print more off.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15- If I can just get my head... - Come on, we're going to be late!
0:16:15 > 0:16:16Argh...I'm stuck!
0:16:16 > 0:16:21- Hang on, Lockie...what if I pull your legs?- I can't move my head!
0:16:21 > 0:16:25- What'll we do?- I don't know! Call someone! The ambulance!
0:16:25 > 0:16:29The air force! The army! Anyone!
0:16:30 > 0:16:33'But Egg had a better idea.'
0:16:37 > 0:16:40'Surprisingly, this wasn't as bad as it looks.'
0:16:40 > 0:16:43Lockie, you all right in there, mate?
0:16:43 > 0:16:44MUFFLED SHOUTS
0:16:44 > 0:16:46'There was a strawberry shake in there
0:16:46 > 0:16:50'and, best of all, I didn't have to do anything,
0:16:50 > 0:16:53'say anything...or kiss anything,
0:16:53 > 0:16:56'kind of like a place I'd been a long time ago.'
0:16:57 > 0:16:59We're gonna call him Lockie.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02Now.
0:17:06 > 0:17:10I can stand in for Lockie if you like. I'm quite experienced.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17I can angle-grind the side of the bin.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Wouldn't that be risky?
0:17:24 > 0:17:27I can try and drill the pop rivets out.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32That's my boy in there, I would like to get him out alive.
0:17:32 > 0:17:36Is there something you could do that would...not involve such risks?
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Life IS a risk!
0:17:43 > 0:17:47Just give me five minutes alone with him.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57- Dot Cooks and Wind Farm, why the no-show?- I was going to turn up.
0:17:57 > 0:18:01But I got this thing stuck on my head, didn't I?
0:18:01 > 0:18:04- Well, do you like her? - I don't really know her.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08- She's in primary school. - I said...do you LIKE her?
0:18:09 > 0:18:13- Yeah, she's hot.- Well, then, what's all the fuss about?
0:18:13 > 0:18:15I've got my head stuck in this.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19Oh, your head's definitely been stuck somewhere.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22Come on, Lockie, out with it.
0:18:23 > 0:18:24What happens after...
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Yes?
0:18:26 > 0:18:29- After...- Come on, Lockie, you can do it.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31After I...
0:18:32 > 0:18:33Kiss her?
0:18:33 > 0:18:36Yeah. What do you do then?
0:18:40 > 0:18:42- Lockie! - SHE SIGHS
0:18:42 > 0:18:47- I don't know what I'm supposed to do.- None of us do, love.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51We just try and do our best...
0:18:52 > 0:18:56..to be as honest as we can with ourselves and...
0:18:56 > 0:18:58with each other.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01'And I realised I couldn't stay in here forever.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03'I had places to be, things to do.
0:19:03 > 0:19:06'And besides...I'd finished the thick shake.'
0:19:06 > 0:19:07Mum...
0:19:07 > 0:19:10Yes, Lockie?
0:19:10 > 0:19:12I think I'm ready to come out now.
0:19:12 > 0:19:16'In the end, we didn't need angle grinders or drills to get me out.'
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Pull harder, Mrs Leonard!
0:19:19 > 0:19:22'Mum had this idea of smothering me in dishwashing detergent.
0:19:22 > 0:19:27'Apparently it's how you get a ring off if it's stuck on your finger.'
0:19:27 > 0:19:28GROANING
0:19:28 > 0:19:32ALL: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrggghh...
0:19:34 > 0:19:38'I slipped out of the bin like a cork out of a bottle
0:19:38 > 0:19:41'and Mum got to experience me being born all over again.'
0:19:41 > 0:19:43My baby!
0:19:46 > 0:19:48'It was good to be out,
0:19:48 > 0:19:51- 'even if life was more complicated.' - SQUELCH!
0:20:00 > 0:20:05'Eventually the crowds got sick of waiting for the Lockie-and-Dot show
0:20:05 > 0:20:07'and went home to watch the telly instead.
0:20:07 > 0:20:12'Yeah, Lockie Leonard was a no-show. The lowest of the lows.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25'I was always going to bump into Dot sooner or later.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27'Angelus is a small town.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30'Following her from her house also helped.'
0:20:30 > 0:20:33'Yep, tracking her down was the easy bit.
0:20:33 > 0:20:38'It was how I was going to make up for my no-show at the Wind Farm.'
0:20:44 > 0:20:47'Dot was cool. How many girls do you know
0:20:47 > 0:20:52'go hunting through the library for ancient copies of Surfing World?'
0:20:52 > 0:20:54Dot! Hi!
0:20:54 > 0:20:56'Once again, something weird happened.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00'My tongue went all numb and I'd forgotten how to speak.'
0:21:00 > 0:21:02You're even weirder than your brother.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05'Things hadn't got off to a good start.'
0:21:05 > 0:21:06Sorry. For yesterday.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09I should have been there, and I wasn't,
0:21:09 > 0:21:10and...you know.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12Sorry.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14Whatever.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Well...I just wanted you to know.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Dot...
0:21:19 > 0:21:21wait.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24'It was now or never. But I needed a romantic lead-in.
0:21:24 > 0:21:28'Something to set the mood. Something smart that showed I had a brain.
0:21:28 > 0:21:32'I'm sure Sarge in the same position would have some killer poetry
0:21:32 > 0:21:35'but all I could think of was The Man From Snowy River.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38'And somehow that didn't feel so right.'
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Look! What's that over there?
0:21:44 > 0:21:46'OK, so it wasn't a 30-hour pash-a-thon
0:21:46 > 0:21:50'and technically I hadn't even connected with her lips.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53'But you know what? It didn't even matter.'
0:22:09 > 0:22:13'Now we'd kissed, we could get back to the important things in life.'
0:22:36 > 0:22:39# Boy, it's breaking
0:22:39 > 0:22:46# Underneath the waves of strain, hey-hey-hey
0:22:46 > 0:22:48# Hey-hey-hey
0:22:48 > 0:22:50# Worlds away from anyone
0:22:50 > 0:22:54# They were burning themselves out in the sun
0:22:54 > 0:22:59# There was just enough to get that far away. #